how to play soccer

More voltron headcannons whoops
  • Keith fears almost nothing. Almost. He’s the biggest baby when it comes to spiders of any size. 
    • Lance will never know. 
  • Hunk cries when he watches Bambi every. single. time. 
  • Shiro cried the first time he saw Toy Story 3 and nobody will ever find out 
  • Allura was actually a very clumsy kid for a princess, and had to have a mentor come in to help her with her poise 
  • Lance used to take ice skating lessons and still remembers how to do it fairly well, he also played soccer and dabbled in football as well 
  • Pidge is allergic to cats, but loves them a lot; it’s a struggle 
  • Hunk is actually really good at football? Like I could see him being good at defense 
  • Hunk and lance used to play football and soccer together when they were little in their backyards 
  •  If you look at Shiro’s YouTube history you’ll probably see a ton of makeup tutorials for different eyeliner styles; he likes to try new things a lot and tends to recommend different palettes to others; he has a great sense of color and style 
  • Shiro dabs like a white dad and dances like one too 
  • Shiro also wore crocs, knee-high socks, and khaki shorts together and it was a serious outfit he had
    •  Pidge cried for a half of an hour when she found this out
Day 23

What customers don’t seem to understand about this place is that you can’t do returns at the cash registers. We have a special department set aside for this, conveniently labeled “Guest Services” in red letters so massive they can probably be seen from space. 
Normally, when a customer asks to do a return at my register, I point them in the direction of the appropriate department and they go on their merry way, no problem. 

But there are, unfortunately, a certain subset of customers who take extreme offense to being told that they need to go wait in a different line. 

I narrowly dodged one such customer on this day, but was still close enough to see how everything played out. There’s just something about middle-aged soccer mom types that makes them the most unpleasant people to deal with. And I could tell the moment I re-directed her to the returns desk that shit was about to get ugly. After she huffed and puffed about my audacity to ask her to wait some more, she stomped off. From what I could hear behind me at the desk, the thing she was trying to return was a very, very broken ceramic planter. Think an unrecognizable pile of shards. I’ve now worked here long enough to know for a fact that these planters don’t come in a box or anything, so she definitely bought it when it was intact and broke it on her own, but was trying to be refunded for it anyway. 

The woman working at the returns desk told her this. The following shouts made all activity in the check lanes halt. I turned around just in time to see one of the most spectacularly petty actions I’ve ever witnessed:

The customer, enraged that she couldn’t return her completely obliterated planter, takes a bottle of shampoo out of her cart and squirts the entire thing out on the returns counter. We’re talking one of those big-ass Head and Shoulders family sized bottles. Blue soapy goop everywhere and on every surface as the poor returns clerk watched in shock.

It was legendary

Officer Bad-Touch then showed up in record time to escort the customer out. I almost wanted to laugh at the clerk, but all the same I felt a grim solidarity for her. That could’ve been me. 
But at least I have some perspective: if there’s any comfort with this job, it’s that I don’t have to work at the returns desk. 


Ten years ago CNN Heroes took this photo to symbolize how I couldn’t play soccer anymore because I had lost my leg. But now there’s a thing called the U.S. Amputee Soccer Team. And I have the honor of being on it

The gems as stereotypical moms
  • Pearl: Overprotective, but lovable, mom. Got the,"Mom of the month!" award from School Committee. Is jealous of Maya from the School Committee because Maya makes better lemon squares than her.
  • Amethyst: Cool mom every other kid wishes they had. Every mom on the School Committee hates her because she's that,"One mom." Picks kid up from school on a different vehicle every day.
  • Garnet: Silent mom every other kid is secretly afraid of. The School Committee loves her though. She makes the best orange squares.
  • Rose: Nerd mom that tries to act 'cool' around kid's friends. All the kids like her and she was hit on by a seven year old once. The moms absolutely ADORE her. ("Oh, Rose, did you make that cake?" "Rose, you have GOT to see this!" "Rose, did you hear what happened to Michelle's daughter earlier today?")
  • Jasper: Overenthusiastic soccer mom. Yelled at Cynthia from the School Committee and called her cookies,"Bland, tasteless, over glorified rice cakes." Absolutely hates School Committee meetings and does everything she can to get out of them.
  • Peridot: Forgetful mom. Doesn't remember they have basketball practice in ten minutes. Fell asleep at the monthly meeting of the School Committee and could only wake up when Jasper slapped her. (To be fair, it was lightly. And Rose, Pearl, and Lapis had already tried any alternatives and had given their consent to the practice.)
  • Lapis: Hot single mom. All the moms on the School Committee are super jelly of her, and all of their kids have crushes on her. Got flowers from an anonymous secret admirer a few times.
  • Ruby: Constantly worried mom. All the moms on the School Committee think it's scandalous she's in a relationship with Sapphire. Keeps up with the kids. Super good with them too.
  • Sapphire: Calm, keeps the peace mom. All the moms wonder how her kids never seem to fight and are constantly asking tips. They also think it's scandalous that she's in a relationship with Ruby. She's "That one mom" we all know.
Calum dating a Latina...

-”Babe, this hot sauce is hOT” 

-Listening to spanish music, even if Cal didnt understand it.

-Watching the movie “Selena” and him being like ‘whY did he kill her??” at the ending

-Being amazed at how much family you have 

-Spending a weekend at a family party and falling in love with the food

-He would feel kind of left out sometimes because he couldnt speak the language and not relating to things 

-^^You would reassure him by telling him that you like him no matter what 

-Teaching him how to dance bachata 

-”That Romeo Santos guy is so attractive, if I were you, i’d be dating him” he joked 

-”Mi nombre es Calum y soy Australiano. Una cerveza porfavor” would literally be the only thing he really knew how to say 

-He would lowkey download apps on his phone to teach him spanish

-Your dad would love him because of how he almost played pro soccer 

-Taking him to the country where youre from (or where your parents are from) and exposing him to the culture

-Going on tour with him in latin countries and translating everything when you two would roam around 

-”You think I could’ve been born (mexican, salvadorian, guatemalan, etc) in another life?” “Mhm sure”

-being open to try new things 

-feel like your mom’s cooking was absolute heaven 

-on his way home, he would listen to the spanish radio station just cause 

-your cousins (and/or siblings) would play a game of soccer together 

Haven’t eaten lunch thoughts:

What if Melissa ends up with Sheriff Stilinski?

Will they move into a big house where they have rooms for Scott and Stiles?

Would Stiles call Melissa mom?

Would Scott bring dinner to Sheriff Stilinski when he is working after hours?

Would Stiles bring Melissa dinner when she is working at the hospital at night?

If Stiles ends up with Lydia, she would be Scott’s sister in law?

Would Lydia help the packs future children if they need help with homework?

Would the packs future children go to Lydia for relationship advice?

If one of the children in the future feels weak, would they go ask Kira to teach them how to be bad ass and teach them how to use a sword?

When one of the packs future kids feels sad, would they go to Malia. Maybe if they feel lonely and confused? 

Would they go to Liam if they want to learn how to play Lacrosse?

Would they go to Hayden if they want to learn how to play soccer?

Would they go to Mason when they are doubting their sexuality?

Would Isaac go to their weddings and would they go visit them?

Would Stiles and Lydia call their daughters Allison an Claudia?

Would Derek be one of those uncles that once he walks through the door all the kids stop what they’re doing and run towards him?

Would Derk bring presents when he comes back from places?

Would they go to Allison’s grave and leave her flowers?

anonymous asked:

Ali comforting ash after a tough loss

Ashlyn was mad and anyone that looked at her could see it. But Ali was the only one who could see pass the anger and see the disappointment and the fear in her eyes. Ashlyn was in and out of the locker room faster than ever before. She wanted to get the post game interviews over as quickly as possible.

“Ashlyn, how does this loss feel?”

There was no question that Ashlyn hated more than this one. Losing was the worst feeling in the world. It was stressful and heartbreaking. You didn’t have to play soccer to see how hard it was to lose and yet, every time she got interviews after a game, this question came up.

Ashlyn tried her hardest to remain professional while answering questions. “Losing never feels good, but there are a lot of lessons we can take away from this. We are all going to show up tomorrow morning, ready to learn and grow as a team. We came here to win and there is no excuse for the way we played today. We have to be better.”

There was a harshness to Ashlyn’s voice that no one was used to hearing. The woman interviewing her rattled off more questions and Ashlyn felt like she was about to snap, until she saw the one person that could always put her restless mind at ease. Ali stood a few feet away and leaned against the wall, waiting for Ashlyn to finish this interview so that they could head home and sleep this loss away.

Before Ashlyn knew it, the interview was over and she had spent the entire time staring at Ali. “Thank you for your time, Ashlyn.”

“Goodnight. Thank you.”

Ashlyn walked over to Ali and immediately wrapped her arms around her. “I wanna go home.” Ashlyn mumbled into Ali’s shoulder.

Ali pulled away and grabbed Ashlyn’s hand to lead her out to the parking lot. Normally, they would happy to sign autographs and take pictures with fans, but tonight, they both needed to go home and relax. When they got to the car, Ali took the keys from Ashlyn and gently shoved her towards the passanger side of the Jeep. The ride home was mostly quiet. Ashlyn turned the radio on as background noise but neither of them spoke. Ali reached over the center console to hold AShlyn’s hand. They stayed like that the entire ride home.

As a general rule, Ali let Ashlyn come to her. Sometimes, it took Ashlyn a little while to process things on her own before she was ready to share what she was thinking with someone else. Ali understood and respected that but she wished that there was something that she could do to convince Ashlyn that losing was never just her fault.

Ali had just gotten out of the shower and was changing into some sweats and a hoodie when she heard Ashlyn speak up from behind her. “You played amazing today. I’m sorry I wasn’t better.”

“You did great Ashlyn. We lost and it sucks but that doesn’t mean that you didn’t do your job.” Ashlyn was perched on the end of the bed and Ali walked over to stand in between her legs. Ashlyn rested her head on Ali’s stomach and wrapped her arms loosely around her. Ali ran her fingers through Ashlyn’s hair.

“I’m not a goalkeeper. I don’t know how it feels to get scored on, but I do know what it feels like to lose. Believe me Ash, this was not your fault. The team as a whole needed to be better today. We were all over the place and you held us together for a long time. We could have easily lost by ten goals today but thanks to you, we escaped with a one to zero loss.”

Ashlyn finally looked up at Ali. She had tears in her eyes and she was doing everything she could to keep them from falling. Something that a lot of people didn’t know about Ashlyn was how sensitive she was. It was obvious how passionate she was about soccer and how she always strived to be the best, but she didn’t want to show people how bad it hurt her to lose. She didn’t want the fans to be disappointed in her so she put on a brave face and made it seem like everything was ok.

Alu out her hands on Ashlyn’s cheeks. “You can be sad tonight. We can go to bed and sleep this off, but you have to promise me something.”

Ashlyn looked at Ali with curious eyes. “Anything.”

“Tomorrow, we are going to get up and go to practice. We are going to work harder than we ever have before and we are going to come back stronger. No one will blame you for the loss and that mean that after tonight, you don’t get to blame yourself for this loss anymore either. Let’s promise that tomorrow our focus will only be on improving, not on the mistakes we made in the past.”

“I promise.”

Ali removed herself from Ashlyn’s grasp and made her way to her side of the bed. Ashlyn followed her. They were both tired and wanted nothing more than to sleep this game off. But, they both knew that tomorrow would be here before they knew it. They would wake up and move on, just like they promised.

Ashlyn knew deep down that it was never only her fault but sometimes it was hard to remember that. It was easier to remember with Ali around.

Everything was easier with Ali around.


babydaddy!calum being ‘fucking pumped’ when he finds out his baby is a boy because he can teach him how to play soccer and teach him the bass when he’s old enough and dressing him up in the same clothes as him. calum would be so comforting and clingy for the 8 and a half months you were pregnant and your baby would be 3 weeks early and calum crying his beautiful eyes out when he holds his boy for the first time because he’s so small and fits in his hand so perfectly and he doesn’t know why he was so scared at the beginning because this is your family now and he loves you all so much and i need this i need this i need this i need this i neED THIS I NEED THIS I NEED THIS

  • Lots of hugs
  • Accepts aegyo for apologies
  • Will hug your child every second he gets the chance
  • If it’s a girl he will spOIL HER
  • “Daddy!” “Precious!!”
  • Brings her out shopping
  • “Pick whatever you want”
  • Will help pick out her clothes for her and his tastes are always on point
  • Will say no to skimpy clothing tho
  • “My teenage daughter will NOT dress like a hoochie mama”
  • Will braid your little girl’s hair even if he’s no good at it
  • Willingly dresses her up and you never have to be worried because she’ll be the most adorable sunflower on the block (except for maybe Junghan’s lil girl)
  • Will make sure she knows how to play soccer tho
  • Coaches her and brothers in the backyard
  • Also insists on having enough children to make their own soccer team
  • “it’s for PRACTICE!”
  • Wakes them in the morning with slobby kisses
  • “Let’s toughen up kids”
  • Drills
  • Planks
  • pUSH-UPS
  • ‘Fake’ wrestling with the boys which always manage to give you heart attacks
  • Camping trips
  • Fishing
  • trekking
  • Family outings include watching basketball matches
  • May come across as the typiccal jock dad but will never do that “Just walk it off” nonsense
  • ALWAYS makes sure to pack extra first aid kits
  • #1 on-the-scene sports medic
  • “let me put the antisepti- NO YOU ARE NOT OKAY STAY!!!”
  • *antiseptic*
  • *alcohol swabs*
  • *band-aids*
  • *cotton squares*
  • *bandages*
  • *lollipop*
  • for a friggin PAPER CUT
  • does this while gently scolding them for getting hurt and telling them not to make him worried like that because he loves them too much—
  • Will bring foam fingers and clappers to all his kids games
  • “honey you’re making too much noise”
  • But when they get in trouble this man is no nonsense
  • He won’t blow his top but he’ll chide them in that quiet way of his and make your little angels feel so bad and guilty inside they won’t ever think to do anything bad again because they dont like disappointing their dad
  • “You’re playing with their emotions”
  • “But I didn’t even–”
  • Will drag them up and hug them
  • Ends up sobbing
  • Family tears
  • Proud type who’ll show off every achievement his kid has done even if its something lame
  • Junghan: “No but I bet its something lame li–”
  • Bedtime stories
  • Random hugging
  • The dad who’s aegyo is better than his kids
  • Probably teaches kids aegyo to be used on you
  • Kisses on cheeks even for the boys
  • “Dad gross!!!”
  • *kisses them more*
  • Your boys want to be like him
  • Your girls want to marry a boy like him
  • Yes
  • Perfect
[Totally Confirmed] Luhan contacted EXO to glean more information on the Xiuhani rumors.
  • Luhan: Is Xiumin there?
  • Suho: Nope. He's out. What's up? You contacting us about something speciallll?
  • Luhan: Yeah. I have something important to address.
  • Suho: Oh really? A special day perhaps? A day you wish you could be here for? Don't worry, I'll send you some cake.
  • Luhan: What are you talking about? I want to know if Minseok's dating Hani.
  • D.O: Why do you care? You have a girlfriend.
  • Baekhyun: Yeah, tell us about her. How far have you guys gone?
  • Luhan: Irrelevant. Can someone just answer my question?
  • Chanyeol: Hani and Xiumin would be cute together. They were flirting, weren't they?
  • Luhan: What's so great about Hani? Has Hani met Matt Damon? I doubt it! How good is Hani at soccer? She probably sucks!
  • Baekhyun: I played soccer with Exid once and they were actually pretty -
  • Luhan: Shut up literally no one in EXO even likes you
  • Baekhyun: :(
  • D.O: That's not true.
  • Baekhyun: You like me, don't you?
  • D.O: But Chanyeol probably does. He indiscriminately loves everyone. Even serial killers.
  • Chanyeol: I think serial killers just need more hugs
  • Baekhyun: Wow
  • Luhan: Okay, well, can you guys keep tabs on the Hani situation and nip it in the bud? Yixing, you're my best friend. You can do that, right?
  • Lay: I also like you, Baekhyun.
  • Luhan: Suho?
  • Suho: You forgot my birthday. It's my birthday. "Happy Birthday, Suho!" Thanks Suho!