humour is my coping mechanism

anonymous asked:

What about aliens that have limited telepathy when holding physical contact and they touch a human with intrusive thoughts and a Millennial way of dealing with it? So they heard "what if The ship just crashed into that sun?" "Glathor is having a kid soon I'm not going to do that Sharon." and instantly tries to send the human to medial "you are under mind control that wishes to kill the whole ship please let us help! WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT YOUR BRAIN JUST DOES THAT!?"

As far as humans went, Casey was for all intents and purposes normal. They were better with numbers and physics than most – humans and Frilaks alike – but still well within the range of normality. They were a kind person; compassionate in the same way most humans xe had met were. All in all, there was nothing that would have warned Garnork about the entities controlling them.

Out of respect for privacy, Frilaks tended to avoid physically touching other species, but most humans didn’t seem to mind. As a matter of fact, a lot of them sought out physical contact in the form of ‘hugs’ or ‘high fives’ or other strange concepts. Casey had never been opposed to physical contact, so when xe saw them again after a period of absence, xe engaged in the customary ‘hug’.

Xe had expected to pick up the normal ‘this is surprisingly nice,’ or ‘naw xe likes me,’ or even a ‘wonder what’s for dinner’ as the two of them hugged, though xe ended up picking up something far more important.

‘What if the ship just crashed into that sun?’

‘Galathor is having a kid soon, I’m not going to do that Sharon.’

Instantly, Garnork pulled away from the hug, but made sure they were still touching. “Casey, you need to go to the medical bay.” Xe said, xir colours betraying xir worry. Casey knew enough Frilaks to know how to interpret xir hide turning a light teal colour. At least that was what their thoughts told xem. There were a lot of socially inappropriate words too, though in xir experience, these ‘swears’ weren’t considered as inappropriate as some humans liked to pretend.

It took a bit too long before Garnork remembered that Casey didn’t have the abilities of a Frilak, and therefore had no idea what was going on.

“You are under mind control that wishes to kill the whole ship please let us help! WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT YOUR BRAIN JUST DOES THAT!?” xe asked, sounding and looking more than just a bit frantic. This wasn’t good, this really, really was not good.

Maybe they didn’t know quite what was going on. Humans did have very little experience with actual mind control. However, before xe could press on, Casey stepped out of xir reach and ran a hand through their hair.

“Okay, so this is going to be a bit difficult to explain, but I’ll do my best. So what I’m guessing you heard or saw or however it is you do your mindreading thingy,” they began, holding up a hand when Garnork attempted to say something. “Let me finish, please. They’re called intrusive thoughts. Annoying? Yeah. Dangerous? Not really. Normal? Yes. Completely. Pretty much every single human gets them from time to time. It can be like it was just now, or suddenly thinking about swerving into a different lane on the motorway, or stabbing a friend,” they said, clearly realising they had to change their tactic as xe turned a deep magenta colour of fright.

“But we don’t act on them! They’re intrusive, so you can’t really stop them, but you can deal with them when you get them.”

“But you called them Sharon. Is that not a name your species use on some individuals?”

“Well, yeah, but I’m a millennial. Fatalistic humour and unconventional coping mechanisms are sort of my thing,” they shrugged, but continued their elaboration when they realised Garnork didn’t understand. “It’s easier to not do it when it sounds stupid, and it’s really annoying. So I just pretend it’s being said by some posh soccer mum.”

It took a while before xe remembered another human crewmember’s explanation of the phenomenon and expression of ‘soccer mums’ and that they weren’t the creators of a sport as the title suggested.

“And this helps you not crash the ship into a sun?” xe asked, getting a nod and a smile in return.

“Yup. But like I said, it’s nothing to worry about. Oh, but I see Galathor, I’ve got to ask xem how xe’s doing. I’ll catch you later, alright?”

And with that, Casey left xem, more confused than usual, though it really wasn’t unusual that humans confused anyone.