And so much of it was truly lovely. The reader mentioned how they’d been looking for a fic with such a premise for a while, how they were so relieved to find it, and thrilled at its contents. They listed out what they liked about it, which was–is–always amazing. They closed with another pile of enthusiastic praise.
In between, they had a section titled, “What I don’t like about it.” There were three things, and they don’t really matter in the long run, as they were all deliberate choices I made while writing. Except… it rattled me.
I’ve tended to stay away from writing about concrit. I reblog those posts that I agree with–particularly the ones that encourage commenting and discourage unasked-for criticism. But at the risk of being marked as a defensive, over-sensitive writer (I still worry about how people view me. I’m working on it.), I haven’t actually weighed in. So it’s to my surprise more than anyone’s that I’m about to say this.
Guys… Please take this in: It is not okay to make a list of things you don’t like about a story. It takes time and effort from every writer to create something, and no small amount of courage to post it for your free consumption. It is not an easy thing to put ourselves out there, time and again, and display pieces of our minds/hearts.
As crit went, it was probably done in the nicest way possible, but I was still left thinking, “Am I supposed to go back and change this fic? Is it actually kind of bad that I did it that way? Is this commenter just being nice by bracketing the other stuff in compliments because they don’t want to feel mean??” It sent me in to an odd tailspin, questioning myself and my writing skills and choices, which undergo–I assure you–enough insecure, internal examination.
Maybe it’s just me. I don’t think so, but maybe. But I’m going to go out on a limb here and amend, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all,” to, “Even if you’re going to say something nice, if you have something critical to say–don’t say anything at all. At least not without divining, somehow, that the writer wants to hear it.” It can fuck with our heads.
prompt: jelous phil about the anthony and dans video please i need it
Hope this satisfied your need! It turned out a bit longer than I was anticipating but thanks so much for the prompt!
Phil had never thought of himself as a violent person let alone anyone else, including his fans or other youtubers. Phil didn’t think Dan had even technically seen him all that angry. It rarely happened. And when it did it was usually for righteous, just reasons. Such as an abused animal or mistreated person.
That’s why as Phil sat at his desk watching the video Anthony had recently released in which Dan played a big part in, he desperately tried to push away these unfair feelings of jealousy, anger, and quite honestly…burning hatred. It was only natural right? Dan was his friend, his flatmate, his video partner. Dan rarely made videos with other people because he just didn’t care. He wasn’t a people person. So up until now, Phil had never really had to face exactly how possessive and jealous he really got.
He tried to reason with himself. Why was he jealous? It was one video. It didn’t mean Dan was going to move out and never seen him again! But…Phil thought as he replayed the video for a third time, Dan had done a really good job in this video. He was really into it. He’d put everything he’d had into this video with Anthony. That’s what was doing it, Phil realized. Dan and Phil had gotten so used to filming with each other that everything came naturally to them. The banter, the comedy, things their fans would enjoy. They knew all of that and so filming together was just easy. Dan didn’t try that hard in the videos he made with Phil. Had their relationship really become so easy that Dan didn’t even try to impress him anymore? It wasn’t that long ago it seemed that Dan did absolutely everything to get Phil’s attention. Why had things changed? Was Phil doing something wrong?
Phil leaned back in his desk chair, pausing the video and frowning at Anthony’s frozen face on the screen. He sighed, his anger replaced with a sudden twinge of sadness and fear. It wasn’t as if he could confront Dan about this. It would sound ridiculous and petty. And perhaps Dan would think Phil was jealous for other reasons…
If someone asked, which many often did, he would describe him and Dan’s relation as a close friendship. There was no doubt in that. But the years they’d spent together side by side had brought them in a sense, closer than friends. Their had been those few drunk nights where the two had messed around a little. But they’d always woken up and ignored it. In fact, Phil wondered if Dan even remembered any of those nights.
So then, his jealousy was stemming from even more than he’d thought. Unspoken feelings it seemed.
Dan jumped as his door creaked open. He clicked open a tab before spinning around, his heart pounding.
Dan furrowed his eye brows and smiled amusingly. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing.” Phil said stupidly.
Dan glanced at the screen over his shoulder and nodded. “Right. Staring at the Google home page is certainly a blast isn’t it?”
Phil opened his mouth to speak but Dan strode over to him and had the mouse in his hands before Phil could stop him. “Hey!”
“You’re a horrible liar Phil, I know you better than that. If you’re watching porn maybe I want to know if it’s any good.”
“No, it’s not-” Phil started.
“What the fuck? It’s just Anthony’s video?” Dan scoffed. “Why would you be hiding this from me?” Dan stepped back and raised a brow at his friend, clearly confused and amused.
“I told you it was nothing.” Phil insisted, trying to stop himself from stuttering and turning red.
“Aww, were you admiring Anthony’s beautiful face? It is quite nice, isn’t it.”
“You’re only saying that because people think you look like alike.” Phil rolled his eyes, trying to act normal.
“Duh.” Dan pushed playfully at Phil’s chair, spinning it around and stopping it once it turned completely. When Phil didn’t say anything Dan cocked his head. “Wait…do you really like him? Cause Phil, we to along really well. I bet I could talk to him for you or something.”
Phil’s heart flipped at the words. His skin heated and he felt the jealous boiling back up. “No!” Phil jumped up from his seat and paced to the other side of his bed.
“I don’t mind, really. He actually seems like your type. I think it would be really cute. I mean, you guys would have to keep it under wraps for a while, with the fans and everything but-”
Dan shushed instantly, his eyes widened a little with Phil’s seriousness.
“It’s you Dan, I’m…you…in the video..I just…AH!” He growled through his teeth and pulled at his hair.
“Whoa, whoa, calm down. What are you going on about?”
“Dan, when did you stop trying?” Phil couldn’t get the right words out. In fact, he knew he shouldn’t be letting any words out at all but his boiling blood was making him say these things without thinking.
“Stop trying?” Dan stepped away, taken aback by the insult. “Did I really do that bad in the video?” There was a pained look on Dan’s face and Phil immediately felt horrible. He knew how insecure Dan was about his video content, let alone what he did with other youtubers.
“No, God, no that’s not what I meant. The video was amazing. But that’s just it Dan…you tried so hard to impress Anthony and I just…” His voice lowered and he avoided his friends eyes, “When did you stop trying to impress me?”
It was quiet for a long time. Long enough for Phil to swallow and risk a glance up. Catching site of Dan’s shocked expression though made him look away again quickly.
“Phil…Oh my God. When did you start thinking that I’m not trying to impress you?”
Phil looked up at that, furrowing his brows. “What?”
Dan let out a sharp laugh and stepped towards his friend, sitting on the edge of the bed and looking up at him. “Every time I make a video I’m trying to impress you. That’s why I ask for you to watch it first. That’s why I always ask for your help if I can’t figure something out in the program.”
Phil shook his head, the words not quite computing. “But that’s just because you want to make sure your fans will like it and so that other youtubers are impressed. And I went to college for some of that stuff, that’s why you ask for me help.”
“Sit down.” Dan demanded, sounding angry but it was only because he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Phil sat gingerly at the bed beside him, looking at him hesitantly. Dan looked directly into his eyes. This was obviously extremely important to Phil, and Phil had actually no clue as to all Dan did to make him proud. “I ask for your help because I want your approval. I want you to be proud of me. I may not cower anymore when I look at ‘AmazingPhil’ but that’s not because I’m not trying to impress you. It’s because I know you wouldn’t want me to worship you like I used to. How weird would that be if I still gawked every time you spoke?” Dan laughed.
Phil gave a small smile, looking away. “Well…fanboy fetus Dan was pretty cute though.” Dan punched him in the arm. “Ow!”
“Do you understand that though? Sure, in Anthony’s video I put more into it maybe that I do say, our gaming videos but you know how I am when it comes to how people view me. I’m terrified that he won’t let me make another video with him if I mess up to many times, or that it’ll be awkward next time I see him at a youtube event.”
“Anthony’s not like that.” Phil assured.
“Maybe not but he’s still not you.”
“Yeah. I could mess up a thousand times in a video for your channel and you wouldn’t care. We would still have a blast, you would still invite me into another video, you’d still treat me like a good person and drink Ribena with me in the corner at a social event. You like me for me and I never have to worry about that.”
Everything inside Phil melted at the comforting words. He could see the genuineness of them in Dan’s eyes and in the relaxed way he held himself. “Okay, I believe you.”
“You better you son of a bitch.” Dan snorted. “How many times have you watched that video?” He gestured toward the screen. “Were you really that jealous of how I acted in Anthony’s video?”
“Well…yeah.” Phil said defeated, his shoulders sagging. “I know it was stupid. I tried to talk myself out of it but I just kept thinking about how you used to be in our early videos.”
“Do you mean how we used to sometimes do this?”
Phil looked up just in time for his eyes to widen as Dan closed the space between them, grabbing the sides of face and connecting their lips together in a deep, hurried kiss. Dan pulled away quickly enough. A warmth started from his toes and burned to the tips of his ears. Dan was grinning mischievously at him.
“W-what was…” Phil swallowed anxiously.
“I think it’s been too long since we did stuff like that.”
Is it cool to ask you about you're hair? I'm nb and I have somewhat longer hair, but I want to cut it off. But at the same time??? I mean I've always had it and I'm not sure how I would look without it- in some ways it's like a security blanket. At the same time I really want to do it. I guess what I'm asking is how did you feel when you cut it to the point it's currently at? Did you have any doubts or were you ready?
I had hair so long that I could sit on it for the first 16 years of my life so I understand. My hair was a security blanket as well and a big part of how people viewed me. I wanted to cut my hair for so long but finally at 16 I decided to cut it all off and it was honestly one of the best decision I ever made. I’m someone who is rather self conscious even to this day, but cutting my hair helped with my confidence a whole lot. Just remember hair grows, if you don’t like it after you cut it (if you do) grow it out. Hair is such a cool thing. You can do so many things with it and hell you can even wear wigs. Do whatever you want and just know it’s not permanent.
Gong Minzy Explains What 2NE1 Means To Her + Why She Agreed To Join “Sister’s Slam Dunk”
Like the saying goes, it’s important to never forget your roots.
The second season of “Sister’s Slam Dunk” kicked off with its first episode on February 10. Old and new members of the cast will be joining forces for another girl group project during the next few months.
During the broadcast, each of the cast members met with producer Kim Hyung Suk, who will be heading the project this time around. When it was Gong Minzy’s turn, he revealed that he personally was a huge fan of 2NE1. He asked the idol why she agreed to a girl group project, when she wanted to pursue a solo career.
“I definitely thought about how people might view me for ‘joining’ a new girl group after I left one to go solo, but I viewed [this opportunity] more as a chance to meet good people in my life. I thought that it would be fun to make memories with these people,” Gong Minzy explained.
As for 2NE1, the singer expressed her genuine hopes that the other three members would find immense success. Reminiscing about her time with the group, she said, “[2NE1] received so much love and support from the public. It makes up my roots,”
Gong Minzy also revealed during the show that her original dream was to become a renown choreographer, and how she currently teaches at a dance academy.
1.Dallas Winston was my first ‘lover’, and he was the worst decision of my life… I got pregnant and miscarried at 4 weeks. 2. I have anxiety and have so since I was 12. 3. I am not as much of a heartless bitch as I make myself out to be, the truth is… I care way more than what I am supposed to. 4. Sodapop is the only person I have ever really loved in some form… he has stuck with me through thick and thin. 5. I wish he was as in love with me as I am with him… I wish he looked at me the same way he had once looked at Sandy. 6. Almost everyone in my life has left me, and I am waiting for Sodapop to do the same. 7. Although I hate to admit it, I always go back to Dally- no matter how much it pisses Sodapop off. I can’t seem to stay away from him. I feel like I am bound to him. 8. I am stronger than I think I am, yet weaker than how people view me. 9. The nights I sleep at Sodapop’s house, I sleep with him, because I cannot bear to sleep alone. 10. I am broken beyond repair.
Blaine DeBeers and trying to change during his amnesia stint
“It’s not like I’m ladling out soup or
saving puppies, but I’m actively trying not to be a sleezebag. Cause
I was a sleezebag. I’m not dealing anymore. Much to the chagrin of
my former employer. And I’ve cut all the poisonous people out of my
life. Who were apparently the only kind of people in my life. So
it’s just me now.”Blaine DeBeers – iZombie 1x02
“That’s what gave me the idea… that I could change my life. Change who I was. Change how people viewed me.”Blaine DeBeers – iZombie 3x06
I see so many Muslims every where esp on tumblr posting about how homosexuality is great and Allah loves u no matter what. I'm fully aware that it's haram but sometimes some things that people say make me begin to doubt. A Muslim thinks another Muslim who is against homo is trash. Legit everyone supports it now. How do u react to these Muslims saying it is OK?
You can never make halal what Allah has made haram. You can’t, and just because the people around you make the haram okay, doesn’t mean it is.
A sin is a sin, and yes we all sin and we all are tested in different ways but just because we sin ourselves doesn’t me we encourage those around us to sin. I believe it’s haram, and I’m not going to tell you it’s halal but I’m not going to treat anyone any differently.
I personally don’t care how people view me and my opinions. You get called homophobic for believing it’s haram but it is what it is.
I’ve been prompted by @crackmonkeytrash and @acciotomriddle to note several things and tumblr users that make me happy. (I wasn’t sure how to add in a second inbox convo thing, so sorry about that.) I can’t really think of things that make me happy, but what helps me avoid the cesspit of despair and anxiety in my mind is reading fanfiction (which by now has almost replaced all of the books I’ve used to read) and the internet. And by the internet, I mean my internet friends and my favorite YouTube vloggers (who I can pretend knows me and wishes me well)! That probably sounds shallow to some people, but it’s what keeps me going! So here’s to the main people in my life (on tumblr) who probably don’t even know it and will probably be a bit creeped out afterwards!
@bigjellymonster , you’re the big sister I wish I had. You post funny things and your writing is amazing! If there was anyone that asked who my idol was, I’d say it’d be you! Which probably sounds strange and a bit weird, and now I’m thinking that I should just do this on anon, but still the fact remains. I don’t usually care about how other people view me, but man whenever I mess up or am on the edge of doing things that I would probably regret later, I’d think, “what would BigJellyMonster think if I do that?” So i imagine you to be my morality, or conscious, lols.
@thefandomrunner , I’m unsure on how we met or how you’ve remained a constant in my life, but even if we only talk on a blue moon, seeing you on my dash makes me feel better after a long day. We don’t talk to each other much, but you’re definitely my #1 mutual because at times, you’re the only person liking and reblogging my stuff in an entire day! It makes me feel confident about myself and makes me feel assured that I’m not just shouting into the void.
@helly-watermelonsmellinfellon, if @bigjellymonster is my big sis, you’d be my mom. You’re what I consider to be one of the “Big Leagues” in that you always seem to be the best at whatever you want to do. I’m not sure if we ever talked before, as I’m quite certain that you have hundreds, if not thousands, of followers much more interactive and interesting than me, but I’m just amazed at how passionate and independent you are. You are able to defend and go on the offensive in equal measure, and there are times that I’m frankly intimidated by the amount of passion you put into things that you consider worth discussing discourse about. But you are definitely the bravest person I know (as well as the most vicious)!
@exotisque, yeah, we don’t talk much (I suppose that you all see a pattern forming?) but you’re someone who’d I honestly consider an internet friend. When I’m in a slump, I usually go back to our month long conversation and reminisce about it. I’m honestly surprised that I was able to retain your interest that long as I’m a horrible conversationalist both IRL and online. But yeah, whenever I’m feeling the morbs because of anon hate (or just hate in general), I like to recall our conversations together and the way you seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say.
And of course, all of my wonderful followers! I don’t really know how I’ve convinced you to follow me, but I’m glad you enjoy what I enjoy on this hellsite.
(Some of you might know me better by my fandom blog names, @littwink or @newtsaveslives, in case you were wondering ‘who the hell is this?!’.)
So by now, I’m a bit teary eyed and have spent hours i should have probably spent studying for a class I haven’t taken (goddamn three months ago me for enrolling me in AP tests!) typing this out instead, but I was in a lonely mood and just want to let all of you know that you’ve impacted my life, for better or worse. So ta-ta, and I hope you don’t think less of me now!
i say im nonbinary and i don’t care about how other people view me but i constantly think that im not masculine enough to balance out my femininity, to the point where i think i should have a masc name just to balance it out
Is your whole family okay with your gender, or did you have some that were like "no you're this and this is the only way I'm gonna refer to you and your gender as"? (I know it's worded weird, couldn't figure out how to word it better)
(( OOC: My family is okay with how I choose to behave and dress… but my situation has been a little different, since I choose not to label things. I don’t really think about “gender” as being a solid concept. From a social standpoint, gender is simply a way to separate people into categories. It limits the human experience by telling you how to dress, how to act, what to feel, what you can achieve, etc.
I’m content with going by the label I was given at birth… because it’s just that, a label. I don’t have to abide by it, and if it’s simpler for others to view me in a certain way, go for it.
I just wear the clothes I want to wear, act the way I want to act, and if that happens to be something that is more commonly seen with one gender or another… whatevs. If someone wants to label me based on a checklist of traits, feel free… because regardless of the labels, regardless of how other people view me, I know who I am, I know what I like, and I’ll act on it, because I prefer not to feed into society’s labels or cater to a stereotype. ))
HAHA YOU CANT STOP ME FROM ROASTING YOU GUYS AND I HAD SEEN SOME FACE REVEALS OF SOME OF YOU GUYS AND YOU GUYS ARE UGLY ASS HELL NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU I HAD SEEN YOURES AND HAYDEES YOU GUYS SO UGLY I THINK EVERYONE THINKS THAT YOU GUYS ARE UGLY
I don’t really care if I’m ugly or not. I accept that I’m an ugly person. I can’t even look at the mirror because of my ugliness. And I’m used to it. I don’t really care how people view me. Yolo I live my life however I want and you can’t ruin it for me. And jokes on you I have a boyfriend so eat shit and go cry yourself in a corner.
(Fuck you @haydee-draws is beautiful and hell she does have someone who loves her fyi)
Also, wtf are you doing stalking me and Haydee????? Get a life dude. Do something more productive than this smh
Around the age of 11 I developed the mindset “I am not like other girls” everyone always associated drama with girls and I didn’t want to be that over dramatic person. I never wanted to be seen like just another girl so out went dresses and skirts and in came the pants and borrowing from my brothers closets. I was so determined to be different.
Around the age of 13 I would cry a lot over the fact that I was not girly enough for my mother, I refused to listen to anything pop or the top 40 because I didn’t want to seem like a ‘typical airhead’, I wouldn’t wear skirts or dresses because of the impressions it may leave, I was constantly torn up over disappointing my mother but being like other girls had become more than just a thought. I convinced myself I hated the colour pink and that pants were the only thing I found comfy and any song with a catchy beat or that more than half the population of my school could sing along to was terrible.
Around the age of 14 I discovered many girls had the mindset to not be like other girls. The dramatic girls I complained about enjoyed having guy friends because girls were just too dramatic. So many people I didn’t want to be like, also never wanted to be like the other girls. Who was this girl we had all built to imagine that we were changing ourselves to not be? Was it ourselves? Were we trying to avoid aspects of our feminity while embracing others that seemed exotic? Was it characters played out in tv and movies that we had decided was the epitome of a female we didn’t want to be? No matter who it was I still had a determination to be special, to not be like other girls
At the age of 15 I learnt that it wasn’t a disgrace to be a girl, that being like other girls wasn’t something to cower away from, that calling myself a feminist while internally bashing and trying not to appear as the the rest of my gender was completely fucked up. How can I defend women when I never wanted to seem like just other one? I got back into dresses and skirts and heels and makeup because I felt fucking cute and no one could take that away from me. If people wanted to judge my personality based on how I dress, then so what. I started listening to pop music and the top 40 because I enjoyed jamming to it I listened to bands of cute boys and I fangirled over musicians. Yes I would scream and wait hours at concerts to meet these people I loved and so fucking what if I was being typical?
It was at this time I realised society has ruined me, for so many years they had me only expressing one part of myself. Yes I enjoy wearing ‘boys’ clothes and listening to punk music but I also enjoy wearing skirts and dancing around my room screaming my lungs out to pop music. Society made me scared, society had me convinced I hated music like 1d I was more accepted that way. I hated admitting I am a 5sos fan because of how people might view me but yes I am a teenage girl who is in love with 5sos but so fucking what? Now being called a typical girl it doesn’t hurt me. Being a girl is fucking cool and yes some girls are dramatic. Some girls are annoying. Some girls aren’t all too bright. But that doesn’t matter, no one is asking you to be those girls, just let those girls be, yes you may not wanna be them or spend time with them but let them exist without bashing how they look or act and trying to be everything their not. So watch me in my high ass heels and mini skirt destroy this god damn societal ladder of judgement because I may be typical and it only makes me more of a boss ass bitch.
Sorry if you've already been asked about this/don't like the subject, but what do you think of the new M. Night Shyamalan movie "Split"? I personally don't like it even just from the trailer but I was curious abt your opinion.
Like so many people are like “so what, no one believes people with DID are actually like that lol” but like….. YES. THEY DO???? maybe not outright but these sorts of portrayals plant a seed in their minds and thats all it takes
my mom saw sybil years ago and she was terrified of me when she found out about the DID. movies DO affect how people view us! it prevented me from getting real help for several months bc my parents only know about the versions of it from TV and movies (and mom is a huge Criminal Minds fan, guess how well it went over when she found out i had religiously coded alters)
and more than that, doctors don’t really know their shit about DID unless they specialized in dissociative and traumagenic disorders. ive had doctors. like real. good. qualified doctors. who just knew the media perception of DID bc they didnt specialize in it’s diagnosis or treatment. this is super bad!!! do you know how hard it is to get a doctor to believe you have DID in the first place, let alone with them thinking you’re like the people in movies?????
it’s offensive and just…terrible writing tbh. if you have to rely on DID for a shock factor or for drama??? you’re a shit writer??? like god u could have pulled this movie off with ONE SINGLET KILLER and it would have been way better. hell id rather watch a movie about a singlet faking DID to get away with a crime. like it’s just shitty lazy unoriginal writing.
also it says the guy has like 20 alters or something and that that’s more than they’ve ever seen but that’s bullshit ive met REAL DID SYSTEMS WITH 200+ ALTERS. they’re called polyfragmented systems and they’re the result of horrible horrible trauma!
this pathetic excuse for a horror is just making money off of ignorant, lazy writing that’s harmful to the reputation of real life trauma survivors. there’s next to no factual information in this movie and it’s about to shape my reputation for the next twenty years :)))))
Note: this is a submission from another user which I am publishing anonymously under request.
On the pizza post, and cultural appropriation
People have been attacking this blog saying you have no idea what cultural appropriation is. I say it’s a matter of having said the wrong words to explain a rather simple concept. Now, to start with, since what sparked the argument was the pizza post, let’s just come out and say what seems to have ruffled the most feathers: there is nothing wrong in the existence of American Pizza. The fact that it’s a popular dish in America, the fact that italian-americans are serving it, or even americans who have learnt to love it, or chain restaurants … that’s all fine! It’s fine if you prefer your american pizza, too. Sharing food is not appropriation, and evolution is a natural thing — it only stands to reason, then, that pizza and other recipes will also evolve with time when brought to another place, much like language. That’s fine. Anyone who argues against that is frankly a prick.
What is not fine, however, is saying such things as “fun fact, italians actually invented a single topping, everything else was invented in the US”. I’ve seen americans claim that american INVENTED pizza many times before, and THAT is appropriation. It’s not unlike some guy going to say, vietnam, and then coming back to the good U.S and deciding he’s opening a vietnamese restaurant — only the dishes are “improved” with a good american touch, and upon interview, the owner claims he “understands the spirit of their cuisine better than them”. It’s not the fact pizza exists in american that is insulting, it’s people who claim with conviction that this dish belongs to them, and it’s certainly not about who’s more oppressed than other people — no one is arguing italians are oh so oppressed, but appropriation is appropriation.
For a bit of a history lesson, aside from the fact there are countless toppings in italy (it would be impossible to have a single pizza type for centuries), margherita is an EXTREMELY RECENT recipe. It was made in honor of the Queen of Savoia (see? Pizza is tied to our culture and history), and that’s why it carries her name — because among the pizza dishes presented to her, that was her favourite. But mentions of pizza date back to ancient rome days (though certainly it wasn’t anything near what it is today). Just a quick google search can actually give you a bit of insight in the history of pizza.
That said, who do you think brought pizza over to the U.S? It was italian immigrants. Pizza first showed up in american cities with a dense italian population, and it was sold in the streets of italian districts. So no, Pizza was most certainly not invented by the U.S, and that settles it.
On “italians only get mad about food”
We do not. Yes, of course we’re passionate about food, it’s an important part of our culture as stated countless time. It’s a brand we bring overseas. It’s something we pride ourselves in. Don’t forget that a culture’s food is part of its identity, and it’s very strongly tied in with their history. To dismiss our concerns about food saying we’re making a big deal out of “just food” is dismissing our very identity, and that’s it, there’s no going around it. No one wants to admit to be doing a disrespectful thing, but if someone is telling you “hey, this is actually insulting me because food is part of our culture” the decent thing to do is acknowledging it and apologize. You don’t know about italy’s culture: italian people do. That’s basic and natural.
That said, we get mad about italy’s misrepresentation overseas and the glorifying of mafia too, and a lot. But our voices are drowned out because “it’s no big deal”. Now, I’ll say right here that I don’t care much about misrepresentation, because I’m in a position in which I can just not give a shit about how people overseas view me (I live in Italy, after all). But for people living overseas it’s much different. It’s not a issue I can speak about though, so someone else’s experience might be something better to hear!
The glorification of mafia, though? OH BOY. I happen to be very involved with various fandoms, and anyone who’s involved in any fandom can be sure to one day end up seeing the much dreaded mafia aus. Fans tend to view them as just innocent fun who doesn’t hurt anyone, and that’s because of ignorance. Now let me get this straight: I don’t blame or fault anyone for not being privvy to Italy’s problems. If someone tells me “I didn’t know mafia was actually still a thing in italy”, I believe them. And I think that misconception is at the heart of why many people do not understand how dangerous that kind of fanwork is. But! Mafia is very alive and kicking in Italy, and it’s not cool gangsters fighting each other and not involving anyone else. It’s criminals killing innocents, children, indiscriminately. It’s people living in fear because they have to pay the pizzo or the local family will set their home or store on fire, or kill them. It’s people having TO stay silent, because if they talk, they’re gonna die. It’s people being trapped in a vicious cycle and unable to escape. For many people, even many people who are currently on tumblr it’s a reality they live every day. When I see AUs going about “cosa nostra” and talking about “good” mafia families, I fucking cringe.
You like gangsters and cool hats? Make a vague gangster AU with no actual connection to mafia and for the love of god don’t use an italian setting or italian words or ever mention cosa nostra or the pizzo or anything for which people actually die daily. That’s basic decency. And yet asking people on tumblr to stop is a roulette: some people are fantastic and understanding and apologize, because they just didn’t know. Some people deny it’s a problem at all and insult you for “being so sensitive”.
Let that sink in. If you speak up about how that’s not kosher, people insult you for being too sensitive. Sounds familiar? Yep, it’s a normal silencing technique.
On “you’re not oppressed”
It’s true, we’re not, no one is questioning it (and no one has any interest in oppression olymics, anyway). Though need I remind you that Italians have faced heavy racism throughout many countries? Let’s not forget that we were not considered white until very recently, and the stereotype of lazy trouble-makers are alive and kicking right now. Not even a few years ago I’ve had an american friend very casually joking to me about “those lazy good-for nothing italians”, who did not see how offensive it was until I confronted her about it. Brushing this aside as no big deal and “get over it” is rude, and disrespectful, and it’s most certainly not on the same level of a white american who is 3% irish, 6% italian, 10% dutch-whatever-else-mix claiming they are oppressed for their origin, so let’s not confuse the two — we are an actual culture, and it’s natural of us to want to clarify misinformation and hurtful things when we stumble upon them. Don’t assume because we’re “white” then we’re TOTALLY LIKE WHITE AMERICANS!! You know who’s also white? Polish, Romanians, Russians. You know who’s discriminated against as hell in here? Polish, Romanians, Russians! “Whiteness” isn’t about skin color, it’s about what culture is in charge and commonly accepted at the moment. Don’t apply america-centrism version of racism everywhere in the world, that’s short-sighted and guess what … racist … Saying we should just shut up because we’re white is silencing us, and really fucking rude when people are actually doing shit that’s quite honestly wrong.
Going back on food again, I wanted to add a very small note about why this attitude is hurting our economy: it’s not the fact that people make italian food overseas (that’s ridiculous), it’s the fact that products made in the U.S are being passed of as of italian origins and sold at ridiculous prices while claiming to be imported — and meanwhile, our actual imported products aren’t being bought as a reason. That’s why. That’s the reason such dismissal is hurtful for us. It’s not because there are italian restaurants here and there.
Concept: one day I’ll have short hair and I’ll go to a city where nobody knows me and I’ll wear my binder and my boys clothes and my first impression on total strangers will be that I’m a boy. And I’ll be the cutest boy ever. And perhaps even one day I’ll wear my binder and I’ll change how people I know will view me forever. One day, I’ll just have to gather up my courage and- and wait.