humor-post

I love how in Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Steve and Bucky are having their dramatic highway battle and the cars in the other lane just keep driving. Like, the regular people in the Marvel Cinematic Universe must be so jaded at this point. Like, “Ho hum. Another Monday. Aw dangit. Looks like they’re at it again. The five o’clock rush is gonna be hell.”

Being bisexual is so weird because sometimes I’m like

(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ boys  (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

and other times I’m like

(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ girls  (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

and other times I’m like

(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ non-binary people (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

but most of the time I’m like

🔪🔫🔪🔫🔪 biphobes  🔪🔫 🔪🔫🔪

The Winter Soldier: *Kicks a man into a flaming engine*

The Winter Soldier: *Throws a grenade at a pilot and steals his aircraft*

Steve *calling over his shoulder while running after Bucky*: Sorry about that! He’s not usually like this! He’s really very nice most of the time!

Bucky: “Don’t do anything stupid until I get back.”

Steve: *Joins the army despite being physically unfit.*

Steve: *Jumps on what he believes to be a live grenade.* 

Steve: *Volunteers for a dangerous science experiment.*

Steve: *Storms a HYDRA base by himself.*

Steve: *Runs deeper into a HYDRA base that has just been rigged to self destruct.*

Bucky: “So basically you interpreted “don’t do anything stupid” as an invitation to do everything stupid short of crashing a plane into the ocean or picking a fight with aliens.”

Steve: *Adds that to the list of things to do next time he and Bucky get separated.*

Different types of Kitten

Jhene Aiko kitten:has you thinking heaven is here on earth. Most likely to cuddle and talk afterwards. Always in a situationship and comes to you for comfort

Kehlani kitten:homegirl you’ve always tried to get with. One night you hit her with the henny dick and now neither of you can let go. Tough and will curse you out in bed, but it’s a turn on tbh

Beyoncé kitten:the kitten that’s using you because she knows her man is cheating. Will record you two together in order to show it at his company launch.

Rihanna kitten: crazy chick who choked you one time and made you call her daddy. Makes you wear a collar because she knows she owns your ass.

Nicki Minaj kitten: the kitten you met on vacation in Waikiki that made you think love was real when she bust it wide open on your lap. Had you praying to god.

Mariah Carey kitten: Suga moma kitten that takes care of you. All you have to do is stroke that ego. And that kitten. She will get hers before you get yours.

Ariana Grande kitten: unevolved Mariah Carey kitten. Evolve her using gifts of donuts, crop tops, and hyped up reviews of her performance in bed.

Kali Uchis kitten: The kitten who everyone fucks with. You smash every time you two smoke. Likes the color pink and being pampered. Be prepared for car sessions

Solange kitten: Kitten that inspires you to do better. Don’t touch her hair during sex. Will have you listening to records afterwards taking about your dreams.

Lady Gaga kitten:Your experimental phase. Marched to the beat of her own drum and yes that means you fucked in front of an audience for the applause

Sade kitten:The kitten that taught you everything you know. Smooth af. She’s the reason your ass can even set the mood for future girls. Too good for you and disappeared after 8 days of extraordinary love

Lana Del Rey kitten: Kitten that is a sugar baby and you have no issues with it. Likes it in hotels and random places for the thrills. Likes calling you daddy. Watch out for her ex tho.