how twisted is that

My All-Time Top Ten Favourite Fanfics

I’ve thought about doing this list for quite a while now. Let me tell you why. 

Being part of a fandom is, for the most part, quite awesome. However, being a fanfic writer can be quite daunting and discouraging, especially if you don’t get the feedback you’re looking for. As a writer myself, I just want to spread the love and point people towards some amazing, amazing works I’ve loved and have been inspired by since I was a mere thirteen year-old discovering ff.net for the first time. I really, really hope you guys check these stories out. In my humble opinion, they are even better than some original novels that have been published over the years. (*cough* Twilight *cough*) 

At the end of the post, I’ve tagged TEN people here on Tumblr. I hope these people who are tagged will share ten of their all-time favourite fics and tag ten more people, and hopefully, we can keep this whole ‘support for fanfic authors’ thing going for a while yet. Fingers crossed! :) 

Originally posted by applekisses

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1. The Life and Times (Harry Potter) by Jewels5 ( @itreallyatemyhand ) - The story of James and Lily’s sixth and seventh year at Hogwarts, and how they fall in love. This fic remains THE fic for me; it is practically canon in my mind.  If you’re a long-time Harry Potter fanfic reader, you’d probably have heard of TLAT. This fic has its own fandom, for God’s sake. (It’s even been mentioned in a Buzzfeed article? Whattt?) But if you haven’t heard of it, START READING IT NOW. I can’t gush enough about how well-plotted and well written this story is. It has inspired my own writing throughout the years and I’ve reread it more than five times. It physically pains me that it might never be finished, but don’t let this stop you from enjoying these 36 chapters. They will make you laugh, they will make you cry, they will make you fall in love, and trust me when I say - you won’t ever be disappointed. I still come back to this story every now and then, and every time, I fall in love with it a little bit more. - Multi-chapter on ff.net

2. The Queen Susan in Tashbaan, Part 2 of the Stone Gryphon (Narnia) by @rthstewart - The Pevensies aiding the British war effort in WWII. If you’re a history lover and a Narnia fan, you MUST read this story. The amount of history woven into this series is simply awe-inspiring. The plot still floors me, even after all these years. And the characters - both the canon ones and the original ones - are written and expanded so beautifully. Not only that, there is a lot of heart to this story and a very real, very palpable sense of bittersweetness to everything. - Multi-chapter on AO3

3. A Sea of Golden Sand (Narnia) by Andi Horton - The events of “The Horse and His Boy” through the perspectives of the Pevensies. This is everything - I repeat - EVERYTHING you’d want from a Golden-Age Narnia fic. This story chronicles the events leading up to the final battle at Anvard, from Rabadash’s visit to Narnia to Aravis and Shasta coming to Archenland. It is incredibly, incredibly well-written, filled with humour, heart, and amazing characters. And although it was published in 2007, most stories in the Narnia fandom don’t even come close to this level of badassery! Edmund, one of my favourite characters ever, is pretty much swoon-worthy in this. I’m legitimately in love with this version of Edmund. - Multi-chapter on ff.net

4. Troubles Melt Like Lemon Drops (Narnia) by Francienyc - The Pevensies navigating life in England after they’re not allowed to go back to Narnia. Lots of sibling bonding in this one, but by God, the simplicity and the subtleness of their pain! It has been years, but I still think of this fic every once in a while, and it still chokes me up a little. - One-shot on ff.net

5. Hung Out to Dry (Narnia) by @rthstewart - Jill/Eustace but with an angsty, heartbreaking twist. Despite how short it is, it is still one of my favourite things I’ve ever read. The aesthetics, the silences, the unrequited love - this story has it all. Every time I read it, I find myself still getting emotional by the simplest of sentences. In short, just exquisite. - One-shot on AO3

6. Fools (Harry Potter) by lyin’ ( @thegirlwholied ) - The First Order of the Phoenix, with the Marauders, the Prewett twins, and Marlene Mckinnon. I remember crying my eyes out the first time I read this story, years and years ago. Yes, there are a ton of First Order fics out there. But please trust me when I say - none of them is quite like this one. This story will undoubtedly shatter you, but in the best of ways. - Multi-chapter on AO3

7. In Their Autumn Beauty (Harry Potter) by lyin’ ( @thegirlwholied ) - The teenagers of the First Order of the Phoenix as seen through the eyes of the much older, much more jaded Dorcas Meadowes. This story is only 2,000 words long, but it has stayed with me for years and years. It is so, so beautiful. Please. Just read it. I beg you. It’ll take you only ten minutes, maybe. You won’t regret it. - One-shot on ff.net

8. Joy in the Mourning (Narnia) by Andi Horton - The Pevensies during the Blitz in London, after they’re not allowed to go back to Narnia. I also remember crying when I first read this. (Yes, there really is a pattern here; I do cry a lot.) This story really captures what the Narnia books are about: finding joy and hope amidst despair. - One-shot on ff.net

9. The Death of Kings (A Song of Ice and Fire) by La Reine Noire  ( @poorshadowspaintedqueens ) - The events leading up to and of Robert’s Rebellion through the perspectives of the Dead Ladies Club, primarily Lyanna Stark, Ashara Dayne, and Elia Martell. Usually, I’m not a fan of fics about Robert’s Rebellion; I find most authors’ take of the events hard to believe and the characters not well fleshed out. This story, however, is EPIC and SO well-written, you’d think it was canon while you’re reading it! I cried buckets at the end, of course. If you’re a fan of the ASOIAF books, definitely give this one a try. - Multi-chapter on AO3

10. Corellian Gin (Rogue One) by guineapiggie ( @ruby-red-inky-blue ) - Jyn/Cassian surviving Scariff, with bits told through the eyes of Bodhi. Of course, I had to squeeze in a Rogue One fic somehow, but I really had a hard time choosing ONE story from my old writing partner, guineapiggie. I nearly chose “The World Through A Scope”“Beinahe”, or something from the series that we wrote together (”Happy Endings”/ “Where’s My Love?”), but I settled on this one instead because it is one of the first Rogue One fics I read that made me tear up. I LOVE a bit of well-written romantic angst, and this story has it in spades. - One-shot on AO3

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HONOURABLE MENTIONS (because I can’t quite help myself):

Harry Potter - Anything by lyin’ ( @thegirlwholied ), especially Brackets (Sirius/Marlene), Stray Thought (Sirius/Marlene), and the No, Nay, Never series (the First Order of the Phoenix). 

Narnia - Firstly, anything by Andi Horton, especially King’s Champion (Edmund-centric) and The Better Part (Pevensies bonding). Secondly, The Delight of My Eyes (Aravis/Shasta) by Francienyc. And lastly, Rat and Sword Go To War (Pevensies in WWII) by @rthstewart , as well as the rest of her The Stone Gryphon series. 

Rogue One - Resistance is Built On Hope (WWII AU) by ChronicOlicity, Floating, Sinking (fix-it fic) by @shu-of-the-wind, the violet hour (Jyn/Cassian modern au) by caramelle or @mellamymake, and all the angsty Jyn/Cassian stories by guineapiggie ( @ruby-red-inky-blue ). 

Originally posted by jpaddey

TAGS: Now, to join me in this venture of spreading fanfic love (yes, I’m perfectly aware of how weird that sounds), I’d like to invite these ten awesome individuals who I have interacted with here or on AO3: @ruby-red-inky-blue, @operaticspacetrash, @yavemiel, @rxbxlcaptain, @rapha-senna, @thenewleeland, @pingou7, @jeroncassianandor, @lclrgsl and @rebelcaptainfics. And don’t worry! You guys don’t have to write these long reviews for each of your recommendation like I did; I was simply bored and overzealous! :) 

If you’re not tagged, but have seen this on your dash and want to jump in on the action, please feel free to make your own list and tag ten more people. Let’s show appreciation for fanfic writers who put so much work and time into writing these stories we love so much! <3 

amor fati

Jungkook has heard it all: the assumptions, the accusations, the suppositions that blindly underine his whole being.

“You can’t do a single thing right.”

His inner world is quiet, an ivory realm that simmers with brimming thoughts that can’t be spilled, his mind shackled to his mouth that binds both into a restraint. The world before him dims into a lackluster orbit of weakened spirits, where the firmament of an azure hue slowly wanes into that of a worn down denim blue. 

Since when did all his convictions, all his bravery and ambition become so dull -  buried beneath the deep vicissitudes of his ingrained melancholia? How did his confidence warp into inward hatred, his honesty twisted into guarded deceit of I’m okays?

“You take everything for granted. Why can’t you be more grateful?”

His expressions become as blank as an untainted canvas when confrontations proceed. He feels as though his mind stops working, the engine jerking to a whole stop when he needed the cogs to turn the most. How, in desperation, he’s clawing at anything he can spit to make them go away, but apologies won’t cut it. They want more, more, more; explanations, sincerity, a face full of melodramatic contortions that convey the human emotions. No more of the same excuses. 

Apologies are forced; empty laced with fear as they tell him how to feel, how to react, what to say and do. It was as though every single little thing he did was a crime; they would blow things out of proportions, and it caused him a great deal of trepidation as he went along the day as his normal self - not exactly; unable to be normal, when he was so caught up in being so cautious and careful in every move he made, and it made him sick, because all the things he did weren’t sincere anymore. He just did them for survival.

“You don’t even mean it when you apologize. I’m always the one to ask for it when you don’t take responsibility for what you did wrong.”

But what did Jungkook do wrong?

“This is basic human decency - common sense. If you can’t even say a single ‘thank you’, how are you supposed to survive in the real world?”

But Jungkook does say ‘thank you’. He’s expressed his gratitude countless and countless of times but it’s not enough - never enough. 

“You never speak. How are we supposed to know what you’re thinking?”

Nobody listens to him.

“Why are you so selfish? Why do you always think about yourself?”

They’ve got it all wrong - 

“You’re so useless - ”

“ - always so passive - ”

“Don’t play the victim - ”

“Say sorry.”

Sorry.

“You don’t even mean it.”

Jungkook’s heard it all.

So he rarely speaks, never shows, doesn’t allow himself to feel, because whatever he does on his own free will is always seen as an unwatchable crime. It was as though his existence dripped acid droplets of iniquity, his worthlessness a true aspect of his character that’s been issued countless of times, and that he was a spineless puppet, seemingly vacant and controlled like a marionette with his limbs attached to invisible strings of the silhouettes that guilt-trips him into becoming a vessel of sheer depravity. Because that was what he was, right? 

A puppet. A worthless puppet. Quietness was an atrocity. Compassion was a transgression. Gratitude was sought for and expected. But then - 

“I like being with you.” Jimin said, his soft smile as bright as little dainty diamonds, his eyes shaping into that of an eclipsed moon that conveyed the absolute wonders of his beauty, “It’s comfortable. It’s hard to tell what you’re thinking about though. You’re a mystery.” His voice was soothing. Different from the others that were harsh and gritty. 

His voice reminded Jungkook of a forest’s hymn, specked with gold, a mid afternoon kissed by the summer sun and its gilded rays. It reminds him of the simplicity of beauty, like little etches of petite charms engraved on the trunks of trees; like noticing the glittering spots of scintillas integrated within a clique of granite rocks; like sleeping in on a Saturday morning with the warm sun beaming through the windows. He always felt warm being near him and listening to his genuine words and sweet voice. It gave him a little bit of faith in the cracked globules of his heart - of what remains, at least.

One day, Jimin breaks the wall of vocable boundaries and extends a hand towards him amidst the evening, as they sat on the prickly grass by the river and watched as the sun beautifully set, its luminous, glowing hues blending into pomegranate pink and tangerine orange, “Can I ask you something?”

Jungkook eyes at his hand momentarily with a glint of hesitancy. “What?” He tentatively reaches for the offered hand when Jimin beckons him to take it. The grip of their intertwined hands was soft and gentle, but enough to radiate a placid heat between their palms.

“Do you,” Jimin hums a bit as he delicately runs a thumb over his knuckles, “like being here?” 

Jungkook doesn’t understand. He always likes being with Jimin. He feels safe with him.

“It’s just that - your eyes,” Jimin tightens his grip just ever so slightly, his smile dostoevskian, and Jungkook didn’t like that. He wanted to see him smile with absolute mirth, dimples showing and nose scrunching, “your eyes says a lot when your mouth doesn’t. And I was just wondering, because you know I’m always here for you, don’t you?”

Oh. 

Do you like being here?

Do you like being alive?

It was the same question; just different answers. 

And if it were any other time, Jungkook would have answered -  lied with an ‘of course’, but as he stares at Jimin and his starry eyes and the tender smile only reserved for him, the realization of being in love with him hits him like a epiphany, a strange mellowness flooding his whole being.

“Remember this, Jungkook,” Jimin had once said to him, “It’s not your fault that the lives of those people who hurt you are in constant decline. It’s never your fault for any of their misfortunes. You’re not a pawn for them to take their anger out on you. You’re more than just what they make you feel. You’re more than their words.”

Perhaps it happened from the very beginning when they first met. Perhaps it was only just now that he’s finally aware of the fact that Jimin has always seen him as an actual person. He never looked at him with judgment or with hostility. Rather, he saw him. He saw right through him, saw through his chicanery and destruction, saw through his quietude only to witness the muddles of his mind and heart slivered in fragments of wintry albatrosses. He was the first person to understand his silence and his solemnity and never questioned the bruises that were scattered across his arms and ribs, like the blooming of wilting flowers still in their budding phase. 

And Jimin knows. And he’s still here when he could have left, but he didn’t. He stayed. (Even when Jungkook caused him inevitable frustration from the difficulties of his guarded nature, he still stayed.)

Since when had he felt this calm around a person without the anxiousness to perform well at everything to avoid being affronted at the tiniest things in scale? Without the possibility of things being blown out of proportion like they always are?

There was no denial, just a quiet moment of acceptance and understanding.

Jungkook looked down at their hands.

“I didn’t.” He confesses, but a gentle smile works its way on his face, the stretch of his face muscles aching from the unfamiliarity of a true, earnest smile made from his own volition, “but now I do.”

Maybe there was no kiss -  no banal declaration of love to signify their feelings but they knew; with their soft smiles and knowing looks and warm, prolonged eye contact; their interwoven hands that settled between them comfortably as they basked in the hushed reticence. Words weren’t expected to be spoken, no compulsory apologies - Jungkook felt a flood of pure freedom and an indescribable happiness. He wasn’t tied down to the puppeteers that bestowed a sense of shame upon him -  instead, he felt like a person for once and felt as though he was treated as one too.

And maybe it’ll take him time - a long time, even - to stop shaking at little mistakes, at automatically apologizing profoundly at the slightest shortcomings, and flinching every time someone moves to give him a mere hug. He’ll never be permanently okay, but who was always okay in their lives? Jungkook would learn, through regression and progression, to unlearn all the toxic things done onto him, because it was possible. Healing was possible - difficult, but attainable.

And as he looks at Jimin who looked at him with so much warmth, so much love, he felt hope probe at his heart and there, he learned that perhaps he wasn’t broken like he thought he was all this time, but was merely incomplete. 

I just…don’t understand how anyone can not have criticisms of steven universe when like? the show has gotten so boring. It just feels like…nothing is at stake and it never feels like anyone is really in any danger. I would have thought being on Homeworld, I would have feared for Steven’s life (and I did a little at the trial) but right after that….Steven finds a magic portal back to his house without having to do anything! Whenever we establish an important plot point (Rose shattering PD for example) the show flip-flops around just for an artificial twist. 

This just feels like the same shit with Bryke and LoK and how they kept creating weird, pointless twists, not for the story but to make it more “exciting”. Which in the end makes it less satisfying and less cohesive and therefore a much worse and convoluted story. I don’t even know what the point of SU is supposed to be anymore.

Wanted

Alright.

That was better than expected. It provided some interesting developments, and some twists.

I do like how they’ve give us a bit of a reason for a new style of off-earth episode - we’ll see how it works. ALso it’s great that Lars will have to be involved in it as well.

The Trial was far better than I thought,and gives us an interesting twist.

And it also makes us ask the question that wasn’t answered, even in the Trial’s big-reveal.

Where is White Diamond?

I think I enjoyed tonights episode a lot more than others, because for me, watching this story, the hardest thing to cope with was Aaron being lied to. Now they’re together, and working through it in spite of how twisted it might be, and how “plotty.” They’re working through it together, and really, isn’t that when Robron are at their best?

Oh God, i’m annoyed!
All the setting would be perfect for the twist “there is no baby”!
Robron discussing how they could be good as dads and Robert saying about wishing to create their own family in the future, then we had this hospital with no doctors and Chrissie telling the news and then could be the real twist! There’s no baby! That would be absolutely amazing but once again Emmerdale ruined their perfect exit out of this horrible storyline…. and we know that Rebecca will come back soon so there is no point to celebrate… once again wasted!

anonymous asked:

What are your thoughts on episode 15?

(i guess u meant ep 14… u almost gave me a heart attack anon)

I didnt like it. It was disappointing. I was really impatient to see what happened after ep 13, my sensitive ass really empathized with Gardy (understand that I was like o(-( for 2 months) so I really wanted to see how everyone would react.

So between the guys who seem to absolutely not realize how horrible and twisted the whole potion thing was, Gardy (whom i love and will protect) who has no reaction whatsoever after being erased from the memory of her family and friends, LEIFTAN’S ATTITUDE (along with the other boys), the important moments that are brushed off because of the excessive use of ellipses, the narrator (???) who is trying to guilt trip us for the destruction of the library and just any intervention from the narrator in general… let’s say that it really wasn’t a good episode.

It’s not like everything was negative in this ep. I liked Caméria and Enthraa, the history classes, the Guard Test (it wasn’t really the moment for that but anyway) and the plot with the smoke monster was not so bad in itself, especially with the QTEs… But I’m still disappointed. It wasn’t the episode I was waiting for.

The most disappointing thing for me was Gardy’s reaction. Like, I get it ! I know they didn’t want her to be depressed for the entire episode. That would have been boring or annoying for some. But we didn’t get any reaction from her ! I saw people say that she’s actually grieving and that she’s still in the denial stage but I don’t see it ! I don’t feel it ! Making her say “I’m stronger than all of this” doesn’t make her strong. It makes her spineless and empty. A character that I can’t relate with. You can choose to be passive-aggressive with the other characters but it’s not enough. The dialogues are awkward and not realistic.

I was against the idea of her running away from the HQ because that would have been a dumb decision. But you know what ? Given her mental state at the moment and knowing that she’s not the brightest person in the world, I would have accepted it. It would still have been a better decision than playing the maid for the people who destroyed your life.

imo, the pov of the guys was unnecessary too. I mean, thank god Ezarel is feeling guilty for what he did ! And why would I care about some hypothetic gf after what he did to me honestly. WHY is this imaginary person more important than Gardy anyway ?? You destroyed the life of another human being, who cares about the (controversial) kiss !! I don’t want to talk about Nev and Val, their reactions are worst than Ezarel’s from what I remember so yeah.

Idk what they’re going to do with ep 15. I still have hope and I still like Eldarya but I’m waiting for it with a lot of apprehension.

i say “i’m seeing a therapist” and he takes a step backwards. why he wants to know. what happened. what made me like this, basically. what was the final step that pushed me safely into the side of scary people like them.

there’s a lot i think about. like how my illnesses effect me outside of the actual symptoms. like beyond the weight there’s a second river to drown in.

i mean we don’t talk about having to stare at employment papers where they ask you to self-identify your problems. that little bead of sweat that forms when you worry - what if i don’t tell them and i need help? what if i tell them and they think i’m a risk factor? what if they won’t give me the job?

we don’t talk about the way some people act when they find out. the ones who are rude about it are one thing. but then there’s those people you thought were your friends who act like you just told them you’re infectious. who become weird and distant and suspicious like a switch flipped. like if they get to close to you, you’ll give it to them.

we learn to be okay with things we overhear on the bus but we never get used to it coming out of the mouth of the people we love. we carry this secret with us like a rotted fruit, clutching it to our bodies. we’re ashamed of our scars in front of our boss. we don’t talk about our panic attacks during lunch breaks. when the cop pulls you over “i’m disassociating” isn’t an excuse we can open the page on. when you watch people make these ranting posts about how real friends always text back, how if someone loves you, they’ll find the time to spend. success stories make other people cry with inspiration while some part of your brain is saying you can’t do that, you’re not like them. things are uglier at the bottom. you can’t explain why you can’t just make friends. you can’t write because you’re depressed but when you’re depressed you write best. you can’t eat today and no don’t ask why please. nevermind taking the train. never mind trying to be happy. never mind reading books and watching movies and wondering where exactly are people like you in hero stories. i watch a video where a man tells me that being depressed is just a mindset. when i wear all black someone remarks i look particularly emo today. it’s 2017 does anyone say emo anymore, i ask her, and she laughs, “you just look like one of those fake-depressed girls.” okay.  

i don’t tell him my therapist is actually why things don’t happen anymore. why i’m getting a handle on it. my tongue feels swollen. i feel embarrassed talking about it. in the highest twist of irony, i think of how many people know my problems anonymously on the internet. i almost spill out all my troubles onto him. instead i tell him it’s just a precaution. that i think everyone should really see a therapist, they’re brain mechanics and we all need a tune-up now and then. he relaxes.

okay. okay. i’m sorry i’m one of them.

... Somehow, Still Talking About This Captain America Shit (Now With Bonus Spider-Man and Agents of SHIELD)

So now Secret Empire has revealed its Shyamalan Twist and given the readers a Good Guy Steve Rogers as well as Hydra Cap, and the kinds of dickbags who, when this whole bullshit began were dismissing people’s complaints with “oh come on, don’t you know how comics works, it’s all going to be put back at the end, blah blah blah…” are crowing I-Told-You-So’s.

But here’s the thing:

Yeah, fucknuts.  We always knew this.

Keep reading

Frost (a langst mini fic )

I don’t really know how to describe this AU besides the fact that lance has ice powers and its a bit short ( @moppingleshitoutofyou ) hope you guys like it!

check out some of my other mini fics here


At first, Lance had thought they were beautiful. He wasn’t exactly sure when they got there or even how they got there, all he knew was that they were lovely.

 The first time he noticed them was when he was changing out of his pajamas and saw a sprinkle of blue gracing his stomach in the mirror. Amazed, he had glanced down and stare at the light blue freckles that dusted his stomach, like a sky full of stars. He remembered how they seemed to glint under the soft lighting in his room like jewels. 

He also remembered the pain that came soon afterwards. 

As soon as his fingertips touched the marks, they began to glow harshly and that was when the stinging began. It felt as if someone was stabbing him with a million thumbtacks, which was not a fun feeling. Yelping, Lance immediately stopped touching his stomach, dulling the sting of the marks. For a second Lance thought he was still asleep because when did freckles stab you? He was pretty sure that was not normal. 

“Paladins! You are needed in the control room, immediately! I repeat, you are needed in the control room immediately!” 

Sparing one last look at the blue marks on his skin, Lance quickly pushed away thoughts on the freckles and focused on the task at hand, getting his paladin gear on in two seconds. After all, it was just a little pain right? And it wasn’t like his hand was going to be on his stomach anyway, so what’s the problem?


It only took a week for the freckles to span across his entire abdomen. Which presented a problem as they team didn’t exactly have time to deal with the marks, especially with the big diplomatic mission they were embarking on soon. Not like the marks cared, they just seemed to cause more trouble. 

Ever since he first noticed them, there’s always been this dull sting in the back of his mind, just barely noticeable but always there. Not only that, Lance seemed to be… freezing things now? Of course he wasn’t turning anything to solid ice but if his hand lingered to long in a certain area, tendrils of frost would begin to dance across the surface (The first time that happened freaked him out just a tad). The freckles also began to glow more often, mostly at random times. He would just be chilling on the couch and BAM, his chest was now a light up display (yet another thing that freaked him out). 

The logical decision would be to tell the team, but how could he? Sure the diplomatic mission was a huge deal, but that wasn’t the only reason Lance wasn’t coming clean about the strange things that were happening. This was his chance to prove his worth to his team, that he was more than just Lance-the-jokester or Lance-the-screwup. That he was worthy of being the Blue Paladin and of Blue herself. 

He could live with a little pain and some weird ice magic if it meant he finally had a thing.  


It took a matter of days before the freckles spread to his arms, stopping a few inches short of his wrists. They were currently on the planet Eyena, a relatively peaceful planet that were known for their mines and the valuable ores within them. Lance couldn’t mess up this meeting, this alliance with a species that could help the team immensely. He wasn’t that selfish. 

It wasn’t like the marks would listen to him though. The pain only worsened and suddenly everything he touched with his hands froze. He was forced to wear gloves constantly to hide the power he now had, the delicate loops of blue that now covered them. The pain was constant and even Blue began to worry at this point. However, Lance put up his brave face and pushed through it all, the pain, the ache, the emptiness…


It felt like only hours before Lance could feel the chill of ice spreading across his body, practically crawling up his throat. There was a ringing in his ears now and he somehow managed to freeze the gloves he wore as well. The only good thing was that the meetings were almost over and soon Lance could be back on the castle, away from prying eyes to finally fix whatever was happening. 

Until then, he nodded along with whatever one of the Eyenians were saying, playing his part as the Blue Paladin and knowing he was slowly, finally becoming worthy of actually being the Blue Paladin. 

How minutes had flown by? Lance couldn’t recall what had happened in the past few moments, as he was now in his room back at the castle. It had only been a few minutes right? Lance could feel his breath quickening as he glanced wildly around, how did he get here in just a few minutes? The room seemed to grow colder with each sharp intake he took, the bed beginning to freeze beneath him. Had it been more than just a few minutes? The ringing was now a roaring storm in his ears. It couldn’t have been than just a few? Lance could feel his hands shaking, the marks glowing a bright blue as the ice spread farther, faster around the room. It had been just a few minutes. Maybe two or three? Lance felt like tearing his hair out, he felt so confused at the moment, so out of place, out of time. 

Was it only seconds now? How many seconds had flown by? He knew his room wasn’t always this cold and shiny, and it certainly hadn’t been a second ago. The marks burned harshly, and was that someone calling his name? It couldn’t have been. Because only a second ago he had been fine, he is fine, is he fine?

2

Farnese de Vandimion & Serpico    団長と紋章官 by  26回転

※Permission to reprint this was given by the artist. Please do not repost without the artist’s permission. If you liked this fanwork, do take the time to rate and bookmark the original work.

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anonymous asked:

I'm 14 going on 15 and I hate how so many people who take a character that was just my age, and make creepy art and fic about him. I'm about to turn his current age and have been propositioned since I was 11 and was always told that adults who try things like that are perverts. So why is it when a bunch of 20 somethings pushing a teen who is around my age into a sexual relationship with an adult and do explicit crap, it's not perverted and gross? What about the teens who are feeling sexualized?

First off, thanks for writing me and being polite in your message. 

The first thing I want to address is this: you should never be made to feel sexualized. Unless it’s with someone you want to be sexual with, like a crush of yours. Even with someone you consider a crush, if you don’t want to feel that way and don’t want to do anything that can be considered sexual (be it even a kiss), you should never feel forced. This is not just now because you’re a teen, this is something that all of us go through and need to keep in mind even in our 20s, 30s and so on.

I’m so sorry that you feel that way in real life because some adults are absolutely disgusting. They are. Adults that prey on children are absolutely disgusting and horrifying and you should call them out, tell your parents or your teachers or the police. I’m not kidding here. I know it’s hard and you might feel like you’re going to be made fun of, or that they won’t believe you, or that they will side with the adult, or that will belittle you and tell you it’s not a big deal. If you tell someone you trust, they won’t do all those things. Go with your guts. Tell, even if someone only threw nasty words at you or catcalled you (and I really hope you never went through anything heavier than that). In those cases there won’t be much that you can do, but telling someone will help.

What I can tell from your message, is that you (subconsciously or not) equate sex with generally being nasty and perverted. This will probably be unnecessary, but I’ll say it anyway: sex is not inherently gross or disgusting or creepy. If you feel that it is, then it means you’re not ready to enter a sexual relationship, and that’s perfectly fine and normal. I won’t tell you that that’s only because of your age, because some people never (or very rarely) show any interest in sex (it’s called asexuality and it falls under the LGBT+ spectrum). Whether you do end up growing to want sex or not doesn’t matter here. 

What matters is that now you clearly don’t want to see sex and anything to do with it in your fandom experience and that’s fine. Tumblr offers you ways to make your experience better and show you only the content you want to see. Block any nsfw tag. Don’t follow blogs whose description clearly states that they post nsfw (like mine). Tumblr is a big and scary place if you just take everything it throws at you (be it ship hate, nsfw stuff, etc). The thing with it is that it can’t cater to everyone’s tastes, so you have to be active about blocking the stuff that YOU don’t want to see. Other 14-going-on-15 year olds might be okay seeing nsfw fanart and posts and that will be their Tumblr experience, but you should definitely take measures to protect yourself from what you don’t want to see. 

Now, the thing about Otayuri is that no matter how you twist it, it’s not illegal to ship it, even in a sexual way. You should definitely read this post about it, because the thing is, as much as we can project our feelings and real-world stuff into anime characters, they’re not real. 

I assure you that if Yuri on Ice was a flesh and bone show things would be different. I don’t really watch any current TV shows with teens in them so I can’t speak for what other fandoms do with their ship, whether they’re sexualized or not. I can only speak for this silly and amazing anime that’s been consuming my life for the past seven months or so.

Anime and cartoon characters are a safe way to explore things about real life. Whether it be sex or depression or anxiety or simply falling in love, we can all identify with an anime character and see our flaws, our fears and our history in them.

The thing you have to remember is that we (I’m speaking for the slightly older part of the fandom since I’m in my twenties) have been Yuri’s age. We’ve very likely had crushes on boys or girls that were a bit younger, our age or slightly older (like Otabek is). So I think for most of us, shipping Otayuri is a way to remember what it feels like to be a teen and be in love/have a huge crush. We will never be that age again, and maybe there’s things we regret not doing, crushes we wish we had confessed. By shipping Otayuri in an active way (meaning: drawing fanart or writing fanfiction) we can explore things we experienced as teens (or wish we had) and pour a little bit of ourselves in Yuri’s (or Otabek’s) character. 

Those things might involve anything from simple fluff or rough sex, because, accept it or not, some people at 15 or 16 were (are) having sex of all kinds. Sweet, loving, rough, vanilla, kinky, you-name-it sex. So not to explore that aspect in a healthy way (through fics or fanart) would be lying about what reality is, it would be denying that we ever thought about or had sex at that age.

Much like with blocking tumblr content, you can choose what kinds of fanfiction you read. Only read General and Teen and Up tagged things, read about fluff and about falling in love in a sweet innocent way. Read anything tagged “Ace!Yuri” (it means asexual, the thing I was telling you about before). 

But please understand this: when we sexualize Yuri, we’re mostly sexualizing our (often past) selves. Not other teens, not other real-life people. Yuri doesn’t exist in real life, and many of us see bits and pieces of ourselves in him. When we write about him we really write about ourselves, be it because we want to see how we (maybe a little sassier and bitchier version of us) would have confessed a crush to our best friend, or would have handled the aftermath of having just shoved our gloved fingers in said best friend’s mouth in front of thousands of people. Fanfiction is a study about versions of ourselves that never existed, but might as well have.

Another thing I need to make clear: Otabek is not an adult. I assure you that the morning of your 18th birthday you won’t feel like an adult. You’ll feel like the you from yesterday and it will be anticlimactic af, you’ll be like “That’s it?” and yeah, it will be it. Just because the law in some country or state says that 18 is the age of consent (which is set to 16 or 14 years old in many other countries) it doesn’t mean that you’re automatically an adult at that age. You can be 18 and have had sex since you were 14. You can be 18 and completely uninterested in sex. You can be 18 and have a 15 year old mental age, or you can be 16 and be mentally more mature than some 20 year olds.

What canon has shown us, is that Yuri and Otabek are much closer to each other’s mental age than the 2 years + a few months difference they share. I encourage you to find posts about why there’s no power imbalance between Yuri and Otabek, because they compete in the same sport and they have had similar experiences in life.

In conclusion, if you feel irked about nsfw fanart and fanfics and discussions when it comes to this particular ship, please don’t read it/watch it. But what I can assure you is that none of us are trying to sexualize you or your peers. When we sexualize pixels on a screen we don’t see those pixels as a flesh and bone version of a human, we only see an idealized character whose age we are or have been and whose personality and experiences we want to safely explore.

Also really important: when we write/draw NSFW, we don’t write/draw it for teens to read. I repeat: WE DON’T CREATE NSFW CONTENT FOR TEENS. We’re not your parents or guardians, we write NSFW for whoever feels like they can handle seeing nsfw content. If you’re a teen that goes on the nsfw tag and then complains about it (I’m not saying that’s what you did here, I’m speaking generally), it’s only your fault for going in a tag that you weren’t comfortable to begin with.

TL;DR: 

  • Speak up if you feel sexualized IRL in a way you don’t like;
  • Learn how to use tumblr safely, block tags, understand that tumblr doesn’t do those things for you. Make your fandom experience exactly the one you want to see;
  • Don’t trust adults who tell you this ship is somehow illegal: it’s not;
  • Understand what’s behind fiction and fanfiction as a way we have to explore real life things (often too personal to write about as ourselves, so we project those things in characters we like);
  • Understand that adulthood is not something that happens from one day to another;
  • Learn to discern what content is meant to be consumed by a teen and what content isn’t;
  • Be safe.
A couple things I’ve learned

just for some babes who may find them useful

1) This shit

Self-adhesive medical tape is one of my new favorite things. I wrap it around the tips of my fingers like a thimble type deal. It doesn’t stick to your skin but stays on your fingers; you can type with it on, and it’s imfuckingpossible to pick while wearing it. You can get a buttload for $12 on amazon here.

2) These fuckers

Look dumb? Heck yeah they do. I use them for mirrors, ‘cause we all know how tricky those are. They occupy both your hands, you can twist them into shapes like the 5-year-old you are, and if both your hands are playing with it, they aren’t skimming your face. You can buy three for $10 here.

3) Whatever the fuck these are

don’t even know what to call them tbh; my therapist gave them to me and I use them while at the computer. You roll them around on your fingers and the spikes sting ever so slightly so be careful if you regularly pick your fingers, but the sensation replaces the sensation you might expect from picking and keeps you aware of your hands so they don’t stray to your skin like the sneaky fuckers they are. You can get a pack of ten for $10 here.


I’ll update with more later on, but these are the main ones I’ve had real success with. The trick is to use them consistently around your typical trigger areas or situations where you pick the most often, so your brain learns to associate those things with the fidget and not with picking. As always, if anyone else has tricks or fidgets that really work for them, don’t hesitate for a nanosecond to add on. Happy healing, you gorgeous little shits you!

Altean!Lance with a twist

So we all see the posts about how Altean!Lance is Allura’s brother, the prince, or even just a common Altean that holds no title, and we all love us some Altean!Lance.

But what about…………..Lance being Haggar’s kid? Like seriously how has no one thought of this!

Lance being born and raised to be a Druid, always following the empire’s orders, always doing what his mother wants to try and get the love and attention he needs; he even went through experimentation at the hands of his mother to get any sort of praise from her, which after everything, she only called him a disappointment of a subject. He trains constantly, both physically and magically for years, hoping that that would get him some sort of affection. He becomes one of the top druids, besides his mother, in the empire and if anyone were to try and take him on in physical combat, they would severely regret it. But After all those years of allowing experiments and following every terrible order from Haggar and Zarkon to try and please his mother, to try and get any sort of acknowledgement from her, he pretty much gives up. He knows what’s expected of him, and he knows that he’ll never get what he truly wants. He accepts that, and just considers it normal behavior by now. He knows the best way to please his mother is by following orders, so that’s what he does.
He’s 13 years old.

Now fast forward 4 years. He gets a new assignment. He has to go to some planet called Earth and infiltrate their government to see if they will be easy to conquer, and if any of the lions are there. Lance agrees without question.

So he goes down to Earth and easily takes the form of human to blend in, and he gets pretty much adopted by the McClain’s, who thought he was a runaway or a street kid. When they ask about his family, he plays it safe and says he doesn’t have any. So of course they take him in and begin raising him like one of their own. Lance is just shocked to see how this family treats each other with such love and kindness and understanding. And when that love and kindness get shown to him, he nearly loses his cool and release his form. While he was able to keep his form the same, his freak it was not so easily hidden, at least not in the the eyes of actual loving parents. They teach him about how family REALLY works. About how much loyalty and support and positivity comes with it. They slowly get him used to physical comfort and along the way Lance realizes that he doesn’t want to leave. He likes it here on Earth, where he’s actually treated as a person, as family. Not some soldier. But Lance is too scared to refuse his mother’s and Zarkon’s orders. He’s seen what they do to traitors and he knows that he won’t be given any mercy just because he’s Haggar’s son. But he also wants to protect these people that have taught him the truth about family and loyalty, he doesn’t want the empire to destroy this world like he’s seen with so many others. Lance doesn’t know what to do.

He goes outside to try and clear his head; which is where his mama (she refused for him to call her anything else besides her first name or mama) and asks him what’s wrong. He wants to tell her everything but he’s not sure if he can tell her; if she’ll believe him or call him crazy or what so he just stays quiet. Mama decides to talk instead, about how much they all love him, about how they’re all so happy they met him and took him in. About how no matter what life may throw at him, no matter how bad, Lance could always come to them. That’s how Lance made up his mind. He’s going to ignore his orders; even if that makes him a traitor to his real mother. He didn’t care. He was going to protect this family. HIS family.

He joins the Garrison to do just that. He plans on making it to fighter pilot and get through the school as fast as he can so he can protect his family faster. Unfortunately, Earth ships are primitive compared to Galran, so Lance doesn’t do so well and ends up in the cargo pilot class. Thus where he meets Hunk and befriends him (most of the effort was from Hunk) and gains abut of a rivalry with Keith since he had beaten Lance’s score by a few points, taking the last spot in the fighter class.

Of course then we lead into episode one, and the team finds the Blue lion, and meeting Allura and Coran, and if that isn’t a surprise to Lance, then I don’t know what is. Of course he still keeps his actual identity a secret, fearing what Allura and Coran would do if they found out who he really was. This is also where Lance is trying to figure out why Blue chose him. He was the son of a traitor to his race. He has helped the Galra in unspeakable ways. He can’t figure out why the Blue Lion chose him.

So Lance is now fighting against the empire he was once apart of, trying to undo the wrongs that have been done to hundreds of others.
All the while trying to hide himself from Haggar and Zarkon, at least for as long as he can. He knows one day, the beans are gonna spill, and it will not end well. But he’ll do his best to give himself some time to figure out how to tell the team the truth about himself and his past.

Selling his soul

I am particularly wary of arguments suggesting that Dean selling his own soul was problematic (wrong, reprehensible, ect) because it somehow wronged Sam (As if he had no “right” to do what he did or as if it were a self-serving action that harmed Sam/ threw Sam under the bus specifically). Which too often is how it’s framed. While Sam was undoubtedly affected by Dean’s decision, shouldn’t “murdering yourself in order to save someone else’s life” be an action that deserves scrutiny for its own sake? Is murdering yourself to save a life a wrong or immoral action? Why or why not? The idea that it’s wrong only or mainly because the person who’s life you save may feel bad about your sacrifice, rings incredibly false and short-sighted, to me. We aren’t just talking about suicide, but sacrificing your life for the sake of another life. If we are to say this action is truly wrong and should never be done, I think we’re going to need a bit more of a reason for condemning this action than “the saved person may feel bad.”

This is a complicated question and I hate seeing that diminished. On one hand saving a life/ making the ultimate sacrifice for someone you love is considered by many to be a beautiful, even noble action. This is not an uncommon theme in fiction, and few would judge someone harshly for doing so in reality. Many parents who love their kids, for example, may be apt to sacrifice their lives to save their child’s, or even for the uncertain possibility of saving it (I once heard a broadcast about a woman who fed her daughter her own blood in attempts to save her when they were trapped without water. I never once thought, “what cruel and selfish woman. Instead of dying mercifully, the girl will now feel guilt!!”)

Certainly, they realize their deaths will cause sorrow, but when the choice comes down to their life, or the life of their child, many, many parents would chose to sacrifice their own instead. Some would similarly die to save their lovers or siblings, or even their friends. The sentiment is far from unheard of. It may, in fact, be argued that this is a very human response toward those one cares very deeply for. It need not be universal, to be universally recognizable or accepted.

On the other hand, there IS something disturbing about Dean’s sacrifice in this S3. However, I feel that the gravity of the issue has little to do with Dean’s death making Sam feel bad. And more to do with the context. It was more than a “I pushed you out of the way of a speeding care and took the hit instead” or even an “I jumped in from of a firing gun aimed in your direction” type scenario. One reason it’s disturbing, here (to me at least), is that this sacrifice comes from a person who’s constantly had his own well-being devalued by those around him, who’s been conditioned since early childhood to sacrifice for others, Sam especially. Because of this, it’s difficult to deny said conditioning was likely a significant factor in Dean’s decision to kill himself to save Sam, and there’s something disturbing about that. Was it pure love, or the lifetime of psychological abuse that led to Dean’s decision? The possibility that it might be, even partially, the latter is disquieting, for Dean’s sake. As this is not the type of action, one ought to feel forced or guilted into.

Then there is the issue of hell itself, in that Dean not only loses his life in this deal, he also subjects himself to eternal pain, abuse, and suffering. The selling of one’s soul in this case is FAR more than a life for a life. Dean did not merely agree to die in order to save Sam. He knowingly agreed to suffer unimaginable and endless agony and violation at the hands of the most sadistic creatures in existence. This alone complicates the question significantly. And that’s without all of the philosophical implications surrounding the concept of the soul.

Sadly, the narrative itself only passingly addresses these things and at times diverts focus to a third issue, the discussion of a “natural order,” of some sort. This question is based on the fact that Sam was already dead and the deal revived him. Was that then, a form of playing god? At times the narrative suggests this. However, I also find this discussion to be missing the mark for several reasons. One being that their particular interpretation of “natural order” in modern society is violated everyday with support from the majority of the community, as doctors work to revive those who’ve died whenever possible.  Sam was recently dead. This was not a question of changing history or living forever, even, but more one of reviving someone who’s recently passed away from an injury or other unnatural cause. If the show wants to suggest this is somehow wrong, they’re going to need to do a bit more work to convince us why.

Another issue is that the show itself violates its own rules far too often, praising a violation of their so called “natural order” just as often as condemning it, and worse, depending on that violation for the sake of the narrative. Both boys are resurrected multiple times, almost ad nauseum, as are other characters. Yet the show tries to look down on this, while also promoting it. For example, the character, Death, condemns resurrection, but then himself actively participates in making it happen again and again. So, clearly it’s not SO bad, if he not only doesn’t put a stop to it, but himself encourages it when it proves useful.

This is why I feel such arguments fall flat. If we’re going to judge this action, a more reasonable objection (imho) would be the question of whether or not Dean’s choice was actually a choice, and not mainly the result of a lifetime of psychological/ emotional abuse and conditioning. And there’s always the question of the sanctity of a human soul and whether it’s fundamentally wrong to sell it, even if it is yours to sell, (similar to the question of the sanctity of human life and if it’s fundamentally wrong to end it, even if it’s yours to end). Or even perhaps whether there is an important difference between risking your life in the heat of the moment and seriously, contemplatively choosing to not only murder yourself but suffer hell in to save another’s life.

It bothers me then that these discussions are reduced to, “Dean was being selfish and mean to Sammy,” an argument that makes little sense in context here or elsewhere.