how you say things

“Sometimes, I hate it when people ignore heterosexual ships and think that same sex ships are better because they’re not a ‘boring straight ship’ unless it involves Reader Inserts.”

Tumblr has a rather “other” mindset in concerns to sexuality and gender which is pretty damn disgusting.

People shouldn’t give a damn if the couple is straight, gay, involves a bisexual, asexual, or pansexual person, or is m|f, m|m or f|f - if it’s good, it’s good and if it’s shit, it’s shit. No amount of “ZOMG REPRESSENTATION!1! UR JUST A WHINY STRAIGHTIE ENFORCING HETERO CULTURE, EWW! STAY AWAY AGGRESSIVELY HET!1!” screaming will ever change that.

If a story sucks and characters suck, or interpretations have no substance and thus suck, it still sucks.

- Mod V

Honestly one of the most realistic things about Wonder Woman was when Diana was trying to convince the amazons to save the humans and end the war she said excuse me to Hipolytta when she interrupted and “forgive me, senator” like only between women would a conversation like this be so polite

If only it was that easy, Susan…


Chaotic Good Tiefling Paladin

So I’m running my game as usual, and for this session, the party was mugged on the side of the road and had to chase the thieves into a thick forest to their hidden fortress.
After a long period of nothing but falling into pitfall traps around the perimeter and finally breaking into the walls of the fortress without being caught.
My paladin, in an angry huff, goes over to the front door, but after rolling a perception check, realizes it’s painted on:

“I roll to lick the painting.”


“I’m gonna roll to lick the painting.
I got a 3, what happens?”

“You lick the painting. It tastes of forest berries…”


“…and nightshade.”

“OH NO.”

“You become severely intoxicated.”

At that point, our paladin, in a woozy rage, breaks a window, climbs through it, tromps on to the mess hall where the thieves are celebrating their newest haul.
With absolutely no hesitation, he busts through the door (FILLED WITH 37 THEIVES AND THE TWO MAIN BOSSES) and yells “I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!”

Of course a fight ensues with the party in tow, our rogue ends up beheading one of the bosses.
At the conclusion of the fight, our (still slightly intoxicated) paladin grabs the bleeding severed head and *SHOVES IT INTO HER HUSBAND’S (the other boss’s) FACE*, Screaming “IT’S YOUR FAULT THIS HAPPENED, NOW REPENT, O SINNER!”

So yeah.

That’s my party’s paladin.

  • Hufflepuff: I've planned out our day, and I think it's going to be a lot if fun!
  • Ravenclaw: I want to go to the aquarium.
  • Hufflepuff: That's not on my planner...
  • Ravenclaw: But I want to learn about the jellyfish and how they eat.
  • Hufflepuff: Maybe another day?
  • Ravenclaw: And you can pet the stingrays.
  • Hufflepuff: Okay, let's go pet some stingrays.

Bard: It’s not stealing if it’s for good.

Paladin: Okay, before we move on, this is a rare chance to get a moral lesson. Yes, this is stealing. But the world is not black and white. There is grey and this is one of those grey area -

Druid (Interrupting): I’m with Bard, we’re stealing the baby.

  • [during sex]
  • Hinata: NARUTO!
  • Naruto: SASUKE!
  • Hinata: ...
  • Naruto: ...
  • Hinata: ...
  • Naruto: I can explain
  • Naruto: It's a habit
  • Hinata: What?
  • Naruto: No, wait. What I mean is- the only person who shouts my name like that is Sasuke and I usually shout his name too, like, when we fight
  • Hinata: Why?
  • Naruto: I don't know. It's kind of our thing. We've been doing it for years.
  • Naruto: Well, not doing IT, you know, not like we just did. But that name thing, 'it.' I'm not in love with him, I swear! At least, not the same way I'm in love with you.
  • Hinata: Naruto
  • Naruto: I mean, we only kissed once, and it was totally an accident.
  • Hinata: Naruto
  • Naruto: Or, twice, unless you count that other time-
  • Hinata: NARUTO!
  • Naruto: SASUK- Hinata, I meant to say Hinata, see? It's like a reflex.
  • Hinata: Go sleep on the couch while I think about this relationship.
  • Naruto: Fine, but can I ask you something?
  • Hinata: *hopeful* Yes?
  • Naruto: By 'this relationship,' did you mean yours and mine or mine and Sasuke's?
  • Hinata: Get out.
Pop and Wedlock

Same Campaign as Mother of (No) Mercy.

As the group of seven, irl 5 kids (8-14) and their (40s) parents goes further into the jungle, they are ambushed by a tribe of Cliffwalk Shifters. Everyone but the Monk fails their diplomacy check, so while the tribe lets them stay in their camp that night, they weren’t too friendly towards the party.

Now I like to get the players invested in the world as much as I can, so that night, the Shifters engaged in a tribal dance around a fire with a cool thing happening at the end. I’d rolled for the 4 Shifters dancing and the best got a 19 on his performance check. With no bard in the party, I expected the characters to just watch and learn some culture.

I did not expect the Dragonborn Paladin to try to redeem himself on the dance floor.

Paladin OOC: I’m gonna try to dance as best I can to make these people like me.

Me, surprised: Uh, sure. Roll performance.

*Nat 20*

The table roars and I feel the blood drain from my face.

Me: Ok, so all of you watch as your Dragonborn friend, known for his enforcement of justice and valor, absolutely kill it on the dance floor.

Rogue: Woo, you go Tornader!

Me: The Shifters are awestruck by the performance. After a moment of talking, a young and beautiful Shifter run out of a tent and straight up to Tornader. Before any of you can react, she kisses him passionately.

Paladin OOC: What’s happening?

Me, as the Shifter chief: Well done, scaled one. For your incredible performance in our ceremonial dance, you have won the hand of my daughter, Nutmeg, and are now a part of our tribe. Though we do not know the final place of the Journey Yet to Come, I am pleased to say you shall walk it together as Husband and Wife. Congratulations, my son.

Let me tell you, the look of horror that plays out on a 10 year old’s face when he finds out he has a wife to come home to is priceless. They are still married to this day, as he doesn’t think it would look good if a Paladin went through a divorce.

how is it that everyone’s best friend is an asshole?? statistically speaking, there should be some best friends out there who are not huge jerks

“I’ll protect you… no matter what” 

Ravenclaw Headcanon

When someone in the class asks if anyone has a spare quill, the ravenclaws are always the ones with five or six, but don’t give them out, because what if they don’t give them back?