much as i understand the kids’ feelings, if they ask why levi is doing this i want levi to lay down with 3509860945680945 reasons why erwin was crucial, point out everything erwin did, his plans and formations and how he goes out of his way to find and nurture promising talents (especially of people looked down upon by their society!!), how he managed to move heaven and earth to keep the corps going for years against all attempts to shut it down, how he trusted eren’s word and stuck his neck out for him when eren was in military custody, how he lost his arm for eren without hesitation or resentment, how he started the whole coup, how he got right back to work with torture bruises still fresh on his face, how his “gambles” changed the nation inside the walls, oh my god look at all the things he’s done–!!!!! his actions & decisions directed a huge, HUGE chunk of the plot
armin arlert is amazing, important and has helped a lot! and much of the corps’ achievements is built on teamwork! but erwin too is just. WOW. holy shit. what a man indeed. yeah i harp on levi’s bias bc god look at his face!!! he loves him!!! and it’s funny how he’s talking like he has no personal stakes in keeping erwin alive lol it’s just the ~right thing to do~ u kno!!!
but! discounting levi’s feelings entirely: erwin smith is a goddamn fucking phenomenon
let him live
i don’t care how just let him live
ps pls think of the real people you’re devaluing if u equate “older” with “dispensable” :(( anyway 30+ is not old he’s like still in his prime as a soldier
pps same if he “he’s depressed and wants to die so it’s ok to let him” guys what, no, why, no
the fondness for poetry started when she was young ————— roughly five or six ————— when her grandmother purchased her ‘ falling up ’ by shel silverstein. she developed an appreciation for the fluidity of words, how they felt on her tongue as she read them back to her mother on the couch as a learning exercise. ( her love for poetry as a young girl can also be attributed to the time it actually allowed her to spend time with maggie. as a newly single mother, with kevin having just recently left town, there wasn’t much time to spend with emma between working constantly to make ends meet. however, every night was reserved a half hour for emma to curl up on the couch next to her mom with her favorite book of poems ————— pages dog eared on her favorites & tattered at the edges from constant use ————— to spend some quality time with her. some of her fondest memories from her young childhood ————— & some of her healthiest ————— come from sitting on that couch right after dinner & reading with her mom. it was a constant : a steady in her world that was turned upset down when her dad skipped out. ) there was a natural knack for reading the rhythm & feeling the words. maggie encouraged it & it stuck.
reading poetry progressed naturally to dabbling in writing poetry ( outside of mandatory school assignments she wasn’t overly fond of doing to begin with ) around sixth grade ————— roughly 11-12. her first poems were admittedly terrible, written about the family dog ( a golden retriever named ‘ lucky ’ because all golden retrievers are named lucky… even if they’re not) or about how much she hated doing homework. eventually, her topics expanded : the weather, school girl crushes, best friendship. superficial on the surface, but if one were to take a closer look, there was something there that was a bit deeper ————— an underlying currant. potential of sorts. she expanded her vocabulary & experimented with different styles & read quite a far bit. ( seriously ————— emma didn’t go anywhere without a book. waiting for food at a restaurant ? book. having to visit her mom at work after school ? book. going over to audrey’s house for a sleepover ? book… & she still found time to read it. )
her most emotional work ( prior to the murders ) came with puberty ————— around 13. her writing took on a slightly darker tone in reference to her struggles with her own sexuality( & trust me, emma fought against / struggled with / denied her sexuality for literal years before ever accepting that she liked girls as well as guys, maybe even moreso ) as well as finally confronting the emotional loss of her father & dealing with the resentment she harbored for him after he left. her poetry was essentially a diary : things she could never say aloud, but things she needed to say nonetheless. the majority of her poems were concealed in notebooks she hid in drawers or one she kept on her person at all times. poetry written on scrap paper was either taped into said notebooks or discarded immediately. she never left her name on anything as she didn’t want her name attached to it if she were to lose it. she hit long patch of writer’s block the year she stopped talking to audrey, solely because she had no desire to write. ( she lost her best friend since childhood over her own superficial / selfish desires ————— she wasn’t really in the headspace to write much of anything. ) her writing eventually picked up again at 15, after fully integrating herself into nina’s friend group & beginning a relationship with will. her writing regarding will was almost taylor swift-esque. bland / cliche / stereotypical. she didn’t mind.
her affinity for sylvia plath & her dark turn in poetry began after the murders. her favorite work of sylvia plath : ‘ mad girl’s love song ’ ————— a poem plath wrote as a student that was never formally included in any of her published poetry collections. (i shut my eyes and all the world drops dead ; i lift my lids and all is born again. i think i made you up inside my head. ) plath’s work inspired a lot of emma’s writing ( style & theme ) after the murders as a coping mechanism that she’s never revealed to her friends. she considers it an outlet now more than ever & takes extra care to conceal it from her friends / her mom given the content, as she doesn’t censor herself within her work. ( i suppose what i mean by this is : emma’s graphically writing about murder / the struggle to survive / survivor’s guilt / her mental illness. though she would never act on any of the topics in her writing, it’d be a big eye opener to see the girl who’s fairly bright / quiet / reserved write about such topics. she doesn’t want to lose her outlet, which is something she fears might happen if someone were to come across her work. she also doesn’t want to worry her friends when they have bigger fish to fry. ) her recent work, though morbid & often times, highly emotional, is something she considers beautiful. it’s important to her in the way stavo’s art is to him, in the way noah’s podcast is to him. it’s simply her method of coping with her lived trauma & her outlet for pent up emotions ————— treatment encouraged her poetry, as it’s a healthy means of expressing herself. & thus, poet!emma was born !
We just came back from a weekend in the countryside. I feel like crying, it was so wonderful! This photo was taken just a few steps behind the house. Views like this all around, the nearest house a kilometer or two away, so much freedom. <3 I wish I could live there… the house was very old and honestly I;m used to higher standards (not having to bring wood every time I wanted a shower or to make something to eat, water in the tap that is okay to drink, not water from the well that smells and so) but the views and nature all around were better than anything I’ve ever seen. I wish I could live like that. My city is small, very small actually, but still too big for me, I think I was born to live in the coutryside. Maybe some day…
Oh my gosh so just for shits and giggles I went up the family line that Mary Towne Esty is part of, to see how far I can go back and, good heavens. We’ve got records predating the Norman invasion ya’ll. Born 1009 Sir Kenneth de Clarke was a resident of Northumbria. His son, Edwin married a Scottish woman named Lady Elithne MacAlpin from Inverness.
That’s more than a thousand years of records on my family. Like holy shit.
in high school i called myself an atheist. i even had a button in my car with the word god crossed out. my friend knew better and figured i was just pissed at being raised a mormon so she gave me another button that read how much sin can i get away with and still go to heaven?
jia one of the few that opened their arms to luna. making her feel like home and giving her support and love - even after all the pain she went through, it was thanks to, not only jia, but mostly the older girl that luna could endure a lot of things once she decided to appear again in the eyes of the public. ❝ unnie, you know what? i think i never told you how thankful i am for having you by my side ❞ - she wasn’t really the type to show her emotions at times ( such a kid ). ❝ i think i’ll never be able to tell you how much you helped to smile again, you’re my true savior. but anyways how did this get so deep hm? ❞ a chuckle escapes her mouth, now she was embarrassed. ❝ how’s everything going with heaven, still a lot of people being slightly sensitive about your concepts? i would like to try it one day ❞