It’s the night of the Oscars. Actors and actresses fill the red carpet, pausing for pictures and stopping by for interviews.
Harry Styles, amongst others, is one of the most anticipated guests of the night. His spectacular performance for his role as “Alex” in his first solo film, “Dunkirk”, earned him a nomination for “best actor in a supporting role.” The film itself is nominated for several categories.
“How are you feeling tonight, Harry?” an interviewer from E!News, Zuri Hall, asks.
“Great,” he responds, rubbing his hands together and bringing it to his lips. “’m very happy to be here.”
“You look dashing!” she exclaims.
“Thank you,” he responds, smiling politely.
“I love the suit. Who’s it by?” Zuri asks, eyeing his all black ensemble with a hint of glimmer.
“Alessandro Michele— Gucci,” he answers.
The interviewer smiles in admiration of the handsome gentleman standing before her in his designer suit. “You have had quite the year,” she tells him, “or couple of years, I should say. Your album topped the charts and now Dunkirk.”
Harry chuckles humbly, refusing to admit his continuous rise to success. He simply says, “It’s always an honor to work alongside such talented individuals and to be entrusted with such a responsibility— every day has been a good one. I can’t thank ev’ryone enough.”
“What will you do if you win ‘actor in a supporting role’?” she asks.
Harry thinks for a short moment. “I think might cry,” he says jokingly, earning a laugh from the interviewer. “It would be quite the honor,” he goes on to say.
“Have you gotten a chance to catch up with anyone here yet?”
“Umm,” Harry hums, fingers slightly pinching his lips and his eyes roam around, “No, I haven’t run into anyone yet. I think they’re busy.”
The interviewers giggles and nods her head in agreement. Her eyes quickly scan the area and lands on [Y/N] walking by in a beautiful gown. [Y/N] is a young A-List actress nominated for her leading role in a romantic film. “[Y/N]!” she calls out as [Y/N] passes by her and Harry. [Y/N] catches sight of Zuri who gestures her over. [Y/N] lifts the bottom of her gown and walks carefully up the stairs. “I’m so sorry! I feel like I’m interrupting!” [Y/N] laughs and she’s greeted with a hug from Zuri.
“Hello,” [Y/N] says to Harry, extending her hand, “Pleasure to meet finally meet you.”
“The pleasure’s all mine,” he grins, exposing his deep dimples and smile lines. He takes [Y/N]’s hand and leans in to press his cheek against hers.
“Have you two not met before?” the interview asks in astonishment.
“No, we haven’t formally met,” Harry chuckles.
Zuri gasps. “Well I’ll be darned! [Y/N], Harry. Harry, [Y/N],” she introduces them, motioning from one to the other. “Harry hasn’t come across any of his co-stars yet,” Zuri tells [Y/N], “I thought he could use a friend.”
[Y/N] laughs, “Lucky me, I’m a fan.” She turns to Harry and says, “Congratulations on your nomination. ‘Dunkirk’ was a great film.”
“[Y/N] is nominated for “actress in a leading role’,” Zuri says to the camera.
“Thank you very much,” Harry bows his head, “Congratulations to you, too. You look beau’iful, by the way.” Harry smiles, looking adoringly at [Y/N].
“Yes! Give us a twirl!” Zuri says excitedly. Harry holds [Y/N]’s hand over her head as she twirls her grown for the camera.
A giggle comes out of [Y/N] as she smiles at the ground, feeling her cheeks heat up. “Thank you,” she says to Harry, “And what about you? You look very handsome, if I may say so myself. Doesn’t he?”
“Oh, stop,” Harry laughs.
Zuri notices [Y/N] and Harry both smiling, looking fondly at one another. “Alright, I won’t hold the two of you up any longer,” she says. “You’ve got a busy night. Thank you so much for stopping by, Harry and [Y/N]. Good luck to both of you tonight.”
[Y/N] and Harry thank Zuri. The camera focuses on [Y/N] and Harry as they make their way off the platform. Zuri watches as Harry helps [Y/N] down the steps. “Here, let me help you,” Harry says. He holds out his hand for her to take as her other hand lifts the front of her gown off the floor.
“Did you come here with anyone tonight?” Zuri overhears Harry ask once off the platform. The camera remains on the two, capturing the candid moment. [Y/N] grins and shakes her head no. “I did not,” she tells him, “I’m a solo flight, tonight. How about you?”
“No, just me,” he answers. “You look beau’iful.”
[Y/N] giggles bashfully and fiddles with her dress, “You said that already.”
Harry buries his face in his hands as he feels his face flush red. “I’m sorry,” he chuckles, feeling slightly embarrassed.
“Don’t apologize,” [Y/N] tells him, removing his hands from his face. “I love your music; I’ve got tickets to your show next month.”
Harry gasps, “No way! Where? Come back stage…” The two walk away from the camera’s view with Harry’s hand placed on [Y/N]’s back, leading her.
The camera refocuses on Zuri. “Did anyone else catch that?” she chortles at the camera, “Well, if that ever happens, you saw it here first, on E!News. I’m Zuri Hall, from E!News and your celebrity matchmaker.”
My friend went to a disaster of a family reunion and my other friend went to a concert and wore uncomfortable shorts to look nice and for some reason those two things got stuck in my head during my flight and so therefore I wrote a blurb about it while I have time and I think this is probably how my writing will go on from now on instead of seven part series so yay here we go!
hadn’t talked for almost an hour, and though many would have figured you were
asleep, Harry knew better than to think so. He’d been working with you for
almost two years now and that meant spending every single day with you 365 days
give or take a couple. And he could tell when you were really sleeping …
because it was absolutely adorable.
knew he shouldn’t have asked to come with you. He knew that even though you
were in good standings with your grandparents, it was the cousins that always
got you agitated. But he couldn’t help himself when you’d talked about the
initiation to the family reunion and how your older cousin now married, Tiff,
had told you to, “Bring a friend!”
There are a lot of things good girls don’t. They don’t laugh too loud, they don’t dress too short, they don’t swear and they don’t put themselves out there. They wait, and they do it while sitting properly in their pristine white dresses, with their hands crossed over their laps and their back sitting up straight.
There’s a lot of things good girls don’t and getting their panties wet every time they see a guy is definitely one of them.
You rubbed your thighs together as your fingers pressed tightly to the table you were sitting on, trying to hold on to a reality that was slipping away as you looked at him. You imagined the taste of his skin, and how it must have felt against yours when he was lying on top of you, and you thought about the fire of his kiss, and how it probably tasted like peppermint and just a tiny hint of sin. You thought about heaven and having him lie next to you at night.
The fire that had settled in your lower tummy was going to consume you all at any moment, and you shifted in your seat, trying to release some of the pressure that had built between your legs. You were definitely wet.
But as much as you tried, you couldn’t stop thinking about him, imagining yourself on your knees while your eyes obediently locked in with his. You imagined your lips wrapping around the two fingers he was offering to you, and the light bob you would do to take them all the way in, while your tongue pressed to them to suck them lightly, looking at him as his eyes, usually green and sweet, turned dark, the burning lust covering them as he gazed down at you. You even imagined the light gag of your throat as he pushed his fingers all the way in, and the moan that bubbled up from your very core when he slid them out, the strings of spit that fell down making you blush as you looked down.
“Look at me, yeah?” He would say, with his voice a little raspier than usual as he kneeled in front of you. “C’mon, kitten, look at me.” He would repeat his command slowly, a smirk curling up the corner of his lips as your eyes fluttered open to obey him. “Look at me while I fuck ya with my fingers, yeah? Use all that spit you left. Were you imagining my cock?” He would ask, his smirk growing bigger as you nodded, still unable to speak your own words, as your heart was knotting on your throat and beating rapidly at the sight of him. “You’re such a fucking good girl.”
His mouth is dry as he stares down at his phone, thumb hovering over the arrow that’ll send the text he’s longing to mail. With another deep breath, he studies the message over again, then begins to question himself. Should I write more? She deserves an apology. Maybe the word crave instead of miss. Yearn for? He deletes the text but retypes it in the same moment.
He’s never felt guilt this deeply before, he’s never so desperately wanted to turn back time and change everything– rephrase all of his words differently. Do things differently. The thought of him not being able to go back and change things hits him like a ton of bricks, sending his short nails into the palm of his hand.
A clap on his shoulder wakes him from his thoughts, and he looks up with attentive eyes. “Ready to go?” Jeff laughs, tucking his heel into the back of his shoe. “Reservations don’t hold themselves.”
“No, yeah.” he rushes, tucking the locked phone into the back pocket of his jeans. “Let’s go.”
“It’s my fucking job, y’know that, we’ve been through this a million times before. Get over it, angel.”
She scoffs in disbelief, untying the silk scarf from around her neck. “Get over it? Get over it. Over my boyfriend of nearly a year not telling anyone about our relationship—?“
“The media would go insane I- fuck I told y’this—”
“I’m not asking you to tell the world, Harry! Maybe your mom, your sister? My family? I’ve been lying to them for way too long, keeping an enormous part of my life away from them how’s that supposed to make me feel? Do you know how distressing it is to be introduced as a friend to you? To not tell anyone, not even my best friend how much you mean to me?”
“Y’do know it’s like that for me as well? A relationship is consists of two people—”
I truly hope so much that you like this story. It’s based of what was for months my reality.
Plot: Y/N is in love with Harry and doesn’t understand why he cuts her off.
Warnings: Mentions of violent behavior, however not in detail.
Picture isn’t mine which is quite sad.
It was safe to say that I loved him far too much for my own good. Maybe it was the way he looked at me, eyes wide and full of warmth and with a hint of… wonder. He looked at me as though he was the only one who saw me as me, the person I truly was. And yet at the same time I know now that he also always saw me as somebody I couldn’t possibly be. Somebody I didn’t even want to be and now am glad I never became, even if it resulted in costing me him. To this day I think it was this misperception of his that doomed the two of us to fail.
Harry caused me so much unnecessary pain, forced me through a seemingly infinite amount of sleepless nights.
How had I ever made that man to somebody I cared about so deeply? I truly wish I hadn’t.
….Then. I stumbled into Harry’s life at a time when the both of us felt terribly out of place. He’d befriended a friend of mine and was soon thrown into a new group of friends, one that I happened to be part of a well. Of course he was on good terms with everybody and held the attention of everyone.
It caught me by surprise when Harry and I became friends. I’d expected to be just as much of a bystander in his life as I was in the lives of the other’s but for some reason he made an effort to know me. I let him of course, gladly in fact since I was just as much pulled under his spell as the rest of us were and greedy for any bit of attention he could spare.
Soon I discovered that he was funny, kind and not half as cocky as he always pretended to be. Harry made me happy. It was far too easy to fall in love with him it happened without me even noticing.
It would be nice if this story would turn into one of those that end with the two friends looking closely at each other, smile and then realize at the same time that the partner they had been dreaming of had been right there in front of them all along. What’s more beautiful than mindless flirtations turning into true words of love? I’ll say it right now this is definitely not that kind of story. If anything it’s the opposite.
….Then. “You should come with us,“ Harry suggested one day.
We were queueing for coffee, something we did at least once a week since he’d introduced me to this part of the city where we’d found what was undoubtedly the best cafe ever. I’d somehow hoped he would invite me to the party tonight, but at the same time I dreaded the thought of going.
I bit my lip. “Wouldn’t I be a bit out of place?“
“Next!“ Moving quickly I informed the barista of our orders and payed for them both before following Harry who’d already walked over to the side of the counter where our coffee’s would be served. He smiled when I followed him.
“Rubbish,“ Harry spoke, grinning at me with that smile I thought about far too often when alone, “You’d just stick to my side like you usually do.“
This idea I liked. Harry’s grin widened when I nodded. “Okay.“
Harry squeezed my shoulder before glancing to our right when’re a beautiful young woman came to a stand, checked something on her phone and then moved to sit down at a table near the wall. A sour taste settled on my tongue and I cleared my throat.
“Only so that somebody’s looking after you, which isn’t a piece of cake,“ I said, smiling when I successfully distracted his attention away form the pretty female and back to me, “Drunk Harry is a pain in the arse I’ll tell you that much.“
Harry shook his head with arched brows. „Watch it love, ’nother comment like that one and m’gonna pinch you.“
“As if you’d dare,“ I laughed, but shrieked and moved away when his fingers reached out to assault my hips. “Ouch! Be nice!“
We waited another minute or two before he thanked the barista with a warm smile while handing me my coffee.
“How much do I owe you?“ he asked, taking a sip from his mug.
“Don’t worry about it. You payed for both of us last time.“
“Oh, so now you can be nice to me, huh?“ Harry playfully nudged my side with his arm and nodded towards the exit, silently asking for us to leave. Well, less asking than demanding it.
My heart sank a little. I’d hoped we would sit down and enjoy our coffees together and through that prolong our time spent alone with one another, but I assumed he already had other plans.
“I’ll pick you up at ten,“ Harry informed me out on the street, his hand a constant warmth at the small of my back. “That way we’ll be an hour later than everybody else and there when the fun really starts.“
I rolled my eyes. “Sure. Whatever you say.“
“That’s the spirit,“ Harry joked, laughing when I glared at him, “I’ll see you then.“
My heart skipped a beat when he leaned in, lips finding my cheek in a lingering kiss before he allowed his arms to wrap around my waist in a tight embrace. The untamable curls of his tickled my neck when he let his face nuzzle my skin momentarily and I giggled in delight, heart thrumming heavily upon hearing him quietly chuckle.
“I’ll see you later,“ I confirmed, more to myself than to him in order to soften the sting of us having to part, “Bye, Harry.“
I squeezed him to me one more time before letting him release me. He stepped back and for a moment I believed to see something change in his eyes. With a final wave he made his way towards the taxi station nearby while I turned to walk to the nearest bus stop.
Harry’s hand was holding mine tightly (his doing, not mine), our fingers intertwined and my heart singing. I smiled and let him pull me with him as he went to say hello to all of the people he knew at the bar, which were many. Nobody questioned our interlaced hands and my cheeks warmed at the thought of people not doubting for a moment that I could belong to Harry’s side.
While Harry spoke to one of his friends my eyes scanned the faces of the people around us and to my distaste found the all too familiar and rather attractive features of Cherry, Her evil eyes glared at me briefly before widening upon noticing Harry, her desire for him as clear to see for everybody as her red painted lips were. I shuddered and turned more into Harry’s side, reminding myself that it was me he’d asked to come with him and not her. I didn’t look but I could feel her angered gaze of jealously on my frame. I couldn’t fight the smile pulling at my lips. The next person I was was Jake, a friend, who smiled and raised his hand in a short wave. I waved back. Him I quite liked.
Harry’s eyes found mine briefly before he released my hand and let my friend Lucy embrace me so tightly I could hardly breathe.
When she let go again I was immediately forced into a conversation with her and before I could do anything to stop her she pulledme away and out of Harry’s sight.
The night turned out to be fun though, especially when Harry joined me shortly after saying hello to Cherry and only left my side after an hour when our friend Riley suddenly came hurrying towards us, saying that he needed to talk to Harry. I watched him walk away longingly.
“You know,“ Lucy began while biting onto the blue straw of her drink, “he really likes you.“
“We’re best friends,“ I shrugged, turning to her, “He better like me.“
“No, silly,“ Lucy rolled her eyes and nudged my arm, “I mean he fancies you. Maybe not as much as you do him since you’re practically head over heels for that guy, but still. I’m sure if you were to say anything he’d be happy to go out with you.“
With flushed cheeks I looked around us, hoping nobody had heard her words.
“I don’t want to risk anything,“ I confessed quietly, “I’d rather be his friend than be nothing at all. Besides, it’s the guy who has to take the first step, not the girl.“
At that Lucy laughed loudly, her long hair fell over her shoulders and I briefly admired how pretty she was.
“Welcome to the 21st century, Y/N. And don’t you think he already made the first step? Several times, actually? Think about it. He invited you here to come with him. He escorts you home every time you’re out late with us and he constantly calls or texts you. Jake told me the other day that he drove past the two of you when Harry was walking you home and he didn’t dare stop to say Hi, thinking he might otherwise interrupt something.
“Jake is being funny then,“ I replied, ignoring the heavy squeeze my heart gave, “Harry is like that with many girls.“
“But only with you it is real.“
I didn’t reply any further and did my best to change the subject, silently urging my heart to calm down. I wished Lucy’s words were true. I wanted Harry to adore me as much as I adored him.
….Now. Harry didn’t adore me as much as I adored him. It was about one week after that night that he told Lucy he hated me. Her expression had been one of pity and I could tell it was hard for her to speak the words, fully aware that they would break my heart, but I’d begged her to tell me what it was I had done to make Harry draw away from me. And that was all she got out of him. Harry hated me, wanted nothing to do with me and felt as though he had absolutely no place for me in his life anymore. And while my world shattered at his sudden change of heart, he seemingly stayed unaffected.
“What can I say,“ Lucy recalled his words were, “I guess when one door closes, another one opens.“
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
….Then. I continued to speak to Lucy and drink, though I made sure not to get drunk so I would be sober should Harry decide to get wasted. I was to keep my word and take care of him, which I didn’t mind at all.
“Can’t believe you’re doing this for him,“ Lucy said, brows arched, “Make sure that he’s actually drunk this time.“
I rolled my eyes, remembering with a foul taste in my mouth when Harry had pretended to be drunk and forced me to drag him home, making me then walk back to my apartment alone and in the middle of the night only to later on reveal that it had all been an act.
“Wanted to see if you were a good friend or not,“ Harry had laughed after humiliating me in front of everybody, “And you passed!“
It hurt me how easily he could play with my feelings for him and I know that I should have left him then. But of course I had instead forgiven Harry without thinking about it twice.
We were interrupted by a guy named Cory. His tall figure loomed over the two of us and he looked very much out of breath. Though he didn’t know me it was my face his eyes instantly found.
“Y/N, right? You need to come with me. Now.“
I was grabbed without further explanation and dragged with such quick steps it was difficult for me to keep up. I was confused and wondered what a guy I didn’t even knew could want from me.
Though when we reached outside I realized it wasn’t Cory who needed something from me, but Jake.
My good and kind friend Jake was crying. His body shook and his face resembled the color of a sheet of paper. The blue of his eyes was swimming in tears and the evident fear in his orbs frightened me. My stomach turned when I noticed how his right cheek shone with a flaming shade of red. I stumbled towards him, heart beating heavily in my chest.
I flinched at Harry’s rough words and when my surprised eyes met his I froze. With his back stood against the brick wall of the building I hadn’t noticed his presence at first but now that I looked at him not even the dark could hide the heavy movements of his chest, the raw anger in his burning eyes. Instantly my worry was for him.
“Harry? What happened?“
My eyes wandered down and the racing of my heart increased at the sight of his trembling fingers, the knuckles of his hand already swollen.
I moved towards him and reached out for his arm before my brain could catch up. “Oh god, Harry, are you alright?“
Tears threatened to form at the sight of the one I loved in pain. Harry gently squeezed my fingers.
“I’m okay, love, don’t worry. Go. I don’t need you to see this.“ This time his tone was kind.
I turned to look at Jake. He’d shrunk back when I’d moved to stand by Harry’s side instead of his and I noticed how his tears increased, smearing his flaming cheek. I didn’t understand and desperately searched for answers in Harry’s face, but his expression had already hardened again. It was when his dark eyes found Jake’s trembling form that I realized what had happened. There was no kindness in his stare.
I let go of Harry’s hand and stepped back. “Harry, what did you do?“
Jake sobbed, breaking my heart further. I felt tears burn my eyes and roll onto my cheeks before I could stop them and I turned to look at the friend I felt was like my brother. With my entirety shaking I stepped closer and tried to reach for his hand.
“Are you okay?“ It was a stupid question to ask somebody who was so clearly devastated.
“Y/N,“ Harry growled form behind me, “Leave him be and go back inside. You have no business here so stay out of it.“
His voice was back to being harsh.
Still I pressed on.
“Did Harry do that?“
I didn’t need Jake’s nod to know the answer to my question.
It wasn’t the first time I’d been a witness to Harry’s short temper. He’d lashed out at people before my eyes more times than I liked to admit, but never before at one of our friends. Never somebody we cared about.
At first he would always scream and if the person confronted then didn’t step back, Harry would let his muscular physic do the talking.
I’d been so frightened when it had happened for the first time as I before that incident only knew him as a kind, warm and loving guy who did everything he could for his friends. Upon meeting him I wouldn’t have ever believed he’d be the type to solve his problems with physical strength, but over time I’d learned that if you push the false buttons, he could get as angry as a hurricane and destroy everything around him. Normally he always tried to make sure I didn’t see.
“Oh Jake,“ I cried and moved to hug him.
Harry made a sound like I imagined a wild tiger would right before killing his prey.
“Y/N, I swear to god, go the fuck inside!“
“Stop it, Harry! Can’t you see you’ve done enough?“ I was properly sobbing now, “What the hell were you thinking? You hit Jake!“
“That prick deserved it,“ Harry spoke cruelly, “Didn’t you, you little shit?“
“Hey man, calm down, okay? I think he gets it,“ Cory intervined.
He’d stayed silent until now.
Jake’s swimming orbs found my face. “I’m going home.“
I brushed my hands against the wet skin of my cheeks and nodded. My friend’s scared eyes found the man’s who stood behind me before quietly continuing.
“Come with me.“
“She’s staying, aren’t you, Y/N?“ Harry’s tone was almost mocking, “She came here with me so she stays until I take her home. She doesn’t need you to do that.“
My head hurt and I shook my head. Breathing was difficult.
“Jake,“ I whimpered, “Just go, okay? Text me when you’re home.“
I knew my reply disappointed him but at the same time it was hardly a surprise. Of course I would stand by Harry’s side still. Of course there wasn’t anyone who I would choose over him. Harry knew it, too and grinned at the both of us with an unfamiliar shade of evil in his eyes.
I faintly heard him mumble the words Good girl.
My stomach turned.
“I can go home by myself.“
Jake moved to leave and when I turned to look at Harry his expression had changed from one of anger to one of surprise. I noticed that his eyes were back to their clear green color that wasn’t at all frightening and when I took a step back and out of his reach he frowned.
“Y/N,“ he spoke softly, “C’mon. I’ll take you home later.“
I shook my head. “I want to leave now.“
He sighed. “We’ll leave now, then.“
Once more he reached out to touch me and just like before I flinched away from his touch. The blood on his hand made me sick.
“I said I can go by myself, Harry.“
Any other person would have understood.
Of course I couldn’t bear to be in the presence of the male who’d just inflicted such pain and fear on one of my closest friends. It was all too much and I cried on my way home, thankful that the taxi driver didn’t dare asking what the matter was.
Jake texted me that he was fine and though none of what happened was my fault I apologized profoundly for what Harry had done.
But that was it. I didn’t offer to come over and take care of him, in fact I didn’t address the subject at all anymore the moment I found out what had happened.
Apperaantly Jake had run his mouth about something Harry didn’t like and before he’d been able to react or apologize Harry’d already begun to inflict physical pain on him, completely void of any compassion for his friend.
I felt bad, I really did, and though I was angry and upset with Harry, the fear of him resenting me should I side too much with Jake kept me from being a good friend to him.
I picked Harry without even consciously making the choice.
When I went to tell Lucy about what happened the night before she said that she already knew. Harry had told her everything after I’d left him standing outside the bar.
“He was pretty pissed at you,“ she said with worried eyes, “Said he doesn’t want to see you anymore.“
I shuddered. “Maybe I should call him. Talk things out.“
But he didn’t pick up. Not the first time I tried and not the fifth either. He didn’t even respond to my messages.
Slowly I could feel myself freak out. We’d had some spats here and there, arguments that had made him shut me out and avoid talking to me, but so far whenever I reached out to apologize he warmed up and welcomed me back at his side.
Only this time I honestly felt like there was nothing for me to apologize for. I wasn’t the one who’d laid hand on Jake, who’d commanded a friend around as though they were my property and I hadn’t been the one to spoil the whole night for everyone.
“Just apologize to him,“ Lucy advised after I’d spent three days with absolutely no word from Harry, “He’s on good terms with Jake again. After letting out his aggression Harry accepted Jake’s effort of making things okay.“
“Good for them,“ I said, genuinely meaning it, “But there is nothing I could apologize for and nothing that I did wrong that night. Harry knows that, too.“
In all honesty I felt as though it was Harry’s turn to apologize to me. So many times before had it been me who’d tried and tried to reach out for him to make things right, often I even let myself down just to please him and that just couldn’t happen again. I would wait, I decided, wait for him to respond to one of my innocent messages, hoping desperately that this choice wouldn’t cost me him.
But of course that was exactly the price I had to pay for not backing down this time.
….Now. Harry could be so kind. He was the first person to be there for me when I was in trouble, he always protected me against anything and anyone who made me uneasy and most importantly through him I experienced a never before encountered feeling of being needed.
To him I was important and he appreciated me every day.
At times he was gentle and funny, blushing whenever he managed to make me laugh and his eyes would sparkle so lovingly it made my heart flutter.
He wasn’t all manipulative, arrogant and selfish.
I think Harry liked to think of me as an obedient and kind girl that wasn’t difficult to keep around. And he most certainly knew I was in love with him. So when I chose not to let myself down and apologize for standing up to him he was surprised and angry.
I’d proven his perception of me wrong and this newly discovered girl wasn’t who he had much use to.
….Then. Never before in my life had I cried so hard. It was like I couldn’t breathe, my chest was crushed under an immense weight and I was robbed of any feeling of comfort. Some nights it got so bad I was hysterical and trashed around in my bed with no hope of finding rest. It felt like I was forcefully ripped open and everything Harry had left in my heart was taken away. Left was a sickening emptiness.
I was devastated.
Harry hadn’t responded to any attempt I’d made at reaching out and after a while I had been forced to give up. So instead I sent Lucy to talk to him and find out what he believed I did wrong only for her to come back with the most awful news.
“Harry was so angry, Y/N,“ Lucy had said, voice quiet and careful, “So much so he acted completely indifferent. He said that you know exactly what you did, that he hates you for it and never wants to see you again.“
She might as well have knocked me out.
Lucy nervously toyed with her hands. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. There really was nothing I could do to calm him.“
Hearing that the person you love feels hate towards you is the most intense kind of heart break that can be inflicted upon you by a loved one. Any sense of warmth is sucked out of you, your skin is in a constant state of shudder and your heart might as well not be there. The sickness you may feel before sitting through an important exam or before your first day at a new job, that kind of nerve wrecking sickness doesn’t ever go away again.
Your body is always on alert. Not even sleep brings rest.
It is pure torture to bear a broken heart and it takes so much time until it gets better.
The crying didn’t stop and I had no control over it. My eyes began to tear up without me noticing and due to the constant ache in my heart it was difficult to tell when my body was overwhelmed by it. During those times I searched for solitude and refused to spend time with the large group of people I’d once called my friends. Lucy and a small handful of them were the only ones I wanted to be around, anyone else I knew would instantly go and tell Harry about the pitiful state I was in.
And he didn’t need to know how much him leaving me had shattered my entire being.
To my luck the intense pain, confusion and disappointment followed a lot of anger. Like, more anger than I ever knew I was capable of feeling. That helped so much and for the first time I could feel myself slowly getting close to feeling okay again.
Because honestly: How dare he put me aside like I was a used doll to him? How dare he pretend like I wasn’t the best friend he had? How dare he act as if I hadn’t always put him first, before myself even?
I hissed in anger at the mere thought of all the things I’d done for him, every sacrifice, every time I let myself down to please him. If he messed up, I was there to help make things right, if he was upset, I was there to cheer him up. Me, me me. Always Me.
And now what? I had cried at the sight of my friend in pain and that made ma a traitor?
“I’m okay,“ I told Lucy one afternoon after she asked me how I was coping. Five weeks had passed since Harry had stopped talking to me and I was happy to admit that my words were only half a lie.
“That’s good,“ she gave me a small smile before her expression hardened and she looked away. “He asked about you today.“
I almost chocked on my tea. Lucy elaborated: “I ran into him at the cafe he likes so much. He asked where I was going and when I told him he wanted to know how you were doing.“
“What did you say?“ I wondered, my voice much steadier than I expected.
She peered up at me form under her lashes. “That you were good.“
I nodded. “Good.“
“I also asked if I should talk to you and help him make things right again.“ Lucy looked at me expectantly.
With brows arched in surprise I cleared my throat. “You did? What did he say?“
“Nothing he just shook his head. But that’s only because he’s prideful, Y/N, trust me. If you were to call him now I’m certain he would want to talk.“
Slowly I raised the mug I held in both hands to my lips and took a sip. When I looked at her again I knew my slightly puffy eyes were hard.
“Well, I’m not going to.“
“You should,“ Lucy protested, “Put you both out of your misery.“
I shook my head. “He’s the one who acts as if I did the worst possible thing to him when in reality I have done nothing. No, I am definitely not going to crawl back to him like a whipped dog that learned its lesson and damn him if he thinks I will. Maybe he regrets being a dick to me but then it sure as hell means that it’s his turn to come back. After all, he’s the one that left.“
When I finished I was out of breath and my hands trembled.
“I didn’t know you were this angry,“ Lucy admitted, her eyes holding surprise, “I expected you to be happy about these news.“
“Well I’m not,“ I answered, “This is just another stupid test of his and after crying every night for almost a month now I no longer care if I fail it.“
“He told me you were the one who left.“
I gaped at her. “What?“
She shrugged. “In his version of the story you’re the one who backed away form him after what happened to Jake. He thinks you are the one who left.“
Once more my body was set on fire with anger. “That’s what this is about?“ I cried, “He hates me for not holding the hand he used to beat my friend with?“
Lucy bit her lip, then she nodded.
“Fuck him then,“ I said harshly, “What a self centered prick. I was frightened sick and he is so selfish that me taking a step back and insisting that I needed a moment alone is enough for him to throw us away?“
There was a pause of silence and slowly my breathing calmed again.
Lucy cleared her throat. “Okay, well… it’s your choice. I just know how much you care for him and even after everything he did I’m sure he cares about you just as much. And as your friend I must say that I can’t bear to see you so hurt all the time.“
At that I smiled kindly. “If he cared as much about me as I do for him he wouldn’t be spending all of his time with Cherry at his side.“
Lucy’s face fell. “I didn’t think you knew about that.“
I shrugged. “Hard not to. Her Instagram is full with pictures of them together. Her hugging him, him holding her waist, them dancing. He doesn’t seem to miss me too much.“
“She’s a distraction and has a pretty head that is as empty as a head can be,“ Lucy spoke harshly, “He knows that she is nothing compared to the friendship he had with you.“
I shrugged once more. “He doesn’t seem to mind. And as long as he doesn’t try to come back to me with a solid apology I couldn’t care less if Cherry bores him out of his mind.“
Nights were still the worst. That was when my head was haunted by every moment I ever spent with Harry, every laugh we shared, every touch. My poor heart was tortured with the memory of him kissing my cheek, leaving the skin hot and burning. I was reminded of the wide smile he wore whenever he saw me and the look of his arms held open wide for me to step into.
What I found myself missing most though was his smell. I’d grown to love his scent, found it comforting and every night I feared I would forget it one day.
Nights were when I allowed myself to cry and mourn the hope of love I’d lost with him.
I missed laughing with him, because he was still the funniest person I knew. I longed to hear him talk, because he had such a smart mind. I couldn’t bear to think that I would never get to feel his arms around me again and it hurt to imagine that I would never have his protection again.
After giving him so much importance in my life it was difficult to cope without him. But I did. And after two months of no word of him, it truly was no longer a lie when I said that I was feeling good.
It was almost like he knew that my heard had mended and I believed he understood that as his cue to come back and fuck me up again.
I stared at my phone with shock. I had one missed call from Harry and four new texts.
How are you?
Can we talk?
Almost three months. That was how long he’d waited to reach out again. More than 40 nights of crying, more than 30 days of feeling like I was only a shell of myself.
And all I got was a Hey. How are you? Can we talk? Sorry. A ‘Sorry’ was all that my pain was worth.
„Fuck you, Harry,“ I muttered.
I reached for the device sitting before me, unlocked the screen and pressed onto the message until the small window popped up.
Are you sure you want to delete this chat? My phone asked.
I didn’t hesitate to press yes.
To this day I knew that there was nobody I loved as deeply as I did Harry.
Even after doing everything in his power to break my heart, I can’t help the small jump out of rhythm and the tiny squeeze it gives whenever I happen to see his face somewhere. So many years have past and both of our lives are so different now.
We don’t speak. We don’t reach out.
But his stare lingers when he sees my face and so does mine. It’s as if we’re both reminded of who we once were and for a moment we wonder what we’ve become.
‘You’re going to have to come to the gates and get me, security won’t let me through’ I typed quickly. For 20 minutes I had stood at the security entrance of the Dunkirk set, trying to convince the two men manning the gate that I wasn’t another groupie and that I did in fact have a invitation to be here. But it was no use, I was sure that everything I said to them, despite it being the complete truth, was just the same old thing they heard on a daily basis.
‘Ok, I’ll be there in 2 minutes’ he sent back.
I stuffed my phone back in my pocket and huffed, clicking my tongue and tapping my foot as I waited. It wasn’t long before several of the group of girls, who had gathered as close as they could to the set, began squealing and shouting. I couldn’t understand it, the excitement and giggly euphoria they got when they saw my best friend was something neither of us had really wrapped our heads around. Fionn approached one of the security guards and pointed to me. He glanced at the screaming crowd and rolled his eyes as the barrier was set aside and I was ushered through.
“Apologise miss, you understand our hesitation” one of the men said as he pulled the barrier closed behind me.
“Of course, no harm done” I said with a small smile, to which he nodded and returned to his post beside the gate.
“Sorry,” Fionn said as I approached him, gathering me in usual limp hug, pulling away before I could plant a kiss on his cheek. From the day I met him half way through primary school, Fionn had never been one for physical contact, so much so that I would make a point of giving him big hugs and sloppy kisses on the cheek whenever I saw him. He would squirm and groan each time, fighting to push me off despite having his arms pinned to the side by my vice like grip. I found it incredibly amusing.
“Didn’t even think about them not letting you past, not used to this whole high security, screaming girls kind of thing” he said as we began walking deep into the heart of the sprawling maze of trailers and crew vehicles.
“You don’t say,” I laughed with a roll of the eyes, “heaven help the first fan that tried to give you a hug”.
“Don’t,” he shuddered, his face twisting into an uncomfortable grimace, “stuff of nightmares” he finished, to which I burst into a fit of giggles.
“Shut up Y/N! You know I don’t like it” he whined.
“I know I’m sorry” I laughed, stepping towards him quickly and embracing him in an ‘empathy hug’ to which he groaned and told me to ‘get off’.
“Come on then, show me around” I said, skipping several steps in front of him, before stopping to let him catch up. He rolled his eyes but smiled slightly.
For the best part of an hour Fionn led me around the trailers, pointing out the directors station, the canteen, storage units and trailers of many of his co-stars. The tour took longer than necessary, for I stopped to take pictures of many, as Fionn pointed out, ‘unnecessary’ sights, but I dint fail to catch his smile as I dragged him beside me for a selfie next to the big sticker on his trailer that read ‘Fionn Whitehead’ and ‘Tommy’ in slightly smaller writing beneath. He was also surprisingly lighthearted when we bumped into Cillian Murphy and I asked if he would mind taking a picture of the two of us.
“This is so cool” I squealed as he pulled me along to the waters edge and pointed towards several boats which were being used for the film.
“I’m on that one tomorrow” he said, pointing towards a small blue fishing boat.
“Do you escape on that one?” I asked, shooting his a quick sideways glance and catching his grin.
I’m not telling you” he laughed. I groaned and stomped my feet like a spoilt 5 year old. Fionn had told me nothing about the script, he didn’t tell me whether he lived or died, whether he was rescued or captured, but more importantly he wouldn’t tell me whether Cillian lived or died.
“Fionn” I whined, “please just tell me something!”
“Nope” he chuckled and I groaned loudly.
“Seems like a groan is the usual reaction to spending time with you, eh Fionn” a voice said as it approached us. I leaned back to glance around Fionn as the tall figure who appeared out of a clean white trailer just behind us. Fionn didn’t even turn at the voice, he simply rolled his eyes but I caught the corner of his lip twitched up in a barely concealed smile.
“Shut up Harry” he said lightly. I made an effort not to stare as Harry stepped beside Fionn. I had never been one to overly obsess over the infamous ‘Harry Styles’, I didn’t see the point, he was just a boy that could sing, right? Wrong. I had never seen someone look so attractive in scruffy, brown costume before. His hair was slicked back with a dark brown liquid and his face was lightly splattered with flecks of something black. The black substance was also all over his hands and costume.
“Hi” he said as he approached, his voice was deep and thick and it took several seconds longer than was necessary for me to form a response.
“Hi, I’m Y/N, I’m Fionn’s friend” I said quickly, offering him my hand to try and make me seem less lame.
Harry offered me a crooked smile, before reaching his hand out to take mine. At the last second he seemed to realise that his hands were covered in, well whatever they were covered in, and he pulled it away with a chuckle.
“Maybe not” he said lightly and I smiled. I glanced towards Fionn who appeared to be watching the exchange carefully, offering me a slight raised brow once his gaze caught mine. I frowned at him in confusion to which he only smirked slightly and looked away.
“You just here visiting Y/N?” Harry asked carefully, he appeared to notice Fionn’s smile too but quickly returned his attention back to me.
“Yeah, Fionn and I made a deal that I would stop asking him questions about the film if he showed me around the set” I explained.
“A deal which technically you’ve already broken” Fionn pointed out, earning him a light punch in the shoulder, causing him to whine and Harry to burst out laughing.
“Well Fionn, looks like you’ve got more will power than I give you credit for. I certainly couldn’t keep my mouth shut if I had a beauty like her asking me questions” Harry smirked. Fionn grinned at him before turning to offer me a cheeky smile, but I was still too focused on Harry’s words to form any other response than a bright pink blush and a glance towards the ground.
“Anyway, I better get going, this gloop already took longer to apply than it should have” Harry said, glancing at his black hand, turning it over a couple of times before returning his attention to us.
“See you later mate” Harry said, finishing with a firm pat on Fionn’s back. He turned his attention back to me.
“See you around?” Harry said, the end of his sentence rising in hope as he looked at me with raised brows and wide, bright green eyes.
I blushed once more and smiled.
“Yeah, see you around” I said quietly. He seemed content with my response, offering us both one last nod and a lingering glance towards me before heading away and disappearing between two trailers. I watched him go, avoiding eye contact with Fionn at all cost. When I knew I couldn’t no longer avoid the inevitable, I glanced towards him only to be greeted with a wide, knowing smile.
“Shut up Fionn” I mumbled, turning and walking past him along the waters edge.
“Didn’t say a word” he laughed before catching me up and leading us on to the rest of the set.
It’s so hard to write about Fionn when I really know nothing about him other than he is the same age as me hahaha!
Anyway I hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think!
i dont think there’d be anything as perfect as smooching with harry on the sofa, covered in blankets and feeling soft hands on your hips, his soft kisses pressed to the corner of your mouth, lips only just missing their mark, before tenderly reaching their desired destinations; lips, neck, chest. eyelashes fluttering on each others cheeks, feeling the smiles from within the kisses, wearing one of his big shirts….the only thing outwith your embrace being the television, volume down low but still emitting a glow onto your bodies in the dusk of the evening. you hold his hand, wedding ring glinting from the warm sunset through the window, and allowing for a separate mix of colours to paint your faces with light and joy. the smell of the homemade dinner which harry made filling the room with a familiar, soft aroma. the baby monitor on the mantlepiece remaining silent - only picking up the slow and even, deep breathing of your 4 month old from two rooms away. “i love you”s are exchanged through glances and touches and actions. And the pure, beautiful sweet love shown, has allowed for you to have create a life - both the little baby snoozing quietly, and the house and environment you’re living in - for yourselves.
Harry wasn’t a sap. Oh god, he wasn’t. but when it comes to Y/N, he couldn’t help but feel a tad whipped.
It was when he saw his friend Jeff getting a tattoo of his girlfriend’s hometown coordinates on his arm. As much as it seemed creepy and strange, he couldn’t help but letting the idea of having something from Y/N tattooed forever on his body creep into his mind.
It was after a week when they managed to take some time to themselves and chill at Y/N’s small but cozy apartment in downtown London. They were sat on Y/N’s tiny bed (it was a double sized bed but Harry’s feet were always left outside) and she had her arms around him. He could feel her warm breath on his neck.
“I don’t want them to see my boobs, ‘s all.” He could almost sense her eyebrows furrowing behind him while she continued stroking his biceps.
“Love, they don’t care ‘bout yeh boobs, they only care ‘bout the money they’ll be receiving” Harry shook his head and a few strands fell on his forehead, making Y/N lean over and kiss his forehead from where she was seated behind him.
Harry was slowly regretting the whole tattoo idea. He knew Y/N liked his tattoos and sure, she had a couple of small ones here and there but he wanted to go and get one together. And not because he wanted to get matching ones, Harry wasn’t into that whole idea of getting hearts and flowers with your lover.
Plot: Y/N never asked him to commit himself to her, but when Harry flirts with someone else it breaks her heart.
Warnings: None aside from mentions of Sex. But there’s no smut.
I was in love with him. Whole heartily and knees weakening in love. Even though we were destined to fail.
What Harry and I shared was special, a bond much stronger than anything else I knew. Or so I’d thought. From the moment we met he was magical to me and enchanting. I couldn’t get enough of him. He was addictive.
And I would always do my best to keep him.
I liked what he liked, learned to care for the things he cared about and felt proud whenever he discovered as a happy surprise that I enjoyed the same things he did. Harry liked me a lot. I hoped that maybe if I adapted more to his likings he would learn to see in me what I had long begun to see in him. A plan that couldn’t possibly work.
Times passed and my heart grew heavier. Far too long my infatuation with him received little response and though I had tried not to let it hurt me and had kept on telling myself that some of his love was better than none at all, it’d pained me. There was only so much I could take, but to my misfortunate I’d realized too late just how much I depended on him. Too much. So far too much.
Harry had contributed a lot to me staying oblivious to his lack of romantic feelings for me. So many times he’d stolen a kiss to my cheek, had held onto my hand or had pulled me in to sit on his lap for no apparent reason at all other than the fact that he’d wanted me to be near him.
„You’re like my puzzle,“ Harry had murmured into my neck one evening after he’d pulled me onto his lap.
I’d giggled. „Because I’m confusing?“
„No,“ he’d laughed against my back, „It’s because we fit so well. With you sitting like this… ’S nice, you know?“
I wish I would have had the guts to tell him right then and there.
My fingers had squeezed his before leaning back into him. „Yes, I know.“
Always being the more confident between the two of us, I’d assumed those sweet gestures were him taking the steps I never dared to. Steps towards us being more than close friends.
But I’d been mistaken about quite a few things…
The first kiss he’d given me had been what doomed it all to change. His game of stolen touches and unspoken feelings couldn’t be played for much longer without me going insane over how much my feelings tore at my heart. And what had instantly followed our first kiss was much more.
I remembered that morning so well. I had opened my eyes and found him asleep by my side. Unlike all of his other touches, which could have been excused, this hadn’t been an accident. Kissing someone all night and whispering words over adoration… Sleeping with them. That doesn’t just happen.
Especially not when you’re as sober as Harry and I had been when we’d stumbled into bed and into each other’s embrace.
As I’d lain there I allowed my hand to reach out and touch his warm skin gently.
Images of Harry’s face only inches away from my own had clouded my memory. His kiss, foreign as I’d never got to taste his lips before and then familiar at the same time due to how many times I’d been staring at his mouth. Every curve, extra soft section and particularly warm spot of his mouth… I’d got to know them.
The smile was impossible to keep from my gracing my lips. Harry… my Harry, was naked and asleep in my bed, wrapped up in my sheets while I was wrapped up in his arms. His chest was pressed against my bare back making me feel safer than I’d ever felt before and when I turned my head just a little bit I could press my lips to one of his many tattoos. Even his legs were intertwined with my own. There would have been no untangling us even if we’d wanted to.
Summary: Harry spoke to actress and new friend, [Y/N] [Y/L/N], recently just before the awards ceremony. Now it’s the after party! Harry’s distracted, searching for [Y/N], and his “Dunkirk” friends take notice. Little does he know [Y/N]’s looking for him, too…
It’s the Oscars after party where all the invited guests are gathered together, seated with new and old friends at round tables with food and bottles of champagne before them; and winners and honorable people give their second speeches. It’s a time for actors and actresses to enjoy a dinner party with their co-stars and colleagues, catch up with friends, and simply have a good time.
Harry stands in a circle with his Dunkirk costars, his feet close together and his arms folded across his chest. His eyes roam the room in search of [Y/N] who he had last seen on-stage accepting her award for best actress. He remembers to nod, chuckle, and mumble an “mmhm” every so often to continue seeming engaged in the conversation while his mind is fixed on finding the girl he had met a several hours prior.
And there she is.
He finds her a few feet behind Fionn, shaking hands and embracing the people who come across her and congratulate her on her award. He smiles in awe as he watches from afar as she interacts with others full of grace and humility.
Harry snaps back into the conversation, realizing all eyes are on him. He clears his throat and fixes his stance, “Erm, yeh,” he tries to sell, “Why?”
“‘Cuz you’re lookin’ at me like yeh wanna kiss me,” Fionn chuckles, the rest of the group’s laughter following.
Harry feels his cheeks burn and bows his head, his eyes now now at his feet. He shakes his head. “Yeh wish, man,” Harry laughs off.
“Who are you looking at?” Christopher Nolan, a man who has become like a mentor to Harry, asks, observing the individuals behind Fionn.
“Nobody,” Harry tries to tell him.
“Were yah lookin’ at [Y/N] [Y/L/N]?” Jack Lowden asks, looking in the direction Harry was. Harry remains quiet, fighting a bashful smile, and the younger boys cheer.
“Yeh like her!” Fionn confirms for him. They all face towards [Y/N] and watch her as she coincidentally makes her away closer to them.
“Don’t worry about it,” Harry says simply, waving it off.
“What are yah doin’ standin’ here and talkin’ to us? Go over there!” Jack insists, giving Harry a light shove forward on the back.
Harry feels himself hesitate. His body moves forward but his feet remain planted on the ground. He’s conflicted within himself. He doesn’t want to seem overeager but he doesn’t want to miss his chance either. There’s a part of him that’s brave enough and confident to strike up a conversation with [Y/N] while another part is surprisingly sheepish and full of nerves, already set to retreat without even having made a move.
It’s something about [Y/N]— her grace, her charm, her beauty. The way she carries herself. He sees kindness in her, sincerity— a rarity in the industry. She seems different and he wants to get to know her. Looking at her and being in her presence gives him butterflies he’s only ever felt during the big moments in his life.
“Here she comes!” Fionn whispers quickly, “Say somethin’!”
“Mr. Nolan,” [Y/N] says, approaching the group. She extends a hand, “Congratulations on your film, ‘Dunkirk’.”
Nolan returns a handshake. “Call me Chris,” he tells her, smiling, “And thank you. Congratulations, as well.”
[Y/N] then turns her attention to Harry, flashing a smile that send the butterflies inside him free. “Hi, Harry,” she says.
“Hey,” he responds, trying to sound casual, calm, and collected. He gives Fionn a look who quickly receives the message.
“We’re gonna—“ Fionn pauses to think of a solid excuse. “Go to the loo,” he comes up with, “Come on, fellas. I need yah to help me, I’m drunk.”
The young gentlemen follow Fionn to the direction of the toilets while Chris excuses himself to continue socializing, leaving Harry and [Y/N] to themselves. A waiter comes by with a tray full of champagne glasses. “Champagne?” he offers. Harry takes two glasses, thanks the waiter, and hands [Y/N] a glass. “To you,” he grins, raising the glass.
She does the same. “To you,” [Y/N] smirks, before taking a sip. “This is my fifth glass, you know. I’m starting to feel a little woozy,” she giggles as she continues to drink from her glass.
“I’ve had quite a few myself,” Harry chuckles. “Care to take a walk outside?”
“I’d love to,” [Y/N] agrees.
Harry and [Y/N] walk through the garden of the venue, breathing in fresh air and feeling the summer breeze against their skin. The conversation begins with simple questions. Starter questions. They make small talk, discussing work, and simple likes and dislikes. As the night progresses, they slowly open up by relating stories and personal experiences. They talk about where they come from, where they were born and raised, their family, how they got into the business. They come to find they relate well with one another and have many commonalities. Before they know it, the awkward tension is long gone and the night is full of laughter. They soon feel as if they’ve known each other for years rather than just a few hours. The conversation’s very natural with no awkward silence.
Harry notices how [Y/N] can carry a conversation. He likes how she opens up to him and makes him feel like he’s known her. He’s fond of her positivity and light. She can transition from laughter to solemn conversations and deep issues to lighthearted talks. She’s a refreshment to him. And he absolutely adores how she genuinely laughs at all his jokes, finding them surprisingly witty and funny.
On the other hand, [Y/N] is surprised by Harry. He isn’t like the picture she painted in her mind or the image the media created. He was better. He has truthfulness to him and passion. She admires the way he speaks about the things he loves and cares about. He can converse about something so deeply you’ll fall in love with it yourself. He has an infectious smile and is a lot funnier in person. And the best part is: he’s not at all short of being a gentleman.
Harry smiles down at [Y/N] as they sit inches away from each other on a wooden bench behind the tall bush hedges, parts of her face illuminated by the moonlight. She locks her eyes with his, peering into the green orbs in efforts to read what is on his mind in the silence. It’s no secret. He’s captivated by her. The way he looks at her says everything— his expression softens, his eyes in awe, his lips curve, his body relaxes. He takes notice of her every detail. His attraction towards her grows stronger the longer he’s around her. His desire for her builds. She fills him with a sense of wonderment and curiosity. He finds a need to know the heart behind the beauty.
Harry leans forward and presses his lips against hers, leaving all hesitation and rationality behind. There’s no more thinking.
He pulls away after a few seconds, slightly embarrassed by his impulsivity. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have. I—“
“Do you want to get out of here?” [Y/N] asks, perfectly interrupting his nervous ramble.
A smile slowly forms on Harry’s lips. “Yeah,” he nods. He slips his fingers through [Y/N]’s hand and feels her grip his hold. He leads the way to the parking lot filled with black suburban and calls for a driver.
This is the conclusion to the series! I hope you all have enjoyed it and that this lives up to your expectations. Thanks for all of the love and support I have received for this imagine. Means the world to me.
“How long does it take to get the results of this test?” You wonder out loud to Harry later that evening. The two of you were headed for LAX, going to pick up Anne, whose flight was to be landing at any minute. Harry had gone early that morning and gotten his blood drawn, as did the mother. Harry told you the two of them didn’t see or speak to each other though, which was good.
“They said a couple of days but would rush it because of the circumstances.” Harry explains, keeping his eyes forward and both hands tight on the steering wheel.
“You mean because of who you are.” You clarified for him. “If you aren’t the father, they’ll want to know as soon as possible so they can make sure no one starts rumors you’re having a child, and if they do they have proof that you aren’t.”
“Can we jus’ not talk abou’ this? ’m nervous, ’m scared, I don’ need you over here sayin’ stuff like tha’ to make me feel worse.” This was the first time he had snapped at you in awhile, especially since all of this had happened. It showed you just how much this was taking a toll on him.
“I’m sorry.” You whisper, reaching over to rest your hand on his bicep. “I was just thinking out loud, I guess.” You tell him, removing your hand. He sighs, instantly regretting the tone of voice he had taken with you. He glances over at you but you weren’t looking at him and instead were focused on the buildings and cars flying past outside your window.
Harry had felt a sense of hope last night and this morning that things would be okay with the two of you. You had kissed him, you had said you loved him, you’d laughed and joked with him this morning when he got home from the doctors office. Things felt normal and okay again. And he knew the results of the paternity test would most likely determine if you would return back to London as his girlfriend or his ex to never see him again.
He wasn’t sure how he felt about all of this anymore. Of course, he didn’t particularly want this baby, but if it was his he knew he would love it completely and raise him or her to the best of his ability, even if that meant he would lose you. He would be a parent and he would have to do what he had to for his child. For the fear of losing you alone was the only reason he was praying the baby turned out not to be his. He hadn’t let himself feel that emotional connection yet. He hadn’t seen an ultrasound, he hadn’t heard a heartbeat, right now it was an abstract idea, a phantom consuming his thoughts until all of this was resolved.
“Hey,” Harry breaks from his thoughts and looks over at you for a second, seeing that you were looking at him with concern riddled across that beautiful face. You reach over, resting a hand on his leg. “You alright?”
“Jus’ thinkin’.” Harry answers, turning back to the road. They were almost at the airport. He couldn’t wait to see his mother. He needed the comfort of his mothers arms around him as he figured this all out. You were also excited to see her. Anne had always been such a comfort to you and it was going to be nice to have her around to help.
“What about?” You wonder, your hand still resting on his leg. You see him bite at his lower lip, clearly unsure if he wanted to tell you what was on his mind or not. “You don’t have to tell me.” You assure him but he shakes his head.
“’m jus’ thinkin’ abou’ how I’ll feel if the baby isn’ mine and how I’ll feel if it is mine.” He explains quietly, giving a small shrug of his muscular shoulders. “I don’ feel a connection yet and I know the only way there would be chance of you forgiving me would be if I wasn’ the father so I prefer tha’ instead of a child with someone else righ’ now.”
“Whether you’re the father or not, you still cheated and then lied to me, Harry. I’m not going to just forgive you because you might not be the father.” Though admittedly, you would be more so open to resolving all of this if he wasn’t going to be tied down to a child.
“Yeah, bu’ if ‘m no’ then I have more time to spend on gettin’ you back.” He grins over at you then and takes your hand from his leg to bring the back of your hand up to his lips. He glances over at you as his soft lips kiss your skin before he puts your hand back on his leg and focuses back on the road. You’re heart raced at his touch, your mind going a mile a minute.
You didn’t speak for the remainder of the trip, which was thankfully not much, but you did keep your hand on his leg. Once you saw Anne and you both got out of the car, heading to greet her, she pulled you both into a hug one at a time, holding you both close against her as you hug her just as tightly back.
“Oh, Harry,” She comments, resting a hand on her son’s cheek as she looks into his tired and clearly stressed face but he gives her a smile, not wanting to upset her more than he already had. He hugs her again before he takes her bags and heads to put them in the back of his car while the two of you hug again.
The drive home was thankfully not awkward. Baby talk didn’t happen, instead Anne shared stories of what was going on at home, what her and Robin had been up to, as well as Harry’s sister Gemma. It was nice to talk about something other than the baby and cheating and just pretend that everything was okay again.
“So, am I taking the guest room or is it pre-occupied?” Anne questioned when Harry was close to pulling into the driveway. That’s when you glance over at Harry, realizing the two of you clearly hadn’t thought about that. You’d been sleeping in the guest room still while he was in your old bedroom. Now with Anne needing the guest room where would you go.
“I’ll just… I’ll take the couch. It will only be for a few days anyway.” You answer, giving a shrug. The couch was plenty big enough and decently comfortable so it shouldn’t be too bad.
“I’ll take the couch.” Harry argues. “Or, you could stay with me. We have a huge bed, or well… I have a huge bed.. we won’ have to sleep close together or anythin’.” You bite your lip but decide he was right. You wouldn’t have to be close to him as the bed was in fact huge with plenty of space but you had to admit it would still be a little bit weird and hard to be so close in a bed that the two of you had once been intimate in but it would have to do for the next few days until all of this was finished and you returned home.
It was so nice to have Anne there. She helped fill that awkward silence that sometimes fell between you and Harry. She also made it easy to not talk about the current situation, the two of you were escaping all of it finally and it felt so nice to have laughs and comfort instead of arguing and tears.
“Jus’ kick me if I ge’ too close.” Harry comments to you after the two of you had gotten ready for bed. You were pulling all the extra pillows off the bed that Harry had always been annoyed by. He always claimed that you didn’t need more than what you used to sleep so why overload the bed with smaller decorative ones? You said it made the room complete and they were staying, so he put up with it but you had to admit, the task of taking them off every night did get kind of annoying, as did having to put them all back on in the morning. “You know I like a cuddle.”
“And you know I have no problem kicking you.” You respond with an innocent smile to which his response was to grab a pillow and toss it at you. You laugh as it bounces off your arm that you held up to shield yourself. “You can kick me if I get too close too. Not that I will but ya know, just in case.”
“Yeah, I will.” He smirks at you as the two of you pull back the blankets and slide into bed. You sigh as you collapse back into the pillows, pulling the thick blanket up to your chin as you sink into the mattress. You had missed this comfortable bed.
Surprisingly, the two of you did keep your distance from one another throughout the night. He stayed on his side, and you on yours. He woke before you and couldn’t help but smile over at your sleeping form, needing to resist the urge to pull you close against him like he used to. He knew you wouldn’t like that though so instead he just leaned in, pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek, careful not to wake up, before sliding out of bed.
“Mornin’, sunshine.” He greeted you when you entered the kitchen a little while later. He lifts his forkful of eggs in a greeting before sliding the plate over to you when you sit beside him. “Eggs?” He asks, his mouth full. You laugh and shove him with your elbow before grabbing his fork.
“You’re disgusting.” You comment before shoving your own forkful of eggs into your mouth. You realize then that maybe sharing a plate of breakfast wasn’t a normal and just friends kind of thing to do but it’s what the two of you had done for so long, it happened so naturally just as holding hands after the meeting with the lawyers had been. You push the thoughts from your head though as Anne walks into the room, freshly showered and grinning at her son and you, happy to see that things were clearly getting better with the two of you.
“Morning everyone!” She greets, going about making herself a cup of coffee. Harry watched you through the rest of breakfast, the two of you passing the fork back and forth until the eggs were gone. He kept thinking about how nice all of this had been and how easily it could go back to this but that damn test was looming over everything. It could ruin all of this but then he kept thinking how he already had ruined all of this but these moments gave him hope that just maybe it wasn’t over, that you and him still had a chance as a couple.
It had now been three days since he took the paternity test and still hadn’t gotten an answer but everyday he woke up with his hands shaking, a nervous sweat building on his skin as he thought about how today could be the day. This morning you had picked up on it as you awoke and knew instantly what he was thinking, so against your better judgement you pulled him close and allowed him to curl against you and cry.
“I don’ know what I’m goin’ to do.” He cried into your neck, holding you tight against him. “I can’ be the father, I can’t.”
“We’ll get through this, Harry,” You realized as you said it how that sounded and Harry clearly did too as he gave a small hiccup and lifted his head to frown down at you. “I mean… I.. we’ll get through finding out the results. I… we’ll figure out the rest when we get there.” You were so confused as to how you were feeling lately, about him, about the cheating, about the baby.
You loved Harry, you loved him so much, and he had been showing you how much he loved you these last few days. He was being caring, affectionate as best he could without letting it go too far and make you uncomfortable, he was being his old self and you had missed that. You missed Harry, and you missed being in a relationship with him. Maybe forgiving him wouldn’t be such a bad thing. He had been your life for so long, you could perhaps try at least.
It was later that afternoon, the two of you and Anne had been watching a movie when Harry’s phone rang. You looked over at him beside you and saw that his face had grown pale. You glance down at his phone and see it was his lawyer calling him. The results were in.
“Answer it, Harry.” You hiss at him, elbowing him. He looks over at you, his eyes wide and a crease formed between his brows. “I can do it.” You reach for the phone but he seems to snap out of it and stands up, accepting the call.
He walks across the room, his back to both of you as he talks low, his voice quiet. You and Anne look over at each other and she reaches over to take your hand as she picks up on the way your heart rate had increases and your breathing had become shallow as you focused on Harry, trying to hear what was happening but you couldn’t hear him.
And then the phone fell from his hand as he ended the call and your heart sank. That gave you the answer of what the news he had just received was and you felt your heart shattering all over again. Harry was to be a father, you just knew it.
“Harry?” Anne questions after a few moments of silence, Harry still with his back to the two of you. “What did he say?” But Harry still didn’t answer.
“Harry? Talk to us, please.” You stand then, releasing Anne to walk towards him. “Please.” Maybe it was the fact that you had come closer, or maybe it was just the fact that you had a quiet plea to your voice and he sensed you were close to tears, but he finally turned. His face was dry but his eyes were wide and he had an emotion hidden in his eyes that you couldn’t quite pick up on. “What did he say?”
“It’s…” He takes a deep breath and then to your astonishment, he began to smile. “It’s not mine.” His breath was just a whisper but you heard it loud and clear. “They said there wasn’ a match at all and there’s no way it’s mine.” Your head was buzzing, unable to form a coherent thought as you look up into those green eyes.
“Oh, Harry,” You both turn as Anne stands and rushes over to hug him tightly but you still just stood there. “I’ll… I’ll give you two some time to talk this through.” She kisses Harry’s cheek, then yours after giving you a quick hug, and leaves the room. Harry turns to you, silently questioning your thoughts.
“It’s over, love, it’s all over. We don’ have to worry abou’ this anymore.” All he wanted to hear now after hearing those amazing words was to hear you say you still loved him and were willing to give him another chance. “Okay, look,” He steps forward and takes your hands in his, gripping at you tightly. You look up into his eyes, still wanting your thoughts to straighten themselves out but your head was still buzzing so instead you allowed him to talk. “I know I still messed up, I cheated, and tha’ will forever be my bigges’ regret bu’ if you le’ me, I will spend the rest of my life tryin’ to make up for this. I love you, I love you so much, Y/N. Please… give me jus’ one more chance, tha’s all ‘m askin for.”
“Harry,” You whisper, releasing one of his hands to instead bring your hand up to rest on his slightly stubble covered cheek. He hadn’t shaved that morning but you liked the feel of it under your fingertips. “It’s going to take a lot for me to fully forgive you.” He sighs, closing his eyes as he willed the tears not to come. He knew this was it. He had made it to the other side of this whole pregnancy ordeal so now you were going to say since he didn’t need you anymore you were going to leave. “But I’m willing to try.” His eyes pop open and he sees you giving him a soft smile.
“Really?” He whispers, unable to believe that you were willing to give him another chance, and give him another shot at being a better boyfriend this time. You still wanted him, you still wanted to be with him, and he was stunned that somehow, after all this shit you were willing to try again. He didn’t deserve you, he really didn’t.
“I love you so much, Harry,” You say. “And even after all of this, through all of this, if I can still love you, then just maybe we really can make this work.”
“Oh my god.” He whispers it like a prayer and then pulls you into his arms, his face burying in your neck as he holds you close. Your arms wrap tightly around his shoulders, both of you with grins you couldn’t control. “I love you, I love you so much.” He pulls back to say and then his lips were on yours. “I don’ deserve you-”
“Just shut up and kiss me again, Harry. I’m done talking.” You cut him off, a grin on your face. His face broke out into his adorable boyish grin that you had missed so much. You tangle your fingers in his hair as his lips join with yours again.
Hey, for an andreil prompt, how about the boys making each other blush ?? :) xx
thanks!! this is from a high school au i’ve been thinking about recently, since i kept changing my mind about what i wanted to write. enjoy! xx
Neil tossed his textbook onto the
coffee table with a heavy thud. “Fuck
this. I’ll take the F as long as I don’t have to think about thermodynamics
“That will not work out so well for
you when you are forced to repeat Grade 12 Physics,” Andrew said, not looking
up from the cocoon from which he was currently typing out an English essay. Neil
knew it wasn’t due for another week, but Andrew seemed unusually intent on it: he
had agreed immediately when Neil had suggested a study sleepover and he hadn’t
looked away from his laptop once in the past hour.
Neil would have to try harder.
“I’m going to get ice cream, do you
want any?” he asked, getting up and dusting off his jeans.
Andrew’s eyes flickered up to Neil’s, cold with disdain.
“Right, stupid question,” Neil said.
Andrew narrowed his eyes, nodded once,
and then went back to his essay as if Neil wasn’t even there.
Neil figured that was as good as he
was going to get, and went to pick up his coat from the pile of outerwear near
author’s note: A quick shoutout to @iloveyouhaz because I submitted a part of this story to her and she was kind enough to read it and give me feedback! Hope y’all enjoy! P.S: I had the song ‘Sick of Losing Soulmates’ by Dodie Clark on repeat while writing this, so give it a listen while you read! You can find it here.
summary: Harry has an imaginary friend called Y/N
Even as a child, Harry was introverted. While the other
children his age would be out and about playing, he preferred to stay in the
comfort of his bedroom, spending time with his imaginary friend Y/N.
“Again Y/N? But you were only here the other day!” Fionn
exclaimed down the line. I nibbled the skin at the corner of my lip and fiddled
with a loose thread on the hem of my t-shirt.
“I know Fionn but I really enjoyed it, I’d love to come
while you are actually filming, so I can really see what it’s like” I tried. Fionn
had been suspicious for a couple of weeks now, he was too smart to know that my
pathetic excuses for returning to the set were for more than just ‘spending
time with my best friend who has been away from me for so long’. That’s the
excuse I used last time, he stared at me blankly for a solid minute before
“Y/N, what’s going on?” he asked. But he wasn’t yet smart
enough to realise my true reasons for wanting to keep going back. Harry had got
my name somehow, off Fionn’s phone most likely, and after adding me on Twitter,
we had been messaging back and forth all day, every day since he appeared
besides Fionn on my first visit. My newspaper knowledge and pre-judgement of
him was completely wrong, I was unable to stop myself from being drawn towards his
“Nothing Fionn” I said unconvincingly. There was silence at
the end of the line.
“It’s Harry isn’t it…” he said eventually and I hesitated before
offering him a quiet ‘yes’.
“I knew it! The damn boy hasn’t shut up about you!” I giggled.
“He’s a good guy Y/N” he said and I hummed. “Ok, come down again tomorrow, I’ll
meet you at the gates like normal” he added and I thanked him.
“See you tomorrow” he finished and we said out goodbyes. I bit
firmly into my bottom lip to conceal the smile that was about to erupt on to my
face. This is ridiculous, I was getting giddy about seeing a guy I’d had met in
person for 10 minutes and had a 2 week virtual conversation with. But still my
heart leapt as his name flashed up on my screen, notifying me that I had received
a Twitter message.
Pull yourself together,
From Harry: So, Fionn tells me that you’re coming to set
tomorrow and that I’m to keep you company while he’s filming x
I bit my lip and let out a contented sigh as I rushed to
send my reply.
To Harry: Did he
now? And what if I don’t want you to keep me company? I hear Tom’s a good laugh
From Harry: You wound me, you know my jokes are way
better than his. And we both know that you want me to keep you company ;) x
To Harry: cocky x
From Harry: me? Cocky? Never! See you tomorrow beautiful :) x
I didn’t attempt to mute my squeal as I collapsed back on
“Morning Miss” one of the security guards called as I approached
the gate the next morning.
“Morning Lewis” I said as I approached. I had become on a
first name basis with several of the of the security members on my now twice
weekly visits. There was Lewis, the tall bald man who had denied me access on
my first visit, John, who was now only working 3 days a week so he could spend
time with his sick mother, and Matt, who’s sister has just had twins.
“Y/N!” a voice called as I slipped past the gates. There was
no crowd today, the sky was overcast and in the distance rain clouds littered
the horizon. Harry appeared from between two trailers and offered me a lopsided
grin on his approach. My stomach knotted with each step he took towards me and I
had to fight to keep the blush from my cheeks and maintain as much dignity as I
“Hi Harry” I grinned as we met, “I thought Fionn was coming
to meet me?” I said.
“He was but he got called to set early, we’re running ahead
of schedule, so I came instead. It that ok?” he asked with a tilt of the head. His
eyebrows were pulled down and his lips fell into a small frown as he looked at
me, almost as if he was worried that I didn’t want to see him. I resisted the
urge to reach forward and push his lips back up into their perfect smile.
“Of course it’s ok!” I rushed quickly to ease his worry, to
which he erupted into a dimple popping grin.
“Good!” he beamed, “come on, I’ll show you where they are filming”
he said turning slightly and waiting for me to fall in to stride beside him
before we began to make our way across the set. His arm brushed lightly with
mine as we walked, the back of his hand dusting the skin of my own with each
step he took. Both of us were acutely aware of the contact but neither sad
anything about it, instead choosing to continue walking unnecessarily close to
one another with as much feigned indifference as we could manage.
“Are you not filming today?” I asked as we squeezed past two
“No, I’m not in any of the scenes for a couple of days. They
are filming some of the opening shots on the beaches and I don’t come into the
film until later on” he explained. I opened my mouth to question him further
but he glanced at me with a raised brow and shook his head.
“Don’t bother, Fionn already told me not to tell you
anything” he smirked.
“Damn it!” I cried.
“But when we met you said you wouldn’t be able to resist if I
started asking you questions?” I said, reminding him of our first meeting to
which he chuckled and nodded his head.
“I did, so please don’t try cause Fionn will kill me if I say
anything” he laughed. I seized my opportunity.
“Does Fionn die in the movie? Does he get rescued? Do you
die? Who dies? Will I cry? What were you filming the other day and why were you
all covered in some black sticky stuff?” I rushed. In seconds Harry had me
pinned against the side of a white trailer, his hand pressed lightly over my
mouth. My stomach erupted in a swarm of butterflies and my blood sizzled in my
veins. Harry hesitated for a couple of seconds when he realised the position we
had found ourselves in but relaxed when he realised I wasn’t going to push him
away in disgust. He removed his hand from my lips but didn’t pull away. His breathing
was shallow and a slight blush tinted his cheeks.
“Don’t push it Y/N, cause I will tell you everything and
Fionn will never speak to me again” he said lightly and I giggled.
“Sorry, it was worth a shot” I beamed. He gazed at me with
bright, thoughtful eyes but said nothing.
“Come on” he said softly, pulling away from me and leading
Harry and I watched filming for several hours. Fionn caught
sight of us not long after we arrived and sent me a small wave which I returned
and made a mental note to hug and kiss him later. Harry explained all that he
could without giving too much away, describing the process and equipment as
best he could while repeatedly adding ‘I don’t know much about making movies’.
“So this bit is going to be for the start of the movie?” I asked
as Fionn once again ran along the sand carrying a stretcher.
“Yeah this is one of the first scenes” he said.
“And why aren’t you in this bit?” I asked.
“Cause I’m meant to be on that boat over there” he said,
pointing to a large, white boat in the distance. ‘Oh’ I said with a small nod. There
was a moment of silence as someone called ‘cut’ and ran over to Fionn and the
other boy carrying the stretcher and spoke quickly to them.
“So did you really come today just to watch some of the
filming?” Harry asked after a while. I kept my eyes on the beach full of people
before me and shrugged slightly.
“I’d be lying if I said it was my only reason” I said,
glancing quickly at Harry who already had his gaze firmly fixed on me. His cheeks
flushed and he bowed his head to hide the smile pulling at the corner of his
“I’ve really liked talking to you over these past couple of
weeks” he said quietly and I looked at him once more.
“Really?” I asked, the end of my sentence rising in hope and
my eyebrows raising.
“Really” he said genuinely with a small nod. I offered him a
beaming smile and felt the heat rising in my cheeks.
“Maybe we could hang out, away from set, I mean. We could go
for dinner or something?” he rambled nervously. I giggled and he blushed.
“Sure, I think Fionn is getting sick of seeing me anyway” I laughed
to which Harry grinned.
“No, I think he’s just getting sick of the hugs and kisses”
he joked and I erupted into a fit of laughter. Harry watched with glittering
eyes and a small smile on his lips.
“Yeah he doesn’t like that” I chuckled finally, wiping away a
small tear which had leaked from the corner of my eye.
“No he doesn’t,” he said, “I wouldn’t mind it though” he grinned
cheekily and I giggled, reaching up on my tip toes to plant a gently kiss on
his cheek, much more delicate than the ones I give Fionn. Harry’s face blushed
scarlet and I smiled.
“Hey, Y/N!” someone called from the beach. Fionn was making
his way towards us and gestured for me to come over to a small set of steps
down to the beach.
“I better go see him” I said gently to Harry. He nodded and
offered me a small smile.
“So, I’ll message you later about dinner, yeah?” he asked
and I smiled.
“Yeah, I’ll send you my number” I said lightly to which he
grinned. I took a couple of steps around him and headed towards the steps where
Fionn was not waiting patiently at the bottom. I turned back as I reached the
“Oi, Harry!” I called to grab his attention, his head
snapped towards me and he raised his eyebrows, “see you around” I grinned. His smile
beamed so bright beneath the sun I forgot how to breathe for several seconds.
What are you about to read: A short one shot where Harry and Y/N shares a steamy kiss while Woman plays in the background. Italics are song lyrics!
The music kept playing in the background as Harry mumbled the words, his delicate hand holding a scotch half way finished.
She eyed him up and down, taking in every single detail as he kept moving his head to the beat of the new melody, a proud smile on her face as she admired him from where she was seated.
The song kept playing as Y/N made her way to him, leaving her own fruity beverage on the coffee table -careful not to knock down the alcohol bottles. She wanted him; wanted his wet mouth on hers, his warm- sweet tongue inside her mouth. She didn’t care about the nasty thoughts when she stood right before him, her silk blouse all wrinkled from previous make out sessions.
“Hello there,” he looked up, the song kept playing in the background as he mentioned her to sit on his lap with a quick glance.
This thing upon me, howls like a beast…
“I want you to destroy me with your mouth,” she spoke, now fully seated on Harry’s thighs.
You were tired and emotionally drained for what felt like the entire next week. With no classes to go to, and a job not available to you, you found yourself in the flat far more in one week than you felt you’d been there in the past month. You didn’t wear pants, drank a lot of hot cocoa, and caught up on way too much Netflix for things to be healthy.
Harry helped you clear everything from your bed – all your notes and textbooks and notebooks and extra papers and quizzes you’d kept to study just in case. He spent three days carefully organizing all of it on your desk and putting papers into folders and putting different textbooks all in order alphabetically.
You knew he was only doing it because he wanted to be near you to watch out for you without suffocating you or asking you if you were okay. You were just exhausted, and even when you walked – which was usually at a purposeful and quick speed that even Harry had to jog to keep up with from time to time – had slowly significantly to a languid and purposeless stroll.
So you allowed him to do his little organizing, stopping every once in a while to read a paper, or flip through the marked and worn pages of your textbooks. It occurred to him the ridiculous and meticulous amount of work you’d put into knowing every little thing, and he wondered if maybe it had just gotten to the point where you’d just started memorizing your textbooks. He couldn’t remember a time he’d ever worked this hard in his life. Sure, memorizing scripts or writing songs was difficult, but he always had others to back him up. And you were on your own. Your entire education was on your shoulders.