how-do-people-do-these-so-easily

It’s so crazy to think that we can get so easily frustrated when we do things for people and even if we do not expect anything back, we get frustrated that they can’t even say a simple thank you to us. Imagine how God feels. And he does greater things for us knowing that some of us won’t even appreciate it and we will say no i don’t want this or that cause I hate God or I don’t believe in God!

Just something to think about when you’re doing things for other people even when you know they may never appreciate it.

naughticalarry  asked:

Little Things, Change My Mind, and You and I

Little Things: Name five things you find attractive in others.

1. I find someone really attractive if they have a good personality and a sense of humor.

2. If they can laugh at themselves.

3. If they’re nice to me and other people.

4. If they don’t take themselves to seriously. 

5. If they are willing to do things I like even if they might hate it, they’re still willing to try.

Change My Mind: Are you good at making final decisions or do you easily change your mind?

no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no.  no. n. o.

You & I: Talk about your OTP.

Okay listen, first of all how dare you. Second of all, if I talked about these idiots there would be too much screaming. So here are some gifs.

Me:

tbh nobody’s read clarke like lexa’s “you’re driven to fix everything for everyone” since abby said “your first instinct will be to put everyone else first” in the pilot and i think that’s a pretty good indicator of how well lexa knows her

Okay though but hanzo is my baby and like people usually portray him as super uptight and Mr no-fun, but this is the guy who has a pokemon reference as a voice line, who references old memes, and yeah he is broody but hear me out for a moment
Hanzo who’s over a decade out of date with cultural references, with games and movies, because they were his and genji’s thing, because they used to sneak away from training together to do that stuff. But when genji died, when he killed him, it felt wrong doing the things they did together, when it was his fault how could he possibly continue as if nothing was wrong…
So hanzo cut off outside he entered a lonely life of solitude and self hatred, and you can’t break that easily.
I just want hanzo who’s healing, who’s beginning to understand that he is forgiven, and opening up again to people, to Genji in particular and to the things he used to love. Please I just want a tender hanzo rediscovering himself after years of selfhatred.

856. Some NEWT charms students from Ravenclaw figured out how to make a magic-deadening field in a corner of their common room, where none but the most powerful wizards can practice magic. Even then, their powers are greatly weakened. It’s useful because they can adjust how much it blocks magic, and is helpful when practicing non-verbal spells because students can say the incantation out loud, make the field stronger so they have to concentrate more, do this over and over again and they’ll have to concentrate harder to make spells work as the field gets stronger. Then when they step out of the field they can easily concentrate hard enough to do non-verbal spells. Of course, this was not originally the intended use. It was made so that people could use WiFi at school. Teachers who are smart enough to get past the door of their common room regularly go there to unwind and check the latest updates on social media. The students with more Slytherin-like characteristics offer to put these fields in the common rooms and dormitories of other houses for a exorbitant monthly fee, because the fields require regular maintenance and reinforcement and only Ravenclaws taking NEWT Charms can do the spells.

submitted by sherlollipops

ENTJ: Leadership

Combined with the following asks:

  • Do you have any tips on being a better leader? Especially of unmotivated people who have no interest in helping and get easily distracted? 
  • Thank you so much for this blog. I’m an INTJ who is majoring in directing for film and TV, but I’ve found that I can be a rather inconsistent leader – for some projects, I’m at the top of my game, but for others, I overthink everything and all self-confidence seems to flee. Do you have any tips or suggestions about how to succeed as a leader, particularly for introverts?
  • I’m an intj high school student planning to organize/oversee a fairly large-scale fundraising event next year, and am wondering if you have any tips for managing people effectively. As this will be a pretty demanding project, any advice is welcome!

Related answers:

Characteristics of a great leader (my 4 Cs):

1. Competence. A great leader is skillful at something. He should be organized, intelligent, timely, and accessible. I roll all these traits under competence because not having your shit together is the epitome of incompetence.

2. Confidence. A great leader needs to speak up, make tough decisions, stand by those decisions, and follow through. A great leader can act quickly and execute but also knows when he’s wrong and has to reconsider his decisions to choose another route. Balancing those two traits is crucial because too much of the former creates a battering ram boss (a xxTJ and xxFJ stereotype) and too much of the latter creates a scattered and ineffective leader (a xxTP and xxFP stereotype).

3. Communication. A great leader needs to provide the team with direction and clarity. If your team doesn’t know what’s going on, they won’t know what to do and if they don’t know what to do then they’ll either do it wrong or they won’t do it at all. Communication mobilizes the troops, sets expectations, clarifies confusion, helps catch issues before they become harmful, and above all, builds relationships and trust.

4. Compassion. A great leader inspires loyalty and devotion which translates into stronger relationships, happier teams, higher performance, and greater output. Now why is that? Why do likable people make better leaders? Because no one wants to work hard for a person they hate and no one wants to struggle and suffer to make a person they dislike shine. Why the hell would I put in 80 hours a week so you can get a raise?

Compassion is a huge part of charisma. It shouldn’t be fake and insincere but it also shouldn’t be accommodating to the point you’re letting sloppy and unacceptable behavior slide. Compassion is summarized by this statement: “I may not know exactly how you feel or what you’re going through but I’m here and I’m listening because you and your needs are important to me.”

Laws of leadership

1. Lead from the front, not the back. This means you need to be present, engaged, and setting the example for your peers and subordinates. Don’t stroll into work in the middle of the afternoon while everyone else clocks in at 5 am. They might not say anything but your team will resent you. You need to be the first one in and last one out. This will build respect.

2. Never ask someone to do something you wouldn’t do yourself. For example, asking someone to work on a Sunday night on their birthday or asking someone to miss their wedding anniversary to finish a deliverable. Your team will hate you if not outright quit. Also, even if you ask someone to do something that you would do yourself take a second to consider their personality, circumstances, and limits. I can work a 19 hour day because I have no wife or kids at home, but is it reasonable for me to ask someone else to do the same? It’s not. Make the right call. This will build trust.

3. Always explain why, even if they don’t ask. Always provide a justification for your actions even if your team doesn’t ask. This will provide context, clear up miscommunication and assumptions, and build trust. For example: “I’m sorry but we need to put in extra hours just for today because our project deadline moved up by client request and our budget is running low." Your team won’t be happy but they’ll at least understand. This will build communication.

4. Protect your people. This is important. This means if a client request is unreasonable, you need to push back. I’ve had situations where the client wanted to schedule 2 AM calls because they were on the East Coast and we were on the West Coast after our team worked an 18 hour day. I told the client to either reschedule the call or that I would be the only one attending the meeting because I was sending my team back to the hotel to sleep. The client wasn’t happy, but they understood.

Also, in the event your team makes a mistake and gets ripped a new one, you need to step up and receive the brunt of the beating. I’ve been on calls where our team was screamed at – cussed out– because something didn’t turn out correctly. Don’t throw anyone under the bus even if you can pinpoint who made the mistake, take the discussion offline, and shield your team from the abuse. This will build loyalty.

My teams would go to war with me, they’d follow me to the end of the world and back.

Motivating unmotivated people

I’m glad you asked this question because you will rarely, if ever, have a perfect team with perfect synergy and perfect circumstances to perfectly deliver a project. Learning how to manage and motivate unmotivated people is a huge chunk of being a great leader and why leaders get paid the big bucks (and also why introverts avoid leadership positions).

I use the carrot and stick method which means I try to fix the problem nicely first and if it doesn’t resolve itself I bring out the ENTJ hammer and bring it down. I never micromanage. I know NTJs get a bad rep for doing this but it’s an absolute last resort, a huge energy drain, and an awful option because if I have to do your job then I can’t effectively do mine.

The Carrot

1. Set expectations early and communicate them clearly. Example: "Our team needs 2 reports from you by Friday next week at 5 PM. I’d like to help you so let me know how you want to tackle this project and what you need to succeed.” This does two things:

  1. You’ve preemptively removed the two most common excuses for failure: “I didn’t have enough help/direction/support” and “I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.”
  2. This person feels supported and encouraged to start. He or she will feel comfortable reaching out to you throughout the process.

2. Conduct touchpoint meetings with the entire team to get regular updates and enforce accountability. Keep this person and their progress visible in front of the entire team. "Agenda item 3: getting an update on our reports. Hey John, where are we with that? How’s it coming along and do you need any help?” This does two things:

  1. It keeps the person on track without embarrassing or antagonizing them because everyone on the call is treated equally and expected to provide a status update.
  2. It allows you to catch issues early.

3. Provide frequent feedback. The rule of thumb is that praise should be given publicly and correction should be given privately. This does two things:

  1. It corrects issues before they become huge problems.
  2. Compliments build momentum, positive feedback inspires and encourages.

The Stick

If that fails and the person has a pattern of behavior then I remove them from the team. If you follow steps 1, 2, and 3 it shouldn’t surprise your team or the problematic person why you’re doing what you’re doing and how you came to that conclusion.

anonymous asked:

I'm really curious, how do you think the Dalish people who have disabilities (deafness, blindness, mute, missing limbs, ect) would be like within a clan? I sort of headcanon my Dalish inquisitor as blind and I was wondering your opinion on the matter?

Merrill: What does your Chantry do? I mean, you keep saying how great it is. Anders and Isabela tell me to stay away from it. But what does it do? Among the Dalish, the Keepers teach the children, preserve our history, perform magic. The priestesses here just… sing.
Sebastian: The Chantry does many charitable works. It cares for widows and orphans—
Merrill: Who in the Dalish would just be part of the clan, like everyone else. I just don’t get it.

Merrill says that the Dalish do not so easily dismiss people, and I think physicial disabilities wouldn’t change that either.* For the most part, I think, being blind would not keep your Inquisitor from being accepted, and I think they would accommodate how they can. Teach them in different ways, care for them, anything that’s necessary.

Now I doubt the Dalish are completely free of ableism; unfortunately there are jerks and bullies like that in every society. But their strong sense of community is a big deal. 

And like, there’s no reason a disabled Dalish wouldn’t be just as important a member of the clan as anyone else.

*It does seem though, that all of Thedas has a lack of understanding in mental disabilities. Even with ignoring the bullshit Gaider supposedly said about how ‘there’s no mental illness in Thedas because there’s no one to diagnose it.’ I don’t like it and I wanna headcanon that shit away into orbit, but yeah.

A couple of thoughts: why don’t we give people around us more love when it is one of the few things we can give even if we don’t have it ourselves? Why don’t we ever say what we really think, especially when we get our hearts broken? Why do we always settle for less than we deserve, even if the people around us are willing to give us more? When will we decide to live life the way we want to and give up on people who don’t deserve us? And who is it that we’re waiting for? Why are there some sentences that everyone thinks, but no one says? Why can’t we say “I love you” and “I miss you” or “I thought about you  a lot today” and “you look beautiful” as easily as we can say “hey” or “how are you”? Why do we make life tough for ourselves and create drama when there’s nothing to create drama about? Why do people find apologizing so hard even if there’s nothing they want to do more than say sorry and make up? Why do we decide to call so few people our friends when the whole world is filled with people we might potentially get along with, who are all so unique and special? Why do we spend our whole lives at one place when there are so many beautiful places to discover? Why do we make such a big deal out of falling in love when it is something that almost every human being does?
— 

And when will people decide to break down all the walls they have built around themselves and begin to truly live the way they want to?

e.e.

anonymous asked:

Do you have any tips for new artists to be noticed by people?

Hmm, good question! I think the best things you can do are:

  • draw the things you love and are enthusiastic about; you will naturally attract people who are also into those things
  • make sure to tag your content appropriately so that people looking for those things can find your stuff easily
  • take part in challenges and fests that people are likely to follow; examples include but are not limited to things like Inktober, the Haikyuu!! Big Bang and old-style fandom fests
  • if you can, try to post content regularly; this will ensure people don’t forget you actually exist! (obviously try to avoid spamming…)

Gaining attention and a following is something of a snowball effect. The more people that like and share your stuff, the more people will see your stuff, therefore even more people will like and share your stuff. It sounds cheesy but if you just crack on with drawing the things that make you happy the rest will follow in time. 

I joined Tumblr in mid 2011 and it took me four years to reach 5K followers. It took me a further year before I reached 9K followers, and another two months before I hit 14K followers. The count grows every day, but I haven’t really changed what I do. Being active in a large, popular fandom like Haikyuu!! has helped a lot, certainly, and so has being more interactive with the people that follow me, but fundamentally I am still drawing stupid gay fanart of my fave anime characters, just as I have been for more than a decade…

Good luck, anon! <3

Steven Universe,Amethyst

Steven: Am i the cruelest creature on the planet?

Amethyst:*laughs Oh Steven,those are just words people use to discribe how they feel about you

Steven: …

Amethyst:…Listen Steven,you cant let ANYONE make you feel like garbage

Steven:Is that how you feel?

Amethyst: *looks away, i only feel how i wanna feel

can we just take a moment and appreciate Amethyst’s words?

She does what she wants to,although everyone says that this is bad and she is too childish or reckless, she doesnt care because if she wants to do it SHE WILL.She wont get influenced so easily by others.Nowadays,other people’s opinions are more important than ours.We give more attention to the other opinion and dont care about OUR opinion at all because we think that if we listen to someone else then its better.But what if that person will use it as his advantage and try to destroy you and make you his puppet?

Amethyst shows how is it to be free,to do what you want to and to not care about what others say about you.She shows how you should live YOUR life.Haters gonna hate.And you need to be free, to live your life without someone trying to take control of it.your opinion does matter aswell as you do,so keep that in mind.

anonymous asked:

Okay so you know how society tells people it's okay for guys to be "excited" or easily aroused? Well I'm female and I kinda have this problem with getting "excited" easily or way too much. I could just cuddle with my gf and start getting aroused

Okay, that’s fine? 

There is undeniably double standards in regards to things like thing (I’d say there’s undeniably double standards in pretty much everything,) women get just as aroused as men do, they want sex as much as men do, it’s just we’re taught to be ashamed of it, or that, you know, it’s not true and we don’t feel that way. Getting turned on cuddling your girlfriend is totally fine and totally natural! 

Mod life update- Ari

I haven’t been so active on MIM the past week or so, but I intend to slowly start answering asks again and being more involved. 

I am fighting so hard to keep myself focused on my own recovery. I tend to easily be influenced by how my friends are doing, two of them are struggling very badly at the moment with their mental and physical health. However, I know logically that I can only support them- I cannot make them better or control their choices. I really struggle with feeling helpless. I want the people I love to be okay, and I tend to let my own mental health also fall apart when they are not okay. 

This time around, I am trying not to do that though. I really cannot afford to. I know logically, rationally, that the best thing I can do for both myself and my friends is to keep taking care of myself. To give them space when they need it, support when they need it, and other than that, to just remind them that I care.

I wanted to share this with our fellow Mice because not only did it give me the needed time to reflect while writing it, but also for you to keep it in mind for yourselves, We can’t save people, we can only love them. We only have control over our own choices and reactions. So try to make the best ones you can, and know that I am trying to as well.

Take care,

Ari

In India, as in many countries around the world, mental illnesses are stigmatized. One area I’m focusing on is depression in rural and poor areas, and I’ve been told by health care providers not to use the word “depression.” Ask about “stress” or “tension” instead. And never ask people how they feel about having a “mental illness” – the term doesn’t translate easily, and the explanation would be upsetting. Neighbors would talk. They might be shunned.

So I don’t ask directly.

I do ask about their experiences. I talked to an illiterate woman who stopped eating and wouldn’t get out of bed and didn’t care about the world when she was 8 months pregnant with her second child.  The doctor told her she was seriously threatening her chances of a healthy birth. Her husband, too, began to show signs of depression from the stress of doing his wife’s work of caring for their first child and cooking and cleaning, and the sadness of not being able to help his wife.

A local woman who’s received some counseling training came to her home. The counselor came by for 14 sessions, and gave the woman specific tasks. Take a walk every day. Do something you enjoy doing. Report back to me. The routine got the woman back on her feet. She had a healthy baby, and is fine now.

The woman is willing to tell her story, and have it heard, because she is so grateful to the lay counselor. A man who sunk into a deep depression when his 18 year old son left home without warning is similarly willing to talk about his stress and tension, even though he hadn’t wanted his friends to know.

I’m seeing that naming something – so important in my world – is not helpful in their world. Naming something means the neighbors will talk. Naming something means feeling shame.

There is indeed a time and a place for everything, and this is not the time for mental health advocates in the low-resource areas I’m visiting to fight stigma. Maybe once effective depression care is widely available, but not here, and not now.

Images and caption by Joanne Silberner.

For more of Joanne’s reporting, visit her project, “Climate Change and Mental Health.”

brokensinners 

Heyoooooo so I’ve finished said picture at last. I thought, what would be the running thoughts between Kennith and Speths head? Mostly Kenniths was ‘whooooo welcome to colourville kids, let’s die together!’ and him not really paying attention to real life at all. Like he’s in a super trance and not really there as such.

Whilst in Stephs, it unlocks a memory of Kennith jokingly making a hint of how he would take over the world/how he would die when he was asked in a game of truth and dare by a kid (also I think that Kennith isn’t super aware of what’s right or wrong so he’s easily kind of mislead by people in general) and he answered in a super mixed vague answer so it was of those ‘yeah I’d do this but I wouldn’t really do it’ kind of answers. Steph didn’t really think much of the answer until the broadcast that happened with Kennith and just slowly started freaking the hell out as she knew it was a ticking time bomb to his demise so she made the phone call and stuff to save his life.

That’s just my thoughts that I had in my head when I was doing this the whole time since it fitted with their split sides and stuff. Anyhoodle, I’ll stop me rambling now aha.

OMG that’s actually some very accurate thoughts you’ve got going on there! like all of that would easily be canon if, like, communications was in a timeline story form……… :’^)

I figured it was a matter of time before someone would complain about how I drew Naya in the story. It’s not the first time I’ve seen comments like this- but it is the first I’ve seen directed specifically at PRS, so I suppose it’s time I finally step up and say something on the subject. Let this be an open message to all fan-artists of any fandom.

Do not ever allow people to tell you how to draw your characters. Deviating from the official designs is not a bad thing, nor should it ever be considered so. Draw them how you want to- if that means adding some different traits or changing things up a bit- by all means, do so!

Going away from the original designs can be fun and give your Pokemon characters unique personality and make them more recognizable. I personally change up the traits of each of the PRS characters a bit so that they would be easily distinguishable from others of the same species. How would people know the difference between two characters of the same species across ANY series if we all stuck true to their original designs?

Even in nature we have variations of the same species. Look at cats for a great example- they are a single species yet they have so much variation. Different eye colors, different fur markings, different fur types- these traits are important in telling one cat apart from another. Why should our Pokemon characters be any different? By adding variations in traits of our characters we mark them out as individuals instead of just another Flareon or another Pikachu.

There is no ‘proper’ way to draw Pokemon. There never will be and never should be as it would only stifle imagination. So to all you Pokemon artists- especially you awesome comic makers- draw your characters however you want. Do not bend to the small-mindedness of those like the poster above. Their approval is not worth compromising your artistic choices and styles.

And no- I won’t ever change Naya’s design. I like drawing her that way. Flareons in the PRS world have a wide variation in how their mane looks depending on where they’re from and whether or not they get it styled. Deal with it.

- Neko

(I don’t usually ask for reblogs, but I’d appreciate if this got out a bit since this is a problem I have seen in the comic community numerous times in the past.)

anonymous asked:

Hi, I'm a new follower and I just /have to/ tell you how much I love your B99 fics. The characterization is so great I can easily imagine that being canon. I also love Morrissey and Schmidt (which is saying something, bc I usually don't like fics that feature OCs as major characters, but in this case, I do). I have a question related to that, btw. How far in the future (from the show's timeline) are these "next-gen" fics set? Anyways, keep on doing what you're doing bc your writing is amazing.

Aw hey thank you!! I really appreciate that :)

Morrissey and Schmidt are such a strange phenomenon, like I never expected so many people to actually like them?? Especially because I wrote that first one-shot on my phone while I was at work for @phil-the-stone based on the concept she and @weaslayyy came up with together and it absolutely blew up. As far as timeline goes, I think it’s between 7 and 10 years into the future based on where the show is currently (putting Jake and Amy in their early to mid-forties). I say “I think” because I didn’t personally put a lot of thought into an exact timeline when I started writing it, I just knew that it was Amy would still be relatively new to being captain and that Maya and Benji would both be very smol still.

Thank you so much!!! <3 <3 <3

anonymous asked:

What skills does a person learn in therapy? Do you have some examples? And do you learn how to teach these skills in grad school? I'm hoping to get into a PhD program after undergrad, and I was wondering what skills people learn and how you know of them. Thanks for all you do!

It depends on what their therapy goals are. For example, a person might come in with difficulties in their relationships, and might learn assertiveness skills and boundary setting. Another person might come in with difficulties with emotion regulation, and so might learn skills to help them regulate their emotions more easily as well as to feel more comfortable with their more intense emotions. 

You do learn how to teach skills in grad school, in general. Typically grad students in clinical psych complete practicum- clinical training -in different settings, usually including a department clinic, and work with different clients. During that grad students get targeted training by supervisors (licensed psychologists) to help them be effective with those clients and learn how to do different types of treatment. Which skills each student learns will vary- like, I specialize in serious mental illness, so I learned more social skills training compared to people who work with families, who learned parent-child interaction training, for example. 

maxpowersimpsonskywalkerspock  asked:

As much as I like Maria Hill,I think that seeing her calling Ward Garrett's lapdog showed how flawed and incompetent she'd been as SHIELD's second in command. She failed to notice Stockholm Syndrome and brainwashing in one of their best agents. Besides that,this SHIELD showed that the heads had too little knowledge about the human nature. It's not a surprise Hydra could get infiltrated so easily...

I think part of why Hydra was able to stay hidden within SHIELD for so long was also because a lot of the higher up people in SHIELD expect to never have orders questioned. You’re told what to do and you do it. I think if more agents were able/willing to question any….questionable orders they might receive, then Hydra would not have been able to hide so well. 

But yeah, you’d expect people in their line of work to be familiar with those types of things and be able to recognize them. Especially when they have to do assessments of agents in order for them to be approved to do some things, such as Coulson forming his team. All in all, I feel like a lot of the leaders in SHIELD are not the right people for their jobs.