human predator

@uterus-butch-queef

Uh, my hat is like a shark’s fin

[1] - Deepest, bluest, my hat is like a shark’s fin

[Repeat 1 (5x)]

Manmade terror
Hungry jaws of death
Y'all don’t cross my depths
I’ll pause your breaths
I cause you to sink down forty thousand leagues
Bleeding to death with no arms and short sleeves
My world’s deep blue
Killers gotta eat too
Looking for human flesh to rip my teeth through
Other fish in the sea but Barracudas ain’t equal
To a half human predator created by a needle
Jet black eyes baby they stare while you sleep
When your Titanic sinks I’m the one you gon’ meet
Hearing terrified screams they surround my team
All you see is trails of blood
Even God won’t intervene
Nightmares of darkness
My apetite is heartless
Even if we related, you eliminated regardless
In the deep blue, underwater walls
Half man, half shark
My jaws don’t fall

[Repeat 1 (8x)]

Our Father who art in Heaven
Hallowed be Thy name
Killers sworn to beast
Swallowed them in flames
They switched my DNA
Trip me into Cool J
I can’t fight the feeling
I’m born to kill prey
To survive an attack
There’s only one way
Battle to the death
That’s how sharks play
Weapons left behind
We dueling with the mind
You blind, crippled, or crazy
You’re real easy to find
Struggling to flow with hemorrhages in your throat
Getting the lap dance while I smash through your boat
Eat your whole fam
Nothing left but a right hand
Clinging to a rail
Escape, attempts fail
You’ll never make it home
Tear the flesh off your bone
Walking in undercurrents is a dangerous zone
I’m talking death out a moment’s notice
You wasn’t focused
Me and my crew strike
Like some underwater locusts

[Repeat 1 (8x)]

Uh, uh take it deeper
Uh, uh take it deeper
Uh, uh take it deeper
Uh, uh take it deeper

These waters are waist level
The hallway’s flooded
Lost your scuba gear
The killer’s cold-blooded
His name’s LL
You don’t really want it
I ate your ancestors
The ocean is haunted
I’m closing in cause I’m supposed to win
How the cold steel feel when it froze your chin
Should of stayed on dry land
Stroke while you can
Cause now you under pressure in the land of the damned
Abandoned pirate ships
Eels and sod scum
Fish that glow in the dark
The Titanic’s hub
Underwater storms
You’re blood is so warm
You’re life vest is off
And that turns me on
Killer for centuries
The Gotti of the deep
In the next millennium
I’m still gonna creep
Sand under my belly, ocean over my head
Through the light in the shadows
You become the living dead

[Repeat 1 (12x)]

Yeah, DBS

It’s early in the morning and nobody will probably read this but I just had the greatest ‘humans are space orcs’ idea

Imagine if humans are the only species that experiences impatience.

Think about it. Most prey animals are extremely patient. Ever meet a deer or a rabbit in the woods and hold still to try and out-wait the thing? I can guarantee your brain starts sending bored bored bored messages very quickly, and your instincts start telling you to give up and find something else to do. Humans can do the patience thing- as evidenced by our endurance hunting methods- but our instincts tell us not to. Correct me if I’m wrong, but this feels like a predator development. I have the idea that if aliens are mostly prey-based, and we’re predator-based, then the aliens will be very patient and we just aren’t.

As an evolutionary development, being impatient can be brilliant. It means that we didn’t sit around and wait for the ice caps to warm up, we knew we didn’t have the technology to survive that level of cold, but we did it anyways. We were trying to send people into the sky and then into space before we had fully figured it all out, simply because we didn’t want to wait and think it out, we wanted SPACE and we wanted it NOW. And personally, I tend to be extremely productive and inventive when I’m feeling impatient. Mechanic is booked for a few days? I’ll figure out how to change my oil and tires and tint my car’s windows myself. Strawberry season is still 4 months away? I’ll get a heat lamp setup and grow them myself. Friends can’t visit and help move furniture for a week? I’ll build a trolley out of some toy cars, tape, a chessboard, and do all the lifting myself.

This impatience is what made us design faster cars, faster computers, faster internet, faster communication, methods of growing food faster, of processing food faster, we’re always looking for the quickest and most efficient thing simply because we are not patient. 

Impatience leads to a type of creativity and persistence that patience just doesn’t have.

Imagine aliens starting to realize this.

“You got to your moon before you had developed LED screens??? You didn’t even have computers that could do basic math?!”
“Well, what else were we gonna do, sit around and wait?”

“Your planes don’t have gravitational control? Don’t you experience discomfort from the acceleration and directional changes?”
“Sure. But we needed to get on the other side of the planet in a decent amount of time.”
“So… what you’re articulating is that you’d rather have physical distress than have to have a long journey?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Human____, our mechanical teams will be on site in several of your earth hours, so we won’t be going anywhere until then.”
“Screw that. Where’s the manual for this thing? I bet I can fix it.”
“But you don’t have any mechanical training.”
“I also don’t feel like sitting around on this rock for ages.”

“You’re back already? I thought your medical representative told you to not be walking on that limb for another of your weeks.”
“Ugh. I just can’t anymore. I’ve got to get up and move and do something, anything.”
“But doesn’t that hurt to walk on?”
“Absolutely.”
“…You would choose pain over waiting?”
“What can I say, I’m not a patient person.”

Like aliens just being baffled that humans would rather work hard or struggle with a problem or even experience pain and discomfort. They, as prey species, are used to just waiting it out. They don’t have the same impatience driving them to get up and go and to fight through things just because they can’t wait any longer.

Bonus: 
Human: Ain’t nobody got time for that!
Alien: Why don’t you have time? Is something scheduled soon?
Human: No, I just don’t feel like wasting time.
Alien: But… it’s not wasted. It’s time well spent. And you do technically have the time to spare for that. If there’s nothing scheduled, then you do ‘got time for that’.
Human: No. No, I don’t. It’s just… no.

It occurs to me that as much as “humans are the scary ones” fits sometimes, if you look at it another way, humans might seem like the absurdly friendly or curious ones.

I mean, who looked at an elephant, gigantic creature thoroughly capable of killing someone if it has to, and thought “I’m gonna ride on that thing!”?

And put a human near any canine predator and there’s a strong chance of said human yelling “PUPPY!” and initiating playful interaction with it.

And what about the people who look at whales, bigger than basically everything else, and decide “I’m gonna swim with our splashy danger friends!”

Heck, for all we know, humans might run into the scariest, toughest aliens out there and say “Heck with it. I’m gonna hug ‘em.”

“Why?!”

“I dunno. I gotta hug 'em.”

And it’s like the first friendly interaction the species has had in forever so suddenly humanity has a bunch of big scary friends.

More Humans are Weird

Because this hash tag is SO FUN and thought-provoking. 

GENDER: 
No one can keep up with humans and gender. There are no easy signs to tell who is what, not clothing, not body morphology, not how they paint themselves or their grooming or vestigal hair. The humans themselves argue about how many genders there are. Eventually they quit trying and refer to all humans as ‘they’. Most humans are fine with that, even compliment them on their support (?) and progressive views (??). A few humans are offended, but are shouted down by their other humans. The other beings of the galaxy officially give up. 

SEX: 
Some humans want to have sex all the time. Others barely can stand to be touched at all, even casually. Some will have sex with their own gender, which does not produce offspring and is confusing to many. Some will have sex only with certain people, some will have sex with anyone. SOME will have sex with other species, occasionally challenging their own safety and everyone else’s. None of this is considered strange. Anyone saying it is strange is again shouted down and shamed into silence. The other beings of the galaxy officially give up. 

CATS: 
Humans adopt small predators as pets and kiss their “widdle faces” and giggle over their clawed toes (???) and fuss and are thrilled when the predators sleep with them (isn’t that UNSAFE? IT IS FULL OF POINTY BITS) and often sport scratches and bite marks inflicted when the animal was ‘playing’. 
“When were these ‘cats’ domesticated?”
“Oh, we never really domesticated them. We just let them move into the house with us. Aren’t they CUUUUUTE? Come here, baby.” -kissy noises-
The other beings of the galaxy again give up. 

RELIGION: 
Wars fought. Millions - probably billions, through history - killed. Crew members huffy with each other. Various holidays celebrated, none of which make sense, some of them celebrating events that are physically impossible and could not have happened. All for something that can’t be proved. 
The other beings of the galaxy would think this was all an elaborate prank if it wasn’t for the body count. 

GERMS: 
Humans get INFECTED and act as if it is a personal affront, and cuss about it. They confine themselves to quarters so they don’t infect the rest of the crew - very kind, in that respect - and otherwise wrap themselves in bedding and bitch about it for three days while doing their work by remote - “It’s fine, just a cold.” followed by horrifying noises they call ‘coughing’ and ‘sneezing’ -  and HOW. HOW DO THEY EVEN. 
The other beings of the galaxy, for whom infection is always life-threatening, boggle from a safe distance. With respirators on. 

ALPHA PREDATOR…? 
They come from a death planet, these naked apes with no armor, no fangs, no speed. They have the ability to conquer the galaxy, if they only agreed with each other long enough that it was their goal. Instead they poke their noses into other death worlds, ‘exploring’, they call it, adopting horrifying creatures and making friends with other predatory beings, brewing poisonous beverages from whatever they can scrounge, which they then drink for fun. The rest of the galaxy is relieved. If humans had an attention span, they would truly be in trouble. 

No one wants to know what a ‘shark’ is. Humans seem to be afraid of them, and if it frightens the humans, the rest of the galaxy is, to a being, terrified. 

I absolutely love all the space australia/ humans are weird/space orcs things going around, so I haven’t been able to stop thinking about stuff like metaphors and idioms and figurative speech. Like, what if those had been purely human concepts?

Human: “He really broke Omar’s heart”

Alien: “What?? Is Omar still alive? Can he be healed? Is it culturally appropriate to seek out revenge?”

Human: “No, no, like… He hurt him badly.”

Alien: “Yes I understand that your cardiovascular system is important.”

- - -

Human: “She’s a real wolf in sheep’s clothing.”

Alien: “What is a wolf?”

Human: “It’s a predator - you know, the one dogs descent from?”

Alien: “… She looks human. How do you know the value of her clothes?”

- - -

Human: “That dickhead stabbed me in the back”

Alien: “MEDIC!!!!”

- - -

Human 1: “Wish me luck!”

Human 2: “Break a leg!”

*Horrified aliens in the background*

another ‘Humans are Weird’ post

so, sorry if someone has mentioned this before, but i saw a post about how humans were apex predators a little while ago, and one of the points it mentioned was that it’s cause humans have such a wide diet you don’t find in a lot of other animals.  plus, we’re pretty poison resistant to things that would hurt/kill most other animals (we’re the only species that is lactose tolerant as the norm, chocolate isn’t poison to us, plus other things that surprised me and i wish i had kept the post :c)

what if most aliens have limited things they can eat?  the Susutians can only eat plant matter of a specific color, or Luttans can only eat certain meats from certain types of insects on their planet.  so, when they come to earth they’re all like ‘on so what do you eat?’ and they’re thrown through a loop at what choices we have!  and they find out that a LOT of the food we eat on the regular is super poisonous to a majority of the known universe!

like, “oh hey, human-steve, thank you for visiting my planet.  we’re about to eat the meal of the tirid sun, will you join us?”

“o yeah cool what’s the apple looking thing on that tree?”

“apple….. oh, you mean the highly poison and deadly Punnadix Fruit? those are a scourge of my peopl- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

“uh….. eating it?  it’s delicious?”

cue an alien having a heart attack, or whatever the equivalent is.  on top of all the other weird shit they’re known for, this makes then rise higher in the list of ‘creatures we are REALLY glad are on our side’.

Humans Are Weird

Ayup, jumping on the bandwagon

So, humans are weirdly aware apex predators with crazy survival instincts (though sometimes we seem like we might not have any)

There’s been talk before about predictive behavior and pattern recognition, but what about the ley lines?

And liminal spaces?

We will swear up and down about not messing with the Fae, have so many stories about things that happen, of those you do not speak of  lest they take it as in invitation

And disassociation?

And gods beware if of what happens when a damn human dissociates while walking in a liminal space, taunting things their alien companions are hissing at in fear and worry; ‘where did you pick up this human, why did you let them off the ship for krellnak’s sake put that back!’

Humans using peripheral vision to dodge incoming attacks and casually throwing an incendiary device over their shoulder into the enemy without looking, grabbing an injured companion and walking (seemingly) calmly to a med clinic.

Humans who sit for hours or weeks alone in their quarters, refusing to give an explanation afterward

Yanking smaller alien partners up with one hand before they step in something unpleasant

Warning about incoming attacks or foreseeing something, their alien friends staring in wonder and confusion because how could they possibly know about that?
Being treated with suspicion at first because of worry about double-crossing spies, human rolling their eyes and explaining yet again about gut feelings, and instincts

Another human pulling aside the commander to explain in whispers about humans who do have abilities, who practice the Craft

Humans explaining about different religions, about those who don’t follow one faith or another, ones who shrug and point at the windows and smile, saying, “Well, we found each other, other life among the stars, who knows what we might find next? Isn’t it exciting?”

Restless humans who pace along the viewscreens, impatiently badgering technicians about how far they’ve gone, where are they going next, how does that work?

Humans who, once they’re on planets, fall to their knees and stay that way for hours, and no, they don’t require a medic, they just want to stay here for a bit.

Humans who are constantly exploring everything, being called up and questioned about their whereabouts, how did they even get there? They shrug, saying they were learning

“Learning what?” Asks the alien leader

A smile, baring teeth that remind them that humans are omnivorous predators. “Everything we can.”

So a lot of ‘Humans are weird/space orcs’ posts always say that humans are 'apex predators’, but really we’re not.

We’re a 2.2 on the food chain (highest is 5). To put that into perspective about a pig or an anchovy. Yeah.

So imagine aliens thinking that well obviously humans must be the apex predators of Earth, after all they’re so advanced, use pursuit as a form of attack and have high pain tolerance etc etc.

But they find out that we aren’t. We literally just said “fuck you food chain” and rose above our standing. Imagine how aliens would react to that.


So a few weeks ago I got interested what made us human apex predators(cuz lets face it we don’t look intimidating). One of the obvious is superior intelligence but that can’t be all. I figured I put a list together for any writer that want to use this information. (these are all google facts so feel free to do your own research or correct me)

Also disclaimer: This post excludes anything that has to do with our above intelligence(like use of weapons) and dexterity thumps, because those are a given. I wanted to concentrate on what else helped us survive in the wild. And this post does not say that the modern human is like this, its about people that still live out in the wilderness or 10 000 years ago.

  • Unique Hunting
    • We humans are persistent hunters, so instead of the typical predator approach by stalking our prey and kill it fast, we let our prey know we are here. We tried to hit it with rocks or spears, if the first strike didn’t kill it, we would just calmly walk after it and try again. This goes on over hours, usually during the hottest time of the day, not giving the poor thing a chance to rest until it’s finally to exhausted to run away. We would literally walk our pray to death. There are other animals that hunt like this(wolves) but we humans are the best at it.
  • Insanely Good Trackers
    • This is tied in with our intelligence but I wanted to give it an extra point. Most animals track by smell, which we don’t. We track foot print and things like fur on branches or broken twigs. Water or rain will wash away a scent but following broken twigs is a bit easier in the rain.
  • Amazing Cardio
    • We can’t out sprint any animal but we can outrun them. Humans are within the top 5 animals that are able to walk/jog/run long distances without needing a break. And we are the only predator in that  list.
  • Incredible Aim (hand eye coordination)
    • Out of all the animals we have by far the best aim. Other species with similar abilities just don’t have the same success rate.
  • Best climbers
    • We are one of the best climbers there are and if you don’t believe me watch a parkour video.
  • We eat everything (and i mean everything)
    • We eat many things that are either unenjoyable for animals or poisonous. Our digestive system is unique and allows us to digest these poisons without a problem. While some of these poisons would be dangerous enough in large doses, it is literally impossible for us to OD on them if we eat them as food. Here’s a list:
      • Chocolate
      • Spicy food (is not deadly just unenjoyable)
      • Milk (Humans are the only animals on earth that are lactose tolerant when we grow into adulthood)
      • Avocado
      • Garlic 
      • Coconut
      • Yeast bread
      • Eggs
      • Grapes/Raisins
      • Onions
  • Super Healing
    • Our flesh wounds stop bleeding relatively fast and heal fast too.We heal so well that a broken bone is considered a relative minor medical issue. A broken bone is a death sentence in the animal kingdom and even for modern days vets its impossible sometime to heal an animal’s broken bone. Not only do our bones heal fast but it grows stronger afterward.
  • Lack of Fur
    • Animals that don’t sweat need to regulate their heat by panting. Humans have much better way at regulating heat: we sweat. Sweating happens parallel to whatever activity we do and allows us to perform these task without needing a break. If you made a dog do sports like a human it would have a heatstroke.

All in all we are a species that can adapt to any sort of environment thanks to these traits. 

Parrot of the Week 6

If you want to be tagged in future updates or if you want to request a species, send me an ask!

Kākāpō

Scientific Name: Strigops habroptilus

Classification: Kingdom: Animalia > Phylum: Chordata > Class: Aves > Order: Psittaciformes >  Family: Strigopidae > Genus: Strigops > Species: habroptilus

Conservation Status: Critically Endangered; there are 153 as of 2016

Other Common Names: Night parrot, owl parrot, tarapo, tarepo

Average Length (wild): 23 – 25 in, 58 – 64 cm

Average Weight (wild): 2 – 9 lb, 0.95 – 4 kg

Originally posted by jesuisbavarde

Average Lifespan: 58 years, but have potential to live into their 90s. Their exact lifespan is unknown. Researchers in the recovery program will know when the kakapo hatched in the recovery effort die of old age, which could be decades from now.

(Above: Historic range; Below: Current range)

Native Range: Used to live from the far north of the North Island to the south of the South Island. Now they are only found on offshore islands that are protected areas without introduced predators. It is not believed that there are any left on the main land of New Zealand, when the recovery program began they were all captured from the Fiordland National Park and brought to protected zones. They currently live on Codfish Island (Whenua Hau), Little Barrier Island (Hauturu ao Toi), and Anchor Island.

Naturalized Range: N/A

Natural Habitat: Formally from sea level to near tops of mountains. They are ground dwellers who live in forest substrate and scrubland.

Flock Size: They are solitary, gathering only to breed

Originally posted by svartvitkatt

Call: Loud screeching “skraark

Breeding: They do not breed every year, as they will only breed when there is enough rimu fruit.

Breeding season starts around December and lasts until April

They engage in “lek” breeding, which is when the males compete for female attention. They are the only parrot species and New Zealand bird species to do this.

The male inflates like a balloon, and then emits a low boom which can be heard from up to 5 km away. This lets any females in the area know that he is ready to mate

After 20 -30 booms, the male emits a high-pitched ‘ching’, which pinpoints his position, allowing females to find him

This booming and chinging can last for 8 hours nonstop every night for 2-3 months during breeding season

(Above: Booming Sketch)

Nesting: The female lays 1-4 eggs. They are similar in size to chicken eggs and will hatch after 30 days. The female raises them by herself, and has to leave the nest at night to search for food. After 10 weeks, the fledglings leave the nest, but may still be fed by their mother for up to 6 months.

Wild Diet: The berries of the Rimu plant (see picture) are their favorite food. They also eat parts of other native plants, including the fruits, seeds, bark, bulbs, leaves, stems, mosses, ferns, fungi, and roots. Species include pink pine, stinkwood, Hall’s totara, and mountain flax. When food species that are important to their diet become abundant, they feed exclusively on it.

    Currently, they are also fed pellets, freeze-dried and frozen fruit, walnuts, and pine conelets by the recovery effort.

Sexually Dimorphic: Yes, the males are larger

Description (wild): The upper side of their body is green with random black, brown, and yellow barring and mottling. Their underparts are a yellow-green and have irregular yellow and brown barring. The face is yellow-brown and the beak is grey and smaller in females. The primary wing feathers are tipped with yellow in males and green and brown in females. The tail is green and brown with yellow and black barring and flecks.

Color Mutations: N/A

Noise Level: Loud

Talking Ability: N/A

Personality: They are nocturnal and solitary and roost on the ground or in trees during the day. When disturbed, they freeze, trying to blend in with their background.

Originally posted by biomorphosis

Behavioral Concerns: They are not equipped to deal with human intrusion and introduced predators, which caused their numbers to decline rapidly. By 1970, there were only 18 males left in Fiordland. In 1977, a small population of both males and females were found.

Health Concerns: Recently there has been an increase in cases of “crusty butt”, which is a viral infection that causes the cloaca to become inflamed, and presents like severe dermatitis. 

It is still unknown what is causing the virus and if it is infectious. There has been one death due to this infection, and treatment, a topical cream, seems to only help some individuals. 

As of now, it is only found on Codfish Island, and has been since 2002. 

It is being taken very seriously and is being closely monitored, with research being done to learn more about it.

Aviculture: N/A

History in Captivity: Some young chicks are raised in captivity as part of a Conservation attempt to save the species. Conservation and recovery of this species has been going one since 1977, when a population of both females and males were found on Stewart Island.

Fun Facts: They are the largest parrot species in the world (by weight) and possibly the oldest living bird!

Originally posted by welcometoyouredoom

Sirocco, a male kakapo born March 23, 1997, was raised in captivity due to a illness that required he be hand raised and quarantined from other kakapo. He now thinks he’s human and is a conservation ambassador for the kakapo. 

He proved that kakapo can swim, after deciding to join one of the rangers’ family who were swimming in the ocean. He jumped off the jetty and paddled around for a bit before going back to shore, completely nonchalant. 

He is also the kakapo who made his species famous after “shagging” Mark Cawardine on the BBC series “Last Chance to See”. 

You can follow him on twitter @Spokesbird

Originally posted by jerkandcry

Tags: @thescorpionqueen

the signs as fairies

Aries: adorns herself in red silk with shimmering wings the color of fire. can be found in environments with fire or heat, like volcanoes. is immune to the heat. can manipulate and create fire and spends her days playing with phoenixes and friends she creates out of burning embers. usually has swirling gold tattoos.

Taurus: a gentle fairy who can be found in forests. she spends her time playing with forest animals and making flower chains. she wears clothes made out of pieces of cloth she finds and always has some type of flower in her hair. her wings are soft as a feather, translucent and give off a golden glow. she can talk to animals, and she attracts them wherever she goes.

Gemini: the ultimate trickster. very petite, with razor sharp blue wings. she almost always wears a hat that covers her dark tresses. she wears a short dress with high boots. she is never without her staff. covered in her trinkets, her staff is her main tool to help her practice voodoo. other fairies come to her for potions and spells, but beware, she will turn on you if it benefits her.

Cancer: can most often be found in water. everything about her is silvery blue, from her skin to her hair to her eyes. she looks like she is made of moonlight. she only comes out at night, to sing songs to the moon. her wings are made of millions of tiny water droplets, but she rarely shows them. she can craft moonlight into beautiful pieces of art.

Leo: if you ever manage to get a glimpse of this fairy, the first thing you’ll notice about her is her hair. her thick red curls spiral out everywhere. considering wings are sacred to this type of fairy, it’s no surprise that hers are extravagant. like the wings of a monarch butterfly, her wings are especially strong, even though they look especially fragile. her clothes are made out of autumn leaves she finds in the woods where she lives. she usually has leaves decorating her hair. her favorite pastime is playing with the butterflies she shares her home with.

Virgo: like Leo, this fairy has wings like a butterfly, but hers are shades of deep blue and rich green. she looks delicate, but will defend her home fiercely. she wears clothes she creates from natural materials, and will typically have flowers in her hair. she spends her days protecting her home from humans and predators alike.

Libra: this dainty fairy spends her time high in the clouds. wears clothes made of pure white feathers and clouds. though she doesn’t have wings, she has a naturally ability to control air, and uses that to her advantage. she is an amazing dancer and spends her time dancing in the clouds to beautiful music only she can hear. 

Scorpio: the rumors surrounding this fairy are plenty. with her swirling black tattoos, dark hair, and leathery, deep purple and blue wings, she intimidates most who venture into her home, which is how she likes it. skilled in the most ancient magic, she spends her days making potions for those willing to pay the price. 

Sagittarius: perhaps the most daring fairy, her favorite pastime is to give humans glimpses of her, but she never shows her face. she only comes out when the leaves are changing colors. she wears a dress spun from pure gold, with a beautiful crown made out of golden feathers. her wings look like feathers but are actually very sharp, and are also gold. her favorite trick is, once you get a glimpse of her, she hides herself among the leaves until you go mad looking for her.

Capricorn: no human has ever gotten a look at this fairy, who is always found in cold environments. cold as ice, she’s as small as the snowflakes she crafts. her crystallized wings are more beautiful than any snowflake, and she wears a dress and jewelry crafted out of pure ice. her silver hair matches the color of her eyes. 

Aquarius: one of the rarest fairies, every part of her is silver, except her fragile, translucent wings. she only comes out during a full moon and is found in quiet, moonlit forests. she wears a dress made out of silvery moonlight. her favorite accessory is a crown made out of moonflowers. 

Pisces: this fairy frequents vast meadows, looking for a flower to make her home in. she makes her beautiful dresses out of stray flower petals she finds. her huge, butterfly-like wings are as big as she is. her most prized possession is her wooden flute, which she can use to call animals to her.

based off of this post

Okay, so I feel like contributing to the Humans Are Weird section and it’s just, humans and predators get along? Like, we have mutual beneficial relationships and companionship with animals that, in theory, we should be fighting with. 

Like, we have cats and dogs as pets, some people have wolves, we see lions and tigers and think they’re cute, hell, zoologists have been raising Big Cats for years, not to mention the stories about people care taking bears. 

And if Jurassic World became a thing, you can bet your ass someone would Chris Pratt a set of pack dinos

So like, imagine that theres a race of aliens who are, by genetic script, predatory, and vicious and every alien system are like “Theres no chance at establishing peace with them, it’s impossible.” But then humans come and we stumble across a wounded one like 

“this species ?? Is adorable ?” And all the other aliens are like 

“No, human Mike, it is a vicious predator! It’s bet to just avoid the quadrant where theyre from and destroy any that come too close.” 

“You want to kill him, but he’s just a wittle cutie!” 

“ … Human Mike, stand back!” And of course the humans rally around it and force the other aliens out and slowly feed/build up trust with the species and we form a bound with them and Aliens are like ???? 

Evetually humans teach the aliens how to respond to the species and while they’re still pretty dangerous if they’re hungry and you shouldn’t turn your back on them, there’s still like, relative trust between the species. 

Ok but imaginary friends (ways humans are weird)

Humans pack bond. We just do. Aliens learn quickly that spending any significant amount of time not being actively antagonistic to a human, they will bond with you.
They bond with other humans. While humans do not necessarily bond with everyone it’s pretty easy to become low-key with others for most people. More serious bonds take more time.
Humans bond with animals capable of bonding with the human. They bring both predator and prey (hopefully not together) into their homes and make them part of the family.
Humans do the same with animals that can’t bond because their brains aren’t wired for it. We don’t care. We love them anyway.
Humans bond with inanimate objects. It’s actively encourage for child to build social skills by practicing on toys. Adults even do it
They name cars, computers, phones, and other things.
All these can be explained and understood relatively easily.
But imaginary friends…the aliens don’t get it. Humans pack bond with things that DO NOT EXIST
they have bonds sometimes closer than those to any of their peer group. Child play with these nonexistent things actively and we don’t find it weird. Adults put out extra place settings at the table for their childrens imaginary friends. They chose a different seat if a child tells them that a clearly empty chair is their imaginary friend’s chair.

speaking of being a massive ecology nerd, guess what season it is, folks! That’s right, it’s FLEDGLING BIRD SEASON here in North America, which means it’s time for an annual reminder that most species of birds have almost no sense of smell. Someone probably told you that if you touch a baby bird, the mother will smell you on it and reject her baby. THAT IS NOT THE CASE. 

Pictured: a young Mourning Dove, after being rescued from the tender mercies of my dog, circa spring 2005. It’s a fledgling! Note how it has most of its feathers, but still looks a bit awkward and scruffy, and, being unable to properly fly, can be caught by an elderly husky or a child. 

  • Hatchlings: IF it is covered in fluffy down (or partly naked) and cannot flutter successfully, it’s a hatchling, and has fallen from its nest prematurely. Look for the nest- if you find it and can reach it, return baby and then gtfo and let the parents return. If you can’t find the nest, or if you find it in pieces on the ground, use a small box lined with dryer lint or dog hair or similar fluff and attach as close as possible to where you found the bird or where you think the nest was. Return baby!!!! 
  • Fledglings: If you spot a young bird covered with feathers on the ground, chances are it’s a fledgling (bird tween, can flutter) who is not doing well in flying 101, but it is probably NOT injured or sick. Hanging out on the ground is part of the learning to fly process! If it looks like it’s in immediate danger (i.e. of being run over, stepped on, or eaten by a cat or dog), the best thing you can do for it is to gently scoop it up and place it in the branches of a nearby tree or shrub, and then LEAVE. The parents are likely nearby, and will return once the coast is clear of humans/predators. If it flutter-hops away from you and you can’t catch it, then don’t worry! It just successfully avoided a predator (you), and therefore can probably continue to do so. 
  • DON’T DON’T DON’T: Try to feed it, bring it into your house or car, or take it to your local vet or animal shelter. 
  • IF it IS actually for-real injured, you can catch it and contact a local wildlife rehabilitation professional (and then listen to whatever they tell you), but keep in mind that they get a LOT of fledgling birds, and those birds have a pretty high mortality rate. They may tell you that there is nothing you or they can do but allow nature to take its course, and that’s hard, but important to hear and respect.

FEEDING! The chambered Nautilus is a mollusk, related to the octopus, squid, clam and snail. A nautilus, along with the cuttlefish, squid, and octopus, are all cephalopods, meaning “head-foot,” so named because the feet (tentacles) are attached to the head.
The nautilus is the only cephalopod that has a fully developed shell for protection. The nautilus has more than 90 suckerless tentacles. Grooves and ridges on the tentacles are used to grip prey and deliver food to a crushing, parrot-like beak. NEWS: This fascinating animal is now on the list of protected species. Quite rightly of course. Of all the squid-species the “Chambered Nautilus” is the only one with a beautiful outer shell. This shell is used for jewelry which is a popular souvenir for tourists. The Nautilus lives at great depth (200 m) but must go to the surface to eat. This makes it extremely vulnerable to its main predator: humans.

So...aliens ye?!!

What if aliens are like really surprised at how supportive and soft and just down right friendly we are to those we consider our allies. And how we can take a whole bunch of bull shit before we actually call the friendship (alliance) off and even then we do it with great reclusiveness.

Ok so like here’s an example. France has been USA’s first and longest ally yeah? And even when France was literally beheading ppl in the streets and shit the USA was all like

“we get the freedom part but not the killing but we still friends so we just gonna hang back shit but we still here when ya need us.”

And even with all the shit France has pulled and all the shit the USA has pulled their still allied (friends). That’s what i mean, us humans are frighteningly loyal when we find someone we can trust and stand beside.

And the Aliens aren’t expecting that because were all a kind of hateful/prideful/“idon'tlikeyoubecuase…” group and were literally always at war so they don’t expect us to know what being friends with others is like or what loyalty means. So when Humans are on there ship there weary at first until they see “designation Human Sam” hug and be friendly and shit to another Human. There astonished. They thought Humans where mindless beasts. And shit like that.

And another thing Pride. They see Humans fight and the one thing that is a constant is Pride. The way that Humans fight is that there’s these unspoken “rules” that each group follows. You don’t bomb churches, children are mostly off limits, stuff like that.

And the Aliens are astonished.

There like, this is war, why do you have rules??!!. And were just like what do you mean it’s inhumane to do this and thats horrible

And yeah.

Also i have another lol sorry. Like, the way where pack animals. Where like wolfs or lions. Each Human has a Pack that they would protect with there life. Some is only family others friends most a mix in between with both.

And we acknowledge this. We know this supposed weakness but we aren’t afraid to broadcast it. And when a curious alien finally asks there Human friend “why is your species being a pack based species not a weakness”

The Human just grins fiercely and says “have you ever seen a pack of wolves hunt? Have ya ever seen a human mother protect her brood? We may be packed based and we may need physical touch to live but that don’t make us weak, it gives us something to live for! It’s easy to die for something, but it’s hard to live for something. When we go to war we don’t think of our lives we think of how pack mates lives, our mothers and sisters and blood brothers. We fight for them and we will win for them even if we have to cut threw the strongest of armies.”

And the Aliens are just like dam son u rigt u rigt my bad

And yeah there ys go

Space orcs Easy To Forget

They forget sometimes that humans are predators it’s easy to do so when they mimic you or startle suddenly. When it’s just one human it’s easy to forget to brush the nagging feeling of THIS IS A PREDATOR to the back of your mind. But sometimes they do something and it comes flying back and it’s so obvious you wonder how you could ever forget. It’s terrifying how easily they blend in how quickly they can get you to drop your guard. Humans are truly terrifying, especially when they try not to be.

Pursuit Predators and Pack Bonding

It’s not that Karaz doesn’t believe in what everyone says about the humans. They do but they don’t think their particular human is capable of all the hype. Their human is stand offish every since being transferred from the other ship. Apparently their human had a pack bond with that ships human they were like ‘sisters’ but the Captain had been assured that they did not in fact share blood. Just human oddities. But they were in need of the humans skills and the Captain put up with the attitude. Maggie as she insisted being called (her file said Margaret but they learned not to argue with her) and she was what her species called a biologist though she helped in the medical bay often. When  Human-Maggie had been transferred to their ship the other Captain had explained that she was studying the wildlife of other planets. Human-Maggie liked to hole up in the laboratory built into the space ship and only left to collect meals. Karaz didn’t think of Human-Maggie as the dangerous creatures humans were. She reminded them of the small domesticated predators with razor feet called cats. Not prone to movement beyond the necessary but intelligent.

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