humanity is balls

Requested by @mikazau

So, the idea he gave me is an Elf Prince Yuri and Otabek’s first meeting. The setting is a masquerade ball that’s attended by representatives of each race (Elves, dwarves, humans, etc.). In this piece, Yuri, the Elf Prince whom everybody knows by name but not by face, wanted to sneak out of the castle (the host is a human lord and the ball takes place at his castle) to maybe explore the castle and see how human city looks like, but unfortunately, he’s spotted by Otabek, a knight working in the castle, who only recognised him as a guest of the ball.

I wasn’t going to add any texts, but ughhh I like the idea and some texts to add to the story isn’t gonna hurt, right??? RIGHT! Jeez, all these fantasy AUs are giving me ideas…

anonymous asked:

you know what? If R is a makeup artist and Jehan is a hair stylist and Bahorel is a fashionista let's go the whole way and make the entire Amis a beauty AU. All of them. Feuilly and Bossuet design, Joly works with colors or fabrics, Courfeyrac... well nobody knows what it is he does... but it's good. Cosette does everything. Eponine does photography. Combeferre and Musichetta can be managers. Enjolras and Marius can model (bc eddie redmayne is gorgeous.)

Courfeyrac is just the Human Stress Ball. Someone will lose all the bobby pins, or lens cap or the agency denied shot with models of color again and Courfeyrac will just come over and be hugged until the person is ready to work again. 

Also yes the Amis working in the modeling industry and fighting for better rights for models and they were a large part of the reason that France passed the BMI requirements for models. Grantaire just sits in the corner like ‘its my job to make beautiful people look even less attainable, yall can’t do shit’.

Somebody said Humans would be the Mad Scientist species to aliens- like, aliens watch Back To The Future, and they see Doc Brown, and they think yes this is a human scientist, they’re all that crazy, these humans do such insane things with science.

I would like to offer an alternative.

Humans are tough. We can shrug off plenty of injuries, and we recover pretty fast from most others. Hell, we find minor injuries amusing (Don’t tell me you’ve never laughed at someone getting hit in the balls).

Humans have a skewed sense of danger. We think baby anything is cute- tigers, lions, alligators, whatever, no matter how scary they grow up to be- and even then there’s people that would happily cuddle up to a grizzly. Even less adventurous humans keep vermin as pets, or snakes, or dogs, that apex predator sub-species we made.

We are fascinated by morbid and scary stuff. We have a whole genre designed to terrify people. Tons of fantasy revolves around deadly monsters, plenty of which involve romance with said monsters. Lots of grim dystopias in sci-fi. Even children’s stories involve grandmothers getting eaten or witches getting cooked in their own oven.

And if you’re on this site, you know all the jokes we make about depression or social anxiety, or joking about wanting to die.

We aren’t the Doc Brown species.

We’re the Addams Family Species.

me : man idk about this Demencia character… I don’t think I might be intrested ://

my gay ass while doodling this : oh honey :)

10

Tumblr, I understand why you have a ten image limit, but it’s annoying as balls. Human gem edits to get out those headcanons. Will do the fusions next, here’s a preview of those with Garnet bc it couldn’t upload her(or Holly Blue but shhh) with the rest


[Aquamarine and Topaz]

[Fusions]

Anime first impressions
  • Naruto: ssSSSSaaAAAsssSSSuuuUUUUkkkKKKeeeEEEE-
  • Fullmetal Alchemist: I'M NOT SHORT FFS-
  • Deadman Wonderland: fun, fun, fun, hOLY SHIT
  • Hetalia: draw a circle this anime is gay af
  • Free!: gaaAAAAAaay
  • Attack on Titan: sie sind das essen und wir sind die holy shit-
  • Lucky Star: weebs
  • K-ON: what's this shit
  • Black Butler: thIrsTy
  • Humanity is Declined: fairies, chocolates and death <33
  • Ouran High School Host Club: kiss kiss fall in debts
  • Sailor Moon: overrated tbh
  • Dragon Ball Z: 👌👌👌
  • Pokemon: I CHOOSE YOU PIKACHU-
  • Persona 4: "let's go find some murderers! Yaaaay!"
  • Cuticle Tantei Inaba: hairy
  • Boku no Pico: a beautiful story about a kid named Pico and his boyfriend (?) and his friends how can you not love this anime
  • Danganronpa: what
  • Future Diary: yUkI yUkI yUkI-
  • Maid-sama: no.
  • Inu x Boku: idek-

In addition to the loveliness that is “Humans are Space Orcs”…

Ball and socket joints and double jointedness. Like…after a particularly grueling mission Human Pamela’s arm is hanging off to the side at a clearly not-normal angle.

All the other aliens on the ship immediately want her in the ship’s ETC but Pamela just…pops it back into place.

“Are human arms supposed to pop out?”

“Nah, but they do sometimes. Hurts like a bitch, no joke.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to see a doctor? We can easily-.”

“No, no! Really. I’ll go in later. Promise. I mean, did you even SEE Xerzes? He lost one of those horn things on his face!”

“Those are…um, aesthetic.”

“Oh, cool.”

Or some other human can just, move their arm both directions or spin their hand -palm down- around their wrist for a parlor trick and the aliens are just…low key silently freaking out in awe that the humans on board just…do this for funsies.