Human Log #9

Due to how recently humans have gone beyond their own atmosphere and joined the galactic societies, we did not know how to properly house and care for our humans when they arrived. Although this is something we want to avoid in the future, it was a perfect learning opportunity for me. Humans enter a dormant state known as “sleeping” to survive. If they do not enter this state once daily, it can lead to multiple problems. There are a few standards I have observed: Humans require soft materials to nest in, called “blankets”, and cannot sleep in loud or cold environments. Some humans cannot be left alone in poorly lit places due to a condition called “nyctophobia”. I have an update on our human interactions as well. They refuse to tell me what happened in the nutrient storage room, but Human-Jemma and Human-Mila have been showing signs of bonding ever since. The crew and I were afraid that they would not like eachother, so we are excited to see they are cooperating.

-Dr. A

Humans are space pirates.

No but like the human race has defied nature and natural selection at all costs. We’re so stubborn as a race that instead of advancing and evolving out of problems we just decide to destroy the problem.

Thousands of years ago the blind, or partially sighted, would’ve been at a massive disadvantage to surviving in daily life and perhaps wouldn'tve procreated, thus reducing the likely hood of that gene being passed on and more humans with that “defect”.

A human born with the “incorrect” number of limbs wouldn’t have survived and if it did it wouldn’t have been perceived as the best choice for a prospective mate and also may not have reproduced.

Evolution is designed to randomly diversify and the genes that work are passed on, and the ones that don’t, aren’t.

But humans now, with our hugely competitive nature, collectively decided to not have that be a problem.

As much as the disabled still have a long way to go in terms of equal opportunities, if you think about, we’ve actually created a lot. And continue to do so.

Can’t see? Glasses, laser surgery, braille, guide dogs, hearing guides, textured pathways, specially designed crossings

Can’t hear? Hearing aids, implants, subtitles, sign language, visual warnings

Can’t speak? Machines, apps, sign language again, potentially implants, evolving medical technology.

Can’t move? Machines developed just for eye movements, specialised wheelchairs, teams of people to assist your daily life.

As a human race we refuse to leave anyone behind.

For however much we hate each other, and fight each other, and ridicule each other, we love each other so much more.

We refuse to let our own die just because they’re different. There’s no point in killing off those genes that might give us bad eyesight, or developmental problems. We don’t have that need to produce only the best because we now look at our entirety as the best. Each one of us.

So imagine aliens coming along like:

“Human Sarah, why is it that so many of your race are malfunctional? How is it that Human Brian survives, though his ocular receptors are damaged and can only be capable of vision after adding enhancement disks onto the ocular orb?”

“You mean his contacts? Brian is only near-sighted, so contacts can correct that no problem.”

-whispered hush tone- “Human Sarah I do not wish to come across as rude, I’m merely curious, but why should his genes have survived in humans at all. He is clearly not following the rules of”

-flips through clipboard notes-

“survival of the fittest. Shouldn’t humans be without fault?”

“but we love Brian, he’s still a good human. Just his eyes are bad. We can fix that”

Alzec pondered this for a moment, confused.

“fascinating… Humans have corrected imperfect eyesight by scientific means, not evolutionary. This would be a intriguing study”

“we can aid other stuff too”

Alzec becomes visibly excited “oh? You can?”

“Yeah, Jeeves over there has a prosthetic leg”

Jeeves, upon hearing this, at the other side of the observatory lifted his trouser leg to reveal a metal prosthetic pole where his human muscle and flesh should be.

-Alzec falls out of his chair in awe-

What if Humans are the only sentient Predator Species that can and will befriend Prey?

Alien: Don’t you humans eat those land bound winged creatures? The ones that scream all the time and nearly killed my co-worker a few sleep cycles ago?

Human: Oh? This chicken? I could never eat her! She’s so cute! And she has a wonderful personality!

Alien: But… Your species eats them? How can you befriend your food? I don’t understand. How can your species be so intelligent as to have discovered FTL, but remain so childish that you play with your own sustenance?

Human: *is cooing and speaking incomprehensible baby-talk to the chicken while gently rubbing and scritching its feathers*


Aliens and Fireworks

Alien: Despite this being a Level 27-F deathworld, I have had a pleasant time here. Thank you for your persistent invites, Human-Dave. However, I am concerned. There are packs of humans gathering here at this large body of water, but isn’t it time for their circadian rhythms to knock them unconscious?

Dave: *unfolding two chairs* Yeah… But all the alcohol will do the same job soon enough. *reaches into a cooler and takes a beer out as he sits down*

Alien: Um… Are those humans over there supposed to have access to those missiles? They’re not in any uniforms; in fact, they lack the usual amount of clothing humans tend to wear.

Dave: Fireworks, man.

Alien: *as soon as they hear “fire”* Excuse me?


C r a c k l e

C r a c k l e

C r a c k l e

*everyone at the lake begins drunkenly bellowing and chanting “USA” in disturbing unison, and someone falls off the back of a truck*

Alien: So, this is how I die.

Humans are Space Australians

I’ve literally never made a post about this, but I can’t get this idea out of my head and I haven’t seen this anywhere yet.

So in a lot of space/scifi stories, the ship the story is taking place on has a computer that responds to questions and commands with an appropriate verbal response. We can ALL agree humans will packbond with anything that shows any sort of vague semblance of life

How many humans would packbond with the damn computer??

Like say instead of a human joining an alien crew, an alien joins a human crew and the humans have one of the most advanced ship computers in the galaxy. So their computers can give life support stats, damage reports, locations of crew members, and so much more (much like the Star Trek computer).

And this alien(s) is so fancinated because their computers are advanced but not to this level. And the humans on the ship say please and thank you to this inanimate, faceless computer embedded into their ship. The alien(s) think it’s weird but won’t say anything to the humans because they were briefed on the human tendency to packbond with anything.

And then they find out some of the crew members have named the computer as if the human-female computer voice is an actual person. And the alien(s) would be so confused when one day human Casey says, “Janice, please locate insign Garrett for me.” Because, who is Janice?

Anyway I’m not really sure where I was going with this, just popped into my head after watching too much Star Trek and remembering that my parents call their GPS Gladys.

If you want to write this out/add to it, please do! I’d love to see this as a full story!

Edit: I’m loving what y'all are adding on, but I just want to point out that in this, I’m not referencing AIs like Sofia the Robot, Data from Star Trek, or any other humanoid robot you can think of that are designed to exhibit personalities and think for themselves. I’m talking about computer systems like Siri, Cortana, or the computer from Star trek where they don’t have a solid personality they are simply there to provide information. However! Please do not stop adding on! I love seeing what you guys think :)