human body part

a friend of mine tried to sell his soul on ebay and the starter price was $10 and people were bidding on it but before anything happened ebay took it down and sent him an email explaining that if he was selling a soul that didn’t actually exist then it was against their policy and if he was selling a real soul then that is a human body part and it is also against their policy 

Ancient medicine believed there were only four bodily fluids called the “humors.” These included blood, mucus, bile, and mayonnaise, which was later discovered to be not a natural part of the human body, but a natural part of egg salad.
the posh boy problem

you are at part one.

part two: the posh boy solution

also available on: AO3

***

Posh boy left his mug on the papers again. It will leave a rim on the sports section.

John goes over to the living room table. Then he stops in his tracks. It’s happened again, hasn’t it? More and more often he finds himself giving Sherlock silly petnames in his head. He was never a friend of those, can hardly explain why he is doing it now – in his own thoughts – but something about it calms and provokes him at the same time. He picks up the half-emptied mug of cold tea and thinks this over on his walk to the kitchen sink.

He likes Sherlock. He knows this, has known this for literally ages. That he likes him, and that he likes him in a way that Sherlock most definitely won’t find appealing. Sexually. There, he said it. In his head, of course, never out loud. But Sherlock, with his many frustrating qualities, of which many where outrageously attractive to John, is practically forcing him to feel provoked. Those feelings then lead to … petnames, apparently. He’s had stranger coping mechanisms before.

In his head greets him with hey, handsome in the morning, those wonderful mornings where Sherlock has actually slept and still looks all soft and not quite awake. He calls him genius when he is being too clever again and doesn’t notice, calls him pretty man and silly git and sweetheart when he’s feeling like it, and, of course, posh boy. He doesn’t even know what it is about that one in particular, but he finds that to be the worst. For his sexual frustration, that is. Every time it comes up in his head, which is more and more often, it fuels his imagination vividly. So much that it has even made it to his bedroom and he has dreams, half-asleep, half-awake, about teaching posh boy a lesson, getting posh boy a little dirty, treating posh boy a little rough. These are all terrible thoughts. Because they will stay just as imaginary and sexually frustrating. Posh boy won’t love him back, after all.

One morning Sherlock sits in front of his microscope on the kitchen table. He hasn’t moved for at least two hours. Nothing unusual. In fact, it was how they spend most of their Sundays now. John doesn’t really date anymore, and even if he did, he would not trade these days for anything. They have fallen into this pattern a while ago, the pattern of staying in on lazy Sundays, waking up later and waiting for the other to have breakfast together. Now Sherlock occupies himself with some experiment on maggots and fingers (John doesn’t even ask) and John is sitting in his chair. He is reading a novel about an incredibly clever and cunning explorer who kind of reminds him of Sherlock (he can’t help it, as much as he would like to). Being absorbed in the book, he is confused at first when Sherlock calls him from the kitchen.

“John?”

“Hmh?”

With Sherlock this is either going to be of highest importance or an absurdly unnecessary request.

“Care to pass me my phone?”

John sighs loudly. The latter. Thought so.

“Where is your phone?”

“Breast pocket.”

With his eyes rolling at the ceiling John puts a bookmark in his book, places it on the table next to him and gets off his chair. Walking into the kitchen, he murmurs under his breath.

“I see posh boy’s being a lazy butthead again…”

He takes the phone out of Sherlock’s breast pocket and holds it out for him. But instead of taking it and paying no more attention to him, Sherlock is suddenly staring at him like his face was on fire. John frowns at him. Sherlock, in turn, raises one brow.

“Posh?”

John’s eyes widen in shock and his heart jumps once in his chest and then stops, he thinks, just stops, and he wants to melt and become one with the floorboards. This is bad.

“I’m not posh,” Sherlock complains.

He must notice how John is only blushing more deeply. How? How did he say that out loud without noticing? How the bloody hell could he?

John clears his throat and decides to go along with it. There is no more turning back from here on anyway.

“You… are, actually. Just look at you, you with your… cheekbones. Your… perfectly tailored suits, your annoying British accent and deep voice-”

“We all have British accents.”

“I know!” John is enormously embarrassed, and he feels that if he doesn’t take a long walk right now, he will punch something to calm his inner unsettlement. “I need air.”

But Sherlock isn’t finished. “If anything, you are the posh one, John.”

“Hah! How so, Sherlock Holmes? Have you looked at yourself?”

“Have you looked around this flat in the past years? There are piles of magazines in the corners of every room, there is a Cluedo board pinned to the wall by me, I leave my things wherever I please, the kitchen is a mess of syringes and human body parts – an organised and well structured mess if you know where to look, but not the point right now – and I am currently examining maggots. In contrast to this you, John Watson, are a doctor, you wear your chequered shirts buttoned up to your chin, you’ve lived a clean life not suffering from a drug addiction, have had girlfriends and relationships and altogether live as part of the middle-class society in Central London. You wish for a wife and children and probably a German Shepard and a house in the suburbs, or at least that’s what you think you want, so tell me, John: How am I the posh one?”

John has a hard time finding a response to this that doesn’t only consist of loose vowels. It takes him a good minute, but Sherlock is oddly patient with him.

“First of all,” he manages then, “ I don’t think I want a wife and children, thank you very much. And maybe… maybe I’m not that serious when I call you things like that.”

“So why do you?”

“What?” John’s heart began beating faster once more. He’s so tense.

“Why do you call me a posh… boy?”

Oh fuck, hearing those two words spoken out loud and together and out of Sherlock’s mouth, for God’s sake!

“I- I don’t. Why- why should I even tell you? You read my mind all the time, can I not be allowed to keep this one thing to myself for once?!”

Sherlock narrows his eyes and observes him from head to toe. Oh please no. “No, that’s not it.”

“Alright, you know what? It’s you. Okay? It’s your fault! You just make me so angry all the time. No, don’t- don’t look at me like that.”

Sherlock’s eyes have gone wide and very blue. He looks genuinely hurt by this. Scared even. Scared at what John would say next, what this would mean for them. John feels and shares his pain, and he hates himself for every word he has ever said that would make Sherlock look like this. He is vulnerable and human, after all. Even if he tries to convince everyone around him that he isn’t, John has to stop falling for Sherlock’s own defence mechanism.

“I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just… what you said. There’s no wife and there is no house in the suburbs for me, Sherlock. I just can’t see it. But I see this.” He means Baker Street, means 221B, means … Sherlock. “This life. With you.”

Sherlock’s eyes are still so very blue. He wants to lose himself in them.

“And that makes you angry?” Sherlock asks.

“What? No. I’m just. Forget it.”

John finally has the courage to turn around and go, or maybe he lacks the courage to face him and stay, but either way he walks back into the sitting room, prepared to put on his jacket and leave the house for at least two hours. Sherlock jumps up and follows him.

“John! Wait. We never say what we want to say.”

John swirls around, his mouth a thin line of held back emotions. He stands close to the door. Ready to flee. “And what do you wanna say?”

Sherlock takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. When he opens them again, there is courage in the one and fear in the other.

“Me too.”

“Sorry?”

“Me too. I see this, too. Us. This life we share.”

John bites the insides of his mouth because his whole skin feels hot with disbelief and wonder and hope, oh god, so much hope that he doesn’t let himself own.

“What?” he asks instead, going for a weak smile, “You don’t see yourself with a wife and children?”

Sherlock huffs a laugh. “No. Weirdly I don’t.”

They smile at each other.

“So ‘posh boy’,” Sherlock says after a while, “is actually about…?”

“Me being an ungrateful moron? Me never saying what I should say before it’s too late? Me trying to get my anger at all of this under control? Yes. Yes, I suppose it is.”

Sherlock looks down at the spot between his feet. He’s thinking. But not as he usually is, not fast and calculating and mechanical. He’s thinking about the right thing to do. The things he has always wanted to do, but never thought it to be right or appropriate or good for them.

“I can wait for you to figure this out.”

“Wait for me?”

“As long as you need, John. We both agreed, didn’t we? Both of us don’t plan on leaving or getting married and reproduce anytime soon, so.”

“You don’t like waiting,” John points out, but he is already incredibly relieved and impressed by Sherlock’s words.

“No, I don’t. But I like you.”

John doesn’t flee to take an hour-long walk that day. He would never trade a lazy Sunday with Sherlock Holmes, after all. Sherlock continues with his experiment, and John reads. Later they watch telly together and Sherlock yells at the incompetent game show host on BBC One. He said he could wait till John figures this out, whatever this is. But maybe they both don’t have to wait that long. Maybe, just maybe, posh boy could actually love him back.

…to be continued…

@just–elope

anonymous asked:

The villains defending Tony's honor after an ex lies to the tabloids that Tony has a small penis (he doesnt) but the villains also scowering the internet and spying on him to see it

This is a bit tricky because I’ve always imagined that there were some nudes of Tony leaked at some point, maybe even a sex tape. I don’t know if it’s actually canon or where the idea comes from, but if that were the case, there would be no point, you know? Everyone could essentially just go find out for themselves.

I also–and this is not meant against you or the ask you sent in–find it a little weird to be so focused on the size of Tony’s dick, because why should it even matter? Seriously, I half imagine Tony’s response to such a claim would be to (accidentally because of course) kick off a Size Doesn’t Matter campaign after he snaps at someone in an interview or releases a Youtube statement or something and the whole thing gets blown out of proportion real quick.

And then the villains feel obligated to show support for the campaign because first of all Tony, and second they are villains, they want to destroy people’s lives in general and don’t discriminate in regards to gender, race or size, alright? They want to enslave or eradicate all humans after all.

So they wear the t-shirts and the statement bracelets and the occasional support sticker, while casually demolishing Tony’s ex-lover’s home. Just because they happened to walk by at some point.

(And maybe a little because they strongly discriminate against Tony haters.)

My Turn to contribution to ‘humans are weird’

Imagine aliens landing in somewhere like Australia and Canada studying the animals and humans being like this makes sense so far also seeing our metric system being like this makes logical sense. 

Alien: so you start temperature with 0 at water freezing point and 100 at boiling point got it 

Human: yup we’re pretty smart 

Alien: is there anything else I need to know before I go to America 

Human: no I think you’re good to go. Oh wait they hav- 

Alien: *teleports to America* 

Human: they have the imperial system *sigh*


Alien: greetings human can you tell me where I am and the current temperature as well as what you would like to be called how tall you are, how much you weigh and if you’re a permanent resident of this area 

Human: are yea sure you’re in Texas and it’s currently *checks phone* 85 degrees, I’m 6 foot 2 and weigh 158 pounds and yea you can call me Paul. I live here do you want me to show u around or something- 

Alien: ok 85 degrees… Wait 85 degrees the human doctor Dave told me that I can’t light humans on fire because they cannot survive in high temperatures. Have you Americans evolved to withstand such high temperatures? 

Human: Wait no Dave’s right I think you’ve just been around Celsius in America we use Fahrenheit 

Alien: ok, and you said you were six feet two 

*Picks up human by ankle to measure foot* 

Alien: strange the human Tiffany never said you measured things in body parts 

Human: I didn’t mean literal feet they’re just called that, a foot is 12 inches Americans use the imperial system. Now can you put me down. 

Alien: can you inform me which other countries use this system 

Human: uh we’re basically the only ones 

Alien: *stops transcribing and stares at human Paul* 

Alien: *writes* note Americans are the ★▷▶♂✛✣⬜◀▶ of Earth they do not listen to reason and measure things in body parts

Russia: Cannibal couple arrested for killing, eating 30 people

Dmitry Baksheev, 35, and his wife Natalia, were reportedly arrested after a dismembered body was found at the military base where they lived.

Police confirmed a number of food and meat items discovered at their home were now being tested for human DNA.

A mobile phone was found by road construction workers earlier this month with graphic images of dismembered body parts on the device.

One photograph uncovered and published on Russian media appears to show Mr Baksheev posing with a dismembered body part in his mouth.

A body of a 35-year-old woman was then reportedly discovered at a military academy where the couple live.

The body was dismembered and a bag of the victim’s belongings were reportedly also found.

The couple reportedly still lived in the hostel accommodation at the property after once working at the site.

The Russian interior ministry confirmed the man in the images had been identified and arrested.

‘Body parts in jars’

Footage has been released on Russian state media reportedly showing police searching the couple’s home.

A number of human body parts were pictured, some preserved in saline in jars.

In a statement, the Investigative Committee of the Krasnodar Territory confirmed that during the search “food fragments and frozen meat pieces of unknown origin were seized in the kitchen”.

They confirmed forensic testing was being done to determine if the items were human or animal.

Russian media report that photographs found printed in the apartment and on mobile phones could suggest the killings could date back almost two decades.

One photograph is dated 28 December 1999 and appears to show a dismembered human head on a serving plate with fruit.

Police have confirmed the couple remain in custody on the initial murder charge while further investigations and biological testing continues.


The Wrong Side of Heaven Finale (demon bucky x reader)

Originally posted by the-devil-beside-you

Word Count: 600

Warnings: death, mentions of dismembered body parts

A/N: please leave feedback?

The Wrong Side of Heaven Masterlist


The scent of something burning became thicker as Bucky walked down the hallway. He had to admit, though. It smelled as though he were walking through the gateways of hell. It smelled like home to him. It smelled like burning flesh- burning flesh! Are you fucking kidding me? His pace quickened tremendously until the scent was burning his nostrils.

He violently threw open the door to witness you standing in front of a large furnace. How the fuck did she manage to keep a furnace up here?

“James!” She squealed in terror, trying her damndest to hide the severed human body parts lying in front of the furnace’s open door. “How did you- what are you doing here?”

“So,” he spoke slowly, straightening his stance, knowing this is what he was sent onto earth for. He was sent to collect your soul. He was sent to be the reason behind your death. “So, this is what you’ve been hiding from me? Harvesting human remains, huh?”

Keep reading

eating habits of the fahc

- the penthouse is always just full of random shit to eat, but they also used to keep body parts in the freezer as well (until geoff finally bought another freezer). jeremy was left traumatized once when he tried to make breakfast sausages but instead of grabbing sausages out of the freezer he grabbed actual human fingers– he was more surprised at the mix up, not at the fact that there was an actual human body part in the freezer

- jack makes sure to buy an entire array of everything– fruits, meats, seafood, veggies, the whole nine yards

- she is the only one that eats the fruits and veggies, and probably the only one that eats what normal people should. she always makes sure to get three meals a day, relatively balanced, though she is a slut for angel food cake and none of it is safe around her

- geoff is very much a Dad-esque Eater. like, he grabs a fucking giant sandwich at lunch, eats whatever is made for breakfast, and only eats dinner if it interests him (aka, anything made by jack or himself)

- michael is pure junk food and soda. his blood is pretty much mountain dew at this point. jack tries to make him eat healthy but all the items he’ll ever eat can all be found in a convenience store. he can make basic stuff (pancakes and whatnot) but just chooses not to. jack’s just thankful he at least has a schedule 

- gavin doesn’t eat a whole lot and not particularly because he chooses so, but because he is the pickiest eater in the entire fucking world. he eats only the fanciest cuisine simply because “That’s just my taste!”. his tea MUST be imported from that small local tea store in his home town and his chocolate MUST be imported directly from that one store he went to one time in switzerland that also serves the french minister and it MUST 

- ryan claims he eats enough and eats well, but unless he’s got a mini fridge in his room (how would he have room between all the weapons and plants?) or goes out to eat ever day (at this point? it’s a possibility) there is no fucking way, says jack. a month went by where the only thing she had seen him eat was an entire bag of doritos, once, at three a.m., and seven cans of diet coke in one day. she has no idea how he functions at any point in time. 

- jeremy ranges from “listen guys i’m trying to diet and eat well okay i’m just gonna have a sandwich instead of this pizza okay” to “how many cans of pringles do i need to eat in order to build a fort in the living room? 50? well, start crackin them open i suppose”

- trevor tries. he tries so hard whenever he goes to the penthouse– should we do a dinner?? let’s go out to eat!! pleaes i’m begging you there’s lettuce here, it’s going to go stale– but at this point the mold is set and everyone except jack and geoff are fucked

Hunk and Lance Appreciation Meta: On the Importance of Support

(I’m crying because I lost the first version of this post, but here we go again)

I have never written something as long as this before, but I had rambled on some time ago about my precious boys Hunk and Lance and their importance on/to the team, especially the role they play in the team dynamic in relation to their bayards and their being Voltron’s legs. I might miss a lot of things as I admittedly didn’t have the time to focus hard on all the eps and comics, so if I gloss over anything, please feel free to point it out. (Also, fair warning as this is long, and may be image heavy. Also, I don’t pride myself on cohesive thinking, but I try my best.)

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Valentine

Series: Kobayashi-san Chi no Maid Dragon

Words: 1,570

A/N: I have no excuse. I’m gay dragon trash and I didn’t write anything for any fandom for Valentine’s Day specifically this year, so I whipped this up this morning (in addition to another fic which I shall post later).

Blame my followers. They only encouraged me to write for these two gay idiots and their dragon daughter and now I’m hooked and will probably write more…

——-

Valentine


When Kobayashi had left the apartment that morning, she’d sent out a silent prayer to the universe itself that nothing too crazy would happen today.

She found herself making that wish just about every day now, but it wasn’t always granted, considering the company she was keeping back at home.

She merely went to work as usual and kept her fingers crossed. She hadn’t even remembered about Valentine’s Day until she’d gotten into the office and heard most of her male co-workers mumbling about how they still needed to buy last-minute gifts for their wives or girlfriends.

Oh, Kobayashi thinks briefly. I guess today is that holiday… I doubt Tohru knows about it. It might be best if it stays that way.

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The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. —1 Corinthians‬ ‭12:12‬

You are not in competition with that woman who is flourishing in the gifts that God has given her. You are not any less than the believer who seems to already know exactly what God has called him to do. We are all members of the body of Christ and we are not in a race against one another. God is shaping you in this very moment to be apart of what He’s doing too, even if you don’t feel as equipped, prepared, or worthy as everyone else.

You are just as important to God’s family as any well known pastor, speaker, artist, or anyone you look up to. Yes, God calls people to lead, and we should respect our leaders, but not to the point that we think less of ourselves and what God has called us to do. It’s not only the job of the leaders to encourage the discouraged. It’s not only famous Christian leaders who are responsible for making Christ’s name known. Yes, we all have roles within the body, but ultimately, sharing the Gospel is on all of us.

Hold onto this. The enemy loves to remind us why we are not qualified to serve the Lord. He loves to remind us that even though we have been forgiven and that we are strengthened by the Holy Spirit to do whatever God has called us to do, our shortcomings will eventually catch up to us. He wants us to see ourselves as imposters and not as children of God who have been saved by grace.

But you don’t have to believe those lies. You also don’t have to know exactly what your skills and talents are to begin to use your gifts for the glory of the Lord. Read through 1 Corinthians 12:8-10 and let God speak to your heart. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide and strengthen you to step out on faith when it comes to how you serve Him. You don’t have to have a how-to plan written down on paper to start serving the Lord over the next day, week, or month. Make it your priority to be intentional about trusting God to open doors for you if you continue to let Him lead you!

Written by @morganhnichols for #TheDevoCo

Earth Witchcraft: Tools & Associations

**Tools: Acorns/Acorn Caps, Animal Bones, Animal Skulls, Antlers, Axe, Bark, Baskets, Branches and Sticks, Bricks, Chains, Chords, Clay, Claws (animal), Club/Bat, Coins/Currency, Dried Plants/Flowers, Drums, Earthenware, Flower Pots, Fur, Gardening Tools and Supplies, Gourds (dried), Gloves (work/leather/gardening), Hammer, Hands and Feet/the Body, Hedge Clippers/Gardening Sheers, Horns (animal), Leather, Metallic Objects and Jewelry, Mud/Facial Mud, Mushrooms & Fungi, Nails/Stakes, Nuts and Nut Shells, Pentacles, Pickaxe, Potted Plants, Pottery, Pottery Tools, Rake, Rocks and Stones, Salt, Salt Lights, Sand, Scale, Sculptures, Sculpting Tools, Seeds, Shield, Shovel, Soil/Dirt, Spade, Staff, Stomping and Marching, Straw and Hay, Teeth, Twine, Weights, Wires (metal), Wood, Wood Carvings, Wood Chips, Wooden Objects, Wooden Utensils, and Yarn

**be sure that any animal parts you are using were legally obtained! Check your local laws! Do not use human body parts, bones or teeth due to the human remains laws unless you have proper documentation and proof you legally got them!

Colors: Brown, Beige, Greens, Black, earthy colors

Corresponds to: Stability, prosperity, food, feasts, money, wealth, crops, animals, home, mountains, family, fertility, strength, grounding, protection, nature, death and rebirth

Crystals: All stones and crystals relate to earth some specific ones- onyx, jade, halite, amethyst, fluorite, amazonite, emerald, hematite, jet, lodestone, malachite, peridot, serpentine, turquoise, desert rose, sandstone, geode

Metals: Lead (toxic be careful), Iron, Silver

*Plants & Trees: All plants and trees are associated to earth on some level, those more strongly attuned are - Ash, Dwarf Elm, Hawthorn, Patchouli, Vetiver, Wheat, Oats, Rice, Cypress, Ivy, Poppy, Thrift Plant, Mushrooms, Potato, Narcissus, Oak moss, Fern, Honeysuckle, Primrose, Horehound, Rhubarb, Magnolia, Mugwort, Vervain, Turnips, Onions, Carrots, Nuts (general), Roots (general), Seeds. 

*research plants, herbs and trees before burning, ingesting or using on skin for some are toxic and even lethal

Animals: All 4-legged animals; Cow/Bull/Ox, Bison, Snake, Dog, Donkey, Mule, Bear, Coyote, Wolf, Deer/Stag, Elk, Owl, and Cats

Elementals and Beasts/Creatures: Giant, Gargoyle, Leprechaun, Troll, Sphinx, Gnomes, Dwarf, Faun, Goblin, Satyr, Dryad, Sylvestres and Brownies

Sense: Touch

Body: Teeth, Bones, Hands, Feet, Spine/Back, Reproduction Organs

Earth Related Magick: Animal, Ancestral, Cottage, Crystal, Death/Funerary, Green, Kitchen, Knot/Weaving, Family, Prosperity, Sculpting and Carving, Fertility, Protection, Defensive, Strength, Grounding, Money/Gain