(Super-fast idea, because I found this picture and after laughing at the Sheriff’s face for two minutes straight, the idea hit me straight in the face)
Several years in the future, Derek and the Sheriff are kind of buddies.
Derek is a consultant for the Beacon Hills police when any kind of supernatural crime occurs, or when they need his super sniffer in critical urgencies (Derek found the lost little girl almost immediately, while the K9 unit from the next town was still lost in the wood. The Sheriff was proud. They never talk about the fact that they had to circle the town in the John’s police car, Derek’s head hanging out of the window like a poodle on a roadtrip).
So the John and Derek sometimes hang out, they watch football match together, they have a beer, they talk about Stiles’ news from college. They enjoy each other’s company in a very quiet, simple way.
Then, Stiles comes back to Beacon Hills for Christmas, and immediately comes out as bisexual to his dad.
The Sheriff blinks, then hugs him. And that should be the end of it. He is genuinely glad that Stiles told him, and happy that he seems to grow up happy in his own skin.
John honestly doesn’t mean to search stuffs online, but he’s bored, and one innocent question about LGBT rights typed into google quickly devolve into following all kind of links and falling deep. Too deep.
He manages to keeps the anxiety at bay all the way to Derek’s home, and his knock on the door is barely frantic. But Derek opens the door as if he was expecting the Sheriff to be on fire, so John guesses that he didn’t control his panic-stricken heartbeat as well as he thought.
After a few minutes of assuring Derek that no, Stiles is fine, John is fine, everyone is fine, no Stiles isn’t hurt, nobody’s kid got missing again, Melissa is fine, there is no monster eating anyone, Stiles is totally ok, and getting a glass of perfectly good whisky from Derek (who apparently keeps it around just for John), John finally explains.
Because Derek? Derek is bisexual.
They have talked about it in passing several times. Derek’s ex, Jeff, used to be a cop in New Jersey until he got shot in duty and became a teacher. Derek spends some nights drinking at the Jungle and he glared while talking about shitty techno music. Derek gives money to an association for LGBT kids and go there to help sometimes.
To the Sheriff, it never seemed like a detail more important than knowing that Derek hates cheap beer or that he is a sore loser when his sport team get slaughtered.
But now, now it is important. Because the Sheriff needs someone with answers, precise answers, about things that he can ask directly to his kid.
About giant sex toys and trip to the ER and drugs use and STDs and biphobia and bullying.
He kind of blurt it all. Derek’s eyes look gigantic and his eyebrows almost fly off his forehead.
So that’s how Derek becomes the Sheriff’s mentor in everything LGBT.
It’s not as weird as it could be.
Derek answers all his questions as best as he can, tries to reassure him and, when he doesn’t know, they look for information together online while staying far away from certain websites.
(all the while, Derek tries to ignores really, really hard, that Stiles is bisexual and apparently single. It’s impossible).
Then I don’t know.
Maybe the Sheriff brings Derek back home in the hope that Derek will talk with Stiles about all these stuffs (because he’s not sure he has mastered the details enough to give the bisexual version of the Talk, and also, the image of the gigantic dildo is still haunting him).
So they end up all around the kitchen table, Stiles looking bewildered, Derek resigned and awkward and the Sheriff looking at them with crazy eyes (again, gigantic dildo. And ER trips. Melissa works there, this can never happen to him) until they start talking.
Stiles knows all those things. Derek knows that Stiles knows. They talk about it anyway because, well, the Sheriff look kind of grey in worry.
Then Stiles finally understands that Derek is bisexual. And single. And Derek knows that Stiles is bisexual. And single. The awkwardness quickly turns to vague innuendo, then overt flirting, then eyefucking over mugs of coffee.
The Sheriff gets his colors back progressively. He wonders for a second if he should protest this development (the whole, 7 years older and a werewolf thing may be a problem), but really, Derek is a great man.
And he apparently knows how to use lube, condoms, and would never be stupid enough to use a gigantic dildo then lose it somewhere in his son.
All in all, he’s ok with the direction this whole thing is taking.