how to love

How To Love Your Introvert

1. We introverts are not always the best at breaking the ice, so in order to get the ball rolling, we often have to resort to tactics that may seem obscure to your average extrovert. This may include subtle clearing of the throat, gentle hand gesturing, and numbers placed carefully into routine conversations where they normally do not belong.

2. You may be asking yourself “How can I be sure that I’m speaking to an actual introvert and not someone simply masquerading as one”, well, here are a few tell-tale signs. If the person wraps their arms around your shoulder as they’re introducing themselves to you for the first time: Probably not an introvert. If the person uses the words “unwind” and “nightclub” in the same sentence: Probably not an introvert. If the person attempts to engage in any conversation whatsoever about the weather and they are not from Minnesota: Probably not an introvert.

3. To set the record straight, I do not hate people. But I do get pretty damn tired of them sometimes. Just pretend for a second that my desire to socialise could be equated to my desire to exercise. This means that a quick jog around the block would be a lot like catching a cup of coffee with a friend, bar-hopping with buddies would be like finishing a 6-minute mile, and my senior prom was like running the iron-man in the middle of August. Now you see, I don’t hate talking to people any more than they hate a little bit of exercise but you wouldn’t challenge an Olympian to a marathon after he just finished a race. Understand that when I tell you I can’t hangout tonight, I just came back from a poetry jam, maybe it’s not because I hate you, maybe it’s because I’m tired.

4. There will be many times when you will be uncomfortable in my silence, unsure of how I am feeling. Understand that just because I do not wear my heart on my sleeve for everyone to see does not mean that it beats any softer than yours. Do not confuse the stillness of the lips with the rythme of apathy. Do not confuse the sound of words rattling off, 80 beats per minute, with the sound of an actual conversation. Just because I cannot commit the act of small talk does not mean I don’t have huge things to say. Just because I find myself at peace within myself does not mean I could ever stop wanting to love so hard, because

5. We introverts are not always the best at breaking the ice, so we often have to resort to tactics that may seem obscure to your average extrovert this may include subtle clearing of the throat, gentle hand gesturing, and writing an entire poem just to say

6. I love you more than quiet trips to the library. I love you more than cancelling Friday night plans. Baby, Baby, I love you more than Tumblr. But when the world is shouting way too loudly for us to hear our own voices, and these words cling far too tighly to my own chest. I just want you to know that I love you, I love you, I love you.

—  Kevin Yang

you can only love an artist
when you love their art
every word they write
every painting they hang
every sculpture they mould into being
is a part of them
a limb that they leave in the studio
a hand they forget pressed between
the pages of their notebook


you can only love an artist
when you love
what makes the body of them

—  pardis alia
#SelfLoveSunday

Your Relationship Fights Will Never Be The Same After Reading This

 If someone treats you poorly - understand why it was necessary for your journey. The insecurities you hold about yourself will be reflected in the relationships you have with others and will continue to hold dominance in your life until you address that which needs healing on the inside.

If you don’t like the thought of your partner going out without you - this is an insecurity you hold about yourself that you are projecting onto them. Address your own ways of thinking - why would it affect you so much if they were to “cheat” on you? Is it the fear of having your pride hurt?

Or are you afraid of being alone? Is this why you settle for relationships with people you know you don’t resonate with? This is because the relationship you have with yourself needs healing - this cannot be done without taking time away from others and spending it with yourself.

Insecurities can dominate our lives in many ways - in relationships they are reflected back to us in the form of our partners because we attract what we are. When you are insecure about yourself you will attract someone of a similar nature and it is then up to you to understand why you are experiencing conflict with them.

It’s easy to point the finger and say “they cheated” or “they’re a narcissist” - but it is much harder to look within and understand what it is about ourselves that attracted them in the first place. Many of you won’t be able to do this and that’s ok - but those who can will be able to attract far more fulfilling relationships in the future.

The next time you find yourself experiencing relationship problems ask yourself - am I acting from a place of insecurity? Understand what the difficulty reflects about who you are, your behaviours and your ways of thinking. This is the only way to stop your insecurities standing in the way of you having a satisfying relationship.

Love yourself enough to acknowledge your insecurities and heal them.

Peace & positive vibes.

Got a specific problem you need help with? Add me on Skype for a free consultation - spoonofconsciousness@gmail.com :)

It was only by finding a man who treats me with respect and care that I am now realizing just how badly I was treated before. My expectations weren’t unrealistic and I wasn’t too demanding like he said I was. I was just accepting ‘love’ from a boy who wasn’t ready for a woman like me.
—  He wasn’t a bad person, he was just bad at love - Jess Amelia
Harry Styles - “How to Love” - Chapter Five

Originally posted by inkedcross

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@lovingstyles87

Harry leaned his head back, the nape of his neck resting on the back of the chair he was sat in, letting the sun beat down on his face. He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath and letting it out in a heavy sigh. He was currently hiding out on his back deck. His phone was inside, his front door locked. If anyone called or came to his house they would think he was just busy or out. And people have been trying to do both.

He had turned his phone off mid-morning after everyone from the party the night before woke up and started spreading the gossip of the fight around. He started getting texts, some accusing him of hurting Niall because ‘how dare he get with Niall’s best friend’, others congratulating him on 'winning’ Lana, someone who many thought to be unattainable. Some took his side, saying she was a bitch and deserved every bit of his hate. He was sick of it all.

He had heard Liam calling from the front door around noon when he was in his kitchen and that’s when he decided to escape outside to the calm and peace and quiet. He had been watching the sun flicker off the water of his pool for a while before sliding on his sunglasses and relaxing in a chair, ready to pretend last night never even happened.

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Practicing loving kindness meditation is like digging deep into the ground until we reach the purest water. We look deeply into ourselves until insight arises and our love flows to the surface. Joy and happiness radiate from our eyes, and everyone around us benefits from our smile and our presence. If we take good care of ourselves, we help everyone. We stop being a source of suffering to the world, and we become a reservoir of joy and freshness. Here and there are people who know how to take good care of themselves, who live joyfully and happily. They are our strongest support. Whatever they do, they do for everyone.
—  Thich Nhat Hanh, in “How to Love”
Often, we get crushes on others not because we truly love and understand them, but to distract ourselves from our suffering. When we learn to love and understand ourselves and have true compassion for ourselves, then we can truly love and understand another person
—  from How to Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
Harry Styles - “How to Love” - Chapter Seven

Originally posted by oopstyles

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Niall sat on the middle of his living room floor, his legs crossed as he said nothing. He was sucking on his lower lip, trying to contain his anger as he looked at the mess before him. He didn’t get angry like this and he hated himself for doing such but the anger had consumed him and he couldn’t control it.

“I’m sorry,” Lana whispered, sat beside him in the exact same position. She had been silent since she had screamed at Harry to leave a few minutes before. Niall had come out at the first sign of yelling but the fight was too far in progress and there was no stopping it. All three of them ended up saying harsh things to one another and it was actually Niall who knocked everything off of the coffee table before kicking the piece of furniture over. One of the wooden legs had cracked off, splintering as it broke off. The glass top had also shattered, the shards sparkling on his carpet innocently. “I’ll clean it up, I promise.” She had tears streaming down her face and she couldn’t meet Niall’s eye.

“I jus’ don’t get why you two have to do this.” Niall finally speaks for the first time since Harry had left. “If the two of you have such a hate for each other than why did you ever date?” Niall looks over at Lana, watching her, but she still won’t look up to meet his eye. She brings a hand up to wipe at her wet cheeks and shrugs, focusing on the glass pieces across the floor.

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