humor-post

the signs as shit i've heard at school part II
  • Aries:"I'm lawsuiting that house because the fuckin pink bush is throwing me off my game."
  • Taurus:"I literally just wrote "significant figures" as my name."
  • Gemini:"Jacob Sartorius makes my butt clench."
  • Cancer:"What's a synonym for revenge that isn't revenge-y?"
  • Leo:"You know what I don't wanna do!?" "Live!"
  • Virgo:*very offendedly* "Where are your pants??"
  • Libra:"No you idiot, Libra isn't Spanish, it's astrology."
  • Scorpio:"Will you marry me?" "He has his headphones in he can't hear you."
  • Sagittarius:"Did I just paper cut your face?"
  • Capricorn:"I just wanna eat my nachos, Josh Stokes!"
  • Aquarius:"Nikayla hit a guy in the dick on accident and he got a boner and then she hit it again. It was the worst ten minutes of my life."
  • Pisces:"This show's nothing but puree drama." *finger guns*
Little bit of funny

I was helping to prepare dinner, as my mom wasn’t gonna get home till 7:30 as she was gonna check out a house. So, I helped prepare the chicken breasts for dinner.

I texted my mom, asking about the right temperature. Then, I dresed the chicken in spices.

And I texted my mom “Well, I dressed the kids, and sent them off to summer camp to get their golden tan.”

My mom lost it, laughing. And then she replied.

“Your a goof.”

“Give me a break, I’ve been handling four naked breasts.”

She laughed, and so did my sister when she told her.

I think I need to cut myself off from media for awhile. Everything is making me way too anxious. 

Just a warning so friends can maybe see, in case they wonder “wait where did Berman go?”….if I manage to keep this up for more than a few hours ahahahha

An MBTI Post (I have no title for this, just read :)

ESFP - The most extroverted extrovert

ENFP - The most introverted extrovert

INFP - The most extroverted introvert

INTJ - The most introverted introvert

INFJ - The most intuitive intuitor (yes, I did just make up a word)

*There is no ‘’sensory intuitor’’ sorry…

ISTP - The most intuitive sensor

ESTP- The most sensory sensor

IxFP - The most feeling feeler

ISFJ - The most thinking feeler

ESTP - The most feeling thinker

INTP - The most thinking thinker

ENFP - The most perceiving perceiver

INTP - The most judging perceiver

ENFJ - The most perceiving judger

ExTJ - The most judging judger

Hope you enjoyed whatever this was! :)

Gender Neutral Names to Call Your Significant Other
  • Obtuse
  • rubber goose
  •  green moose
  • guava juice
  • Giant snake
  • birthday cake
  •  large fries
  • chocolate shake