how to play quidditch

‘That Quidditch Cup’ll have our name on it this year,’ said Wood happily as they trudged back up to the castle. ‘I wouldn’t be surprised if you turn out better than Charlie Weasley, and he could have played for England if he hadn’t gone off chasing dragons.’
— 

Sorcerers Stone, chapter 10

Can you imagine Charlie reading in one of his letters from home that Ginny has been practicing quidditch plays nearly every day? How, the moment she’s done with her lessons, Ginny is out the door and borrowing his brothers’ the old brooms in the shed? Not only that, but she’s good. Shockingly good for her age.

So Charlie starts writing her. Letters telling Ginny about the dragons in Romania and occasionally dropping hits in how to balance better or pull out of a risky dive. When his parents and Ginny come to visit him that Christmas he gives her his old copy of Quidditch Through The Ages for her gift. Molly scrunches her nose as Ginny reads hungrily, asking him about with the notes and doodles he’d scribbled into the margins from his time as the Gryffindor seeker and the team captain. And when they get home Ginny practices even harder, until the blisters on her hands turn to calluses

Then years later when she earns a spot on the Gryffindor team as chaser Charlie demands a play-by-play of every game. Between her, Ron, and the twins he jokes with the other wizards and witches at the dragon sanctuary that he almost has a full quidditch team.

When the war is over Charlie gets an excited letter from Harry explaining that the Holyhead Harpies are trying to recruit her. Halfway through the letter he whoops with joy and announces to anyone that will listen that Ginny will be the next Gwenog Jones. Whenever the Harpies have a game Charlie checks and double checks that a wizard wireless nearby to hear the game.

Not even the dragons are enough to shut him up when his baby sister is mentioned scoring a goal (although several disgruntled dragons try).

Charlie and Ginny talking quidditch whenever there’s a family meal and he’s in attendance, even after she retires as a professional athlete. Because Charlie’s joy and excitement in regards to Ginny’s success as a quidditch player is second only to Harry.

Imagine

The Weasley Twins teaching you how to play Quidditch for the first time

i’m a quidditch player, and you’re the announcer, and i am trying really hard not to notice that your comments about me are becoming less and less about how i’m playing, and more and more about how i look in my quidditch uniform for @thememesister

Keith takes to the sky like a bird in flight.

Sometimes, Keith feels more at home on his broom among the clouds - the wind whipping around him, caressing his skin, invisible tendrils running through his hair - than he does with two feet planted firmly on the ground.

He’s good at it as well. He’s better than good. He’s excellent at it, cutting through the sky, bobbing and weaving effortlessly past teammates and opponents like his broom is simply an extension of his body; like it’s another limb.

He feels the adrenaline course through his veins as the crowd in the stands cheer and applaud and roar as he and the rest of the team come gliding out of the changing rooms, a sea of red and gold against the blue sky.

He reflexively glances to the furtherest corner of the stadium, gaze zeroing on on the topmost row of seats where he can see Shiro and Allura cheering just as loudly as the rest of the crowd, holding a giant Gryffindor flag between them.

Aaaaaand welcome ladies and gents to our first Quidditch match of the term,” a voice drawls out over the magically enhanced speakers placed throughout the stadium. “Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff. Place your bets now people, I’ve got 50 knuts riding on—”

Lance.”

Keep reading

imagine your otp hogwarts edition pt. 2
  • i’m in the hospital wing because of a potions injury, and i’m just trying to strike up conversation, and i don’t think you really meant to tell me you’re here because you tried the engorgio charm on your dick, and i certainly don’t mean to be laughing this hard, and yet, here we are
  • i’m a quidditch player, and you’re the announcer, and i am trying really hard not to notice that your comments about me are becoming less and less about how i’m playing, and more and more about how i look in my quidditch uniform
  • i forgot to finish my history of magic homework, so i took a puking pastille to get out of it, but you are actually worried about me, and insist on escorting me to the hospital wing, and omg, after class you brought me soup from the great hall, i cannot ever tell you that i was faking it
  • i’m muggle born, and your pureblood and know nothing about muggle culture, and i’m so sorry, but i get just such a delight out of telling you elaborate lies, like, yes, electricity really is run by small rodents that power whole cities by running on wheels underground, don’t listen to what they said in muggle studies class, trust me
  • you just received a howler from your parents, and you look so embarrassed, and i can’t handle it, so fuck it, i’ll just moon the whole great hall, that’ll get the attention off of you
  • we’re in between classes, and we both hear a fourth year calling a first year a mudblood, and neither of us are having any of that prejudiced bullshit. unfortunately, my impulse was to hex them, and yours was to punch them in the face, and my jelly-legs curse hit you instead, i’m really sorry, and we both are probably getting detention now, but hey, plus side, you’re kind of cute
  • you’re muggle born, and you insist on wearing your muggle clothes on the weekends, and i just cannot get over the way you look in those jeans, like, god help me
  • i invited you on a date on our next visit to hogsmeade, too bad i can’t seem to do anYTHING RIGHT. SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN TO SPILL HOT BUTTERBEER ALL OVER YOUR LAP, I PROMISE I’M JUST NERVOUS
  • you are already dating someone else, and during our love potion unit, you get asked to explain what you smell, and of course you’re gonna be smelling things that describe your partner right? uhm, but then why are you explicitly describing me…?
  • we stumble into the mirror of erised together. we look into it. neither of us know it’s anything special. we just see our reflections

part 1

i like to think remus was the scrapbooking mom of the group

I need this!

Why isn’t there a fandom school somewhere where you get sorted into classes depending on the fandom you’re in? 

With subjects just as drawing fanart, writing fanfiction, creating gifs and so on.
Also a Supernatural fandom would learn about religion and mythology, Potterheads would learn about chemics to create own potions and stuff and play quidditch, 

Sherlockians would learn how to deduce something and play the violin. 

And when we’re done with school we become artists, authors, priests, archeologists, chemists, detectives, police officers, musicians…

Wouldn’t that be great?

And the Hannibal fandom would learn how to cook great meals and invite other classes over for lunch and that’s what we’d call a crossover.
Also you can chose other crossover subjects where the classes are mixed up and you learn normal useful stuff like languages.

And imagine a Sherlockian dating a Supernatural fan and the whole class freaking out because SuperLock! 

And the greatest thing’s that the teachers are nerds too and understand you!
No judging, no one making fun of you and no axiety just a big, fluffy fandom family…

Dating Ginny Weasley would include

Originally posted by marauders4evr




● Supporting her at her quidditch matches.
 ♢ If you were a different house than Griffindor you’d wear Ginny’s house scarf to support her.

● Playful rivalry between you two if you weren’t in Griffindor.
♢ Loser buys the winner a butterbeer in Hogsmeade.

● Ginny would teach you how to play quidditch if you were interested.

● The Weasleys loving you and treating you like part of the family.

● Becoming close friends with The Golden Trio, Luna, Neville and all of the Weasley children.

● Helping each other with magic.

● Ginny thinking of you to summon her patronus.

● Hogsmeade dates.

● Teasing Ginny about the sweater Mrs Weasley knitted for her…until you got one as soon as Mrs Weasley found out you’re dating Ginny.
“You look so cute in it (Y/N).”
“….Bugger off Gin.”

● Fred and George pranking you when you first started dating Ginny, you earned their approval once you pranked them back.

● Mr Weasley and all Ginny’s brothers giving you the talk about how you better not hurt her. ♢ Ginny laughing at the terrified look on your face once they were done giving you the talk. ● Ginny giving you side hugs.

● Ginny kissing you in front of anyone who was flirting with you, after hexing them. (Talk about adding insult to injury)

● Ginny blurting out that she loves you, when she first summoned her patronus.

● Ginny teaching you hexes.

● Quick kisses in between classes.

● Her hexing anyone who says something bad about you.

● Sharing clothes.

● Ginny pulling you towards her by your tie.

● Mrs Weasley bugging Ginny to invite you to the burrow.
♢ Not being allowed to share a room at the burrow, but Ginny sneaks into the room you’re staying in anyway.

● Dealing with Over Protective Brother Ron. “Bloody hell they’re snogging again Harry.”
“They are dating Ron.”
♢ Ron chaperoning your dates until Ginny hexed him.

● Checking each other out during quidditch practice.

● If you were a Muggleborn Mr Weasley would ask you so many questions about the Muggle world that Ginny would drag you away.

● Flirting with Ginny to make her blush so hard that her face would match her hair.

● Falling asleep together if you shared a room.

● Chilling in each other’s common room.

● Sitting together in shared classes.
♢ Ginny would threaten whoever was currently sitting next to you to move so she could take their place.

● Being the only two in a train compartment because no one can handle how lovey dovey you two are.

● Calling her Ginevra to annoy her.

● Being a part of Dumbledore’s Army.

● Fighting side by side in the Battle of Hogwarts.
2

-Anon request

Dating Draco Malfoy would involve…

  • Helping him to accept people despite blood status or House
  • Shy kisses
  • Literally dragging him over to Hermione, Harry and Ron, and making him apologise for calling them ‘Blood traitors’ and 'Mud-bloods’
  • Practising Quidditch with him
  • Becoming close friends with Blaise- who totally shipped you and Draco before you knew you loved each other and recalls this fact smugly, all too often
  • Cheering him at Quidditch matches and telling him how well he did afterward- even if he lost immensely
  • Passionate sex
  • Revising together and tutoring him in his worst subjects
  • Becoming close friends with Pansy- although you loathed each other at first, she finally accepted that Draco loved you and realised just how much the two of you had in common
  • Holding hands when you’re walking between classes
  • Him teaching you how to play Quidditch
Dating Harry Would Include..

• Fucking Jealously omg.

• “Stop hanging out with her!”

• “Who?”

• “Cho!”

• Being best friends with Ron & Hermione.

• Harry sharing his food with you.

• Harry teaching you how to play quidditch.

• (If Muggle born or half-blood) showing Harry all the new things from the Muggle world.

• (If Pureblood) showing Harry, what he doesn’t know.

• Never leaving each other side’s.

• Always Always Always comforting him after the battle of Hogwarts.

• “Do you need any tea?”

• “No love, I’m okay. Go tend to the baby.”

• Him holding the baby all. the. god. damn. time.

• Both of you being protective of your children.

boob-morley  asked:

since i got a lot of marauders feels today and i want you to suffer as much as i do, you got any headcanons for sirius black? my heart aches because of that man tbh

oh dear…

  • such a drama queen
  • big heart but hides it under layers and layers of sass and false indifference
  • has a special relationship with mcgonagall who understand how hurt he was behind his carefree behaviour
  • never played quidditch but was - along with lily - the biggest cheerleader out there
  • really really REALLY likes puns
  • the little shit at the back of classroom who seems to not listening a word of what the teacher is saying but answers every question right
  • goes to the library when wanting to be alone
  • speaks french when he doesnt want people to understand him
  • speaks french when insults people
  • the kind of person that could be in his own world while surrounded by people and suddenly come back to real life like nothing happened
  • hoped with all his being that regulus would end up anywhere else than slytherin
  • regulus was probably the one who hurt him the most in his family because he was the one he cared the most for
  • would never open himself about his feelings
  • would prank every teacher except for mcgonagall
  • completely reckless and carefree
  • doesn’t think before acting
  • often regrets it
  • would have died for his friends, since day one
  • didn’t try to be the famous student but still loves it and takes advantage of it
Okay but: Draco and Harry spending Christmas together at Hogwarts.

- Draco and Harry slowly growing closer during their eight year
- Draco not having anyone to come home to for Christmas and being afraid to stay at Hogwarts alone because he tends to get bullied, so Harry, despite being invited to stay with the Weasleys, decides to stay with Draco
- Draco and Harry going picnicking near the lake and getting into snowball fights that often ends up with them rolling in the snow
- Draco and Harry having their first kiss on Christmas Day because “Seriously Potter you got me a book on how to play Quidditch I’m going to kiss that stupid smirk off your face”
- Draco and Harry sneaking out at night to the astronomy tower under the invisibility cloak and them having to stand very close so their feet won’t show
- Harry casting spells to keep them warm so they can stay on the astronomy tower to watch the stars
- Draco and Harry using the invisibility cloak as a blanket as they cuddle up and laughing at each other because they look so silly with only their heads showing
- Draco asking Harry to cast a patronus because it makes him feel safer, and he can’t cast one himself
- Draco falling asleep like that and Harry being reluctant to wake him up to go back to the dorms because Draco has pretty big dark circles under his eyes, so he waits as long as he can and suddenly the sky is getting brighter and someone is bound to catch them so he just sleepily pulls the blankets over their heads and falls asleep
- A professor indeed getting to the top of the tower and stepping on Draco’s invisible finger
- Harry being woken up by the footsteps in the stairs and instinctively kissing Draco to make sure he won’t get them noticed by making noise, except it kind of defeats the purpose when Draco really gets into the kiss and starts moaning softly
- The professor being McGonagall and she totally knows what’s going on but she’s honestly happy for them so she just smiles and leaves
- McGonagall forbidding Filch to come up the astronomy tower at night because she knows how much comfort Draco and Harry find in being up there, and she just wants them to be happy
- It’s just a very simple and carefree few weeks, and by the time the holidays end Draco can almost cast a patronus, because Harry is teaching him and they’re spending some of the best time Draco has ever had in his life

4
But what about the muggle born wizards...

…who still go home every summer? Sure they have magic now, but that doesn’t mean they don’t still spend a LOT of time in the muggle world. Are you telling me that muggle borns have had absolutely no influence on Hogwarts student culture?

Think about Gryffindors, full of energy and wanting to play but unable to ride their brooms well enough to ever be coordinated enough for Quidditch. So they play touch football on the weekends. And the Hufflepuff muggle borns are, like, hell yeah! Let’s play touch and make friends! And of course the Slytherins are not about to let the Gryffindors start a league and be competitive without them, so they start to play. And the Ravenclaws join up and some of them get really into how you can retool standard Quidditch plays for football. And by the end the wizard kids have been drawn in too, of course, at first wondering what the hell this sport is and how could it possibly be better than Quidditch, but then everyone starts play tackle because of course they do, they’re teenagers, and suddenly the wizards are like, “Wait, you mean I get to be the Bludger? I’m in!” And the girls play too, of course, because Quidditch isn’t gendered so why should football be? And by the end of the year they have a whole league set up and they even convince Mrs. Hooch to let them transform the Quidditch pitch for games and everyone comes and cheers and it’s all around a good time.


And all the Hufflepuffs who wanted to do drama in middle or high school and suddenly they’re magic and all these new avenues open up. They can do Peter Pan where the characters actually fly! And only a few of their friends come to the first performance, some muggle born, others wizard, but the production is so good that they all talk about it and get the other houses interested to. So the Hufflepuffs hold open auditions for their next performance and they do a version of Beauty and the Beast where they transfigure the actors into actual living household objects. And for that, of course, they need serious help, and they get a bunch of seventh years to help with that and so now there’s just a bunch of drama kids running around talking about how to stage different muggle productions and what spells can be used and Professor Sprouts eventually convinces Dumbledore to set up a theater so that they’ll stop holding their meetings in the Hufflepuff common room.


Or what about the Ravenclaws who want to start a debate team and at first all the wizards think they’re crazy, but then the muggle borns do a demonstration and the wizards realize they can argue about just about anything, from spells to wizard politics and suddenly there’s practice debates going on in the middle of hallways and class, but the wizards get over excited and they turn into shouting matches while the muggle borns try to get them to “Calm down, please, you’re not using sources like I taught and what the hell don’t hex me!” And then a Gryffindor throws in their opinion one day and get’s drawn in, followed by a Slytherin because they always want to get the last word. And the muggle born debaters realize they need help so they recruit a bunch of Hufflepuffs to act as judges and decide who wins and who loses. And eventually they get a professor to hold real debates (rules and all!) and winning teams earn house points, just like in Quidditch.


And finally, the Slytherin muggle borns who are SO DONE with having no electronics because, seriously, they have social media to keep up with back home and who else will create a Hogwarts Pintrest board or blog if they don’t? And so they get a petition going and all the other muggle borns are immediately on board and after weeks of talking about it nonstop they get the wizard students to sign it as well. Then after a few more weeks of well reasoned arguments and some master manipulation they get each of the heads of house to sign it and take it to Dumbledore with a plan for how to keep wizard things separate from the world wide web, but make both accessible to all students and then he yes, finally!, and someone pulls out a gameboy they brought even though they knew it wouldn’t work and a first year pulls out a playstation he didn’t know wouldn’t work and they introduce the rest of Slytherin to Pokemon and Mario Cart and nobody sees any of the Slytherins after that for weeks, except in class, and they’re all mumbling nonsense about Pikachu and turtle shells.

Because Jilytober started today…


  • The only light came from the kitchen, down the stairs to the right.
  • Otherwise, the two figures on the staircase were unlit.
  • James stood a mere five steps above the cloaked, snake-like, for lack of a better word, man. Their wands were raised, curses on their lips…
  • But James’ thoughts were elsewhere.
  • All he could think of was Lily upstairs in the nursery, clutching Harry to her chest.
  • Lily. It had been four years of pure bliss. Four.
  • James felt a sudden anger rip through his chest because fuck, they were suppose to have a lifetime.
  • A lifetime of blueberry pancake Sundays (from that muggle mix that Lily showed him - “I wish you’d let me make them from scratch, James…”).
  • A lifetime of kisses, and arguing who has to get up to turn the light off before they remember they have wands.
  • A lifetime of teaching Harry how to play Quidditch, buying him his first broomstick- Harry.
  • His Harry.
  • His baby boy that he’d only known for one, short, bloody brilliant year.
  • James’ hand shook as he clutched his wand, full of not only rage, but desperation. 
  • Because he had to be there for Harry. They had to be there for Harry, Lily and him, they had to be there.
  • There were so many moments ahead that James absolutely refused to miss, so many things that hadn’t happened.


  • Yet here he stood: His hand trembling, face to face with unavoidable death.
  • He knew it was coming. It had to come because he had to protect the two people, upstairs in the nursery, who he loved most…
  • “I won’t let you…” His voice trembled as he spat at the faceless man.
  • He had to be brave.


  • So, when the flash of green light overtook his vision, he let it.
  • Because he was protecting his family.
  • Right?


  • Lily heard the thump, heard the curse, but it still didn’t sink in right away.
  • Maybe he deflected it, she thought. He’ll come running down the hallway and take us away from here
  • But she clutched the whimpering baby closer to her and felt tears fall down her face
  • Because it wasn’t James’ footsteps she heard
  • They were slow, erie.
  • And she knew what was coming


  • So she pressed a lingering kiss to Harry’s forehead, and rested him in his crib.
  • She knew she didn’t have much time so she bent low, staring at Harry through the bars.
  • “I love you H…” She reached through, allowing Harry to wrap his little hand around her fingers, “ And Dada loves you… So much-”
  • And the footsteps stopped at the door.
  • She swallowed past the lump in her throat, “Be brave, Harry.”
  • And she withdrew her hand, straightening up and facing the door.
  • “J-James?” She called out because she could still hope, couldn’t she?


  • But the door was pushed open, it creaked slowly because James still hadn’t managed to get around to fixing that.
  • And when Lily’s eyes met the face of the hooded figure, she didn’t flinch.
  • She didn’t cry out - she didn’t so much as whimper
  • Because she had to be strong. She had to be brave.


  • And when her flash of green came, that’s exactly what she was: Brave.


  • For Harry.
Zodiacs During a Quidditch Match
  • Aries: Where's the snitch.
  • Taurus: I have to make sure that the seekers don't catch me when I fly here, but I can't go there without making sure it's clear over there... But what if I fly there instead...
  • Gemini: I can fly past the beaters or I can fill in for seeker- I can do anything really.
  • Cancer: What if I fly over here while the beaters are right there? But then I'll hurt the other team's seeker if they fly past me...
  • Leo: I have to make sure everyone on this side of the field is safe and that the people here actually do stuff.
  • Virgo: How about some quidditch eh?
  • Libra: But seriously guys let's play fair.
  • Scorpio: Internally more excited than externally showing it.
  • Sagittarius: Can we play tomorrow? I'm just not really feeling it today...
  • Capricorn: We're gonna have a great game today, win, and play smart. That's all we have to do. That's literally all we have to do. Right? Yeah- right?
  • Aquarius: *stealth mode activated
  • Pisces: What if I try the new thing that I was doing yesterday?
Two Weddings and a trip to St.Mungo’s.

Or read here!

“I need to get married, Pans.” He whispered, the delicate silver envelope in hand dropping down onto the coffee table.
“Whatever for?” She braced herself, gathering her arms across her chest protectively.
“Because-” He began, but chose instead to throw the silver card at her to catch.
“Ginevra Molly Weasley and Harry James Potter, formally request the honour of your presence at their wedding!” Pansy’s eyes bulged in their sockets. “Wedding?! But! Since when? Last I heard that red headed bint was flying round the world playing Quidditch! How did they manage this?”
Draco shrugged.
“This still doesn’t explain why you need to get married.” She sighed, waving the invitation in hand dramatically.
“I need to get married because he is.” Draco said, as if that would suddenly explain everything.
“If this is out of competition then you are more of an idiot than I-” He turned away from Pansy’s harsh glare.
She let the silence simmer between them, didn’t dare move a muscle least it set him off. She knew better than interrupt him when he was like this.
Finally, he turned eyes glassy and raw looking. “Pansy. I said I need to get married, because he is getting married.” He enunciated the ‘he’ as if the very word carried the weight of the world, and then, she realized that maybe it did, for Draco’s world at least.

-X-

When the war was over Blaise Zabini, having little connection to the dark side and the ambition to make something of himself, decided to get a job. His mother, having acquired her wealth due to a series of mysteriously dead husbands didn’t want for anything. Blaise however felt the urge to prove himself to the greater known wizarding world and signed up for the Auror Corp.
Which is how, after a few hard years, and a few dozen more dangerous missions later Blaise Zabini had come into the position to find himself within this very office to say the words, “Fuck off Potter.” With good mirth knowing it would be well received by said Potter. Harry Potter, who was of course, his Auror partner.
“I swear, you should have seen your face when the pus hit you!” Potter laughed, leaning back against the leg of his chair.
“You should have seen yours when you had to file the reports later!” Blaise countered, smugly accepting victory as Harry’s face contorted with the haunting memory of ‘Section 38’s Unknown Substance’ files.
“Touche.” Potter murmured.
“Knock Knock?” Draco spoke from the open door, “Blaise, a word?”
Potter, sat up straight, fixing his chair. Eying Draco like a puppy aching for attention. “Malfoy.” He said in greeting.
“Potter.” Draco nodding in return. Blaise watched him fumble with his manilla folder, “I see that congratulations are in hand. I hope you and Miss Weasley will be very happy.”
And with that he was out the door, leaving Blaise to follow.

-X-

“I think this is a bad idea Draco. Pureblood crap like this should actually go extinct with all that Dark Lord crap. It’s basically an arranged marriage. Surely you see that!” Pansy cried, Draco hushed her with a look and she sat back into the wicker of her chair, fiddling with the teaspoon resting by her latte.
“The whole point is, Pans, that I am the one arranging it. Not my parents, not a century old blood pact or a cursed bonding trinket, me! If I want to get married, I will chose one of these lovely ladies and procure Malfoy heir’s until I die! Now help me choose! What about this one?”
Pansy sneered, ignoring the insecurity of how much she knew it made her look like a pug. “This agency is barbaric, they’ve written her out to sound like a piece of cattle. Refined features, family of good breeding. Wand, maple oak, magic reserved but readily responding to wandwork.”
Draco rolled his eyes and snorted a little, knowing fairly well how ridiculous it sounded.
“Draco. You’re gay. We’ve both known this since fourth year. You can’t just ignore this for the rest of your life. Just to avoid how in love with P-”
“Here you go! The enchanted wax cheesecake! And the cherry drizzle sponge! Anything else I can get you?” The waitress interrupted.
“No thank you!” He smiled with sickening sweetness.
“Draco!” Pansy warned.
“Hush. Eat your cake.” He commanded, before shaking out the agency case files, and starting over them again.”

-X-

“Marry me!” She was wet, she was stormy, she was having none of his shit as she burst through his Floo, covering herself in soot.
“The fuck Pansy what happened?!” Draco leapt from his couch to her aid.
“If you’re going to have a sham wedding, and have a sham of marriage, have it with me!” She declared.
“Pans!” He sighed, curling the conjured towel around her shoulders.
“You’re my best friend. I know you. I love you. We can make it work! I’m not seeing anyone and nobody is willing to give me much time anyway since the war, so why not?” She reasoned resolutely.
“That’s ridiculous Pansy. I’m not holding you back from a lifetime of happiness!” He guided her back the fireplace, the green flames turning orange once more heating them at once.
“We’ll both see men on the side! It’s a perfect arrangement. No one gets hurt! And if you really want to beget children, then who better than to carry them but your best friend? Not some snot of a wife who’ll try to use them to manipulate you should things go sour? We could even do it all clinically, St.Mungo’s can impregnate my eggs with your swimmers we’d never have to share a bed!”
“Pansy.” He gasped, “You don’t know what you’re offering! What if you meet someone? What if you find someone you could share your life with?”
“Then we can get divorced!” She smiled, her breath finally reaching its calm. “Besides Draco, I refuse to believe that you know what you are throwing away! Just because you can’t have Potter, doesn’t mean you’ll never be happy. You could find another!-”
“Yes, well, as you said. There is always divorce.” He stood up to face the flames.
“Is that a yes?” Pansy asked after a time.
“Yes.” He whispered, Pansy had never heard such a broken, tortured sound.

-X-

“Is it true?”
“Excuse me?” Draco turned to face Harry, cup of tea in hand to steady him, alone in the breakroom.
“You and Pansy.” Harry explained.
Oh! “Um, yes. Quite.” He took a sip, trying to recover his resolve.
“I wasn’t aware you were that close! All those pub nights and you never even mentioned…” Harry quietened strangely.
“Potter, she’s my best friend.” He said, not needing to lie, gripping the cup tighter.
“Oh right. Of course. I mean, I didn’t mean to. I just wondered, I mean.” Harry rambled awkwardly, looking as he if he wanted to back away through the door at any given moment.
“Yes well. Um, I’m needed back in records. So unless you have a mission report to file with me, I must be going.” In truth, Draco needed to find enough distance to breathe again.
“Right of course. Well, again. If I didn’t say it before. Congratulations Malfoy. I wish you every happiness.” Harry’s green eyes shone, even through the glasses and Draco knew without a doubt that he meant it.

-X-

“I didn’t want to go to this. I don’t know how you dragged me to this thing.” He murmured to his ‘fiance’ who glittered in blue alongside him.
“You wanted this wedding to happen sooner rather than later, and this was my only concession. If you are going to sink your head in the sand, fine, I will even pin back your hair for you. But you are not getting out of facing this.” Pansy snipped at him, eyes front.
“Yes ma’am.” He murmured, only half teasing.
Potter looked handsome, so handsome he outshone everyone around him, which Draco assumed he should on his wedding day. Ron Weasley stood beside him nervously, Blaise on the other side of him, looking cool and collected. The traitor, Blaise was supposed to be his friend.
“I heard it’s shotgun wedding!” The witches in front of them whispered noisily. “Got her pregnant, vowed to marry her, keep her a decent woman!” They laughed in a gaggle of ugly sounds before adding, “Though from what I’ve heard she was never all that decent!”
He kicked the back of their chairs, crossing his legs flamboyantly when they turned back to glare at him. “Pardon.” He answered. Pansy sniggered beside him.

Draco felt his guts turn when the music played, watched as Harry’s face distorted into pure happiness as his bride started walking down the aisle. Dressed in lace, form fitting robes, coming to her ankles, her hair swept up on top of her head in a knot.
They met with joined hands, shared a whisper and a fit of giggles.
If Pansy hadn’t blocked him from the aisle he would have made a run for it by now, instead she just took his hand and squeezed. He screwed his eyes shut and waited for it to all be over.
“Witches and Wizards, Goblins and Freefolk! We are gathered today to share in sanctioned matrimony the union of this witch and the this wizard. In-”
There was a blue flash, a shock of spellfire and quick as a whip, Ginny removed her wand from a sheath hidden in Harry’s sleeve, Harry pulled his own, from a hidden pocket amongst Ginny’s laces and fired protection spells around the entire gathering.
As several key people jumped into the action, including Blaise and the Weasel. Finnigan? Where had he come from? Auror Thompson?! Draco realized, that the whole thing had been a set up.

-X-

They’d given their statements to the overseeing Wizards, and retreated to a small cafe an apparition away in Paris.
“Well, thank god for that! To think you almost got married over a Ministry Sanctioned Trap! Neo-Death Eaters, threats against the Chosen One! Who knew?!” Pansy smiled like the cat who got the cream.
“Pansy.” He said for the third time before catching her out of her revere. “I’m still going through with this. If you refuse, I’ll stick to my original plan.”
“But why Draco?!” She barked, slamming her cup down harshly.
“Don’t think it’ll look highly suspect if as soon as this wedding sham has been discovered that we suddenly break off our engagement? I’ve thought about this too much. I’m going through with it.”
“And if I say no and back out anyway? What will your poor Potter think then? Huh?”
“I can just say that I am desperate to settle down, and then start spouting pureblood tripe until everyone believes me!” Draco spat back with equal desperate venom.
“Why are you doing this? It can’t all be over Potter can it?” She leaned forward to reach for him. “You can’t possibly think that you can’t find happiness without him!”
Draco jutted out his jaw, sulking rather than talking. “For now, no. And as I am the last Malfoy heir, I think it would be rather pertinent to create more and keep the line going. If nothing else, I can manage that.”
Pansy was lost for words, resolving instead to call the waiter over, ordering a large bottle of highly expensive wine. I silent truce it seemed was in order.

-X-
“Knock knock!” Potter came through the door just as Draco was spelling his tie together.
“Potter. What are you doing here?” He spat before he could say anything else. “I mean, you RSVP’d that you couldn’t make it. I just didn’t expect you, is all.”
Harry laughed nervously, dressed to the nines. Draco wanted to pull him apart and piece him back together again with his mouth. He stifled the emotion down, and fixed his tie. “Well, actually I’m the bearer of bad news. Blaise told me to offer you his sincerest apologies. He’s on mission and couldn’t make it without breaking cover.”
“What are you doing here Potter? He’s your partner! You should be out there with him!” Draco got mad a little suddenly, tempering himself, it wasn’t Potter’s fault, he didn’t know.
“After the wedding shenanigans I’ve been given sabbatical for a month. Rogers is with Blaise now. Actually, Blaise asked me to fill in.” Harry winced.
“He’s my best man.”
“I know, look, I’m sorry, I know you’d rather Zabini, you’ve been friends much longer but I’m still here for you. No matter what you want to do. I mean, just- if you want to find someone else to stand up there with you. That’s fine. I can go get them if you’d like.”
It occurred to Draco, that it would be the only time in his life he’d be able to get married with Harry by his side, that he didn’t even care if it were on the wrong side of him, so he said. “No it’s fine. Please. Potter, be my best man.”

Pansy looked beautiful, and he ached suddenly for another life, where this would mean more to him than it actually did. Pansy’s dress, was nothing like Ginny’s it was big, expensive and encrusted with diamonds. Pansy looked regal despite it all and Draco felt suddenly so proud for knowing her, such a deep and loyal friend.
He was crying he realized. Tears streaming down his face, marrying his best friend, standing next to the man he was in love with, crying like a child.
If Pansy noticed the change in best man, she didn’t mention it, or give sign to noticing the change, when she reached him, she reached out for his hands and took them, squeezing them in hers. “Pet.” She whispered, wiping away his tears.
They stood, and they started, they got as far as the vows before a patronus came tearing through the proceedings, the tall giraffe reaching Potter, who trembled behind him.
“Zabini. Code 525. St.Mungo’s!” The patronus announced in an ominous voice.
Harry looked at him then in a panic, “Code 525 that’s-!”
“I know what it bloody well means Potter, I file all your damn reports!” Draco spat in a rush, grabbing onto Pansy’s outstretched hands and taking Harry’s into the other one. From there he apparated them both out from his own damn wedding.
Code 525. Auror down.

-X-

“Draco! You realize what you just did?” Harry cried.
“Potter! He’s our best friend. Find his room number now!” Pansy barked, gathering her skirts into her hands, ready to rush to Blaise’s side.
“Right.” Harry conceded and rush they did. First, to the nurses station for the room number and then to the spell damage ward. When they got to Blaise’s room, they found him unconscious and alone. The room eerily free of Healers.
“I’m going to find someone.” Pansy announced, “I need to find out what’s going on!”
Harry stood by Blaise’s side, reaching for the Healers report, trying to discern what it said. “I should have been there. No matter what it was. You were right. I’m his partner I should have been there. Potion’s ring be damned. Fuck the sabbatical!”
“Why is it always a bloody potion’s ring?” Draco cursed, edging closer to Potter by the foot of the bed. “Anyone with that amount of potions talent would surely make a killing above board. Potion’s do not come cheap!” He prattled, nervously trying to fill the empty room with something.
“Look, I’m sorry bout your wedding.” Harry whispered.
Draco waved it off. “Don’t worry. I’m sure we could just do it again or something. I’m sure they’ll all understand once this comes to light.”
“Right. Right.” Harry shuffled on his feet a good minute, before sniffling. “I wish you wouldn’t.”
Blaise looked so lifeless, so pale in his unconscious state. Had they had to put him under a coma, or was that inflicted by his ailments? Draco wondered. His friend lying there in such a deathly state he almost missed Harry’s whispered confession.
“What?”
Harry turned on him in a panic, obviously emotional from the trauma of the situation. “I said I wish you wouldn’t. I know that I have no grounds to tell you this and telling you does nothing for either of us, in fact you might not want to speak to me ever again but when you do get married again I really won’t be there this time. Because I can’t watch you do it! I can’t watch you marry her. Even though I know you love her. I just can’t Draco!”
Potter, threw himself at Draco, his worried lips pressing onto Draco’s own just as Pansy walked back through the door, the touch gone as quick as it was given.
“Oh god!” Harry blanched, and tore out of the room, nearly knocking the Mediwitch over on his exit.
Pansy smirked a little before returning to the situation at hand, leaving Draco to stand back in shock.

-X-

“He was hexed, the warehouse was overrun. Bad intel. There was a potion explosion, which he would have successfully dodged, had he not been hexed into a lumbering speed. Roger’s died on impact.” Draco found Harry in the nearest waiting room, his head hanging over his knees, his hands over his face.
“Fuck!” Harry swore, leaning back suddenly to knock his head back into the wall behind him. “Rogers!”
“Pansy and I aren’t going to be getting married.” Draco said not a moment later.
“Fuck. Wait -what?” Harry looked up at him then, looking a complete wreck.
“Pansy made me go to your wedding. I couldn’t do it but she made me.” He kneeled down in front of Harry, crawling his way between Harry’s knees.
“What?”
“Us clerks down in records don’t have clearance high enough to know it wasn’t a real wedding. I thought… I thought.” He tried.
“You thought the wedding was real?” Harry finished for him, his eyes desperately trying to read his.
“Blaise takes his position very seriously. He didn’t even tell me. The git. But then again he didn’t know the kind of torture a false wedding invitation would inflict upon someone so hopelessly in love with-” Draco’s voice broke and his face threatened to break out into tears for the second time that day.
Harry inhaled deeply, shaking with breath.
“Potter. Kiss me again. Please.” Draco breathed.
“Pansy.”
Draco smiled softly, watching the effect of it sweep across Harry’s face. “Pansy is my best friend. She offered to marry me out of convenience. She has in fact been ruthlessly trying to make me give up marriage-”
Harry kissed him, and it was so sweet that Draco crushed his eyes closed and leaned into it. Harry kissed so feverently, his insides felt as if they would burst.
“Marry me.” Harry smiled, breaking away from the kiss in a breathless daze.
“What?” Draco cried.
“Not now, I mean. Don’t give up marriage completely. Just you know, keep it open for me. I mean.” Harry rambled, and Draco realized then that it was a nervous tick, how endearing it seemed almost novel, Draco made Harry feel flustered!
“Okay.” Draco smiled, kissing the corner of Harry’s mouth. “I will keep marriage on the table. For you.”
Harry chuckled with nervous happiness and with such unbridled relief, they couldn’t keep themselves apart, nestling into each other’s arms. Resting their foreheads together, they shared whispers and kisses long after Pansy found them sitting there.
Leaning into the doorway watching happily, Pansy crossed her arms across her chest, cold in the ridiculous wedding dress.
“He’s awake.” She smiled after some time, and found when they looked up to see her there, that they returned her smile, tenfold.