People don’t look at you and see your body. They don’t measure the space between your thighs or the width around your stomach. That doesn’t happen. People see your pretty smile and your soft hair and your cheeks red from the cold and your eyes. They hear your laugh and your sentences and your jokes and your ideas. There is so much more than this tiny human vessel you were given. Your legs can walk and your brain can think and your hands can feel. You could walk anywhere. You could cut all your hair off and wear dark lipstick. You could kiss strangers. The possibilities are endless and you were given this life, this opportunity, to explore and to create and to love and be loved back.
You are not your body. You are the songs you sing and the friends you make and the words you write and the places you go. I believe in you. I really do. You are going to do something so great in this world. You can share ideas and teach so many people. Please take care of yourself. Give your body fuel so it can think and smile and be healthy. Please.
your parents come knocking on your door at midnight asking why your light is still on. it isn’t on; you’re just glowing too brightly to be seen.
walking in the woods with a friend. the trees seem to be whispering your name. they reach out with broken, knobbed branches to snag your shoulder. you ask your friend if they hear the voices too. they just shrug and keep walking, silent.
you feel beady eyes following you wherever you go. you are inside. there is nothing around you.
there are pulses of energy coming from somewhere you cannot name. your soul strains towards it, singing.
people tell you that you are frightening, that strange shadows come from you. they speak about you in hushed whispers when you pass by. deep down, under your mortal flesh, you know they are right.
sometimes you don’t know if you love animals, or animals love you. all you know is that one day, they started talking.
one day you wake up and you can no longer see your human vessel. all you see is blackness where you once were. no one else seems to think you are different.
clouds glow just for you. sometimes you see things in them. no one understands, but that’s okay. you can talk to the clouds by yourself.
Maybe John's Partially Screwed Up Because of Michael
So, I’m rewatching the Song Remains the Same for a different meta I’m working on right now, and I sort of had a thought.
Okay, so yes, there are a lot of things that made John Winchester the man he became, I talked a lot about that when I did a meta on his relationship with Dean (x), but we all aren’t quite sure when he began his sad spiral down to drunkarddom and abuse.
I think I have an idea of what might have pushed him to start that leap. It’s not the only reason why John became the man we know him as, but I think this event was a decent catalyst for John becoming so different compared to what he was in the past.
I think John taking Michael in messed him up. You know what Cas said about how Michael would basically fry Dean’s brains out? Dean’s Michael’s perfect vessel. If Dean would be in such a horrid state, then what would happen to an imperfect vessel like John?
We’ve seen what happened to Raphael’s old vessel in Free to Be You and Me, we know what happened partially to Sam when he was stuck in the pit with good ol’ Luci in his head–what do you think happened to Past!John? Who couldn’t remember the experience because all things related to his children were zapped out of his head by Michael? And how would that memory wipe affect him and Mary? How can John cope with something that he doesn’t even remember but probably feels in every cell of his being?
Again, I shall stress that this is not what I think is John’s main issue. What he became came from a variety of smaller issues and bigger issues that broke the goodness in his heart, or at least, most of the goodness. I’m just saying that if having Cas inside you, even as a perfect vessel, is like being strapped to a comet for Jimmy,
What does that mean for John to have Michael in him, an imperfect vessel for an Archangel?
this is, of course, pre-force-fallen gadreel, with multiple bounds and such. i liked the thought of extra precaution on the trueforms in the cells, because it’s pretty easy to consider that he didn’t have a human vessel when he was locked up. anyway, you also see some light binding that i have actually thought about in the past and used on this gabriel piece! he has the heads of an albino deer and fox–simple animals that are both often misconstrued, but very resilient! (much like gadreel in heaven!) he’s about the same size as cas, i’d say.