how-i-feel-on-the-inside

anonymous asked:

So much focus is on Sam these days and Sam & Cait together (don't worry, I ship them like crazy). I feel like we need to give Cait some individual love too. Any suggestions of how to let her know how awesome we think she is?

Just appreciate her for the beautiful person she is inside and out. What man wouldn’t love this woman?

anonymous asked:

Is it normal for INTJ to like, spend time imagining a romantic relationship? I'm really bad at love and I often find myself fantasizing about finding the perfect lover for me, that most likely isn't going to come. (I'm a female, 19)

Yes. Since we tend to have high standards and are very independent, finding love can be difficult for us. I think this can definitely lead to some fantasizing about how it would be to be in a relationship; not to mention the fact that we already live a major part of our lives inside our head anyway. Imagining and playing out scenarios in your head is rather typical for an INTJ, so I don’t think it at all strange that you’re doing it.

If anyone wants to share their own thoughts and/or experiences regarding this subject, feel free to do so by replying to this post or sending me an ask. Your replies will be gathered here.

- Rain

anonymous asked:

How do you think Karkat would react to hearing the all details about Bro, and why Dave didn't want to tell him everything?

i think Karkat is way stronger than people give him credit for? i’ve gone into this several times before but it being revealed that his denizen was Abraxas (the opposite of Yaldabaoth) says a lot about him. players that are extremely strong on the outside but weaker/emptier on the inside (like Caliborn and Dirk) get Yaldobroth, but the opposite is true for the ones that get Abraxas. so yeah i feel like at his very core Karkat is actually a rather unshakable guy. it kind of makes sense since he was able to stay sane during hivebent after dealing with all of his crazy teamates. and i mean it sure takes BALLS to try and pacify an insane fucking clown that just got done murdering a bunch of your friends.
like the rants and flipping out over stupid shit is more of an outwardly thing, but when it comes to helping others and being under pressure in serious situations he can actually perform well. so i take issue with people saying stuff like “Dave doesn’t want to tell Karkat about bro because he’s a sensitive lil baby awh!! uwu” like uhmmm Dave did say that he would tell him most of it anyway, and while im sure Karkat would get very upset, it could also be that Dave was also worried about his own emotional reaction to getting all caught up too deep on that subject and worrying Karkat even more.

and i mean even if that was true Dave has gotten this exact thing DEAAAAD WRONG about Karkat in the past????????

husband!luke always getting all warm inside when you sent him snapchats of you and his little cousin while you were babysitting her with captions like “we miss you Lukey!” or “can’t wait for you to come home!” and he’d send some back too with goofy faces and silly captions while thinking of how he could get this fuzzy and warm feeling like that all the time when you’d send cute pics of you and your guys’ little girl in the future. just the thought of having a little family with you made him smile like the goon that he is

oh ok so i listened to heathers (the musical) a bit more and some brief thoughts

  • there are so many style shifts in that goddamn score. o’keefe you are a crazy man. 
  • lowkey obsessed with how the melody of “Blue” sounds just like your standard 50s jukebox song, plus a dash of Marvin Gaye and some filthy lyrics. I love that shit.
  • love “Shine a Light.” love it. 
  • LOVE “The Me Inside of Me.” It’s grown on me so much. 
  • “Kindergarten Boyfriend” is a lovely, lovely song and could totally have a strong life out of context.
  • I kind of love the lyric “We can start and finish wars./ We’re what killed the dinosaurs.”
  • Both the movie and the musical seems really successful in different ways. I feel like the movie is inherently funnier? 
  • oh also, this is like, right smack down the middle between Bat Boy and Legally Blonde, so as long as O’Keefe knows what he’s good at and keeps at it, by all means, keep going. 
  • also give me more power chords and overly bombastic orchestrations and constant style shifts, i love every single one of them. 
  • oh and also bury me with “Candy Store” playing in the background.

end verdict: it’s a terribly infectious score that doesn’t lose any of the searing wit of the movie, even if the end result is pretty lightweight. 

Previously on "The Fandoms." (Part 6)
  • Pretty Little Liars fandom:“I came here to find out what happened to Charles and honestly I’m feeling so attacked right now…”
  • Supernatural fandom:*Currently engaged in GISHWHES*
  • Doctor Who fandom:*eagerly awaits for September 19th*
  • Harry Potter fandom:*cleaning up after J.K. Rowling/Harry Potter birthday bash*
  • Sherlock fandom:“Five hundred, seventy-five thousand, six-hundred dayssss…how do you measure, measure the extreme amount of waiting time we still have to face until season fourrrrr…”
  • Game of Thrones fandom:*not even going there*
  • Orphan Black fandom:*currently engaged in month-long Clone Dance Party in honor of Tat’s Emmy nod*
  • Disney/Pixar fandom:*still weeping over Bing Bong*
  • “The Leonardo DiCaprio trying to get an Oscar” fandom:“I’m telling you guys "The Revenant” could be it. This could finally be his chance!!!“
  • The 1D fandom:*currently in a campfire circle discussing and reflecting on the tumultuous year they’ve had so far*
  • The Walking Dead fandom:"Alright let’s see how this spin-off show goes…”
  • The X-files, Heroes, Wet Hot American Summer, & Twin Peaks fandoms:“Guess who’s back (back), back again (again)…”
  • The Frank Ocean fandom:“Or do you not think so far ahead (ahead)?”
  • The Frank Ocean fandom, again:“Cause we’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout the release of this album that inexplicably hasn’t come out yet even though it’s been like three years foreverrrrr (Oooh, oooh)…”

Harvey: Hey, who’s that little girl?

Linkara: I’m not sure, but sometimes when I’m fighting, it’s like I can feel a powerful voice inside my head, telling me how to win.

90s Kid: Does that mean you’ve been cheating?

Linkara: Well it’s more complicated than that -

Harvey: Sounds like cheating to me, kid.

Linkara: It’s not cheating! It’s more like we have a spiritual connection that goes beyond any -

Harvey: Hey little girl, has Linkara been cheating this whole time?

Margaret: *nods*

Linkara: Oh you guys can all just go straight to hell!

anonymous asked:

how would san.e, jay and loco react if you were staring at them with an adoring smile on your face and they ask why you're staring and you reply "i just really love you."? (you are already dating by the way)

San E would smile bashfully, not expecting her to tell him that. But it would make him blush and feel warm inside. He’d look at her affectionately, running his fingers through her hair, teasing her “What? I didn’t hear you tell me again” 

Jay would be taken back by hearing this suddenly. But a smile would slowly grow onto his lips when her words sunk into him. He would smirk and pull her into a deep kiss, wanting to show how much he loves her. 

Loco would love this! I can see him holding back the urge to squeal and from grinning like an idiot. He’d wrap his arms around her in a hug and peck her lips saying “I love you too baby”

- Admin E

beautifulstrnger asked:

How would Kageyama, Suga(mama), Kuroo, Oikawa, Iwa-chan and Tanaka react when they found out that their s/o left them because they were pregnant w/ their baby, and s/o's are scared that the pregnancy might burden/ruin the boys' future?

I love angsty stuff waaaay too much. It was kinda fun to write that, tbh. (。≖‿≖) 

Kageyama would stare at the both of them, with astonishment in his eyes. He wouldn’t even know what he should say, he would just look. But inside he would be still hurt and he would feel like back then, when they broke up with him. Didn’t he have a right to know that he was a father? That this was his child?
Of course, he hadn’t been there, but still… he would have cared for it. He would have done the best he could and it just hurt so much that they didn’t seem to trust him enough for that.
Still, Kageyama couldn’t be angry at that child and he would get softer just while looking at it. And as soon as they told him their reasons, he would understand and he would do his best to catch up on the things that he missed out.

Sugawara would be heartbroken. He would stare at his big love and at that child, that looked so much like him and he would start to cry. And it wouldn’t be like one of those movie scenes, where people cry but still look beautiful while doing it. It would be ugly, hard crying with lots of sobs and shaking involved. The thought of the time that he wasn’t there, that he lost, would break him. There was so much that he missed out. Suga would wish for a possibility to somehow turn back the time, to ask them back then if there wasn’t something else, that they didn’t tell him. To see them pregnant and to care for them while they where carrying his child.
From then on, he wouldn’t really leave the both of them alone. He would be there, to be a father for his child and to support the mother the best he could.

Kuroo would try not to behave strange while the child was still around. Sure, he was hurt and confused, but he didn’t want to confuse the young one, so he started to grin, while his heart was breaking. They were standing on their own feet, so he got on eye level with them and started to talk, just like nothing had happened. Like it wasn’t obvious that this was his child.
Of course, he had to talk to the mother, too, but he would do that when the both of them were alone. Not in front of his child. He was angry and sad and that shouldn’t be one of the first memories of it. It should remember him at his best and it should start to love him, like it would have if he had been there from the start. Kuroo wanted to be a good father so bad and he would do his best to be that.

Oikawa would be very dramatic about it. Sulking, even. But it would be a farce.
He would be so hurt about it and it would pain him, that they thought that he wouldn’t be a good father – well, he thought that to himself without really asking them about it. It was obvious, wasn’t it?
“Eeeh, you’re a mother now?”, he would ask, puffing his cheeks and sulking even more. “You didn’t even tell me. And I thought, we were still being friends.”
Of course he knew that he was the father, that child had a lot of him, but they didn’t need to know, right? He wanted to hear it from them. He wanted them to say how sorry they were, even if they didn’t mean that. They somehow owed that to him for hurting him that bad. Hell, he still was hurting about that break up and now they did it again.
He wouldn’t keep thinking that when they told him what the reason was. Then, he just would be sad and he would hate himself for not asking back then. For not stopping the mother of his child.

At first, Iwaizumi would just stare at them and he would still be bitter and angry because of the break up, but he would stop immediately when he saw that child. And after a few moments of silence and not knowing how to feel, he would start to cry.
What kind of a boyfriend had he been, that he didn’t notice the reason for their break up? He had been angry at them all the time, without trying to get them back. And if he had done that, he would have known. He would have had the chance to be there for his child and to care for the mother while the pregnancy.
Iwaizumi suffers hard because of that, because it’s his own fault, in some ways and he regrets being that angry at them. He regrets way too much. For him, it doesn’t even need an explanation. They are there and they had his baby, that’s all he needs to know to want to care for that little thing. To do his job right.
He hugs his partner tightly, but not too tight, because they are holding the child and he wouldn’t want it to be hurt.

As Tanaka sees the both of them walking down the street, he would stand still immediately, to stare at them.
“Eeeeeh?!”, he would scream, after a short moment needed by his brain to progress that view. His significant other with a child, a tiny, tiny worm in their arms. It couldn’t be that old and … he would start to calculate the time that has gone since their break up – he still knows the date – and now. And it fit perfectly.
If they hadn’t slept around, it could be his. He could be a father. That possibility would completely overwhelm him.
And they didn’t tell him at all. Their parents said nothing, too, as he tried to reach his former lover trough that old couple.
He would be horrified as he would think about the pregnancy, the pain of childbirth, that his ex partner had to go trough all alone and he would blame everything on himself. Tanaka would be so, so angry at himself, because he couldn’t be there for the both of them and ugh. Just because he had been that stubborn back then.
But he would be angry at that old couple, too.

- Mod M.

Taxi_57

“Where are you going?”

“Babysitting my friend’s sister.”

“Fun, eh?”

“It’s great,” he says. “I actually love playing with children. Strange for my age, right?”

“Well - yeah, definitely. You have siblings?”

“Five. All younger. But it’s great. I love it.”

“Wow…”

He laughs. “I know. I don’t think I’ve actually ever been annoyed with any of my brothers and sisters. It’s kind of worrying, actually.”

“No…no…that’s great!”

“No…but I don’t think it’s a good thing - to have never been annoyed at someone. Especially someone close to you. Because when something bad happens, neither of you know how to react. You know what I mean?”

“Mmmm.”

“And I can kind of feel something building up inside me. I might be imagining it, but I’m not sure. It’s something like this. I started feeling this when - well, it was not a long long time ago. It’s like, I have to leave home someday, right? It’s not like I can stay and look after them forever.”

“Sure, sure. Of course.”

“I mean - sometimes I feel like I’m being tied down. Like I can’t move anywhere. It’s bad, isn’t it? I mean - to feel like this.”

“Yeah. You shouldn’t feel that way about things. But it’s only natural, I guess. It means you’re getting ready to leave.”

“But it’s also kind of ironic, because it kind of gives me security. The fact that I’m being tied down. And I have…pretty big dreams.” He gives me an embarrassed smile. “But the bigger they are, the scarier they seem. And the scarier they seem, the more I want to stay at home. But the more I feel tied down, the bigger my dreams become. It’s a paradox. It’s like I’m trying to reach the sky, but every time I reach further into the sky the deeper my feet want to sink into ground. I’m just going in opposite directions. Like a tree. My roots and branches.”

The sound of sloshing raindrops. The rain falls on the umbrellas. I think they look much better when they are being used. 

They say get rid of the people who only speak negative to you, and you’ll find your way back to happiness.
The thing is, when I think about it, there’s no one sending me the negative energy my soul is charged up with. I don’t even allow people anywhere near my mind. I’m surrounded by high walls that are keeping them away. 
So yeah, I’m safe from the viruses people send out.
But am I safe from the thoughts my mind keeps spreading all around my brain? 
I think I’m the one who’s going mad with negative thinking. I send them to myself, and nicely receive them and make a home inside me for them to stay. 
How do you change the way your brain works? Your whole body is addicted to pain and misery, it brings you pleasure to feel agony.
Tragedy somehow has a protective effect on you, it teaches you how to become stronger when people surround you, but it also smacks you down and show you how weak and fragile you really are when you’re left alone. 
It slowly kills every cell in your head but also swiftly activates your senses.
You’re very tired of hurting, you beg your eyes to please stop shedding tears, you beg your mind to stop growing cactus all around your skull. 
You get the feeling of migraine headaches every night cause you try so hard to shut off the screams whispering in your ears.
I can never explain to you how depression works, but there are people out there who knows exactly what I’m trying to say. And I think I speak for all of us when I ask you to please stop thinking you know what it’s like and blame us for feeling the way we do.
  • what she says:i'm fine.
  • what she means:Do you ever wonder if maybe there's a dog that likes having their ear inside out??? Do you think that there's a dog out there, going around rubbing their head on things so their ear gets flipped inside out, just how they like it, and then somebody always just goes and flips it back again? Do you think that dog is sad, feels like the world is just out to get them??? Not lettin them live their lil backwards-eared life? Would we even know?????

Deep down I’m in pain. I won’t express to anyone the amount it Eats away at me. I wouldn’t tell a soul if it was killing me. I let it eat me like cancer. I won’t die immediately but soon enough I’ll get tired of fighting. I want everyone to know but for the wrong reasons so I won’t tell a soul. My soul suffers and it’s hard to breathe properly subconsciously which is how you normally breathe. I’m hurting and I can’t escape it. I can’t escape my mind I cannot just be. Im tired of how my face looks often. Each day I wake up and remember I’m inside me. I feel like I’m stuck in a memory. The memory has no oxygen. I see my parents and feel guilty being their creation. I’m using periods to separate my sentences. I feel like this period I’m in is separating me from the thesis of my purpose. I’m not in rising action because I haven’t broken from the shackles holding me from my journey. As I fall back into a depression that I’ve pretended wasn’t there he smiles as I return to his dungeon. My sword to slay this grim man has melted into sand and all I have are dirty vibes in the crevices of my hands. I hate my self for reasons. I cry a lot for these reasons. I bang my head against the walls to stop the pressure. The pressure never stops. I rub my eyes till they bleed. I want them to bleed so they can blurry the vision I have of myself but when I want blood the bleeding never starts. I can’t escape the compression. I’m stuck. I’m stuck. I’m stuck. The repetition makes my heart beat faster as if any of this means anything I’m saying is real. My feeling isn’t tangible but that’s why I feel it is more real than the physicality of what is around us. Being deep makes me afraid of what is pointless as I attempt to thrust upon my own personal endeavors I’m human. Maybe that’s the disgust maybe that’s where the mediocrity comes from. The writing isn’t making it better it’s just further separating my brain from reality. Why is it so hard for me to be me. Images of me slitting my throat in the tub. Images images. What reality is that in what reality do the react to. I don’t wanna breathe. After all of these years I’m unhappy with the construction of my face. Writers aren’t meant to be appreciated, why not ? Because in the process of progression we forget the route and the easy necessary things. No one cares is basically what I’m saying. So I’m good at the thing I love that no one loves. So what is loving myself ? I close my eyes hoping when I open them I won’t be here I close my eyes and see images that are inconceivable but only I can see the images in my darkness I’ve created. The demons that are created were created just for me. Only for me. I sadden me I sadden I’m saddened. I cry in times like the morning brush of my teeth or approaching the time where I choose an outfit from the misplaced clothes upon my floor that are emulating pieces and personalities of my mind. Which self do I want to pretend I an today ? I’m not valued because being just a human is being worthless. I wake up with my sinuses strangling my neck and lungs. I walk quietly to the bathroom hoping my parents forget my failure footsteps as the floor creeks revealing my insecurities in their frequent voices. I walk past them in the kitchen feeling like a burden being a waste of confounding bond bones and spirit. What am I ? My skin itches because I don’t feel like it’s mine so I’m always trying to get underneath my surface to release this other mans pressure. Sometimes I wish I could reach in my throat and rip out my vocal cords so I can lay them out on a table play the words I haven’t spoken of held behind my jealousy there’s something there that I’m holding. Dirty flesh, dirty eyes, filthy perception. What am I ? I don’t have the answers so they don’t have the answers. I’d pay for a solution but it wouldn’t be genuine. Nothing’s wrong with me everything is wrong if the feelings wrong. My body feels like a shitty a minor I’m out of key. I’m a pianists without fingers I never can play what my heart desires. My wonder for the universe has become a lifestyle there isn’t wonder anymore. Because the inconceivable does not yet exist but it is out there to be reached. My aspirations can only be touched by what I depict my imagination to be and in a mediocre world where material items are are the precedence


I feel good but I still wanna leave. To belong where when here was never. I feel faint but I won’t sleep. When you realize you aren’t real things start to appear different In the eyes. The eyes are the first thing to change. I can’t see right I’m slowly seeing myself become the inevitable self that I’m trying to so hard to prevent but how can swim against a reoccurring current. My mind is tired of my soul lungs want a divorce from each other they’re just tired of inhaling the air from this path I am on. My emotions slowly slow to a halt. I wanna live I wanna live. I know I want to live so why aren’t U living yet.

My crossing of path with a collection of collective men (man kind) I feel I’m casted beyond the outcast my bones are collectively as barren as the lands disposed of and drained by these collective men I’m tired of replacing love with agony just because my addiction for pain is easier to satisfy than my desire for love

I’m the infinite kid. “He’s this he’s that”. I am this and I am that just too see what you are just too explore your hints of disclosed pleasures hidden underneath the the tip of your tongue. “He gets it he gets me ”
I get you to feed me. Well rather not me, whatever is left inside has formed into what you see now. Of course you are pleased with what you see if you have a good sense of hubris you might me quite entertaining mysterious smart charming. How can I not be I’m neither seen in distraught nor fully appreciated but I observe from a far angle of solitude and dream and create scenarios incase they happen I’m 3 steps in front of the left step you took right before you fell I’ve positioned myself underneath your fall as an elegant blanket and the truth is in my entirety I do it because I crave a love I might not ever be able to taste… I feel the hurt I have caused to each every morning awake I dream to rewrite some of the path at which has lead myself into regret to quench my everlasting thirst for she who will allow me to drink endlessly to drink drunk into madness collapse and still breathe unconsciously as I drown in her…
“It’s not me it’s he” well he is him well he is him then him is me and I can’t escape myself from two men inside that yearn to seek the other deceased and will never cease to stop unless I cease to exist…

I’m sorry momma if you find my body dead on the floor
With my blood seeping off my sheets
I can only imagine the type of thoughts you’d explore
I could no longer deal with all the pain I’ve endured
so i decided to leave this note inside one of my drawers

Before you snooped in my drawers
And blame yourself for all the flaws that you think you implored
Just know that you are so pure

But that couldn’t stop the curiosity
That’d be mocking me and mocking
Cuz I never sleep ever
Follow my blackened brick road
Of ashes to overcast kinds of weather

You would see that my spirit is shouting inside of these clouds
Of discretion
These melancholy clouds crying
But the rain never seemed to just pour

So you may think there’s no storm
But there’s confession inside my passive aggression
I’ve got condescending type oculars
So tears may never descend
but inside a tornado I’m hurling shit that would scorn the condemned

My demeanor the meaner type of the calm before the storms
But you would never sense the slightest spite
It’s just the way I was born with the tightest grip of reality

In actuality I began to fall in love
in love with death defying type heights
Heights that compresses your ribs and starts holding your life in
apprehension so closely it almost feels right
being so bound to the throat

I always felt like I’m choking
Mama this monstrosity’s truth
My demon hidden inside my youth
Provoking me slowly I hid always his emotions
While cautiously I’m Avoiding emotional signs Of distress
as Im nauseously holding my stomach while I split open my flesh

Open flesh that’d given me breath and
a better glimpse of my death
I’d breathe in with satisfaction while sacrificing my neck
Felt like I was born to protect
But every time I would fret id feel the pressure of 6 billion
And only three people inside of me
One that’s willing to kill every single human and being and one that’s tryna kill I
And so I’m caught in between
Reality and my means

My molested perception how do you envisions your morals
When your visions of bodies hanging and shiny caskets with florals
So now deaths only a celebration based off of what’s deemed of your soul

Well not every heart that is pushing is pumping blood that is gold
For all the smoke I’ve inhaled it’s only charcoals in my sternum
yearning for burning pitches of dirty sermons that deem my persona so dirty
Like I was casted out of the heavens
A number seven that’s
Odd
a lucky number to many but it was forsaken by god

Is this the curse I was given so every time that I walk
I feel the burn of people’s pupils
They dilate like they saw a decrepit image of me like I was visible in their dark

So many lonely nights at the park wishing somebody racists
Would follow me home and possibly
Attempt to finally end it all
But you created me only half accepted by American law

Just because I’m lighter skinned
I’m supposed to run away from it all
This makes me better than my half brother naw, this just splits me into two
So not only do I suffer as me
I’m suffering like I’m you

Maybe a cop Would pull-up while I’m smoking a spliff
and purposely try to attempt to tempt my temper cuz I’m already a drift
so I revert to go brawl
While I’m already blurry eyed by the bloody mist of images
From every brother that falls
My memory is so dense
When I invision my broken past in my current present tense

I’m tense

Maybe he’ll pull his penetrable pistol from his hip
as the bullet would split open my overheating steaming temple
Releasing the pressure I’m withholding and carrying every since
My one true love had got killed

I’m resentful
Of these scars that won’t heal

I’m feeling Leary leery so weary seeing the end to my end
Before my end’s even created
Ive really debated this “man” ( man kind )

I peer into my peering image in my reflection of sins
I no longer see the sun rise in
My irises I admit
I’ve even tried to repent but every time I’d look to the sky my skin would begin to just itch

A slitherin tickle would press against bothof my lips
And for a moment there’s peace
A shed of light had broke in my eyes
But then I’m rushed into darkness
Right as Ive finally found how to cry

Were these the lips of an angel I began to swallow my pride
Cuz I’ve always questioned the god
That let me drown in my bloody
Disgust and left me hollow inside

I slipped into a conscious unconsciously state of my mind
And then I saw the demise
I split breath between the lips of my demon which lead me right back to demise it’s always the devil that chooses to wear disguise
but it’s also the devil also makes you realize

The me that has been tryna kill I figured if my wish was to die
He would just keep me alive
Until he’s ready to eat

I open my eyes in a hospital with one thing that to my eyes
I guess I gotta earn my way to death
Otherwise I will never truly die

……………….

I’m here again
I’m back inside the place
Where my daddy left

I hold my breath
Until my face is rippling
Heat upon my flesh
Why can’t I rest

I should’ve died already
Who am I behind this
These eyes
Hearing my voice inside the tears
I shed and cry

Why can’t I just escape
This vacant place
That is my life

………….

What do you want outta life kid
There’s only a few things you’ll be able to obtain and even then space has to open up for where you wanna be.

Think of it like a parking lot full spaces. Each person on their different paths coming from every which way yet orient around parking due to something they feel willed to obtain. Needless to say whatever it may be is subjective the fact of the matter . Objective is key kid objective is key. Never subject yourself. Because like the parking spaces there are the people who buy their way to which they want because they’ve been put in that position by someone else. Then there are the people who study the paths and frequencies and understand it pay attention a little more to human tendencies. The observers they seek they find they will even mimic at any cost to receive. They might even be so cunning as to just wait and wait and wait until one of the spaces finally listens to the undying will of the command. Then there are people who are just those people. The very minuscule that just glow and they unconsciously open doors with seemingly closed eyes. They are perceiving and living at a rapid rate that almost seems to decrease their mortality. Their moralities are never judged they seem to be a combination of the other two but just something else. Now you might think you need to decide. You might think you’ll never be the third one you might think you want to, but if you were to be third kid it’s living contradiction because that third person has given a tremendous cost to exceeds these social hierarchy boundaries. Humans can only be pushed when they come to the face of their own personal precipus. They didn’t choose it they didn’t create just like the name they were given. Just like the spot they just seemed to recurve every single time in the parking lot by never adhering to the deficit that maybe yes there is denial rejection they have created a natural selection amongst their own persona. What parts of them will live and what parts shall they let die stagnancy never hovers over the head of the number three option kid.
What are you willing sacrifice.

The biggest lesson in it all is understanding that giving your soul will do nothing because only the pure were chosen to be put in a natural predisposition

But if you want it that bad kid
You gotta do something for me

God to me

……………………

Who am I
The type of guy
You take a look
And segregate me with a common eye

The pressure builds
Feeling like a child
Who don’t know
How to feel

Who’s to blame
A heart that’s barely
Pumping out the the blood
That daddy gave

Aint no father
Even non worthy
Of the title
Should see their sunnys grave

Cuz I wouldn’t want my child
Feeling so hungry
That’d he’d have to cave

And resort to eating
His flesh to keep the breath
Who is gonna save ….
….
….
Me ?

…………………………….

I hope it rains I hope it really rains
I hope we wash away
That easy, I hope you know
Like hosing down ant holes

What kind of whole are we to think
His holiness won’t wash away
An entirety of cancerous ants
That are a little too out of control

……………………………


I want your humanity
Your insanity all that
All black all decrepit
All torn everything from your skin
To your jeans

I want your flesh
I want your sweat
The hidden statements
Under your breath

All that and all of it
All of you inside of you
All of me inside of you
All of you all over me

Too bad all of you doesn’t exist

………………………….

I feel being silent
I feel like being silent
Cuz silent felt like being me
We’re similar in agony

We’re similar like the like
You put in the first sentence
Non existent but still spoken of
Echoed upon our meaningless

That fills the air when all is dead

…………………

Wasn’t ready for the weakest hit
The slightest of my weakness hit
A place where only weakness hits
The epitome of the pit I had spent most of my seasons in

……………………….,,,,.,,,,,

Here’s some of my brain
Hope someone finds it useful

anonymous asked:

omg i'm venezuelan and i've been living here all my life and lately i've been feeling so anxious about our situation, i feel like i'm carrying something that gets heavier every day and i dont know when i will be able to rest. I feel trapped here i dont know what im gonna do if this doesnt get better soon :(

I can imagine how you feel that’s literally how my entire family feels as well and I wish there was more that other powers were doing to intervene somehow because it’s wild to me at this point?? How no one is even bringing this up at large like a human rights/civil rights issue that needs actual global attention as well it makes zero sense to me?? And they’re closing the doors incrementally not just for those inside to get out but for those outside to get in and it’s unfair it isn’t right that you and other young people have to deal with this and try to grow around that environment and I’m hoping you find an out soon to any other country or any other place )-:

anonymous asked:

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT LIAM FLAUNTING AROUND STAGE PRACTICALLY SHIRTLESS! I beg Zayn is sitting in front of his computer dying

Me @ Liam:

Me on the inside:

So I don’t drink. Honestly I don’t have much of an interest in it. I see how people act while intoxicated and id prefer to not have my decisions altered. BUT I feel like once I turn 21 I won’t be so against it, I feel like since I’m underage and such a rule follower it feels so wrong. Like at times I feel like id like to drink but then something inside of me stops me. Which is a good thing. I also feel like id be a talker when I’m drunk and there’s a lot of stuff I’d rather people not know…

Fusion Eye Observations

Ok so thought. Fusions’ eyes seem to be woefully inconsistent. But I think I might have a working idea on the structure of them now.

Fusion eyes do where the component gems feel like they should be. Opal has two eyes unlike most other fusions because Pearl and Amethyst’s eyes are in about the same place and are about the same size. So Opal has eyes shaped the same, with Amethysts’s pupils inside Pearl’s irises.

Sugilite’s eyes are literally just a combination of how Garnet feels her eyes should be, and Amethyst. Considering the size of Sugilite, Amethyst’s eyes probably don’t change much, they just move about a little on her face. Amethyst’s eyes are more in like with placement in relation to Sugilite’s hair rather than her nose, but still are there, while Garnet’s share of the eyes take on the familiar isosceles triangle shape.

Fun additional note: The red eye is on the side of the body with Sapphire’s gem and the blue eye is on the side of the body with Ruby’s gem. Also, the eye color isn’t maintained at all. Ruby’s eyes are much darker red to the point of looking nearly black, and Sapphire’s eye is baby blue. So gems’ eye colors easily blend when fused well.

Alexandrite’s eyes, since we can’t see them under the mask, probably either follow this pattern too, with eyes combining into similar shapes, or perhaps there are just a row of eyes under the glasses. Or perhaps they’re under the mask. It’s hard to say.

Jasper and Lapis both have very similar eyes, but Jasper’s are a little higher up compared to her nose, and a bit squintier, though they’re very expressive still like Lapis’s. Hence why Malachite’s eyes change so drastically between shots… not to mention she is unstable as anything.

The color is also about halfway between Jasper’s yellow and Lapis’s dark blue.

Sardonyx throws a bit of a kink into the trend. She doesn’t appear to have pupils at all, or the appropriate number of eyes. My thought is that maybe, because Pearl’s gem is about where Sapphire’s eye is, it ‘overwrites’ and therefore Sapphire’s pupils don’t contribute to the overall eye shape. Considering the eye placement, though, I think the top eyes are Garnet’s contribution and the lowers are Pearl’s.

So it seems if there are colored components, those combine first. If there are pupils those are usually added. The more ‘close’ the fusion the more likely they are to combine more thoroughly. Eye placement seems to follow where the original gems think they should go. Shape tends to combine to a point. There is no exact rhyme or reason, but it tends to follow a basic structure at least.

anonymous asked:

When will I finally be good enough for someone? Everyone leaves me after 2 months. I can't get anyone to stay

you need to be good enough for yourself. don’t worry about other people, you shouldn’t have to make people stay. pound that into your mind. if they leave they weren’t for you and you’re closer to someone who is. you need to learn how to find happiness inside of you, and people will be want to be close to you naturally. i’m sorry you feel this way. things will get better.