how to masturbate

anonymous asked:

do you remember your first time cumming/masturbating? How did it happen?

I don’t really remember. I do remember googling “how to masturbate” 🤷🏻‍♂️

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This might be the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever watched. And I’ve watched a lot of things.

Steve Rogers (NSFW Alphabet)

Number three for my 500 follower thing! Steve Rogers for @sistasarah-sallysaidso 

tags: @yourtropegirl @itsanerdlife @lipstickandwhiskey @captainumeboshi @feelmyroarrrr @emily-james-barnes (maybe. do you like steeb? i forget)

A/N: i’ll add links later, if i have time. 

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Writing is Hard, Part 3: Phone Sex

Summary: You and Dean try something in order to write about it.

Read Part 1 Part 2

Warning: Smut, dirty talk

Word Count: 3000ish

A/N: This is all written with love for fan fic. I’m teasing, not putting it down in any way. Hope you enjoy! XOXO


“How many are we up to now?”

The phone rests warm between your ear and shoulder as you glance down at the screen. “Almost four hundred followers,” you tell him. “Not exactly famous yet.”

Dean pauses, and you picture him sprawled out on a motel bed very much like yours, just two states over, glass in hand and flannel shirt crumpled at the foot of the bed, undershirt clinging tight to his chest.

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Anytime

Hello you lovely people! Here’s another one for you guys, based on this request:  OMG you should totally do a shot where Harry has some trouble getting it up….

Hope you guys enjoy it! Let me know what you think, love B xx

***

Originally posted by yves-saintharry

He’s tired. He is so tired.

There’s not enough sleep in this world that’ll help him get enough energy to get up and leave his house.

Harry’s been running himself ragged with all the studying and working he’s been putting in for this new role he’s got lined up.

Night after night, you find him with his face buried in books and scripts that look ratty and old from how much he’d fussed with it and scanned page after page with tired, sleepless eyes so he can prepare himself as much as he can for when they start shooting.

Add that to all the catching up with friends and visiting family and the time he tries and spend with you, his best friend, and that’s enough to have him dragging himself around, barely any energy to get up and make himself something to eat.

You’ve watched him neglect the gym shoes that are left in a corner of his bedroom way too many times for it to be healthy and you’re starting to worry wether or not this acting career of his is really worth it if it’s going to wear him down like this.

Expressing these concerns every time you walk through his door after running an errand for him because he’s too tired to function had become a routine. His only response now is to tell you he’ll “sleep when he can”, but you don’t see that happening any time soon.

“When was the last time you got out of the house?” You ask him, after a quick trip to the nearest Waitrose down the road, resting a bag full of ingredients so you can make him a decent meal.

“Dunno.” He shrugs, heels of his hands rubbing tightly against his tired eyes to push away the blurriness in his vision. “Can’t remember.”

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3am
  • me: wow it's late and I'm super sleepy
  • ADHD:
  • me:
  • ADHD:
  • me: no? nothing? alright well I'll just
  • ADHD: you need to write a whole book right now
  • me:
  • ADHD: also see if that store has cool sweaters
  • me: listen
  • ADHD: also you need to reread harry potter immediately all of them
  • me:
  • ADHD: and do your eyebrows also maybe masturbate ? except you have a headache
  • me:
  • ADHD: let's talk about aliens tho
  • me:
  • ADHD: also you need to reconsider your entire future and everything you've had roughly plotted out since you were fourteen
  • me: simultaneously?
  • ADHD: well you'll forget all this within the next ten minutes so
  • me:
  • ADHD:
  • me:
  • ADHD: so yeah
  • me:
  • ADHD: chop chop motherfucker
The First Time In Forever

A/N despite the title, this has NOTHING to do with Frozen. Lol.

Spencer x Reader

“I’m sorry, but you’ve never had an orgasm?”

Your best friend Spencer Reid was staring at you with an incredulous look on his face, turning away from the Game of Thrones episode you were watching.

One and half bottles of wine and a GoT-athon, and the conversation had turned… wrong. Just plain wrong.

You can’t even remember what exactly had happened on the screen to make you comment that you’d never had an orgasm, but as soon as the words left your mouth, you regretted them.

You were open with your best friend, but not that open. Although… rather than blushing like you’d have expected him to, he just seemed shocked and appalled.

“Nope,” you replied, seeing his eyes bug out.

“Are you sure? Y/N, you’re 27.”

“I’m well aware of how old I am, Spencer. And yes. I’m sure. At least… I think I am.”

He quickly topped his wine glass up, this revelation was obviously making him turn to drink. Well, more to the booze that he already had.

“You think? Explain…. Because you’ve come to into work before raving about guys you’ve banged.”

“So you DO listen to those conversations…” You were surprised, he normally just rolled his eyes and buried his head in a file.

“I listen because you and Penelope talk very loudly, although sometimes it’s at a pitch that I’m sure only dogs can hear…. Ouch! Don’t hit me! Anyway… Stop going off track.” He rubbed his arm where you’d hit it.

“Why are you obsessed with this bit on information anyway? Does it matter that I’ve never had an earth shattering moment. I still enjoy fucking.”

“But what’s the point if there’s no orgasms? And what do you do when you can’t sleep at night?”

“Spencer Reid!! Well, next time your eyes are darker than normal, I’ll know what you’ve been doing all night. And there’s plenty of point.. Sex is fun. And it still feels good. Its just….I dunno. No man has ever managed to make me tremble. At least, that’s what I’m led to believe happens.”

“And… Erm.. You’ve never managed to make it happen either yourself?” The tiniest amount of pink appeared on his cheeks.

“I’m getting you drunk more often, Spence. The team would never EVER imagine you having this conversation. And no. I’ve tried.”

“You must be doing it wrong. I’ll send you some links later on how to masturbate properly.”

You shifted on the couch, your jaw dropping. “You will not! And anyway…. You don’t even have a vagina. What makes you so sure that I’m doing it wrong?”

“Because if you were doing it right, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“And you think you know how to do it right?” You knocked back the last of your drink.

“Yep… Never had any complaints when I’ve been getting a girl off. And I used to talk Austin through doing it all the time when we couldn’t see each other.”

You spluttered your drink out, wiping your mouth with your hand.

“Austin… That bartender you used to see? You’re saying you used to have phone sex with her?”

“Yes.”

“I am learning so many new things here tonight Spencer.” You shook your head at your friend and colleague, feeling buzzed.

“If you let me send you the links, you’ll learn something else too.”

“Spencer!!”

“What.. Orgasms are one of the best things about life. Everyone deserves to have them, especially you. It’s a travesty that you’re not sure if you’ve had one or not. You’re missing out.”

You couldn’t not laugh at this conversation. You knew Spencer wasn’t as sweet and innocent as everyone made him out to be, he couldn’t be, he was a grown man. A very attractive grown man. But still….

“Spencer, this sounds like the plot of a really really bad porno. Any second now and you’ll be offering to give me one,” you sniggered.

“I will if you want. I could either talk you through getting yourself off, or just do it for you.”

“Reid, I was joking.”

“I’m not. Offer stands. Like I say, everyone deserves orgasms.”

You became very quiet all of a sudden and you realised you were actually considering his offer. You did sometimes feel like you missing out, and maybe you were doing something wrong… You still enjoyed sex and stuff but it would be nice if you got to finish too. You’d just never had that knee trembling, deity worshiping moment.

You completely blamed the wine for this.

..

Half an hour later, after the rest of the wine, much deliberation on your part, and much assurance on Spencer’s part that no this didn’t mean anything, no this wasn’t his way of trying to get you into bed although it would be easier to do this in the bed, and no he wouldn’t have to see anything, and you were lying in bed.

You were under the covers with your pants off but your underwear on and Spencer was lying on top of the covers, propped up in his side. The lights were out and the only light came from a thin sliver of moonlight where your drapes weren’t quite meeting.

“I’d prefer it if you didn’t look at me whilst we do this,” you whispered.

“Fair enough.” Spencer rolled onto his back, looking up at ceiling.

“Sooo….”

“Alright so erm…. Try thinking about something that does turn you on. Maybe a sexy scene from a movie or something,” Spencer’s voice had dropped and had become a soft, low cadence that was soothing but instructive.

You closed your eyes and tried to picture your favourite sexy scene.

This just felt wrong.

“Start running your hands over your body first, slowly feeling your skin. Pay attention to your breasts, maybe pinch a nipple or something.”

You did as he asked, feeling extremely self conscious about what you were doing. You let your hands move up and down your body a few times, squeezing your breasts and teasing a nipple through your vest. You’d removed your bra when you’d got in but had refused to get naked. You so couldn’t do this….it felt.. Silly.

“Reid, I can’t do this.”

“You can if you want to,” he told you.

“It feels silly doing it to myself with you here. Like I’m listening to an instructional video or something.”

He rolled to his side again. “You could just let me do this for you this once. And then when you know what you’re missing out on, maybe you’ll feel more inclined to figure it out for yourself.”

“But…. It’s weird…”

“Only if we make it weird. It’s up to you Y/N.”

“Erm….Oh God. Okay… Do it,” you felt yourself blushing horrendously as Spencer pulled the covers back and slid under, lying closer to you and rolling onto his side so that he was facing you. He tugged the cover down slightly to your waist and then placed his hand on your tummy.

Lazily he began drawing patterns with his finger tips, them skimming over the fabric of your vest top.

“Relax, Y/N. Relax,” He said in that same low voice and you let out a breath, keeping your eyes closed.

Spencer’s hand stayed in the safety zone for a while, gently stroking your stomach, your arms, your shoulders. It was relaxing, and you felt yourself beginning to feel more at ease with this. It was just Reid. He wasn’t bothered by this, why should you be?

He let his hands move lower under the covers, tickling the tops of your thighs lightly, grazing over the soft material of your underwear as he moved his hand back up, sliding it over your stomach and onto your breast.

“Many men actually neglect the breasts, they assume that woman don’t actually find having their breasts fondled all that sexy. In actual fact, the majority of woman have said that they wish their partner would spend more time on them, some woman even claim to have climaxed solely from having their nipples stimulated.”

As he said that last part he spread his fingers and then closed them slowly, catching your nipple between them. Moving his hand gently back and forth, he rubbed against the sensitive flesh. Your breathing hitched as he used his fingers to swipe over the now hardened nub, teasing it gently.

“Am I allowed to…..?” he moved his hand to the strap of your vest and you nodded, still keeping your eyes shut as he pulled down your top, exposing your breasts to him. You thought you detected a change in his own breathing but you couldn’t be sure. Feeling him moving on the bed, he heard his voice again.

“Can I….can I use my mouth?”

Oh fuck….

“Not down there you can’t!” you blurted out, a chuckle escaping his lips.

“Okay. But I can use it here?” he rolled a nipple between his thumb and forefinger, the sensation causing you to bite your lip. You nodded.

Spencer lowered his mouth to the breast closest to him and moved his hand over to the other one. He began peppering light kisses over the swell of your chest as his fingers circled and teased the puckered flesh of your other breast. You weren’t going to lie, the sensation was wonderful and you started to forget the awkwardness of the situation and to actually enjoy it. His lips slipped over your nipple, pursing around it and sucking it into his mouth, his tongue flicking against it as he pulled it’s twin at the same time. You moaned, not beings able to stop the sound.

You could feel his lips change shape, he was smiling at the sound. Carrying on he repeated his actions, grazing his teeth over the skin and sending jolts of pleasure down into your groin. Giving one long hard suck, he released it from his mouth and dragged his hand down your torso and over your panties.

“I need you to spread your legs slightly. You’re clenching them shut,” Spencer whispered and you realised you were. You moved them, allowing him access.

He placed his palm flat on your groin and began rubbing his hand back and forth, applying a small amount of pressure, but not particularly paying attention to any one area.

“Another mistake guys make is going straight for either the clitoris or the vagina, forgetting the whole area is sensitive, even more so once someone is aroused. The clitoris is the most sensitive part though, it has over eight thousand sensory nerve endings all in a tiny area. Some woman can come in a matter of seconds from having their clit stimulated, others take longer, even up to hour. So you have to be patient. But most people aren’t that patient, which is where you could be missing out.”

He ran his hand up and down your covered centre and you winced slightly, realising that your panties must be feeling damp.

“Can I take these off? We can leave them on if you’re uncomfortable…. ”

You raised your hips in response, helping him quickly pull them off and then settle his hand back between your thighs. He’d already seen your breasts, to hell with it.

“Are you sure I can’t use my mouth down there?” he asked again, his long fingers dragging up and down.

“I’m sure… Cos it’s not like I’ll be able to do that to myself right?”

“True…..”

You allowed your legs to move slightly further apart as his hand explored.

“So if you’re doing this yourself, you need to remember to that keeping lubricated is important. Chaffing can be a problem, for guys and girls. Don’t start stimulating your clit when it’s dry, in my experience, the sensation is better when it’s wet. You can use lube, or you can lick your fingers first. Or you can use your own arousal, like this.”

To demonstrate, he pushed the tips of two of his fingers into your opening and you gasped. Retracting them he slid them forward, using the slick from his fingers as lube.

“You’re so wet, Y/N.”

“Spencer! Don’t say shit like that to me….. ”

But oh god, how delicious it had sounded coming from his mouth.

“Why… It’s the truth. It’s good, it means what we’re doing is working.”

“What you’re doing you…..oh…. Ah…”

Your words trailed off as he pressed his fingers to your clit and began massaging it, moving his fingers in a circular motion at first, he’d then switched to a more pressured side to side movement, changing between the two.

“There’s so many nerves ending here, Y/N. You can’t really go wrong with how you stimulate them. Some people use their whole hand to massage it like I’m doing now. Others just use one or two fingers like this.”

He changed his positioning, applying just two fingers directly to your clit and rubbing faster. The pressure was more localised than with his whole hand and felt more intense. He carried on for a few minutes, heavy breaths exhaling from your body. You bent one of your legs at the knee and placed your foot flat to the bed, your legs suddenly feeling restless.

“Other woman like having their clit tapped or smacked.” He demonstrated again, making a tapping motion on you. It felt okay, but not fantastic and you shook your head.

“Not a fan? Some girls aren’t. Okay and then we have that magic elusive spot that some people can never seem to find. The g spot.”

He slid his fingers through your folds, your lips separating as he slid two fingers inside you, your hips bucking off the bed as he did.

“Most women need clitoral stimulation to come, which is why most don’t orgasm during penetration itself unless they or their partner is playing with the clit too. That’s a mistake that men make, not working the clit as well or even being offended when the woman starts to touch it herself. They’re missing out though. There’s nothing better than being inside a woman whilst she orgasms, trust me.”

He started moving his fingers slowly inside, curling them.

“The most sensitive part of your vagina is the first two thirds, or there is a spot right at the top called the A spot, but that’d hard to reach by yourself. Your g spot is located about two to three centimetres along the front wall and feels pebbly and rough. You can’t feel it unless you’re aroused. So you should be able to feel this… ”

Spencer pressed his fingers to it and you felt the familiar sensation that you felt during sex. Rather than thrusting his hand in and out, he simply manoeuvred his fingers against it making you start to pant.

“Y/N, use your hand on yourself.”

You followed his instructions and slid your hand between your legs, using two fingers rather than the whole hand. You tried to mirror his actions from before, feeling light headed as he worked his fingers inside you.

“You can use your other hand to pull back the clitoral hood if you like, but some woman find it too sensitive.”

“This… This is fine… Ugh… Oh.”

This WAS fine… More than fine in fact. It was….Oh god there were no words to describe it.

“Apply a bit more pressure, Y/N. ”

“Help me…” you gasped out as he slid his hands from inside you and placed his fingers over yours.

Interlocking his hand with yours he pressed down, guiding you in your movements.

“Your skin is flushed and I can hear your heart racing.” He lowered his head back to your chest and sucked your nipple back into his mouth as your hands moved together between your legs.

Your leg started to twitch and you tried to slow your movements, feeling slightly funny.

“Nope… Carry on. Let go, Y/N. You’re nearly there. ”

Spencer continued working his fingers against yours, his lips sucking against your chest.

Your gasps grew louder and your legs trembled, your hips involuntarily bucking from the mattress. You could feel a pounding in your head, hear the blood rushing through your veins. Every nerve ending in your body seemed to be on fire and you felt like you’d never felt before.

“Oh god…. Oh fuck… Oh fuck, Spencer.” Was this coming? Oh jeez, it had to be….. You could feel yourself contracting inside, your whole body quivering. You were dizzy but in the best possible way, and you continued to expel expletives from your mouth as the feeling racked through you, subsiding after around twenty seconds or so, although it felt like longer.

Spencer removed his mouth from your chest and his hand from yours, and you felt him wipe it on the sheets. You did the same with yours, and then slowly opened your eyes to see Spencer looking very pleased with himself.

You couldn’t speak, not yet. You just lay there, trying to regulate your breathing for a few minutes. When you finally could think straight, you realised your boobs were still on display and you hurriedly pulled your top back up.

“Shame…. I was enjoying looking at those,“ came the comment from your companion.

You glanced over at him, a smirk on his face.

“So?” he asked.

“I both love you and hate you for that.”

“Why both?”

“Because you were right. That was the best feeling ever. And I definitely hadn’t had one. But if I can’t replicate that myself when I’m alone…..”

“You will. Now you know what you’re doing.” he told you.

“But if I can’t?” You felt shy again.

“Then…..I can always help you. Or do it for you. I don’t mind. And it’s not like I’m not getting anything out of it. Giving an attractive girl orgasms makes me feel good too.”

“You think I’m attractive?”

“Don’t play dumb, Y/N. I’m not blind.”

Oh.

Hmmm.

“What about….what about actually making you feel good. Like… Well. Finishing you off too.”

“Well,I’m not gonna lie, that was extremely frustrating for me. But I enjoyed it. And I’ll just cold shower when I get home or something.”

Or something. You giggled, knowing what the ‘or something’ might be.

You shifted your position on the bed, moving closer to him and placing your hand on his groin, seeing the surprised look on his face.

“Hey, no. I didn’t do this to get something in return.”

“I know you didn’t. But I want to. I may not have been able to get myself off, but experience tells me that I’m quite good at getting other people off. And we’ve already crossed the friendship line of no return. Why not cross it even further. If you want to….”

Feeling a twitch underneath your hand, you waited until he nodded and moved to the buttons of his jeans.

“Spence… ” you stopped. “Thanks, by the way.”

“You’re welcome.”

Grinning, you started unbuttoning his jeans, feeling happier now you knew you could pay him back.

I Dare You (M)

word count: 4.5k

genre: smut; college AU + part time model!hyungwon

pairing: reader/hyungwon

masterlist

summary: it was a simple party and everything was going fine until minhyuk decided it’s time to spice it up. his idea? it ends up making you and your ex-crush hyungwon get a lot closer than you could’ve ever imagined. 

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I’m in tears