I JUST WANT TO GET MY OWN WAND AND GO TO HOGWARTS AND BE SORTED AND EXPLORE THE CASTLE AND CHILL IN MY COMMON ROOM AND PLAY QUIDDITCH AND LEARN MAGIC AND VISIT HOGSMEADE AND DRINK BUTTERBEER AND JOIN DUMBLEDORE’S ARMY AND RIDE A THESTRAL AND BE HAPPY IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK.

I laugh at how the Harry Potter movies always had to one-up the books like

Book 1: Harry keeps Quirrell from the Stone, passes out and Quirrell dies
Warner Bros: aye let’s have Harry fucking murder Quirrell and then Voldemort can fly straight through him lmao
Book 2: Harry fights the Basilisk
Warner Bros: CLIMB. THE. STATUE!
Book 3: Harry blows up Aunt Marge
Warner Bros: *sends her outside like a lost balloon* lol bye bye
Book 4: Harry cleverly tricks the dragon and gets to the golden egg
Warner Bros: DRAGON CHASE! FLY POTTER! FLY FOR YOUR FUCKING LIFE! Oh, and kill the dragon..
Book 5: Fred and George summon their brooms and fly out of the school
Warner Bros: FIREWORKSSS!!!!!!
Book 6: Quiet Christmas at the Burrow discussing Draco, the Prince and Fenrir
Warner Bros: LIGHT ‘EM UP UP UP, LIGHT ‘EM UP UP UP, LIGHT ‘EM UP UP UP, I’M ON FIYAHHH!!!
Book 7: Voldemort duels Harry in the Great Hall, instantly defeated because the Elder Wand is Harry’s
Warner Bros: Hold my Butterbeer

Let’s Get Something Straight.

LET HUFFLEPUFFS HAVE A RESTING BITCH FACE. LET HUFFLEPUFFS BE FIREY AND PASSIONATE. LET HUFFLEPUFFS BE INCREDIBLY WITTY AND STUDIOUS. LET HUFFLEPUFFS GET INTO FIST FIGHTS.

LET HUFFLEPUFFS BE MORE THAN FICKLE, POLITE, PACIFIST, HAPPY-GO-LUCKY, BLITHE, AND APPROACHABLE. BEING A HUFFLEPUFF IS MORE THAN LOOKING INNOCENT AND SWEET.

I am a Hufflepuff with a horrible resting bitch face. I am a Hufflepuff who people see as unapproachable. I am a Hufflepuff with strong beliefs and passion.

The traits found in Hufflepuff are listed below:

  • Dedication
  • Hard Work
  • Fair play
  • Patience
  • Kindness
  • Tolerance
  • Unafraid of toil
  • Loyalty

Hufflepuffs are dedicated. They are dedicated to their studies, their friends, their families, their hobbies- Hufflepuffs show dedication to the things they love. They don’t dedicate themselves to be praised. it is a self sacrificing quality, much like the rest of the Hufflepuff House traits. Dedication goes hand-in-hand with hard work. It’s enduring when shit hits the fan, it’s getting out of bed when all you want to do is sleep, it’s not accepting handouts, it’s becoming successful through honest work. Hufflepuffs get the most out of working hard, not smart. This isn’t because they aren’t smart, it’s because they believe it benefits them more. Hardwork brings knowledge. They learn how to fight with integrity to get what they want. They most definitely aren’t ones to cheat. Given the choice between cheating and failure, they would choose failure.

Patience is a virtue. I don’t take this to mean that Hufflepuffs don’t mind waiting around if a friend is running late, it means that Hufflepuffs are more willing than most to put a cap on their temperament. Hufflepuffs don’t get bothered easy. Whether it’s from natural ability or a constantly running internal monologue keeping them from blowing a fuse, they manage to handle adversity with as much dignity and grace as they can muster. I think it’s hard to tell what a Hufflepuff is thinking because they keep their opinions to themselves unless asked to express it. Patience has nothing to do with passion. A Hufflepuff is a master at picking their battles. They know what’s worth losing their temper over.  

Kindness: benevolent, intended for benefits rather than profit, loving, expressing goodwill. Who the fuck wants to be mean and rude all the time to everyone? Being kind does not mean being pushover. When did it become taboo to be kind? Why is being edgy all the sudden associated with being rude, pretentious, mean and cynical? Being kind is sincerely asking someone “how are you?” and being unafraid to receive an honest and drawn out response. Being kind is being a good listener, helping people for their benefit and not your own, it’s picking up trash in the movie theater so that the staff has less to clean. Being kind is leaving sweet, anonymous notes for people just to make their day a little bit better. Being kind is reveling in making someone smile or laugh. Being kind is smiling back when someone smiles at you. To be benevolent, to be nice, to be kind pushes away all self interest. It’s a selfless trait.

Tolerance is just nodding along with some gun slinging, homophobic, misogynistic jerk rambling about how Donald Trump will make America “great again”, even though you strongly disagree. Hufflepuffs, if you’ll notice, get along with virtually each house. They do not take it upon themselves to judge. Hufflepuffs are masters at accepting things that they cannot change; they cope well with diversity. If someone came up to a Hufflepuff and said that they were a supporter of pure-blood supremacy, the Hufflepuff would nod, say something (passive but sincere) along the lines of “that’s an interesting opinion,” then carry on with their day. Though they may not be at all happy about what was said, they do not take it upon themselves to get everyone to see the way that they see things. You can’t force people to listen. It’s not that Hufflepuffs don’t have opinions, they do, but, as the saying goes, “Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one.” They find that people respect your opinion and ask for it more when you present a judgement free environment for them.

This house is loyal. They’re a tolerant bunch, sure, but they will not tolerate bullies. It’s their sense of fraternity and loyalty that gives Hufflepuff something worth fighting for. It wouldn’t surprise me to see a Hufflepuff seventh year getting into a fist fight with a Ravenclaw seventh year because the Ravenclaw was making snarky remarks about a first year getting sorted into Hufflepuff. Hufflepuffs will argue, punch, kick, pull hair and scream if you somehow hurt someone they hold dear to them.  Don’t forget how fucking raw Badgers are. They’re one of the most fearless animals in the animal kingdom. This can maybe be seen as a flaw, however. In Goblet of Fire, the Hufflepuff House got so caught up in the competition between Cedric and Harry, good judgement was blurred by their unwavering loyalty. This brings me to believe that Hufflepuffs, if sufficiently provoked, can attack with the most underhanded and vicious insults ever. I don’t think it would be wise to bring a Hufflepuff to their breaking point in hopes of seeing this animosity. In most circumstances, however, loyalty is a virtue.  

I am so sick of the stigma that Hufflepuffs are these soft little balls of dough that are just so lukewarm compared to the other houses. Need I remind y’all that Hufflepuffs fought at the Battle of Hogwarts without hesitation? They rose to the occasion, they weren’t indifferent about the situation at hand at all- they were selfless, they were fearless. They fought because they loved their school, their friends, their teachers, and because it was the right thing to do.

  • Kindness should not be mistaken for weakness.
  • Tolerance should not be mistaken for neutrality
  • Patience should not be mistaken for dispassion
  • Loyalty gives them reason to fight
  • Hardwork and dedication make them goal-oriented
  • Fair play does not mean there is a lack of initiative

A Hufflepuff is not a clone of the Pillsbury Dough Boy. Hufflepuffs can have strong opinions, be passionate, reckless, brave, and enterprising.

Because Helga Hufflepuff didn’t sort her students by a particular aptitude, Hufflepuff should be one of the most diverse houses in Hogwarts. So don’t generalize all Hufflepuffs to fit the “looks like a cinnamon roll and is a cinnamon roll” archetype. Hufflepuffs can be fierce as fuck.

Draco, bursts into the room: it’s missing!!!

Harry: what’s missing??

Draco, stammering: th-the thing!! I-I don’t know harry!!

Harry, turns around with baby: what thing???

Draco: oh! Oof, nevermind you have it

Harry: wh-

Harry: yOU MEAN OUR CHILD?!

Marauders at Disney
  • James and Sirius, upon entering the park, make a beeline to secure fast passes for their favorite rides (the ones like Matterhorn, Indiana Jones, Space Mountain, etc.)
  • At this point, Remus is really regretting not investing in a pair of those child-leashes that a good third of the parents at the theme park are sporting.
  • Peter tries running after Sirius and James, but gives up (not being fast enough) and hangs back alongside Remus, getting distracted by the array of gift/candy shops lining Main Street USA
  • Remus has to get a picture of Sleeping Beauty’s castle upon entering. He just has to. 
  • James and Sirius are really smug when they get to cut in front of everyone with their fast passes. Remus just gives apologetic looks, and Peter has to shovel down the pretzel he bought before they get on the ride. 
  • Ok, so considering the average temperature for Scotland during the summer time is around fifty seven degrees, and for southern California (L.A.) it’s around eighty one- they’re dying.
  • James and Sirius are wearing the bare minimum, and Remus has to rent a locker to stuff his sweater into
  • Sirius is rocking a man bun
  • James buys a Wizard Mickey hat and absolutely refuses to take it off
  • Peter may or may not be on his fifth churro by the time lunch rolls around
  • Remus really enjoys the small corners and alleys of the park where the crowd thins 
  • Peter gets a coonskin hat from frontierland
  • Lots of shameless flirting with princesses coming from Sirius that result in autographs with the occasional phone number attached. 
  • James seeing the Ariel and automatically missing Lily
  • Peter getting sick on the teacups ride after James decides to spin theirs as fast as he fucking can.
  • Lots of “JAMES NO!” 
  • Sirius and James, after hearing about the two hundred feral cats that prowl the park at night, decide to go on a hunt for them
  • They legit smuggle cat nip inside the park and search the bushes for cats
  • Remus is so done with everyone’s shit
  • He just wants to have a normal visit at Disneyland is that so hard to ask?
  • Peter really wants to watch the parades, but Remus sees this as an opportune time to beat the crowds (now gathered along the street) to the rides
  • Remus is honestly ride or die. He doesn’t fuck with these slow ass tourists who have no idea where they’re going. He knows where to go and everyone is getting in his way.
  • Sirius getting picked on by characters (i.e. Chip ‘n Dale tugging on his man bun and snickering at it) 
  • James in a flexing contest with Gaston
  • Remus only taking pictures the Mickey and Friends characters
  • And he’s all embarrassed to walk up to them at first 
  • James taking the mic from the tour guide on Jungle Cruise because he thinks his jokes are lame, so he starts dishing out puns like its nothing and does a mic drop
  • Peter screaming a little too shrilly when the Yeti pops out on the Matterhorn
  • Sirius and James trying to find the entrance to the secret basketball court on the matterhorn
  • Also using alohomora to get into restricted areas of the park
  • Sirius singing Small World on repeat
  • James trying to harmonize
  • Remus really likes walking through Sleeping Beauty’s Castle (James and Sirius are hardly impressed)
  • But his favorite ride is the Disneyland Rail Road
  • Peter’s favorite ride is Star Tours and he convinces the others to ride it at least four times throughout the day.
  • James’ favorite ride is Indiana Jones. When he sees the snake statues in the ride, he mutters “Snivellus?”
  • Sirius prefers Pirates of the Caribbean 
  • Remus getting really insecure because he notices little kids looking at the scars on his face with mild confusion- some are even scared
  • But then Peter Pan comes over and he does his thing. He tells Remus (making a big show of it so that others can hear) that he must’ve put up a good fight against the “pirate” that did that, and comments on how brave he is
  • Remus is just smiling the entire time and plays along with Peter Pan, and the kids gathered around are awestruck
  • Sirius and James posing for the camera on Splash Mountain 
  • Having to restrain Sirius and James from jumping into the Rivers of America to get to the island

Hufflepuff: Sometimes, I hate people

Gryffindor: Hahahaha

Ravenclaw: Nice try, ball of sunshine

Slytherin: Tolerance just for the sake of company, or out of decency is despicable.

Hufflepuff: Only Sly understands me. Give me a hug!

Slytherin: The need for physical affection is even more loathsome.

Hufflepuff: *hugs Slytherin anyway*

  • Snape: I hate you, but your mom was pretty hot.
  • Harry: wha- really??1?1?2
  • Harry: this- this changes everything
  • Harry: I understand you now
  • Harry: you're like my hero now
  • Harry: you know what I'm gunna name my kid after you
  • Harry: wow your just so great
  • Snape: omfg this is why I hate you
Things Ravenclaws Say #28
  • Ravenclaw: It's BI day!
  • Ravenclaw: Which means.......
  • *All the houses sigh*
  • First year: What's wrong
  • Slytherin: Look, we love bi people, but we're very sick of this song.
  • First Year: What song?
  • Gryffindor: You'll hear it. And don't worry, they play it all day long, EVERY year.
  • Ravenclaw: *Starts playing Girls/Girls/Boys*
  • First Year: This is a great song, what's wrong?
  • 3 hours later
  • Ravenclaw: GIRLS LOVE GIRLS AND BOYS
  • First Year: It wont stop. MAKE IT STOP.
Marauders as Parks and Rec Gifs

James:

Sirius:

Remus:

Peter:

Lily:

Lily and James:

James and Remus:

James and Sirius:

Remus and Sirius:

Everyone @ Peter:

Slytherin: *dragging self to class* Mornings? More like mournings

Slytherin: I swear I’m gonna punch the first person who talks to me

|Slytherin’s favorite Hufflepuff is walking by|

Slytherin: *to Hufflepuff, all too soon* What a lovely day!

Hufflepuff: Isn’t it? I can almost smell the excitement and the promise of a new day

Slytherin: *trying to impress* If you observe keenly, the sky seems to be greeting us