hp chamber of secrets

I had a dream last night that Heaven was a Harry Potter AU.

Steve Irwin was Care of Magical Creatures professor

Carrie Fisher was professor for Defence Against the Dark Arts and ran extra defence classes for all of her female students

And David Bowie was the Divination professor

  • Voldemort: The Boy who Lived... come to die
  • Harry: Die?😉🔥 Only quitters let death catch up!😤🏃🏻 Chosen One⚡️👐🏻 Rip Dumbledore💙😭 Keep fighting!😵 Gryffindor quidditch 🔱❤️ Captain😅😅 The Prophet is for Pussies 😤😤 Merlin #1✌🏻👐🏻 Friends💛

ok so Ron says he doesn’t like spiders because when he was 3 the twins turned his teddy bear into a spider right? the twins are only 2 years older than Ron, which means they were FIVE YEARS OLD when they did this and I’m just??????? like they were five and they didn’t even have WANDS and they managed to deliberately turn a bear into a spider???? even if they managed to steal a wand from their siblings or parents that’s a really tricky bit of transfiguration and at age five most kids are just doing uncontrolled magic….. like TBH in my opinion Fred and George had more innate talent than the trio combined but they just wanted to chill and do pranks and I respect tf out of that

  • Umbridge: Boys and girls are not permitted to stand within eight inches of eachother!
  • *Gay Wizard laughter*

it really disappoints me that jkr didn’t bring back the ford anglia in any of the books after chamber of secrets. like how great would it have been if, in deathly hallows, when harry is in the forbidden forest, ready to die, the car just comes speeding through, plowing down voldemort and all the death eaters…just imagine that

  • Draco: there's a big sale going on right now
  • Harry: really, where?
  • Draco: in my room. Clothes are 100% off *winks*
  • Harry: *picking petals off of a flower* he loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves me not. He-
  • Draco: HE LOVES YOU HE FUCKING LOVES YOU! *runs at him* tackles him to the ground* *aggressively kisses him*