how to not be heterosexual 101

Right-Wing Theory 101

RICH PEOPLE ARE BETTER THAN POOR PEOPLE:
Obviously, otherwise they wouldn’t be rich.

WHITE PEOPLE ARE BETTER THAN BLACK PEOPLE:
You can tell by how often we have them arrested.

MEN ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN:
It’s biology, people!

CHRISTIANS [sic] ARE BETTER THAN MUSLIMS:
They do all the terrorism. Ever.

CHRISTIANS [sic] ARE BETTER THAN JEWS:
It’s an evil conspiracy to work hard and be successful. Because they love money. Unlike rich people (see above).

HETEROSEXUALS ARE BETTER THAN GAYS, TRANS PEOPLE, ASEXUALS, AND ANYONE ELSE WHO CHALLENGES THE GENDER BINARY OR DOESN’T USE THEIR GENITALS IN THE APPROVED MANNER:
It’s unnatural! It doesn’t happen in nature! Except when it happens in nature. Which is proof they’re no better than animals.


SMART PEOPLE ARE BETTER THAN STUPID PEOPLE:

AAAAAUGH! ELITMISM! PREJUMADICE! FANCY-PENCE IVORY TOWER EDUCATED SCIENCE EVOLUTION-BELIEVING EAST-COAST ELITES! YOU’RE THE REAL NAZIS!