hp-1

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I am so delighted that somebody uploaded this whole scene!

Context (spoilers for the Battle Royale episode): it’s a non-canon Battle Royale for the hell of it between five of the party members, Vex and Percy are out, Taryon has been hiding/fleeing/casting buff spells on himself the entire game and is unscathed, Keyleth has turned herself into a black dragon and is hiding at the bottom of a pit of acid (as you do), and Grog is down to 1 HP. In dire straits, he remembers the game-breakingly powerful but incredibly random magical item that he has been itching to use for ages in the main campaign: the Deck of Many Things.

HP Pick Up Line #1
  • Harry: Hey, Malfoy!
  • Draco: What is it now, Potter?
  • Harry: Are you the Heir of Slytherin?
  • Draco: Potter, for the love of-
  • Harry: Because I'd like to get my 'basilisk' into your 'chamber of secrets' *attempts to wink* *achieves a weird eye twitch*
  • Draco:
  • Harry:
  • Draco: You're lucky you're beautiful.
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hp + poetry fleur delacour (1¯50)

he placed his hands
on my mind
before reaching
for my waist
my hips
or my lips
he didn’t call me
beautiful first
he called me exquisite

— rupi kaur

What she says: I’m fine

What she means: Symmetra isn’t a trash character just because “you don’t have to aim” no one bitches about Winston or Mercy or Reinhardt or Junkrat or Torb, I’m sorry that you can’t handle a slow Indian woman with a range of 7m and turrets that have ONE (1) hp, there’s only like 3 good places to hide a generator or teleporter maybe you should switch off genji for once

things the hp fandom agrees on

1. UMBRIDGE WAS FUCKING EVIL AND WE HATE HER TO THE BOTTOM OF OUR BLACK HEARTS (unless we’re talking about avpm, then she is fabulous)

2. harry, though how much we may hate/love him, was oblivious as fuck

3. deamus. deamus was a thing and they danced at the yule ball together

Total Mayhem hero tier list

Genji: no. dashing around everywhere and getting sword every 20 seconds sounds cute but doesnt mean much when everyone has at least 400 health

McCree: no. sure, you have flashbang and roll every four seconds, but you’re still squishy as hell and actually need to aim. also your ult will get you killed even faster than usual since you need to lock on for twice as long

Pharah: kinda? 99% of the time all 12 players will be on the point so you can just mash shift until your head hits the skybox and click randomly and be basically guaranteed to hit something. also your ult is really good with zarya’s, and zarya is mandatory. definitely try it if you have a mercy

Reaper: eh. you do decent damage and your ult is okay but there are better options out there. maybe worth a shot

76: kinda? aimbot is decent and healing station is a godsend, but you still have to aim. also your sprint doesnt benefit from the 75% cooldown reduction which sucks

Sombra: almost mandatory. hacking someone removes the entire benefit of the game mode and usually results in them dying. Apagandoing the luces is one of the only two ways to actually end the five minute overtimes and follow up on black holes. you will win games

Tracer: ehhhh. you basically never die but that’s about it and literally half of the cast also never dies and actually does something useful while theyre at it. pass

Bastion: what the fuck are you doing

Hanzo: kinda. scatter is still bullshit against 2x hp targets, especially when you get it 4x as fast. also dragons are probably the best followup to black hole

Junkrat: tentative yes. you can basically fly with your mine and you get tire literally every 15 seconds and it’s really fucking good

Mei: meh. stalls the point forever but so does over half the cast and blizzard is way less annoying than you’d think when it takes three or four headshots to secure a kill

Torb: troll tier. your armor is useless and good luck actually upgrading your turret, but a 1000 hp Molten Core every 30 seconds is nothing to sneeze at

Widowmaker: please do not

D.Va: sure. defense matrix still runs out normally but you can boost all over the place like a fiend and get bomb stupid fast

Orisa: troll tier. 2 second cooldown on shields and a team wide damage boost every 20 seconds while having your Shift up basically constantly. have fun

Rein: not really. if you want shields use orisa and if you want a setup ult use zarya

Roadhog: noob trap tier. 1200 hp with a 300hp self heal and a hook every 2 seconds sounds nice but you can’t actually oneshot anything and serve as the biggest ult battery in a mode where everything is already an ult battery

Winston: MANDATORY. 1000 base hp. literally 1 second cooldown on jump, which you might recognize as the time it takes to land after jumping. 4 second cooldown on the most annoying shield in the game. if for some reason you ever end up below 200 hp (unlikely) just press q and go up to 2000 hp and shove everyone off the point (this is the other way to end overtime). even his tickle cannon is godlike since everyone is always bunched up. if you don’t have a winston you will lose

Zarya: MANDATORY. 2 second cooldowns on self-shield and teammate shield. 800 hp, 400 of which regenerates. you will literally never not be at 100 energy. toblestien every 30 seconds. melts thru DVa, protects healers, synergizes with winston. the only downside is that you NEED a teammate to follow up on grav or nothing will die, but whatever. if you do not have a zarya you will lose

Ana: MANDATORY. the cooldown on your sleep is so low you can permastun someone until they get kicked for inactivity (seriously). the cooldown on grenade is so low you can nade yourself repeatedly and have every successive one get the heal bonus benefit from the previous one. nano every 15 seconds. keeps aforementioned Zarya and Winston alive forever. good character

Lucio: pretty good. everyone is bunched up so you can heal a lot really easily. that’s about it but that’s all you really need

Mercy: MANDATORY. remember back when the game first launched and Mercy was mandatory in every single game because you had res every single team fight? this is like that but you’re rezzing tanks with 1000 hp every 30 seconds. heroes literally never die

Symmetra: cute but ultimately kinda bad

Zen: dude. he gets no benefit from the cooldown reductions and has to aim. why would you do this to yourself

anonymous asked:

Is it possible that the reason Sans only has one HP is because his bones are brittle from the smoking?

That cannot possibly be it! Original Sans had 1 HP and I don’t think he smokes, so there must be another reason – which I yet have to see confirmed in-game or by Toby Fox.

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@scourgify​‘s hp edit meme: 1 out of [3] important events:

The Hogwarts founders, also known as the Hogwarts Four, were four witches and wizards who established Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry during the medieval era, in the 10th century.