Pairing : Bucky x reader
Warnings : ANGST, Sad ending
A/N : Well, I was listening to Happier by Ed Sheeran and this popped into my head.
Words : 1,482
REQUESTS ARE OPEN! REQUEST AWAY!
Happy. You were always happy with Bucky, you didn’t think it was possible to be happier. Everything was perfect with him. A bear hug from the super soldier was all it took to turn a bad day into a good one. You’d grown accustomed to his rough hands, yet surprisingly gentle grip; his soft and plump pink lips that kissed your nose so lovingly; his baby blues that you didn’t mind being lost in; his tall form towering over yours when he’d hold you; the way all of a sudden he’d hold your waist and pull you close; how he’d laugh, his tongue-behind-teeth smile. You’d grown accustomed to it – no, you’d fallen in love with it, with him.
So how’d you end up here? How’d you end up in an empty bed, waiting for him to come home at 2 am? How’d you end up crying yourself to sleep for 7 nights in a row? When did you stop feeling happy and start feeling unloved?Bucky was the love of your life, no matter the fights, the arguments, the screaming matches. You’d never seen anything like this before in your relationship, but you loved him, and you’d do anything to make your relationship work, even if making your relationship work meant fighting with him.
The Bucky you loved was different. The Bucky you loved was invested in your relationship, he made sure to never leave without kissing you, he baked chocolate cake with you, he made you pancakes with extra maple syrup; the Bucky you loved, love you. The Bucky you loved didn’t come home at 2 am –
Your thoughts were cut off by the sound of the door being unlocked. “Bucky?” your tired voice reached his ears, which was replied by as small ‘yes’. You immediately shot to you feet and walked in his direction. “Where were you?” You asked, looking at him. His hair was messy, his red Henley which you adored so much was crumpled and his eyes looked tired. “out,” he said, devoid of any emotions. “Well, as obvious as that was, it wasn’t what I meant.” Even if you’d been fighting, you were glad he was back home. Breathing a sigh of relief, you stepped closer, trying to pull him into a hug, only to be greeted with refusal.
This wasn’t the man you loved. Sure, they had the same face and physique, but they didn’t smell the same, hell, they didn’t feel the same. Your Bucky would never refuse to hug you, he took every chance he got to hold you. He smiled when you did, he laughed when you did. Your Bucky didn’t avoid your gaze, he didn’t stay out past midnight.
The Bucky you loved didn’t come home at 2 am smelling like cheap perfume. “Who is she?” It all became so clear- how he was avoiding you, and coming home late. It all made sense now.”Y/N,” “Who is she?” you asked, unaware of the tears streaming down you face. “I met her at the bar, she’s a waitress.” It felt as if your heart had been ripped out of your chest, and you were being forced to watch somebody stomping on it; as if someone kept stabbing you, waiting for enough time to let the wound heal, just to tear your all over again. Your silent cries had turned to loud sobs by now. Your body felt like it would collapse any moment now, and as if on cue, your legs gave out, causing you to sink to the floor. Tears clouded your vision, but not before you could see a certain super soldier coming your way.
“Bucky, you’re joking, right? It’s just a silly joke, because if not, it’s tearing me apart. Just tell me you’re fooling me.” “I wish I could, doll.” Taking a deep breath, you prepare yourself to speak, “ It’s already difficult as it is, so just tell me the truth and do not make me question you twice. Did you sleep with her?” There was a slight pause before he spoke, giving you a short-lived moment of hope. Fate, however, had different plans. “Yes,” your tears were flowing freely due to the newly acquired information. “Do you- do you love her?” “Y/N, I-” “Does she make you happy?” “Doll, listen to me-” “Are you happier with her?” “I am.” “well then,” you smiled sadly, “there’s no point in me holding you back. I’ll send somebody to get my stuff tomorrow.”
You got up, dusting your clothes. You took a few steps towards the door before you heard yourself speak, “Bucky? Can I have one last hug?” You walked back to him, fiddling with the hem of your t-shirt, hoping to hold the love of your life one last time. He wasted no time in pulling your into a bear hug, just like he always used to. You wrapped your arms around him, as tight as it was physically possible for you to, and a little more. When you let go, he stayed in the same position for a moment with a sad look on his face. You took in his features, his baby blues which were your favourite colour in this entire universe, his soft lips and his straight brown hair. Your let out a laugh which all too soon turned into a loud sob, which was cut off by Bucky pressing his lips to yours. His hands were in your hair, while yours cupped his face. You kissed him with all your might, savouring every second, trying to engrave in your mind how his lips felt against yours. You pulled away and wiped a tear from your face. “I love you so, so much, Bucky Barnes.” And with that, you left.
It had been eight months since you and Bucky had broken up.
Sure, it still hurt, but you’d never go back to him, not after what he did. You
missed him on windy days, you two would stay all day on the couch, cuddling and
watching horror movies, you missed him when you drank coffee – he always
grimaced at how sweet you liked it, you missed him when you went to sleep,
because your bed felt empty without him in it.
It was safe to say you missed Bucky Barnes.
After a lot of convincing from Natasha, you decided to go
out on a date. With whom, one might ask? Genius, Billionaire, Playboy,
Philanthropist. Turns out, Stark had a thing for brown-eyed, art loving, cake
eating, heart warmingly beautiful, yet unbelievably clumsy girls like you. You’d
been dating for three weeks before you two made if official. Tony had a changed
status, he was now only Genius, Billionaire, Philanthropist. He finally found
someone worth staying loyal to. You loved Tony, and you were genuinely happy,
after a long, long time.
It was safe to say you no longer missed Bucky Barnes.
After you two broke up, Bucky felt something snap inside of him. He rarely went out or socialized with the rest of the team. The only person he really talked to was Steve. When Steve got to know Bucky cheated on you, boy oh boy was he mad. He’d gone to his house with the full intention of punching him in the face and breaking his nose. “You cheated on her?” He asked, swinging his fist to Bucky’s face, which Buck stopped mid-way [thank God for his enhanced reflexes, Steve had a mean right hook]. “God damn it, punk. I’m a lot of wrong things but a cheater isn’t one of them. My ma raised me right.” Steve was taken aback.“Then why does- Oh my God, Bucky. You didn’t cheat on her, did you?” His eyes widened at the sudden realization. “No, you idiot, I just bought some ladies’ perfume and lathered it all over myself.” He smiled bitterly at Steve. “Why’d you do it?” Bucky wiped away a tear, “because she deserves to be happy. She deserves all the happiness in this world, and probably even more, and I can’t give that to her. She deserves to be happier.”
When Bucky did join everybody, it was on Steve’s birthday party. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you. He’d come to know you were engaged to Tony, after all, it had been three years since you broke up. He saw you in another man’s arms, walking towards the bar, laughing loudly at something Tony said. “You alright there pal?” Steve asked his best friend, patting his back. “She’s happier, Steve,” Bucky said, taking a big gulp of his beer. “Both their smiles are twice as wide as ours. She’s happier.” Steve smiled sadly at him, “You still love her, don’t you?” Bucky’s face had tears streaming down, smiling, he said, “I can always smile to hide the truth – that I was happier with her. But look at her, Steve, she’s happy – no, she’s happier.”