Living With BPD
So let me tell you about this. Let me tell you how BPD ruined my life.
BPD: Borderline Personality Disorder
Things that people with BPD do without knowing it:
-push everyone they love away
-say things hurtful or angry when they feel alone
-stop taking care of themselves, their health, appearance
-tell themselves hurtful things every day “you’re so worthless”
-rationalize impulsive behavior with emotion
-read too far into things, worry, have constant anxiety
-never feel normal, always feel different
Let me tell you how when I get angry I say things to hurt you on purpose. How I compulsively lie to get attention or a reaction. How I replay the exact words of someone to feel sadness, because anything is better then feeling numb. How I run away from everything, just get in my car and go. How I make passive aggressive comments and hurt people without even trying or knowing I’m doing it. How I say “bye” when I’m hurt and “i’m sorry” at least 50 times a day.
This is BPD. It is isolation. Fear of rejection. Alarming feelings that feel like drowning. Ruining all your relationships.
This is stage 1 of diagnosis, I feel so lost, like there is no hope.
Any words of encouragement is appreciated. Much love.