humanity in motion

Submitted by @ meme-spren

Humans have a tendency to perceive the Other as a single unit, instead of seeing them as individuals with their own quirks and differences and disagreements. What if the aliens have the same issue?

What if humanity is the Aggressive Tough Species, but then the aliens run into a non-confrontational cinnamon roll who cried in their room for hours after an encounter with one(1) spider. Are we sure this is a Human, of the hellworld that is Earth, they do not wish to fight that is Not A Human Trait

What if humanity is notorious for their Tone and Body Language and general confusingness, but one day an alien is finally fed up and informs the humans that they are being RIDICULOUS AND OBTUSE AND INFURIATING and one of them just chimes in with ‘I KNOW RIGHT it’s terrible’ (maybe the human is autistic. and the alien’s new favorite because they suck at the incoherent humanspeak just as bad as the alien does. THEY UNDERSTAND.)

What if humanity’s Thing is dancing and the aliens have heard of this exotic art the humans make with their bodies’ motion and they ask their new human crewmember to maybe give them a demonstration of this art? and the human just. nopes. they tried learning to dance once but they kept tripping on their own feet and it was just a huge embarrassment they’d love to give u a demonstration but they actually suck at it

Finally after reading Humans Are Space Orcs posts for weeks, I’ve thought of something applicable. So: you know how humans celebrate bad creative works? I’m not talking popular vs. “high-brow” culture, I’m talking media that is recognized as and is sometimes intentionally created to be sub-standard, campy, or otherwise ridiculous. What if we’re the only species that does that? The only species with the concept of “so bad, it’s good.” Like, while we’re getting together in groups to experience the chainsaw-wielding beauty that is Sharknado, all other species only broadcast and consume the best of what they can create.

And then imagine what would happen when another species is confronted with what they think is human “art.”


T’Dahx’s feelers clicked nervously as the names of humans began rolling up the screen. They very much wanted to make a good impression on Human Laura. She had been so kind to invite them into her home and they had been excited to experience this example of Human “motion pictures.” But T’Dahx had also been expecting…more.

“So?” Human Laura asked, her face contorting into that teeth-bared expression T’Dahx had begun to recognize as joy. “What did you think?”

Oxygen rushed through T’Dahx’s tracheae as they tried to formulate a response. Their wings fluttered.

“The Human Joe Marshall…” they started. “He is both a cop…and a samurai?”

Human Laura had explained that “cop” was a colloquialism for a civil crime-prevention officer and a “samurai” was a member of a warrior caste from the region of Japan.

Human Laura resonated her vocal chords in that odd way that humans did when they were amused.

“Yeah, he is,” she said. “I mean, it’s so stupid, right?”

T’Dahx had been thinking a similar thought several moments earlier, but it did not stop them from recoiling in shock.

“Human Laura!” they said, “You speak so, about your art?”

The two stripes of hair on Human Laura’s brow moved closer to each other, but she did not stop her resonations.

“Art?” she said. “Samurai Cop is not - well, I guess it is art. In a way. But it’s not good art.”

T’Dahx cocked their head, feelers clicking in confusion now.

“I do not understand. Good art?”

“Well, it’s not Shakespeare, or Langston Hughes or anything,” Human Laura said. “They’re quality. Samurai Cop is just kind of terrible.”

“You…intentionally consume subpar art?” T’Dahx asked. “You do not dispose of it?”

Human Laura shook her head.

“Oh, hell no,” she said. “I mean, there’s something glorious about something as ridiculous as Samurai Cop or Plan 9 or Sharknado. They’re so…” she thought for a moment. “Good at being bad.”

T’Dahx stared at their host. “You are saying you preserve art such as this because it…excels at its mediocrity?”

Human Laura nodded. “That’s a good way of putting it.”

“I have never heard of such a thing.” T’Dahx was still confused, but suddenly relieved as well. They would evidently not insult their host by discussing the faults of Samurai Cop. “Fascinating.”

“Want to see the sequel?”

“They made two?”

Humans and Animals are Weird

You probably have seen plenty of Human are Weird/Space Orcs, but what if this weirdness isn’t exclusive to Humans. How about animals? I don’t mean a fox launching like a rocket to land face first on its food and get stuck vertically in snow, but something a bit closer to home

Imagine the crew making a stop on Earth, and most of the beings make the sensible thing and they stay indoors, away from all that Human madness, but there one who decides to “get a tour” as Human Maria put it.

Yo'lan is fascinated by humans, so xe jumped to the chance of experiencing Earth’s public transport with xer Human friend.

The pair make their way to the metro, waiting with all the other small Humans, when two of xer 5 eyes see something that looks out of place. A small gray bird is on the platform, seemingly unafraid of the much larger Humans around it. Yo'lan looks around, but no Human seems to think there’s anything unusual about it so Yo'lan simply watches.

Yo'lan still remains quiet when a big furred creature makes its way next to the bird and sits down, looking towards the metro tracks.

A few moments later the metro finally arrives and the two animals stand up to follow a door as it slows down. Yo'lan follows Human Maria and they take two empty seats. Still, Yo'lan keeps three eyes on the two animals as the larger one lays down across two seats, stretching its front paws out, while the bird waddles between two seats, snuggly settling down in the space between seats.

Some humans take out some of recording devices to make a short recording of the animals, but nobody says or do anything about the apparently wild animals.

“Human Maria,” Yo'lan finally breaks, turning towards xer friend. “Why is that dog in the metro?”

“That’s a coyote,” Human Maria looks at the furry creature as the coyote opens its maw wide in a yawn. The smaller human makes the shoulder-lift motion as a smile crosses her face. “Well, he’s obviously tired, maybe he didn’t want to drive back home?”

Later that night, Yo'lan was still trying to process what Maria told xer. Wild species mimicking Human behaviors, something Humans found endearing and common enough to simply take it as part of their everyday lives, but not more than that. Could this be why they allowed so many animal species without an apparent use to continue living alongside them? Could the humans have found a kinship towards these wild creatures that still tried to live like them?

Regardless, such philosophical thoughts could wait for another day. Yo'lan was now busy with the discovery that Humans had literally hundreds of Earth years worth of recordings of animals behaving outside their instincts, and xe intended to absorb as much info as xe could.

Maybe it was not just Humans that are weird, maybe every native of this planet was weird!

————————- 

Think of those street cats and dogs begging for headpats from random strangers, a crow asking a human to open a water bottle, all kind of dogs and cats taking the bus or the metro to visit their owners at work, pets having discussions with their humans, all the pizza rats!

This was very much inspired by a twitter video of a pigeon waiting for the train, walking into the car like it owned the place and then sitting on the space between cars, and also by a gif of a coyote chilling on two seats in the bus.

Excerpts >|< The Singles Collection

EXCERPTS >|< Breathing (1927)

Full GIF set here.

EXCERPTS by OKKULT Motion Pictures: a collection of GIFs excerpted from out-of-copyright/historical/rare/controversial moving images.
A digital curation project for the diffusion of open knowledge.
>|<

Although everybody has a face-book,
all what I can read is:
“We all live crowded in a tight nook”.
Through their selfies,
I can see that
they are selfish.

Here on Giphy.

Original Illustration, by michaldziekan

Check here more about Michal Dziekan. Acid artwork!:

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archiveofourown.org
Where Your Kind Are Kept
Asidian
By Organization for Transformative Works

Fandom: Final Fantasy XV

Warnings: Blood; claustrophobic spaces

Pairings: None

Excerpt:

Don’t you play along, Prompto’s brain warns him. Don’t you even think about it.

But maybe Prompto’s mouth didn’t get the memo, because he says, “Where are we heading, anyway?”

Ardyn smiles, languid and amused. He lifts a finger and points up toward the ceiling, where the pods stand in rows, dull metal set with panels and a single strip of red light. “Where the rest of your kind are kept, of course,” says Ardyn. “You’ll feel right at home.”

At first, Prompto doesn’t understand. Then he turns to get a better look where Ardyn’s pointing, and he feels the blood in his veins turn to ice.

Because there, on the edge of a middle row, one of the pods is sliding open. An MT is stepping out, mechanical steps a jerky imitation of human motion. Behind it, Prompto can see the interior of the pod – a tiny scrap of a closet. Less than a closet: just enough space for one of those things to stand up in.

The shock rushes over him so sharp and sudden that he feels dizzy. “You’re joking,” says Prompto. “Right?”

The physics of the "hardest move" in ballet

In the third act of “Swan Lake”, the Black Swan pulls off a seemingly endless series of turns, bobbing up and down on one pointed foot and spinning around and around and around … thirty-two times. It’s one of the toughest sequences in ballet, and for those thirty seconds or so, she’s like a human top in perpetual motion. 

Those spectacular turns are called fouettés, which means “whipped” in French, describing the dancer’s incredible ability to whip around without stopping. But while we’re marveling at the fouetté, can we unravel its physics? 

The dancer starts the fouetté by pushing off with her foot to generate torque. But the hard part is maintaining the rotation. As she turns, friction between her pointe shoe and the floor, and somewhat between her body and the air, reduces her momentum. So how does she keep turning? Between each turn, the dancer pauses for a split second and faces the audience. Her supporting foot flattens, and then twists as it rises back onto pointe, pushing against the floor to generate a tiny amount of new torque.

At the same time, her arms sweep open to help her keep her balance. The turns are most effective if her center of gravity stays constant, and a skilled dancer will be able to keep her turning axis vertical.

The extended arms and torque-generating foot both help drive the fouetté. But the real secret and the reason you hardly notice the pause is that her other leg never stops moving. During her momentary pause, the dancer’s elevated leg straightens and moves from the front to the side, before it folds back into her knee.

By staying in motion, that leg is storing some of the momentum of the turn. When the leg comes back in towards the body, that stored momentum gets transferred back to the dancer’s body, propelling her around as she rises back onto pointe.

As the ballerina extends and retracts her leg with each turn, momentum travels back and forth between leg and body, keeping her in motion. 

In Tchaikovsky’s ballet, the Black Swan is a sorceress, and her 32 captivating fouettés do seem almost supernatural. But it’s not magic that makes them possible. It’s physics.

From the TED-Ed Lesson The physics of the “hardest move” in ballet - Arleen Sugano 

Animation by Dancing Line Productions

Humans are weird: Our love for fictional characters

I’m not sure if anyone has done this yet but I just realized how weird it must look for us to celebrate fictional characters birthdays. Like we draw art, we write fanfics, but how would that look like for other creatures who have a really define line between reality and fiction?

L'sorbl was convince that xhe had seen everything, apparently xhe was wrong. Xhe had taken notice that the human Sally was doing a drawing of someone, curious xhe walked over. “What are you drawing there human Sally?” Xhe asked his cranium humming in curiosity. Ghe looked up at him and did the human motion called ‘smiling’. “I’m drawing something for Percy Jackson, its his birthday today.” Ghe said before going back to the drawing. L'sorbl leaned closer and noticed that, yes, it was a drawing with a Happy Birthday banner on it. Xhe recognized the characters from when xhe saw gher draw them the other axel. This confused L'sorbl, “wait aren’t those humans from those books you like?” Xhe asked xhes cranium glowing green in confusion. Human Sally turned back to xhem and smiled again. “Yeah, I just love them so much that I memorized they’re birthdays.” ghe explained turning to face xhem fully. Xhe blinked xhes five eyes completely focuses on gher. “But they’re fictional… Why bother doing this?” Xhe asked pointing a crooked finger at the drawing. Human Sally then laughed holding gher sides before calming down. “Because its fun!” Ghe said before going back to gher drawing. L'sorbl is going to have to update the manual again. Fhey should keep an eye or two on the humans, should fhey not forget what’s fiction and what’s reality.

Road

Sometimes you choose what to write about; sometimes it chooses you. A recent issue of Sports Illustrated featured a fascinating article by Susanna Schrobsdorff about the Rallye Aïcha des Gazelles du Maroc, an all-female, off-road rally that’s held every year in the Moroccan desert. Women compete in teams of two, driving 4x4s, trucks, crossovers, quad bikes, or motorbikes. It’s not about speed: they have to get from checkpoint to checkpoint using only a map and a compass, and the winners are those who travel the fewest kilometers—that is, those who navigate best. So I was thinking about why someone might want to do this… and then I noticed that Schrobsdorff had written that the mechanics who travel along as part of the rally’s huge retinue of support personnel are all men. And I thought, Well, this certainly won’t do. My disclaimer here is that I did a lot of reading about the rally, but I’m sure I’ve got tons of details wrong. Also my French is about as bad as my other non-English languages. Anyway, this piece is proceeding kind of like Pilot, in that something seems to want to be said, but I’m not quite managing to say it.

Road 

Myka drinks from her late-afternoon-lukewarm water bottle and wishes she were asleep. Being the only woman among a fraternity of men who think they know more than she does is always exhausting. Being the only woman on a forty-person team of mechanics that’s supporting a nine-day, all-woman off-road rally in the Moroccan desert? There’s probably a word for how much heavier that is, but Myka doesn’t know it. It’s only three days in, and she’s slipping into a very familiar trough of wondering why she ever said she’d do this again, the parched back of her mind cursing the name of the Army buddy who first got her this gig six years ago.

Keep reading

Humans are weird: Culture/Karaoke

Kareoke culture (at least american karaoke cilture) is so frickin weird .

Imagine the Humans on board decide to find an interstellar karaoke place on one of the new human settlements. Xernfes the human caretaker decides to tag along to see what this “Karaoke” thing is. Human Stacy has assured him it’ll be fun and that the caretaker will learn all about early culture from a certain region. Xernfes assumes it’s a feast or museum of some sort. He slithers in and is immediately concerned by the flashing lights and noise. The human manual said something about flashing lights being bad, right? None of the Humans are concerned so he makes a mental note about it for later. They get their room and start looking through the books. Human Stacy immediately starts typing numbers. They don’t starts playing and everyone immediately cheers. Xernfes has no fucking idea what’s going on. Suddenly everyone is just screeching “TAKE ON MEtakeonme, TAKE ME ONNNNNtakeonme I’LL be gone, in a day or,,, TWOOOOOOOOO” everyone knows the song and sings in their worst possible voice. Xernfes has no idea what this has to do with culture. What made them evolve to know every word? Is this a religion? They play all the classics, kung fu fighting, sweet caroline, we will rock you, etc. And by now this poor researcher has no idea what’s going on its all so confusing. The songs are so… dumb and yet they’re all singing them word for word. It’s getting late so they decide to do one last song. The YMCA. “YOUNG MAN” Human Stacy screams into the microphone. Everyone stands up. Xernfes is so confused are they leaving I thought we were singing? The Humans start doing the YMCA motions and he thinks they’re having a seizure or doing code or anything. He’s never seen such unison!

I don’t know how to explain this better but karaoke culture man