how-to-look-like-a-twit

just thinking back on that fucking stupid A Whiter Bridge panel and how one of the commenters was literally like “how can anyone protest this panel? just look at the sign it’s a perfectly good panel” like of course the sign says it’s a good panel you simpering twit

Daily Classics - The Best Oath To Be Sworn

(On reflection, if nothing else, you’ll make the person swearing this oath look like a bit of a twit while you’re getting them to do all this).


Oracular reply to Rufinus, who asked how he might take an oath from his ship’s own captain.

When Titan raises his journey over the early at dawn,
Cleansing with his beams the curses of gloomy night,
And the radiant Earlyborn1 shines out her new light –
Only then lead him to the beach, and stand him
by the salt-washed shore looking straight into the light of the bright
sun. And let him put his right foot in the water,
holding it in the tide; let him plant his left
on the land. Lightly touching down on each side with his hands –
one in the brine, the other on dry land – have him swear an oath.
Let him invoke heaven and indescribable earth, the harbours of the sea
And the life-giving lord of heaven’s fire.
For such an oath not even the gods dare to dishonour
With their mouths, the magnificent race of Ouranos.

1. i.e. the goddess Dawn

(Anthologia Graeca 14.72; my translation)

Χρησμὸς ἐρωτήσαντι Ῥουφίνῳ, πῶς ἂν λάβοι ὅρκον παρὰ τοῦ ἰδίου ναυκλήρου·

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tw: contrarian opinion that doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of this universe

so that’s where that sense of dread I get every time I watch Toy Story 3 comes from

I dread the next obnoxious contrivance in the plot

oh look Andy stuffed his toys in a garbage bag, gee golly gee I wonder how that lapse in logic (get a fucking box you twit) is gonna bite everything in the ass

oh look he had to help Molly (or whatever her name is something to that effect) with something right as he was gonna pull the toys into the attic and the ladder goes back up, i wonder when that’s gonna play in

oh golly dang andy’s mom mistook the garbage bag as a bag full of garbage and throws it away like it’s full of garbage

oh and we’re not gonna trust Woody in that Andy was gonna take us to the attic (in a garbage bag, c’mon andy store your dang toys with dignity) despite the fact that we’ve trusted him for like 20 years, and he could see what was happening because he wasn’t in a fucking garbage bag

that stupid garbage bag thing drives me crazier when he is all “yay my toys i remember them i love them i care about them have my toys ACCEPT MY HEADCANONS FOR THESE TOYS CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE CHILD” and yet, yeah, he chucked em in a garbage bag and clearly didn’t really give a fuck

sure, it coulda been a spur-of-the-moment (ha! ha! get it it’s funny because woody is a cowboy and cowboys have spurs on their boots) thing but whatever it’s still stupid, he was looking inside a box looking at his old toys looking back at them, remembering them, then the dipshit unintentionally sets everything in motion by not putting them in a bloody box or something, you could easily get a container for them that wouldn’t set off the plot of a movie that’s kinda nice until you use your brain