how to shake the other man

2

Magnus: 1st Even fan, 1st Evak stan *

How To Become A God For Beginners

Make a mosiac of those bedraggled bones, swallow cloudfulls of sky and roast stars on

open fires. Kiss like the whole world’s fate depends on the friction of your lips. Shake

hands with the dead-eyed ghost in the mirror, tell her you’re sorry, tell her you’re trying. Tell

her that some days are sparks of nothings, how some are droughts and others torrential. Sever

all ties with boys who bloom like bad dreams and stop biting your nails. Don’t waste your time

on wasps with katanas for teeth. See how long you can hold your breath underwater. Let the

light slurp up your rose-flaked skin. Take the small risk of stepping outside. Remember, there

are no comfort zones, to a God, everywhere is no man’s land, a warren to walk free. Apologize,

no being is perfect, and immortality often comes at the price of one’s soul. Take the night

by its stuttering reigns, zip its mouth shut. The darkness is a mere blot on your shirt, and your

shirt needs a good wash. Rekindle the hopes you’d thought you’d lost, Gods never give up.

Watch the world with fresh eyes, in you flow a million veins, in you stutter a million heartbeats,

so many churches to fill. Don’t pick at your scars, eat them. Now that you’ve ingested them,

they’re harmless. They’re trapped. Color your hair and give your body the gift of sleep. Hold

your own hand, hug a tree. You don’t have to scale the side of a mountain or hold the weight

of Atlantis to make a difference, to leave a mark. Remember that the best stories come from

drowned cities. Remember you’re a kingpin with wings handcrafted by angels. Remember

that the moon withers with you, that a firefly goes out everytime you drop your hurting head.

Remember the tides look to you for their lovesick cues, that the desert found a safe

place to sleep in you. Remember that, when you’re a God, the morning always comes.

it fucks me up to think that current alpha canon John Egbert not only met the game over timeline Dave and Karkat, but spent hours with them recounting their respective trips on the meteor/golden ship, like, I wonder if he ever just looks at dave and karkat now like ………………….man. All those stories of how dramatic their trip was and fighting over Terezi and how tense and different they were 

I wonder if he ever recounts stories their own alternate selves told him, and Dave and Karkat look at each other rolling their eyes like “sound fake but ok”

ioi’s dancing queen chungha is set for a solo debut soon and I (total chungha trash) have rlly high expectations for her solo career and here’s why

  • she is so talented!!! shes a such a great dancer like ??? definitely one of the best rookie girl dancers
  • shes a choreographer! she made the choreo for both bang bang and whatta man. fun fact: 2 other choreographers were considered but they chose chungha bc hers were “deemed to be the highest quality” 
  • her singing is good too. she’s no luna or ailee but she can absolutely hold a note well (see her cover taeyeons parts in shake that brass with amber at kcon here)  
  • she managed to survive produce 101 with no attitude scandals even though mnet is notorious for evil editing
  • this may sound strange at first but bare with me: she isn’t too relatable and fun. okay so you know how some celebs rise to the top because they are known for being “cool” and “real” and “relatable” such as jennifer lawrence or hani to name a few? but then ppl get tired of it and call them fake and everyone turns on them (I know hani still has many many fans but there are a shit ton of ppl who don’t like her bc of her personality)? now I know jlaw is problematic so her case is different than hani’s, but even before the masses were realizing how low key shitty she is, a lot of ppl turned away bc they were tired of her “cool gal” shtick. chungha isn’t going for that concept, therefore its less likely that a similar situation will start a mass disliking of her
  • ummm shes gorgeous?? I’m not even gonna provide pics
  • ha ha I lied here you go. feast your eyes upon queen chungha 
  • she is fluent in english bc she studied in texas, therefore she will have an easier time communicating with her (english speaking) international fans
  • she reminds me of hyuna in many ways. they both have a fierce sexy image on stage but are total cinnamon rolls of stage. this is good because it means you can anticipate amazing performances full of confidence but they are still approachable any other time 
  • her stunning visuals, abundance of talent, work ethic, and nice personality are a hit combination. as long as she doesn’t get screwed over with a sucky song then she could be one of the next biggest soloists in due time.

pls support chungha when she debuts. she is from a super nugu company and will need all of the support she can get to see good results that she deserves

Endless Nights, Endless Cries

To say that Atsushi was surprised…was an understatement.

In fact, he was far too shock to even recognize the mixture of feelings dwelling up inside his chest, throbbing, aching, shouting. It had only been a few minutes since his mind registered the soft yet broken sound lingering around his ears, though the pain in his heart felt like it had always been there from the very beginning. The white-haired teen felt himself shaking, losing his breath even—and all he could do was stare at the young man, his mind as blank as ever.

Beside him, Akutagawa was burying his face on the palm of his hands. A few hiccups escaped his lips, followed by string of coughs, but to Atsushi it sounds more like an excuse to try to hide the sobs coming out from his own mouth. From his view, the detective could not see the tiny droplets of tears soaking the other’s pale face, or how it painted his cheeks in an inartistic portrait. The muffled sobs he heard was heartbreaking enough that Atsushi thought he’d break down as well if he saw the other unclasp his hands from his face.

It wasn’t the first time Atsushi saw him had nightmare, and he’s certain it would be far from the last. And though he had seen him struggling to forget loads of bad dreams in the past, that was the first time he saw Akutagawa cry, show vulnerability in front of someone he had considered a rival before all these secret meetings ever happened.

Atsushi didn’t even know how it all started—or how his supposed enemy Mafioso became his lover after declarations of hatred and promised revenge. All he knew was that one day, Akutagawa let him see past his stoic face and nonchalance, lips against lips in a comforting rhythm he allowed himself to listen to. And though they might be in different sides of values, or even grew up believing different versions of what’s right, their hearts still beat for each other’s name and maybe, that was all that mattered—for now.

Akutagawa inched closer to his lover, prying his hands away from his eyes. He snuggled his face over the other’s chest, seeking for certain comfort he’d been yearning for ever since the night chased the sun away. The white-haired male wrapped his arms around the other’s waist in retaliation, whispering soft promises to his skin in the fortress of their shared futon.

The former tipped his head back, revealing his swollen eyes for Atsushi to see. Black irises slowly rose to meet heterochromatic ones, silently pleading him to tell him everything’s going to be okay, that there’s still something human inside him.

He held his hands.

“You’re still with me, Akutagawa. I’m here for you, okay?”

He kissed him on the forehead.
“Your scars will remain scars, you can’t erase them. They’re a part of you and the only thing you can do is prevent them from ruining what you are now. It’s going to be okay, trust me.” A smile appeared on his face, on normal occasions it would have been returned with equal fondness from his lover, yet today was not the day. Instead, Akutagawa snapped—creating some distance between them.

“How can you say everything’s going to be okay?!” Ironic. Because just a minute ago, he’d been dreading for Atsushi to say those exact words. “You don’t understand. Unlike you, I’m unwanted. Nobody cares about me.”

His face broke into a laugh, bitter tears spilling from his black orbs in queue. For a moment, Atsushi wondered whether he said the right words or if he just made it worse. He clenched his fists, enough to draw crimson red from his palms.

“You received Dazai-san’s acknowledgement effortlessly. One thing I’ve always wanted, yet…I’m still here. Still too far for him to see.” He closed his eyelids, feeling the liquid warming up his entire body. He might be powerful, but he’s still a human. He might be nonchalant, but he’s still a human. He might be considered heartless, but he’s still a human. He might be a Mafioso, but he’s still a human.

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke is a human, yet he’s a monster to people’s eyes.

A monster, undeserving of love.

“I wish I can take your pain away. I really do.” Atsushi whispered, burying his head on the former’s torso. There it is again, his soft voice soothing the rage within Akutagawa, something touching his stoned heart. He’d always been weak for Atsushi, always searching for the warmth only the man-tiger could provide. Their hands locked together as if they had done the same thing a million times before. Through the touch, they burned—though they can never pull away.

“You told me my past doesn’t have anything to do with me anymore, right? The same could be said to you. You have to let go, Akutagawa…” He breathed the other’s scent. “Let go, and I’d be here to catch you.” The detective promised.

The tears escaped once more, accompanied by the red tint on his cheeks.

“I love you. You know that, right?” Atsushi‘s voice held sincerity, and wasn’t that the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard?

He met his lips on a chaste kiss then, breathing nothing but each other’s honesty. He touched his cheeks tenderly, sweeping away his bangs to tuck behind his ears. Everything seemed beautiful, perfect even—and in their own little world, nothing existed but the two of them staring at each other affectionately. No past, no Dazai-san, just Atsushi and Akutagawa in the confines of their love and comforting words.

Atsushi fell asleep just a few beats after the exchange. He ran his his fingers through the other’s fluffy hair, feeling the soft tendrils tickling the palm of his hands. His warm breath touched the bridge of his nose, easing, calming.

And maybe outside their shared bedroom, there were wars. There might be people fighting for their lives, or struggling to find the home they never had. Someone out there might even be getting himself drunk, waiting for his lover to come back, but really, who cares? As the past may continue to hurt the both of them, or how ghosts chase him in the dimness of his existence, he knew. He knew Atsushi would always be there for him—and no amount of scars was going to change that.

“Good night, Atsushi.”

And in that moment, Akutagawa prayed Atsushi will be forever his.

[END]

NOTE: So here’s my contribution for the Akuatsu week, Day 3: Recovery! Um, I hope you guys like it and I’m so so so sorry for how shitty this is. //hides

3

Requested by @imjustanerdyfangirl.

You knew that after everything that happened with Negan over the course of the day that Rick needed some time to unwind. It had been just a couple hours that the other man was in Alexandria, but his entire presence seemed to bring quite the darkness over the entire compound. And Rick was the one left to pick up the pieces, not letting anyone else help as that’s how guilty he felt for everything going on. 

So it was the least you could do to make this meal for him. It seemed like there was so much to choose from there in Alexandria versus when you all had been on the road eating dogs and rodents. You had to shake those thoughts from yourself because that was the last thing you wanted to think about as you finished up the meal of pasta and vegetables. 

Carl was the one who let you into the house and you made sure to get him a big bowl of steaming food to take with him as you set the table for Rick once he got there. When you heard his footsteps, you went to open the door for him, glancing at the surprised look on his face. Grinning you took his arm and tugged him into the other room without a word, not giving him room to argue. He looked even more surprised when he saw the meal you made than he had when he saw you in his house. 

“Sit and eat,” you demanded gently, tugging his weapons out of his hands to set aside before pushing him down into his chair. “And don’t move until it’s all gone.” You smiled and slid into the seat across from him. This was all his meal so you didn’t have any plate for yourself, even though your stomach growled. 

“Yes, Mom,” he said with a playful grin as he took a bite and hummed with delight at the delicious flavor, making you grin. He glanced at you, frowning. “Aren’t you going to eat?” 

You shake your head. “This is your meal. So eat.” 

He studied you for another moment before sitting back and shaking his head. “Not unless you eat, too.” You wanted to argue, but the look on his face told you that there was no talking with him. He wasn’t going to be swayed and so you sighed, giving in and getting up to get a plate and a fork to get your own meal. 

Silently you both ate and your stomach thanked you for it. Admittedly it was extremely delicious and you patted yourself on the back for a job well done, and so between you and Rick–and Carl who came down for seconds before disappearing again–the bowl was cleaned out and together you worked on washing up the dishes. 

“Thank you,” Rick said simply, causing you to smile as you stacked the plates in the dish drainer. 

“You’re welcome.”

To the man I fall asleep next to:
Some days I will wake up in a cold sweat
Panting Tiredly Startled Delirious
Ptsd doesn’t always haunt those who wear camo overseas
But I know how to treat you like a bomb shelter
I will shake you awake when I remember you are there
Because my panic attacks are silent alarms and I feel bad asking for help
I am warrior, victim, and villain all in one and some battle cries are louder than others
My body a house fire, my body a burn victim, my body thinks how familiar this pain is, at least I know how it ends
You hold me, tell me to go back to sleep, I’m safe now
I may feel like ashes, but that’s how phoeniexs are birthed
And you ask why I welcome my insomnia
I tell you it’s hard enough battling my demons in the sunlight, damage control is a muscle memory I’ve mastered but only because I can see my auto pilot
And when I fall asleep at the wheel there’s no telling what train wreck I dream up
How sometimes my trauma posses me into a sleep paralysis and i wake up apologizing 
I’m sorry is the loudest cry for help I know how to say out loud because
I cannot wake up without my life flashing before my eyes
I cannot wake up without seeing all of my abusers
And sometimes I mix up reality
A lot of my memory is still missing
But when you overdose twice that’s just a part of the side effects
Sometimes I feel more like a side effect than a girlfriend
You assure me I’m no longer a side chick, tell me to just accept my past instead of moving on
But my disorders are still moving in
And you missed the point entirely
And when I go days without bathing, hardly going into my bathroom at all
Remember that sometimes that floor
Has been more of an intimate lover than you could ever hope to be
More times than not my mirror is not kind to me
And some times showering feels like punishment, when I instinctively leave the nozzle on cold because it burns extra calories
I can’t find the trenches I made of my rib cages and that scares me
I let your hands become a pearl necklace and I breath into your neck like my harbor
I never said I was good at picking,bomb shelters
But the sex is a really great distraction
Even though you fall asleep after climaxes and my big o is more like a smoke ring
A cloud 9 that blurs my thoughts and I want you to smoke me out because
There is a war in my head and I am tired of fighting
Sometimes I am just sad with no verbal explanation
I’ve been trained to never have a good enough reason
After all, a good soldier knows how to not let the truth be tortured out of them,no matter how kindly you ask what’s wrong
And I know a lot of the days it feels like 1 step forward then 3 step back, but that’s how post traumatic growth works
Id just like you to know that your smile still turns my survivors guilt into appreciation
And I’m not good at communicating outside of poetry
So you can either love me as a survivor or not at all
—  If I Love You Like a Bomb Shelter, Will You Love Me as a Prisoner? // t.p.g
“Ancient dragons, man.”

I don’t know how many times someone said that during the Chroma Conclave arc. (Critrolestats might, but I’m not going to ask because I’m being rhetorical.) Someone would express disbelief and indignation about a legendary resistance or an obscenely high save roll or excuse me, how much damage?!, and Matt would just shake his head with a mix of sympathy and resignation. “Ancient dragons, man.” It wasn’t even always Matt; the others had picked it up by the end, which made sense because it summed the situation up nicely: This is massive and overwhelming, and I know it sucks. But it’s not going to stop being massive and overwhelming. All you can do is keep going. It was a useful phrase.

And it still is. It’s crept into my head, now, and it’s made itself the thing I say to myself when everything is too much and I need a moment, especially at work. Returns line six deep and nobody’s responding to my backup calls? Ancient dragons, man. Back room piled with layers of crap that are approaching “how do you actually expect me to walk down here” and should have been taken care of long before my shift started? Ancient dragons, man. Personnel has decided I need a schedule that completely destroys my sleep cycle? Ancient dragons, man. I’m sure it was meant with only the deepest, most cynical sarcasm the first time I said it, but it really does help. It’s a way for me to take a step back an acknowledge being overwhelmed, and then it pushes me forward again. I know this sucks. Keep going. And I do.

And eventually, even ancient dragons will fall.

I would just like to say that I think Father G is a great man who is smart and still keeps faith in the apocalypse even though it may be naive to not do certain things - like kill others - I think he is well aware of when it is necessary.

I really want to shake his hand and thank him for loudly providing some sort of platform for Rick to find his feet again - and maybe some hope - because I’m pretty sure Rick is aware that Carl and Michonne have faith in him, but isn’t often reminded of how the others in the group feel.
So to have Father G say he has ‘faith in him’ and to hear the little pick me up when Rick said 'maybe it will turn around’ was very important and I love knowing that it set off something positive in him.

Smutfest Day 1: Toys. "Talk Dirty"

Smutfest Day #1: Toys @tpthvegebulsmutfest

oooOooo “And I’ve asked him several times to do it, but each time he gives me a different excuse. The last time he said that he had just eaten tacos and it would be weird!”

“Really?” Bulma Briefs sat back in her plush purple loveseat, tossing one of her shapely legs over the other as she narrowed her eyes. Placing a well manicured nail under her chin as she rested her elbow on the armrest, she continued, “so just how old is this man child you’re dating?”

The audience chuckled at her slick reply, and then growing silent as the brown haired, mousey young woman cleared her throat, smiling shyly. “He’s 28.” Bulma scoffed, shaking her head. “Well that’s absurd. Oh would you look at me, being rude. I’m sorry, would you continue on, dearie?”

The woman nodded, fidgeting with the microphone. “Well,it’s just that all of my girlfriends keep talking about how amazing oral is, and I just want to know what it feels like.”

Bulma’s eyes widened as she looked at the woman in awe. “Wait, are you telling me you’ve never experienced oral sex before?” The woman nodded, her cheeks turning into cherries. “We’ve been together since we were 16. We lost our virginities to each other.”

The audience ‘awwwed’ her confession, prompting the woman to smile sweetly. “And he’s great, don’t get me wrong, but he never wants to try anything new. So how do I coax him into…you know…going down on me?” She sashayed her hips suggestively, making the audience whoop and holler in theatrics. Bulma laughed, gesturing the audience to quiet down with her hands.

“Well, honey, if there’s one rule I have in the Bulma Briefs world of sex, it’s this: if he’s not making me come, then he’s gotta go.”

The audience cheered her on, and she smirked at her own cleverness. The woman chuckled into the microphone, before her facial expression turned sad. “I don’t want to break up with him. I just want him to wow me in the bedroom, you know what I’m saying?”

“Tell me, where is man-friend-dearest?”

The woman’s mouth opened as she fumbled over her words, at a loss. She resorted to shrugging and the audience moaned in warning. Bulma clicked her teeth.

“Does he know you’re joining us today? “

“No. I don’t recall telling him.” “And what’s the possibility that he’s getting off somewhere else right now?”

A few audience members whispered among themselves, a few suggesting the girl ‘leave that man alone!’. She looked down at the feet before glancing up at Bulma. “Honestly, “ she said softly, as if they were two teenage friends sharing secrets over popcorn and nail polish, “I wouldn’t be surprised if he was. He’s never around anymore, emotionally or physically. “

Bulma shook her head as the audience pitied her with their words. “Poor thing,” Bulma gave her a reassuring smile, “I think it’s time for you to get yours, do you know what I’m saying? “

The audience agreed with her as they clapped, and the mousey woman laughed again. “But how? Who would want me? I’m not a sex goddess like you, Bulma.”

Bulma tilted her head and smiled warmly, tossing her hands in her lap as if she was speaking with one of her oldest friends. “Are you kidding me? You are a brickhouse. Look at those curves, and those breasts and…turn around for me?” She did and an Bulma threw her head back. “And that ass! It’s the bomb.tumblr.com! Girl, you better believe in yourself! Am I right, men in the audience? Doesn’t she just make your cocks hard?”

The men in the room yelped and yodled, the woman blushing and tucking a chocolate curl behind her ear.

“See what I’m saying? I sure you’ll have no problem finding someone to give you some oral tonight, sweetheart. Any single men in the room want to try to woo the pants off of this beauty?” The response was immediate, and one of the men sitting close to the woman grabbed her hand and kissed it, flexing off his muscled arms and toned chest. She giggled and he brought her down to his lap, kissing her on the cheek.

“Well,” Bulma breathed, “I hope I get a good gift for Christmas this year. Because that was magical.” The camera man signaled that the end of the show was approaching, putting up Bulma’s cue cards to wrap things off. She waved him off with a wiggle of her eye brow. She had been doing this a long time, and cue cards were for amateurs. “Well my spicy men and women, it looks like that’s all the time we have for today. Next week we’ll be having our on air correspondent, Lemoli, discussing her weekend of fun in trying out the new sex toy line from Purrrfect Pleasures. Meow, amirite? I’m sure that’ll be a delicious time, so I hope you’ll all join me for another rendezvous. I’m Dr. Bulma Briefs, and this has been another episode of Sex Talk with Bulma. And remember guys, get yours…?” She pointed at the audience.

“Because Bulma Briefs sure the hell will!”They shouted in unison before breaking into dance as the outro song played over the intercom.

“And cut!” The camera man called, finishing the film. Bulma took a sip of water and stood up, rounding the stage to the back room. Today had been a long session of taping, and she saw chamomile tea and a soothing neck pillow in her immediate future.

“Great job today, Bulma!”

“I’m sure you’ve made that lady have a great night!”

“The producer says that we had the biggest ratings this episode! He projects next week will have an even bigger audience. People love sex toys!”

The behind the scenes crew spoke their words of approval to Bulma as she walked down the long gray hallway, and she gave them all a bit of small talk with a side of smile. God, she loved this job, and she loved even more that she could be herself, free of any shame that came with being a modern day business woman who loved the boardroom as well as the bedroom. Too bad that her current state of the bedroom involved herself, her hand, and a distinctive playlist on her favorite porn website. The world may have been ready for someone like her, but it didn’t seem like the dating world was.

She entered her dressing room, the cool air and smell if roses wrapping her into a cocoon of bliss. She sighed, plopping down on the sofa and removing her cherry red heels. Perhaps a nap was in order first. She had just closed her eyes when a knock at the door interrupted her peace. She pinched the bridge of her nose and groaned. “Come in,” She said nasally.

The producer of Sex Talk with Bulma entered, carrying a box wrapped with a pink ribbon. He scowled and mumbled as he sat the heavy thing on a nearby counter, shaking his head.

“Uh, oh, I know that look,” Bulma stood up, crossing her arms under the fabric of her black curve hugging mini dress, “What’s wrong, Vegeta?”

He looked at her from the side of his eye and scoffed. “You see this shit? “ He pointed at the box.

She nodded. “What about it? Finally got off your high horse a d bought me a gift?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. This is the box of sex toys from Purrrfect Pleasures that our dear Lemoli was supposed to try out this weekend.”

Bulma’s face dropped, as well as her arms at her sides. “What do you mean supposed to?”

“I mean she’s taken the week off. Strep throat, can you believe that shit? It’s hot as balls outside, and she has strep throat and a fever!”

“Geeze that’s terrible,” Bulma looked to the side, “but why are you bringing them to me?”

Vegeta looked at her, pleading with his rugged features.

Bulma brought her gaze to his at the impending silence, catching on to what he was trying to say. “Oh absolutely not Vegeta! I’m taking the weekend off and going to a resort with my parents. I can’t be…fapping while they’re in the same suite as me!”

“You’re killing me, Briefs!” Vegeta ran a thick hand down his face. “All of the other interns won’t make good camera time! I need someone to get on camera and give an honest review, not sit on the couch and blush and,” he batted his eyelashes mockingly and raised his voice pitch higher, more feminine, “chuckle like a fucking teenager who’s just discovered their genitalia.”

Bulma laughed mildly, blowing breath from her lips. “I don’t know what to tell you Vegeta, but I don’t have the time.”

“You realize the show is Monday, right? And it’s the Valentines Day Special. We need this segment, Bulma. People don’t care about sex advice anymore so we have to keep them tuned in. And having a sexy woman gush as she talks about how hard she came from a vibrator sounds like ratings gold!”

Bulma smiled at him coyly, playing with her short blue hair. “Are you calling me sexy, Vegeta?”

“Is that all you took from that? Jesus, woman.” Vegeta turned to the side, hiding his blush that creeped across his cheeks. Of course he thought she was sexy, any idiot with half a brain noticed the powerhouse that was Bulma’s body and stunning face. But Vegeta refused to be one of the men who fawned over her, talking about her in the privacy of sport bars after work, trying to hide the erecting in their pants as they talked about how she had accidentally brushed her breasts against them or something. No, he had too much pride to be one of those men.

“Bulma,” he said with an exasperated sigh, “do me this one solid, please?”

She burned her blue eyes into the side of his neck, “I told you I don’t have the time!”

“Well what the hell are you doing right now?” He looked around her dressing room, empty and colorless. “I know you weren’t about to do anything of importance, so get yourself off for the next hour and report back to me!”

“Excuse me?” She put her hands on her hips, her posture full of sass, and narrowed her eyes. “First of all, I was doing something important, thank you very much, and second of all, I’m not even horny!”

“Oh please,” he rolled his eyes, “You run a sex talk show. You should be running off of being horny.”

“Okay so, even if that were true, it doesn’t work like that! You don’t just press a button and presto! Bulma’s ready to fuck! I’m still a person, you know, sex extraordinaire or not.”

“Well go watch a porn or something! “

“Do you even know how this works? Jesus, no wonder you’re always so uptight, you probably haven’t had a good nut in so long, you’ve forgotten how to start the entire process!”

Vegeta’s eyes darkened as he glared at her, his lips pressing into a tight line. He took a deep breath, exhaling his irritation with his chest, and closed his eyes slowly. “Will you do it?”

Bulma ran her tongue over her top row of teeth. God, Vegeta was such a prick. No wonder why he was probably not getting any action; any woman would probably run for the hills at his lack of comprehension of the female anatomy. The things she could teach him if—

A light bulb went off in her head, an idea striking her out of the blue. There weren’t many men that caught Bulma’s eye these days, all of them looking so boring, but Vegeta was an exception. His sharp jawline and impossibly handsome “bad boy” features screamed fuck me, and she would be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about him a few times during her sessions in the shower.

She was willing to bet the attraction was mutual. It was one of the reasons behind her theory of why he engaged in their arguments, why he allowed her to talk to him with such ferocity. He was wrapped in the sexual tension as tightly as she was. And she had caught him checking her out as she walked away numerous times.

A devious smile played upon her pink pout as she looked at him, and she cocked a hip to the side.

p>“Fine, I’ll do it. But under one condition.” He smiled a rare smile, the taste of victory coating his tongue.

“Sure, whatever you want.”

“Glad to hear you say that. I’ll review these toys if, and only if,” She walked closer to him, methodically moving her hips,” you get me horny before hand.” She tugged the tie around his neck, wrapping it around her hand.

Vegeta face turned a bright shade of red as he studied her facial expression. From the perch of her brow to the purse of her lips, it was clear that she was serious. He felt the room get too stuffy and he swallowed.

“That’s not acceptable. “

“And why not?” she replied, her voice oozing with silk.

“Well,” he searched for reasons in his head, finding his other brain starting to make decisions for him, “I’m your boss.”

“Oh, I don’t think so,” She smirkef, waving her finger, “this is a partnership. You yourself agreed to that when I signed onto this deal.”

“I’m not doing it, Bulma.”

“What are you afraid of,” she leaned in a little closer, her breath ghosting on his lips, “you don’t have to touch me, unless you want to. All you have to do is get me horny. Are you not up for the challenge? “

Vegeta swallowed. That’s all he had to do? Just say a few words, suggest a few things and get her in the mood? And go on his merry way?

“You need me, remember?” she’s interrupted his thoughts, “what’s a small sacrifice for your precious ratings? And if you do a good job, I’ll give a good review and Purrrfect Pleasures will give us a fat,” she ran her finger up the buttons on his dress shirt, up his thick neck, stopping right under his bottom lip, “check.” She let the word roll off of her tongue, sweetened with honey, and she’s watched his adam’s apple bob upwards as he tried to catch his breath.

“Are you really going to say no?” she’s pouted, batting her fluffy lashes at him. Vegeta cursed under his breath and sighed.

After a while, he said “Fine. But you’d better not tell anyone about this, “ he pointed a thick finger at her.

She ran a finger across her lips, imitating a zipper being shut, and smiled, walking over to the door to lock it. She turned around and leaned against it, folding her arms and smirking at him.

“So what do I have to do?” he asked, crossing his arms.

She waved a finger at him. “Oh no, no, no,” she clicked her teeth, “that wasn’t a part of the deal. You gotta figure it out, buddy.”

He grunted loudly. What the hell had he gotten himself into, exactly? He walked over to her slowly, running playthroughs in his head. So he was here now. With the woman that he wouldn’t admit to fantasizing about. Maybe he should just pretend that this was a real occurance, that he was really about to fuck her.

Yeah, that’s it.

His walk increased with confidence, his eyelids lowering slightly, and he placed a palm on the door behind her, trapping her against it. She looked at him shyly, as if she wasn’t sure what to expect either. That made him laugh.

“Why are you looking like that?” he asked in a velvety voice, smooth and deep and hypnotizing, running a finger up the curve of her neck, making her gasp lightly, “you look like a deer caught in headlights. Are you afraid, little deer?”

She shook her head no as his finger rounded her ear, playing with her earlobe. “I’m not scared when I suggested it.”

“Hmph,” he smirked, “good then. That would be no fun.” His thumb grazed across her cheek, his thumb fluttering over her bottom lip, and he was pleasantly surprised at how soft it was. He was enjoying tracing her skin with his fingers, relishing in the smooth milky feel that made him itch with desire, but he suppressed his ache. His fingers found the top of her dress , her ample cleavage enticing him over the top fabric.

“I thought you didn’t want to touch me?” she breathed out.

“I never said that. Why, are you turned on yet?”

p>She shook her head no, lying. The truth was, her panties had gotten wet the moment his finger made contact with her skin, but she didn’t want him to stop and leave her with a box of toys and memories of him on her, even if it was just a finger.

“Well then,” he said relieved, “Maybe I should try a little harder.”

He squeezed her breasts, his palm brushing her nipple, and she moaned involuntarily. He chuckled at her before grabbing her other one, and she arched her back into his palm.

“You okay?”

“Y-yeah,” she cleared her throat, “I’m fine.”

“Horny yet?”

She shook her head again, unable to let the lie spill from her lips. He raised an eyebrow in disbelief and ran his fingers down her smooth stomach, playing with the fabric of her dress. She gasped sharply when he raised the hemline, revealing her lacy beige thong.

“Nice underwear. “

“There was a sale.”

“I see.” He let his fingers leave butterfly touches over her panties, and he watched her face become painted with desire. This was easier than he thought.

And she hated it.

She wanted to give him a hard time, make him beg for her to become aroused, and here she was practically melting under his teasing. She felt his finger run right over the fabric concealing her clitoris, and she moaned. He laughed and she cursed herself, and then she felt him push the fabric to the side, his finger running lightly in between her lips.

God damn him.

“You’re wet,” he whispered, removing his hand from her altogether, “and my job is done.”

She blinked at him in disbelief, her mind clouded. That was it?

He stepped back from her and cleared his throat. “So I expect that you’ll have a review for me in, what, an hour? From what I can feel, you’ll run through that entire box soon.”

Bulma was losing it. There was just no way that she was going to let this smug as hole have the upper hand in this. “Coward.”

“What did you just say to me?”

“I said,” she moved off of the door and walked to the box, untying the ribbon, “you’re a coward. You can revv up the motor, but you’re too chicken to drive the car? Or in this case,” she brought a powder pink rabbit style dildo out, the base having the face of a winking cat and the vibrator resembling cat ears, “you don’t even want to hear the engine purr?”

He swallowed, watching her perfect lips pout as she read the tag on the toy. “This one’s called ‘The Cat Scratcher’, meant to tickle all the places you can’t reach.” She smirked as she slowly looked up at him, letting her eyes catch his like he was her prey. “What do you say, Vegeta?” she asked with an enticing voice, “don’t you want to get an up close and personal review?”

Before he could answer, she walked to the couch and sat down, spreading her legs so that he could see all of her glory. She turned the toy on after removing the tag and pulled her dress down, exposing her lacy bra. She ran the toy over her nipples and sighed. “It’s so soft,” she breathed, “it’s like a person is touching me.”

Vegeta loosened the collar of his button up, feeling stuffy. “You don’t say?”

“Mmhmm,” she moved the toy down, the hum of the vibrator filling the room, “except it’s not as good as the real thing.” She locked eyes with him, smiling suggestively. She ran the vibrator over her panties, the sensations causing her to throw her head back and gasp. “Fuck that feels good. This is powerful. “

Vegeta tried to keep his composure, but watching her play with herself was hard.

And so was he.

Bulma moaned as she rubbed her clit in small circles, and she brought her head back down to look at him again. “I’d buy this,” she said before moaning again, feeling an electric shock surge through her body, “but I’m having a hard time keeping my hand steady. It’s too much.” She pouted at him, her lips circling at the building pressure. “Can you help me?”

Vegeta stared at her with wide eyes. Why was he still here? He had done what she had asked of him, so he could leave already. But watching her was like a goddammned art show, and he was too enticed to back away now. So he approached her, watching her face delight as he bent to his knees, grabbing the thing from her hands.

“You’d better give a fantastic review,” he said, and she nodded.

“Only the best.”

He pushed more of her panties to the side and applied more pressure to her clitoris, and she mewled. Fuck, she was beautiful everywhere. Her lips resembled a flower, and he licked his lips as he watched her get wetter, making this far more difficult than he realized.

He looked up at her, locking his gaze with her pleading oceans for eyes, and he turned the vibrator around to insert it inside of her. Slowly he entered, using her own juices as lubrication, and she sucked in a tight breath of air. He smiled, going back to watching his movements. It was like poetry in motion, the way she opened and tightened over the dildo, and he had to refrain himself from stroking his aching erection. He moved a little faster as she took it with ease, the vibrator fluttering over her swollen clitoris. She moaned deeper,her hips bucking up and begging for more. He complied, stroking her faster. Her hands gripped the dress that hugged her thighs, and he wanted so badly to grab them and interlock their fingers together as he made her cum hard.

“V-Vegeta,” she squealed, raising her hips off the couch as the pressure of an orgasm began to claim her.

Vegeta had to keep his shock at bay, not expecting her to let his name slip off of her lips like that. She was a juicy piece of fruit, and all he wanted now was to take a bite. She rocked her hips against the toy, her vagina swallowing it as it slapped against her, Vegeta’s hand becoming slick with her juices. He groaned at the whole ordeal as she closed her eyes, resting her head on the back of the couch. Vegeta raised himself up so that he was face to face with her, leaning his forehead against hers.

“What are you waiting for,” he whispered against her lips, her eyes finding home in his, “aren’t you going to cum?”

He made his hand move faster, the sounds of his hands colliding with her lips, and she groaned loudly, allowing his name to escape her mouth again. Her pretty little mouth. Fuck, did he want to put it to other uses.

“Ffffuuuucccckkk,” she squealed, instinctively gripping the couch, “I’m gonna—“ she was cut off as Vegeta quickened his pace even more, filling her up completely, her clitoris pulsating against the steady rhythm of the vibe. Vegeta studied her face as she orgasmed, completely enamored by her gorgeous features. She panted and tensed below him, before he felt her relax like jelly, sinking into the couch. He removed the toy, shutting off the vibrator. He looked at, seeing how slick it was from her wetness, and stood up from her.

“Is there a way to clean this?”

“Toy cleaner in box,” she said brokenly, catching her breath. She glanced at the ceiling, wondering what had happened exactly.

“I suggest you get dressed and clean yourself up before you get out of here. I don’t need rumors flying.”

She nodded, pulling her dress down. “Well you have your review. Satisfied?”

He smirked, looking in the box. “The question is, are you?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

He walked back over to her, handing her the vibrator and the spray cleaner.

“There’s still six others. So I suggest you don’t fall asleep.”

She clicked her teeth and pouted. “Six more!? Today?!”

“I sure hope you have the stamina,” he turned away from her, heading towards the door.

“Where are you going?” she asked, ashamed at how desperate she sounded.

He didn’t turn around as he stopped, his hand resting on the door knob. “I have paperwork to do. Our deal has long expired.” And with that, he opened the door and left, leaving Bulma feeling a little foolish.

The desire in between her legs was unapologetic, pleading with her to make him come back. She had a desire that needed to be met. And cat themed dildo weren’t going to cut it.

She stood and cleaned her vibrator, a goal in her mind.

She needed to fuck Vegeta.

Bulma Briefs was going to get hers. OooOooo

A/N

This piece was written for the February 2017 Smutfest, hosted by The Prince and The Heiress Community.

King in the North

(Jon x Reader)

Words: 1,993

A kinda-sorta sequel to this smutty bit here.


The shouts rumbled like thunder over the Bay of Ice. “KING IN THE NORTH! KING IN THE NORTH!” The very stones of Winterfell seemed to shake beneath the chanting, pounding of cups, and stamping of feet. “KING IN THE NORTH! KING IN THE NORTH!” And even from your far, far place in the hall, you could read the fear in Jon’s eyes.

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Cole Sear: I see dead people.
Malcolm Crowe: In your dreams?
[Cole shakes his head no]
Malcolm Crowe: While you’re awake?
[Cole nods]
Malcolm Crowe: Dead people like, in graves? In coffins?
Cole Sear: Walking around like regular people. They don’t see each other. They only see what they want to see. They don’t know they’re dead.
Malcolm Crowe: How often do you see them?
Cole Sear: All the time. They’re everywhere.

—-

The Sixth Sense

—-

Graphic - Casey Weldon

LISTEN TO THIS THOUGH

SIRIUS FINDING OUT FIRST THAT LILY IS PREGNANT

FREAKING OUT

RUNNING INTO AN ORDER MEETING TWO HOURS LATE POSITIVELY SCREAMING

EVERYONE FREAKING OUT THINKING THAT THERE’S AN ATTACK OR SOMETHING

“I’M HAVING A KID!” SIRIUS YELLS IN DISTRESS. HE GRABS REMUS AND SHAKES THE POOR MAN. “YOU’RE HAVING A KID!” ONCE MORE WITH JAMES. “YOU’RE GOING TO BE A DAD.” FINALLY WITH PETER. “THE RESPONSIBILITY! THREE AM WAKEUPS! DIRTY NAPPIES!”

EVERYONE CALMS DOWN AND WATCHES SIRIUS JUST RUN HIMSELF WITH WORRY. FINALLY HE RUNS TO LILY AND SHOUTS, “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS, EVANS? THE BETRAYAL!”

AND LILY’S SO CALM AND SHE COOS AND PETS SIRIUS LIKE HE’S 4 AND SAYS, “WELL SIRIUS, WHEN A MUMMY AND A DADDY LOVE EACH OTHER THE LOVE SPILLS OVER AND THE STORK BRINGS A BABY AND PLACES IT IN THE MUMMY’S TUMMY.”

JAMES THEN STARES AT LILY AND GOES, “WHAT?”

“SHE’S PREGNANT!” SIRIUS IS SHREIKING AT THIS POINT. “YOU PUT A FUCKING CHILD INSIDE YOUR WIFE, PRONGS. WHY THE FUCK DID YOU THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA?”

JAMES FAINTS. PETER GOES OVER TO PROD THE UNCONCIOUS MAN. REMUS PUSHES PAST SIRIUS AND HUGS LILY AND IS LIKE “OH THATS SO GREAT I’M HAPPY FOR YOU. HOW DID SIRIUS FIND OUT?”

“HE BOUGHT THE TEST FOR ME.”

“AH.”

And then like almost two years later Lily and James die because of fucking Peter.

3

(Requested by Anon)

Your dead heart clenched in your chest when you laid eyes on the man in the middle throne. You had heard stories about the Volturi, but none of your siblings told you that one of them was gorgeous beyond your wildest imagination.

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The Heart’s Desire [Jefferson x Reader]

Length: 2716 words

Genre: FLUFF

AU: HamilTime

TW: None

A/N: I loved this request so much I started writing it the second I read it! Thanks so much for requesting, and I’m sorry if gets confusing at times ^^;; The ending is so cheesy I’M SO SORRY

Thomas Jefferson prided himself in remaining calm and cool during tough times, but there are a handful of occasions where he wished he could kill a man. The first being Alexander winning the Cabinet Battle, and humiliating him in front of the President- actually, he corrected himself, during all the times he was with Alexander. The only other time would be currently, him breathing heavily in an alley of God knows where, his heart racing, and his fist shaking.

“How dare you say such things?!”   

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Chen vs. You on Running Man (Request)

Summary: Your first time on Running Man and you are playing against Chen. What could be any better than that? How about being trapped in a room with him trying to get your name tag?
Members: Chen x Reader
Type: General
Length: 1,053 words

Ahhh, I liked writing this one a little too much. After the Kai and Lay Running Man scenarios, I was scared this would be very similar to the others, but I hope I succeeded. I hope you like it <3 I do not own this gif.

-Admin Kat

“Welcome to Running Man. I know this is your first time, so I hope you have fun (Y/N).” Chen says as he sticks his hand out to shake mine. I look up at the idol and instantly smile when I see his Cheshire-like smile.

I was new to this all, not just to the show, but also to the idol world as a whole. I was the newest debut at SM and elated to finally join the same company as my favorite group, EXO. Although I joined the company a few years back, I had only met the boys in passing. Running Man is my first chance to actually meet one of the members. Best of all, the member just so happened to be my bias.

I smile up at Chen and gladly take his hand. “It would be more fun if we were on the same team.” I say without thinking. My face automatically becomes red as I realize the words I had said. Chen simply laughs at me, not teasing or anything, but sweetly. I feel my face getting even hotter. Before either of us can say anything to dissipate the awkwardness, we hear the producer saying that we need to get in our places for the show to begin.

We both take our spots on opposing sides. I can’t help but glance over at him throughout the first two competitions. His team is definitely a challenge to beat. It was Seasoned Idols vs. New Debuts and my team was surprisingly tied with theirs. My team had one the first challenge, focusing on speed, while their team barely clenched victory in the strength competition. Now it was time for the final challenge. This was the one challenge I was most nervous about, but I knew it would be the most fun.

We enter the Zhejiang TV studio and my heart is racing with excitement. My team runs into the building, bursting with energy. We are like puppies finally being let out to play. I know it may be dangerous for us to be going into the challenge so reckless, but it is really nice to see my team having so much fun. I glance over and notice Chen smiling at our team, making quick eye contact with me. I drop my gaze fast and listen as they tell us the rules of the game.

Angelababy is the first target member of my team, and Minho of Shinee is the first target member of Chen’s team. I am one of the first members in the control room. We all take our spots and wait for the bell to sound, signaling the beginning of the game. I watch as both teams begin chasing down one another; trying to find their target.

I watched the game intently, instructing my teammates which areas were safe and which were not. As I watch the monitors, I can’t help but watch as Chen race around, easily finding the targets and ripping off their name tags as though it was child’s play to him. I have to admit, I was getting nervous to go against him.

Time passes quickly and before I know it, it is my turn to enter the game. I look around the hall that I enter timidly. My first target is Bao. I begin searching him out, hearing on my walkie-talkie that he is on the same floor as me. It doesn’t take too long to find him, but I do have to call in back up to take him out of the game. I feel immense satisfaction at taking down my first target, although I needed others to help.

Just as we finish ripping off Bao’s name tag, we hear the sound of our teammate also being taken out simultaneously. Number Four is now the target. The intercom announces. I glance down at my number tag and realize that that is my own number.  I quickly run out of the room, my teammate watching out to make sure I am not heading straight towards any members of the opposing team.

I manage to find an empty room and quickly hide behind the door, trying to make it look as though no one had even entered the room. I listen as footsteps pass the door, smiling to myself as my plan seems to work. Just as I am about to peak my head around the door, I hear footsteps approaching the room and I freeze. The footsteps continue into the room and I press my back against the wall. The person seems to look around the room, not spotting me behind the door still, and starts to turn away to leave. As they leave, my walkie-talkie goes off, my team informing me that Chen was in the same room as me.

The sound of my walkie-talkie broke the silence of the room and the door was yanked away, revealing me standing behind the door. I was face to face with Chen and my whole body froze. Chen gave me his signature smile. “I found you.” He said in a teasing voice as he tried to reach around me and grab my name tag. I quickly side step him, spinning around so I am no longer pressed between him and the wall.

I try my hardest to keep him an arm’s length away, but he is quickly closing the space. Just as he reaches me, my foot manages to catch on the leg of a table and I go tumbling to the floor, accidentally pulling Chen down with me. He lands on top of me, his face only a few inches from my own.

I stare up at him in confusion and embarrassment. My face is quickly turning red as he moves closer to me. I can hear my heart pounding in my ears. His hands are holding my shoulders and he pulls me up towards him. My mind is completely blank as I stare into his eyes. I feel his arms move to my back and I realize what exactly is going on. Before I have any time do anything, I hear the sound of my tag being ripped off my vest.

Chen lets out a bellowing laugh as he helps me up to my feet. “You are very cute when you are embarrassed.”

This fic was great fun to write and I had a blast picking a song that would work. The description of the dancing was difficult so I am grateful for that challenge. Other than that, I’m really happy with how this turned out. Plus now I have a little headcanon that the Avengers hold dance battles and dance offs. Thanks to nerd-kat–hell-yes for the request.

The song that goes with this fic can be found here.

Perhaps a fanfic about a dance with the Cap? Maybe some of the avengers are talking about good and bad dancing and reader tries to show them what good dancing looks like while trying to teach Steve…

“The Soldier’s Plan” (Part 1)

A gentle knock distracted you from the task at hand. Turning around you saw that the infamous Captain America was sticking his head around the door to your sleeping quarters.
“Steve?” You said, wondering what reason the man could have for visiting you of all people. Placing the knife that you were polishing down on your bedside cabinet, you went to unhook the chain so that Steve could get more of than his head through the door.

Whilst on an exchange trip in Italy, you were taken captive by HYDRA agents and experimented on. They transformed the genetic makeup of your bone structure so that it was incredibly light but also very strong – an excruciating process that devastated your memory. However, HYDRA succeeded and you were able to take hard hits without breaking bones, and break through walls using your bare hands. They didn’t count on you using your ‘gift’ to escape. Clint had been on a mission which required him to take a high vantage point. Due to your light bone structure, you were able to leap to incredibly heights and he clocked you hopping from street level to the roof of a house with ease. As a result of the testing, your appearance was drastically altered leaving you unable to locate your family. The Avengers took you in afterwards at Clint’s request.

“What’s up?” You asked after allowing Cap into your room.
“I hate to ask but I need a favour.” You smiled. You relished any opportunity to be able to repay the Avengers for the kindness that they showed you.
“Sure. How can I help?”
Steve shifted uncomfortably.
“Well, it’s a little unorthodox but… I need a dance partner.” He said. Why he was coming to you, you didn’t know. ‘I’m easy to lift, I suppose, but that can’t be the only reason.’ You thought.
“Um… okay.” You mumbled. As much as you wanted to help, you weren’t sure that you were the best choice. You could definitely dance but it tended to be when there was no-one else there to watch.

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