humans that frustrate me

Friends as how I see them


  • The Mom Friend 
  • death memes
  • sends memes to cheer people up
  • has a studyblr (learnt html just for this)
  • cries 3 times a week 
  • “i spent most of my time researching how to remove my tear ducts”
  • may have social anxiety but can ace that scholarship interview
  • is the dead sea in terms of salt level
  • can be irrational af lol
  • listens to other people problems so much that when they finally gets to talk about themselves…two words: word vomit
  • helps to sort out my emotions
  • sorry what emotions
  • appreciate these unicorns, they are truly as rare as they say 

you know what is the worst time to get an art block? DURING  ASK ANSWERS….. so have my OC Ringleader drawn crappy like because bunny didn’t have the right canvas size… *stressed bunny*

You wanna know what frustrates me? Young humans are looking up to Supergirl and think that toxic relationships are ok. They think “no is actually if I keep bothering them it will eventually be yes.” They think it is ok to not listen to their partner. They think it’s NORMAL to never be listened to. You know what? I’ve lived this and I never in a million years want this to be “romanticized or glorified” in any sort of media. It is dangerous. It is hurtful. It is abusive. While I love the show, I am starting to wonder what message are they trying to convey. They say it is about empowerment. No, it is only empowering negative behaviors and thoughts that can become self destructive and abusive when taken into the context of real life. This is more than “who gets the girl,” because if this is some contest, strike 2. The show needs to recalibrate and reevaluate what they are portraying to young minds, the most vulnerable minds. Love is bigger than the romance. So, I miss my girl Kara Danvers, the sunshine puppy who is able to love so many. I miss Cat, Lucy, Mgann, Eliza, Livewire, Alex, Maggie, and especially Lena Luthor. Because they have, in their womanly wonder, made this show bigger than the privileged conquest of white male heteronormativity it has sadly warped into. I have faith that Supergirl will rise again, until then we must be strong and fight like the heroes we are and have within us.

Fed Up

Originally posted by sarolina20

Anonymous Requested: Loki x reader where the reader is Thor’s best friend and hes incredibly jealous. He starts acting really cold towards her and when she confronts him it’s a big fight and they both say harsh things but quickly regret it but make up and admit their feelings for one another. Thanks love ❤️

Warnings: fighting?

requests open for Loki, Thor and/or Bucky for angst or Christmas fluff only.

please don’t plagiarize my work - I spend a lot of my time writing, copying and pasting destroys that. If you’d like to repost, please ask first - but even then I might say no.

You were absolutely fed up.

Smacking your fist against the door before you, you didn’t care how much noise you made. You continued to bang your fist against the door, wish must of lasted at least half a second before the door finally swung open. Glaring at Loki who held the door open, you shoved your way past him.

“Well, hello to you too.” Loki smugly said, shutting the door behind you.

Rolling your eyes, you spun around, crossing your arms over your chest and turned to face Loki. You didn’t say anything at first, only stood there, glaring at him like he was just suppose to know - which he absolutely was suppose to know.

Only Loki wouldn’t admit it.

“Can I help you with something?” Loki asked, clasping his hands behind his back like the ever-lasting gentleman he was. 

“Yes, actually.” You spat, walking over to the slightly taller man and slamming your hand against his chest. “You can explain why you ignore me. Why i’m now apparently some kind of villain now. And you can explain to me why you’ve been acting like a idiot.”

Loki paused for a moment for effect, remaining silent for dramatic effect before smirking. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He calmly replied, grasping your wrist and gently taking your hand off of his chest, But you only kept it there, snarling your lip dangerously. You were fed up with Loki’s games and refused to let him get the best of you.

“Don’t bullshit me, Loki.” You spat, shaking your head. “I’m tired of your games. What did I do to make you hate me?”

Loki only laughed, shaking his head as he pushed himself away from you. “I don’t hate you.”

You scoffed; “well clearly you do, considering you haven’t spoken a word to me since Ragnarok.”

“It’s not what you think,” Loki explained, calm as always. But your calm attitude had left long ago and your patience was wearing thin. “Explain it to me then,” you countered, watching him as Loki spun and walked around the room. Turning to face you, Loki said nothing and you held your hands at your side in question. “I’m waiting! What is it that you can’t tell me, if it’s so important that you completely shut me out of your life?” As you spoke, you grew closer to Loki, all the way until you were up against his chest again.

The moment you reached him, it seemed all had snapped for Loki as well.

“It’s because your overbearingly annoying!” Loki spat, his voice raising and you felt your eyes widen in shock. “You’re nothing but a human that has caused me needless frustration and annoyance.”

You remained silent for a moment, trying to hold back the emotions that threatened to spill. “Is that what you really think about me?”

“Yes,” Loki laughed incredulously. “I just never wanted to hurt your feelings.”

You scoffed, shaking your head and shoved your way past Loki. Reaching the door, you felt Loki’s eyes on your back as you gripped the door knob with a tight grip. 

“What are you doing?”

“You don’t have to worry about me being an annoyance anymore, Loki.” You slowly explained, glancing back shortly at Loki. “I won’t bother you anymore.” With tears in your eyes, you swung open the door, taking a step out. Just before you could leave though a hand caught your wrist and you were pulled back. Tripping over your own two feet, you fell into Loki’s chest, him having turned you around and felt your breath get caught in your throat as you met his gaze.

Not a moment later his lips were pressed against yours in a heated kiss, his hands cupping your cheeks and pressing you against him. 

And with a breathless whisper, Loki pressed his forehead against your own. “None of it’s true.”


“I was jealous.”

Stepping in tune with Loki, you clutched your hand against the cloth of his attire. “Of who?”


You met his eyes, shocked beyond comparison and part of you wanted to laugh - but then you saw the vulnerability in his eyes and thought better. Cupping his own cheek with your free hand, you smiled gently; “I only have eyes for you.”

“As do I.”

A sliver of silver reflection.

I remember years ago, while working in C-Sec there was this case where Turian children kept disappearing on one of the wards. Posters were popping up on every street corner, countless faces. Within weeks the outpost I was stationed at was packed with dozens of Turian parents begging for their children to be found. Often mothers doing most of the talking while the fathers were either out trying to find their sons and daughters themselves or simply did what they could to somehow get us to work harder on figuring out what in spirits name was going on. This was all happening within my first year as a C-Sec officer, before I got moved up to investigations at the C-Sec HQ.

My immediate thought was to figure out where all these kids were from and after a few days of asking around and looking through the public records of all the parents that had approached us I was able to narrow it down to a half dozen blocks of residential buildings. A mostly Turian enclave area of the Citadel with some Volus and Elcor mixed in, maybe even the occasional Salarian. 

One thing I noticed was how quiet the streets were. For an area that housed over ten thousand residents, the main streets were mostly empty. The local park had the occasional shady figure who would run off if you tried to get close, but for the most part it was also empty. 

I walked down a few dozen more blocks, out of the enclave and into the Asari/Salarian dominated area of the ward. Children and families were noticeably making up over half of the locals walking by. Asari school groups, and the occasional Salarian cluster created the kind of bustle you would expect. 

Growing up on Cipritine I was accustomed to streets filled with other children playing war, and building forts out of dumpsters and cardboard in back alleys and raiding the bases other ‘factions’ of kids who were part of different educational regiments or schools. 

As a kid I was much more fascinated with tearing things apart and figuring out why they work and trying to improve them or splice them into something else. 

Sol, my sister, took after me in this aspect a little as she got past her infant years my tools and projects would often go ‘missing’ often ending up under her bed or hidden in a closet.

I was never the kind of kid who was into reckless violence and growing up unless I had some kind of conviction for what I was doing. I only ever got into one fight with this one kid named Valaksus because he kept harassing the smaller kids. Ended up breaking his arm, and dislocating his other shoulder; I only walked away with a bloody face. We ended up moving to the outskirts of the city after that.

I could see the value in something like hand to hand as a form of protection for myself and others. Aside from that, if I didn’t believe in learning something I never really gave it my full attention much to the frustration of my father. I hated rifle training and hunting trips when I was young, needless violence, and why did I have to kill them? I always had a moral high ground of thinking people could, with enough persuasion see things my way and that violence could be avoided. My dad tried to help me understand that the convictions of the self and the convictions of the cause must always be worth dying for, and while this may seem close minded as I argued, he pointed out that some people’s causes are for peace and for helping others like he was with his job at C-Sec. keeping an open mind is always important when dealing with so many different people he said; but sometimes violence is necessary. Sometimes people need to die, and it is their conviction to their wrong doing that decides their fate. When I asked him how he decides who lives and dies he simply said their lives weren’t up to him; and that whether they needed to die or not wasn’t a choice he could make as a cop, but rather a personal belief he had to set aside for a noble cause: Staying within the lines of the law and of civility.

So walking around on the Turian enclave later that night while off duty I happened to pass by an alley when I saw a kid out of the corner of my eye at the far end. 

She ran off before I could say anything, and given the lack of any other kids in the area and the fact that they’ve been going missing, I ran after her. Down the alley, through some fences, and two residential buildings I followed her to this basement under some shabby restaurant that had closed years ago.

Ended up upon this ring of Turians who were selling the kids to Batarian slavers and auctioning others to Krogans who wanted to take their revenge out on the Turians who put their species down with the genophage. The kids couldn’t fight back. The kids would get shipped out to other parts of the citadel and would be beaten to death and disposed of, even cooked afterwards by some of the Krogan, most of the kids were homeless but as they ran out of those, they started taking the ones who had families just to keep the business going. 

Even to this day I can’t recall the firefight that ensued, or even fully recall tracking down every monstrous customer of this nightmare from the ledger I found and doing the world the service of removing them from it. I had never in my life experienced such an intense rage towards another person or group of people. 

 I killed them all. Every single one.

When my dad found out he was furious. Yelled at me about fair trial and following the rule book. Especially when it came to those that I had tracked down. 

He ended up covering the whole thing up, aside from giving me credit for shutting down the crime ring, which gave the promotion to the investigations unit, no one ever really knew or found out about everyone who had bought the kids. Several of them were returned to their families after a couple raids on batarian slavers weeks later, and the ones I saved that night went home the next day. The young girl I had followed had managed to escape and led me to where she was taken, before running home once she knew I would enter the building. Turns out she knew I was a cop because she had seem me on patrol weeks before. Within weeks the enclave seemed to be no different from the streets back home.

But he covered the whole thing up.

It was the only corrupt thing he had ever done in all his years at C-Sec. I know damn well I would have lost my job and probably gone to prison for murder.

But… they had to die. Of this I was fully convinced. 

From then on my relationship with him got even harder, we hardly talked, and anytime we did, it was either him lecturing me or both of us arguing. I began to loathe all the rules and red tape the came with the job and after what I had witnessed. 

The capability for unimaginable cruelty of other people. I always had more of a mind that taking these kinds of scum off the streets in such a way that they could never harm anyone ever again was worth whatever means it took to accomplish that, even if it meant bending or breaking some of the rules. 

This is how I went about my job at C-Sec for years, each year feeling more and more restrained by the rules that felt like they were only there to help the bad guys get away. People like Dr. Saleon. 

And then I met Shepard, this… amazing human who taught me how short sighted my frustrations had left me. Who showed me more than I ever would have learned with C-Sec. She showed me the direct approach of convincing others to see her side or dealing with them if they won’t. Who had the ability to set out the ideals I had as a kid and put them into practice in the real world. And who’s combat ability was a terrifying force to be reckoned with. The first few missions with her I caught myself distracted by how quickly she moved from target to target, clearing rooms faster than I had ever seen. The Geth, and the Pirates, Mercs, assassins. The minute she arrived they didn’t stand a chance. 

I aspired to be like her. How even with merc bands smart enough to talk first, she would give them the opportunity to leave, rather than shooting them first. Always offering the handshake first and the barrel of a gun second. 

Every encounter with Saren she fought him through words as well as weapons, and her spirit never seemed to back down. Her influence was so great she was able to convince him to take his own life, the last act of defiance against Sovereign. A power with words I had never seen in my entire life.

It was as if she was glowing and I was careful to absorb all I could from her and to be at her side no matter the situation. 

After Saren, I went back to C-Sec with a renewed fire and passion for serving; for protecting those who couldn’t protect themselves. And even though the frustration of the red tape was almost immediately apparent, I kept my head held high, and always offered the handshake and a way out, before going for the gun. Those months I brought in more criminals alive and unharmed (mostly) than I had ever done in entire years of working with C-Sec. Many of them recognized me next to Shepard on the vids of the battle for the Citadel, cutting through Geth heavy lines and kind of gave up as soon as I showed up to whatever operation they had going so I guess that made the job a little easier. 

 Intimidation wasn’t something I was used to, but I learned how useful it was in ending fights before they even began. 

 And then Shepard died.


 It’s still kind of hard to talk about or clearly recall.

It felt like losing a part of myself, and life on the Citadel fell apart. 

The constant drug busts and same scenario criminal kingpin wanna be’s made me feel like I wasn’t accomplishing anything.

I was losing it. 

Everything Shepard had taught me, everything we accomplished. 

Everything she taught me to be, everything that I was and wanted to be. 

I was losing control of it all. 

I had to do something. 

Had to stop the problem at the source. 

It’s what she would have done.

I Ended up drifting for a few months from colony to colony in the terminus systems looking for trouble as I went before losing my way all the way to Omega. 

I needed a cause to believe in and Omega was no shortage of causes. 

And well… Heh… I’m sure your familiar with how that went down hmm? 

When Shepard came back from the dead it felt like a part of myself that I had lost had been restored. I fought better, the banter came natural, I could let my guard down around her. I could truly feel like myself around her. 

No way was a I about to let a rocket to the face cut short what had been returned to me only moments prior. Though I’m sure how high I was off the stims might of affected how i was feeling. Three days straight of shooting bad guys can make even me a little… whats that human word? Cookoo? 

With Shepard back in my life I could feel more myself, and I could let my guard down around her, even more so than back when we took down Saren. It felt more natural this time round for us to be just us. 

Just like old times, but better still. 

And with very few people onboard the Cerberus ship that we felt like we could trust (I removed like three dozen hidden cameras and audio devices from the forward battery, as well as a algorithm tracker from my terminal) It was only normal that we turned to each other more and more. Old friends, a hard thing to find back then. 

And then after Shepard helped me with Sidonis, and the way Kaiden reacted to Shepard on Horizon, I suppose I should have expected Shepard to want more than friendship, me being the only one she could fully trust. And well… being completely honest that caught me completely off guard. 

It was… nerve wracking and awkward, but the more we felt out our feelings the more natural it became, the more… right it was and the more we could feel like ourselves. And this innate need to find ourselves in each other and to support each other defined every aspect of who we were, and spirits be dammed if I ever let anything happen to her because I know I’ll lose myself as well. 

 It’s a kind of belonging of the soul that I think we all strive for, and I couldn’t be more at peace with having found my place in this world by Shepards side. 

Because as I’m sure you know. 

There really is no Shepard without Vakarian. 

 And damn does being me feel good. 


Originally posted by condvit

anonymous asked:

I think while the Pens are struggling, Sid realises more than ever how much he needs Geno. Prompt idea: Sid struggling to sleep in hotel rooms and on planes unless he's next to Geno. The team being goodboys and not chirping their sad needy captain.

“Can I sit here?”

Geno swings his attention from his phone to Sidney who is standing in the aisle with his carry on over his shoulder.

He looks as unsure as Geno has ever seen him with his eyes darting around the plane and shuffling from foot to foot as their teammates bump into him to get around.

Geno stares dumbly at him and Sid huffs out an impatient breath.

“Geno.” He rolls his eyes. “C’mon.”


“Can I sit here. If you don’t want me to it’s fine, I don’t really care I guess, just thought I’d ask but-.”

“Sid.” He pushes his stuff off the seat and onto the plane floor to make room for him. “Sit. It’s fine. Sit.”

Sid gently kicks at Geno’s bag until it’s under the seat then sits down and drives Geno up a wall when he doesn’t say anything else.

He settles in and pulls out a book and looks like he actually pays attention when the flight attendants tell them about the emergency exits, like he hasn’t heard it hundreds of times before.

Keep reading


How would they react if discover their s/o is a werewolf - Preference

(Important! Decide to make a small preference instead of an imagine -because Castlevania is not so plenty of characters so the effort is smaller- for the request “Trevor/Alucard finding out his s/o is a werewolf”. Hope it will not bother you all the change, and specially the person who sended the request ^^)

(GIF by me ~ )

Trevor - He’ll be not really surprised of your condition, but of his own blindness about it, blaming himself about haven’t discovered it before. He will be struggling then about what he should do, because he loves you with all his heart, but his mission in life is kill every monster he finds, so he will ended being a bite cold and distant with you for a while, as long as he is thinking on what to do; eventually, he will explain you he cannot be with you because your lycanthrophy, but he is not going to kill you or hurt you never.

(GIF Credit [X] )

Sypha - She’ll be really surprised about your condition, but never feeling afraid of you. She is brave enough for a full village, so have a werewolf near to her -and even more if that werewolf is you- is not something that is going to keep her awake on nights. Or maybe, but not because the fear. She will spend her nights and days looking for a cure for your disease, trying to help you to come back to human again, and feeling frustrated every time she doesn’t find one.

(GIF by me ~ )

Alucard - He will be secretly pleased about your condition of werewolf, but only because from now he is not the only nice monster around. He will question you every thing about your kin and how you come to be what you are: who and where and when was you bitted, what do you feel when transformations come, how has been your life since the day you received the bite… And he will make you feel confortable with yourself, making a strange couple of friends -or lovers- , the vampire and the werewolf.

(GIF by me ~ )

Dracula - If he discovered it before to make you his s/o , he will keep his distances from you because the eternal rivalry between werewolves and vampires -mostly because he doesn’t want to add you to the victims count- , but if he is already enamoured of you when he discovers it, he will do nothing. He will make not a comment about your condition, but will be ready to protect you against any danger in the world, and specially against the Church and his members madness, because you may be a werewolf, yes, but you are his werewolf, and no one is going to touch again a member of his family.

Hi, all - thank you for all your kind words. I promise to answer every ask tomorrow. Some told me not to post Blackjack tonight, due to some fairly rude follower behavior. To be perfectly honest, I’m not the kind of person who lets rude people keep me from posting what I want.

It’s frustrating, when people don’t see me as a human and just see me as a writing machine. I love that you love my stories. Love that you read them, love that you want to know more - but you don’t have the right to demand more. Even if you ask in a nice way, with a sweet tone, it’s still the same message. The message is, “Yes, this is all nice - but it’s not enough. Where’s this?”

Someone saying, “you look like a horse,” hurts. Someone saying, “Hi. I love you and think you’re great - but your facial features remind me of a horse teehee,” also hurts. Just because you word something nicely, doesn’t make it nice. It makes you demanding and pressuring, just in a sugary way.

I already ask myself this question enough. I already ask myself, why are you not doing more? I don’t need you to do it for me. The most difficult part is when you tell me I’m being rude. No, you’re being rude. I’m often too nice. I don’t stick up for myself enough, so I’m doing it now.

To say I don’t deserve my followers? Who are you? I have never once asked anyone to follow me. I have simply posted and worked my ass off. If people enjoy my stories, I am nothing but grateful. I respond to every ask, every message. I love my followers and for you to say something like this is just plain spiteful.

I’m sorry you’re offended by my response to this ask. I could have been much ruder, but instead I just responded with the facts. If you don’t take the time to look at my updates schedule, to look at my hiatus post and see why I’m taking a break - why should I take the time to respond nicely?

That’s all I have to say. If you want to unfollow me, fine. I would much rather I have fifty followers who love my work and wait for quality updates than fifty thousand who can’t even see me as a person. Thank you. 


A bunch of messy traditional doodles I did when I was too lazy to take out my graphics tablet.

I needed to practice drawing humans - also can I say that drawing males frustrate me to no end?

Wiz @delicatewizardstranger
NV @nvart1
Coco and Ui by me

Yes, I have two personas, to represent different ‘sides’ of me so to speak. Coco is my main persona, though

Blue: Pt.17

Originally posted by kihyuik

Previous part: [Pt.16]

Warnings for this part: language, mentions of blood and violence

Minhyuk’s POV 

I stood in the doorway of the living room and stared at the mess in front of me. The furniture was everywhere it shouldn’t have been and it poked me in the wrong places. It irritated me.

“_____!” I angrily called the human’s name.

She is dead when I find her.

I dropped the stupid stuff I had carried there all the way from her place and walked to the door of my room. My eyes were ready to glare the hell out of that nuisance but I was let down when she wasn’t in the room. Though a little surprised, I didn’t think much of it. She was just hiding elsewhere.

I headed towards the next room and opened the door, ready to impale her with my icy glare. Much to my disappointment, she wasn’t in that room either. I was starting to get frustrated and as I approached the next door, I was preparing to yell the living shit out of her.

“I know you-“ I stopped mid-sentence when the third room was empty too.

Now I picked up my space and looked through the remaining rooms a lot quicker. After every opened door that led to an empty room, I grew more anxious.

After checking all the bed rooms I checked the bathroom that I discovered was empty too.

“Fuck,” I hissed.

She had either ran away or someone had kidnapped her.

Who would even want to kidnap someone like her? She’s a pain in the ass.

On the other hand, the fact that the apartment was a mess didn’t support my theory of her running away.

I heard the door open and walked in to the hallway only find the guys there. Their expressions were weird so I furrowed my eyebrows a little more than they already were.

“What’s with the faces?” I asked coldly.

They all eyed me and Kihyun just walked past me with an annoyed face while mumbling to himself. I ignored him since that’s how he often was, and looked at the rest.

“I wonder how you’re going to get yourself out of this mess,” Hyungwon said while passing by.

“You mean _____?” I asked nonchalantly and turned around to look at him.

He stopped and turned his head to give me a glare. “What else would I be talking about?”

I ignored his annoyance, not giving it much thought.

She ran away, what’s the big deal?

“How do you all know about it though?” I asked and turned back around right in time to see the remaining guys walk past me.

Hyunwoo was the only one who cared about my question enough to stop and turn.

“Did you run into her?”

He frowned. “Run into? What do you think?”

I shrugged, not understanding why everyone was so pissed off. It wasn’t like their lives were at risk. After all, the only one who was going to die if that dumbass human got herself killed, was me.

“We were informed,” he said, frustrated.

“Yeah? By who?”

“A member of the X Clan,” he spat.

I frowned. “What do they have to do with this?”

Hyunwoo looked slightly surprised and he just stared at me quietly for a bit. “You don’t know?”

“Know what?”

There was a brief silence. “The clan has her,” he said, making me feel weirdly annoyed.

“Cut the bullshit,” I said, sure that he was joking. “Why would they want her? She’s a pain in the ass.”

“They are keeping her hostage,” he continued with a serious tone. “They’re hoping we treasure her, or should I say you, enough to exchange her for Yuna.”

I could hear my own heartbeat. I felt weird, somewhat dizzy. My view was slightly blurry and it was almost like I was dreaming.

“You should really be scared for your life now,” Changkyun stopped next to Hyunwoo.

Slowly the rest gathered there too while I was trying to gather my thoughts.

“Yeah, I think we all should start praying for my life…” I mumbled.

“It’s not like you’ll die for sure,” Jooheon stated and I looked at him. “You’ll just have to run away from the higher-ups. Easy.”

I gave a dry laugh. “Yeah. Except that stupid punishment isn’t the only worrisome factor here.”

Their faces immediately turned confused.

“What does that mean?” Kihyun asked with a confused frown.

I guess it’s time.

I looked at the five in front of me. After glancing at everyone’s faces I let out a sigh and breathed in. “There’s no reason for me to live without her,” letting the words slip out of my mouth made me both annoyed and relieved.

I hadn’t told the others, excluding Hoseok. I had been ashamed.
The silence was suffocating. The stares they were giving me were making me feel like I was being impaled by icy blades.

“Her smile. It’s… enchanting…” I got lost in my thoughts against my will.

And when she’s sad I feel like I should protect her…

Her smile really made my day. There was something very special about it, it was almost like a small sun in my dark life. When she was sad, I felt bad. It hadn’t been exactly easy to accept that she was my soft spot, my weakness. I hated her but deep inside I also… I guess… cared about her.

“_____?” Kihyun’s voice was only a soft sigh and I looked at him, already knowing how terrible I was going to feel when seeing his gaze. “That human is your weakness? A fucking human?!”

I had never seen him so upset. But I guess it was to be expected. His past with humans was more than enough to explain his never-ending hatred for the species.

“Do you think I like it?” I asked him, getting annoyed. “Hoseok’s efforts were the only thing that kept me alive after I found out.”
After I had finally figured it out after six years of following around the obnoxious being that was her, I had seriously considered jumping off the nearest bridge. Nothing made me feel sicker than the thought of her being my only source of real happiness. Hoseok’s continuous efforts to keep me living had paid off as I eventually came to terms with the fact that I would have to go to her if I wanted to be happy.

No one seemed to know what to say. They were deep in thought with the exception of Kihyun who was already on his way out of the apartment. I wasn’t going to stop him and try to explain to him. I didn’t have to. It’s not like I had the right to choose who makes me happy.

“Knowing that girl, she’s already dead,” Changkyun ended the silence that had already gone on for minutes. “She can’t shut up.”

“She might still be alive,” Jooheon mumbled. “Maybe we have a chance.”

“You’re pretty cool about this,” I pointed out. “Seems like it only bothers Kihyun.”

“No, I’m bothered by it,” Jooheon said. “But it isn’t my business who makes you happy. I guess I care about you more than I hate humans.”

I felt somewhat touched by his words and grinned a little.

“I think we should think of a plan,” Hyungwon spoke up and earned nods of agreement from the rest. “Preferably one that doesn’t require us to hand Yuna over to the clan.”


The smell wasn’t what drove you crazy, no, it was the darkness. Not being able to see because of the cloth wrapped around your head made you more anxious than the weird old smell in the space, probably room, you were in.

You had no idea how long you had been conscious but it had felt like a forever. It seemed like no one was in the room with you as there had been no reaction when you had started screaming and trying to break free from the - probably - chair you had been tied to.

It’s not like this is some movie…

You were anxious, annoyed and terrified, all at the same time. The very high possibility of Minhyuk and the others not coming to get you was the reason you were anxious. What made you most annnoyed was the fact that you had no idea where you were. And those two combined were the reason you were terrified. There was no guarantee of you ever going back home and you didn’t know if you could save yourself by running away. For the time being you had no other option than wait.

The fact that the situation seemed so surreal that it made you question if it was even happening, was making you frustrated.

Am I even alive anymore? Is this just some really weird dream? Is this all a hidden camera prank? Maybe it has been like that from the beginning? Maybe this is all just a prank, maybe everything is actually fine?

The sound of footsteps made you stiffen. Your heartbeat became faster and you held your breath to listen.

“Is she conscious?” a woman’s cold voice asked.

It sounded like it came from outside the room you were in.

“No one has cared to check on her,” a man’s voice responded without much emotion.

Seems like they don’t really enjoy my presence… Not that it surprises me.

You gulped right before you heard a door being opened. You were like a statue: lifeless. You didn’t dare to even breathe.

“Time to wake up Sleeping Beauty,” the woman’s voice from earlier spat and you wondered if it would be for the best to just act like you were unconscious.

Before you could decide, the blindfold around your head was pulled off and you opened your eyes immediately.

“Enjoyed your beauty sleep?” the woman asked, giving you a disgusted look.

After your eyes had adjusted to the light, you looked at her closer. It didn’t surprise you that her eyes were the same beautiful shade of blue as Minhyuk’s. Her hair was almost white and her outfit consisted of a leather jacket, a pair of jeans and an old pair of sneakers.

“We’re quite disappointed in your friends for not showing up yet,” she coldly said and crossed her arms while glaring at you. “Seems like you aren’t as important as we thought.”

“It’s not exactly a hard choice if it’s between me and Yuna,” you mumbled even though you were intimidated by her.

“Is that so?” she smirked. “I find that hard to believe considering the amount of effort it took them to protect you and the six other humans.”

“Things are different now,” you said and looked at her while trying to hide how scared you were.

You didn’t even know why you were speaking to her. One wrong choice of word and you’d be dead, you figured. She didn’t seem like one to hesitate.

“You don’t wish to be saved?” she arched an eyebrow, her voice still cold.

“I do. I just don’t really believe it will happen,” you told her with a slightly shaky voice.

She scoffed. You turned your head away. Her icy gaze was starting to bother you.

“Don’t expect to be treated well,” she turned around and walked towards the opened door. “We are fine as long as you’re alive. Nothing else really matters.”

It’s not like I expected anything better.

Everything you saw around you only reminded you of the dream you had had. You were surrounded by a green forest and sunlight was falling to the ground from between the leaves of the tall trees. The silence was creeping you out; there were no birds singing and there were no signs of wind. It seemed like a fake forest.

“She’s the one?” a blue-eyed young girl asked while passing by you and the man who was currently dragging you somewhere.

Her eyes gave you chills, not only because of their unnatural color but also because of the pure hatred in them. She was disgusted.

The man only gave a hum and she snorted. She seemed to be a part of the majority of people who thought the plan wasn’t going to work out.

You were pushed in to a tent of some sort. There you were faced with the woman you had conversed with before, probably on the day before. Her gaze was just as cold as the girl’s from before but they had slightly less hatred in them. She pointed to the corner of the tent where a glass of water and some bread was positioned.

You gave her a hesitant look.

“Not good enough?” she asked with a cold tone and you immediately went over to the food.

The bread was dry but you couldn’t care less. It tasted delicious thanks to your overwhelming hunger. You heard her scoff and glanced at her who was sitting on a chair while looking at you with a contemptuous look. You swallowed the bread in your mouth and mustered up your courage before turning your head to look at her.

“Will I get my head chopped off if I ask a question?” you asked with a barely audible voice.

She just stared at you for a bit with cold eyes. “That was a question just now.”

You turned your head away, too scared to even look at her anymore. You continued eating until you had finished the bread. While eating, you had finished the glass of water.

Almost immediately the man from earlier came back and dragged you out and back in to your room that was in one of the small cottages that had been built there, in the middle of a forest.

You had no clue about what time it was. Maybe it was night, maybe it was morning, who knows. You had been left alone in the dark room for hours already. Hunger and thirst were bugging you and you thought that it had probably been a day or so since you last ate. The situation was slowly starting to drive you crazy, or so you thought.

While sitting in the darkness of the room you thought about how you could get away. You only saw two possibilities; escaping by yourself or waiting for someone to come for you. The former option seemed more likely to happen even though the latter sounded better.

“If they don’t come by today we should just get rid of her,” a male voice spoke outside the room.

You figured it had been around three days since you had been taken there.

“I would have already killed her if it wasn’t for the plan,” another voice growled.

“She’s useless if even Minhyuk doesn’t care about her,” the first voice said.

You felt like someone was holding your heart in their fist, squeezing hard, when you heard the sentence. Although you already knew the blue-blooded guy wasn’t very attached to you, you still hoped for him to come for you. You were scared, cold, hungry and thirsty. Even though you never would have imagined it, you caught yourself missing the warmth of the empty apartment you had been in before being taken.

You hadn’t lost all hope. Even though it might have seemed hopeless, you still thought that someone was going to come for you. And you weren’t going to give up on that thought until the very end. Somehow, maybe with luck, you would survive this experience. After all, you had survived every surreal experience before this one.

The door was opened and two men walked in. You figured they were the ones who had been talking outside the door. You avoided their gazes by hanging your head low. They untied you from the chair and forced you to stand. Just when you were about to get dragged out of the room, there was a yell that made the two let go of you.

“Rebels!” was enough to make them take you back to the chair.

They tied you on the chair and left in a hurry, only barely remembering to lock the door behind them. You were confused.


Your heart skipped a beat when you felt the rope loosen around your wrists when you moved them. Your hands were free and it didn’t take long before you had untied yourself from the chair. The situation made you excited even though the thought of them coming back any second was nerve-racking. You had a chance to escape.

There was a window in the room that had been covered with an old curtain. You pulled the piece of fabric aside quite roughly, causing the whole system to fall down on the floor. The noise it made was loud and you were scared someone might have heard. You hurried to find a way to open the window and when you couldn’t find anything on the window itself, you turned and grabbed the chair.

If this doesn’t work out I’m going to get killed for sure, right?

You took a breath. “Still worth a try…” you whispered faintly before hitting the chair against the window which resulted in the glass shattering.

You got rid of most of the leftover glass on the window frame before throwing the chair aside and climbing out of the window. You were so scared of getting caught that you didn’t even notice the small cuts on your ankles and hands that were caused by the leftover glass.

When you landed on the grass you just stood there for a few seconds. Then you ran. You saw the chance to escape, the very faint light at the end of the tunnel you were trapped in, and you took it. Your legs had never moved so fast before; you were sprinting at inhuman speed. You heard yells behind you but you ignored them, knowing that turning your head even slightly could be a deadly mistake. You didn’t care about your feet - only covered by socks - getting drenched in the profuse vegetation you ran through, you didn’t give it even a thought. The only thing on your mind was that you had to get away from the dozen blue-blooded creatures that were probably already running right behind you.

You had no idea where you should go, it’s not like you had had time to plan your escape. Still, you just kept running. Even though you started to feel like you would die from not being able to breathe, you kept running as fast as you could. There were moments where you almost fell thanks to the wet ground but somehow you always managed to keep your balance. It was like the guy upstairs had given you superpowers for this nightmare.

Despite your blurry vision, you ran. All the odds were against you and your almost completely hopeless escape but you hadn’t been caught by them even after running for what felt like hours. Of course, it hadn’t been that long but as the cold air and wet ground started to have their effect on you, time seemed to slow down. Your steps slowly became slower too and before long you were walking in the never-ending forest, panting heavily. It was quiet, it was almost like no animals lived in there. It seemed like the sun was slowly starting to rise and you wondered how long it had been since you had escaped the camp.

It must have been past midnight…

For the first time during your escape you turned your head back to see if anyone was following you. You could see no movement in the dimply lit forest behind you and it caused a wave of relief in you. You had - hopefully, at least - managed to escape the clan’s hold.

You headed towards the nearest tree and leaned against it, exhausted to death. Your panting was heavy and your throat was hurting. Your feet were aching and the ground felt freezing cold. Your socks had fallen off and you were now barefoot. It didn’t bother you the most though. What was bothering you the most were the small cuts you had gotten from the glass shards while climbing out of the window. They weren’t bleeding - excluding one on your palm and one on your ankle - but they were stinging quite badly.

Every part of your body hurt, especially your feet, and you felt like you were going to collapse on to the ground. Before you could resist, your legs folded themselves and you crouched down while still leaning on the tree. You looked up and saw a glimpse of the sky that was slowly starting to lighten up. Then you looked down at the vegetation around you. There were mostly green plants but you also spotted some flowers. They were just like the ones in your dream except that there were white flowers instead of red ones. You reached your hand towards them but before you could touch them, a drop of blood dropped on one of the white ones. It became red and you let your arm drop down on to your lap.

“So it was my blood…” you whispered.

The sound of footsteps made you stiffen and you got up despite being in pain. You hid behind the tree and waited, scared. The sound stopped after a bit and you leaned to the side slightly to see who it was.

You didn’t recognize the person since there wasn’t much light. The person was standing a little further away.

“______…” a familiar voice called your name, causing you to doubt your ears.

No way.

“______…” it called you again with a tone that gave you a weird feeling and you looked at the person who was still standing still. The voice definitely belonged to that person.

They turned around as if they were looking for something.

You let your body act before thinking and stepped out from your poor hiding spot. The person was still turning around so they didn’t notice you immediately. When they finally did you felt like the time slowed down. You could hear your own heartbeat and breathing. Tears sneakily gathered in your eyes, eventually overflowing.

Even though you couldn’t see very clearly, you could tell who the person was.

“______,” he called your voice with unfamiliar warmth and moved closer. Now you could see his face better.

“You came…” your voice was only a whisper and the extremely painful lump in your throat made you forget about the pain in the rest of your body.

Minhyuk was panting slightly and his eyes were glued on you. They were icy as ever but his expression made him look warmer. It looked like he was relieved to see you alive.

“You came…” you repeated, this time a little louder but your voice cracked towards the end.

He reacted to hearing you voice by coming even closer. Your legs gave in and you dropped to the ground weakly, causing him to run over to you. When he reached you, he dropped down to the ground in front of you and wrapped his arms around you, hugging you warmly.

“Why’d you run away?” he asked, his tone cold yet somewhat apologetic. “We were coming for you. We were already there.”

You were too overwhelmed by emotions to think about what he had just said.

“I was so scared,” you cried, finding comfort in his embrace.

He didn’t answer and just tightened his arms around you.

“I thought you wouldn’t come… That… that I would die there…” you sobbed.

To you it seemed like he didn’t care but he was actually feeling like crying. He held it in though, surprised and annoyed by how strong his feelings were.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “We…” he took a small pause. “I didn’t want to mess this up.”

You couldn’t form words and just cried.

“We have to get you out of here,” he said and let go of you. “Get on my back,” he ordered after turning around.

You obeyed with no complaints. He stood up after you had climbed on and started to walk.

“Thank you,” you whispered while a lone tear rolled down your cheek. “Thank you for coming for me.”

Next part: [Pt.18]

Other parts: [Masterlist]

Lily Evans Wasn’t Perfect

Over the course of the books, the people to whom Harry looks up go from static adults to flawed human beings. Most of the time, there’s a distinct turning point. Dumbledore’s moment comes at the end of book 5, Lupin at the beginning of book 7, James in Snape’s Worst Memory. The James moment was particularly important because James ceased to become a perfect martyr father and became a real person with distinct flaws.

And  it bothered me that Lily was never given such a moment.

It’s natural that other characters would romanticize her, and it’s natural that Harry would romanticize her. But she can’t possibly be perfect.

While I can accept that JKR didn’t have a chance to humanize Lily within the books, it frustrates me that so many people in the fandom portray her as this abstract representation of goodness and motherhood and martyrdom.

I’ve seen fics that delve into each of the Marauder’s motivations and experiences in any number of ways, but Lily often remains as blameless and saint-like as she was in canon. 

If we can give the Giant Squid a love interest, then we can give Lily Evans a complex personality.

But too often in fanon, Lily seems to exist to balance out characters like Snape, James, and Petunia. There’s an almost mathematical logic to it. If James is big-headed, then Lily must be gracious, if Petunia is finicky, Lily must be laid-back. Everything negative in James and Petunia is absorbed and inverted.

This is unfair to characters with whom Lily interacts. Petunia is not a very good person, but is it fair to say that the demise of her relationship with Lily is entirely Petunia’s fault? Things are rarely so one-sided. And painting her as the moral savior of James Potter does both James and Lily a disservice.

Lily was not a saint. She was a teenage girl.

Far too often, I hear people arguing Lily/James vs. Lily/Snape in a way that places supreme importance on the importance of James and Snape, while minimizing Lily’s agency. She becomes this inanimate object to be awarded to the person with the most moral fiber.

But no one–not Snape or James or anyone else–”deserves” Lily as a friend or a romantic partner. She’s a human being, not a Quidditch Cup trophy.

It’s damaging and dangerous to reduce Lily to Harry’s perfect mother or Snape’s object of infatuation. Lily is a flawed individual who chose her own path.  She had insecurities, fears, hang ups, and bad habits.  She had hopes and dreams that didn’t involve the men in her life.

And it’s incredibly unfair to pigeonhole and Mary Sue-ize a flawed nineteen-year-old girl.

Lose Control P/3

Chapter 3

“You know I don’t think you actually thanked me for all of this.”  Natasha said while flicking through a rack of clothes.  Y/N snorted.  

“I’m the one that put myself out there, Nat.  He could have laughed in my face.”  

“Barnes would never laugh in your face.  He’s a great guy, and anyone that’s spent any amount of time around the two of you can see how much he cares about you.”  Natasha paused at a skirt, but dismissed it and continued looking.  “And I’m still waiting!”  Y/N sighed and chuckled.

“Thank you, Natasha.  You’re the best friend a girl could ever wish for.”  She nudged Wanda with her elbow.  “You too, weird-o.”  

“I am not sure I did anything to help with you asking Bucky out on a date.”  Wanda replied with a confused expression.  

“Maybe not, but you’re here helping me pick out a first date outfit!”  Y/N picked up a blouse and held it against her chest.  “I don’t know why I’m making a big deal out of this.  I’ve been on dates before.”  She wrinkled her nose at the shirt and put it back.  The truth was she was nearly paralyzed with nerves.  There had never been anyone like Bucky, and something inside of her told her that there would never be anyone else.  

“You’re allowed to be excited,” Natasha told her with a soft smile.  “I know people have…  Let you down in the past, but don’t let those memories keep you from being happy now.”    

“I feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest like some kind of cartoon. I’ve wanted this for so long it doesn’t feel like it’s real.” Wanda patted her arm reassuringly.

“His thoughts were very loud at breakfast this morning.  I assure you, it is very real.”  Y/N blushed bright red.  

“Um, thanks.” She mumbled.  Neither one of her friends missed the way she grinned and blushed.  Natasha let out a whistle and held up a dress.  

“I found the winner!”

“Oh, Natasha, it is so beautiful.”  Wanda sighed and fingered the soft fabric.  Y/N eyed it warily.  

“I’m not sure Nat, it’s a little…”  She made a vague gesture.  

“Just try it on, please?  If you don’t like it on we’ll find something else.”  She took a deep breath and took the dress into a changing room.  Wanda and Natasha stood outside for several minutes waiting for her to emerge and model for them.  Only silence came from the room.  

“Y/N?  Are you okay?”  Wanda tapped the door.  When there was no response Natasha tried the handle.  

“Come on, sweetie.  It’s fine if you don’t like it.”  The door opened and Y/N stepped out in the dress.  Her eyes were full of tears.  “Hey!  You look fantastic!  What’s wrong?”  Natasha cried in alarm.  Y/N waved her off and shook her head.  

“I’m sorry, there’s nothing wrong.  I just really love it.”  She turned around in front of a mirror, looking at herself from several angles.  “Wow. Okay.  I know the tears are a bit much, but I just can’t believe how good I feel in this.”  Natasha threw an arm over her shoulders and grinned at their reflections.  

“I saw the perfect pair of shoes in the front of the store.”  

“I think I’ll wear those earrings you got me for Christmas,” Y/N said.  “I can’t wait for tonight.”

Bucky was a nervous wreck.  He had changed his clothes four times before dragging Steve into his room for advice.  The blond had taken one look at torn up closet and started to laugh.  It earned him a solid punch in the shoulder.  

“It’s not funny, punk!”

“It’s a little funny, Buck.  Seventy years ago you had more confidence than you knew what to do with, now you’re shaking in your boots over a date.” Bucky scowled at him.  “Alright, sorry.  What’s the problem?”  

“I don’t know what to wear.”  He muttered.  “If you laugh again I’ll kick your ass.” Steve bit the inside of his cheek.  

“I know the restaurant she picked, it isn’t too fancy.  And then it’s just a movie, right?  It’s no big deal.”  Bucky groaned in frustration.  

“It is to me!” He scrubbed his human hand over his face.  “Y/N went shopping with the girls, I overheard them making plans.  She’s gonna look amazing.” Too good for me, he thought to himself.  I should count myself lucky that I got to kiss her once.  

It wasn’t about the clothes, but how could he tell Steve that?  When she had told him that she had feelings for him, he had been so happy.  Bucky was sure he started to fall for Y/N from the first moment they met, but never expected for her to return those feelings.  True, she always seemed to like spending time together, but Y/N was nice to everyone.  Then that night happened, that night she inhaled the drug and her body had pressed up against his.  All of his instincts told him there was something wrong, and thank goodness he had listened instead of giving in to how good it felt to have her touch him.  His heart had ached when he found out she was under the influence.  Things may have worked out, but the guilt still lingered.  Just because she had wanted him, she didn’t consent to act on those desires.  She felt guilty because she lost control, he felt guilty because a part of him had liked it.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, Buck. I just meant that you shouldn’t get antsy about something like clothes.”  Steve rubbed the back of his neck.  “I, uh, don’t think I’m the best guy to ask about it though.  Maybe we could ask T-”

“Finish that sentence and I’ll make you eat your shoes.”  Bucky had had enough of Tony Stark’s mocking to last his incredibly long lifetime, there was no way in hell he would give him more ammunition.  Steve sighed.  

“Okay, then we wing it.  I’m gonna say, less than a tux, but more than your regular duds.”  Bucky let his breath out, feeling more at ease with his best friend helping him.  

The relief didn’t last long.  Somehow the time for the date came quicker than he was prepared for.  Bucky insisted that he ‘pick her up’ from her rooms to make it feel more like two people going out for a romantic dinner and less like two buddies grabbing a bite to eat. Cursing the anxiety churning in his stomach, for god’s sake he was The Winter Solider, he rapped his knuckles against her door harder than he intended to.  Y/N answered almost immediately.  

“I’m so glad you’re on time, I was in here completely freaking out.” She said with a breathy laugh.  Bucky stared at her with wide eyes.  

“Wow, you look really…Wow.”  He said.  She giggled and did a slow turn. The dress was a deep ruby red, hugging all of her soft curves in a way that had a lump forming in Bucky’s throat.  The neck line dipped in a V and the skirt ended at her knees, showing off more of her skin then he was used to seeing, except of course for that night she was drugged, and left him hoping to see more in the near future.  

“Thanks, Bucky,” she replied shyly, reaching out and running her palm over his arm.  “You look really handsome.” In the end, he had settled on all black.  It was the dominant color of his wardrobe and what he was most comfortable in.  

“I got nothin’ on you, Doll.”  He told her, and the resulting blush that stained her cheeks gave him a small boost of confidence.  Maybe he hadn’t lost all of his charm. “Should we get going?”  He asked and offered his arm.  Y/N grabbed a small clutch and shut her door before slipping her arm into his.  

“I think you’re going to like the restaurant.  They have great food, but it’s a small, family owned place.  I thought you’d be more comfortable somewhere that wouldn’t be super crowded.”  They took the elevator down the ground floor and stepped out into the cool evening air.  “It’s not really far, and it’s close to the theater, if you don’t mind the walk?”  She smiled up at him.  

“I don’t mind at all.”  He replied.  

Just as she said, it was a short walk, only a few blocks away.  The restaurant was tucked in between a drug store and a florist.  There were few people already inside, but not so many that Bucky was uneasy.  He went to open the door for her before she stopped him.

“What-?” Y/N went up on her tip toes and gave him a gentle kiss.  Bucky grinned.  “What was that for?”  

“I just wanted to.  And you seemed like you were a little tense.”  He cupped her cheek and leaned down to kiss her again.  

“I feel much better now.”  

During dinner, Bucky relaxed into their companionship.  Y/N told him about her recent work in the lab with Dr. Banner, glossing over the more awkward details, like few side effects she could remember.  He loved listening to her, even if he didn’t quite understand everything she was talking about.  

“I’m sorry, I just keep going on about work.”  Y/N laughed and pushed her plate aside.  “I haven’t gone on a date in so long, I guess I forgot how to not talk shop.”  

“I like hearing about your work.  A lot of it’s over my head, but I don’t mind.”  A waitress appeared at his elbow to clear away their plates.  

“Any coffee or dessert tonight, folks?”  She asked.  Bucky looked at Y/N.  

“I couldn’t even finish my entree.”  She said with a shrug.  “But you go ahead, Buck.”  He shook his head.  

“No thank you, just the check.”

There was a little disagreement over who would pay; Y/N insisting that she had asked him out, Bucky torn between his 1940s manners and not wanting to offend her independence.  He compromised and left a generous tip.  

On the short walk to the theater, Y/N told him a little bit about the movie.  He took her hand, loving the way their fingers laced together.  When they got to the theater, handed over their tickets, and found seats, his arm went around her shoulders and she leaned against him like they had done it a thousand times.  During the film, she shocked him by reaching over and taking his metal hand into hers, stroking her thumb over his knuckles.  A warmth spread through his chest, watching her touch what he considered a deadly weapon in such a tender way.  Bucky was never comfortable with his arm, always aware of where it came from and what he had used it to do.  The fact that Y/N didn’t shy away from it, treated it like it was just a normal part of his body was his own personal miracle.  

After the movie they filed out of the theater slowly behind the rest of the crowd.  She talked about all her favorite parts, filled with happiness that Bucky seemed to really enjoy it.  Out on the street she did a little twirl with a laugh.  

“When I was little I wanted to learn how to tap dance like Debbie Reynolds so badly, but my family just didn’t have the money for lessons.” Bucky took her hand and pulled her into his arms, swaying gently.  

“I’d love to dance with you sometime.”  She smiled.

“Not many places to do that kind of dancing these days.  People tend to grind on each other in clubs instead.”

“Maybe we can just dance on our own.”  He said, tucking her hair behind her ear.  “Y/N…  I have to tell you something.”  She looked up at him, her brow furrowed in apprehension.

“What is it, Bucky?”

“You know how you told me that you were pretty sure you were in love with me?”  Y/N bit her lip and nodded.  “I-I…  I’m pretty sure I love you too.”  She slipped her hand behind his neck and pulled him down for a kiss.  Her tongue ran over this bottom lip, the feeling sending a jolt down his spine.  His hands slid down her back, hers up his chest.  They both seemed to remember that they were still standing out on a New York City street at the same and pulled apart.  Bucky rested his forehead against hers, willing his heart to slow down.  

“Take me home, Bucky.”  She murmured.  He took a step back, afraid he had crossed a line.  She laughed softly and fingered the buttons of his shirt. “I’m not ready to say goodnight just yet.” Her eyes held a number of tempting promises. Hoping to make the trip back to the tower shorter, Bucky stepped up to the curb and lifted a hand to hail a cab, his other was holding fast to Y/N.  

Fast Food

Do NOT tell me people who work in fast food and make a fucking mistake don’t deserve money. Do NOT tell me fast food is an easy job. 

When people are threatening to slit your throat because you’ve accidentally given them a sandwich with cheese on it it’s frustrating. 


Do NOT look at me and tell me because I’ve messed up I don’t deserve money to afford to live, hell I don’t even deserve to live. 


The Night After

Pairing: Remus x Reader

Warnings: Dark themes

A/N: Gif not mine. This is a reader insert but the gif of Tonks and Remus was so cute and very similar to what I pictured for this story. This story is based loosely on a dream I had. The story is set during the morning, the title refers to Remus’ state and hardships. Enjoy!

*Posting on mobile, will fix later

You heard the door open and shut quietly again, then the clinking of keys as they were placed on the table. These were the telltale signs that he was home.

You had tossed and turned all night. You knew he hated you not getting any sleep. Even if you wanted to, sleep would never come.

Even after years of this going on, you could never sleep right.

You sat up on the side of the bed. Your head was heavy, ligaments weighed down and eyes burned and ached to stay closed. Despite sleep evading you all night and evading you still.

You heard the kettle in the kitchen began to boil. With a grunt, you forced your leaded legs to carry you through the house.

You stopped in the doorway, watching silently. Never did the scene before you ever get easier to witness. He was a mess to say the least.

He hadn’t noticed you standing there and continued his routine; placing two pieces of toast into the toaster, and spreading peanut butter onto them minutes later.

Going back to the kettle and pouring the hot water into a cup, he placed in the teabag and finally added milk and two sugars.

You walked slowly towards him, the creaky wooden flooring giving away your position. He turned to you and forced a smile, “I hope I didn’t wake you. Did you sleep alright?” His eyes suddenly scrunched, “You look awful.”

“Me? What about you? Remus look at you?” You said shakily expelling all the air from your lungs.

You put both of your hands gently on either side of his cheeks. Your fingers ghosting over a deep crimson line. He flinched.

He grabbed your hands and held them in his, “I’m fine, (y/n), really.” He pleaded. He walked past you and picked up a piece of toast and took a huge bite.

He was evading the situation as always. “You haven’t slept again, have you?” He said. “Here, eat, you’ll feel better.”

You stared still looking over every new wound marred with scars of old. You were snapped out of your reservoir the moment your stomach grumbled.

You took the piece of toast from his hand and began eating it. You both munched in silence for a short period. “Coffee?” Remus asked once he finished his piece of toast.

The grogginess cloud hazed your mind since the moment you got out of bed. You knew it was a good idea to agree. “Yes, please.”

Every time he moved, a new mark would show. You were stunned, only being able to watch, not even being able to make coherent thoughts.

“Here,” he handed you the coffee, smiling forcefully once again - it was then you noticed his eyes drooping.

“You haven’t slept either.” You said pointedly.

He leant casually on the kitchen counter, “No, not exactly. I had to run well into the countryside miles away from any village. It’s a lot easier running on four legs then it is two.” He laughed softly but you couldn’t bring yourself to evade the seriousness of this.

Sternly you put forward, “You’ve been gone two days, Remus.”

He went to say something but closed his mouth.

He took his time mulling over thoughts before settling, “It was probably 3 times longer in the state I woke up in to make it back here.”

After half of your coffee was gone and your face soaking in the golden rays slipping through the blinds did you begin to feel more normal.

Your alertness now in tact, your thoughts clear, your head no longer fogged.

“You need something more than one piece of toast to eat.” You moved to the stove and grabbed ingredients to cook a more hearty breakfast.

“I’m fine (y/n), really, you don’t have to.” The look you gave him was severe. He swallowed hard and realised there was no point arguing.

When you had placed the food on a plate and handed it to him did Remus look into your eyes.

His stubborn demeanour began fading ever slightly more. Submission swam in his green eyes.

He was no longer putting up a fight.

“I think you should take the job at Hogwarts.” You stated finally. Sliding him a spare piece of paper to him.

“Really?” He cocked his eyebrow. Remus had been putting of responding to Dumbledore’s request for the Defence Against the Dark Arts position.

He was under a stubborn position of thinking you were both doing just fine.

“Yes, Remus. What else can we do? We need the money and besides Dumbledore promised wolfsbane potion every month. You wouldn’t have to go through this painful process and self-mutilation. I hate what it’s doing to you!”

“We’re doing ok. I’m ok, Love.” Remus stared into you watering eyes and realised he could no longer keep lying to himself, not when it hurt you.

“Remus, I love you and it’s so hard for me to see you like this every month.” You held out his hand, showing him his knuckles covered in dried blood. He knew instantly what you meant.

After all it wasn’t the first time he had punched presumably a tree or something in close proximity out of sheer pain during transformation.

You looked back to his face, gently cupping his cheek but retracted slightly when he flinched once more.

“There were no humans so the wolf took out its frustration on, well, me,” Remus explained with a small sad smile. He was glad no one got hurt because of him but he knew better than anyone the unpleasantness of transformation.

With a look of sorrow amounting in Remus’ eyes, he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’ll send him an owl tomorrow.” Placing his hands on your waist, and his forehead against yours ever so gently. You felt his breath tickle your face, “I love you, (y/n)”

Your hand reached up to the only part of his face that wasn’t freshly wounded. Your fingers lightly ghosted his ear, you felt pinpricks of his recently shaven hair.

You paid particular attention when you reached a groove, and gently traced an old scar on his ear down the left side of his face and to the tip of his top lip.

Your finger brushing over his lip before you leant in and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

“I know we will be strong, no matter what happens. Never be ashamed of who you are. You are more than a monster, you are a good man, Remus. I love you.”

anonymous asked:

I thought your blog was supposed to be positive

me too and then people sent me hundreds of messages asking me why i wont let men follow, why i wont let straight people follow, things i put in my description and faq, tell me i am transphobic for saying trans men are men and not lesbians and “exclusionary” when i say you cant publicly id as a leabian while in a happy and healthy relationship with a man
i dont actively try to make this blog a hostile place, but when someone wants to talk about my shortcomings or things i could be doing better and they tell me things like “you should let people who id with manhood identify as sapphic” as if i have any impact on whether or not that actually happens despite the fact that uh men cant be sapphic, im going to defend myself
when people accuse me of being bigoted for things that arent actually bigoted i am going to defend myself and my reputation
i do my best to make this blog a positive place and have discussions with my followers when we disagree on things. i am still a human who gets upset when people dont listen to me and frustrated when people refuse to respect the rules i have set up for this blog. i understand that sometimes the discourse can be upsetting to see! if that bothers you then dont feel guilty or bad about unfollowing.
as this blog has gotten more popular, more people than i could ever have imagined see what i post and react to it. instinctually i try to react back, and obviously that doesnt always go well
while the content of this blog bas changed over time, the url hasnt, and i understand why people get upset when they see things on this blog that arent positive. but i do try to do my best to keep this blog positive without ignoring people who want to talk to me about things that might get heated - it would be pretty shitty if i never addressed peoples complaints or comments about my blog. and because of that, negative content does come up here.
that being said, i have considered changing the url to avoid this, but i also dont want to confuse a large part of my followers who will no longer recognize the url if i change it without having to spam everyones dash with announcements of me changing my url
it also doesnt help when i say “im done talking about this thing” and people decide that means they should send me more messages about it but w/e