how will i be able to talk to you

thegeniuses09  asked:

How do you learn Korean?

i make notes!!(too vague yes)

for now i’m mostly making notes on grammar rules and vocabulary lists :) if you want to be able to listen to conversations/understand what’s going on in songs,dramas etc. then it’s good to improve your vocabulary first :D

here are some resources I find helpful:

Talk to Me in Korean —– http://talktomeinkorean.com/

what they have:
youtube, podcasts

they frequently do videos on day-to-day topics such as clothes, laundry, buying things, valentine’s day etc. so they’re really helpful in improving little bits and bobs of your vocabulary!! :)

they also have physical textbooks and online PDF files, voice recordings, video courses and it’s all free omg I was super happy when I found it tbh 10/10 would recommend

How to Study Korean —– https://www.howtostudykorean.com/,

units and curriculums, vocabulary lists

they’re sort of similar to talktomeinkorean in the way that they have a curriculum planned out from easy to difficult, and recordings, except some of their resources (mostly worksheets and vocabulary lists) require payment :0

at the start of each chapter though they have a few vocabulary lists so I do often take those words down

I’d say this is more brief and on the go as compared to talktomeinkorean, and there aren’t too many ‘compartments’? so you don’t have to keep clicking around haha like there’s more content on one page

Korean Frequency List -Top 6000 Words —– https://www.topikguide.com/korean-frequency-list-top-6000-words/

as the title suggests haha 

the above two don’t exactly have compiled vocabulary lists (at least from what i’ve encountered on the website, i may be wrong so do try and find them for yourself maybe) so I think this is a good compilation of vocabulary words you might find useful :)

these are the good stuff I can come up with right now off the tip of my tongue hmm, it’s a short list but it’s resource-rich >:o

hope this helps in some way!!

A couple weeks ago I was talking to my husband about how I’m very upset that after everything he put us through, I still feel a little bit of loss when I think about my dad. I just want to be so angry at him and relived that we got away from him, but part of me still feels a loss. And I hate it so much. Sometimes it makes me hate myself

But my husband said “I think that’s normal. You were supposed to be able to count on him and trust him. He was always supposed to be there for you and raise you. I don’t think you miss him, I think you miss the person he was supposed to be for you” and I kind of just sobbed because that’s probably true. I have no idea what it’s like to have a real dad. I just have traumatic memories and hate and anger and bitterness and psychological damage.

Me: Today was an emotional roller coaster, I’m so emotionally drained, I’m gonna go to bed at 8pm, that way I get to sleep all the way until 9am!

Brain: Okay, I’ll wake you up at 2am

dolliestars  asked:

talk abt your gf !

omg yes…. my fav thing to ever talk abt.

so.. my girlfriend is the best human to ever exist tbh? shes so ambitious, smart, educated, funny, sarcastic, loving, caring aND JUST PERFECT.

she is able to talk about the same topic all over again without boring me, she makes everything exciting and shes so adventurous. like honestly, my girlfriend could talk about her love for cats the whole time and i will be like WOW BABE UR SO SMART AND SO COOL and completely forget the time.

shes a very good driver tho, like? she drove me 24h with only one 1h nap around and was still able to drive perfectly like how are you doin that? and nothing is annoyin her??? like i talk all the time or nap and then randomly get scared and ugh im awful.

she is so beautiful. she has such soft hair which perfectly rames her face, her eyes are so light and blue, it is like directly lookin into the sky and she has such a cute button nose with tiny little freckles on them and i want to count all of them. sometimes i honestly can not stop staring and smiling at her, it is kind of embarassing but she is so handsome and lookin at her makes me feel safe.

she is so caring and super invested into making me happy. and so creative? she wakes up early to bring me my fav food or drinks, she plays with my hair until i can breathe properly again, she orders food for me, she holds my hand and lets me squeeze it hard when i get anxious, she drove me to 7 different mcdonalds stores in 5 cities bc i was so hungry, she took me to abandonded buildings bc i wanted to so badly and took me at 10pm to an old haunted psych ward and visited the local cemetery with me and then took me out again and etc etc etc TO BE CONTINUED BUT IM TOO LAZY ughh.

she is such a gem, she always wears black and skates and she is such an angel. she goes to a lot of concerts and festivals and when i am sad, she sends me a lot of puppy pictures or memes to make me happy. AND SHE SMELLS SO GOOD???? she smells like fresh laundry that got blessed with sweet vanilla and ughh hsxksks i spend all day smellin my gf shes so perfect

she is so intrumental and talented and artistic, and her voice is so ! pretty ! soft ! calming ! stab me tf away! and her skin is so soft oh god and she has the comfiest lap on earth and she always has warm hands and :( we are so petty and shady tho its awful dude……………

sleeping on top of her is so good, sometimes her heart beat gets so fast (especially when i get close to her neck with my lips) and it is so cute. i love layin on her chest to tell her all the the things i love and admire about her and when she says that she has the best gf i get so confused bc uhm ? who is she ? last time i checked im a cockroach ???

her music taste is so good :( we listen to the same bands and shes my best friend? like we literally talk about everything and i never feel ashamed for tellin her things that would make me uncomfortable talkin about with other people.

sometimes i cant even realise that i got blessed with her? we either eat the entire day together (my gf always makes sure i had a proper meal bc i forget to eat a lot) and we go to ikea and all of our conversations end with “i love u baby” and when she calls me baby i melt inside… im like… bye world… God Is Real? and she teases me so much about my bubble gum addiction bc i do not chew it, i eat it?? and i cant stop?? i just eat it like its food. and shes teasin me sm for bein so clumsy its so cute. we also stargaze a lot and always point at stars or the moon like? our sexuality is the night sky???

and we have so many inside jokes it is so awful like sometimes i end up tellin them other ppl and they dont understand them and i die inside bc me and my gf would be weak asf and cry bc we legit think we are the funniest ppl out there hbshsklsks and she always tells me how pretty i am! like im casually eatin a donut and shes like “ur so pretty baby” and im likfe stfu! i love u! dont make me drop my food bc im so excited!

my gf is also such a scorpio, shes rlly cold to other ppl, but has such a soft spot for me and only me :’) and we are goin to be kitty parents soon! we are goin to adopt a kitty and act like we are parents, we are awful but nobody is stoppin us. and no straight person is goin to stop me from showin pda to my gf!!! no het woman that is with her child at the toy store that my gf gave me a piggyback ride in like no hets sorry yall.

like i am really grateful that i have my girlfriend, she is such a kind and lovely soul and i do not think that i deserve her, she is so charming and hot and i always wonder how someone as perfect as her…. is in a relationship with me….. im literally shrek :( AND IT IS SO DIFFICULT TO ACT LIKE IM NOT TICKLISH WHEN SHE TICKLES ME BC I WANNA BE TOUGH AND COOL BUT THEN I START TO GIGGLE AND I HAVE TO FORCE HER TO WALK IN FRONT OF ME OR GO ON DISTANCE BC MY TUMMY IS UNABLE TO HANDLE THIS

i know shes never goin to see this but she also ruined my life bc she got me addicted to orange is the new black smh BUT YES I FUCKIN LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND I LOVE HER SO SO MUCH ITS AWFUL IDC IF MY FAMILY WILL DISOWN ME YALL CAN PRAY TO ALLAH WHILE IM HAVIN FUN AND ADVENTURES WITH MY GF

a note from kaitlyn

hello, lovely people. i just wanted to say that amidst all this crazy drama, i am so thankful to every one of you who has either liked, reblogged, or commented on APWOA. i really didn’t expect it to start off so well and i’m honored that you all like it so much. i also wanted to thank everyone who has followed me since this morning. i went from ~50 to 84 today. i have no words to express how thankful i am for your love and support.

a couple of shout-outs, just for the sake of it:

@kalendraashtar for the signal boost and kind words, you are such a sweet soul! also @gotham-ruaidh , i look up to both of you so much and the fact that i’ve been able to talk to you and hear your thoughts has been extremely overwhelming to me. i feel like i’m living in a dream.

@internallydeceased for being my fellow teen and also just being overall amazing, thank you for being your kind self. 

and, of course, everyone reading this. i truly have no words to express my feelings right now. i am full of joy.

ALSO, while it’s on my mind: 

APWOA takes place during the 1910′s, right before World War ONE (I). a couple of people said it was WWII, so i wanted to clarify that. i hadn’t read anything from that time period yet, and really wanted to delve in and explore it. 

all in all, i am so full of love and thanks tonight, despite the bit of drama. thank you all so so so much, from the bottom of my heart. 💕

Kaitlyn

anonymous asked:

this is probably an odd ask.but i was wondering how do you deal with jealous when you like know the reason you are being jealous is for something silly?

I just tell myself that I need to calm down and talk to my partner. Telling them you are feeling jealous and upset really help You just have to vent, they should also be able to help you feel better about how you feel. I hope this helps!

anonymous asked:

l love my boyfriend a lot but he doesn't pay attention to me as much as i'd like he hasn't even talked to me the past three days and i've tried to talk about it before in the past but he says that he works pretty much all day and when he gets home all he wants to do is go to bed but what about what l want? 😞😔

its takes literally 15 seconds to send a txt saying I love you. less than that, if he really liked u and adored u, no matter how busy he is he will be able to make time for u. its up to you on what you want to do, but it’s obv he’s not trying hard enough

a cool idea: whenever you’re tempted to say “xyz trope is overdone and trite” simply because you see it often in white cis hetero romances, consider that not everybody else gets to have visible love stories, so the same standards can’t be applied. 

i see people on here talking about how it’s, like, damaging to write romances with a fairytale ending, or soulmate stories, or first loves that last forever, or childhood-friends-to-lovers, whatever the hell. all that cute, sometimes corny stuff. people try to frame it like it’s a terrible, bad thing, and why? because it doesn’t scratch your specific narrative itches? because it doesn’t perfectly represent your specific experiences, and you don’t think it holds water? it’s unrealistic? it gives people false expectations of ease and happiness?

if you’re not cis/het/white/abled you already know life isn’t easy and comfortable all the time, and as a matter of fact, nobody ever wants to remind you otherwise. if you’re not cis/het/white/abled, you probably don’t have many (if any) love stories in media that you can consider a fairytale. most of them end sadly. many of them are excessively edgy and nihilistic. nicholas sparks novels aren’t written about all of us. 

so like in the case of, i don’t know, soulmate AUs? you (an intellectual) might want to write 10 pages on why it’s a Bad Trope with Problematic™ Narrative Reliances, and Rote, Soulless Methods of Building Relationships, but you know what? some gay brown kid out there is reading about a world where they get to find the love of their life without any fear and pain involved. it’s escapism and wish-fulfillment, and they’re probably fully aware of it. again: nicholas sparks novels are not written about all of us. 

chances are, most people will never assume that they can walk into a flower shop and find the love of a lifetime behind the counter, neatly arranging bouquets. they’ve been reminded their whole lives that certain things for certain people don’t come easy. when you act like people will be given false expectations through cheesy stories, because life doesn’t work that way, you’re preaching to a very, very tired choir.

if somebody wants to write stories that makes the world more bearable for them, there’s nothing wrong with that. that is the opposite of damaging. leave those stories alone, lmfao. you think it’s boring? admit that you think it’s boring! move on! don’t try to frame it like it’s anti-progressive. 

the year of letting go, of understanding loss. grace. of the word ‘no’ and also being able to say ‘you are not kind’. the year of humanity/humility. when the whole world couldn’t get out of bed. everyone i’ve met this year, says the same thing ‘you are so easy to be around, how do you do that?’. the year i broke open and dug out all the rot with own hands. the year i learnt small talk. and how to smile at strangers. the year i understood that i am my best when i reach out and ask ‘do you want to be my friend?’. the year of sugar, everywhere. softness. sweetness. honey honey. the year of being alone, and learning how much i like it. the year of hugging people i don’t know, because i want to know them. the year i made peace and love, right here.
—  Warsan Shire
the year of letting go, of understanding loss. grace. of the word ‘no’ and also being able to say ‘you are not kind.’ the year of humanity/humility. when the whole world couldn’t get out of bed. everyone I’ve met this year, says the same thing ‘you are so easy to be around, how do you do that?’. the year I broke open and dug out all the rot with own hands. the year I learnt small talk. and how to smile at strangers. the year I understood that I am my best when I reach out and ask ‘do you want to be my friend?’. the year of sugar, everywhere. softness. sweetness. honey honey. the year of being alone, and learning how much I like it. the year of hugging people I don’t know, because I want to know them. the year I made peace and love, right here.
—  Warsan Shire | on: exiting 2016 and entering 2017

So I met Tarjei yesterday..? 

He’s the sweetest, cutest and most adorable person in the world..? His hugs are so comfortable? I thanked him for what he did with SKAM and how “his” Isak helped me a lot with understanding myslef and admitting issues I wasn’t able to say aloud earlier and he looked at me, smiled and said “you’re not alone”. I can’t believe he “du er ikke alene”-ed me with this wonderful, warm smile.

what amazes me is how widely different music the boys seem to be making like niall’s song is so stripped down and simple while louis’ is more up beat and edm and then you have liam working w rappers and niall talking about harry’s rockier sound like they’ve made 5 albums as one direction and now they’re able to go off on their own and try new sounds they wouldn’t have been able to as a group and i’m so happy for all of them?? they’re all so talented and amazing both as a group and as solo artists wow

3

I’m really, genuinely disturbed by this idea that men can’t cry. And that they just can’t express themselves, they can’t talk about how they actually feel. I think that’s actually the saddest thing in the world! It’s what makes you human. How you feel, being able to express yourself, being passionate, being emotional. It’s what makes you human, it’s not what makes you a girl. If you’ve got a beating heart, and you care about things, that’s great.

Can we stop everything for a minute and talk about Jared’s and Jensen’s acting? Sure we can.

There’s no such thing as a surprise when it comes to them being able to make me cry with a simple look and make me crack laughing with a simple move but anyways I still find their acting mesmerizing. 

Let’s start with Jensen, because he got me crying all over this scene. I couldn’t help it. (I cry a lot with SPN because of him)

{source here}

He made me feel every bit of desperation he was feeling. How you can’t remember something so simple, so yours, something that in any normal situation you could say it like you can sing your favorite song. But there’s any of that and he just makes you feel it, he doesn’t even has to say it, it’s there in his eyes; how lost he feels.

And all I have to say is: Jensen, you’re definitely one of the best actors I’ve seen and it’s amazingly beautiful the way in which you can get to people’s feelings with your expressions.

That said, now Jared. (I cry a lot with SPN because of this bitch, too

{source here

I’ve been all emotional because of Sam in countless times, Jared gives such expression to Sam that you can’t help yourself.

I was as worried as Sam at this moment and even though I saw Dean’s words as a joke I was totally lost and trying to keep calm but no can do, this is Supernatural we’re talking about. Sam’s expressions here say so much, him shaking his head, him looking away, the little smile he makes, the sigh of relief, the way his eyes look watery. He was going to loose it if the counterspell didn’t work. It’s seen that he can’t lose Dean, not like that, not again. He goes with “not funny” but you gotta see it in his face, you gotta hear it in his voice. Is such a strong feeling kinda like he was making me feel it.

Jared, you’re freaking gold and you never fail to amaze me, you never fail to make me feel every single thing Sam feels. 

Honestly, I’ve gotta thank the world for having such great actors as Jared and Jensen to play the characters I love the most because clearly without them I wouldn’t have fallen in love with the Winchesters. Thanks for,  and to, Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles. 

I noticed something about the latest episode that hasn’t really been discussed? Or at least I haven’t seen any discussion about it. Basically the possibility that just for a moment, Rose was able to talk to Steven

Listen, just like how the room Connie acted, room Rose went along with Steven, not acting like the Rose we have seen in past episodes, at least not fully. 

She maintains these half-lidded tired looking eyes as if she is not fully there and continues to behave how Steven has always dreamed she would be

Its somewhat unsettling to see these sorts of expressions in contrast to the wide eyed, expressive, excitable emotions we usually see from Rose in flashbacks. 

But then Steven said “You’re not my mom.”

“I’m not?”

We know from open book that the room basically takes all its orders and interpretations from Steven. The room Connie was going along with Steven just like rose was, until she was told not to do what Steven wanted, something that contrasted what she was supposed to be. And room Rose was told “You’re not my mom.”

So she began to act in an un-motherly way, her image becoming intimidating and a storm rising all around her.

But then, she does something room Connie wasn’t able to do. She doesn’t continue listening to Steven’s ‘order’ that she wasn’t his mom anymore. She goes on to console him.

“Steven, you know that isn’t true. In the tape I left you I told you how much I wanted to have you and let you exist, do you think what I said to you in the tape was a lie?”

Her expression seems much more alert and focused, she’s lost that ‘fake’ sort of feeling she had before. She strays away from what Steven told her, that she wasn’t his mom, something room Connie wasn’t able to do. 

This action makes it seem like just maybe, she was really able to communicate with him for a moment. That she wasn’t just a construct of the room, only able to follow orders and listen to what Steven says. 

She acts like a mother when she was told she wasn’t. You could argue that this is simply Steven knowing what he needs to hear and the room showing it to him but you cannot completely rule this theory out:

What if Rose really was able to console Steven through the room?

Some Things Nobody Tells You About Being in a Wheelchair

You’re gonna get all sorts of advice on how to think, what to think, how to be positive, how to keep abled-bodied people comfortable. However, almost nobody is going to tell you how to be disabled, if you catch my drift. Very few people actually want to talk about it, so without further adieu, here are some things I wish somebody told me:


-Getting out of your car in the rain is terrifying. It’s a slippery, wet hell.

-The snow is even worse. People are going to shovel into accessible parking spots. Or worse, they won’t shovel it. You will inexplicably have to cancel plans at some point or another due to the snow.

-Mud and dirt. All over your hands, all the time.

-Yes, your shoulders are going to be sore for the first few months, and anytime you over exert. 

-Yes, your butt is going to ache after sitting all day.

-Invest in side guards!! Seriously, they’ll save your clothes. I personally like the removable kind, because it’s easier to transfer with them off.

-Scissor breaks (or undermount breaks) are fantastic for saving your thumbs from the pain of jamming them on the break, however they’re more money.

-You will face-plant. It will happen, and it will be mortifying. We’ve all been there.

-Get some cycling gloves!

-People really do stare.

-They also really do ask inappropriate questions. Be prepared.

-The world isn’t all that accessible. Even when places claim to be, they aren’t always. Restaurants are a personal hell for me because the tables are always too close together and they never have accessible bathrooms.

-Your hands are going to get gross. Mine are calloused and nasty 24/7. If you get manicures then this won’t be as bad, but you’ll still have to say goodbye to smooth hands.

-Learn how to wheelie. You’re going to have to wheelie of curbs, bumps in the sidewalk, all the stuff.

-Your shoes are going to last forever, which is fantastic, but it’s almost impossible to break them in.

-If you put a backpack on the back of your chair (which you should) make sure it’s not too heavy, or else you’ll fall backwards when you wheelie.

-Keep your chair clean. Tweeze the grime and hair from your caster wheels at least every 4 weeks. Keep your tires full of air.

-Carry around an allen wrench in your bag or backpack. You might never need it, but if you do, you’ll be really glad to have it.

-If you’re planning of wear high heels, consider lowering your footplate so that your knees aren’t too high up.

-Consider getting a hand held shower head. It just makes life easier.

-High waisted pants and long tops are a blessing.

Ten things I wish someone told me when I started HRT:

You can get hormone therapy in the United States without undergoing a long evaluation period or undergoing a ‘real life test’ if you seek out an ‘informed consent’ doctor or clinic. I waited over a year before seeking hormones because I did not want to place myself at the mercy of a mental health professional and I did not want a doctor ‘diagnosing’ my gender. Which brings me to…

They’re going to diagnose you anyway because they need an ICD code to bill your insurance company. I was furious when I found the diagnosis on my medical chart. It would have helped a lot if the doctor had asked my permission or explained that it was for insurance billing purposes only but he didn’t.

Hormone therapy drugs bought from overseas pharmacies are safe and will not cause ‘legitimate’ clinics to refuse treatment should you later decide to switch to a prescription. At the time the information I was able to find talked a lot about how trans women who use ‘black market’ hormones are not to be trusted and that a trans woman who uses such medications should be denied care until they can prove themselves ‘trustworthy,’ somehow. It is a lie.

There is absolutely zero evidence that injectable estrogens are more effective than oral estrogens. The fact is that the ‘advantage’ attributed to injectable estrogens is almost certainly placebo (and injectable placebo is known to be much more powerful than one administered orally). I could have saved myself a lot of discomfort and a serious leg injury caused by an improperly prepared injection.

Properly dosed, there is no reason that sublingual estradiol should be more effective than oral estradiol. The only thing that matters is that enough estradiol enters into your bloodstream and that is something that will be reflected in your labs.

Transdermal estradiol patches are itchy, smelly affairs that cost quite a lot of money and refuse to stay on. Knowing what I know now I would have avoided them entirely.

When I started hormone therapy my endocrinologist gave me conjugated equine estrogen because it came in smaller doses than 17β-estradiol. I was kept on conjugated estrogen for some time under the pretense that he was making sure I didn’t have any bad reactions to being on estrogen. Knowing what I know now I would have been able to argue that conjugated equine estrogen has a much worse side-effect profile than 17β-estradiol and that placing me on this drug unnecessarily endangered my body and my transition. Furthermore, the smallest doses available were far below a healthy dose needed to maintain bone and emotional well-being. Done again I would have insisted that I be started on a reasonable dose of 17β-estradiol.

Low progesterone is implicated in poor emotional health in women. Micronized progesterone is valuable to trans women for maintaining a healthy level of progesterone. I’ve personally benefited a lot, emotionally, from having it and I just wish I started using it sooner.

I wish someone had encouraged me to seek out other trans people as friends. At the time I first came out I didn’t really know there were other people out there that could really help me. The only thing I knew about being trans was what I was able to read online and in books and most of that firmly emphasized the idea that you should transition until you’ve had surgery and ‘pass’ and then disappear and that the people who ‘hung around’ the community were somehow failures. I know that’s not the truth, now, but it really messed me up early in my transition.

I wish someone told me to be cautious. I wish I was told that doctors and mental health professionals aren’t the last word and that if one decides that you’re a ‘failure’ or ‘actually a man’ it’s them that is wrong and not my own instincts regarding who I am. I also wish someone had given me a gentle nudge that some of the people I would meet in the trans community are not to be trusted and do not have my well being at heart. I feel that knowing those two things coming into that experience would have saved me a lot of grief.

Joker imagine: Daddy kink

ifindyourlipssokisssable said:

Could you do an imagine where the reader is J’s girlfriend & she’s cute & needy & heavily into the Daddy kink & it drives him crazy (not able to focus on work) then rough smut happens thxx


Originally posted by fotokopicibierkek

Originally posted by badxbaby

Your P.O.V.

Oh how boring a day could be. J was stuck in his office trying to work as I wandered around the penthouse with absolutely nothing to do. The tv was on, but I gave up trying to find something interesting to watch. Maybe I could talk him through and so we could go out for a drive around the city or something? Being alone was the worst.

‘’Daddy!’’ I whined as soon as I opened his office door.He was sitting on his big leather chair and facing down to some papers. Didn’t even raise his eyes. ‘’Daddy I’m bored’’I told him and walked further into the room. I was wearing his purple button up shirt as my only clothing right now which was something he usually liked.

‘’Go bother Frost or something, I’m busy’’ He mumbled and then grabbed a new paper. I crossed my arms and decided to give this man a break from planning so many crimes. ‘’Come on..We could do something else daddy’’ I winked and leaned against his desk. I knew this was risky, but man I had nothing else to do either. J looked up to me and saw what I was wearing. ‘’Baby girl, daddy is working. I’m coming later’’ He tried to say calmly, but I knew I was getting onto something. 

‘’Ooh that’s a pretty pen’’ I chirped and took his pen from his hand. It was a normal black pen, but I had to get it away from him. ‘’Give it back’’ He demanded and reached out his palm for me. ‘’I don’t think so. You should take a break ‘’ I smiled and then put the pen in the pocket of his shirt that I was wearing. His eyes grew darker and I knew I was pissing him off. 

‘’Y/N I swear to god I need it’’He growled and stood up. Yes. ‘’Come and get it daddy’’ I encouraged him and walked backwards as he came closer. He clenched his jaw and his breathing got husky. He gave me a dark look and then saw a wall nearby. Before I knew it, I was pinned against the wall and J was in front of me. Our eyes met and I saw how full of lust his were. ‘’That’s a start. At least you got your bum off of that chair’’ I chirped happily. He put a finger on my lips and took a deep breath.

‘’I’m really trying to work baby, but you’re making it hard for me’’ J growled with a very serious tone. Just what I wanted to hear. ‘’Sorry. There’s nothing to do so I wanted to come and see you daddy’’ I pouted and then used that one word that always drove him insane. ‘’You know you shouldn’t interrupt me’’ the corners of his mouth curved into a smile. I nodded to let him know that I knew I was breaking the rules.

‘’Such a bad bad girl’’ He whispered darkly and licked his lips. ‘’Sorry daddy’’ I apologized, but I didn’t mean it at all. I knew I was about to get him over the edge. ‘’Careful’’ He warned me and pointed at me with his long finger. ‘’For what?’’  I grinned and then he murmured something under his breath. He was trying to stay calm, but I wasn’t allowing that to happen. ‘’Let’s do something’’ I sighed and pulled his shirt. ‘’You keep misbehaving over and over again. I think someone needs to be punished’’ He suddenly noted and grabbed my wrist. 

Goal achieved.

His eyes darkened and I knew he was angry that I got him away from work. Suddenly he started walking back to the desk and pulled my wrist and forced me to follow him. I tried to contain my excitement as he finally decided to do something. J pushed me against the flat surface and then lifted the hem of the shirt I was wearing so my bum was visible for him.

‘’How many do you think that you deserve, hm?’’ He nearly growled and put his other hand on my back. ‘’I don’t know daddy.. 3?’’ I suggested innocently and fluttered my eyelashes at him. He just chuckled and my suggestion. ‘’You haven’t been that good. I think it’s more like 10′’ He thought out loud and rubbed the skin softly. I knew that his spanks were hard, but I had a weird pain kink, just like the daddy kink that turned us both on.

Then out of the blue he slapped his palm against my ass, making me gasp in surprise. A stinging pain took over, but it was replaced my pleasure. ‘’Count’’ J demanded and then spanked me again. ‘’2′’ I moaned out and held onto the edge of the desk. ‘’Oh..you like this don’t you?’’ He questioned me with a husky voice and slapped my bum cheeks. ‘’3..’’ I whimpered and ignored his question. He was making me extremely wet now. 4..5..6..7..8, all in a row and it made me yell out. My eyes got teary, but I still kept a smile on my face.

‘’Oh you’re such a bad girl Y/N’’ He let me know. ‘’I can’t help it daddy’’ I defended myself and deserved a harder spank, making me groan. ‘’9′’ I muttered and prepared myself for one more. J knew that i got impatient easily. So he waited just to be a damn tease. ‘’You won’t be able to walk tomorrow so you can’t walk in and distract me’’ He warned me with a low voice. Just as I opened my mouth to speak, he spanked me one last time time and caused me to yell out his name.

‘’10′’ I added quickly and then let out a big breath. I heard as he unbuckled his belt, but I didn’t turn to look because I didn’t want to misbehave more. Suddenly he ripped off the shirt from me and threw it somewhere on the floor. ‘’You’re so naughty baby girl..’’ He whispered and then pushed himself into me with no warning. My lips parted and my eyes nearly rolled out of my head from the sudden pleasure.

He put his hands on my waist and then started to pound in and out of my soft wet walls. J held onto me so tightly that I was sure it would leave visible marks. ‘’Yes Daddy!’’ I cried out and gritted my teeth. His movements were rough and harsh, showing no mercy at all. The sudden roughness hurt, but it also felt so good that I wished this bittersweet pleasure would stay forever. 

J grunted in pleasure and thrusted his length so deep I could nearly feel him in my tummy. I could nearly see stars. His hand found my hair and he tugged it a little so I had to lean closer to him with my back, supporting my weigh with my arms. He kept fucking me hard from behind, but soon I felt his lips on my neck. ‘’Are you still bored?’’ he breathed out and smled dirtily. I could barely breathe because I kept moaning and crying out in raw pleasure. My heart was beating faster as adrenaline pumped through my body. ‘’N-No..’’ I stuttered quietly. 

‘’No ,what?’’ He growled and gave me a hard thrust, making my body jump a little and I cursed out a few curse words. ‘’No daddy’’ I let him know and then gulped. It pleased his dirty mind to hear that. An orgasm was forming rapidly and I knew that he wouldn’t stop until he came, not caring about my orgasm. This was my punishment. I’d either be lucky and come at the same time, or then he’d make me come and keep thrusting his big cock in my sensitive cunt, making the pleasure way more intense and overwhelming.

‘’You’re close’’ You whispered and felt my walls pulsing on him. I gritted my teeth and tried to hold back the orgasm that was building up. Knowing J, he’d do anything to make me come now. I wasn’t wrong either. His other hand touched my clit and he started rubbing it roughly, making my legs shake. ‘’Daddy..please I-I can’t-’’ I whimpered quietly ,but it was useless. He was so rough that it brought me over the edge quickly.

My orgasm came without a warning, sending a wave of pleasure through my body. I shut my eyes for a while as I tried to gather myself, but I could feel my juices leaking down my leg. 

Overstimulation.

My legs kept shaking wildly as J fucked my tightened walls. He was moaning deeply and soon I felt his teeth sinking into my shoulder as he bit me. The pleasure was too much. I was moaning uncontrollably and I could barely hold onto the table anymore. 

His thrusts got sloppier and I knew he was close now. ‘’Cum inside me’’ I encouraged him even tho I could barely talk. Only seconds later I felt his cum filling me up, as he came. I breathed out shakily and was allowed to breathe for a moment. J moaned my name which was the sexiest thing I have ever heard. It made me so happy that I was able to make him feel good.

Even tho he was punishing me for being so misbehaving.

J pulled out and I felt how his warm cum ran down my leg along with my arousal. I bit my bottom lip and tried to calm down from the rough sex. I knew for sure that I would be sore tomorrow. ‘’Are you happy now?’’ J asked me and walked in front of me, taking a seat on his chair. His green hair was a mess and his skin was sweaty from fucking me like there was no limit.The after sex-glow suited him. 

‘’Mmhm’’ I mumbled a yes and then tried to stand up, being completely naked in front of him. J had pulled up his pants and he was obviously going to continue working. ‘’How about you take a bath? I’ll join you in five’’ He promised and then grabbed a new pen from his desk. A bath sounded amazing. Ooh especially with a bathbomb.

 ‘’See you then’’ I smiled tiredly and then tried to walk out of his office. I felt his eyes on me as I struggled to walk in a straight line. All I could hear was him laughing at me, but I didn’t mind. It was kinda amusing.

Most of all though, it was you who I wanted to tell that I was hurting. You were the one I wanted to explain to that if I had my heart in my hands instead of my chest, I’d be able to watch it beat in pain to the beat of, “I’m hurting I’m hurting I’m hurting and you’re just watching”.

But no one wants to hear about the pain they’ve inflicted. One moment you’re telling me you love me and the next you can’t even look me in the eyes anymore and the next we haven’t talked in 3 months and oh god oh god how is this happening oh-

But it was still you I wanted to turn to, even though I knew that you weren’t part of the team anymore. I wanted to beg my heart to let it go, God please, there’s no point in beating for you anymore. But my heart’s never listening and my head’s awful at communication, so if you’re looking for a heart, another one to add to your collection, you know my house is the one on the corner of our favorite intersection.

—  It plays a song just for you