humorous cards

  • Witches who have their shit together: Pursue your craft! Choose your passion and study it! Spend every day writing your book of shadows! Study more than one type of magic so you can expand your interests!
  • Me: Tag yourself I'm tarot failure and sigil bitch
At the store this evening, I learned something new:

I totally don’t get all these new super-specific greeting card themes.

They all seem like such rare circumstances to me.

Friendship Romantic Cheer Get Well cards: 

For when you’ve got a sick friend you kinda want to ask out, but think they’ll need further cheering up if you try.

Milestone Sweetheart Teen cards: 

For when your teenager just took up distance running with their boyfriend/girlfriend, which obviously warrants a greeting card.

Cheer Get Well Miss You Romantic cards: 

For when things didn’t go so well in the relationship, and you need to imply you miss them while under the pretense of just cheering them up.

Wife Grandmother Niece Cousin Aunt and Wife/Husband Grandparents Niece/Nephew Aunt/Uncle Cousin cards: 

For when you have an event and need to send cards to every single family member possible, and want to ensure no one feels left out.

And, most-importantly, 

Wedding Baby Anniversary Thank You Sympathy cards:

For when someone is celebrating the anniversary of them marrying a hyperintelligent baby, and you need to appreciatively congratulate them while simultaneously expressing your condolences that said marriage happened in the first place.

I mean, I’m all for being specific, but it feels like that situation wouldn’t come up that often. 

“Carl, I looked over your latest scene, and I have some, uh... card continuity questions.”

Carl the Animator: “You mean cardtinuity questions?”

Ted the Animator: “…no. Because that pun barely even works.”

Carl the Animator: “Awww.”

Ted the Animator: “So, Shag and Scoob are pretending to be playing poker… they each have 5 cards, and there are two big piles of blue chips.”

Carl the Animator: “You forgot to note they have super stylish outfits, too.”

Ted the Animator: “It cuts to a reverse shot, where the zombie walks up and takes Shaggy’s card… and he only has 3 cards now? And there’s a big pile of red chips on the table, too?”

Carl the Animator: “Yup!”

Ted the Animator: “Then, in the closeup of the table, everything is laid out completely differently, and now there are white chips, too?”

Carl the Animator: “Yup!”

Ted the Animator: “Plus, I have to wonder how the top card’s back got to be solid green with a black rectangle, ‘cause the rest of the cards beneath…”

Ted the Animator: “…are all green with a thick white border.

Carl the Animator: “Yup!”

Ted the Animator: “And– and– and then we see Shaggy’s hard again, and the Ace of Clubs became an Ace of Spades, the Ace of Hearts teleported randomly to the right, two 7s appeared entirely out of nowhere, all but one pile of poker chips have disappeared, and there’s no sign of the white or red chips whatsoever!!!

Carl the Animator: “Breathe, Ted, breathe!”

Ted the Animator: “…what… what happened to the continuity, Carl?”

Carl the Animator: “Well… really…”

Ted the Animator: “…?”

Carl the Animator: “…I just didn’t care.

Ted the Animator: “…oh.”

Carl the Animator: “You should try it some time, it’s fun.”

When You're a Witch (Pt. 5)

I’m rapidly learning that my tarot deck has a sense of humor… I was shuffling in while walking home (keeps my hands busy, prevents me from walking with my nose in my phone, and helps build a bond with the deck). As I walked, a card popped out and fell to the ground. I pick it up: 8 of wands reversed. Delays in travel.

“Huh. Okay.” I pick up the card and continue shuffling and walking. Just before I get home, a card pops out and falls to the ground face up. Eight of Wands. Reversed. Right in front of me. Like it was saying, “See? Told you that you’d be delayed! I did it!” All while laughing as I shuffle it again.

I knew getting this deck was a good idea. I can relate. XD