how to speak giraffe

What to do if You Become Treed by Giraffes

1. Remain still, as any movement —ANY AT ALL — will result in an immediate and horrible death by giraffe

2. Activate silent giraffe alarm, wait for authorities to arrive

3. Thank lucky stars you learned how to speak giraffe, beg  forgiveness

4. Hold on until winter; giraffes will freeze, can be broken into a million pieces

5. Remember that giraffes kind of have a thing for humans, or is that sea turtles

Everything can be fixed with ice cream.

Hello, love bugs!
Phil x reader fluff request.
Send them my way.

Ok, so what if reader is on her period and she has a really low pain tolerance so she is very miserable and Phil (her bf) decides to try and cheer her up, earning quite a few glares (and secret giggles)? And like lots of fluff plz?-iluvharrypotterr

You are being punished. This isn’t the kind of punishment you like. This is torture. Were you being dramatic? Maybe, but your everything hurt. Your nipples were sensitive from rubbing against your bra. Your lower back felt like every five minutes you were being stabbed. Every time you moved or stood up if felt like you were peeing yourself. Yes, that’s a lot of information but you know what else. You hadn’t pooped in two days. That’s information folks. You’re just very crabby to top it all off. This would be the ideal day to stay at home under the covers. Phil had asked if we would come to his haircut appointment. You felt like you never got to have just time as the two of you so come hell or high water you were going to enjoy yourself. Your face, however, didn’t scream joy as much as pain.

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