how to care for extroverts

How to Care for an Extrovert

1. Respect their need for independence and autonomy.

2. Praise and compliment them in front of others.

3. Affirm their passion and enthusiasm.

4. Encourage them to talk things through as a way of processing problems and challenges.

5. Encourage and affirm their spontaneity. Surprise them from time to time.

6. Recognise that they’re likely to be super busy and, possibly, over committed, too.

7. Allow them to try new things right away, while their enthusiasm is high.

8. Give them lots of choices and options.

9. Demonstrate your love and affection. Tell them and show them how much they mean to you.

10. Give them the opportunity to shine.

How to Care for Extroverts.

1) Respect their need to be involved- Extroverts draw their energy from other people.

2) We don’t like to be embarrassed in public, either. If we play off our embarrassment as a joke- try and play along.

-Extroverts live for physical and verbal indications of affection and can easily see through false compliments.

3) Don’t be surprised if we jump head-first into a new situation. Encourage our enthusiasm.

4) More often than not an Extrovert will leap right into any conversation. We like to talk ideas through. This can come across as rude- but it’s not meant to be.

5) We’re going to interrupt you. I’m terribly sorry. If it helps at all, we try and wait (most times) for the least interrupting moment for interruption. We just have so much to say, and the need to say it before it gets pushed out by a new thought. This isn’t the first time it’ll be said- be patient.

6) Two words: Positive Surprises. Extroverts have the tendency to become depressed when presented with quotidian activity
day-in and day-out.

7) Extroverts tend to be fashionably late. Even with prior notice, our habitual multitasking tends to keep us busy. Even if we aren’t multitasking in a physical sense, our brains tend to be whirring away constantly- so we have a habit of forgetting details. Like time.

8 ) Whether we are confronted in private or in person, it is good to be aware that most Extroverts have “flash-over” tempers”. Being in public can exasperate this reaction.

9) Extroverts love learning new things but have the habit of jumping ahead of the curve, if you will. Be patient.

10) Extroverts love being around people, and making friends. They’ll typically know a lot of different people, and have a variety of acquaintances and “friends”. Most, though, have a singular, core group of really good friends and are
fiercely loyal towards them.

-It’s easy to not take an Extrovert seriously when it comes to the people they introduce as friends, as they have so
many and are constantly trading them in and out, but this is not an open invitation for insult. Extroverts will be
defensive and sometimes aggressive when they feel their personality is being threatened.

11) Respect their Extroversion- don’t try and make them into introverts.

source: http://rileymoreadhieladair.tumblr.com/

4

Type Contrast: ENTP & INTP

I was asked to write an article defining the differences between INTPs and ENTPs, so here goes. Both share cognitive functions, but the order of the functions changes their personality. On the surface, you might think the ENTP and INTP are alike, but they’re not.

Both use extroverted feeling, which adapts to their environment, reflects the emotional mood around them, and is seen in outward expressiveness and enthusiasm for topics they care about. Each has some level of concern for humanity (based on their level of active Fe-usage, you can find cold ENTPs and warm INTPs, so don’t assume one or the other is extroverted or introverted based on how much they “care”). An ENTP can seem introverted if they withdraw emotionally to process new information; an INTP can seem extroverted in familiar surroundings. Both are going to be a sentimental and practical – but the INTP more so than the ENTP, because the INTP’s Ne bounces off their Si (detailed information, past experience comparison, practicality), whereas the ENTP’s Si is their least-used function.

Their primary difference is how vocal and how outgoing they are – the ENTP loves people, and wants to invite more people into their inner circle, since more people means more expression of, and possibilities for, new ideas. To them, more people = more possibilities. ENTPs love to talk, since their Ne (explosion of ideas) encourages them to verbally express ideas. Consider the 10th Doctor. He talks a lot about ideas and what’s happening around him but will stop talking as he processes something. He’s using his introverted thinking to figure it out – he’ll even say, “Oh, that is brilliant,” without clueing in anyone as to what he’s thinking, because he just worked it out in his head. Ti is all about internal problem solving, then sharing the result rather than the thought process.

ENTPs love coming up with new ideas and exposing other people to them. This means they can tip their hand in their excitement to share their most recent discovery (the problem of many a fictional ENTP villain… oops, I should not have said that, but I wanted you to hear it, so you’d know how BRILLIANT it is! – Jim Moriarty). ENTPs are very sure of themselves and their ideas, more so than the INTP – the INTP's first line of thinking is “will this work?” The ENTP thinks it might work, and that’s a good enough starting point. The ENTP is active in their desire to change things, where the INTP is active in their desire to ponder changing things. For the ENTP, the excitement is in doing – for the INTP, the excitement is in the thinking.

Since both use introverted thinking, both are extremely analytical and love to ask questions – because their motivation is not using information, but understanding it. However, the INTP is more analytical than their extroverted counterpart, because that is the function they use most. Rather than coming up with endless possibilities, the INTP filters all new information and ideas through their logic to see whether or not the idea is logical before they “waste time” thinking about it further. The INTP is going to be less verbal with their ideas, since they want to fully think them through first (but more vocal in asking questions, so as to get more information). The INTP is also going to be more self-analytical – since they are so analytical, and live so much inside their head, naturally they are going to want to understand themselves.

Where the ENTP filters life through possibilities first and logic second, the INTP approaches life with logic first and possibilities second. The ENTP is going to be more experimental, the INTP is going to be more cautious. The ENTP has an easier time dealing with other people (Ti-Fe realizes information and ponders how it will impact those involved), where the INTP is a better problem solver (Ne-Si relates the current problem or situation to other situations and problems like it).

Stress shifts behavior to lesser functions. An ENTP under stress is going to be motivated through people + practicality. An INTP under stress is going to be motivated through practicality + people. Amy Pond under emotional stress reverts to solving the problem and doing what’s best for Rory (Si-Fe – I can’t have kids [logical statement], he loves kids [fact], I’ll divorce him so he can marry someone who can have kids [Fe-driven solution]). The 10th Doctor under emotional stress reverts to doing what’s best for humanity, then solving the problem (Fe-Si – this race is endangering the lives of everyone else in the galaxy [Fe-driven observation]; to protect them, I must wipe out this alien race [practical solution]).

How do you tell them apart at a glance? The ENTP will bounce their ideas off anyone around them; the INTP saves their information for the people they trust most. The ENTP talks more than the INTP, but when the INTP does talk, their comments are well-reasoned. The ENTP is easily distracted by new ideas; the INTP can miss things while processing information. The ENTP is open to more possibilities, which makes them more reckless in their ideas; the INTP shuts out irrational possibilities and points out the potential problems of certain ideas.

In a nutshell, the ENTP says, “I think a dinosaur theme park is an awesome idea! I don’t know how we’re going to do it, but let’s do it!” and the INTP asks, “Is that even possible?” and sits there for awhile, thinking about it and all the potential ways it could be a total disaster and how they might thwart potential fallout, while the ENTP recruits scientists and names the park. Both have strengths and weaknesses and both are awesome in their own way.

How to Care for an Extrovert

1. Respect their need for independence and autonomy.

2. Praise and compliment them in front of others.

3. Affirm their passion and enthusiasm.

4. Encourage them to talk things through as a way of processing problems and challenges.

5. Encourage and affirm their spontaneity. Surprise them from time to time.

6. Recognise that they’re likely to be super busy and, possibly, over committed, too.

7. Allow them to try new things right away, while their enthusiasm is high.

8. Give them lots of choices and options.

9. Demonstrate your love and affection. Tell them and show them how much they mean to you.

10. Give them the opportunity to shine.

Function by Function Typing Summary (WIP) Part One: The Analysts (NTs)

SUBMITTED by intj-the-cynical-idealist

I’ve typed quite a few characters and over time I’ve developed certain “tells” for the different types. In this post I’ll try to summarize how I look for each type’s functions in a character. Hopefully this will turn out to be a comprehensive system (unrealistic INTJ goals) but I don’t plan on doing it alone. If you see something you disagree with, or something to add, speak up. I’m confident in my understanding of some types and functions, but others are a bit harder for me to understand.

INTJ

Introverted Intuitive Dominant

Comprehension and pursuit of abstract concepts and ideals. A focused and future oriented vision. Is most comfortable when they can see several steps ahead of everyone else and usually they can.     

Extroverted thinking Auxiliary 

Practically pursues ideals and future visions set forth by Dom Ni. Focuses on functionality and efficiency generally, but more noticeably in its pursuit of Ni ideals.

Introverted Feeling Tertiary

Strongly held convictions, often based on abstract Ni foundation. Emotionally subtle and private but fiercely loyal to people and causes they cares about.

Extroverted Sensing Inferior

Prefers to work behind the scenes to achieve their Ni goals. Often uncomfortable with physicality and “getting their hands dirty.” Typically has a taste for the finer things in life.

INTP

Introverted Thinking Dominant

Seeks logical consistency and depth. Enjoys systems of logical framework, building their own and appreciating those that others build. Develops and studies complex systems pertaining to their varied and abstract Ne interests. Slow to form definite judgement. Prefers to take the time to make sure that a conclusion is consistent.

Extroverted Intuitive Auxiliary

Openness to alternate possibilities and a thirst for variety. Often Innovative and inventive. Typically curious and creative, specifically when it comes their logical Ti systems. 

Introverted Sensing Tertiary

 Tendency to fall back into the same patterns. Finds comfort in routine and seeks stability to counteract the inconsistent perspective of Ne.   

Extroverted Feeling Inferior

Often uncomfortable with open displays of emotion. Prefers to remain reasonable at all times. Cares more about how other people see them then they would like to admit and often wishes they had more social skills than they currently possess.

ENTJ

Extroverted thinking Dominant

Practically pursues order in their environment. Prone to leadership and tends to be strategic minded in co-coordinating others. Focuses on functionality and efficiency and does not mince words when they believe something needs to be said.

Introverted Intuitive Auxiliary

Comprehension and pursuit of abstract concepts and ideals. A focused and future oriented vision. Future visions and ideals often are built upon Te foundation, seeking to build a better future in which they are independent and powerful enough to pursue their personal goals of protecting and providing for themselves and those they care about.    

Extroverted Sensing Tertiary

Energized by their environment, but often impulsive. Doesn’t hesitate in pursuit of their goals, but instead jumps straight in and tries to change the situation to their advantage.

Introverted Feeling Inferior

Has strongly held convictions, but is often emotionally volatile. Emotionally subtle and private but fiercely loyal to people and causes they cares about. Can be self conscious and insecure, unsure of how to take care of themselves emotionally.

ENTP

Extroverted Intuitive Dominant

Openness to alternate possibilities and a thirst for variety. Often Innovative and inventive. Typically curious and creative, taking on many different hobbies and pursuits. Energetic and inspired when it comes to ideas and concepts that interest them

Introverted Thinking Auxiliary

Seeks logical consistency and depth. Enjoys systems of logical framework, building their own and appreciating those that others build. Develops and studies complex systems pertaining to their varied and abstract Ne interests.

Extroverted Feeling Tertiary

Prefers to remain reasonable at all times, but also has a sense of the emotional environment Cares more about how other people see them then they would like to admit, and often tries very hard to be liked and affirmed. Uses the creativity and insight of their Ne to manipulate the emotional environment, either to put people at ease, or to push their buttons 

Introverted Sensing Inferior

Tends to be uncomfortable with tradition, but also sees the past as being very significant. Often has a “running forwards while looking over their shoulder” approach to life. Can be forgetful when it comes to details, preferring to make general statements.

How to Care for an Extrovert

1. Respect their need for independence and autonomy.
2. Praise and compliment them in front of others.
3. Affirm their passion and enthusiasm.
4. Encourage them to talk things through as a way of processing problems and challenges.
5. Encourage and affirm their spontaneity. Surprise them from time to time.
6. Recognise that they’re likely to be super busy and, possibly, over committed, too.
7. Allow them to try new things right away, while their enthusiasm is high.
8. Give them lots of choices and options.
9. Demonstrate your love and affection. Tell them and show them how much they mean to you.
10. Give them the opportunity to shine.

Star Wars: Yoda [INTP]

Introverted Thinking (Ti): Separate his emotions from his observations, Yoda can. Objective analysis, he prefers. Teaching in riddles, asking his students to think rather than giving them the answer, Yoda enjoys. Able to remain objective at all times, Yoda is. Deeper understanding of the force, and how it works, he desires.

Extroverted Intuition (Ne): Careful not to be too specific, Yoda is. Many options, he sees. Sense much in Anakin, both for good and evil, he can. The force as a universal, complex system that involves many different ideas, potentials, and possibilities, he understands. Curious about all things, he is. Exploring all his options, Yoda enjoys.

Introverted Sensing (Si): On the force, and on the success of past instructors and Jedi to teach and make his decisions, Yoda relies. Shared experiences and history, Yoda trusts. Intense memories of past encounters, Yoda has. To use them to reinforce his opinions in the present, Yoda seeks. Familiar sights, sounds, and twinges in the force, Yoda senses.

Extroverted Feeling (Fe): Care for everyone, and risk his life to protect them, Yoda can. Gentle in his criticisms, at times, Yoda is. Honest in his feelings, Yoda can be.

To be honest, every time I see that “how to care for introverts/extroverts” post I kind of get really annoyed.

Mostly because the rules are kind of more along the lines of “how not to be an asshole toward ANYONE” but also because jesus christ. It kinda acts like introverts are these delicate little creatures who will keel over and die if you interact with them the wrong way.

How’s about just treating people like human beings and not trying to follow some care guide in order to interact with them like you’re babysitting someone’s puppy.

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“How To Be Alone” by Tanya Davis