i had a half hour conversation with myself debating what a human AU zenyatta would use to float, so here’s a pros and cons list:

skateboard - PROS; most socially acceptable. CONS; so 2000 and late

rollerskates - PROS; super comfortable. CONS; lucio would beat his ass

heelys - PROS; look cool and relatable with the kids. CONS; can only go down a gentle incline at best

longboard - PROS; doubles as a blunt trauma weapon. CONS; arguably the douchiest possible option 

hoverboard - PROS; its got hover in the name, glides the easiest without outward momentum. CONS; you probably have a vine account 

and it turns out if you stick anyone on a hoverboard and in a weed hoodie they become an asshole so

Didd you know that there is a satellite that orbits our planet and is set to crash-land on Earth in 8 million years? Its mission may surprise you. 

NASA has created satellites called LAGEOS, which are basically scientific satellites that study our planet. The LAGEOS satellite orbits our planet so that it can be seen from several ground stations around the world. LAGEOS design is beautiful, it is composed of an aluminum-covered brass sphere, the satellite is covered with 426 cube-corner retroreflectors which makes the Satellite look literally like a giant golf ball. Its primary mission isn’t that of carrying a message to the future inhabitants of our planet, but rather studying and monitoring its development. The main goal of the satellites is to accurately measure Earth’s shape and study the tectonic movements which are associated with continental drift.

So what makes this satellite so important? Well, the satellite is set to crash-land on our planet in 8 million years, carrying a special message to anyone that will inhabit our planet in the distant future. The message carried by LAGEOS are three different maps of Earth: One that is 268 million years old, one showing how Earth looks today and another map will show how the planet will look in the future. But who will inhabit our planet in 8 million years? Humans? Aliens? Or will life cease to exist on planet Earth?

Imagine that life “reboots” on our planet as it is believed to have happened millions of years ago. Primitive humans are inhabiting the planet and a weird sphere crash-lands on the planet. What would these “future” beings think the device is? Would they associate the LAGEOS satellite to celestial deities and gods? Perhaps like our ancestors did thousands of years ago?. If we have placed such a device into orbit around our planet, would it be weird if another species had done the same? And is it possible that there is written evidence of such devices in ancient texts and depictions found around the world. The LAGEOS satellite immediately makes me think of the famous black knight satellite!!!

Here comes a thought
That might alarm you
What someone said and how it harmed you
Something you did that failed to be charming
Things that you said are suddenly swarming

And, oh, you’re losing sight, you’re losing touch
All these little things seem to matter so much
That they confuse you
That I might lose you 

Take a moment, remind yourself
To take a moment and find yourself
Take a moment and ask yourself
If this is how we fall apart
But it’s not, but it’s not, but it’s not, but it’s not, but it’s not
It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay
You’ve got nothing, got nothing, got nothing, got nothing to fear
I’m here, I’m here, I’m here