how will i say goodbye

I place a high value on loyalty. Once you are my friend, there is a very, very short list of things that will get me to sever that relationship. 

That loyalty is tricky to manage when I have friends who do not get along, but typically, people respect the fact that I am friends with both sides and do not attempt to draw me into the conflict. 

So when my words are used by one friend in an argument against one of my other friends, well, that’s one of those things on the very, very short list. That’s worse than forcing me to take sides, because I had no say in how my words were used.

I don’t like saying goodbye to people I once considered friends. But when I’m put in a position where staying silent implies I agree with how other friends are being treated, I will choose a side. 

Why do you have to say goodbye?

You have taught me to rise up, to know myself true to my skin color, true to my sexuality, true to my religion, my birthplace, my mother country.

You have taught me that a presidency is only good if you make it so. If you believe in the good of the American people and give them the means to be their best selves, and that is what makes you great.

Teach me how to say goodbye.

Listen I am so here for platonic “I love you"s. I don’t care if you think "I love you” is some sacred phrase to only utter to one person in your life, i don’t care if you think it makes me look overbearing. I say “I love you” to my friends every time I say goodbye because I want them to know 100% without a doubt that I care for them and love them and am there for them so so much.

a softer world sentence starters.
  • ❛ some people are so good at disappearing that you start to doubt your memories that they were ever there. ❜ 
  • ❛ how do you say goodbye to someone who was never there? ❜
  • ❛ i don’t want a world without pain, or loss. i just want them to mean something. ❜
  • ❛ there are some people who believe a photo captures their soul. ❜
  • ❛ if you love something let it go. ❜
  • ❛ you were not the first, you will not be the last. ❜
  • ❛ there are some secrets i will take to my grave, but i don’t want loving you to be one of them. ❜
  • ❛ you can still back out before anyone gets hurt. ❜
  • ❛ i said i’d love you forever, and really meant it at the time. i guess that’s my problem. ❜
  • ❛ kindness won’t save anyone. ❜
  • ❛ for a long time i thought i deserved better. but the truth is we both deserve better than this. ❜
  • ❛ i wish there was a word that meant “goodbye” for someone who was already gone. ❜
  • ❛ i never meant to hurt you. you have to believe me. ❜
  • ❛ we’ll always have yesterday. ❜
  • ❛ hope softens the rough edge of every promise. ❜
  • ❛ love is stupid. happiness is admitting we aren’t better than stupid. ❜
  • ❛ you can’t always want what you get. ❜
  • ❛ i wish i had a dollar for every dollar’s worth of work i did. ❜
  • ❛ we are empty inside and hollow. hoping something sweet will make its nest in us. ❜
  • ❛ we’re too far from help. ❜
  • ❛ monsters are even more scary when you see them afraid. ❜
  • ❛ we carry our own loneliness with us. ❜ 
  • ❛ fake happiness beats genuine misery. ❜
  • ❛ they always trust me to be someone who i don’t even want to be. ❜
  • ❛ i cannot see where i want to go, only that i want the going.❜
  • ❛ you are never here. you are always almost there. ❜
  • ❛ you and me will die the way we lived, telling ourselves stories to make it mean something. ❜

i.
you were my anchor but now I need to learn how to stay steady without you. when night hits i hit back harder. when morning gets here I’m bruised and aching but I’m still here so it counts it counts it counts.

ii.
every time I have a dream about you, I wake up crying. last night you loved me and the night before you didn’t. once you told me you had a dream we were together and I still think about that, but only when I’m trying to convince myself you were good, too.

iii.
i’ve never known how to say goodbye so I keep saying hello but you don’t want to hear it anymore so I’ve stopped calling. the cards are in your hands and if I were you I’d throw the deck but this was never my decision it was always yours and you made that pretty clear when you chose her.

iv.
i’m not petty I’m just tired. its okay and it’s not. every song hurts but so does silence. i keep trying to wake up but the punches aren’t landing. nothing is impacting.

v.
nothing is impacting.

—  can’t get a grip can’t get better– lily rain

Fond Farewell

My dear friend @cahlac moved back to Brazil about a month ago, and I had drawn this for her as a goodbye present. can’t lose with gay art  I forgot that I coloured it, and thusly never posted it! 

It felt weird saying goodbye for an indeterminate amount of time - more so than usual. She’s a dear, and I miss having her around. 

In 2016 I had to learn how to say goodbye. Goodbye to people. Goodbye to circumstances. Goodbye to what I was use to; a certain way of being and doing things. Goodbye to my comfort zone. Goodbye to thinking I could control life, instead of going with the flow and trusting in Gods plan for me. Goodbye to old wounds. Goodbye to the story of sorrow we tell ourselves. Goodbye to thinking I always know best. Goodbye to not letting anyone in, to instead being emotionally open, no matter how terrifying vulnerability is. Goodbye to useless and selfish desires. Goodbye to mental isolation, the imprisonment of our own mind. Goodbye to the internal world I was drowning in. And finally the last lesson of all, I had to learn how to say goodbye to the good old loyal companion that never left. I said my final goodbye to pain.

”‘Could I- could I say goodbye to him, sir?’ asked Hagrid.

He bent his great, shaggy head over Harry and gave him what must have been a very scratchy,whiskery kiss. Then, suddenly, Hagrid let out a howl like a wounded dog.”

                                    -Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, page 17

The signs as Winnie the Pooh quotes
  • Aries: "As soon as I saw you, I knew an adventure was going to happen."
  • Taurus: "You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes."
  • Gemini: "We'll be friends forever, won't we, Pooh?" asked Piglet. "Even longer." Pooh answered.
  • Cancer: "If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever."
  • Leo: "If you live to be 100, I want to live to be 100 minus 1 day so I would never have to live a day without you."
  • Virgo: "I used to believe in forever, but now I think forever is too short."
  • Libra: "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."
  • Scorpio: "The important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you."
  • Sagittarius: "Life is a journey to be experienced, not a problem to be solved."
  • Capricorn: "Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart."
  • Aquarius: "Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
  • Pisces: "I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can be together all the time."
  • -A.A. Milne