“Secretary Ross has a Congressional Medal of Honor, which is one more than you have.” You listened to the cold debate between Rhodey and Sam. You were positive Rhodey would win, him being Rhodey. As much as you liked Sam, but Rhodey knew what he was talking about. You weren’t even sure if you would know what you’d be talking about when you figured out your side, but you were leaning towards the Accords, even with not being at Lagos when Wanda accidentally threw a contained explosion towards a building which killed eleven Wakandans. Something told you Wanda hadn’t being fully focused, ‘cause you were sure she could control her powers.
“So let’s say we agree to this thing.” Your eyes shift to exasperated Tony in a decorative orange chair. His hand sprawled over his face. His eyes go up in exasperation as Sam continues speaking. “How long before they Lojack us like a bunch of common criminals?”
“A 117 countries wanna sign this. A 117, Sam, and you’re like ‘no, that’s cool. We got it’.”
“How long are you going to play both sides?”
“I have an equation,” Vision declares. You were fidgeting with the ring you often kept hidden(despite the size of the diamond) on your finger. Rhodey and Sam turned to see him sitting on his own chair.
“Oh, this will clear it up,” Sam says. Yeah, you thought it would.
“In the eight years since Mr. Stark has announced himself as Iron Man, the number of known enhanced persons has grown exponentially. During the same period, the number of potentially world-ending events has risen at a commensurate rate.”
“Are you saying it’s our fault?” Steve looks up from the thick Accords book. You raise your brows at him. Um…Well, the team….Think about it…
“I’m saying there may be a casualty. Our very strength invites challenge. Challenge incites conflict. Conflict..breeds catastrophe. Oversight…oversight is not an idea that can be dismissed out of hand.”
“Boom,” Rhodey says simply. It earns him a glare from his debate competitor. You knew he’d win the debate.
“Tony,” Natasha says. Your lover brings his exasperated hand off his face. “You’re being uncharacteristically non-hyperverbal.”
“It’s because he’s already made up his mind,” Steve once again looks up from the book.
“Boy, you know me so well,” Tony remarks. He stands up and heads to the kitchen. “Actually, I’m nursing an electromagnetic headache. That’s what’s going on, Cap. It’s just pain.” Oh god, that drove your suspicions a bit. Something was wrong. Tony wasn’t feeling exactly great. You were the only person who seemed to care, and you were glad you noticed. Sometimes how the team treated him just angered you.
“It’s discomfort. Who’s putting coffee grounds in the disposal? Am I running a bed and breakfast for a biker gang?” He asks. Tony brings out his phone and a holographic pops out with the image of a black boy. Tony turns his head for a moment. “Oh, that’s Charles Spencer, by the way. He’s a great kid. Computer engineering degree, 3.6 GPA, had a floor-level gig at Intel for the fall. But first, he wanted to put a few miles on his soul before he parked behind a desk. See the world.”
Oh god, he had a sobby speech that had guilted him a lot, you realized. When you were there earlier at MIT, you started to think Tony hadn’t gone to the restroom. He may’ve saw a grieving mom instead who blamed him. Oh god…
“Maybe be of service. Charlie didn’t want to go to Vegas or Fort Lauderdale which is where I would do. He didn’t go to Paris or Amsterdam, which sounds fun. He decided to spend his summer building sustainable housing for the poor-guess where? Sokovia!” He slaps the sound of a slapping paper. You deeply exhale. This had worked him up big time. Why couldn’t the team understand? Why couldn’t the team…be more supportive of him, sometimes?
“He wanted to make a difference, I suppose. We won’t know because we dropped a building on him while we were kicking ass.” Tony took a sip of coffee while walking over. “There’s no decision-making process here. We need to be put in check! Whatever form that takes, I’m game. If we can’t accept limitations, if we’re boundary-less, we’re no better than the bad guys.”
“Tony, if someone dies on our watch, we don’t give up,” Steve states.
“Who said we’re giving up?”
“We are if we’re not taking responsibility for our actions. This document just shifts the blame.”
“Sorry, Steve. That is just dangerously arrogant. This is the United Nations we’re talking about.” Steve makes a horrible expression, making you give a horrible roll of eyes. It’s not the World Security Counsil, it’s not Shield, it’s not Hydra.”
“No, but it’s run by people with agendas, and agendas change.”
“That’s good! That’s why I’m here. When I realized what my weapons were capable of in the wrong hands, I shut it down and stopped manufacturing.”
“Tony, you chose to do that. If we sign this, we surrender our right to choose!” Steve says. You exhale, crossing your arms. You shake your head.
“What if this panel sends us somewhere we don’t think we should go? What if there’s somewhere we need to go and they don’t let us? We may not be perfect, but the safest hands are still are own.”
“If we don’t do this now, it’s gonna be done to us later. That’s the fact. That won’t be pretty.”
“You’re saying they’ll come for me,” Wanda speaks up. Nah, they wouldn’t.
“We would protect you.” Wanda’s head turns to Vision. You had always wondered about those two.
“Maybe Tony is right.”
You furrowed your brows looking at Natasha’s declaration. “If we have one hand on the wheel, we can still steer. If we take it off-”
“Aren’t you the same woman who told the government to kiss her ass a few years ago?” Sam questions her sudden opinion.
“I’m just..raiding the terrain. We have made some very public mistakes. We need to win their trust back.”
“Focus up. I’m sorry. Did I just mishear you or did you agree with me?”
“Oh, I wanna take it back now,” Natasha says. Tony shakes a finger. “No, you can’t retract it. Thank you, unprecedented. Okay, case closed. I win.”
You turn your eyes to see Cap on his phone. His concerned expression….
“I have to go.”
He stands up and leaves abruptly, leaving you all here to debate among ourselves. You swallow. “A lotta conflict could come up if you don’t sign.” Heads turn to you. You’ve made your decision. “And we should tone it down a bit. The energy’s been a bit hyper, don’t’cha think?”
“Well of course you agree with him,” Sam remarks. You give him a look. “I’m not necessarily a fan of it 100 percent. I’m not exactly a fan of Ross, and I’m not sure about the quality of who makes up the panel. But in the long run, it’s a safer choice.”
“The safer choice,” Sam mutters. You throw out a short sigh. “Well, what if there was a family around here? What if there were kids running around the place-wouldn’t you want safer for them? And even without kids, do you wanna come back and suddenly have regrets when one of us gets hurt when the panel could’ve made a difference? You know this isn’t worth fighting about, Sam. I know you do.”
“Who would be having kids in this chaos of a world in the first place?!” Sam exclaims. You shrug, throwing your hands out. “I don’t know! It’s just possible, Sam, you don’t know always what is up with people!” You say. And then you think of Tony. You wouldn’t be having kids with him any time soon-probably at all. He doesn’t wanna ruin them. Partially, you wanted a kid or two. But then there were the missions and there might be one day where you don’t come back. That was scary. That you couldn’t do to your kids. You knew Tony couldn’t either.
But you were at least married to him before you could ever loose him, or before he could lose you. It was a simple fact, you could be killed. You were strong, though. You wouldn’t let yourself get killed if you could help it for Tony’s sake. He’d suffer worse than he has without you. Everyone else treated him like crap. Tony had anxiety-you only found out a few weeks ago. He’s been bottling it up, and you didn’t like that. So he talked to you and you listened very intently. Apparently, he tried to talk to Bruce once and he fell asleep. Fell asleep. Your view changed on the man immediately.
“Are you talking about you and Stark?” Sam finally blurts.
“Wha-no! Can you not see generally, Sam?” Your jaw drops. You had a feeling Tony was also annoyed. “Cap’s going off doing whatever with only a ‘I have to go’ could be a girl for all I know, and I didn’t ask questions!”
“We all know you have a relationship, Y/N,” Natasha says. You shake your head. “Oh god, not you too.”
“Yeah, and what if we do?” Tony finally says. You slightly wanna walk out, but you can’t exactly.
“Wouldn’t be a surprise,” Sam says. “It explains the freakishly large diamond on your ring finer, Y/N.”
“That I thought that I had hidden very well,” You eye him. Sam was on your nerves, and Natasha was too despite her siding with Tony on these Accords.
Your nerves are blown. “Our relationship is just not any of your business!” You swipe your hands flat. “Okay?! I’m serious. Just fuck off!”
“Fine! Fine!” Sam surrenders. “I’ll back off.” You eyed him again. You shake your head and head off into your room. You were tired for now. Since it was around maybe four, you decide to settle down really early. You tell Friday to have no one disturb you since you were gonna take a shower. So you rinse down over your skin, cleanse your skin and hair, and you soon dry off. Sometimes, you would shower with Tony. But did it look like you were in the mood? …..No. You weren’t.
After you get out, you pull on a purple lounge shirt and black lounge pants. It was darker, now, and you flop back on your bed. A knock comes to the door. “Come in.” And of course it was him. Tony.
“You doing alright?” He sits on your bed. You sit up against your headboard. “I dunno….I’m sorry how I bursted out back there. I don’t know what’s up with me.”
“Well how ya talk is part of how I fell in love with you, wouldn’t you agree?”
You exhale. “Yeah, I guess.” You then wait a moment. “And I’m sorry about mentioning kids and all, I dunno..”
“No, it’s fine, Y/N.”
You were sure it wasn’t fine. “It probably bugs you-it bugs me somewhat. Wanting to have something I can’t protect.”
“You wanna have kids?” Tony asks.
“I-I don’t know!” You say. Your eyes stare down to your lap for a short moment before they face Tony. It could be hard to face Tony, sometimes. But he was your husband. He wasn’t supposed to be hard to face.
“I understand when you think aliens are going to come back…I wouldn’t want to put my kids through that. And you’ll be on the front lines-you know where that puts me.”
“I wouldn’t let you be out there.”
“It’s inevitable, I’d be out there. They need me-you need me. Sometimes one master assassin is just not enough,” You shake your head. “But I’m not immortal. Do you really think our kids could go through with one of us dying-maybe both of us? Who knows how powerful aliens really are.”
“Don’t remind me,” Tony says. Okay, you were triggering him. No, nope, not happening. No, no, NOPE!
“I’m sorry-I shouldn’t’ve-”
“It’s fine, no, it’s okay.” You knew he wasn’t okay. You saw it in the fearful brown of his eyes. Oh, his fearful brown eyes. You loved him. You always just wondered if you could protect him. You wondered if you could protect him just as much or more as he wanted to protect you. And the amount he wanted to protect you was like the amount of stars in the sky…..It was incredibly huge.
I mean like….
You were all he had at the end of it all.
You saw him, his breathing slightly iffy. “Nothing’s happening, just breathe,” You mutter to him. It was just a gentle reminder. You tried to not make a huge deal out of it since you didn’t need to. Within the next minute, he’s okay. He had to be okay. And plus, you knew very well when he was okay and when he was not okay. You knew it faster than you knew your name.
“Yeah, it would be nice to settle down with you, Y/N. We could have a kid or two, have a nice house somewhere away from everything-but we can’t. We just can’t.” Honestly, you felt a bit disappointed to hear Tony so negative. You exhale. “No, probably not….” You trail.
“But at least I have you.” He looks at you with emotion in the brown hues. A slight smile morphed on your face. He kisses you. You loved it when he kissed you. He always meant it.