humor of sorts

Each house when: the finals are finished
  • Gryffindor: 1) Get out of the classroom 2) Slam their backpack on the floor 3) Slip’n’slide along the corridor while I Want To Break Free by Freddie Mercury plays in the background
  • Hufflepuff: Gather at a friends’ place drinking hot chocolate anxiously wondering if they answered question 3)b) correctly until one of them decides that let’s not talk about it anymore shall we ? *happy evening full of laughter and hugs ensues*
  • Ravenclaw: Go straight home, wrap themselves in a blanket with a mug of tea for a binge marathon of all 12459637 episodes from their on-going series they have to catch up to before the finale
  • Slytherin: Pretend like they aced it, Actually aced it, Secretely thinks they screwed up and need to revise their whole path in life. Will probably crawl into their bedroom listening to soothing music until dawn so they relieve the tension and adrenaline accumulated during the finals

anonymous asked:

"You're such a bitch" chloenette for the writing prompt please if your still taking requests

Authors note: I am so excited that I have multiple Chloenette and Ladybee promts in this challenge so I can explore so many dynamics in this relationship! For this one, I had to go with humor ^_^ (For those looking for romantic Chloenette don’t worry, it’s coming) 


“Chloe, what are you doing?” Marinette asked as she stared at girl who was currently lounging in Alya’s seat. 

“I’m sitting next to my best friend of course!” She smiled, patting the desk beside her, “Cesaire can sit over there. Isn’t that right Sabrina?” she called to her usual partner in crime. 

“Of course! Whatever you think is best Chloe. I’m so excited we are getting new friends!” Sabrina grinned manically, giving Marinette an energetic wave. 

Marinette slide into her seat. “What did you tell her?” she hissed, “I thought we were clear yesterday that a secret identity needs to be kept a secret!” 

Of all the people to possibly find out about her alter ego, it had to be Chloe. 

“Of course I didn’t tell her about… you know… I just told her that you and I ran into each other at a cafe and hashed out our differences,” Chloe whispered back. “So I was thinking we should go shopping together after class.” 

“Why would you tell Sabrina that?” Marinette asked, praying that she could get this whole mess sorted out before Alya and Nino showed up. If she was lucky maybe today they would have one of their morning make out sessions and come racing in seconds before the bell. 

“Well Sabrina is my best friend, I had to tell her something! Especially since we are going to be spending so much time together now. I didn’t want her freaking out and going all… invisible again.” 

“What… time togeth… what are you talking about?” 

Chloe gave her a pitying smile, “Oh silly, you don’t have to pretend anymore. I know you have to keep up the whole lame, clumsy persona so that people don’t figure out your secret, but you don’t have to hide from me! I’m your best friend!” 

“No you’re really not.” 

“And I know you better than anyone.” 

“I seriously doubt that.” 

“and just think, now you can be yourself around someone! Because we are truly together now. It’s like destiny. Me and Ladybug, just like it was always meant to be. And you know you can even act like less of a spaz and everyone will just assume that it’s because our friendship has made you that much cooler, and no one will suspect that it’s just your true self shining through.” 

“Could this get any worse?” 

“Chloe?” a new voice interrupted. “What are you doing in Alya’s seat?” 

Apparently it could get worse, because Marinette looked up to see Adrien, looking confused, standing next to his own place in front of her. Great. 

“Oh Adrikins! Marinette and I have decided to become best friends. It’s alright if I bring her with me for our monthly movie night on Thursday right?”

“Sure, I guess…” Adrien said still looking like he was expecting to wake up any second to find the whole conversation was a dream. Or maybe Marinette was projecting.

“I was thinking we could all go shopping first,” Chloe continued obliviously, “or maybe manicures because really Marinette we should do something about your poor nails. Oh! Before I forget- selfie!” She pulled out her phone, slinging an arm around Marinette shoulder and giving the camera a brilliant grin. Marinette scowled, then flushed self consciously when she noticed Adrien staring at them both with a strange, searching expression. 

“Sorry!” Adrien said, shaking his head when he realized he had been caught staring, “deja vu… anyways I am glad you two are getting along now, it will be fun to all hang out together.” He gave them both an encouraging smile and slipped into his own seat, pulling out his phone. 

Marinette sighed, slumping down in her chair. At least something good might come out of this. It seemed that Chloe was finally going to stop trying to ruin her already disastrous attempts to spend time with Adrien.

“So where should be go for lunch?” Chloe asked. 

“Chloe, we are not going to lunch together,” Marinette said trying to channel her mother’s firm but quiet tone. “We are not best friends, and you need to go back to your seat, preferably before Alya gets here.” 

“But you’re Ladybug.” 

“Yes, but I am also Marinette. You know, the girl you picked on mercilessly for the last 5 years?” 

“I know and I forgive you for that.” 

“Chloe,” Marinette growled, “get out of that seat.” 

“God, you’re such a bitch. So anyways I was thinking seafood…” 

Yuugi Crew Gets Drunk

You know, it’s too bad that I agree completely with the headcanon that Jounouchi would never touch alcohol. I just can’t see it, but- I’ve locked myself out of so many hilarious headcanons with this acceptance.

So instead I have jumped into the ‘Jounouchi as the fed up designated driver/babysitter’ head space.

Atem would be both his favorite and least favorite drinker because HE IS HILARIOUS when he’s drunk- Gets competitive and angry, 120% enthusiasm and 2% skill. He will try to duel a lamp and end up screaming over his lost gamer pride. But, he’s also painfully difficult to keep alive in that state, like he needs a leash and a police force to keep himself and others out of harm. So to help him in this endeavor Jou turns to-

Yuugi. He just wants to sleep when he’s drunk, so put him in a chair or bed or Atem’s lap and he (i.e. both) are happy. Atem doesn’t exactly melt at the contact, but he also isn’t about to foist off a sleepy partner, so he just sits there with a lap-full of Yuugi glaring murder at everyone else in the room while Yuugi just snores away.

Anzu just lets loose- She’s a laughing dancing happy mess. As long as she doesn’t have unlimited access to the alcohol - she has no ‘time to stop’ impulse - she’s fine. Jou just lets her waltz around the group pretty freely because she keeps the mood from getting stressed- Just watch the booze.

Honda wants to help you. He thinks you have drunk too much. That you need help sitting down. That you are in trouble. He trips over nothing trying to help you to a seat and groans on the ground. Dealing with him is a non-stop chorus of ‘It’s fine, we’re fine, we’re cool, just sit down Honda’.

Otogi gets more suave. Jou hates it. He just wants him to cool it for five seconds and stop showing everyone tricks with the shot glasses.

Bakura is terrifying. That’s it. He just becomes Yami no Bakura. Oh, he’s not trying to steal your items or find your missing name, but he will cackle and grin evilly at you and sneak the most gruesome horror flicks onto the screen. He honestly just thinks he’s being funny/friendly, but drunk!Atem thinks he’s the real deal. 

Fights ensue.

Someone grab Yuugi.

I don’t care if he’s asleep on the coats get Yuugi and throw him at Atem lives are on the line here no not you, Honda, stay put- Goddamnit.

Kaiba is not there. He is not allowed. Jou said so from the beginning but the last time he crashed he and Atem destroyed a couch and he is not allowed in.

Each house when: it's their last day at Hogwarts
  • Gryffindor: Does That Stupid But Awesome Thing they held back doing for 7 years like trying to ride the Giant Squid (and they succeed)
  • Hufflepuff: Throw the party of the year in the kitchens with all the other Puffs (Sprout even brings some homemade Butterbeer but shh *wink wonk*)
  • Ravenclaw: Brings a bouquet to Mrs Pince with an apology note for all the times they’ve been late to turn a book in. (They probably still have one in their trunk though).
  • Slytherin: Goes say a super awkward but genuinely respectful goodbye at McGonagall that makes her question her dislike for the house (Snape makes sure she remembers in september though)
Overly Analytical Problem #28
  • Person: Hey! What are your plans for spring break?
  • Analysts Thought: Finding something fascinating and getting completely obsessed with it and studying and analyzing it until I know every single detail! Yay!!!
  • Analysts Voice: Oh, ya know. Just kind of hang out... nothing much.
No, the blog isn’t dead!

This is a long-time coming buuutttt I guess I should finally say something. So first off- no, the blog isn’t dead forever! I’ve just been taking a very long, very unplanned hiatus due to personal reasons that I’ll touch on a bit.

Putting it under a readmore because it’s a lot but TLDR version:

EQP is not dead! It’s just on impromptu hiatus until I figure some real life things out.

Keep reading

Each house when: they loose their favourite thing
  • Gryffindor: Keeps searching. Again. And again. And again. The common room like it has been visited by a tornado – the thing was probably in some leather jacket pocket though
  • Hufflepuff: “Hey have you seen my [favourite thing] ? I’ve been looking for it all day and I can’t find it” *crying kitten eyes*
  • Ravenclaw: Retires in their mind palace retracing what they did for the last 1547896 hours, where they went, who they talked to, what the weather was
  • Slytherin: “Accio [favourite thing]”. Duh.
A Hogwarts Issue
  • INTJ, ENTJ, ENFP, and ESFJ just watched some Harry Potter. Things get interesting. Just a reminder ESFJ is Gryffindor, ENFP is Hufflepuff, INTJ is Slytherin, and ENTJ is Ravenclaw.
  • G: Why are all Slytgerins so MEAN. They're awful.
  • S: Great... now I have to kill you in defense of my house.
  • G: Point proven.
  • R: Well, why are Gryffindors always going and doing something stupid?
  • G: You want to take this outside?
  • R: Point proven.
  • H: Guys, just chill. Besides ENTJ, what makes you Ravenclaws so high and mighty.
  • R: Phhhtt! We're not prideful! That's beneath us!
  • H: No offense but... Point proven.
  • S: Why do you do that? "No offense?" Why are Hufflepuffs always so... nice.
  • H: Awwww! We're really not.
  • S: Point proven...
  • S, R, G, and H: *awkward pause*
  • R: Want to watch the next one?
  • Everyone: Yeah!
Draco Learns About Recycling
  • Draco: What are all these different bins for? Why are there so many?
  • Harry: Well, only one of them is an actual bin. Those others are for recycling.
  • Draco: *frowns*
  • Harry: That's when they take old paper or plastic and turn it into something new and useful.
  • Draco: Oh my God, no. You said Muggles couldn't do Transfiguration!
  • Harry: They can't. Recycling isn't–
  • Draco: Potter, the Muggles are turning objects into other objects. That is bloody Transfiguration! *hysteria increases* This is just like that time you were hiding the existence of magnets from me! First I find out Muggles can summon things and now this!
  • Harry: I wasn't hiding anyth–
  • Draco: No, Potter! I just need some time alone right now. Just... just go away and come back when you've decided to tell me what other magic Muggles are capable of.
  • Harry: ...
  • Harry: *sighs* I guess it's time you learned about Roombas.
Each house when: partying
  • Gryffindor: epic 3AM dance solos. Most likely to buy you a drink - love to dare Slytherin into drinking shots
  • Hufflepuff: know everything embarrassing everyone ever did when partying, love to play Cupids
  • Ravenclaw: either made the playlist themselves or Shazam constantly. Incredible dancers
  • Slytherin: awkwardly sits in the corner in the beginning but once they loosen up they’re unstoppable
Sordid Sorting

Godric Gryffindor: “Sorting Hat, you are my greatest creation. It will be up to you to sort every Hogwarts student into the house where they truly belong.”

Sorting Hat: “I shall strive to be fair and equitable, master.”

GG: “What?! No, forget that noise. I made you and you’re going to put the kids where I tell you.”

SH: “Oh, uh OK. What did you have in mind?”

GG: “First, put all the cool kids in Gryffindor. Then put the jerks in Slytherin, the nerds in Ravenclaw, and everybody else in Hufflepuff.”

SH: “Don’t you think the other founders will object?”

GG: “Nah! We’ll just tell Salazar he’s getting all the ‘ambitious kids,’ we’ll tell Rowena she’s getting the smart kids, and Helga… Y'know, Helga’s pretty chill. I don’t think she’ll bug us about it.”

SH: “OK, whatever you say boss.”

GG: “Dang straight.”

Each house as: Shakespearean characters - Macbeth
  • Gryffindor: Macbeth - Takes Things Way Too Seriously
  • Hufflepuff: Banquo - doesn't believe in evil, should have
  • Ravenclaw: The Three Witches - edgy women who leave in the bushes
  • Slytherin: Lady Macbeth - "I don't want to be queen, I want to be The Queen™"

but can you just imagine. sam or tony or clint or someone walking in on steve drawing bucky. bucky completely nude and at ease, lounging on a beanbag chair. steve’s not even blushing, just drawing intently. bucky saying “sup” like he’s not as naked as the day he was born and sprawled out in full view as captain america does a very, very detailed sketch of him