human!tony

HEY GUYS LOOK AT WHAT I FOUND!

OKAY so I know everybody pokes fun at this scene because haha Sam has long hair like Thor lol

BUT. According to Marvel (and real Norse) lore, Mjolnir is VERY picky about who can or can not wield it.

There are NO specific rules for who is allowed to wield it. The only description we are given is that Mjolnir is a SENTIENT ENTITY WHO IS CONSCIOUS ABOUT WHO IT WANTS TO BE USED BY.

LETS LOOK AT WHO CAN NOT PICK IT UP

BRUCE BANNER = All around good guy. Just has a “condition”. Never killed anyone (in human form)

TONY STARK = A bit of a playboy but is still a nice person, gave up his company to keep people safe

JAMES “RHODEY” ROADS = Is really just Tony’s best friend, a good guy who only wants to keep Tony safe. No homo. (maybe a lil’ homo)

NOW LETS LOOK AT WHO CAN PICK IT UP

Thor = (Obviously) He is not a perfect person. He can be arrogant, think himself above others (not much anymore but still), and has a very clear weakness when Loki is involved

Steve Rogers = There is no “almost worthy”. Steve CAN lift the hammer, he just didn’t want to embarrass Thor about his “I get to rule Asgard now” thing. He HAS killed people in the past. Suffers from PTSD

Gamora = SHE HAS KILLED HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE. SHE WAS RAISED TO KILL AT A YOUNG AGE. AND SHE IS A COLD WARRIOR. YET SHE CAN STILL LIFT IT

SO WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR SAM!?

Well first look at the asshole who bought Mjolnir at that supernatural auction house. We see him cradling Mjolnir as he walks away. I think that the only reason he can hold it is because he’s a demon and is probably using some demon-witchy magic to lift it.

BUT SAM IS… LETS SAY 92.5% HUMAN AND HAS NO LIFTING MAGIC

MJOLNIR, AFTER SEEING THIS GUY WHO HAS KILLED MANY PEOPLE AND HAS

LOST HIS FAITH, BROTHER, FATHER, MOTHER, GIRLFRIEND, BEST FRIEND, ANGEL, LIFE, SOUL, HUMANITY, SHOE, FREEDOM, BROTHER AGAIN, LIFE AGAIN, AND WILL TO LIVE

THINKS THAT DEEP DOWN, SAM IS A GREAT FUCKING PERSON WHO IS HELLA WORTHY

SAM IS STILL A GOOD PERSON IN MJOLNIR’S EYES

THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT.

anonymous asked:

What if humans are the only ones to have made up chewing gum and the aliens are just so confused because we chew something continuously even though it has no nutritional value, it makes no sense.

I absolutely love this!

“I think our Human might be broken or starving,” Commander Tryvann said, looking to the ships nutritional expert, a four foot tall Besseggen affectionately nicknamed Bob by the human Awtowi also known as “Toni”.
“Human Toni is chewing on what scans as styrene-butadiene rubber, which apparently is a common component in things like human shoe soles.” Tryvann elaborated, so worried xir gaustatop pouch puffed out.

“Did human Toni ingest it, or did they repeatedly use their exposed face bones to crush it, occasionally puffing it into a sphere?” Bob questioned, surprising the Commander tremendously.

“They… Commander Tryvann did not see them ingest it. How could you know this, Besseggen Bob?”

“Humans are a strange species, Commander. They seem to do it for fun.” Bob said, quickly continuing before the Commander worried xir ship would be destroyed. “It poses no threat for anyone in the vicinity - with the exception of an allergic reaction among the Surtningssui species, but there are none of them aboard. It seems to be anxiety alleviating for some humans, and for others it presents them with something ‘to do’ in between feeding times.” Bob elaborated, mimicking the ‘quotation marks’ Toni had shown them. The Commander knew better than to question it.

“Is Besseggen Bob certain of this?” Commander Tryvann asked cautiously, not wanting another cigarette incident.

“Toni did have to think for a long time before coming up with the answer, but I believe that has more to do with them being accustomed to it than them giving any misinformation.” Bob said after a moment of consideration.

“Besseggen Bob will be held accountable along with Human Toni if this proves false.” Commander Tryvann declared before heading back to xir post, once again reminded that xe would never truly understand humans.

Throwing my hat into mermay!


“I don’t think Bucky likes me,” Tony said quietly, watching a crab skitter over his toes.

Steve frowned, looking up from braiding some kelp together. “He likes you, he’s just… Ever since he was attacked by that sea monster, he’s been… suspicious.”

“We were basking and he almost drowned me, Steve,” Tony sighed, then bent down, hand dipping into the water to scoop up a starfish. He flipped it over to look at its mouth. “Not to mention all the times he decides I’ve been hogging you and just… takes you.”

“He’s getting better about that! And he didn’t mean to almost drown you. He didn’t know you couldn’t breathe underwater!” Steve insisted, and then scowled and smacked the brunet’s hand when he started poking lightly at the starfish’s mouth. “Quit it. You’re freaking it out.”

Tony obediently tossed the starfish back into the water, curling his toes into the sand. “If you say so, Steve.”

Steve sighed. “He is getting better.”

“I believe you,” Tony lied, shifting his feet so the sucker-marks that curled around the back of his left leg weren’t as visible.

Steve noticed anyway, and his face twisted into something terrible. “Tony—ACK!”

“Well,” Tony mumbled, leaning his elbows on his knees as the blond was yanked under the surface of the water. “At least the noise you make every time doesn’t stop being funny.”

It took several minutes, but eventually, Steve resurfaced. He lifted his hands to shove his wet hair out of his eyes and sighed loudly, annoyed. “Sorry. Bucky, say you’re sorry.”

Bucky surfaced so just his eyes were above the water. He glared at Tony suspiciously.

Say you’re sorry,” Steve repeated icily.

Bucky ducked back under the water before popping back out just long enough to blurt out, “Sorry, I guess.” Then he disappeared under the surface again, probably to sulk.

Steve made another annoyed sound and rolled his eyes, then looked up at Tony earnestly. “Listen, okay, we’re friends. I’m not going to stop being your friend just because Bucky gets jealous sometimes. Do you understand that?”

Tony curled his toes in the sand again, nodding. “Yeah.”

“I’m a person and I get to decide who I spend time with. And I wanna spend time with you.”

“Okay,” Tony agreed obediently. He stood. “Would you be offended if I said I have to go now? I have to get ready for a business trip.”

“No,” Steve answered, swimming closer to him. He put his hands on Tony’s shoulders, stretching up, and placed a chaste kiss to his lips. “See you soon.”

“Yup,” Tony agreed. “Won’t be more than a week.”

“’kay.” Steve smiled at him before flopping backward into the water, splashing him.

Tony squealed, skittering backward. “Steve!

“Adorable,” Steve said, grinning at him, then yelped and ducked under the water when Tony threatened to throw a rock at him.

“Jerk!” Tony yelled at the water, but he was smiling.

Steve’s smiling face poked out of the water. “See you in a week!”


Bucky frowned. “Maybe his trip got extended. He said that happened sometimes.”

“Maybe,” Steve mumbled, laying his head on his arms.

Bucky sank in the water so just his eyes were visible, staring balefully at the rocky little cove where Tony always met them—met Steve, anyway. It was going on the third week.

Steve sat up suddenly, turning to scowl at him. “You really hurt him last time, you know?”

“I’m sorry,” Bucky muttered, more sincerely than he’d ever said it to Tony’s face. “I didn’t think I had him that tight. I’ll apologize when he comes back.”

Steve wasn’t finished. “He thinks you don’t like him!”

Bucky grimaced. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Tony, he just… he just didn’t know how to deal with humans. Especially when Tony had very blatantly stared at his left arm—he was already self-conscious about how it looked, he didn’t need someone judging him for it.

“I’ll apologize when he gets back. For real this time,” he snapped, then ducked under the water petulantly so he couldn’t hear what Steve said next. He curled his tentacles anxiously. He would apologize.


He wouldn’t apologize.

Bucky snarled as he crawled up the beach. Sand was getting in his suckers. He hated dry sand. It was itchy and gross. He was chafing. He hoped Steve appreciated what he was doing! And he hoped that Steve kicked Tony’s ass when he dragged him back down to the beach! Who the hell says ‘I’ll be back in a week’ and then just fucking leaves for six months?!

Tony’s house was locked up tight, but there were lights on.

Bucky muttered to himself and squeezed one of his tentacles through the keyhole, slapping around until the tip of it caught the deadbolt and unlocked it. He fell through the door with a yelp and dull ‘splat’ as his tentacles spread out to try and catch him but didn’t do it fast enough. “God fucking damn it.” He paused when he saw what looked like an aquarium nearby, emptied of fish and water. He sneered at it.

He’d barely crawled his way through the living room when he heard footsteps. He stopped, curling down into the floor, tentacles shifting and changing color to match the wood beneath him.

Tony came stumbling out of a hallway, wild-eyed. “Bucky?!”

Bucky would have asked how he knew it was him, but how many people with tentacles did Tony know? “You said you’d be back in a week,” he said accusingly. “Steve misses you.”

“I miss Steve,” Tony blurted out immediately, looking confused. “But—you should be happy. Because I’m not hogging him anymore? You don’t—you don’t like it when I spend time with Steve.”

…Maybe he would apologize anyway. But only for making Tony think Bucky didn’t like him, not for accidentally hurting him!

“It’s not that I don’t like you spending time with Steve,” Bucky told him icily, and did not expand that he was suspicious anytime Steve spent time away from him. “And anyway that doesn’t matter. He’s been waiting at the cove every week for six months to see you and what—you just couldn’t be bothered?!”

“I can’t,” Tony said, and if Bucky hadn’t been so angry he might have noticed the way the human’s eyes went round with fright.

“You can’t or you’re just tired of us? The novelty wore off of actually knowing mers?” he spat, and waved around at the human’s big ugly house. “What, are you looking for something new now? Something more interesting?”

Tony took a step back, hurt. “It’s not—I want to come see Steve-!”

“Good,” Bucky snapped, reaching out a tentacle to wrap around the brunet’s wrist. “If we leave now he’ll probably be there.”

Tony stumbled a few steps, clawing at the tentacle around his wrist. “No-! Bucky, I can’t—Let me go!”

“Do you know what all you’ve even put Steve through?!” Bucky asked, dragging him out the door and to the stairs carved into the rock leading down to the beach.

“Let me go, Bucky, I—” Tony shuddered as he heard the waves brushing up against the sand, tugging more insistently. “I can’t, I can’t—BUCKY I CAN’T!”

Bucky yelped as Tony tore his wrist free, falling forward, but he caught himself this time. He turned, frowning in confusion, and made a concerned noise when he saw Tony curled up on the ground. He shuffled over to him. Tony was trembling and making the same terrible noise that he’d made when Bucky hadn’t known he couldn’t breathe underwater, like he was drowning. But he couldn’t be drowning, they hadn’t even made it close to the water—

Tony gasped in a big breath, then went back to that terrible wheezing noise.

Bucky began wrapping his tentacles around the man, trying to uncurl him. “Tony, you need to breathe!”

“I can’t-!” Tony choked out, tears clinging to his lashes. “I can’t.

Bucky got the unsettling feeling that Tony wasn’t just talking about being able to breathe.


“They… drowned him?” Steve asked, brows furrowed together in confusion. “But you said he was still alive.”

Bucky held his hands out helplessly. He didn’t really understand the explanation he’d been given. “They drowned him but they made him breathe again afterward?”

“That’s horrifying.”

“Yeah, well,” Bucky muttered, crossing his arms with a scowl. “I guess they only had him for three months. He tried coming down after he got home because he knew you’d be worried but as soon as he saw the water he… like an anemone, when you scare them? Just—” He gripped his hands together into a ball. “—Schlp. There he went. He did that when I was trying to bring him down.”

Steve’s lips moved silently, copying the noise Bucky had made. “I never would have described anemones like that but okay.”

“You know what I meant,” Bucky snapped.

“Okay, but, how am I supposed to see him if he won’t come down?” Steve asked, frowning, and crossed his arms. “I’m glad he’s okay. …Ish. But I’d still like to see it with my own eyes.”

Bucky did not say that seeing him with his own eyes probably wouldn’t help him decide that Tony was okay. Instead, he silently held up the three buckets he’d dragged down the stairs with him.

“…What… what are you even planning with this?” Steve asked suspiciously. “You’re not gonna try to carry me, are you?”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “I can’t carry you; we’ll both fall down the stairs. But I can keep you wet. Do you think you can make it up the stairs?”

Steve turned to squint at the carved stone steps. “…If you keep me wet enough, I should be able to.” He yelped when Bucky immediately threw one of the buckets of water on him. “I’M NOT OUT OF THE WATER YET YOU ASSHOLE.”

“I’m practicing.”

Steve was tempted to tackle him into the sand because he knew how much Bucky hated getting sand in his tentacles but he was too worried about Tony to follow through.


“Oh,” Tony said, hopeful and sad all at once.

Steve looked up from where he was sprawled out on the wood floor in a large puddle. “Sorry about your floor.”

“What are you—That’s not going to be comfortable!” Tony exclaimed when he noticed Bucky dumping a bucket of water into the empty aquarium.

“Well he’s gotta stay wet somehow,” Bucky reasoned. Steve wasn’t like Bucky, who could do well out of water for a time because of his slimy mucus. His scales and gills dried out. His chest was already heaving with effort.

“What happened to your wrist?” Steve asked, concerned.

Tony moved to hide his wrist behind his back, then stopped. It was too late anyway. He looked down at his wrist, frowning, and rubbed the bruises from Bucky’s suckers gently. “Bucky was trying to take me to see you. I—I panicked. I couldn’t get the right words out and I couldn’t say the right thing. So I just. Um. Yanked.”

Steve held his hands out and made a quiet noise when the brunet obediently offered him his arm, thumb trailing over the little round bruises. “Ouch.”

“It didn’t hurt that bad,” Tony insisted.

“Yeah, because you were a little busy trying to breathe,” Bucky muttered.

“ACK!” Steve exclaimed when Bucky’s tentacles wrapped around him and lifted him off the floor.

Tony couldn’t help a smile. “That’s never not going to be funny.”

Steve yelped as he was dropped into the aquarium. It was true—it wasn’t comfortable. His tail curled up at the end awkwardly and the glass dug in under his armpits. Still, he already felt better with his tail submerged, and he felt almost normal when he splashed water on his gills. He accepted the bucket Bucky handed him and shoved his head into it, taking a few deep breaths so he could wet the insides of his gills as well.

When he pulled his head back out, he saw Tony hadn’t moved, and was instead chewing on his bottom lip anxiously. “…Even this amount of water bothers you?” Steve asked sadly.

“I can’t, um—I can’t even shower,” Tony admitted quietly, shoulders hunching with shame. “I just. Use a damp washcloth. To get clean.”

“It’s not your fault they made you fear the water,” Steve insisted when the brunet’s shoulders hunched even more.

Bucky couldn’t help but curl a tentacle over Tony’s shoulders, he looked so sad. “Yeah, that’s on them. Any human would be afraid of the water after drowning.” When the human didn’t look convinced, he grumbled and muscled him down to coil the rest of his tentacles around him.

Tony let out a slightly hysterical giggle. “I’ve seen porn like this.”

“Well, if you want me to fuck you with my sperm tentacle, you have to say please.” Bucky smirked when the human choked. “And then don’t be mad about the mess. I know Steve was mad the first time I came in him.”

“It was slimy and everywhere!” Steve exclaimed indignantly. “And inky. Oh my God. You stained my scales. The other mers laughed at me all week!”

Tony giggled again, flustered. “Oh my God.”

“Don’t laugh!” Steve whined. “This asshole wasn’t even sorry!”

“Why would I be sorry? Everyone could see that you were mine.” Bucky loosened up his hold on Tony when he felt him relaxing. “Plus it’s not like I’m the filthy one here. You’re the one that asked me to ink on your face while we were above water.”

“Shut up!” Steve shrieked, flushing pink, and shoved his head back into the bucket.

“He’s just embarrassed because he doesn’t want you to think he’s a deviant,” Bucky whispered, smirking.

Tony tilted his head. “Is he? A deviant, I mean.”

“Well, octo- or squid-mers and fish-mers are kind of odd couples. We’ve been more accepted in recent years,” Bucky added thoughtfully. “The older folks might think he’s deviant. I don’t know why. Who would willingly pass up tentacles? I can have one in his mouth, one wrapped around his dick, and another inside his—”

“Yup,” Tony cut in quickly, squirming. “I can see how the older generation would find that deviant.”

Bucky looked at one of his tentacles, twisting it this way and that. “Also the texture is way different than a dick. It’s squishy. I mean, I squeezed it through your keyhole.”

“Yeah, I saw the video, that was kinda gross not gonna lie.”

Steve lifted his head from the bucket. “Yeah, it takes a little getting used to, but Bucky’s really good with them.”

Tony buried his face in his hands. “Can we talk about literally anything else because I didn’t actually plan for that to be anything but a joke.”

“A shame,” Bucky sighed. “But if you ever change your mind—”

“I’ll let you know,” Tony squeaked, cutting him off.


They eventually got Tony to be willing to come close to the aquarium after a couple weeks. But that might have mostly been because it took Bucky a hell of a lot more effort to carry a fresh bucket of water to Steve to breathe through.

“I’ll probably never be able to approach the waterline again,” Tony admitted miserably instead of accepting their praise. “Just thinking about it—”

“Hey, no, that’s fine,” Steve hurried to say. “You bought a bigger tank just for me. I don’t mind coming up here. Especially since you rigged that basket so we don’t have to climb the stairs anymore.”

“Not that Steve actually minded the stairs,” Bucky added in a drawl. “‘Buck, look at my triceps! Buck, look at my shoulders!’ I wanted to push him down the stairs but he would have just crawled back up saying ‘extra reps!’”

Steve stared at him, disappointed. “Why must you constantly embarrass me in front of Tony?”

“I think your biceps are amazing, Steve,” Tony offered.

Steve pointed in Bucky’s face smugly. “HA.”

“Don’t encourage him!” Bucky exclaimed, betrayed. “I have to go home with this guy! I hear enough of him being a smug asshole without you helping!”

“…I find it hard to believe that you are not also a smug asshole,” Tony said after thinking it over. “Otherwise you wouldn’t be friends.”

Bucky opened his mouth, then closed it thoughtfully. “…Well. You’re not wrong, I suppose.”

“The sex is good too,” Steve added helpfully. “I’d stay for the sex.”

Tony snorted. “A ringing endorsement.”

Steve hummed, smiling, and ducked his face into the bucket to wet his gills before he sat back up. “Would you ever get in the aquarium with me?”

Tony’s grip immediately tightened around the glass, knuckles going white. He closed his eyes, visibly trying to ground himself as his breath caught in his throat. Steve would have touched his hand, but he was wet and he didn’t want to make it worse for Tony.

Bucky frowned, concerned. “Hey, you don’t have to get into the aquarium. Steve was just wondering. I mean you made really good progress already, you can stand next to it!”

“I just… I really miss hugging you, is all,” Steve admitted quietly.

Tony’s hands were shaking, but he eventually wheezed out, “I can try.”

When Tony curled up on the ground trying to wheeze in a breath after trying, Bucky’s tentacles curled around him, Steve gaped at him. “I didn’t believe you.”

“Why wouldn’t you believe me about this?!” Bucky snapped.

Steve curled his hands into a ball. “Schlp. There he went.”

Bucky’s lips twitched with the want to smile, but this was really not the time to laugh.


Tony did eventually get in the tank with him. There was barely enough water to keep Steve’s tail damp, but Tony was already shaking when Steve wrapped his arms around him, so he didn’t say anything. He’d missed this—Tony always felt perfect in his arms. He ignored how slight and fragile Tony felt, ignored the thought that maybe Tony didn’t eat enough or was so anxious all the time living by the ocean that he could hardly keep food down. Instead he curled his arms tighter around him and lifted his tail so Tony’s pants stopped soaking up the minuscule amounts of water, so he’d stay drier.

“’m sorry,” Tony mumbled into his shoulder. “I used to be able to swim. Now I can barely sit in an inch of water.”

Bucky curled his tentacles over the side of the tank. “Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault that other people hurt you.”

Steve stroked a hand through his hair. “Besides, this is fine. I… was starting to think I might never see you again.” He pressed his nose into Tony’s hair and took a deep whiff. He still smelled the same, human scents that Steve couldn’t name that made up a scent purely Tony. “I don’t know what I thought had happened to you, to be honest.”

“Whatever you think of will probably never be as bad as what actually happened,” Tony croaked, shivering.

No, Steve and Bucky agreed silently. They supposed not.


They got Tony up to three inches of water. He still trembled with fear, but seemed to do alright if he was clutching onto Steve or if Bucky had his tentacles wrapped around him.

“You know we’d never let anything happen to you, right?” Bucky asked one night. “I know I was an asshole when we first met—I didn’t know you couldn’t breathe underwater. But after I learned that you couldn’t, I wouldn’t have let you drown.”

“Yeah, you’d just grip him too tight,” Steve muttered into Tony’s shoulder. The bruises around his wrist had healed, but here were still some vaguely sucker-shaped prints on the back of his left leg.

Bucky glared at him. “What if I just wrapped one of my tentacles around your neck?”

Tony giggled just a touch hysterically. “It’s hard to focus on being scared when you two are bickering like an old married couple.”

“We wouldn’t survive marriage,” Bucky said. “Or, well. Steve wouldn’t survive marriage. Because I’d murder him.”

“How do you know I wouldn’t murder you, huh?!” Steve exclaimed, clutching Tony tighter. “Tony could be my new husband then!”

Bucky scoffed. “Don’t be stupid, Steve. I’ve seen the way he looks at my tentacles—”

“—With terror?”

“—With curiosity,” the brunet added, glaring at him. “I bet he’d love to have my tentacles in him. Besides, I can survive longer out of the water than you.”

Steve scoffed back at him. “Please. Tony could make a nice big tank for me. And even if he didn’t, I’d figure something out.” He gave the human a pat on the butt, making him squeak in surprise. “My husband would need me, after all.”

“You guys are too much,” Tony giggled, hiding his face in Steve’s neck.

“I think we’re just enough,” Steve teased, smiling, because the brunet had stopped trembling as much. “Don’t worry, Tony. I’ll let you know when I’m going to kill Bucky so you can at least say goodbye.”

“What!” Bucky squawked indignantly.

Steve tilted his head. “Although you really should try out the tentacles at least once before he dies. It is certainly something.”

“Listen you piece of shit,” Bucky began, crawling up the side of the tank and looming over the blond. “If anyone is getting murdered here it’s gonna be you for your smart mouth!”

“Boop,” Steve said, poking his nose, because he was ridiculously unafraid of everything.

Bucky snarled. “Steve!

Tony threw his head back with a bark of laughter. Even though he really missed the sound Steve made every time Bucky yanked him under the surface out of jealousy, he much preferred this bickering to Bucky mulishly glaring at him from under the water.

“That’s it,” Bucky snapped, and then Tony yelped as a pair of tentacles wrapped under his arms and lifted him from the tank. “This is mine now.”

“Noooo Bucky come on!” Steve whined, making grabby hands.

Bucky dumped an empty bucket onto his head with a clang.

“ACK!”

Tony laughed again. “I missed that noise.”

“I will make sure he makes that noise often,” Bucky promised, cradling the brunet in his tentacles. He smiled smugly at Steve when the blond pushed the bucket up and glared at him balefully. “It’s the same one he made when I first penetrated him.”

Steve slung the bucket at Bucky’s head with an angry screech. “Stop embarrassing me!

Bucky tipped backward from the force, stunned. “Ow! What the fuck, Steve?!

Steve reached out to try and grab Tony back. “He was mine first!”

“Hey!” Tony laughed as he was tugged up against the tank, but Bucky’s tentacle around his waist held fast. “Come on, I’m a person! I only belong to me!”

“…No,” Steve and Bucky told him, then began tugging again.

Tony squawked, then went back to laughing. “You guys are impossible!”

“Tenacious,” Steve corrected, giving a mighty tug that brought his feet up off the ground.

“Yeah, that,” Bucky agreed, then jerked back, more tentacles flying up to wrap around Tony for a better grip.

The squabble eventually ended with Steve and Bucky violently making-out in the tank. Tony clutched his chest because those kisses looked like they hurt.


(They did hurt, but just the right amount, he learned later.)

  • me: i love tony stark. i love acknowledging his mistakes and bad qualities bc a good character is a flawed character. i love tony stark.
  • someone: i hate tony stark!! he's a VILLAIN, and he's SELFISH and not important!! people should NOT love him!!1!
  • me:
  • me: i love tony stark. tony stark is absolutely perfect. unproblematic fav. incredible. i would give my life for this flawless specimen of a human ebing

anonymous asked:

How about a sad Tony that has to face the Rogue Avengers alone because the Guardians are in a mission and the Avengers are mean with him, but then the guardias return?

(what is wrong with me. I said short. This isnt short! :D hope you like it anyway.)

Tony isn’t an Avenger anymore. Or more like he never was one.

Fury told him that he was just a consultant. Always was. That he was never a real avenger and just sort of their mechanic. Sure Iron Man was great. Tony Stark? Not so much.

And now he was back to being their servant. Just a month ago Fury got the avengers back to the tower. They weren’t criminals anymore but still under a sort of arrest.

They could leave the tower but there would always be police unit with them. (Not that they could’ve stopped an angry captain america. But whatever.)

Still. They were back and Tony doesn’t know how Fury did managed that but he did. Even Barnes was there. Still frozen but in Tonys home.

And he couldn’t do anything about it or he would never be an avenger.

“Sir? Sergeant Ross on the phone.” says Friday in her monotone voice. Tony looks down at that.                

“Alright. Lets hear him.” says Tony but he doesn’t stops working. He needs to finish Clints bow today and after that he has to look after Barnes again. And Natasha wants her new jacket by tomorrow.

Tony shuts his eyes.

“Stark? Did you already read Furys report? Is there anything we can do?” asks Ross and he sounds already annoyed. Tony sighs.

He turns around and see the four folders from Fury. He hasn’t even started.

“Uh…No i have other things…and…” stutters Tony and he groans mentally. Normally he would’ve a sarcastic remark but he is…he is just tired.

“I don’t care. I need something to hold it against them.” says Ross again and Tony has to shut his eyes again.

Like kill my mom? Or keep that a secret?

“Yeah…i will do it after…” starts Tony again but Ross on-hooked already.

“Sir? Mister Quill send another message.” says Friday this time and Tony wants to scream.

“I bet about the new taser for him. I know.” says Tony and makes a gesture with his hand. He doesn’t have the time to read Peters message. Doesn’t matter how much he likes his silly letters.

He doesn’t have the time.

“Okay Friday it’s already after lunch. I have to check on Barnes.” says Tony and Friday shuts the workshop down.

Tony goes over to the elevator and can’t help himself but reads Peters message anyway. He smiles. He misses him so much. All the Guardians. Sometimes they visit him to get new tech but they write him everyday. Even Rocket.

The elevator stops and Tony sees Barnes in the corner. He sighs. Its his task to look after him and to make sure that he puts a new system in him. When he doesn’t have those words in his brain anymore Tony can wake him up.

He studies the results and nods. Looks good, but its still not enough to wake him up. He needs to be sure or the winter soldier would do something really bad again.

And…then its Tonys fault. Again.

“Sometimes i wish i could kill you…” says Tony towards Barnes. He isn’t sure if Barnes can hear him, but he hopes he doesn’t.

Sometimes i wish everything would’ve gone another way. Sometimes i wish we could have been friends, Barnes. You seemed like a nice guy when you didn’t fight me.

“Maybe you would like to think over your words again.”

Tony is so close to screaming at that but he only does a little whimper.

“What are you doing here?” asks Tony when he calmed himself down again. Steve shrugs.

“Looking after him. And hearing you threaten him.” says Steve and he looks so disappointed in Tony.

“Hm.” says Tony and puts the results back on the table.

“Is he ready?” asks Steve when Tony sits down on that chair.

“No.” is Tony only answer and this time he jerks away when Steve hits onto the table in front of him.

“Damnit! Tony you said it would only take you days! Now its been weeks.” says Steve and he is angry. Tony is so glad the shield isn’t with him or he would’ve freak out.

“I-i’m sorry.” says Tony and tries to busy himself with the results again.

“Ey Stark!” says Clint now. Tony hasn’t seen him enter the room. But it doesn’t matter.

“Hm?” says Tony again and he doesn’t look up.

“Where’s my bow?” asks Clint and Tony sighs. He forgot it in the workshop. And its not finished either.

“Not ready.” says Tony softly but Clint groans.

“Dude you have like what one task and you can’t even do that?” says Clint and Tonys next breath is a bit watery.

“He hasn’t finished Buckys process either.” says Steve and Tony makes himself smaller.

“Man i know that he got old but that he doesn’t even remember to do the things we tell him.” says Clint and he laughs at that.

Tony wishes he could go now. But is afraid to move. What if Steve beats him again?

“I told you we should find another mechanic.” Wanda stands in the doorway and her glimpse is so cold. Tony can see a bit of red in her eyes and he looks quickly away.

“Yeah i think Shield can help us.” says Clint now and Tony wants to laugh. Wants so say: yeah and who pays for everything you want or destroy? Or: yeah try and find a genius like me!

But he just swallows. He is done.

“Ohhh looks like we are a bit late for the party.” says now someone and Tony gasps. Peter stands there and he looks angry.

Oh no, thinks Tony, he is also angry at me. Fuck he should’ve done his taser first.

“Quill.” says Steve and he even rolls his eyes. The Avengers and the Guardians aren’t friends. At all. But the Guardians work together with them sometimes. Its how they’ve met.

“Where is the raccoon.” snickers Clint and when Rocket shows up a moment later he hisses at Clint. Tony would like to smile at that but he is still afraid.

“Hey Tony.” says Peter and then goes over to him. He lays his hand on Tonys shoulder. Tony holds his breath.

“So what exactly are you doing here?” asks Peter and Tony wants to explain that he was just looking for Barnes and then he would go back in his workshop and do the bow. And the taser. And Natashas jacket.

But Peter doesn’t look at him. He looks at Steve.

“We talked to Tony about a few … disagreements.” says Steve and Rocket snicker at that.

“Looked more like you threaten our friend.” says Rocket and he hops on Clints shoulder. The archer doesn’t flinch but Tony can see Rockets sharp claws in Clints shoulder.

“And if you do that again we might have to hurt you. Drax you would like that, right?” says Peter and Drax grins.

“I want to take the Captain. He looks like he could use a punch.” laughs Drax at that and Steve frowns at that.

“I will remember that. So if you are going to yell at Tony ever again or only say something that we don’t like, we will take care of you, do you understand me?” says Peter and when Clints start to open his mouth Rocket claws him again.

“He should just finish his job.” says Wanda now and in a blink Gamora his behind her. Her sword at Wandas neck.

“He can do what he wants. He isn’t your employee. You should feel lucky that he even does a single thing for you, after what you did to him, witch.” says Gamora and Wandas eyes glow red.

“Try harder. You know your little magic isn’t working on me or Drax.” says Gamora grinning. And she is right. Tony doesn’t know why but its useless.

“Okay stop! I don’t understand why you are so angry.” says Steve and Peter turns to him.

“Because you treat our friend like shit! And i won’t let you do that anymore. So be thankful if he helps you, but if he doesn't… well tough luck.” says Peter and when he holds his hand up, Rocket jumps back to the ground and Gamora puts her sword away.

“Alright.” says Steve even though he looks still so angry.

A moment later Tony is alone with the guardians. He is still shaken a bit.

“Oh uh… i will start with your Taser now.” says Tony and when he wants to stand up, Peter holds him down.

“Nope. Wanna tell us what that was?” asks Peter and Tony shakes his head. He isn’t even sure what it was.

“Alright. Tony you know that you are an avenger, too right? You can tell them to go fuck themselves. You should take a break when you need it.” says Gamora and she smiles at him.

“I’m not…” says Tony and looks down at his hands. They shake.

“What?” asks Rocket and jumps on the table right in front of Tony.

“I’m only a consultant.” says Tony and he sounds as bitter as he feels.

“I hate humans.” says Drax.

“I am Groot.” says Groot.

“Yeah i hate humans but Peter and Tony.” says Drax then.

“A consultant? Fuck that. You are right you aren’t an Avenger.”  says Peter and he claps Tonys shoulder.

Its hurts even more when somebody else says it outloud.

“Because you are a guardian of the galaxy.” finishes Peter and Tony looks up at him.

“What?”

“He means if you want. You are welcome on our team.” says Gamora and Rocket climbs onto his lap.

“We are already a weird family. So you should join.” grins Rocket and Tony laughs watery.

“Really?” he asks because of course he wants that!

“Really. And for now. Forget about those idiots. What do you want to do?” asks Peter and Tony shrugs.

“Still need to finishes Clints bow. And Natasha’s jacket. Your taser. Oh and Ross told me i should read…” says Tony and he knows that he babbles.

Drax laughs.

“Wrong. You need to watch a movie with us.” says Peter and Groot shrieks at that.

“I am Groot.”

“Yeah and eat ice-cream.” laughs Gamora and Tony can’t believe his luck.

And when he cried when he gets is official guardian jacket, well nobody needs to know.

Besides Peter who kisses him silent, when Tony stars babble again.

what’s this? It’s Gilbert the Globe as a human person! He’s a cool history teacher getting close to retirement and knows how to have fun in the classroom~ He loves his students, but not as much as he loves his grandson, Tony! When Tony came out as a kid, Gilbert accepted him for who he was, even when his parents didn’t (。•́︿•̀。)

valkyrieofmarvel  asked:

Fic Request: Tony loved, supported, and protected by the guardians of the galaxy, while Team Cap tries to fight (unsuccessfully) for Tony's attention

I’m not gonna lie, I wrote this in my glitching phone with really iffy characterization for the Guardians of the Galaxy characters. Here you go though:

Tony meets the so called ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ when their ship crashes and the UN sends the Avengers to investigate. Of course by this point the Avengers are simply Vision and Tony, occasionally Peter, but they go anyways Tony once again forcing himself to put on the suit and ignore the memories of the chest plate being ground down into the tender scar tissue below.

Vision leans forwards to rip the door of the ship open right as it’s inhabitant throws it open. Tony can’t help but start as he makes direct eye contact with what appears to be a raccoon with a gun.

He hesitates only for a moment before clearing his throat. “Do you speak English?”

“What planet is this,” the Racoon asks before he turns his head back to scream into the ship. “Quill, come deal with these things!”

“This is Earth,” Vision answers serenely as Tony attempts to process that the animal does in fact speak. “May we ask why you’ve landed here?”

The raccoon opens his mouth to reply, but is cut off by the appearance of a green woman who snaps at him. “Say nothing Rocket, we know nothing about them.”

“This isn’t my first rodeo,” the animal, Rocket, snarls at her.

“I am the Vision, and this is Ironman,” the android introduces them. “We’ve been sent by the United Nations to determine whether you pose a threat to society.”

“Depends,” Rocket smiles, “Got any shit for us to steal?”

A man, who appears to be human, suddenly surfaces behind the other two. “Sorry I took so long, what’s this about?”

“What’s your intent here on earth?” Tony finally asks as he takes off the helmet to make eye contact with him. “Because I have a ton of other shit right now and I don’t need to deal with another alien invasion.”

“I’m Peter,” the man tells them. Then he jerks a thumb at his two companions, “This is Gamora, and that’s Rocket. We also have Groot and Drax onboard. We weren’t actually planning on invading we kinda crashed.”

Tony digs the heels of his hands into his eyes, “How long will it take you to repair your ship?”

“I don’t know,” Rocket scowls, “You showed up and interrupted me in the middle of the diagnostics!”

“A week?” Peter guesses with a shrug. “The thermal protection unit is down.”

“Very well,” Vision says, “We’ll have to request you come meet with the UN than, at the very least so that we can prevent a global panic.”

“Another one, you mean.” Tony mutters under his breath his eyes flicking down towards his chest.

Eventually, the Avengers manage to get all of the Guardians except for Drax to come with them. The Guardians simply refused to leave the ship alone, and decided that Drax’s literalness would contribute the most confusion to their discussion with the UN.

Tony does his best not to stare at the fact that the plant Rocket is carrying is most definitely alive and moving. Instead he focuses on what happening in the UN meeting, trying not to remember what happened with the last group of so called heros you he’d been here with.

Eventually, everything is sorted out except for where the ship repairs and Guardians housing will be. Tony hasn’t been listening for a while now, not when Vision’s voice still makes him mourn for Jarvis.

“We could stay with Mr. Stark,” Quill says, catching his attention.
Tony bites his lip. “The compound is available, and Vis can keep an eye on them when I’m gone.”

And that’s that, Tony finds himself caring for yet another superhero team.

However this team tries not to take advantage of him, promising to compensate him once they figure out how to convert credits to American momdollars.

Tony can’t help but become fast friends with them all. It’s not like with the Avengers where they didn’t understand how much effort she Tony put into their care. These criminal heros he met days ago somehow manage to be more thoughtful than a team of superheroes he’d known for years.

It isn’t automatic, but Tony comes to appreciate all of the guardians in a way he never could the Avengers. Rocket and him share a love of mechanics, Peter and him for music. He has a healthy respect for Gamora who reminds him of how Natasha could’ve been. As for Drax and Groots, he finds them funny and cute respectively.

At When the Guardians repair their ship, Tony can’t help the sadness that fills him. He knows they have to leave, has been anticipating it, but he still can’t help but wish they could stay longer.

“Don’t worry,” Peter winks at him, “We’ll be back soon.”

And they are; the Guardians attempt to visit once a month minimum, often bringing him and Vision small trinkets from their travels.

“Do I want to know where you got this?” Tony asks once.

There’s a small pause on Peter’s end, “Probably not.”

“You know what,” Tony sighs, “It’s not my Jurisdiction, i only work on Earth.”

When they return and discover that the Rouge Avengers are due to come back for trial next week, they refuse to leave.

“As if we would leave you to deal with them alone,” Gamora grumbles when Tony asks why. “We’re friends.”

Tony manages to secure permission from the UN for the Guardians to come with him when the time for the prison transfer occurs. The Rouge Avengers had turned themselves in, and so T’challa would hand them over to Tony to bring to the UN today. Still, Tony didn’t want to be their alone. He couldn’t help that when he looked at them all he could see is red.

“They don’t deserve your respect,” Rocket tells him. “If they only turned themselves in after years of you revising the accords, of working for this, than they’re assholes who don’t really believe in the accords. Don’t respect them, and don’t trust them.”

“I am Groot!”

The Guardians and Vision stand behind Tony as he talks to T’challa and forces the Rouge Avengers to wait on him.

“Tony,” Steve calls out when he steps into the empty tarmac they’re meeting.

Rockets words echo in his head as Tony ignores Steve; he’s a criminal after all, and not even a simple thief like the Guardians. Steve is a terrorist, through and through.

“Thank you for overseeing their arrest, King T’challa,” Tony says as he firmly shakes the other man’s hand.

“Thank you for taking them,” T’challa says. “I am glad that we were able to work this out.”

There’s a snort behind Tony and a snide, “about time,” that Tony knows comes from Peter.

Both T’challa and Tony ignore him in favor of making their way over to the Rogues.

“Follow me,” Tony demands coolly before turning on a heel and making his way to the quinjet.

“Tony,” Steve calls out as they board, “How are you, how’s Rhodey?”

“Don’t say his name!” Tony hisses, glaring at him.

Drax comes to stand behind Tony, “I would sit down now, so we can secure your restraints”.

Steve glares at him defiantly, before finally taking a seat. The Guardians walk around to ensure none of the rogues can make any kind of escape, before they are content enough to sit back and watch from a distance.

“Are these really necessary?” Clint asks, shaking his hands and with them the chains that hang down.

“Yes,” Gamora tells him glaring. “And if you move I will not hesitate to harm you.”

Clint slowly lowers his arms and Wanda glowers at Tony, “So these are the kinds of people you work with now, alien thugs who are willing to hurt normal humans.”

“Better than terrorists,” Tony informs her bitingly. “Besides, she threatened to restrain a known criminal with a history of violence whereas with you guys I couldn’t even be sure that one wouldn’t be invited to live in my home.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Steve asks, and he sounds so confused.

Peter rolls his eyes, “It means Wanda messed with his mind and worked with Nazi’s but you still invited her to live with him. We understand friendship, we wouldn’t do that to him”.

“That isn’t how it-”

“Shut up!” Rocket screams, “No one gives a shit what you have to say.”

There’s a brief silence, until Vision speaks up.

“Thank you, Rocket.”

If You Get Killed, Walk It Off. (Avengers X Fem!Reader)

Characters: Avengers X Fem!Reader

Universe: Marvel, Avengers

Warnings: Grieving, supposed death, explosion, blood, death

ANGST

Request: woul you do one angst? The reader is in a mission with the avengers and then there is an explossion and the reader was in that building and everybody thinks that she died, and start to cry and remember how they love her, and finally she was ok, and goes with them and ask what happen? sorry if it is not ok with you


Originally posted by akamatthewmurdock

Originally posted by imultifandomstuff

Originally posted by dailymarvel

You were in another country with the other Avengers on a mission. There was sightings of HYDRA and so you went to try and find them and stop them before harm came to anyone.

You had narrowed it down to a few buildings and you went in one with Steve, Natasha, and Tony. Clint was watching from outside while you four went in to try and secure the building. You ordered all the people inside to evacuate, and while they did that you went searching for HYDRA agents.

You saw a man trying to sneak upstairs. “Hey!” You yelled and took off running. Steve went off to follow you while Tony and Natasha helped get people out.

Keep reading

Weekly Reading List 15

Weekly Recommendations get posted every Thursday. All stories are character x reader unless otherwise stated.

Star Trek
Bones
Hearts Don’t Break Down Here by @atari-writes
Broken Hearted, Part 2, Part 3 by @goodnightwife
Happy Hour by @medicatemedrmccoy
Should Have Stayed in Bed by @starshipsinthenight
“YOU HAD THAT ON YOU THE WHOLE TIME?!” by @happylilprompts
Heartbreak by @kimmiearrington89
Blue Shirt, Part 2 by @atari-writes
Parental Prospects by @outside-the-government
Eighteen by @paigeinastory

Jim Kirk
Double Dare Ya by @girl-next-door-writes
Date Night, Part 2 by @imoutofmyvulcanmind Part 2 NSFW
Untitled by @starshipsinthenight
Pancakes by @whatif-animagineblog
Worth It by @coyoteimagines

Avengers
Steve Rogers
What’s Between Us by @bovaria
Cause You Have My Heart by @marvelismylife
Raining Encounter by @allstoriesforallpeople
Bi-Rogers by @this-ginger-has-no-soul
Good Enough by @allthemarvelousthings
The Question by @itsanerdlife
Infatuated by @theunholygrails

Tony Stark
Bruises, Part 2 by @justareader

Law and Order: SVU
Rafael Barba
Imagine Rafael finding out you can speak Spanish by @svubloods
Courtroom Texting by @that-one-fangirl-person
Accidental Admission by @miamorbarba
3 A.M. Realizations by @miamorbarba
Better Late Than Ever by @miamorbarba
She’s a Keeper by @miamorbarba
Rafi Had To Decide by @ohbelieveyoume
Well, technically by @fanfictionforsvu
Shut Up And Let Me Show You by @fanfictionforsvu
Happy Birthday by @mrsrafaelbarba NSFW
Birthday Surprises by @vintagemichelle91
Good Neighbors: A Date Night by @ohbelieveyoume
A Chance Encounter Series: An Evening at SVU by @vintagemichelle91
You Drive Me Crazy by @thatgirlwhosalwayssinging NSFW
Imagine Being Barba’s Tailor by @svubloods
Breaking Free by @xemopeachx NSFW

NCIS
Tony DiNozzo
Always by @kaunis-sielu

Dwayne Pride
Professor Pride by @lucifersagents

Criminal Minds
Aaron Hotchner
Okay by @kaunis-sielu

Tropes
Soulmate AU
None this week (unless I missed one)

Modern AU
The Assistant, Part 2 by @rosekgold Steve Rogers
Bones by @stevergxrs
A Rancher’s Fight by @It-sammi-matthews

Daddy!Character
It Runs in the Family, Part 2 by @whatif-animagineblog Leonard McCoy 
Not My Speciality by @imagine-assembling-the-avengers Tony Stark
Another Human Life by @anotherstartrekimagineblog

A/B/O Dynamics
None this week

Misc Fandoms
Love of a Child by @leroyjethrogibbsandme Jethro GIbbs 
Untitled by @bonniebird The Avengers
A Personal Connection by @sebastianstandoffish Bucky Barnes
My Shot by @imagines-for-the-fangirls-soul Arthur Pendragon
Still Need a Way Out? by @see-the-fandom-imagines Arthur Pendragon
A Shocking Incident by @starshiphufflebadger Leonard McCoy/Carol Marcus

Karl Urban
Bedtime by @atari-writes Eomer 

Chris Evans
Dark Roads by @captainamerica-ce
Perfect Boyfriend by @thing-you-do-with-that-thing
Imagine late night chats with Chris by @ohevansmycaptain
Imagine Chris admitting he’s still in-love with you by @ohevansmycaptain 
Imagine Chris spying on you. by @ohevansmycaptain
Imagine Chris taking care of you by @ohevansmycaptain
Imagine Anthony teasing Chris about you by @ohevansmycaptain

Birthday Challenge Updated

Star Trek Fairytale AU Updated

My Requests Updated

tags: @thelawschooldiva @annalisehartmann @ravengirl94

darkly-stark  asked:

Tony and Peter come back to earth so Tony can introduce Pepper/Rhodey to his and Peters new child.

“Wow! It looks exactly like last time.” says Peter when they are in the living room of the Stark Tower.

“Well since we were here a year ago and nobody else lives here, yeah it does.” grins Tony and Peter sticks his tongue out.

He goes over towards their bedroom and opens the door. They are visiting earth because of their son. Tony said he wanted him to live on earth and space. Kinda like them.

So Rocket flew them here a few minutes ago but will leave again and help the guardians on xander out.

Peter looks at one of the wardrobe doors. The door leads towards a wardrobe bigger than his room is on the milano. Normally the door is a dark brown.

Now it’s a bright green.

“Uh Starlight?” calls Peter and looks at the door. Why the fuck would somebody come in here and paint the door green?

“Yes darling?” asks Tony back and a moment later he enters the room. Their son is still sleeping on his arm. Peter looks at them and smiles. Gosh he loves them so much.

“Your wardrobe door is green.” says Peter then and shows it to Tony.

“What the…” starts Tony and then looks down at his son.

“Heck?” he tries and Peter giggles. Tony tries so hard to be a good father and if you ask Peter he is the best.

“Well open it!” says Tony then and Peter does.

“Fuck.” says Peter and Tony gasps. But then he can see whats behind the door and swears, too.

Its a nursery. And what a wonderful one. There is a cute little crib on their right. A changing table and so many toys.

“Do you like it?” asks Pepper behind them and Peter nearly jumps at that.

Tony turns around to her and Peter can see tears in his eyes.

“I l-love it.” says Tony and sobs. Peter takes his son from him, so Tony can hug Pepper. Peter sees now Rhodey behind Pepper and nods at him. Rhodey smiles back.

Peter has met Pepper and Rhodey a lot in the last years and he really likes them. (He may be a bit afraid of Pepper, but who isn’t?)

“Thank you, Pepper. Its really beautiful.” says Peter when Tony hugs Rhodey and kisses him wetly on the cheek.

“Its nothing. We made it two weeks ago, when we knew you would come home.” answers Rhodey and Pepper nods.

“Well now lets see our godson! I’m still angry at you for not showing us any pictures! I mean he is already 6 months.” says Pepper and Tony steps in front of Peter and his son.

“Uhm wait a minute, please?” says Tony and he takes a big breath.

“What is it?” asks Rhodey and he sounds worried.

“You know uhm… Peter and i are both…man and we can’t give birth to a child.” stutters Tony and Pepper rolls her eyes.

“Yeah no shit.” says Rhodey and Tony glares at him for using a swearword in front of his baby boy.

“Anyway…he isn’t human.” says Tony and looks down. He isn’t embarrassed of his son. He loves him more than the whole world. He would die for him.

But he is afraid that Pepper and Rhodey would look at him weirdly.
He can’t have them look at his son like that.

He remembers that when he was a kid everybody used to stare at him, just because he was famous. And now people would stare at his son…just because he doesn’t look like them.

Its hurts him. But he wouldn’t change a single thing about his son.

“Oh.” says Pepper but she just sounds surprised not disgusted. Peter goes over to her and takes the blanket from his son.

Pepper and Rhodey are silent. Tony wants to take his son back, but then Pepper takes him from Peter.

She snuffles and cuddles him.

“Whats his name?” asks Rhodey and he smiles. Tony can’t believe his luck. They like him.

“Yim.” says Tony and Rhodey nods. Its a mixture out of Jim and Yondu, that Tony made up. Peter loves him so much.

“Hey Yimmy.” says Rhodey now and holds his hand out. Yim grabs a finger and giggles.

“Oh he likes you.” says Pepper and then she is crying happily.

“Everybody likes me.” answers Rhodey easily and Tony laughs.

“He is beautiful.” says Pepper and Peter has to agree.

He doesn’t care that their son has blue skin. He doesn’t care that his son has aerials and purple eyes. He loves him, just the way Tony loves him.

Its their son. Thats the only thing that matters.

I don’t have the energy to write this right now but I needed to share it with you:

At one of Maria’s fancy galas, with so many humans, and little Tony is there in his cute little tuxedo. He’s even got his small talk down. Maria is very proud of him.

And Senator Webster leans down with a snide smile that Tony doesn’t understand and says, “And who’s a good boy?”

Tony blinks up at him guilelessly. Well, Mom always calls him a good boy when he behaves. “Me!”

And then Tony screams when Howard comes flying in out of nowhere and clotheslines Senator Webster before he has the chance to laugh about tricking Howard Stark’s son with a dog joke. Jarvis hustles Tony over to a crowd including Vernon Van Dyne and therefore Janet and Janet has already punched Tiberius Stone in the face without Tony being the wiser so he knows Tony will be in good hands.

I’m feeling a shapeshifter fic needing to be written??

I really just love the idea of tony being surrounded by the avengers and they are so comfortable shifting around him but he never shifts at all and finally steve and Bucky are like “maybe he can’t shift?” And they try to talk to him like “it’s alright if you can’t shift, Tony, it’s not a bad thing.”

And tony gets all huffy and pissy because he CAN shift, but it’s not into the fierce grey wolf like
Bucky or a lion like steve or a dragon like Tasha.

No when he shifts it’s into a scrappy little black cat with extra fluffy hair.

So he shifts just to get Bucky and steve off his back, but in cat form all they want to do is carry him around and sleep with him and scratch his ears so he purrs because kitty!Tony is the fluffiest cutest thing ever.

And tony gets sooo used to being snuggled and held by the big Bad super soldiers that when he’s in human form he ends up wanting to sit on Buckys lap, or pushing under Steve’s arms so he will rub his back.
But steve and Bucky want that too

And it all works out in something naked and fun and it turns out human tony purrs when he’s happy too???

I think I need to write this???

Because I haven’t really written stuckony and ahhhhh