how to disable a woman

Able Bodied Feminism Is...

Thinking “nobody should be forced to carry a disabled child to term” is a good argument for abortion rights.

Not realizing that widespread forced sterilization of disabled women is still happening.

Upping Margaret Sanger despite her being a racist and a supporter of Eugenics.

Thinking that the only influence that Frida Kahlos disabilities had on her art was putting her in a lot of pain.

Not considering disability to be as important axis of oppression as race or gender.

Making fun of “frivolous white girls” when they are asking for a lot of disability accommodations for work or school.

Talking about how brave of a woman Anne Sullivan was while ignoring her disability and Helen Kellers own achievements.

 Seeing transgender as being chiefly a medical issue and being shitty to trans women as a result in order to “protect mentally well cis girls spaces”.

Insisting that women don’t deserve to be babied because “we aren’t handicapped, we can do things on our own”.

Glossing over how race and disability intersect, because ableism isn’t seen as being important.

Glorifying the achievements of women who subject their disabled children to cures and treatments that the child doesn’t actually want.

Not making discussions of consent accessible to disabled young girls and boys.

Putting zero effort into bringing sex education to more special ed classrooms in the US and beyond.

Insulting old feminists by taunting them with images of canes, walkers, and being crotchety witches.

Disrespecting housewife jobs when it is often the only work disabled women can do consistently. Same with sex work.

Not including disabled women in body positive activities.

Medicalizing bi and asexuality.

Making fun of MRAs by calling them autistic,insane, or suggesting they have small penises.

if it’s true that Billie gets her powers not through being marked, but through the knife...

…that’s pretty appropriate actually?

One thing that’s always struck me about the Outsider is his fickleness. He canonically, textually, decides who to gift with literal magic powers only on how interesting he finds them personally, as opposed to, say, how good he thinks they are (and you’d think after a few thousand years he’d have a good nose for those things). He even cynically expects that his marked will abuse their powers, and continues marking people anyway.

There is a pattern of “giving power to the powerless” is who he chooses (which tbh Emily kind of breaks :/) but it’s obviously not the only criterion or else there would be a whole lot more marked running around.

IMO there is an easy argument to be made that he is, on balance, a sower of suffering in the world. He was made to suffer and now he is pretty blasé about the suffering of still-living humans. I mean, his marked include people like Daud and Delilah who internalize kill or be killed, only out for number one, and feel self-justified about all their abhorrent actions. Upon reflection, marked ones like low-chaos Corvo are… pretty damn rare.

And that’s to say nothing of how runes and bone charms tend to drive the random civilians who stumble upon them insane (which, may not be the Outsider’s active doing, but speaks to his nature as something with a, uh, problematic relationship with human suffering).

So then you have Billie. Who, in her youth, desired the Outsider’s mark. Who has deep, deep regrets about that time in her life but also… some sympathy for the hurt person she used to be, and complicated feelings about what her place in the Whalers gave her.

Trying to discuss who is “worthy” of the Outsider’s mark is a giant can of worms. But Billie… not youthful assassin Billie, but Billie who keenly judged Emily’s shortcomings during the course of DH2, Billie who, if Emily proved compassionate, came clean about her role in Jessamine’s assassination, Billie who saved Martha Cottings and cared deeply about an old washed-up natural philosopher and sheltered Alexandria Hypatia (another dual victim-killer) on her boat… Billie is a PRETTY DAMN GOOD CANDIDATE for “worthy.”

But the Outsider is fickle. For reasons only he understands, Billie’s not ~*~interesting~*~ to him.

So Billie finds her power in the implement that MADE the Outsider, takes her power literally into her own hands, against the God who inexplicably spurned her, against the former-human who has completely lost touch with what it means to be human.

I just realized something about Kingsman, and it’s probably part of why I liked the movie so much. At no point in the movie was Roxy told she couldn’t do something because she was a girl. The only thing that even comes close is when Arthur said “at least the girls got balls” during the final test. She was never looked down upon or viewed as an underdog because of her gender. She was always treated equally.

Not only that but the villain’s main agent was a very deadly DISABLED woman. Who has figured out how to use her disability to her advantage

Something that I really don’t think helps the issue of dying from preventable things (especially as a disabled woman) is how when doctors don’t take you seriously whatever you say, you kind of expect that nothing will ever be that serious (or even if it is, no one will think so), and so there’s no point reporting it, is there?

like, okay, if I have stabbing chest pains and trouble breathing and I’m super lightheaded and need to lie down - well, the doctor is just gonna tell me I’m fine and to fuck off, so why should I bother going in?

or if I feel like my chest is lumpy and it’s painful - well, why bother telling anyone; doctors ignore much more severe pain all the time and breast tissue is lumpy anyway, so it’s probably nothing.

once you know that doctors will ignore anything you say about your body and tell you you’re fine, you continue to believe that - and that’s really not helpful if we want people to not die from preventable diseases.

Milah was “trapped” by Spinner Rumplestiltskin

I am in awe that there are still people who post the statement “Milah was trapped by Rumplestitlskin” in regard to when he was human and decided against going to the next town over.

Yes, she wanted to leave but let us look at the facts.

Fact 1: Their source of income was his thread spinning.  This is established fact.  Every village had at least one thread spinner.  This isn’t headcanon, it’s historic fact.  I know this isn’t an historic setting but they are wearing clothes and the show has established where thread and yarn come from.  So every village had to have had at least one spinner.  There is no denying that wherever they’d go there would be competition.

Fact 2:  And this is a big one.  They have no horse.  In the middle ages (as I am making the comparison for established canon reasons) no one would just lend away a horse, especially to a family obviously intent on fleeing town.  And they clearly can’t afford a horse, they can’t even afford a proper front door (It’s a flap of fabric0>  When Rumplestiltskin tried to flee with Baelfire in the night during Desperate Souls they were on foot despite Rumplestiltskin’s hobbled walk.  If Milah, little Baelfire, and Rumplestiltskin fled their home they would have to take Rumplestiltskin’s spinning wheel with them or beg to survive.   How exactly would they carry his spinning wheel?  Rumplestiltskin had enough trouble staying up right.  Milah isn’t likely to carry it (and those things are heavy).  And Baelfire is out of the question, he was only maybe six-years-old.

Fact 3:  Assuming they left the spinning wheel behind how would they earn an income in the next village?  Beggars and vagabonds are rarely welcome in already poor peasant villages.

Fact 4: Milah constantly mocked and belittled him for running away and called him a coward and yet she was recommending running away.  He chose to stay even though the situation was bad, in the hope that it would get better. That takes courage.   It’s quite an hypocrisy that she wanted to run away but constant berated him for running away.

I’m not justifying what happened in The Underworld. That was pretty damn horrible, but Rumplestiltskin (when human) did NOT abuse Milah.  She verbally abused him and neglected their child.   Yes, men can look after children too, but she was just at the bar drinking and mocking her disabled husband, who had been out earning money.  Think how you’d feel about a disabled woman coming home to a child by a burning Fireplace and the husband is in a bar with strange women mocking her.

If it’s not okay for a husband to treat his wife like that, it’s not okay for a wife to treat a husband like that.   Gender does not automatically equate to fault.  That, children, is sexism and goes against true feminism which originally entailed looking at both genders as equal and being able to assess any situation the same way despite the genders of the participants.  If you change how you view something strictly based on the genders, that is sexism. 

Also look…

The “Big bad abuser” is trying to offer the hung over Mother-of-the-year some tea and make peace with her as if her getting drunk and mocking him was his fault.

Now think how most of you would react to a wife trying to serve the hung over husband in bed who had spent the night mocking her and neglecting their child.


As always should really be sleeping but it bothers me to no end that the MCU chickens out of addressing real life issues the way comic books do and have for so many years. 

Disabilities, mental health issues, addiction, family struggles — the material is literally all there. But oh no, let’s just swerve around all that so we can blow more shit up. 

I get it. Audiences like to see shit blow up. I like to see superheroes being all badass. But how much more powerful would superhero flicks be if they were actually willing to address not-so-subtle issues the characters are facing head-on? Everybody was (understandably) so fuckin stoked that Wonder Woman finally had a female hero we could get behind; people love that their heroes aren’t perfect. 

So let’s stop pretending that superheroes don’t deal with the same shit the rest of us do. There is literally so much opportunity in the MCU alone:

  • Tony Stark’s textbook PTSD — I have a whole separate rant about how ridiculous and horrible it is that Pepper and Rhodey don’t reach out to him sufficiently in this regard, but dear god he is so traumatized please let us watch therapy help him
  • Clint Barton’s deafness — I realize it’s not MCU canon but y’all it would not be that hard to work in. We’ve seen how much it matters to kids to see heroes who look like them (Falcon, Wonder Woman), so how about we represent heroes with disabilities?
  • Addiction is a touchy one, but in the comics Tony struggles with alcoholism, in the movies with his suits as a crutch; use that or something else entirely
  • Peter and Aunt May’s relationship would be a fantastic spot to address family issues because they’re all the other person has but everybody drives each other batshit crazy sometimes
  • I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that in the semi-background, Thor has had one of the most complete character arcs in the whole MCU, but also like his family is so messed up
  • God knows Steve has some stuff to work through still — this guy went through the ringer in WWII and then woke up in the fucking 21st century and has been declared a traitor twice. Let’s really see him grapple with that
  • I wanna see Natasha be vulnerable; let strong women cry goddammit
  • Bucky’s personal hell is so layered at this point that I don’t know if it ever could or will be fully addressed but dear lord please let him heal and let him do it on his own terms
  • More disabilities: Rhodey after the fall in AoU; Bucky’s missing an arm for goodness sake; Bruce is the physical personification of crippling mental illness except, you know, we can see his

Please feel free to add more, but this is important and I couldn’t sleep til I wrote it down

The absolute worst shit in the world is being screamed at by a customer for something you have no control over. If you’re a barely-scraping-by retail worker like myself, you get that feeling. You can’t even really say “I’m sorry, I’m just a cashier/front manager/regular person, there’s nothing I can do.” because that’s just not good enough of an excuse for some people.

I live in a city that has implemented a city-wide ban on plastic and paper grocery bags. According to information provided by city hall (and yes, I checked it myself so that I knew what was what), the ban was passed in an effort to cut plastic waste, and because paper bags are costly to make and rarely ever make it into recycling anyways, they included those too. Stores that don’t abide by the ban have to pay an extra fee to the city to fund safe disposal and environmental conservation efforts.
The grocery store I currently work at now has two options: we sell recyclable plastic bags for 25 cents apiece, or we have a vast number of cloth bags made from recycled material ranging from 50 cents to $2 depending on the size and design. And yeah, your cloth bag with Olaf from Frozen is gonna cost more than one of our plain bags, things with popular characters or designs always cost more, even when they’re smaller or made with weaker materials. That’s what you pay to get your kid a bag with a snowman on it. That’s your choice.

AND YET. It’s been almost a year since the bag ban was put into place, and EVERY DAY I have to talk down a customer who gets angry because we don’t have plastic or paper anymore. I am a smol young lady with crazy bad social anxiety just trying to work day to day to pay bills, and yet EVERY DAY I have to step away from my register for a couple of minutes to calm myself because people think it’s okay to act shitty to the person scanning their hummus and pita chips.

“But you used to have them!” YES, we USED TO. And now we DON’T. And we haven’t for a while.

“You’re lying! You must have some in the back.” Yes, let me just visit our magical back room portal and pull some plastic bags out JUST FOR YOU. I don’t know who told people that stores just keep everything they sell in surplus in the back , but I promise you, our warehouse is not overflowing with product that we’re keeping from the general public. That’s not how it works. And we sure as shit aren’t hiding plastic bags from you because WE DON’T HAVE ANY. THEY ARE BANNED. WE GOT RID OF THEM.

“You’re a liar, this is just your company being greedy!” Yeah? Go tell the people in charge of running this entire chain of grocery stores. You’re not getting anywhere telling me. All I’m gonna do about it is smile and nod and pretend like I’m interested in your woes over having to pay 50 cents to buy the bags to carry your Raisin Bran and organic whole milk. You think I have any sort of clout with this company? Like you yelling at me is going to magically lift this bag ban? I can’t even get a recycling bin under my check stand for trashed receipts and coupons, they don’t give a shit about me OR you, so calm your ass down and pay for your sandwich meat so everyone else can get through the line.

It came up again just this past weekend, and honestly it was the worst of all the times it’s ever happened before. An older lady and her husband came through with a cart full of groceries. As I’m scanning them, she stopped me to ask for some plastic to hold her tiny potted plants she just bought so they don’t shatter. My immediate reaction was to tell her that a flimsy plastic bag wouldn’t protect her pottery from shit, but as we don’t have any plastic anyways, it wouldn’t have been an effective argument.
I told this lady in my best Customer Voice that “I’m so terribly sorry, but we do not carry paper or plastic bags any more.” So she started in on “what do you mean?” “That’s ridiculous!” “You had them before!” “Where are they?!”
I politely directed her to the sign I have taped to my register, which is coincidentally taped to EVERY register and has been for a year, which states that the city passed a law banning paper and plastic bags from retailers. It had a number on it that one could call to reach the city council and everything. This lady looked at the sign for a good ten seconds, looked up at me and sneered, “This is just a bunch of bullshit! Your company is tricking us! I want to see your manager!”
So I called my manager over, with this woman mumbling under her breath the entire time about how stupid this was and how I was cheating her. My manager came over and she listened to this woman redo her rant again, going on and on about how our company must be so corrupt to profit off of bags, cheating everyone out of their money.
My manager told this woman the exact same thing I told her; that the city passed a bag ban, that we are abiding by that ban and have stopped supplying palliative and paper bags, that we have recyclable bags for 25 cents. This woman wouldn’t stand for it, she kept interrupting my manager, trying to talk over her. Her voice kept getting louder and louder as she got angrier and angrier. She started waving her hands around, pointing her fingers at us, calling us both nasty names and getting WAY too close for a customer speaking across a counter to an employee. Then, quite suddenly, she reared back,

And she SPAT on my manager’s face.

This fucking woman reared her face back, hocked a wad of saliva and SPAT it in my manager’s face as she was speaking. I didn’t even know what to do, I was so dumbfounded. My manager just stood there in shock. This woman’s husband, who had been standing sheepishly by their cart the entire time, looked like he was about to explode in shame.
Finally, my manager flat-faced wiped her eyes and said, as calmly as I think she could have, “Ma'am, you need to leave this store right now.”

All hell broke loose after that. The general manager came over with a bunch of the lower-level managers to diffuse the situation but this woman was already in a tizzy. She started howling about unfair treatment, how they shouldn’t treat an elderly disabled woman this way, how she was going to call the police and tell them how she was being abused by our people. Not a single person laid a hand on her, they were just trying to move her away so that she wouldn’t lash out at me or the first manager again. I was allowed to step away to take a short break, because at this point I was about to start hyperventilating from how wound-up I was, and I have no idea what happened to that lady or her husband after that. I hope they at least got their groceries. Maybe placed inside some of our nice recyclable plastic bags.


I’m not sure I like my makeup, but I’m pretty proud that I got out to shadow, this afternoon!
I’d like to be able to do darker, more-gothy makeup, but I really don’t want to push my luck and get in trouble so anyone with tips on gothy looks in the medical field, hmu It’s fascinating how people react to other disabled people working in the health field. One woman accompanying a patient kept insisting that I sit while she stand, despite me repeating that I’m there to study and I would prefer to stand where I can see over the practitioner’s shoulder. This seems to be a recurring theme, too, like another woman who tried to drag me off for tea. Amazing how, even when you have authority over other’s care, people insist on telling you about your own​ care???? It rubs me wrong and I can’t explain it.

anonymous asked:

I'm the disabled woman who wrote you before about how I'd be better than Takahashi at Cuphead. (Pretty sure I'm smarter than a pigeon.) The discourse about disabled gamers is starting to really tick me off. Disabled people like challenges too. When my own body is kicking my ass, being able to achieve victory in a game feels great. ACHIEVE, not "YOU'RE WINNER!" RPGs are my main genre, and I hate when they're dumbed down -- I don't want that to happen to other genres too.

anonymous asked:

I know are not biggest Julian fan but everything that happens to him losing his sister and everything it hard to not feel for him

I’m not saying you can’t feel bad for him or that he’s evil but I don’t like how he is prioritized while Sara, a disabled woman who risked more and lost more, is reduced to her relationship to him.

  • Suho: What are you doing?
  • Chen: Nothing, just watching a movie.
  • Suho: And what's is it about?
  • Chen: It is about a man that his wife was brutally murdered by a serial murderer, and his son stays with physical disabilities. Then, in a twisted turn of events, his son is kidnapped, and the man has to pursue kidnappers thousands of kilometers with the help of a woman with mental disabilities
  • Suho: OMG how is it called?
  • Chen: Finding Nemo.

anonymous asked:

What "first story"? The CEO joined Trump's economic advisory group last year, and there have been calls to boycott Uber for its execs' misogyny since like 2014. After "Boob-er" and Sarah Lacy and cutting its drivers' pay to well below minimum wage and the statistically-proven racism and cozying up to fascists, what was the specific last straw for you just three days ago?

I was not aware of Uber’s relationship to Trump until 3 days ago, when it became a headline. Given that “deleteuber” didn’t start trending until 20 hours ago, I’m clearly not the only one who was only recently made aware of this.

Generally, I think ethical consumerism is not only an ineffective means of protest, but completely impossible under capitalism. I tend to focus my energy on educating myself on policy, donating to my friends and to causes like the ACLU and Planned Parenthood, and organizing around resistance and art within my community. However in this instance I think such a mass effort does send a political message, and I want to contribute.

I appreciate that you are fighting the good fight. I thank you for calling me in, keeping me honest, and challenging me to be interrogative and transparent. That being said, I already stated that I have deleted the app and will no longer share my code. I don’t think pestering a disabled woman about how she manages to leave her house is the most effective use of your time or activism, and I would encourage you to move on.

Abled/neurotypical people need to understand that it’s really not their job to tell disabled people how to identify.

Like, imagine a world where a young woman uses Ms.

But her father insists that she should use Miss instead.

He aggressively uses Miss to refer to her, and other people start doing so as well.

And whenever she tries to correct them, they pat her on the head and tell her that her gender stops her from being able to make that decision for herself, and that they know better.

It would take a particularly ignorant person to not find this sexist.

And yet, “allies” to the disabled community think that saying, “Um, no, sweetie, you’re handicapable!” isn’t ableist.

Stfu, sit down, and listen when people tell you how they prefer to identify.

glasurgeist  asked:

on the subject of teenage girls and fanart: deviantArt and livejournal were CESSPOOLS of the exact behavior you were talking about. I very distinctly remember there being huge groups that revolved around harassing kids that were just figuring out themselves and their art, plus the amount of shame put on authors who were obviously trying to figure out their sexuality with fanfic. It still makes me sad to think about, because I think it stunted my growth and the growth of my friends. 😔

ahh the dark days of livejournal snark communities. a toast to the memories

sometimes I feel like modern internet drama struggles to live up to the shit in those days, you know? And by drama I don’t mean like, abusers being called out I mean the times when people do absolutely absurd, hilarious shit. I remember a post about a guy who posed as a girl in a wheelchair on second life and internet dated a guy without telling them that he was actually an able-bodied dude. His real life girlfriend ended up crashing his second life wedding and exposing his lies to his internet boyfriend, so he had to come clean, but at the end of it all he still didn’t consider himself to have done anything wrong. I remember he wrote this flowery prose about how the only reason his alternate disabled woman self wasn’t real was because his internet boyfriend (who thought she was real) hadn’t wanted her to be real enough. I think that might have been the same guy who told his ex that the my little ponies he’d given her hated her now, because she broke up with him.

I think it’s very addictive to get caught up in watching stuff like that because it’s a fascinating trainwreck. But at the same time, I’ve seen a lot of innocent people subjected to scrutiny purely because they’re seen as a fascinating oddity or not living up to some sort of objective standard. Hell, those very communities I enjoyed and encouraged at the time very often chose targets just based on reasons that were pretty much “this girl is a stuck up bitch and I don’t like her for sexist reasons, but I’ve come up with ways to justify it so let’s attack her”. You’ve got to know where to draw the line between gawking bystander and exploitative stalker. I’ll readily admit that I no doubt crossed that line myself a few times in those days. I’d like to think I’m a bigger person nowadays.

How To Stay Safe As A Disabled, Mentally Ill Woman?

As many of you know, I’m slowly starting to experiment with dating. As a (developmentally) disabled, mentally ill woman I am part of a group that is extremely high risk when it comes to various kinds of violence, sexual assault and abuse. Trying to ignore and diminish that fact has already resulted in one traumatic experience, and I’m starting to realize that I do need to take precautions to stay as safe as possible. I’m therefor hoping to start a discussion about how to stay safe, what precautions to take when and what red flags to look out for. Everyone are encouraged to join the discussion.

“saying women are privileged for being straight is saying women are privileged for being abused”

“saying you hate straight people is saying you hate most women, since most women are straight, which makes you a misogynist”

“straight women are privileged over lesbians? um wow how can you believe that a poor, disabled, straight, black woman in a relationship with an abusive white man has privilege over a rich white lesbian???”

the amount of reaching here is incredible.  

Parallel is a new magazine that looks at life through a feminist lens. Free from objectification, commercialisation, self-loathing, and degradation, Parallel will liberating, and empowering. It will talk about activism and achievements. It will feature strong women who are really making a difference in this world. It will be intersectional in its content, discussing race, gender, sexuality, and disability. It will discuss community and activism and how you, as a woman, can make a change to the world around you. It will focus on everything from art to pop culture to history – all through the viewpoint of a modern young feminist.

But we need your help.

Back us on Kickstarter to receive your copy of the first issue in January plus an invite to the launch party. There are also other rewards to be bought - like our goodie bags, which will contain everything from stickers and temporary tattoos to art prints and postcards. You can even sign up for a year’s subscription.

The Kickstarter also lists other ways that you can get involved, such as submitting your own work or joining in with our online #unashamedlyfeminist campaign.

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