how to perform the haka

Why Fate of the Furious is Awesome

I’m gonna try and keep this relatively spoiler-free, but just in case something slips past, don’t read this if you don’t want to know why I fucking adore this movie.

1) Family Values
Pretty much every character except the villain has a family they’d do anything for, and I love it. Is it cheesy? Yes, but I love cheese, and I love how each of these badass ex-con, ex-cop badasses love their family.

2) The Villain
I love Charlize Theron already, but as a villain, and a fucking terrifying one at that? Man, she SHINES.

3) The Female Characters
The main villain is a woman, half the main cast are women, the day is saved because Vin Diesel’s character asked the help of a woman. And did I mention the women also kick major ass? Two are hackers, and one fucking chops a guy in half with a submarine propeller and glares a dude down while he has a gun to her face. The women are badass.

4) Every Extra Car Missing From the Roads in Previous Installments Comes Back
You’ll know what I mean when it happens. You’ll know.

5)The Rock Performs a Haka
You don’t understand how awesome this was. Not only did they respect the Rock’s culture (they had someone write out the Haka, then send it down south to be approved by Maori Elders), but they allowed him to perform it, along with a bunch of little kids who did a damn fine job with that choreography and chanting. You know how badass it was to see that and not have it made fun of? Say what you will about this franchise, but they respected this and I respect them for that.

6)The Over-the-Topness
At one point, they have a retrofitted Cold War submarine firing missiles at them. They end up blowing the submarine up. This was after the scene in New York where Charlize Theron’s character rains literal cars down on a Russian ambassador that has nuclear launch codes, and also after Vin Diesel’s character drives a car backwards, while it is also on fire, to win a race. These movies are legendary for this stupid action scenes, but my god they’re fun.

7) Every Scene With Jason Statham and the Baby
IT’S JUST SO FUCKING CUTE.

8) Mama Shaw
Mother of two cold-blooded killers making one of her sons feel bad by crying so that he’ll take his brother along for his terrorist killing spree? I said it before, and I’ll say it again: the women in this movie are great.

9)Nobody Dies (Well, a couple do, but the main cast? Nah)
This movie is about saving the world, about the government sucking ass and screwing people over, it’s about fast cars and cyberterrorism, but most of all, it’s about family. It’s about a family, found and otherwise, of non-white people (unless you count Mr. Nobody and Little Nobody or The Shaws as part of the Fam) surviving hardships and trusting each other no matter what. In this day and age, we need that. We need that kind of happy ending bad, man. 

10)Brian Marcus Toretto

I hope that explains a bit more why I like this movie.