hugo william

Which Classics Author Should You Fight?
  • Charles Dickens: The Victorian equivalent of a white male tumblr meninist. Fight his past newspaper blogger ass, though the guy does write about his own "tragic experiences", so be warned that a caricature of you will probably be appearing in his next novel.
  • The Brontes: idk they're from Yorkshire I wouldn't risk it
  • Dante Aligheri: Yess he spends all his time in his room writing self-insert Bible fanfic and never goes outside, 10/10 would fight this nerd. You will win. Easily.
  • Mary Shelley: Why would you want to fight Mary Shelley???? She's nice and bad things happened to her and she invented scifi! Go reevaluate your life choices.
  • Victor Hugo: Don't. He will kill you otp viciously and then spend 38 pages describing someone's hat.
  • Jonathon Swift: It's 50/50 you'll win, but you might fall asleep from his long-winded prose before you land a punch.
  • William Shakespeare: Little is known about him, other than the fact that he had free access to bears and swords and a penchant for revenge and mass murder as plot devices. If you're gonna fight him, watch your back.
  • C.S. Lewis: Whiny and allergic to adjectives and allegorical and super racist. Fight Him. So long as your childhood can take it.
  • J.R.R Tolkien: Shakespeare's biggest fan, so a total dork. Also old and shell shocked. Your call.
  • William Thackeray: Him and his friends will get drunk and gang up on you. Not advisable.
  • Alexandre Dumas: He was once described as "the most generous, large-hearted being in the world" and had extensive military training. Just... don't.
  • Harper Lee: Still alive, so she's got a foot up on the rest of them.
  • George Orwell: Total fuckin' politics nerd. Will keep a diary of the fight.
  • Jane Austen: You'd feel too mean, it'd be like punching some harmless lana del-ray book club chic. Fight her if you want but be aware of the emotional consequences.
  • Mark Twain: Constantly angry looking. Just look at that mustache. You want to fight him already, don't you?
  • Oscar Wilde: The sassiest little shit ever. Be prepared for cane wielding sassmeister. You'll probably lose, but it'll be worth it.
Famous writers and painters for every zodiac sign
  • Aries: Pablo Picasso and Gabriel García Márquez.
  • Taurus: Vincent van Gogh and Miguel de Cervantes.
  • Gemini: Ernest Hemingway and Rembrandt.
  • Cancer: Leonardo da Vinci and Jorge Luis Borges.
  • Leo: Miguel Ángel Buonarroti and William Shakespeare.
  • Virgo: Frida Kahlo and Charles Dickens.
  • Libra: Francisco de Goya and Edgar Allan Poe.
  • Scorpio: Joan Miró and Oscar Wilde.
  • Sagittarius: Pierre-Auguste Renoir and Victor Hugo.
  • Capricorn: Salvador Dalí and J. R. R. Tolkien.
  • Aquarius: Caravaggio and Truman Capote.
  • Pisces: Paul Cézanne and Franz Kafka.
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“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life.” - Richard Bach