please unmute this

My mind was wondering and I imagined having this conversation with my wife:

Wife:  Do you have any celebrity crushes?

Me:  Well, there are many very attractive female celebs, but I’m really not obsessed with any except the One Direction lads.  Yeah, I guess I do have a crush on Harry Styles.

Wife:  One Direction, of course, but a crush on Harry Styles?  What the hell.  Is there something you need to tell me about?

Me:  No, no, no.  I don’t want to kiss him or touch his junk or anything - that’s not my thing.  I’d just love to take him out to lunch now and then and really get to know him.  I mean, I’d love to give him a big, warm hug.  Hopefully his hair would be down, so I could smell it and feel it against my cheek……

Wife:  You are so weird.  Why don’t you obsess over pro athletes like most guys.

Me:  …………………But, have you even seen his hair?