how to meet men

Meeting Jonathan Groff

-So last night, as many of you know, I met The Jonathan Groff, who is as nice and as beautiful as you think he is!

So the only reason why I was standing across the street of 54 Below, is because my mom wanted to see how Jeremy was acting with other people ( she was convinced he was being rude to us last night, even though we both know he’s just kinda awkward)

- so we’re across the street, waiting for him to come out, but we notice the people at the stagedoor are not from the show, and that’s when we find out “oh Jeremy’s show is later! The earlier show just got out!”

- As we are about to leave, I spot a guy come out of the stagedoor and I poke my mom and say “That guy kinda looks like Jonathan Groff! But it’s probably not him lmao” and then my mom looks up what the previous show was and was like “ it is him!”

- so obviously we go over there, and my mom just kinda pushes me into the stagedoor crowd and my heart is thumping really bad. This random mom pats me on the backs and talks to me until Groff walks over.

- This random ass mom PUSHES me towards him and says “This young lady is terrified to meet you!” And obviously I must have the Deer in the Headlights look on my face bc Groff smiles at me and says all soft-spoken “Hi! My name is Jonathan!”

- at this point I’m still terrified so I say “H-hi! My name is Amber! I know you’re Jonathan!” And then I laughed awkwardly. The mom decides to butt in and say “She’s auditioning for Sprong Awakening soon!” And Groff was like “Oh cool! What song will you sing?” And I had obviously he was so close to me at this point hc we were about to take a pic together that my mind just blanked and I said “I don’t know yet!”

- After the picture he pointed to my shirt and said “I love that show! Watching it really calms me down, I was watching it right before I got here!!” And I smiled and was like “ Same!! What episode?” And he told me it was the one where Monica gets stung by a jellyfish and I laughed. I told him “Have a good night!” And he said “You too!” And went to go talk to other people and I DIED INSIDE

So: occasionally, people find it weird that Arwen’s visit to Lothlórien lasted for Aragorn’s entire upbringing—some twenty years. The Rivendell folk don’t talk about it. It’s not a big deal. 

I don’t actually take any issue with it, myself. These are Elves. What are twenty years to them? A nice vacation, apparently. Seems legit.

But that leads to an actually happy thought:

I am 100% convinced that, in times of peace during those early centuries, Elrond would have visited Elros in Númenor. But if Arwen’s trips are anything to judge by, it wouldn’t be a few weeks, or a few months. Elrond quite possibly spent decades chilling around in Númenor. 

I mean, I’ve been shrieking about how Elrond considers his children Númenórean. From that, it follows—or precedes—that he considers himself Númenórean. That makes the most sense if he actually spent, you know, some time living there.

Perhaps, in a way, Númenor was his home, too.
How to bag a billionaire
Lara Asprey, 33, from Ascot, is a high-society match-maker who helps people find love. Her skill is playing cupid for ultra-high-net-worth individuals - and she's extremely good at what she does.

Lara has always collected names in a little black book - literally - and brought what she refers to as ‘Sloaney sorts’ together. She holds details of more than 2,000 eligible men and women aged from 19 to 75, but her bespoke match-making client list is much smaller with more male millionaires and billionaires, and most of them are in their 40s and 50s.

Seventy per cent work in the City in some capacity. There are bankers, hedgefund managers and CEOs, but also high-ranking civil servants, professional golfers and landed gentry. She has lots of Old Etonians and Harrovians and Oxbridge types.

'Life is increasingly difficult for very successful men over 50,’ she explains. 'They have a professional profile and value privacy. They don’t want to put themselves out there.

'It makes them feel uncomfortable and they don’t have the time, what with the amount of travel and work they do. They’re not necessarily extroverts. They can broker billion-pound deals, but are shy when it comes to romance.

'They don’t want to ask friends or colleagues for introductions and certainly don’t want to do online dating.’

(Spoilers, spoilers for GotG everywhere!)

Headcanon that Peter, in a way, saved Yondu, too, without even knowing it.

According to the wiki, Yondu was exiled from the Ravagers by Stakar after he picked Peter up, pretty much around the same time, even.

Please consider how Yondu must have felt around that time. Stakar was the one to get him out of slavery. Stakar was the one to train him into a right Ravager, to groom him until he was ready to become a Captain himself. Yondu was a part of Stakar’s closest team, and judging from how both men reacted when meeting at the Iron Lotus, they were very close before the banishment, and both very hurt and scared by what they felt had been a betrayal from their opposite.

That’s not just a boss-subordinate-relationship – Yondu and Stakar were friends, perhaps even family, most likely something akin to what Peter and Yondu had.

And Yondu, boom, lost it. Yondu lost his second family abruptly and with the knowledge that they probably despised him for what he had done. He lost them because of a mistake – a mistake he regretted, as shown by the fact that he kept Peter by his side to save at least one child’s life.

And here comes the headcanon and the key to that one.  


Peter may have been and even now may be a stubborn brat sometimes with no respect at all – but he’s also bright, kind, and captivating. People love him easily – he loves easily, and that makes it very easy to become friends with him. I reckon that Peter, though treated not that softly and kindly by Yondu, still was one of the main reasons why Yondu didn’t lose the last bit of the softness in his heart after his fallout with Stakar.

Plus, having a curious and adventurous child on a spaceship – a Ravager ship nonetheless – is pretty much a good distraction from sorrows and worrisome thoughts, since one tends to spend a good time chasing after said child with no room in his mind to worry about anything else.

Instead of mourning what he had lost - what he had gambled and lost – Yondu could concentrate on raising Peter instead. Even had fun with it, if that smile in the scene where he teaches Peter how to shoot is any indication.

Yondu had fun raising Peter.  Not always, but he had. And he was proud of the boy. And somewhere along the line, he came to consider Peter as his son, and himself as the boy’s Daddy. Which means - Yondu loved Peter.

Which is freaking important because Yondu being able to love at all would probably be doubted by pretty much the whole universe. The slave, the thief, the thug, the man-who-sold-children-and-got-expelled, still had a heart left to love.

It’s my understanding that Peter is pretty much the reason that this could still happen after all those scars Yondu’s heart and soul had taken.

Yondu may have saved Peter more times than either of them can count, dragging the boy out of danger and fights and, in the end, sacrificing everything for him – but I strongly believe that, especially in the beginning, Peter was the one to save Yondu.

He saved Yondu’s heart.

botw - alternatively

in BotW, Urbosa mentions that ancient of days original Ganon is said to have taken the form of a Gerudo King back in the day. I feel like this actually made quite an impact of Gerudo culture. The impact is almost no Gerudo ever identify as male even all these centuries later. 

those who did tended to get alot of pressure and scrutiny from their fellow Gerudo and often left their country, usually forever. in fact, the pressure on young Gerudo to travel and go on coming-of-age sabbaticals into the rest of the kingdom is actually a tradition directly attributed to this phenomenon. The elders decided to encourage travel so that young Gerudo would see other cultures that actually DON’T put tremendous pressure on gender and get them to fucking chill. Cut their own men some slack. 

This greatly increased the number of Gerudo over the years who returned and were willing to identify as male. In fact, the journey is often where Gerudo are expected to make a decision about their identify. Most other Hylian races are totally unaware of this as most Gerudo on their pilgrimage will blandish about ‘looking for a husband’ if you ask them why they are traveling. It’s bullshit. Not always, but usually its code for “not sure if I’m a guy or a girl. Let me figure it out.” 

Dead on Arrival Part Two (mobster bucky x reader)

Originally posted by totheendofthelinepal

Summary: Bucky’s the mobster king of Brooklyn. His word is law. You’d be a goddamned fool not to be on his side.

Word Count: 2.5K

Warnings: mentions of parental death, mentions of drinking, maybe a few swears??

A/N: I have this fic up on my other blog. But I will be deleting that entire blog, soon enough. I know a lot of the people on my tag lists have seen this before, and for that i do apologize. Feedback makes me utterly happy.

A/N(s): I’m debating on posting part three because seriously?? it’s really discouraging when you tag people who don’t leave any type of feedback. 

Dead on Arrival Masterlist

It had been two days after her meeting with Barnes’ men. And no matter how much she tried, she couldn’t shake off Nick’s threats from her mind.

“You’re a ruddy fool if you deny him, Y/N,” Nick spoke as the three of them surrounded her on the couch. She sat with Clint on her right side, Steve to her left. Nick stood in front of her, looking as menacing and vile as ever.

“Do you carry drinks in your home?” he asked her, casually flicking his cigar onto the carpet, stepping on the ember ashes, ignoring the burnt markings that now rested in the plush flooring.

“In the kitchen,” she mumbled, pointing with her finger. “Wine is in the fridge, glasses on the rack by the window.”

“Steve,” ordered Nick without so much as a glance at the man.

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Part Time Jobs that are Good for Sugaring

I’ve read lots of “How To” job post on how to meet wealthy men. But a lot of them are paraprofessional jobs (i.e. air hostess, car dealership, etc) that require a lot of time, training, and unavailable commitment. But, if you’re in school and or just in between SDs and need to make ends meet. Here are some decent, everyday, and easy part time jobs that also keep your eyes on the prize.

1. 💊 Cashier at a Pharmacy: in wealthy subdivisions ONLY. Hardly anyone is exempt from needing an Rx here or there. Esp. old, high net worth, highly stressed men. lol

2. 🕋 Front Desk at A Hotel: For obvious reasons. This is a job that I heavily considered BUT, be careful. Most hotel chains have a strict “No Fraternizing with Guest” policy, even off premises! This can apply to casino workers also. This can be kind of counterproductive, which is why I chose not to pursue. But hey, maybe you can!

3. 🥃Bartender: at High End restaurants ONLY. Bar tending can be kind of stressful, UNLESS, you’re meeting rich men every night. So, def aim for the high end bars.

❗️But not serving.
I served for years. But found, that no matter how many wealthy men were attracted to me. They simply WERE NOT going to risk the indiscretion to exchange contact with “the help” over a table full of business pals & colleagues who, ALSO know they’re married. Bars attract solo patrons and tend to be more discreet.

4. 🍺 Concession Stands: at professional/college sports stadiums and arenas. Get those beer mugs ready! lol.

5. 👔 Luxury MEN retailers: any Men’s Warehouse, Polo, Hugo, etc in the mall. Mmmm 😋

6. 🍷Quality Steak, Specialty Foods, & Wine Shops: Most men who are wealthy tire/bore of the fancy restaurants and business-over-dinner meals. So they end up grilling, cooking, and drinking at home alone. Yet they still want and seek quality in their food.

7. ✈️ Retailers, Restaurants, Vendors IN an airport:
I remember being lost at the Raleigh-Durham Int Airport trying to find my terminal. And every now and then I would walk past a watch shop or restaurant/grill only to see some succulently wealthy looking man by himself or sitting at the bar. If only I knew then what I know now, lol.

8. 🏌Country Club: bartender or golf services.

9. 💻 Cashier/Specialist: at technology retailers or any place that sells high end gadgets.
Preference: Marvel (X-Men)

How You Meet

Characters: Alex Summers, Charles Xavier, Erik Lensherr, Hank McCoy, Logan Howlett, Peter Maximoff, Raven Darkholme.

Warnings: swearing, mugging, alcohol consumption and stealing

Request: “Preferences : X-men; how you meet (every characters you can?)” - anonymous

A/N: Sorry I didn’t do a lot of characters, but as of now those are the characters I feel most comfortable writing for from X-Men (seeing as I haven’t watched all the movies !!)

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Characters: Jimin x You

Genre: ceo!jimin || arranged marriage (I have no idea at this point)


next part 

It is tiring to be standing in front of all these people. All of them looking up at him expectantly, waiting upon his next words like hungry wolves. He is the bait that is dangled in front of them, and once he is dropped, they will pounce and devour until nothing is left.

The cameras flash again in his face, and the white spots swarm in his vision. Loud chatter fills his ears from his spot on the stage and he resists all temptation to turn on his heels to walk away. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

Amongst all the chaos, he is slightly calmed down by the sight of one person who remains unmoving. You stand – stoic and without expression – hands folded in front of you in a manner that is the same if not more serious than him.

“Jimin,” he hears you say the two syllables.

They fall flat, a name that over the years has accumulated many emotion but now, contain nothing.

He looks at you, standing beside him with your face towards the crowd in front. With a deep breath, he walks up towards all the reporters and opens his mouth. They all drop silent and wait.

“Yes, we are divorced.”

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X-Men Headcanon: How Logan acts when meeting your parents

Originally posted by johnwatsonfalls

  • Logan really wants to believe that he’s a cool cucumber and that he doesn’t care what your parents think of him, but in reality he is a mess. 
    • You repeatedly tell him that your parents will like him, but when that doesn’t work you try to assure him that you’ll love him even if they don’t. 
    • None of your tactics work so you just have to watch as he silently suffers. 
    • A few days before the two of you are scheduled to travel to your parents, Logan seems to have calmed down. But then you notice that his leg is shaking nonstop. It’s one of the few times you’ve seen Logan nervous enough to fidget. 
  • Everything changes when you pull up to your parent’s place. 
    • He suddenly becomes very still and looks calm, but you know better. 
    • You know that he’s giving himself a peptalk so that he doesn’t go crazy when he actually has to say hello to your parents for the first time. 
  • As you suspected from the beginning everything goes really well. 
    • Logan doesn’t talk much, but that’s not outside of his normal personality. 
    • If anything both Logan and your parents are equal parts intimidated. Your parents because Logan is very muscular and intimidating and Logan because your parents are the ones who raised you and he thinks you’re the best thing that has ever happened. 
  • Logan hasn’t had many homecooked meals in his life so the dinner that you’re family eats is one of the best meals he’s had and after all the food he feels significantly more relaxed. 
  • At the end of the night while the two of you are driving home you ask him if it was as bad as he thought it was going to be. 
    • He denies ever being nervous, because of course he has an image to maintain. 
    • But you know that he feels much better now than he did three days ago. 
  • It wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be, but he doesn’t really want to have another visit any time soon. 

anonymous asked:

I've never read any X-men comics, but Cyclops and Gambit are my favorite from the cartoon that used to air back in the 90s. Which leads to my question...what was Cyclops right about?

In it’s most basic form, it refers to whose side a person chose during the war between the X-Men & Avengers. This was a Marvel Comics event that took place in 2012, and set the stage for the current dynamic (Marvel NOW era) of the universe.

The face-off between Steve Rogers and Scott Summers, didn’t magically will itself into existence. It was the culmination of almost a decade’s worth of stories. The Marvel Universe is a grand tapestry of wonder. Individual, but interconnected pieces, each playing a role in the design of this epic. In order to properly understand the conflict between these two men, you need to understand the world that led them to that moment in time.

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how are men so astoundingly unselfaware?

how is it possible???

do they not hear themselves when they talk? does it not even occur to them to consider before they speak whether what they’re saying is appropriate, or adds to the conversation (for others) in literally any way?

i frequently have very little filter thanks to brain stuff but i STILL am not as fucking obnoxious to talk to as a man who seems to believe that any thought that comes to his mind is one thaat others, especially women, should be eager to hear and accept with joy.

‘oh yes, add to this rant about the misogyny inherent in ‘trends men hate’ articles with what you personally find sexy! thank you, i’ll aspire to your ideal instead!’

‘oh yes, please tell me all about your IQ and how you are WAY SMARTER than some rando you hated in school, apparently bc you think the convo everyone but you is engaged in is too boring to continue. this is exciting and interesting!’

‘oh, you have feelings about my body parts? i definitely want to know all about those feelings, i only come to game shops to meet people like you!’

how can men be so embarrassing and not even realise

anonymous asked:

Tell us a random story mama April!

Now Nonny did you mean an actual story that happened to me? Or a mysme story? 

A “me” story:
The other day at work I had a young man come up to me and start talking to me, nice enough boy to be sure- but then he started asking me questions. Questions which pertained nothing about my work or general chit chat deemed acceptable to have with someone you’ve just met. To be specific how hard it was for me to date when I worked such odd hours (I work 4am- 12pm). 

Of course I was taken aback. I was used to people straight up propositioning me but not actually ask about my apparent lack of love life. I smiled and nodded sadly as I continued to work. 

“It must be very hard right? How do you meet men?”

How do you know I want to date men? Maybe single women are easy to find. Probably not but you understand my point. 

“Well yeah, I mean… I guess it is very hard for me to date nowadays,” I replied having to agree to his general statement. 

“Yeah! All you have are us!” he answered, his grin turning somewhat more pointed. Boy… don’t even..

“Mmm I mean, it’s super hard to date nowadays seeing as I’m married.” 

That shut you up. 

He promptly nodded at me as a farewell and left. 

Good times. 

I then proceeded to wave to my husband from across the room and smile like an idiot.

A Mysme Drabble: 

Jumin looked adoringly down at his wife, her angelic face completely at ease as her deep breathes tickled at his bare chest. She was radiant and sublime, everything he could have ever wanted in his entire life. More than riches or fame… every thing. 

Except. In the dark of the night… alone in their room… he wanted something more. 

… the feeling to return to his arm. 

The woman had been sleeping on his arm for almost three hours now and Jumin was certain he would have to call the doctors in the morning to amputate the dead limb from his body, worn and withered away under his spouse’s weight. 

He loved MC to death, he truly did… but what sin did his arm ever do to her? 

He had tried to hold and and roll her over- little minx just held on and never let go of him.- and as sweet as he thought that was- his arm continued to suffer. He tried to irritate her, tickle her and prod her to push her to the state of almost consciousness but that didn’t work. She just snorted, and burrowed deeper into his side. Finally, he had had enough. He had to do it. For his arm. 

Jumin carefully reached over to the side of him and coaxed Elizabeth the third to walk up to his chest… so he could put her on top of MC’s sleeping face. 

“Ugh! Damn it! Elizabeth! Not again!” MC groaned as she spluttered away, pushing the cat and her beautiful fur off her head. She sat up and growled and threw an annoyed look at him, irritation scrawled over her lovely face. “Why does your cat hate me only when we sleep Jumin?” 

He shrugged as he patted his cat and patted the mattress beside him. 

“Perhaps it is not hate my love. Perhaps she loves you as much as me and wishes merely to be closer to you.” 

“Oh whatever it is- you keep her away from me tonight, lest i sleep on her head this time!” she said, poking her tongue out at the cat still in her husband’s arms. “Honestly- the fourth time this week! No cat nip for you tomorrow missy!” 

Jumin hushed the cat, his once dead arm slowly regaining feeling as he willed it to move along his pet’s lithe form. She purred in time with MC’s soft snores, his wife already back to sleep within minutes. The ebony haired man sighed and nuzzled at Elizabeth’s small pink nose. 

Thank you for coming to my rescue my darling. I promise I will give you all the scratches and cat nip you could want for. After all, you gave me back my arm. 

Jumin looked at the back of his sleeping wife’s body, the moonlight hitting her so perfectly he wanted to cry. He loved his wife, he truly did- but a man has got to do what a man has got to do… and sometimes let innocent pets take the fall for their actions. 

yes, bi women are so nurtured and validated and rewarded! that’s why they experience the highest rates of IPV when broken down by sexuality. men looooove nurturing and validating them. in fact bisexual women and cishet men host meetings every month to calculate how much patriarchal and capitalist power they’ll hold together. when marx wrote das kapital he said that the b in bourgeoise stands for bisexual women and the s in bisexual stands for surplus value. stay woke. 

Aha! I have managed to finish something! Because I think I am busy on @viperbranium‘s actual birthday, I shall post this early - have some fluffy first-meeting Evanstan writer-of-kid’s-books Seb and reading show host Chris AU! And have a lovely birthday, my dear! I hope it is EVERY BIT AS WONDERFUL as you deserve. <3333


Chris shows up for his first day on set nervous. He knows what he’s here to do, he knows he wants to do it, he just can’t quite shake the sense that he’s going to flub a line or sit too stiffly or fail completely at reading.

He eyeballs the children’s book in question. He’s read it three times to get used to the rhythms, the pacing. Lots of good messages. Superheroes, compassion, accepting help.

The book eyeballs him right back, but somehow does so with kindness. It knows about encouraging nervous kids. Chris Evans, clumsy with enthusiasm, is pretty much a big kid at heart, and could use the reassurance, right?

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we all know that one person who is suspiciously good at meeting celebrities. like you know they’re attending school and working a part time job and never leave the house on the weekends, yet somehow they’ve met all of your favorite bands, got super adorable pictures and videos with them, and have even met some of them more than once??? and its not like they paid four hundred dollars for a meet n’ greet. nah, they just FIND these famous people in random places. like how??? what pagan ritual did u use to become this lucky???? how many virgins did u sacrifice for that selfie with beyonce