how to succeed

Hoe Tips: School and Studying

I’m currently in PA school with close to a 4.0 GPA, and with college and back to school starting up, I’m dropping some tips for y'all. A hoe gotta get bomb ass grades if ya want a bomb ass career and to be successful af. So let’s get it✨

1. Write out your notes. Have two notebooks: one for when you’re in class (this one can be messy) and one for at home (this one is the neater one, for color coding, formatting, and all that organizational jazz). Writing things out is proven to enhance memorization 7X more than just reading is.

2. Have a go-to format for your notes. Numbering, bullet points, whatever floats your boat.

3. Type out your notes. I use Google Drive, because it automatically saves all your shit, and you can access your notes via your Google account literally anywhere. Typing out your notes does the same thing writing them out does, as far as helping you review the material.

4. Use Quizlet. Quizlet is a free flashcard website/app that allows you to type in all of your flashcards and definitions, and gives you review options like matching, testing, flashcard mode, and more. This shit made me my high schools valedictorian, no lie.

5. Keep your old quizzes and tests. Often times, teachers will ask similar questions on finals.

6. For math-based subjects, always always always show your work in your notes. I try to explain each step for a math problem in the margins of my notes, and generalize how to do each problem at the end.

7. Do practice problems consistently.

8. For my college hoes: never take an 8 am class. You think you can do it because you did it for high school, but I promise you will regret it. If there’s no avoiding the 8 am lecture, bring coffee and skip any makeup/hair that day. Sleep is too important.

9. Make flashcards. The night before my exams, I like to try and fit everything I need to know for a specific chapter/topic onto one flashcard, in order to weed out main ideas.

10. For essays, easybib.com is amazing with free citations to avoid any plaigiarism or incorrect bibliographies.

11. Rent👏your👏textbooks👏. Unless your teacher specifically requires you BUY it, you likely won’t need the actual textbook. Buying access codes for the book online is hundreds of dollars cheaper.

12. If you do get your textbooks, a lot of them have chapter summaries at the end of each chapter. Be sure to write out/type out/review those summaries.

13. For science labs, if you are allowed, take pictures of any models or slides you need to know for your exams. Pretty much all labs won’t let you take pictures of cadavers or animal dissections, but plastic models and microscope slides should be fine.

14. If you have a question, ASK YOUR TEACHER. It is better to look stupid in class and get your clarification, than to look stupid when you get your exam back and actually have it count against your grade.

15. Do study groups. I have two nursing friends in some of the same classes as me, and we’d always meet up before exams to go over the material. We would bring dry erase markers and map out shit in empty classrooms, taking turns explaining shit to each other until we nailed it.

16. Try to teach the material. Like I said in #15, study groups are great for this. By teaching the material out loud, you are subconsciously reviewing it yourself. This is a HUGE help.

17. Take breaks. You cannot exhaust yourself and expect to still recall anything you learned.

18. I know everyone does this and there’s no avoiding it sometimes, but DO NOT CRAM. Gradual learning is most effective.

19. Have one day every week where you don’t do any schoolwork. You need time to reboot.

20. Use your phone’s calendar/task checklist app for all major assignments, due dates, exam dates, study plans, appointments, etc. Set reminders as needed.

21. Charge your phone in another room while studying. No distractions.

22. Rainymood.com is a free website that plays a 30 minute loop of rain sounds. It helps me focus like nothing else, especially in my loud ass household, and every time the loop stops and replays, I know to take a break between 30 minute study sessions.

23. Feel distracted at home when studying? Try studying in a library, cafe, or even at school. I find that going somewhere else to study actually forces me to pay attention to what I’m doing, for some reason.

24. Reward yourself for good grades. Buy yourself a slice of pizza or a new highlight, have a netflix marathon, go to a party, or take a nap. Whatever conveys a job well done, do it. It’ll make all that studying feel that much greater when it’s over, and you’ll have a goal to work towards.

25. Sit in the front of the classroom as often as possible. You’ll be forced to pay attention, be able to actually see the board, hear the instructor better, and you’re more likely to have your questions answered quickly because your teacher will actually see your hand go up.

26. Caffeinate. I prefer tea because it’s healthier, but coffee works too. Ya girl is NOT a morning person, but my morning tea at least helps me pay attention during earlier classes.

27. Keep all of your school shit organized, together, and labelled.

28. Do NOT skip a class just because you’re lazy or don’t feel like going. The temptation is real sometimes, but a hoes gonna be pissed when ya see your participation average decline.

29. This may just be a psychological thing, but I love to use the same colored/brand of pen for all of my notes/assignments/tests. It just makes everything seem more uniform, and I’m able to recall information better.

30. Trouble taking tests? For any multiple choice question, read the question and try to answer it first without reading any of the options. If your answer doesn’t match the options, then use process of elimination to find the best answer. For true/false questions, write out justifications for each answer (you can also do this for multiple choice). You’ll be acing your exams in no time.

31. Chewing gum during class/studying, and chewing that same flavor gum during the exam, has been scientifically proven to boost your memory recall.

32. Literally any time you have the opportunity to do extra credit, DO IT. Cherish that shit.

33. If you aren’t doing so hot in a particular class (literally any math class for me lol), schedule a private meeting with your professor and go over test questions you missed, or topics you didn’t get. If you know your professor is a flop, or can’t get an appointment, meet with a tutor or another professor of that same subject. Sometimes another voice can shed new light on a difficult topic.

34. For essays, readable.io critiques your writing for free based on readability, grade level, formality, tone, grammatical errors, etc. Seriously a life saver.

35. Also thesaurus.com is ya bff for fancier words/phrases to make your writing more eloquent

36. Always make an outline for every essay or project to organize what you want to say. This will keep you on track, and help you work around any quotes or sources in you writing to make sure your writing is hella organized.

That’s all I can think of for now, please please please feel free to add and share. Enjoy those 4.0’s, hoes💞

RE-PROGRAMMING YOUR MINDSET FOR SUCCESS

I feel like I have to share my pathway towards success with you because I spent all my life considering success as the very end of the journey when in reality you can have it all along the way. And I think that understanding this is fundamental, not only for your studies but also for your everyday life.

I’ll start by showing you a little example. During my long stay in Cartagena I had the occasion to do a few salsa dance lessons with some of my friends (yeah cliché I know) and as I was listening to the salsa teacher I kept telling myself that I was too rigid and not coordinated at all and that I’d look terrible dancing.

When we had to practice the moves I couldn’t keep up with the rhythm and honestly, I was a mess. The teacher even came to me to tell me that I was thinking too much about the moves!!

In that very moment, I thought: “ok Margot, now think you’re a latina goddess, you’re sexy and you’re a born-to-be a dancer”. As soon as I started telling this to myself, my moves completely improved. They got so much better that I was the only one in the group who was able to perform all the moves correctly on the first try.

What I want to tell you with this story is : you won’t go anywhere as long as you keep a negative mindset. The second you switch your mindset and you turn it into something positive, a little miracle happen. Just as me being able to perform good dance moves (and trust me that this one is really a true miracle :)

Now, I know it’s easy to say but I really want you to understand this because it’ll change your life like it changed mine : whatever you think about, you become.

The minute you start filling your brain with useless thoughts like “I’m not enough of this”, “I wish I had this”, “I wish I looked like that”, “I’m too fat to wear that”, “I have no self-control”, “I’m bad at maths”, etc. well guess what : you’ll still be bad at maths, you’ll stay sad and in months from now you’ll be stuck in the same place.

Here are some bits of advice about what you should be doing instead. Notice that this post is inspired by Gabrielle Bernstein’s book “The Universe has your Back” and also by other inspiring video’s I watched in the past few months :) 

  • Focus on your goal and imagine how you’re gonna achieve it, how you’re gonna feel and how proud you will be. Make it as clear as possible. Write it down in your journal if you want. Visualize every single detail. If your goal isn’t clear, it’s ok! You can still think about how you can improve your life or how you can work on just loving yourself more. And don’t be afraid to think big.
  • Practice positive affirmations. This one will be hard in the beginning because we all are used to focus on the things we don’t have, or the habits we want to get rid of, but we never pay attention to what we already have or why we really want success. Instead of thinking “I want to stop biting my nails so I won’t be ashamed of them” think “I’ll be so proud of myself if I stop biting my nails and I’ll feel more confident!”. Trust me, it makes ALL the difference.
  • Practice gratitude. You have no idea about the positive impact it has. If you struggle with this, try to make a list of at least 5 things you are grateful for every night before going to bed. Write it in a journal or just think about it for a moment. There’s no “wrong” way to practice gratitude. You can be grateful for the pizza you had today, or your cat. It just has to be positive.
  • Get some inspiration. Read a new book or look for some videos that inspire you. Get closer to people you admire. Inspiration is so important because it allows you to get a better view of what you want to become. I really started changing my mindset the first time I read “You Are a Badass” by Jen Sincero. It has been so eye-opening to me that I started practicing more and more positive actions ! I also found TED Talks to be really helpful for me!! 
  • Judge less. I know, we’re all humans. We all judge and it’s totally normal to do so. However, we can modify our judgment towards a lot of situations : whenever you notice yourself judging something or someone, take a step back and think why you are doing so, it’ll help you to see clearer and you’ll let more space for love. You don’t know what’s behind the people you’re judging and it doesn’t help you to reach your goal. Use this energy to work on yourself instead.
  • Stop comparing yourself. Don’t stop because you think you’ll never be enough. You don’t know what the others are going through, you don’t even know what they are thinking. I remember in my first med school year that I was constantly focusing on what the others were doing and comparing it to what I was working on instead. I spent so much energy doing so instead of studying that it made me fail my exams. And you know what the funniest part is? That the people I valued better than me failed their exams too. This definitely changed my vision! The next year I only focused on myself and on my own study methods and I passed all my exams :) 
  • Start where you are and celebrate small victories : you’ve been feeling like crap and all you did was taking a shower? It’s fine. You took care of yourself. Be happy about it. Be grateful to be able to do so. Don’t wait for the right moment to start something because the truth is that there’s no right moment and that you’ll never really be ready. Success is more about the journey than the destination. Always remember that.
  • Stay true to yourself. Don’t seek perfection but start loving every part of yourself instead. Don’t apologize for being authentic because it will allow you to understand what truly matters to you in every situation. Being your own self will also help you focus on your goal and not letting distractions around. You’ll gain confidence as you’ll know what works best for you and you’ll be able to let go of negative things in your life.
  • Also, don’t apologize for your success and your abundance. You are worth it. You’ve always been. 

I hope these tips will help you to reach your goals! You deserve to be happy and successful!

Margot X

STUDYGRAM

Be happy for people. Especially the ones you love. No one is taking what is yours, whatever they have is theirs. The things that are meant for you, find you. Work to find them by all means. But jealousy will never bring you something that isn’t meant for you, nothing will x

How I am making the best of my education!

I see lots of people asking how to be successful in college. I thought I’d make a post to throw everyone my 2 cents–though no one asked for it. It’s free money though. Who doesn’t want it?

1) Figure out your learning style. If you google VARK learning profile, there’s a great quiz you can take with study techniques based on your results. We actually use this quiz at the tutoring center at my college. You’d be surprised how many students come specifically for help figuring out how to study.

2) Keep a planner. Or a bullet journal. Or use google calendar. I even know someone who carries around a full size 18 month calendar folded up in her backpack (and she’s a professor). Just find something and WRITE EVERY SINGLE ASSIGNMENT DOWN IN IT. EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU’LL REMEMBER IT, THERE’S A CHANCE YOU WON’T. DON’T TAKE THAT CHANCE.

3) Try to make a personal timetable and stick to it! This kind of goes along with the planner point, but it is different. It takes lots of discipline to block off and actually study during study times, but you’ll be thanking yourself later when you’ve finished your homework and can actually get to bed at a reasonable hour. In addition to studying, homework, and classes; also block off time for eating, possible times for napping (if you take them), and extracurriculars. If you can’t find adequate time for things, maybe you should consider dropping a class or an activity for the semester.

4) Make a to-do list every day. I personally use sticky notes and stick them to the page of my planner. This helps me remember things that are school related, but also other things, like appointments, social gatherings, research stuff, and family events (since I live at home and commute to school). Yeah, it’s important to remember school stuff, but the other stuff you’ve gotta get done, like laundry and social time, is JUST AS IMPORTANT.

5) Don’t neglect your health! I cannot stress this point enough!! If you aren’t eating enough, sleeping enough, or spending enough time relaxing, you will burn out very very quickly. You think it won’t happen to you, but it will. I thought I was immune to burnout, but after a month of intermittent and inadequate sleep and nutrition–I really figured out that I was SO wrong. I ended up missing an entire day of class towards the end of the semester (plus missed a lab the next day because my professor sent me home) because I just couldn’t make myself do any more stuff. It could have been much worse, but I was lucky. I used those days to rest up and returned to my classes ready to finish out the semester strong. College is hard enough to do with no mental health conditions. If you have one, and even if you don’t, be extra sure that you are taking care of yourself. YOU come before EVERYTHING ELSE. Nothing is more important than you. If you have to, ask people to check up on you. Ask a friend to check in with you, or your RA, or even your parents. They won’t mind. Your RA really does want to help you.

6) Study smart, not hard. Sometimes, studying just isn’t worth it. If it’s been half an hour and you just CANNOT FOCUS and feel like you’ve learned nothing: go outside, do some homework, do some laundry, or even just switch the topic you’re studying. If you’re trying to study the right way and you can’t make yourself do it, just find something else productive to do. Come back in another 15 minutes and try again. It happens to all of us. Also, if you’re studying for hours at a time with no breaks, it leads to burnout super quick. I have friends who do that and I don’t understand why. They’re so miserable about studying. It doesn’t have to be terrible! If you take the 25 minutes on, 5 minutes off approach, studying becomes less terrible, because you know there’s an end in sight. Plus, the 5 minutes off gives your brain a little time to process what you’re learning. That said, try to study what you learned in class that day a few hours after class. Material is so much easier to learn this way! Don’t save it for the night before your exam. Cramming rarely helps. Don’t let other people fool you–studying doesn’t have to be something out of your worst nightmare.

7) Find professors who inspire you. I always love a subject more when the professor makes it exciting. Luckily in college, it’s a lot easier to find those kinds of teachers–those who genuinely love what they do. I never would have gotten interested in math without my stats professor (who actually taught me how to integrate, bless her heart), and my proofs professor, who basically let me live in her office last semester (i.e. I like doing my homework with help 5 feet away because I always have so many questions). Find the professors who want to help you. They exist.  

8) Make connections with them! Show up to office hours. Ask them questions you had from lecture. If it’s not a rushed, busy time for them, ask how they got interested in their subject; ask them about what they study–they’ll totally explain it to you like you’re a 5 year old, so don’t worry. In my experience, I have found that professors really like to connect with students. Maybe I’ve just been really lucky. Making connections is easier to do at a smaller school, or within a smaller major–but you never know what will come out of a few questions! Maybe you’ll find a research advisor, or someone you could TA for. I am friendly (and even friends) with so many of my professors just because I’m a curious person. I ask them questions about their experiences in academia, and just general stuff (believe it or not, the decorations they have in their office often lead to some cool conversations). In turn, they’re usually curious about me too. They ask me about what I’m interested in, if I need a reference letter for anything, and even just about my life in general. I know I can ask them for advice on applying to grad school, any problems I’m having with lecture material, and sometimes even general advice. For me, it’s just comforting to know that I have some people on my side who have been through college (especially if you’re like me and 17 or 18, fresh out of high school). Also, they know what you should do if you accidentally miss a final exam (like I did my first semester).

9) This is for all my math, science, tech, and engineering people out there–and people taking those classes! It also applies to other majors to maybe not as great an extent. Don’t get frustrated if you come across a problem you can’t solve.  If you can’t figure it out and have spent a chunk of time on it, move on and go back to it at the end. If you still can’t quite get it, try to go to office hours for help! You are not stupid for not being able to arrive at an answer. When you can’t figure something out, you might just be missing the most crucial piece of the puzzle you need to solve it! Don’t think “Wow I’m such an idiot” (don’t be like me basically), think “what am I missing here?” Think about it. See if you arrive at any conclusions. If not, go find someone to help you. If you find that you’re struggling with a majority of the questions, consider getting a tutor. Tutoring should be offered by your school for either very little or no charge at all. Take advantage! Tutors don’t know everything, but they sure can get your thought process on the right track! I’m a tutor and believe me–it really does help.

10) Find study buddies! My study buddies have become my best friends. We all share a love of biology, and it really brings us together. We love hiking together, and commiserating when it feels necessary. Plus, we make studying fun! If you have trouble making friends (I know I really struggle), start a study group. It’s really a great way to make connections with other people in your major, or even people outside your major.

I hope this helps! Good luck in the fall to any of you kids who are just starting college–and happy studying!

How to upgrade your workspace

I decided to write about this topic because I firmly believe that a cleaned and organized workspace is so important for increasing your attention and keeping you focused.

When I was in my lasts years of high school my bedroom was such a mess and there were tons of objects and books and papers all over my desk I could barely see what was under. For this main reason, I was always using the kitchen table, which is quite practical if you’re living alone but absolutely not if you still live with your parents!

That’s why I decided to change things up when I started uni! Here is a list of what I actually did : 

Step 1 - The cleaning :

  • De-clutter: minimalists favorite word! Even if I’m not a real one, I promise you that getting rid of unused and old stuff will really help you getting more space for that « abundance » you want in your life ; in other terms, ask yourself this question : will that old box full of stuff you don’t use anymore help you to be more successful? If not, throw it away!
  • Switch it up! : sometimes you just need to change the actual organization of your desk and/or your whole bedroom! Why not put your bed where your desk is? You’ll get a whole new vision of your bedroom/workspace and you’ll actually feel more motivated and spend more time in it!
  • Clean : yes. Take all your stuff off of your desk and deeply clean it! You have no idea of how much little germs live up there! Make sure you also clean your computer keypad. You’ll thank me later. Note that this one can be combined with the de-cluttering point.

Once you’ve thrown away some useless stuff and once your desk is all cleaned up and smells fresh again, you can start thinking about decoration  :D

Step 2 - The decor :

This is by far my favorite part. Yes, you can re-decorate your workspace with little money, and no, you don’t need to buy fancy stuff just because it’ll look good on your tumblr. Remember : less is more.

Style it as you want it, choose what makes you feel happy! Here are a few examples of what you can buy/create/recycle :  

  • Lightning. SO. IMPORTANT. First, you need a good lamp for when you study in the dark. Then, you can add for example light strings or other kinds of decorative lightning just to get you in the warm&cozy kind of vibe :)
  • Storage and organizers. Choose in function of what you need and what feels best for you! You can use desk organizers, wall racks, etc. A good investment would also be a chest drawer for you to store all the stuff you don’t need immediately. For example, I bought one of these at IKEA and in there I put all the pencils and stationery I don’t use, old chargers, tickets, sticky-notes, etc. I think it can also help you de-cluttering your desk so you have much more space on it!
  • Candles. Super cozy and relaxing. Did you know that when you study with a certain smell around you and then you smell it again in another situation you actually remember what you learned previously? It’s the same principle as when you smell a certain odor and it reminds you of some old memories!
  • Plants. They look cute but also give you this kind of « zen » vibe that I personally love! If like me you aren’t a born-to-be botanist, I would suggest for you to get succulents or cactuses or even those fake plants they sell at IKEA, they actually look pretty realistic ahah
  • A vision board. Vision boards are a great way to keep you inspired and motivated! Search for pics and quotes that you like and that inspire you on the web, print them and hang them on ! You can find tons of ideas of DIY inspiration boards on Pinterest :)  For example, I put my vision board on the wall just upon my desk so I can actually see it every time i’m studying! Vision boards are a really great tool if you’re practicing law of attraction too!

So that’s it! I hope it helped :) You can also tell me what you like to do when organizing your desk/workspace! 

Have a nice day, 

Margot X

People are going to laugh at you when you tell them what you want to do in life and they’re going to try to tell you to be realistic. Let them think whatever the hell they want because anyone is capable of anything. If you don’t believe you can do something, you can’t. Believe in yourself, have faith, be dedicated and always keep your expectations of yourself higher than other peoples because yours are the only ones that matter. I believe in you but more than that I hope you believe in yourself.

Failure and success live next door to each other, and they have no numbers at the door. You just knock.
—  Guillermo Del Toro
Back to school series #2 - HOW TO BE DISCIPLINED

Welcome to this new post of my #backtoschoolseries!! if you haven’t already checked my last back-to-school related post you can do it here :D

The main topic of this post is discipline and how you can learn to manage it. When I was repeating my first med school year I learned how to discipline myself and it let me have a life apart from my studies. I used to wake up every day at 5.45 am for my morning workout, go to uni, come back home and study, cook my meals and go to bed early enough. I was also able to spend some free time with my friends and family during the weekends. This routine helped me manage my time, gave me a sense of accomplishment and made me go to bed almost every day knowing I had my sh*t together. 

So how did I manage to develop this busy routine AND pass my first year? Continue to read! 

  • Know the difference between motivation and self-discipline. Motivation is what will get you started, and is powered by your WHY. WHY do you want to go to college? WHY do you want to lose 10 pounds? WHY do you want to run a marathon? All of the answers to these questions are the main motor of your motivation. And motivation is the motor of discipline. Discipline is what will make you study every day so you’ll have those grades that will make you get into the college of your dreams. Discipline is what will make you wake up at 6 am every morning to go for a run. In other terms, discipline is what you need in order to keep going and stay on track. Discipline can’t exist without motivation and motivation is nothing without discipline. 
  • We all practice discipline is some aspects of our life. For some of us, it will be waking up every morning at a reasonable hour in order to not be late for school. For others, it will be taking their medication every day in order to stay healthy. So stop telling yourself you don’t have any discipline or willpower because you won’t even be reading this post otherwise.
  • Discipline is a skill, and like every other skill, it has to be practiced every day. You have to put effort and focus in what you want to achieve and sometimes you’ll have to literally force yourself to get things done. Like I said in my previous post about motivation, no one really wants to wake up at 6 every morning to do a workout, especially if it’s dark and cold outside, and that your bed is begging you to stay.
  • Know yourself, and know what your weaknesses are. When you acknowledge these, you can find strategies to overcome them. If you want to go to bed earlier but you’re always on your phone till late at night, try to force yourself to put your phone in another room when you go to bed. If you’re always distracted by your Instagram notifications whilst studying, put your phone in airplane mode, or delete the app from it. If you just can’t control yourself over junk food, just don’t buy it. Remove every temptation so you’ll only focus on what’s important.
  • Plan your days ahead and plan your future. Again, ask yourself WHY you want to be disciplined, and WHAT the willpower you want to develop will bring into your life. The advantages of you being more disciplined have to overcome the reasons why you shouldn’t be, and that’s how motivation comes in the way.
  • Know that sometimes sh*t happens. That’s why you need a plan B. Having a backup plan doesn’t mean you don’t believe in your dreams, it just means that you are some kind of realistic about life and you know that it doesn’t always go as you wished it would. Having a plan B will make everything a bit more flexible and you’ll feel less anxious about your goals.
  • If you’re trying but you just can’t find any willpower in what you want to do, ask yourself if there’s something that’s preventing you from being disciplined. Are you sure you’re doing whatever you’re doing because you want it? Or are you doing it to please someone else? Are you scared of the outcome? Do you feel something is going wrong? It’s really important for you to have this little talk with yourself so you can focus on what you really want in your life because when your goals are genuine and clear, motivation comes by itself and discipline will follow. 
  • Remember that it’s ok to screw up sometimes. You are not a robot and it is totally normal to have days where you don’t feel like it. Resting is also part of the process and will help you clear your vision and regain all the precious energy you need :) Forgive and take care of yourself!


I honestly think this post should be related to my post about motivation (if you haven’t read it already, I invite you to do it now!) 

As usual, I hope these tips will be useful! I’m curious to know how do you guys practice discipline :) 

(PS : sorry for my english)

Studygram 

Manifestation really truly works, you have to repeatedly tell yourself that you will achieve the desired goal, that you’re already on your way to doing so. Write it down, think about it first thing when you wake up and the last thing before you go to bed. Every opportunity you get to do something, no matter how small, that could contribute to achieving these goals- do it! Change lays in your daily routine, make small changes for big results. You really can do and have anything you set your mind to!

Don’t forget that you deserve as much as everyone else to be successful and that you are awesome the way you are

I’ve always been kind of clumsy. I was that little girl who always ended up being super awkward and thus ashamed of it.

I’ve been called stupid for laughing at pointless things during class. I’ve had professors who told me that I « wore too much mascara and that it was ugly » in front of the whole class.

I had friends that stopped talking to me because I wasn’t as fancy as the other people in my school and because I wasn’t wearing those « super trendy » Juicy Couture velour joggings during sports class. I was only 14 at the time.

When I started my first year of med school - which is the selective year here in Switzerland- I had people telling me that I was showing off too much and therefore I would never become a Doctor just because I had my hair and makeup done every morning when I showed up to uni at 6:30 am in order to get the first row seats for the morning courses.

I had people telling me that I was « too pretty » to become a Doctor. I had people telling me that if I was too feminine, the patients would think I’m a Nurse instead of a Doctor (with all my respect for Nurses, who do an AWESOME job!).

Even if I didn’t show it, all those remarks really broke my heart. I spent so many nights crying and asking myself if I was good enough, smart enough or even if I just deserved to be where I wanted to be. Every night I was sweating to the point I had to change my sheets, I lost 6 kgs despite it wasn’t my wish, I barely talked to people other than my family or boyfriend.

But I kept going. Despite all the insults, all the implicit remarks, and how ashamed I used to feel.

Deep down I knew that passing that year was my goal. That being the best doctor I could ever be was my dream job. Every time I had someone telling me something about the way I looked or the way I behaved, I would show up the next day, with my hair and makeup done, wearing my boots whose heels made that « clic-clac » sound every time I stepped a foot on the floor. 

And of course, it didn’t really stop people from saying things behind my back.

I studied twice more than I used to, I knew all my notes by heart, I passed from the one whom never understood anything about physics to the one who could explain easily magnetism laws and principles to the few colleagues I had.

I passed that first year, passed that exam where 80% of the others -people who were talking behind my back included- failed. I was so proud of myself.

What I learned during all these years and especially during this first med school year, was to believe in my self - in my capacities, in my knowledge and my willpower- despite all the negative crap I kept hearing.

I learned that if people were rude to me it was because of how they felt about themselves.

I learned that, if you really want something, you’ll manage to get it, no matter what. Because I am awesome the way I am.

Side note : I’m not victimizing myself AT ALL, I always felt like this experience helped me grow as a person and is part of who I am now  :)

blog : https://anatomyandcappuccini.tumblr.com