Watching The Pilot for the first time
Series 10, here we go.
-The first episode of Series 10.
So we could say this is the…
-I’m sorry. That joke doesn’t work, I know.
-Ooh, is this Bill’s theme? I like it?
-Why is it out of order though…
-Oh my god he has a photo of River Song on his desk ;-;
-And oh god is that Susan
Sonic screwdrivers! Did he keep all his sonic screwdrivers after all this time?
-The guitar again!
-Two minutes in and I’m already losing track of the dialogue
-Fifty years… So the Doctor’s been laying low again, has he?
-”Poetry, physics, same thing.”
You know what, I bet he didn’t even get hired through the normal procedure, he just walked in one day telling everyone he was the new professor, or even an old professor who left and decided to return, and he just bullshitted his way through any and all obstacles he came across during his stay
-”How is it the same?”
“Because of the rhymes.”
Yep, doesn’t rhyme.
-”I don’t care who’s dying, never ever be late, I’m very particular about time.”
Says the guy who was twelve years late when he said five minutes once.
-*cue changed intro logo DOCTOR WHAT*
-Okay, the intro visuals seem to have changed a little, but the melody sounds unchanged.
-OH SHIT IT’S MOFFAT
The inside of his coat is blue now?
AKA the pain of frame-by-frame or stopmotion animation
-Is Moffat trying to get us scared of slowmotion
-I feel like the students are very confused as to what to take notes of
-”Time And Relative Dimensions In Space, in means life.”
I thought your granddaughter made that up?
-BILL BE QUIET WHEN YOU’RE SNEAKING
-SNEAKING IS SUPPOSED TO BE QUIET
-There we go.
-I don’t like background music, it says jumpscare music
-It’s scary music
-Thank goodness, no jumpscares
-SCARY MUSIC AGAIN
-WHAT THE FUCK
-WHAT THE FUCK
-WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
-MOFFAT’S NOT TRYING TO GET US SCARED OF SLOW MOTION, HE’S TRYING TO GET US SCARED OF PUDDLES
-Aw, she gave him a Christmas present
Look at those poor paper crowns trying to hold all that hair omygosh
-”With some people you can smell the wind in their clothes”
I guess it’s supposed to be more philosophical, but for me that reminds me of how people have the cold air around them when they just came in from outside.
-R.I.P. Bill’s mom.
-”But if someone’s gone, do pictures really help?”
That glace he makes at the photos on his desk.
At his wife and granddaughter.
That, is just heartbreaking.
Hey, Moffat, do you have a heart, because you’re breaking mine with fictional photographs
-So the Doctor, took a picture of the mother, of a student that he is currently teaching, back when said student wasn’t even born?
-Eyyy he’s using the rug
-But did he really tilt the Tardis himself to put a rug under it?
I mean, it’s incredibly light compared to its actual size, but it’s still a phone box. Sure, if someone ran at full speed and slammed their body against it that might give it a good jolt or even make it fall over but…
-There’s something deeply unsettling about that girl’s stare
-REMIND ME TO NEVER STEP IN EVERY PUDDLE THAT I SEE EVER AGAIN
-Well the Doctor certainly knows how to escape silently…
His clothes are blue now!
You’re blue now! That’s my attack!
-Cue Twelfth Doctor theme, woohoo!
-”Why do you run like that?”
“Like a penguin with its ass on fire.”
Human factors and ergonomics (commonly referred to as HF&E), also known as comfort design, functional design, and systems,[1 is the practice of designing products, systems, or processes to take proper account of the interaction between them and the people who use them. (Source: Wikipedia)
-BEST LINE TEN OUTTA TEN
-I’VE BEEN LAUGHING FOR THIRTY SECONDS NOW
-Ahahahahaha hah ahahaha ha ha
What’s with the burn marks on the ground
-”Do you know any scifi?”
“Bitch, I AM scifi.”
-Possession usually has to do with fantasy or horror, not scifi…
-”There’s this thing on Netflix. Lizards in people’s brains.”
First Pokemon, now Netflix. BBC REALLY doesn’t care.
-What’s the show though, it sounds interesting.
-” So, you meet a girl with a discolored iris and your first thought is she might have a lizard in her brain? I can see I’m going to have to up my game.“
-Doctor Who dialogue just gets better and better
-Actually, you can sorta see your face the ‘right way’ if you align two mirrors together so they’re perpendicular. The middle line might stand out, but you’re looking at your face the way anyone else sees it. The elevator in my apartment building has three reflective sides, so I can see my ‘right’ face quite often. I just have to stare at a corner of said elevator.
-They’re finally getting to the burn marks, thank you.
-”Tutorial’s over, take the night off. It’s all cancelled. Go and be a proper student. Texts, snogging, a vegan wrap.”
How does any of that make me a proper student
-”Oh, it’s just some freak optical effect. I’m bored already.”
Like hell you are
IT’S NOT FUNNY LAPIS
-oh shit she’s alone in the flat
You could’ve gone to the kitchen and grabbed a knife
-But then, an umbrella is bigger and easier to wield and is great at deflecting water, so, not bad I guess
-Well I’m still getting myself a knife
-That’s it, I’m sitting in front of the monitor with a kitchen knife in my hand
-DON’T SAY HELLO TO YOUR POSSESSED GHOST FRIEND
-OH GOD THIS IS MIDNIGHT ALL OVER AGAIN
IT’S MIDNIGHT AND WATERS OF MARS ALL OVER AGAIN
-shit shit shit shit SHIT
-EYY BIGGER ON THE INSIDE MOMENT
-EYY THE BIT FROM THE TRAILER
“Well, that’s a first…”
-So the Tardis does have a bathroom. After all these years. After FIFTY-FOUR years, the BBC finally gives us the answer no one really asked for but everybody kind of wanted anyway.
-”Human alert, do you want me to repel her?”
-”Oh, my God! This isn’t just a room, is it?”
“No, it’s not just a room.”
“This is a lift!”
“…wELL oKAY tHeN”
-”It’s bigger on the inside than it is on the outside!”
“Heh-hey! We got there!”
-”Well, first you have to imagine a very big box fitting inside a very small box. Then you have to make one. It’s the second part people normally get stuck on.”
-Of course, one could always scumple the big box and stuff it inside the small box, but then, the big box wouldn’t be big anymore, would it?
-”If it had work to do, why would it lie around in a puddle?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s a student?”
So it’s too afraid of life and consequences and generally overwhelmed by the looming weight of its duties to get itself to do anything?
-Wait, is the the room Bill followed them into earlier?
-IT’S A BANSHEE AS WELL AS A MIDNIGHT CREATURE AND A WATER MONSTER
ah yes the three primary colors
(not to mention Misty from Pokemon)
-You’re escaping from a water monster and you went to a beach, good idea, 10/10.
-”Have we traveled in time?”
“No, we traveled to Australia.”
That’s also a first.
-Bill, you can’t just drink from the bathroom sink!
-”Can I ask you a personal question?”
“Can I anyway?”
-”If you’re from another planet, why would you name your box in English? Those initials wouldn’t work in any other language!”
THANK YOU BILL
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BRINGING THAT UP
-Well, that wasn’t exactly a shark, but thanks for proving the point, Heather.
-”Hunger looks very like evil from the wrong end of the cutlery. Or do you think that your bacon sandwich loves you back?“
In case you’re trying to start a vegan argument with this, no offense but your broccoli doesn’t love you back either.
-So that’s why the episode is titled ‘The Pilot’.
-Also, now that Bill’s found a puddle here, they better rUN THE FUCK AWAY.
wHAT THE FUCK
-Nope nope nope nope nope
Heyyy it’s the old sonic!
-The Fourth Doctor’s sonic, to be precise.
-Soooo did BBC make some new props for this episode or did they keep all the screwdrivers from the sixties and on
-”Hey John, while you’re throwing out those old props, would you mind putting these sonic screwdrivers in the recycle bin?”
“Nah, let’s keep them, they don’t take up a lot of space. Besides, we might need them again some decades later.”
-OH SHIT THEY RAN INTO A BUNCH OF DALEKS
-Twelve: “We’ve got this annoying creature on our tail, let’s try to shake it off by running through a ton of Daleks.”
Ten: “What went wrong with you”
Eleven: “What happened to me”
-THEY’RE FIGHTING DALEKS??
-Yep, it’s not going well for those lot
yeah you two do that and be friends while we run away thank you
-It’s like the Doctor isn’t even taking the Daleks seriously anymore
-”YOU ARE AN ENEMY OF THE DALEKS!”
“lol what else would i be”
-Daleks have stormtrooper level aim now. gg BBC, gg
Tbh that’s even freakier than a normal dalek eyestalk
-BANSHEE, MIDNIGHT MONSTER, WATER CREATURE AND DALEK
-MOFFAT’S HAVING THE TIME OF HIS LIFE ISN’T HE
-Oh wait, this is only the first episode, does that mean
Moffat hasn’t even started yet
-Is he planning to give heart attacks to all of us
-”The last thing she said to me. She promised she wouldn’t leave without me.”
And now my heart’s breaking
-shit shit shit shit shit
Ehhh it’s okay Moffat, I didn’t need that heart anyway lol
-”That’s the Doctor for you. Never notices the tears.“
Never acknowledges his own tears either…
-”Yeah, because I think you’re going to wipe my memory. I’m not stupid, you know. That’s the trouble with you. You don’t think anyone’s ever seen a movie. I know what a mind-wipe looks like!“
THANK YOU BILL
-”Imagine, just imagine how it would feel if someone did this to you.“
They just HAD to put Clara’s theme in there, didn’t they?
-All slowed down and more tragic
-And they HAD to make the Doctor sound like he’s holding back tears
-*distant crying noises*
“You shut up as well.”
-Someone fucking end me
-Come to my house and stop my sinful hands
-I am allowed too much power
-Did the Doctor just leave for a hundred years to mull this over and come back to the present
-”It means, what the hell.”
That’s a first, AGAIN.
-I love that theme at the end!
-Oh boy I can’t wait for more episodes, they all look so exciting–
iS THAt john simm
-WhAT tEh FUcK