how-strange-it-is-to-be-anything-at-all

I wonder if something Fitzsimmons could work on this season is the more subtle challenges of their bond.

For Jemma I think it’s being able to push Fitz/call him out emotionally. One of the things I found really strange last season was how over the top submissive Jemma was in regards to Fitz’s feelings, even going so far as to be constantly giving him an out of saving a man’s life.

 She doesn’t push him, like ever. Even in season 2 she never once defended herself. She never once stopped him and said “hey here’s how it is, here is what happened, please hear my side.” She let’s him step all over her if he wants too but, thankfully, Fitz doesn’t want to do that. It’s almost as if she’s afraid to ask anything of him, or to challenge him. Sure she’ll call him out on lying to her about Daisy, and that’s great. But when it comes down to actually making him do something or change the way he’s seeing a situation, she still remains incredibly passive. When Fitz lied to her, she didn’t say “hey stop lying” she said to herself “well I guess he sees me differently now and there’s nothing I can do about it.” 

Fitz is, I think, a little more balanced in this aspect. He really does seem to be able to at the very least put what he’s feeling out there. “Why did you leave me?” “Do you love him?” “He’s better than me”. And he’s actually pretty OK at calling Jemma out when he thinks she’s doing something wrong. 

His biggest issue, I still think and I have seen a lot of people talk about, is how he puts himself before Jemma. He doesn’t seem to understand the effect it has on her when he does it. It’s almost as if he’s unable to put himself in her shoes and see just how much these stunts scare her. I wonder if a part of this is that he doesn’t seem himself as being as worthy or important as she is or (this might be going out on a limb) he doesn’t understand that she loves him as much as he loves her. Not consciously of course and not with any sense of superiority about his love vs. hers, it really seems to be all about self worth. Like if they were a chess game he sees her as the king and himself as a pawn. Which is good for chess, but I’m guessing not so good for a relationship. 

Bonus points if they go into how these things fit into their overall personalities. How Fitz generally struggles with self confidence and how Jemma generally shrinks her own feelings and needs in favor of others. She’s stuck on seeing the big picture, and doesn’t look in, and he’s stuck in and can’t see the big picture. 

I think it’d be super interesting to have them play with these aspects of their character in the context of their relationship in order to strengthen their bond and just in general for their individual growth. 

Concept: an otome dating sim where the player character is a bizarre Lovecraftian monstrosity - except none of the boys notice, and they all treat you like you’re a perfectly ordinary teenage girl.

All of your dialogue options are incomprehensible hissing and gurgling, or cryptic gestures with unearthly appendages; you’re never 100% certain what - if anything - you’re communicating, though the boys seem to understand you.

Rather than “Athletics” or “Charm”, your stats have strange names like “Viscosity”, “Amplitude” and “Bulk”. Figuring out what they actually do is as much as part of the challenge as figuring out how to raise them.

At the end of the game, you devour whichever boy you have the strongest bond with whole; this act of consumption determines the final form you evolve into, as well as the nature of the resulting global apocalypse.

April 3, 2008: Visible World, Richard Siken

Visible World
Richard Siken

    Sunlight pouring across your skin, your shadow
                                                            flat on the wall.
        The dawn was breaking the bones of your heart like twigs.

You had not expected this,
               the bedroom gone white, the astronomical light
                                               pummeling you in a stream of fists.
    You raised your hand to your face as if

               to hide it, the pink fingers gone gold as the light
streamed straight to the bone,
    as if you were the small room closed in glass
                                         with every speck of dust illuminated.

    The light is no mystery,
the mystery is that there is something to keep the light
                                                           from passing through.

==


[Richard Siken won the Yale Series of Younger Poets award in 2004 for his fantastic book Crush, which I highly recommend.  It’s a book that tends to the cinematic, desperate and obsessive and powerful, but there are these tiny moments of grace, of calm, like this poem, or Meanwhile.  I like the simplicity of this, how he takes the most basic concept (“how strange it is to be anything at all,” to quote Neutral Milk Hotel) and makes it so tangible. Plus that third line just kills me.]

More like this:
Scheherezade, Richard Siken
Snow and Dirty Rain, Richard Siken
Litany in Which Certain Things are Crossed Out, Richard Siken

A year ago today:Anywhere Else, Maggie Dietz
Two years ago: After Work, Richard Jones
Three years ago: The Sheep-Child, James Dickey

Warsan Shire Quotes for the Signs
  • Aries:"You tried to change, didn’t you?
  • Closed your mouth more,
  • tried to be softer, prettier,
  • less volatile, less awake."
  • Taurus:"You can’t make homes out of human beings
  • someone should have already told you that."
  • Gemini:"You are terrifying
  • and strange and beautiful
  • something not everyone knows how to love."
  • Cancer:"To love and lose and still be kind."
  • Leo:"Come with all your shame, come with your swollen heart, I’ve never seen anything more beautiful than you."
  • Virgo:"I need someone who knows how to stay."
  • Libra:"Two people who were once very close can without blame or grand betrayal become strangers. Perhaps this is the saddest thing in the world."
  • Scorpio:"You think I’ll be the dark sky so you can be the star? I’ll swallow you whole."
  • Sagittarius:"You are a horse running alone
  • and he tries to tame you."
  • Capricorn:"I am a lover without a lover. I am lovely and lonely and I belong deeply to myself."
  • Aquarius:"I’m sorry you were not truly loved and that it made you cruel."
  • Pisces:"But sometimes your light attracts moths and your warmth attracts parasites. Protect your space and energy."