human jenga

some forgotten adulting tips
  • if you’re running to the grocery store to just pick up one thing, grab a basket anyway. i can’t tell you how many times i’ve gone to pick up some milk and ended up grabbing dish soap and paper towels and deodorant and looked like a human jenga tower by the time i was at the checkout.
  • get yourself some dry shampoo! i don’t care how punctual you are, one day you’re gonna be DEAD tired and you’re gonna hit snooze one too many times and realize you’ve got 5 minutes to get out the door.
  • learn to cook at least a couple of big batch meals and eat it throughout the week. i’m a perpetually exhausted human being and if i need to live off of chili for 4 days, so be it.
PJo & Co. at Hogwarts according to me

Sixth Year

  • Leo makes it to the train first, hastily claiming the car before prowling the train in search of something
  • As everyone else slowly shows up the kids from wizarding families find out about pokemon go
  • “Leo stop pacing the train, the pokemon are on the other side of the platform”
  • “TRY AND STOP ME PERCY”
  • This is how Leo meets the most gorgeous girl he’s ever laid eyes on. Shrieking. Tripping on his own feet. Flailing as he tips backwards. Phone (and pokemon) tumbling to the ground.
  • He (and his phone) are caught by a girl with long blond hair who stares at his shocked face for a minute before dropping him.
  • She kindly sets his phone on his stomach before dramatically flicking her cloak as she heads to her compartment
  • Jason bodily drags Leo into the car after twenty minutes have passed and Leo still hasn’t moved
  • “Has he even blinked yet?” Hazel whispers loudly.
  • They play human jenga in order to fit everyone, but eventually Piper, Annabeth, and Hazel are teaching Frank to play poker over Will’s head, Nico discusses the merits of different Knockturn shops with Percy and Reyna while Jason and Rachel attempt to wake Leo
  • Suddenly someone a few cars down bursts into song
  • “How does a ragtag volunteer army in need of a shower-”
  • Leo wakes up then, just in time to run out of the car and pick up Lafayette’s rap with a really bad french accent
  • Hazel and the others back up the chorus, and when ‘Washington’ finishes Leo desperately asks the person who sang Burr to sing Dear Theodosia with him
  • It’s the girl that dropped him
  • Leo proposes on the spot
  • She smacks him on the head with a newspaper. The pictures laugh.
  • Jason, very unsubtly, says “Hey Leo this is Cali, that girl I was telling you about! You’ve been wanting to meet her for a while now.”
  • Leo’s soul just about steps out of his body in that moment.
  • “It’s Calypso, not Cali. And,” she gives Leo a once over. “No.”
  • Leo’s face is in his hands for the rest of the night. His hair is on fire and nothing can put it out.
  • Hazel starts cheering for random students as they get sorted, and then every first year is getting clapped for as they get placed with their house
  • A first year Gryffindor passes Leo in the hall and catches fire, Jason doesn’t even blink before using a charm to put out the fire
  • Hazel spends ten minutes arguing with the eagle about the answer to a riddle while the first years watch
  • The prefects just kind of nod, like ‘yeah, you can totally do that.’
  • Percy is telling stories to the first years when Nico shows up with a sucker in his mouth.
  • Where did he come from?
  • The first years get to see Will’s face completely light up
  • And then he lays a hand on Nico and his face immediately gets irritated “Why didn’t you tell me you were sick? I told you-”
  • Percy rolls his eyes. “Will is gonna cure cancer. And develop a long-lasting cure for infectious lycanthropy. Possibly create a new-and-improved philosopher’s stone.”
  • the first years are so in awe, and then Nico is sitting in Will’s lap in front of the fire, telling them about the squid in the lake, and randomly signing parts of the story as if he thinks he’s talking to the mermaids
  • By the next morning Leo’s dragged his hands from his face, but now his face is buried in a spellbook and his hands are stained with ink
  • He trips on the stairs, and Calypso catches him again
  • “For the love of god, stop this nonsense”
  • It keeps happening
  • Pokemon Go is so big
  • I mean it doesn’t necessarily detract from classes but yes I did see that kid sprinting down the hall I heard he saw an Arcanine and I almost went after him oh okay you’re running too
  • Frank is a casual player (unlike Percy) but he’s still better than everyone
  • I’m not saying hogwarts is a gym but it’s definitely a gym and the charms are barely enough to keep the kids away but also did you see the level of the gym leader im not brave enough to challenge that guy
  • Leo jumped staircases once because he had been finding pokemon when he realized he was late for class.
  • I mean he jumped staircases because he was late before but now its because of pokemon
  • Leo goddammit just stop jumping stair- okay i guess you’re two floors away now bye.
  • Calypso eventually turns up in Ravenclaw dorm to have a Serious Discussion with Leo in which she pins him to the wall and intimidates him until he can’t even look her in the eyes
  • he stares longingly as she leaves, the edge of his cloak catching fire
  • Frank and Hazel have thE CUTEST FIRST KISS on the astronomy tower at one in the morning under the new moon
  • Will actually swooned when he heard the story (nico you have to catch him if he falls god you’re a terrible boyfriend)
  • Nico showing Will his method of getting around and tugging him along by hand because he’s a fucking nerd
  • Piper just pulls Jason down by his tie one day, kisses him and then stalks out of the great hall with a hair flip she definitely learned by watching Calypso
  • Jason is so lovestruck oh my god
  • Piper is the reason he nearly falls off staircases and the reason it’s only nearly falls
  • Leo strikes a deal with the poptart dealer and makes a coffee machine and they run a business together that the profs just love
  • he still mopes after Calypso and watches her but he hasn’t tried to talk to her since she told him to fuck off
  • Annabeth studies with Percy but suddenly she realizes she’s going to be an architect. For sure. She can get a job as a muggle, or as a wizard and do what she loves
  • Percy couldn’t be more proud
  • As for his own future, he’d be interested in teaching if he can’t make wands. Transfiguration, surprisingly, because he’s gotten a lot better at it than he used to be.
  • Jason gets pretty beat up one day, in a succession of terrible accidents and suddenly he can’t play quidditch anymore
  • Piper doesn’t know what to tell him, how to help him find his dream
  • They spend long hours by the lake together, just watching
  • Grover constantly works with students, talking about his latest projects and how to get species to coexist and he’s really good at it too
  • Percy is concerned that Grover will just drop off the face of the planet one day
  • Hazel studies herbology and astronomy with a fiery passion, wanting nothing more than to just learn for the rest of her life
  • Leo starts improvising spells and his mind works faster than even some of the teachers can track, he combines different spellcasting techniques from around the world to tap into magic.
  • “Magic wasn’t always wands and words and delicate wrist motions, you know. Magic is an energy, and to be perfectly honest even a muggle can do magic. You can’t ignore those facts, and it would be stupid to pretend that magic can’t be done without a wand.”
  • Calypso does take notice of that, and of the small bouquets of fern leaves, gladiolus, and blue salvia left at the foot of her bed every night
  • Frank is sticking with his magizoology, but is going to direct it towards someday being the Care of Magical Creatures professor
  • Frazel is probably the school’s cutest couple (sorry solangelo)
  • Piper and Annabeth get into pokemon go at the same time and oh dear god help us
  • Annabeth quickly masters the art of playing it while doing any other task at the same time
  • Percy goes on long walks with her and they take advantage of the weekly forest campouts to catch pokemon
  • Piper is so busy all the time she’s been using her metamorphagi gift just to pretend she’s clean- also the appeal of using it to make people laugh is budding just a little. She only changes for her friends though, just exercising her gift like she hasn’t in years
  • Will and Hazel bond over herbology, much to the excitement of Nico
  • “I knew you liked him okay but I’m really glad you too are such good friends and-’
  • “Neeks, shut up I love Will”
  • Hazel and Nico still show up in other dormitories even though now they can go snuggle with their boyfriends, just because they love talking to new people and making acquaintances. Well, Hazel does. Nico just tells stories in an unholy mash of sign language, english, italian, and a yet unidentified language he learned somewhere…
  • Percy spends a lot of time stopping Annabeth from breaking rules. He’s not a trouble maker, or when he is it’s not on purpose.
  • He makes these dumb origami things all the time just to keep his hands busy and Annabeth has a small shelf holding all the origami stuff she’s received
  • Percy finds out and blushes so hard he’s just so pleased
  • “You really kept them?” “Of course I did, seaweed brain.”
  • Jason gets glasses this year
  • “Oh my god I didn’t even know I couldn’t see”
  • Piper: *looks into office camera*
  • Leo doesn’t even know how he’s still alive because let’s face it before this year he had a friend to pull him away from certain death but typically they’re traveling in gross couple packs now and he should definitely be dead without them
  • Calypso has taken pity on him and saves him from certain death at least seven times a day. He doesn’t even notice, but she definitely cares about him
  • She starts talking to him, getting to know the nerdy scrawny kid who’s always building things and doing strange magic and has three pencils tucked behind one ear and wears a toolbelt everywhere that is only seen because he doesn’t wear his robe right
  • Leo manages to hold mostly normal conversations but sometimes he just catches fire and then his friends take pity and lead him back to his lab before Calypso’s presence causes him to fully combust
  • Let’s face it Hazel took Alchemy this year too, with Leo and Annabeth
  • “It’s so cool!!”
  • All of them spend so much time studying though oh dear
  • Leo is lucky he’s a genius or he’d have no time to do everything, like making Reyna these sick silver and gold dogs (for free, because they’re friends now!!)
  • Rachel is in divination and oh my god a real seer you guys no like a legit seer
  • Her entire life plans change overnight after she figures that out. Divination prof at hogwarts, and all the time in the world to feel out the future and record prophecies, etc
  • She also becomes famous overnight, with everyone wanting to be around her and touch her and pester her about the future
  • She bonds with Piper because of it. They both know how hard it is for everyone to be watching you all the time, to have everyone begging you to do tricks for them like some sort of animal.
  • This means Reyna and Jason, while already good friends due to being prefects, are even closer. They work together like roman praetors taking command and keeping order.
  • Everyone knows they’ll be head boy and girl next year too.
  • Taking the apparition lessons is cool as hell, and Leo is one of the best students at it
  • They all learned to apparate, and everyone could at least manage it well by the time they finished the lessons
  • Leo and Reyna are pals and oh god Leo why did you give Reyna dogs she’s 6000000000000 times more intimidating oh god run the sound of her name summons her
  • Piper kicks ass at quidditch in her captain’s position and Ravenclaw wins both the quidditch and the house cup
  • Basically the whole year is the whole group being as tired as I am right now hella tired and they still manage to live and do stuff and hang out while still passing their classes but no one knows how Leo is managing to woo a girl (not in their group cough cough)
  • It’s because Calypso is wooing him. She is now reeling him in, because she is in total control and Leo lacks the coordination to work with people.
  • The year ends with them beginning a tentative relationship, saying they’ll see how summer goes
  • Everyone is so excited when the year ends because I Need Sleep
  • They play human jenga again, fitting everyone in even though it’s a really tight space now
  • They all take a long nap, stretched out in impossible ways and hoping to god that they don’t kill themselves in their sleep
  • It’s sweet, and pure
  • Parting ways isn’t sad anymore, they know they can all meet during the summer, and they will meet before the next school year

first year / second year / third year / fourth year / fifth year / seventh year

still thinking about the fluff from last night and here i am, procrastinating reverb by writing senseless cute. not rreally nsfw, but there is nudity. i didn’t edit this soooooo it is what it is. (wiggles fingers)

-

His damn legs are too long and it’s an inconvenience.

Pre-growth spurt, he would’ve had no difficulty whatsoever fitting in their damn bathtub with her. He’d been just shorter than her, and she’s always been so slim – it would have been much easier to play human jenga with her when he was fourteen and not so lanky. Then again, at fourteen, brushing his meister’s damp hair over her pale shoulder to kiss her damp skin had been barely a thought in his mind, only a fever dream, so maybe it’s just not meant to be. Maybe he’s just never meant to hold his tiny wife, in a bath full of blushing bubbles, while settling back and wondering how life could ever be this good.

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5SOS (y/n) Imagine: Opening Act

“rt if you think they should date or fav if they’re just a hookup”

“They need a ship name!”

“(y/n)’s SOOOO talented I bet they sign her band to Hi or Hey”

An absurd fan edit of Ashton proposing ends your daily Twitter search. It’s only been 3 weeks since Ashton and Calum reached out towards your band on Youtube, and you’re now gaining 100′s of followers a day. They scheduled a “business” meeting (where you played human Jenga longer than you actually negotiated business) last weekend at their L.A. rental home.Somehow the fans took more pictures of you meeting Ashton in the driveway for 5 seconds than you’ve ever taken in your entire life. 

The lead singer of their previous opening act has a family wedding to attend in Europe, so they are unable to make the next 3 shows on 5sos’ tour. Your band is a mixture of pop music and rock- almost a female version of All Time Low without the secondhand embarrassment of their emo stage. You’re the lead vocalist, alongside your older twin cousins who play bass and lead guitar. Your drummer was an ex-boyfriend who ended up being a better percussionist than he was a boyfriend. Your band has played a handful of sold out local shows, along with a state-wide college campus tour (which has generated enough interest for a fan base). Ashton and Calum were made aware of your band’s undeniable stage presence after a bunch of your loyal fans repeatedly dm’d them your best tour video that has had over 6 million views so far.

“Venti or Grande?” 

“Venti!” you reply back to Ashton. He asked you to make a coffee run with him this morning before the afternoon concert rehearsal begins. The rest of the band was either sleeping off last night’s booze fest or grabbing some greasy chinese take-out (looking at you Michael Clifford). Ashton waits at the edge of the barista’s corner for your drink, while you grab a spot to sit outside.

“I didn’t know if you’d be hungry or not..so I grabbed you a muffin and a lemon cake slice, or a cake pop..I think it’s birthday cake flavored! Anyways, I can eat whatever you don’t want,” Ashton sets all of his purchases on the wooden table.

“I’m game for that lemon cake and let’s split that cake pop while we’re at it.”

“How does one split a cake pop?” 

“I’ll bite half, you bite half? Like on Lady and The Tramp when they share the spaghetti!”

You roll your eyes at Ashton as he licks part of the cake pop suggestively, you decide to take a bite out of it while he’s still holding it up to his mouth.

“No fair! That bite was totally more than half,” Ashton complains before eating the rest of it. 

The next hour and half slides by as you both scroll through your phones, showing each other places you want to visit thanks to tumblr. As per usual, a security van comes to pick you up just in time for rehearsal. On the way back to the arena you notice your name is trending alongside Ashton’s on Twitter. “Starbuck’s Lovers!” is the caption on an insanely zoomed in photo of you eating part of the cake pop. Another photo of Ashton taking a selfie of you and him has already been edited and angled to appear incredibly intimate. A bunch of your fans are already tweeting potential ship names for the relationship they think you and Ashton might be in. Ashton leans over the seat and reads a few of the tweets.

“You take a fellow musician out to coffee and suddenly you are getting married on stage tonight! They wouldn’t do this if I went to lunch with Pete Went..actuallly they still probably would have.. I love our fans, I really do, but sometimes they make things more dramatic than a soap opera.” Ashton comments on a few of the extreme tweets. 

“Some of them are sweet though- like this girl said she loves both of us because of our music and she hopes that we could make each other happier.”

Ashton nods before sinking back into the seat in front of you, he gazes out the window and you can’t help but notice his smile reflected onto the window. 

Once you start practicing your set with your less-than energized band, you notice that a few of 5sos’ crew members are hanging around backstage along with Michael and Ashton discussing tonight’s setlist.Once you finish your final song, you head backstage to chat with them. Michael is messing around with Ashton’s drum kit and it’s driving Ashton crazy.

“MICHAEL GORDON CLIFFORD! This is not Step-Brothers, I swear to god if you defile my set I will not play tonight.”

“Chill out Ash! I’m just hitting the drums with your stick things not putting my ball sack on them.” Michael’s smart ass comment causes Ashton to get off his chair.

You can’t help but laugh as Michael hits the drum one final time before running towards the stage exit. 

“He is such an ass- Let’s draw a dick on his concert outfit for tonight,” you laugh as Ashton grabs the costume box and finds Michael’s favorite ripped skinnies. You hand him a silver sharpie you have from editing your own setlist. He draws a rather large spaceship on Michael’s pants and you add a few meteors for good measure.

“That totally looks like a dick..”

“We have 6 year old fans, so shut up (y/n) it’s a spaceship.”

Ashton hands you the marker back, but he grabs your hand first.

“Hey!” you start to smack him away as closes his palms around you.

“Uhmm..see you tonight.” Ashton walks off as you start to wonder why he held your sweaty hand for so long.

(Fast forward to the concert)

You were nervous to perform to such a huge crowd, but the energy of your bandmates and the funny signs helped you power through the setlist. Just as you were about to sit down and perform your final, slow ballad the lights switched off. The lights were supposed to dim, but not turn completely off, unsure of what to do you decide to sit on your stool and hope that the crew fixes the mistake soon. An orange spotlight comes on and you start to realize that the crew didn’t mention this new addition to the lighting. Just as you start to begin your ballad, Ashton drags his own stool onto the stage and along with his personal guitar he showed you last week.

“What is going on?” you whisper as you start to strum the beginning of the song.

“Just go with it! And give me a few verses,” he winks as he joins in on his guitar.

“Traveling doesn’t mean I’ve left my heart. I’ve just began finding it, help me find myself by finding you.”

“I’ll find you..I’ll find you if you find me,” Ashton sings the response.

“Miles are what I want, sunsets are what I collect, and I can see the journey in your eyes, so let’s adventure…”

“I’ll find you when you find me..I’ll find you” Ashton drags the notes out longer than his last part.

“The road is only scary when I’m alone,” your voice starts to waver a little as you notice Ashton paying full attention to you. It dawns on you that he must have planned this awhile ago, because everyone is watching your performance backstage- Michael even gives Ashton a thumbs up.You finish the rest of the song and struggle not to laugh as Ashton makes up his own verses about your favorite song to sing in the shower (something that you’d shared with him earlier during a game of 20 questions). As the song ends it’s obvious that Ashton has something to say before your band comes back on for the final bow. 

“(y/n), I know we haven’t known each other long..so this is kinda a long shot- I want to to ask you something in front of all of our loving, wonderful fans so you can’t turn me down,” he laughs as most of the fans scream and clap, finally realizing what he is doing.

“Will you grab another coffee with me sometime and maybe a little dinner or a movie.. we could save the world, go swimming, or whatever you want? It doesn’t have to be Starbucks, I just want to take you out on a real date sometime,” his boyish smile is directed towards the ground and you can tell that he’s actually nervous that you’ll turn him down.

Much to all the fans’ dismay, you lower your microphone headset down and whisper a coy “yes” into Ashton’s ear so that they can’t hear what you’re saying. Ashton however gives away your answer when his faces lights up like a suburban house in December.

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Zaina + Imaad

I am in love with this wedding. The bride looked so so beautiful mashAllah, her white and copper dress was amazing. The wedding itself looked chill and so much fun to be at. The photobooth, the human size jenga, and even the ice bucket challenge (i’m guessing) it all looks like so much fun. In shaa Allah this couple is blessed by Allah swt Ameen. 

Poolside

This is a bad idea. It was always going to be a bad idea.

Grace wasn’t as fond of the water as the job called for. But her friends were all signing up for jobs as lifeguards, so maybe it wasn’t as hard as it looked. She could sit in a chair and glare at children all day. She didn’t mind the extra time in the sun either. It’s the other things, specifically things that involve saving lives and interacting with children that would be a challenge.

Thankfully the day was almost over and, touch wood, nothing had happened yet.

Grace’s walkie talkie sounds from her hip, and static cuts through the air before a bored voice speaks.

We have a code ‘Jenga’ in Pool B. Over.

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Amazing Day.

I had such a great day today!

I went to Woodhall Residential Centre, and tried archery! I sucked at it, and kept flinching because when the bow whipped back it kept hitting against my arm. Which stung like hell. So then the guy gave me an arm protector, but it was leather, so I felt guilty because, y'know, dead cow! I got a bit better though, and I might not of scored any bulls eyes, but I managed to get it within the target after a few shots.

Then, I played human Jenga! This was..an experience. Three of us were strung up on harnesses and had to climb higher and higher up a tower of milk crates as it was steadily built higher. Then when it toppled we hung suspended awkwardly until we were lowered down. Yeah, so that was fun, even if my team [all being the oldest and tallest, and thus most unstable] got the worst score [nine crates high]. But hey, it’s the taking part, not the winning.

Then we had to do like a wooden climbing obstacle course thing. This consisted of climbing a ladder, running across a wooden plank, jumping a gap onto another wooden plank, scaling your way up a tree trunk/telephone post - like structure, then scrambling onto logs suspended by chains and walking across them. I made it up the pole, flung myself up onto the logs and got stuck in an awkward, half upside down, sloth like position. Unable to pull myself up, I went to lower myself down only to find I couldn’t reach the footholds. And thus, I had to drop from a height of about two stories, trusting only a skinny looking teenage boy to lower me down. I thought he’d drop me. He promised he wouldn’t. He didn’t. Bully for him.

Afterwards, I was brave foolish enough to scramble up another ladder and pole like structure and onto a narrow ledge. At an awkward angle from the footholds, I had to fling myself onto my stomach on said ledge and drag myself forward onto it. All the while thinking don’t look down, but in that position, you either have to look down or not look at all. I’ve never had a problem with heights before. Looking straight down a two story drop, knowing you’re about to drop and have only a flimsy looking harness and an old man to save you changed this a bit. I felt quite faint as I dragged myself to my feet. The idea was to jump towards and try to hit a suspended, red ball. This idea is relatively simple until you take into consideration the height and the two things your are bestowing your trust into. Well, I thought to myself as the cold numbness of anxiety began to spread through my body, gazing at the ball and trying to ignore the drop. It’s now or never. My muscles locked up as I leapt, but I managed to hit the stupid ball and suddenly the ground was rushing to meet me very quickly. Apparently the old guy hadn’t been expecting me to jump so soon. He was so unprepared I even lifted him up a little before he managed to stop me half way into the fall. Heart stopping moment right there. Needless to say, my feet were very pleased to be back on solid ground.

There was a barbeque. The only vegetarian choice was apples. Oh discrimination. Regardless, my sister bought me a salad sandwich from the shop and thus I was content with it. After lunch we got dolled up in helmets and life jackets, the new trend, clearly, and headed down to the River Bann. This was where the fun really began!

I tried banana boating, something I have never done before and would love to do again! I also had a go in a kayak, and spent a lot of time swimming around. Pretty sure I accidentally downed about seven glasses worth of dirty river water. I finished up with a final go on the banana boat. The man driving tipped us off, in the middle of the river, then let us all climb in and ride in his speed boat. Afterwards we jumped out and swam back to the shore. Soaking and freezing we made the bus journey back and got changed into dry clothes.

So yeah.

My day was awesome.


Batfam having fun though. 

Batfam playing freeze tag and flag football on the fields behind Wayne Manor, and then come evening they don a bunch of glow-stick bracelets and necklaces and go to a playground to play lava monster. 

Batfam doing some curious treasure hunting in the Wayne Manor and finding old games of Bruce’s in the attic, and then spend the rest of the day playing with pogs, moon shoes, and yo-yo’s. 

Batfam getting super competitive with Twister, Cards Against Humanity, and Jenga will eating enormous piles of junk food. 

Batfam building the largest blanket fort ever which then dissolves into the largest pillow fight ever. 

Batfam just being happy.