How do you understand life and people and emotions so well? Is it all through mbti or do you also apply your own experiences? How do I become so emotionally intelligent myself?
No, it is not only MBTI, I have studied a wide range of subjects in depth, formally and informally. MBTI is just a convenient shorthand I use to explain concepts to people in a way that they can more easily understand. As for emotional intelligence, it is not an easy thing to improve to a high level because emotions are weaved into much of our cognitive system, making it extremely difficult to view them objectively, sort of like asking a person to look at their own retina. The psyche has many layers and just when you think you’ve discovered the
truth about yourself, you’ll find that there is another layer underneath. Emotional intelligence involves: knowing what emotions are and their role within your psychology, being aware of emotions as they arise, understanding the source of emotions, understanding how emotions influence your judgments about the world and other people, and developing strategies for managing negative emotions.
Function-wise, you should develop your four functions to the point where you can reflexively disperse negative emotional energy in productive ways rather than allowing emotional “clots” to build up in the psyche. Those emotional blockages produce significant psychological barriers for you to overcome on top of whatever else is happening to you, thus, managing them better produces greater emotional resiliency, freeing up mental energy to do other things. Different types have different strengths if they are functioning normally, for instance, Ts are good technical problem solvers and Fs are good with handling people; however, reverse their roles and their respective coping limitations will become obvious. I’ve seen countless examples of people who are so confident that they have
developed a function and then those delusions
crack very easily once the right emotional button is pushed. Becoming aware of those buttons is the difficulty and that is what emotional intelligence is really about, building depth of self-awareness. A lot of people instinctively believe that avoiding or shielding the buttons is the right strategy but actually, the more you try to shield them from yourself or others, the more you attract situations that press on them. Each type travels a somewhat different path of development but, generally speaking, developing the lower functions requires a lot of time and effort because the rewards are not immediately obvious and complacency is often a more powerful force but, in the process of developing, your emotional intelligence will grow organically because the key to both processes is improving self-awareness.
“Self-realization cannot be attained by intellect or rationality alone.” - Abraham Maslow