humans that frustrate me

You wanna know what frustrates me? Young humans are looking up to Supergirl and think that toxic relationships are ok. They think “no is actually if I keep bothering them it will eventually be yes.” They think it is ok to not listen to their partner. They think it’s NORMAL to never be listened to. You know what? I’ve lived this and I never in a million years want this to be “romanticized or glorified” in any sort of media. It is dangerous. It is hurtful. It is abusive. While I love the show, I am starting to wonder what message are they trying to convey. They say it is about empowerment. No, it is only empowering negative behaviors and thoughts that can become self destructive and abusive when taken into the context of real life. This is more than “who gets the girl,” because if this is some contest, strike 2. The show needs to recalibrate and reevaluate what they are portraying to young minds, the most vulnerable minds. Love is bigger than the romance. So, I miss my girl Kara Danvers, the sunshine puppy who is able to love so many. I miss Cat, Lucy, Mgann, Eliza, Livewire, Alex, Maggie, and especially Lena Luthor. Because they have, in their womanly wonder, made this show bigger than the privileged conquest of white male heteronormativity it has sadly warped into. I have faith that Supergirl will rise again, until then we must be strong and fight like the heroes we are and have within us.

Do people not understand how much Stefan hates himself?

To say that Stefan doesn’t love Caroline because he can’t see their future at this very minute (especially while smothered in so much self-loathing, guilt and adjusting to his newfound humanity) frustrates me. It’s been eight years and people still don’t understand his psyche? Were they expecting Stefan to be callously discussing wedding plans and his future from the moment they met eyes again? (That’s Damon’s stitch.) It’s obvious how much he loves Caroline and how relieved he was to see her when she showed up at the police station. It was beautiful really, showing the continued layers to their relationship. They can be lovers and still be friends.

Fast Food

Do NOT tell me people who work in fast food and make a fucking mistake don’t deserve money. Do NOT tell me fast food is an easy job. 

When people are threatening to slit your throat because you’ve accidentally given them a sandwich with cheese on it it’s frustrating. 

MISTAKES HAPPEN. HUMANS ARE MISTAKES.

Do NOT look at me and tell me because I’ve messed up I don’t deserve money to afford to live, hell I don’t even deserve to live. 

DO NOT DEMAND A SERVICE AND THEN DEGRADE THOSE WHO GIVE IT TO YOU.

“My art is not about fooling people. It’s the human attitudes I’m after—fatigue, a bit of frustration, rejection. To me, there is a kind of beauty in all this.”

Duane Hanson, born on this day in 1925. 

[Member Night, August 3, 2016. Photograph © Matthew Carasella Photography]

Lily Evans Wasn’t Perfect

Over the course of the books, the people to whom Harry looks up go from static adults to flawed human beings. Most of the time, there’s a distinct turning point. Dumbledore’s moment comes at the end of book 5, Lupin at the beginning of book 7, James in Snape’s Worst Memory. The James moment was particularly important because James ceased to become a perfect martyr father and became a real person with distinct flaws.

And  it bothered me that Lily was never given such a moment.

It’s natural that other characters would romanticize her, and it’s natural that Harry would romanticize her. But she can’t possibly be perfect.

While I can accept that JKR didn’t have a chance to humanize Lily within the books, it frustrates me that so many people in the fandom portray her as this abstract representation of goodness and motherhood and martyrdom.

I’ve seen fics that delve into each of the Marauder’s motivations and experiences in any number of ways, but Lily often remains as blameless and saint-like as she was in canon. 

If we can give the Giant Squid a love interest, then we can give Lily Evans a complex personality.

But too often in fanon, Lily seems to exist to balance out characters like Snape, James, and Petunia. There’s an almost mathematical logic to it. If James is big-headed, then Lily must be gracious, if Petunia is finicky, Lily must be laid-back. Everything negative in James and Petunia is absorbed and inverted.

This is unfair to characters with whom Lily interacts. Petunia is not a very good person, but is it fair to say that the demise of her relationship with Lily is entirely Petunia’s fault? Things are rarely so one-sided. And painting her as the moral savior of James Potter does both James and Lily a disservice.

Lily was not a saint. She was a teenage girl.

Far too often, I hear people arguing Lily/James vs. Lily/Snape in a way that places supreme importance on the importance of James and Snape, while minimizing Lily’s agency. She becomes this inanimate object to be awarded to the person with the most moral fiber.

But no one–not Snape or James or anyone else–”deserves” Lily as a friend or a romantic partner. She’s a human being, not a Quidditch Cup trophy.

It’s damaging and dangerous to reduce Lily to Harry’s perfect mother or Snape’s object of infatuation. Lily is a flawed individual who chose her own path.  She had insecurities, fears, hang ups, and bad habits.  She had hopes and dreams that didn’t involve the men in her life.

And it’s incredibly unfair to pigeonhole and Mary Sue-ize a flawed nineteen-year-old girl.

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And so to try and keep my mind off thoughts of the surreal other life I experienced that wasn’t my own, I kept running, waiting for some other meta-human threat to rear its ugly head and distract me from the frustration I was feeling…

Confession:  It frustrates me so much that non-human Inquisitors, at the least, can’t say about the Divine ‘this isn’t my religion, I have no place deciding on who the leader of it is.’ Sure, the Inquisitor has been dubbed 'the Herald of Andraste,’ but if it wasn’t their religion in the first place, why would they even care to HAVE an opinion on who gets the fanciest of hats?

My dad is convinced that most of the “drama” that I talk about is because of Tumblr.
Like, no, father. This is not “drama”. This is stuff that actually concerns my future and my well being. Ferguson and Leelah are not “drama”. They are people and movements that matter and should never be forgotten or thrown over your shoulder.

Lord, have mercy. 😍😍😍

(Related note: I’m lowkey always waiting for the day that Daniel Norris comes into Barista Parlor and I make him the best cup of coffee he’s ever had in his entire life and then we get married and ride off into the Smoky Mountains in the van that he also happens to live in.)

Folks seem more interested in martyrs & messiahs than in the humans they’re actually talking about & it frustrates me. Every election in America is about the lesser of two evils, but folks seem to really buy the hype of a perfect candidate & then get mad when that doesn’t manifest. You were never in a position to vote for a perfect candidate. That’s not how democracy even works to be honest. It’s a system of constant (often unpleasant) compromise.