Their eyes are full of admiration, of attraction, of undying feelings for each other. Their eyes twinkle, their eyes are smiling. Even if they didn’t say a word about it, there’s this invisible thread connecting them two.
Matt looks precious in that new photo!!! He's lost more weight I think though??
[x] Super adorable! It looks like he’s wearing a sandwich board lol. He does look thinner than “normal” Matt, but I think he’s been thin for a while now as he films The Last Tycoon, since Monroe Stahr is supposed to be very thin. Still looks great, tho! :)
It was really fun to draw her Anti, he’s hella cool!
So yeah, of course she finished her part before me, you know, she’s hella fast and I’m just soooo slow lol.
Why is he just holding a single raindrop with his finger and looking at it just like “OML :D”? I dunno, welp.
I also couldn’t something good enough to “repay” the beautiful art she did for this trade, ‘cuz I’m still changing my art style and oh shit, hOW TO BACKGROUNDS???? Yeah, don’t mind me, just avoiding background as always *cries*.
I can’t believe I’m doing this, but I think it’s time! This is my story. It’s also my first official progress picture. Yeah, I got this far without taking intentional progress pictures. WUT? I’ve never shown myself in this kind of outfit, but I’m feeling good. Y’know!? I’m feeling good! I wanted to wear something that would really show my shape and how it changes. I’ll use this outfit for however long it fits!
Background: My weight problems were mostly a function of suppressing intrusive thoughts and panic. Both of my parents are alcoholics and my siblings and I were emotionally abused and physically intimidated often. Physical abuse occurred occasionally. I grew up without heat, hot water, a bed, or a winter coat. I ate for comfort and I ate to feel numb. Eating until I physically felt nauseated and needed to vomit was frequent.
The turning point: I left home. I was about to set the horizon into the college life, but the night before my orientation my parents refused to drop me off. So, I called my friend! We threw my stuff in the trunk and we went I ghosted. I started school. I loved the campus. I had a bed and my dorm room was warm. That was a good start I’d say!
During my first semester, I was diagnosed with both obstructive sleep apnea and prediabetes. I felt miserable 24/7. I was 312 lbs, at only 5’3”. It hurt to move and it was hard to breathe. I knew I needed to change my lifestyle, but I still struggled immensely with panic attacks and comfort eating despite my new environment. So, I started getting therapy. NEVER be embarrassed to get therapy.
I was living by myself where no one could abuse me. I was an adult now and got to decide where I wanted to be, and when. I was truly making my own decisions for the first time. It was time to heal. So, I started retraining my tastebuds, dialing down the portion sizes, and decided every time I had the urge to compulsively eat that I’d go outside and walk until the feeling went away.
Little-by-little, it formed into habits. I’d leap forward and then step back, but I crawled along; always determined. In the first four months, I lost 45 lbs. The first year? 110 lbs. Trust me, I wasn’t flawless. I’m still not. Who the Heck is? But, I saw I could struggle and succeed at the same time. I’m here almost nine years later into this wild ride to tell you, you’ll never fail if you keep working. Struggle isn’t failure.
Today: I have absolutely no issues with OSA, blood sugar, or GERD anymore. Of course, I still have anxiety, but I feel like I own all the tools to reign it in the majority of the time. No one’s perfect, and no one needs to be! I eat real food in reasonable quantities, I don’t have food rules (except allergies), I don’t diet, I always have fun when I eat and exercise, and I want to be strong. My pursuit is physical and mental health and physical and mental strength. I want energy, I want power. I have some loose skin on the bottom of my stomach, my inner thighs, and mostly my arms. I’m really starting to become OK with that. This isn’t about media images. This is about taking the invasive voice in my head, locking it in a room, and telling it to “Shut. The. Fuck. Up. “
Life is time, and for however long life is I have the time for me. The crux of my story is I’m saying no to abuse. No, to the abuse during my childhood. No, to abusing myself.
Here’s a tutorial on how to edit sketches on photoshop, including clean up, changing the background, and colouring “behind” the sketch. Pretty sure most of these techniques will also work on most editing software too.
Being a business woman was both amazing and frustrating. Tonight was a mixture of both. Bruce Wayne was hosting a party and I had to go. So here I was, alone in a fancy house full of fancy people. I tried not to look awkward while standing all alone. So I just glanced around curiously as if I was searching for someone.
I was wearing my hair in a low bun with a few accessories in my hair. I had a red evening dress, not too big but it wasn’t too plain either. For once I picked white heels that weren’t killing my legs. They even went well with my white necklace and my earrings.
Live music started playing and I saw how people started dancing. Everyone seemed so happy and relaxed here. Instead of staring at others who had fun I just walked to the bar area and I took a seat. It sucked being lonely. ‘’Can I have a martini?’’ I asked tiredly but I fixed my attitude quickly by flashing the bartender a red smile. He nodded and grabbed a glass.
I could hear someone coming closer and there was a tap on my shoulder, making me turn around. First I saw a white button-up under a fancy black jacket until I moved my gaze up. That face! It was Bruce Wayne. Our eyes met and he smirked a little bit. ‘’Do you mind?’’ He asked me and nodded to the chair next to me. ‘’Not at all’’ I reassured him and watched as he took a seat next to me.
I got my martini and I sipped it while he ordered something for himself. Funny how he asked me if I would mind since this is his party. I guess he was a gentleman. ‘’I’m Bruce Wayne’’ He told me after a short silence. You see even tho I was dealing with people every day, making the first move always wrecked my nerves a bit. ‘’Surprise surprise’’ I giggled and then turned a little towards him instead of facing away. ‘’I’m Y/N Y/L/N’’ I let him know and then reached out my hand. Bruce grabbed it and shook it gently before letting go.
‘’You’ve outdone yourself Mr. Wayne. This party is beautiful’’ I complimented him sweetly. He just shrugged and grabbed his glass. ‘’Thank you. You can call me Bruce’’ He allowed me. I nodded simply. ‘’Okay Bruce. Do you ever sleep?’’ I asked him curiously. He seemed to be so busy with Wayne enterprises and off of his charity work things. The papers also wrote about his trips and mysterious periods of time while he went ‘missing’. They were always explained by unscheduled business trips.
‘’Good question, I do but probably way too little’’ He answered my silly question. ‘’Do you? It’s like you’ve been really busy lately. I’ve seen a lot of articles about you’’ Bruce admitted smoothly. So he knew who I was and he didn’t just invite me because I was a random business woman? ‘’I guess we share a problem’’ I told him. Bruce chuckled at my response.
‘’So any luck finding Batman?’’ he asked me about my recent work. It surprised me that he was interested. ‘’Nope. It’s like he vanishes during day and at night he’s always on the other side of the city than me’’ I sighed while explaining how bad I was failing. Bruce just smirked mysteriously, but I didn’t pay attention to it. ‘’Maybe you should make your own Batsign?’’ He suggested playfully. It caused me to laugh again.
‘’Yeah. I could try that’’ I thought out loud and then I smiled. I heard how the song changed in the background to a classic piano one. I glanced at Bruce who looked at me warmly. ‘’Do you want to dance?’’ He asked me. My heart skipped a beat because I was so surprised. Then he offered me his hand. ‘’Lead the way Bruce’’ I told him and placed my hand on his. So we got up and he took me to the dance floor.
We got positioned so his hand was on my waist and my hand was on his shoulder. I let him catch the rhythm before he smoothly started to lead us. People around us stared and some started whispering. I didn’t really care. I just focused on my feet and Bruce. He was a really good dancer!
‘’Do you know why I invited you here?’’ Bruce asked me while we were dancing. I looked into his eyes and I tried to think. Honestly I had no idea. ‘’Nope’’ I replied shortly, expecting him to tell me more. ‘’I wanted to finally meet you and I thought this was the easiest way to do that’’ He admitted and it made my cheeks flush. I hoped that he didn’t notice. ‘’Why? So we could talk about Batman?’’ I asked him jokingly. At first he looked a little strange but it didn’t take long until he calmed down again.
‘’That too. I also wanted to ask you if you were interested to join a meeting at Wayne enterprises on Wednesday’’ Bruce let me know. Then he spun me around which fit the dance. ‘’What is this meeting about?’’ I wanted to know more. His hand placed back on my waist. ‘’Business’’ He answered shortly. I rolled my eyes playfully.
‘’Fine Bruce’’ I gave in only because I was so curious. ‘’Only if you help me find Batman’’I added a condition. Surprise flashed across his face. ‘’You’re a woman who takes her job seriously’’ He noticed. ‘’I like that. Deal. I can build a batsign for you’’ He offered kindly. What a true gentleman. ‘’Thank you. I hope you give me a time so I know when to come on Wednesday’’ I told him calmly.
I finally created a commission sheet! I’m going to be paying off my student loans soon, so I figured this will be a great way for me to do that. I will most likely change my sheet over time, but for now, I’m keeping it simple.
If you are interested, message my email at: firstname.lastname@example.org. I accept paypal usd only.