Swap FTW

A buddy and I decided to swap characters. I went from playing my bugbear barbarian at levle 11 running Tomb of Horrors, to running her Cleric with a Rogue Dip….suffering 2 levels of exhaustion,almost out of spells, and without any idea what was in her spellbook. We warned my DM….didn’t think to warn hers. I park in her spot, explain our idea, and start scanning the sheets. 

Story begins. I’m still in Barb-mode, and march through a door into a room of stuffed cats, and a statue of a man wearing a tiger mask. I elect to remove the mask. He comes to life and attacks me. Dm - “Roll initiative!”  I’m near the bottom. Other players attack. I’m frantically looking for SOMETHING useful to do.
My turn. “I am going to seduce the man.”
DM “Uh, ok, how?”
“I’m going to dip him, like in a romantic play I saw once.”


4! Dm- “Roll dex!” 16! *phew* You don’t fall down, and he’s un-seduced, but a little confused. 

“That would have gone sooooo much better if I had a rose to put between my teeth, like really up the romance, you know?” to the other cleric. 

Other players attack, tiger man attacks me, the other cleric… “I pull out my flute and begin to play.“ 
Dm "Do you have a magic flute or anything?” “No, it’s just a normal flute.” “Ok, roll your performance at disadvantage” 12, I think. The player begins to pointedly hum “Careless Whisper” at me.

I ask the DM if the “romantic pointed fluting” gives me advantage…he agrees, this allows me a straight roll on this second seduction attempt. 16! 

Dm- He’s not seduced, but you do pull off the dip, and now he is VERY confused. 

Another player swings a hammer at his head, bouncing it off mine and doing damage to both. Tiger man changes into a tiger. Before the DM can tell me what happens….I interject.

“My strength is SO low, a 700 # tiger would just fall to the ground and take me with its.”
Dm- “Ok, you are snuggled into the tiger’s tummy, he attacks (dice roll behind the screen, he drops his head into his hands) the tiger misses. Apparently you’re too close to attack." 

Other cleric switches tunes to "Let It Go”  (She has been humming careless whisper the WHOLE ROUND!) casts guidance on me. 

I make eye contact with the DM. “Do I have advantage over this guy due to the musical accompaniment and general ridiculousness.”

“Sure, yeah.”
“I’m going to use animal handling”
He says, ok, it’s going to be a hard check…..“  

Me "Nat20, and a 4 on the D4”. 

Dm- Well I guess combat is over, and Ancora is now cuddling and talking silly to a tiger on the floor.

A few checks later, and I got to give my friend her character back, now in possession of an immortal undead were tiger, answering to Mr. Cuddlypoof, and who will literally follow her anywhere. :) 

Other cleric - “I need to play a bard” 

Me “Yeah, that was freaking genius, and extremely funny to boot!” 

I’ve been invited to play at his table anytime. ;) 

So like, I’m of firm belief that Sasuke- albeit not often- visits his team now and then under the pretense of needing information from Orochimaru. Its refreshing to him to be around these people who respected and supported and followed him to the end. He misses Suigetsus snark, watching him press Karins nerves. As much as Karin smothers him and sometimes borders on the uncomfortable side; he appreciates her. and its kind of funny to watch her and suigetsu quip back and forth. And Jugo needs him as much as he needs Jugo- he’s a big day of sunshine and Sasuke probably feeds off the calm he provides just as much as it goes the other way. Its soft, and they have full length conversations and maybe they all take a nap together even though they’re all in their 30s. After all, they’re his team. He cares about them.

emmathechocolate  asked:


The first time the aliens hear singing they aren’t sure what to make of it. It sounds human but it’s… wrong somehow. Weirdly pitched, spoken too slowly. The aliens view it as just exaggerated talking, but the humans enjoy it so they leave them be.

It starts with just humming while the humans work. The aliens know that the humans are multi-taskers. They need to do something to keep busy while ALREADY being busy. (The aliens never thought they would ever grasp the concept.)

The humans brought their own painfully ancient sound system (in comparison to the alien’s standards) onboard the ship and were humming away occasionally to melodies they seemed to already know.

The other aliens in the workshop did not expect all of the humans to gasp simultaneously and begin singing in unison. It was like a hive mind. They were throwing their arms in the air and spinning around - what could loosely be called dancing. What was worse: none of what any of the humans were saying made any coherent sense. With other songs that the aliens heard, there was at least a central message that the song seemed to be portraying. This certain song was all over the place; sometimes the humans would sway calmly to gentle melodies and sometimes they would throw their heads back and forth to rough beats.

The aliens had a hard time believing it was only one song, but a human that they spoke to later confirmed that yes, it was just one.

When pressed for answers as to why that particular song was the only one they’d witnessed that could garner such a unified response, the human only smiled and said, “Everyone loves Bohemian Rhapsody.”

(This ask was kinda vague sorry if it isn’t what you were looking for)

when I said hold me I meant take the words from my eyes, drip your loneliness into breaths I can digest from the stars I hear you in. I love the lonely in hopes to someday love myself. I write in the broken to complete the sentences I dreamt up when yesterday bit my tongue. I cry in heaves to remember how to feel when I miss the feeling of belonging in my own arms. when I said I need you I meant I see trees where your feet have ran into dust, a billed sentence asking the ocean to take you whole tonight. Exhaustion is in the way I say hello to a letter folded in half every night, in fingers that have lost track of bedtime stories told to the silence humming a hole through my stomach every time the sun rises before you close your eyes. In the sand that left an imprint of a door I’ve kept open for the wind to close in a single debt I pay to bruise my knees to hear you say my name. Love me or leave me, just listen when I say it was never meant to be this way. Or like that. Or like never. Some words don’t hold weight, it just means that I’ve got to let this go, just like how you’ve got to let me go. Some days, I try– today, I do. Today was not meant for an us. Once again, I fall short. I don’t get to hit the ground and break into a million pieces. I don’t get to lose my breath and have a noose that’s too tight, I get to breathe today. I don’t get to overdose, I can be a little high– these things are alright, it doesn’t break my heart to take another pill, but it fucking rips me open to know that we can’t do this anymore. Was love meant to be this hard? Am I unlovable? Were you? If you were a soulmate, then this isn’t really goodbye. It just sounds like it. If we were ever in love, then this is us finally getting it right. Sometimes when you love people, you hurt them. Sometimes when you love people, you let them go. They say that if someone really wants to be with you, they won’t have an excuse as to why things won’t work. They’ll make it happen. This is my excuse, I’m just not that into you anymore. And yes, I should’ve tried hard– but if that’s the case, how come I feel like a hardened soldier who has been through hell for you? Cities have fallen for less, my heart has been undressed so many times, I forget about what it feels like to finally pick yourself. Against the odds, I picked tragedy. My back against the wall, I pick the salt throne. If this life composes another symphony, you won’t be a part of it. If this heart picks another sound to dance to, you won’t be by the phone. If I decide to pick destruction, at least I’ll break by my own hands. I don’t need your consent to fucking hurt tonight. I don’t need your smile to be understood– some days the ocean asks to drown, today? It’s judgment day. And this is just another meaningless poem as to why things could’ve worked out, but did not. This is what a broken heartbreak speaks when it has had enough. This is my no to your yes. This is my goodbye to your stay. This is my poem for our home, this is forgive me– it’s yours and yours alone.
—  The Ate & The Bunso

More weird reminders:

A ton of people think / thought Kvothe was Yllish from his hair and looks, Hemme among them.

“Ahhh,” Hemme said, feigning disappointment. I had heard that Yllish tribes use the sun to tell time, and as such, have no true concept of punctuality. However, as you are not Yllish, I can see no excuse for being late. Can you?”

SO AT SOME POINT Hemme thought Kvothe was Yllish and Kvothe said he wasn’t. A LOT of people compare Kvothe to Yllish people throughout the first book. 

anonymous asked:

Can I have a scenario with Ciel where he has a panic attack after a disturbing memory and his s/o tries to calm him down and comforts him, but in his fear he lashed out on them? They don't give up though, they keep comforting him throughout the yelling and panic. Thanks!

Tiny spoilers from the newest chapters, I guess…?

There was still a sweet smell of jasmine tea and melting wax in the night air when you suddenly woke up, covered in cold sweat, wondering what kind of nightmare did you experience tonight. This time, however, you could not recall any terrifying images created by your imagination instead of restful sleep – what got your attention was but a quiet voice murmuring from behind the wall of your bedroom. Rapidly you got out of bed and lighted up the candelabra standing on the shelf only to quickly grab it and rush toward the door.

You were more than aware what was happening, you had lived through it so many times it was hard to count and yet, Ciel’s suffering whimpers never failed to leave you shivering and nervous, but also immediately ready to react and help him. Your presence was the only one he desired in such times, after all, since he believed that he can trust you the most, to the point where he was willing to open up his soul in front of you, exposing all his weaknesses and insecurities.

If he would still have a tiny glint of faith inside his heart, he would surely call you his guardian angel, right now, however, he was enjoying your presence more than any possibility of having such a magical creature by his side. You were real, you were here, you were loving and supporting him, unlike all the heavens he heard so much about as a child, which did nothing to prevent the death of his closest family members. You were different than all those lies and soon after falling in love with you, Ciel realized that you were indeed worth more than all those filthy lies, thus he decided to cherish you as much as he could, the most precious and the best what has ever happened to him.

And so he did, that is why you were now sitting at the edge of his bed, looking at the pile of duvet, pillows and blankets and Ciel who was most likely hiding under all of them, curled in a ball and sobbing quietly. Gently, you placed a hand on top of the soft fort he unintentionally built around himself, trying to collect yourself and appear as calm as possible, wishing it would affect him, too, and therefore let him peace down his anxiety.

„Ciel,” you whispered, not wanting to startle him anymore but the only answer you received from him was another tremble from under the sheets.

How he didn’t remind you the proud, powerful earl whose mask he was wearing everyday, right now, he was more like a scared, little deer, praying for the danger to walk away.

„It is okay, I am here and I won’t let anyone hurt you, I promise,” you continued, now not so certainly sure if it was going to work again since only few days passed since the last time you used similiar words to calm him down. „You are safe.”

Muffled response reached your ears but you couldn’t understand it, not until he peeked out of his hideout and you could see the pair of huge eyes, now shining with tears, piercing into your soul with such a power you didn’t even flinch at the sight of the devilish contract engraved in his pupil.

„Liar.” His voice was low and trembling, and there was a venom on his tongue. „You are going to despise me and leave soon, dirty liar.”

„I am not going to hate you, ever,” you ensured calmly, hand still placed at the top of the pile of sheets covering his back. „I love you, you are the most important person in my life and nothing can change my feelings, Ciel I-”

He didn’t give you a chance to finish the sentence, instead, he almost jumped out of the bed and pushed you away with enough strength to make you fall down on the floor and hit your back – not to harm but to cause pain, making you leave a shocked yelp.

„Do not dare to say that!” he shouted but although he seemed to be completely furious, his tone was filled with deep grief and bottled sorrow. „Do not dare to say that ever again!”

You didn’t understand, you didn’t even know what was happening when he wiped off the unstopping tears falling down his cheeks and grabbed the first object next to him only to throw it at you – which luckily was one of many pillows. You couldn’t sit on the floor anymore, you had to do something and so you stood up and grabbed another pillow aimed for you before he could throw it with his full force, gritted teeth and the tears that were drowning him.

„You know nothing, you understand nothing!” he screamed when you grabbed his bony wrists in an attempt to prevent his eventual further attacks and only then you realized how scared you were right now.

You didn’t hear his yelling, all the hurtful words he was shouting at you, too focused on trying to calm him down and repeating to yourself that it wasn’t him, those weren’t his thoughts and he truly didn’t think this way about you. You had to help him, he wasn’t bad nor evil, he just needed your patience and you were going to give it to him, whether he wanted it or not, and soon, you found yourself holding him close to your chest, hugging tightly and not caring about the insults screamed to your ear nor attempts of pushing you away once again. You weren’t going to let him go, not until all those broken pieces will be put in their places to support him, at least until next time they will broke.

Ciel calmed down after a long while, firstly accepting your hug but not returning it even when his tears dried off on his cheeks and the fabric of your nightgown. The silence filling his bedroom was sick, lethal even, contrasting so visibly to his previous actions and the screames which escaped his mouth in an unsuccesfull attempt of pushing you away – both literally and not. He was still trembling when you stroked his messy hair, his body now appearing so small and fragile in your arms, the earl so vulnerable and exposed.

„I am sorry.” His tone was hoarse from all the shouting, bleeding with anger and sadness. „I am sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

„Everything is fine, I understand,” you whispered patiently. „I told you that I love you and I will be here for you when you need me.”

He didn’t answer and there was no need to, words weren’t able to express the storm and chaos that was happening in both your hearts right now. The night was quiet again and you could hear the crickets singing outside the mansion which unexpectedly made you wonder… since you were there to save him from himself, then who was going to save you?

My friend just text me asking “Errrrm are you coming over tonight?”

I made plans to see her tonight and watch Beauty and the Beast at hers. I made the plans on Monday and I ALREADY forgot them.

I’m having a really out of sorts day where I feel like I’m running out of time and forgetting a lot of things. My priorities are all off. I don’t know what I’m doing or why I keep wasting my life like this.

i’ve been thinking about all those posts about “we need female heroes who do girly things”/”why is the female hero always such a tomboy” and then the response posts that are like “uhhh actually we don’t really have any really masculine female heroes either” so i was trying to figure it out—what do we have, exactly?

and really what we get is women who eschew “girly” things while still managing to look like society’s ideal woman. they would never touch eyeliner (they’re too busy with Important Things), but their eyeliner is immaculate. they have a huge, varied wardrobe, but wouldn’t be caught dead actually shopping for clothes. and it reminds me of the expectation that women must be effortlessly beautiful. don’t wear makeup or you’ll seem self-absorbed—but god forbid you look like you’re not wearing makeup. it’s interesting to me, that the impossibilities imposed on female characters are the same ones imposed on real women.

Weird kkc reminders:

Master Arcivist [Lorren] stands a bit taller than 6 ½ feet tall [pg 258 NOTW] 

He also knows of Kvothe’s father, Arliden, asking about the name and calling his father a bard: “Did you say your fathers name was Arliden?” … “yes” … “Arliden the bard?… I was wondering what troupe he preformed in.”

Lorren is a very subtle and not reactionary in any form. Dull and almost expressionless most of the time.