humans after all

harrystacowwe  asked:

Can I have a headcannon for when female reader is PMSing and has cravings, really weird ones, and Penny has to take care of her? Thank you in advance if you do this🌸🎈

Dude…TMI but every time I get one of these asks I start my period???

  • During a situation like this, Penniboi is going to try to distract you from your cravings by using his more dirty side because he himself has a certain craving
  • And as always,Pennywise is going to take you to his lair where you will be forced to stay(out of protection and worry because he’s never seen a human ask for such things)
  • But if you don’t give in or eventually go back to eating/craving, he’s going to think that maybe you aren’t even human after all
  • He’s going to be joking at first but as time goes by he’s going to wonder if anybody else eats things like the ones you do 
  • “If you eat strange things…will  you eat the flesh-” “NO”
  • While you have those cravings, Pennywise won’t really want to bring you any of them at first because he’d rather be a dick and have you struggle making/finding them yourself
  • Eventually he is going to give in and help you with them, laughing at every idea you throw at him
  • Sometimes, he himself is going to try them out because of curiosity and because he thinks its strange as heck
  • If he sees that not eating those cravings gives you horrible pain, he is going to slightly go into a panic and try his best to get all those items for you 
  • While you have those cravings, Penniboi is going to get a bit suspicious and he’s going to sniff you a lot more because of the blood but also because he’s noticed that a woman with child has those cravings
  • When he realizes you’re not pregnant, he’s going to be pretty confused and pretty upset but hey, who’s to say he’s not going to try to get you pregnant? 
  • This is going to egg him on further to feed you all you want, possibly bring you even more than asked for because he wants to both treat you while also “practicing”
  • “(Y/N)?What if I made it so that you could have these cravings for more than a week~” “Fuck off and let me eat”
Broken World: Chapter 5 (Pt. 3)

Historical Account of Ilfeq, Crewman of the Xlnfrag

When the humans went down to the planet surface, I stayed behind. It was the logical thing to do: Even though all of them would go down at some point or another, the majority would have to be on the ship at any point of time. There was a good reason for that, of course. In case we found the planet to our liking, we might have to defend it against the Tarifel. In that case, we could quickly send the Terrans back to the Xlnfrag, thus effectively getting them away from the fighting. On this specific world, that was not necessary, but obviously we had no way of knowing that. Either way, I would be needed where most of the humans were; after all, I was supposed to negotiate in any fights that might be started, and that was just more likely to happen in the place with more humans.

We had been surprised, by the way, by how calm those mammals seemed to be. It appeared as though they were offended by many things, but just didn’t care enough to actually become physical, or at least that’s what we thought at the time. Their commanders had them under strict control, a single barked word was usually enough for them to turn away from any source of provocation, stand up straight, and have all personality, all emotion leave their eyes. We thought they had perfect discipline, in spite of their imperfect genes. As we now know, we were wrong.

But that’s not what I’m supposed to talk about, is it? Alright.

When Captain Grenouille returned from the planet, I was waiting for him in the inner dock. I must admit, I was curious as to how he had reacted to setting foot on the world below. At that time, I already considered him a friend, though I thought it was more of a passing thing, the excitement of a new experience. I remember these times rather fondly, truth be told.

I remember everything about Grenouille rather fondly.

When the ferry landed, I walked up to it to welcome the Frenchman. The ramp lowered down, and the soldiers almost spilled out of it. They seemed relieved to get out of the vessel. I immediately knew why: The stench was almost unbearable. The planet was a warm one, even more so since they had landed in a zone near the equator (standard procedure, of course), and the human system of perspiration is not pleasant for anyone involved. By the time Grenouille walked out, calm, collected, seemingly untouched by the burning smell, I wanted to stop breathing.

He greeted me. “Ilfeq. What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to welcome you, Grenouille.”, I answered as I fell in beside him, walking towards the gate.

He laughed. Human laughter is an odd thing, anyone who ever heard it will tell you so. But that’s just when you hear one human laugh. Because, and I swear to the Prophets in the Sky that I am not making this up, they all laugh differently. Captain Matthew Darling of the Americans, for example, laughed loudly, but measured. Captain Sylber laughed in short bursts, almost restrained. That’s probably for the best, since I once heard him laugh for a longer time, and it was terrifying. Grenouille, however, laughed as if the sound had had to crawl up his throat and fight his teeth in order to escape his mouth. I have rarely heard a sound that guttural.

“That’s really nice, man, but also really unnecessary!”, he said.

I was confused. I had wanted to be nice to him, so I took a break from my duties in order to fetch him. I had not expected him to criticize such behaviour. In a recent talk with Thinker Asilish, I had learned that it was mostly considered normal, even expected, among the humans to be welcomed after a long trip by their friends. I must say, for the sake of honesty, I felt hurt. I felt ashamed.

Grenouille saw that. He had, by then, learned to read our facial expressions and the signals the position of our antennae sent. He asked me why I felt down, a terribly simple way of putting what was going on in my mind into words. When I told him, he stopped walking and grabbed my arm.

“Ilfeq. Buddy. I’m not criticizing you. I am happy to see you. The fact that something is unnecessary does not make it unappreciated to most people, okay?”

I mostly understood that, meaning that I had come to expect that the humans did not always regard the most efficient course of action to be the preferred course of action, even though I still disagreed with that stance. For me, it had been entirely necessary to welcome my friend. The idea that he could have a different view on that had not even crossed my mind. That, obviously, was unsettling. I do, of course, not think to possess perfect objectivity, to be completely rational, and neither did I then. But I realized that my actions had been a waste of time I could have used for work. We are not emotional creatures, not because we don’t have emotions, but because there is never something to get overly emotional about. Friends get assigned to positions on different ships or planets, so we make new friends. It is for the good of the Condederacy, and of the species. So we just don’t care. But many humans are individualists, and they care. I didn’t know that at the time, though (I thought Grenouille was just rare, and I often failed to predict his behaviour). Thinker Asilish told me shortly before the massacre: Most humans do not simply consider each other, and thus any sapient life form, to be parts of society with the purpose to advance the species. Rather, they think that every single person has some amount of meaning on their own. Don’t misunderstand this, please, there were – and are – also humans who think the way we do, about law and order, authority and obedience, and some believed that nothing and no one had meaning and purpose at all, that it was all just useless. The Thinkers loved those humans, they were a well of research material.

Grenouille’s kindness did not manage to calm me at the time, though later I came to terms with my unnecessary actions by realizing that I had, subconsciously, tried to be kind in a human way. But even though I was mildly upset about my inefficiency, I did not mean to show him. So instead, I decided to ask him about the planet, the very thing I came to do in the first place.

“I’m not gonna lie, Ilfeq”, he said (by the way, the fact that the humans found it necessary to point that out all the time was a bit odd to me), “I would have enjoyed myself more without the suit.”

“The atmosphere would kill you over the course of a few minutes, would it not? The chlorine would burn your lungs with every breath, and soon they would cease any activity.”

Grenouille’s face wrinkled into what I had been told was called a frown as he looked at me. “Well, yeah, but that’s not what I… Listen, man, it’s about the way the suit makes it impossible to properly move, and to see. I’d just prefer it if the planet had a less toxic atmosphere so I wouldn’t have to wear the suit.”

I nodded. “Alright”, I said, “I think I know what you’re getting at. This isn’t actually your hope, to have the atmosphere cleaned, it’s more about the idea that the next planet you visit won’t make such precautions necessary, or even that the first planet – this planet – would not have had such a high concentration of chlorine in the first place.”

“Yeah. But it’s still amazing, don’t get me wrong. When I visited Mars, I needed even more precautions, but it was worth it. And so was this. Huxley is beautiful, and if the suit is what it takes to walk there, then so be it.”

I remember being curious about the name. I think I even asked him, and he told me that Captain Daniel Sylber had named the planet that way, and that the soldiers had taken to calling it that as well, but that might be something I inserted into my memories based on information I was told about at another time. Either way, I was glad he liked the planet. New things are special to humans, you see, and seeing them disappointed in something they were all excited about can be downright devastating.

We talked some more as we walked through the corridors. Grenouille wanted to put his suit into the laundry, and he didn’t intend to wait for the Workers making their rounds to collect it. He said it smelled too strongly. It took us a little while until we got there, and I must admit that I don’t remember what it was we talked about at all. But it isn’t important anyway, or at least it isn’t important to you. But for this account, it will be important to mention what happened when we went back. On the way to the human area, where Grenouille wanted to eat and rest, we passed the staircase that led to the cargo hold just as a young man came out of it. I’m pretty sure it was a man. A human, anyway.

“Wait a minute, soldier”, said Grenouille, and even I could see that the human only grudgingly obeyed. “What were you doing down there?”

“Just checking on some stuff, Sir.”

They spoke French with each other, and I was lucky that the translators switched themselves on automatically whenever there was one of their respective pendants nearby, or else I might have missed out on this exchange.

“What do you mean, stuff? Be precise, Private… Kugel.” Grenouille’s eyes narrowed. He was a big man, my friend, and stood about a head higher than the other one. “You’re one of Daniel’s lot, aren’t you?”

“I am a German, yes. Is that a problem?”

“Careful with that tone, Private. That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it. You’re one of his… votaries. Don’t deny it, I’m not an idiot. I’ve seen you. You basically follow him and his adjutant around like a dog.”

The German straightened up. “I will not stand here and be insulted, Sir.”, he said. “If you insist on such behaviour, I will report you!”

“Do that, Private. In the meantime, I will talk to Darling and Graupe about what you have been doing with the cargo. Now scram!”

“Graupe is no longer in charge, Sir.”, grinned the pale-skinned one. “Sylber has been promoted to the rank of Major. He’s in charge now.”

“I told you to piss off, man! Leave!”

When the German had left, Grenouille shook his head. “We’ll have to send someone down there to check if everything is still all right.” Then, wrinkling his face into a frown, he added: “So Daniel’s a major now. Good for him, I suppose.”

“Is Major Sylber a religious figure on Earth?”, I asked. It was a stupid question, of course, and I knew that even then, but I simply couldn’t imagine why else he would have called the young soldier a votary. When I explained myself to Grenouille, he said:

“No, nothing like that. It’s just… He always does this. This is the third time since we met in London that I have been stationed with him, and no matter where he goes, people flock around him. He’s a bit weird, more than just a bit actually, so it’s not easy being his friend, but those people don’t care about him as a friend. He’s a designated war hero, and he’s so damn charismatic! Actually, no, scratch that. He’s just good at what he does, an amazing strategists, a great fighter, a more than capable leader. Sometimes people start following his orders even when they don’t have to. Even when they are not supposed to.”

“I take it you disapprove?”, I asked him.

“I wish Daniel nothing but the best. I have ever since we met, and when we we were assigned for this mission, and I was given a higher rank, I read his file. I still wish him the best in his life. But not for the same reasons,you know?”

“I’m afraid I don’t quite follow, Grenouille.”

He blinked, like he had just snapped out of a day dream (remarkable habit, I must tell you about that another time), and nodded. “Good”, he said. “Those files are classified. I’m not supposed to talk to you about it anyway.”

We went up to his room. His adjutant, a young man by the name of Robin Spierre, had prepared food for Grenouille, but not for me. I had to stop the boy from hurrying to the Item'qar kitchen to get me something, as I wasn’t really hungry anyway. Then, Grenouille did something he had never done before:

“Would you like anything other than water to drink?”, he asked. “I have coffee, tea, and I can probably get you a beer if you like.”

“I don’t know what any of those are”, I reminded him. “Well, except tea, but that’s a pretty wide range of plants. All of them, to be precise.”

“Oh, of course.”, said Grenouille, and off he went to make himself some of that coffee. As he poured water into a machine, he said: “Tea is basically just leaf juice, you know, but some people still prefer it over coffee. Not me, mind you. Coffee, on the other hand,” he opened a box. The stench of poison filled the air. “Coffee is what you get when you grind some coffee beans and then pour boiling water over them.”

“Don’t drink that. It’s spoiled.”, I said, pointing at the box.”

He sniffed a few times. “Smells good to me. Are you sure?”

“Do you seriously not smell that? Does coffee develop caffeine when-” I stopped. As my words were translated, I noticed how similar the two nouns sounded in French. “No.”, I said. “Don’t tell me. You like it, don’t you? You consume caffeine on purpose.”

Grenouille’s face wrinkled again. “Why else would you drink coffee?”

I think I handled myself quite well back then, actually. I didn’t freak out, and I certainly didn’t accuse him of an illegal addiction. Instead I asked: “Are you humans immune to its effects? No, we tested that, you are less immune to all known drugs than we are.”

“True. We like them, the effects.. Why wouldn’t you like being awake longer? It makes work easier.”

“It messes with your brain chemistry. The after effects include a shortening of your lifetime, do they not? Instead of working faster now, you could work longer in your life. We don’t even take it, and we are vastly more immune to it than you are.”

“It doesn’t make us age faster, Ilfeq. It just makes us die a bit earlier when we’re already old anyway.” He hesitated. “You do know that humans are useless when they are old, right? I mean, I know that you guys don’t really have natural deaths anymore, but let me tell you, the way to a death by old age? Not pleasant. Takes decades during which your body gives up on you bit by bit.”

“But you don’t care for your society or your productivity. You’re an individualist. Why shorten your life expectancy by consuming drugs?”

Grenouille laughed. “Man, you’re going to freak out when I tell you about alcohol.”

He was right. This time I did, in fact, freak out.



happy Sehun day everyone~