(Super-fast idea, because I found this picture and, after laughing at the Sheriff’s face for two minutes straight, the idea hit me straight in the face)
Several years in the future, Derek and the Sheriff are kind of buddies.
Derek is now a consultant for the Beacon Hills police for any kind of supernatural crime or when they need his super sniffer in critical emergencies (Derek found the lost little girl almost immediately, while the K9 unit from the next town was still lost in the woods. The Sheriff was so proud. They never talk about the fact that they had to circle the town in John’s police car, Derek’s head hanging out of the window like a poodle on a roadtrip).
So John and Derek sometimes hang out, watch football match together, they have a beer, talk about Stiles’ news from college. They enjoy each other’s company in a very quiet, simple way.
Then, Stiles comes back to Beacon Hills for Christmas, and immediately comes out as bisexual to his dad.
The Sheriff blinks, then hugs him.
And that should be the end of it. John is genuinely glad that Stiles told him, and happy that he seems to grow up happy in his own skin.
John honestly doesn’t mean to search stuffs online, but he’s bored, and one innocent question about LGBT rights in California turn into a quick google search and quickly devolve into a spiral of links. John falls deep. Too deep.
He manages to keeps his anxiety at bay all the way to Derek’s home, and his knocks on the door are barely frantic. But Derek opens the door as if he is expecting the Sheriff to be on fire, so John guesses that he didn’t control his panic-stricken heartbeat as well as he thought.
After a few minutes of assuring Derek that no, Stiles is fine, John is fine, everyone is fine, no Stiles isn’t hurt, nobody’s kid got missing again, Melissa is fine, there is no monster eating anyone, Stiles is totally ok, and getting a glass of perfectly good whisky from Derek (who apparently keeps it around just for John), John finally explains.
Because Derek? Derek is bisexual.
They have talked about it in passing
several times. Talked about Derek’s ex, Jeff, who used to be a cop in New Jersey until he got
shot on duty and became a teacher. Talked of the creep Derek had to call the police on one night while he was drinking at the Jungle
and despairing over the shitty techno music. Talked about the association for LGBT kids Derek gives money to, and that he goes help from times to times.
To the Sheriff, it never seemed like a detail more important than knowing that Derek hates cheap beer or that he is a sore loser when his sport team gets slaughtered.
But now, now it is important. Because the Sheriff needs someone with answers, precise answers, about things that he can’t ask directly to his kid.
About giant sex toys and trips to the ER and drugs use and STDs and biphobia and bullying.
He kind of blurt it all. Derek’s eyes look gigantic and his eyebrows almost fly off his forehead.
So that’s how Derek becomes the Sheriff’s mentor in everything LGBT.
It’s not as weird as it could be.
Derek answers all the questions as best as he can, tries to reassure him. When he doesn’t know (and he wonders where the Sheriff got these informations), they look for answers together online, while staying far away from certain websites.
(All the while, Derek tries to ignore really, really hard, that Stiles is bisexual and apparently single. He fails).
Then maybe the Sheriff brings Derek back home in the hope that Derek will talk to Stiles about all these stuffs (because he’s not sure he has mastered the details enough to give the bisexual version of the Talk. Also, the image of the humongous dildo is still haunting him).
So they end up all around the kitchen table, Stiles looking bewildered and a little bit lost, Derek resigned and awkward and the Sheriff looking at them with crazy eyes (again, gigantic dildo. And ER trips. Melissa works there, this can never happen to them) until they start talking.
Stiles knows all those things. Derek knows that Stiles knows. They talk about it anyway because, well, the Sheriff is starting to turn grey in worry.
After a little while, Stiles finally understands that Derek
is talking from experience. That Derek is bisexual. And single.
And Derek knows that Stiles is bisexual. And single.
The awkwardness quickly turns to vague innuendos, then obvious flirting, then eyefucking over mugs of coffee.
The Sheriff gets his colors back progressively. He wonders for a second if he should protest this development (the whole, 7 years older and a werewolf thing could be a problem), but really, Derek is a great man.
And he apparently knows how to use lube,
condoms, and would never be stupid enough to use a gigantic dildo then lose it
somewhere in his son.
All in all, he’s ok with the direction this whole thing is taking.